.::The XHF Presents: Night of Champions [3/31/02]::.
Aug 31, 2017 17:06:17 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer likes this
Post by Slainmaker on Aug 31, 2017 17:06:17 GMT -5
The Xtreme Hardcore Federation Presents:
Night of Champions
Night of Champions
March 31st, 2002
Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Madison Square Garden, New York City, New York
Night of Champions…
Night of Champions
The Night of Champions
Night of Champions
The Night of Champions
Mongo: The Night of Champions! Live from Madison Square Garden!!!
*”Giving In” by Adema starts up as some of the highlights from Xtraction on play before the lights go out while “Giving In” by Adema continues to play*
In the hearts of real men, lie champions
Mayhem: We will dominate this match!
*Scenes of XHF newcomers Mayhem and Super Sonic appear on the screen, spray painting "NOC" on the back of The Renegades Of HaRdKoRe*
I the hearts of real champions, lie great men
Skanker: You think you can beat this? Are you stupid? Do you know who we are?! WE WILL DESTROY YOU!
*The Renegades of HaRdKoRe are shown in several slow motion action shots*
One man goals...
Tazz: BEAT ME IF YOU CAN, SURVIVE IF I LET YOU!!
*Shows Tazz winning the ECW World, Televsion and Tag Team Titles*
...Can be another's destiny
*Shows Shock connecting with a Dissconnection*
Shock: I am the true living legend of this business!
Within beauty, one finds strength
Trish: I can’t believe that slut thinks she can take me
*Trish is shown in several sequences being her Stratusfying self, leading into her big win over Chyna*
Within strength, there is beauty
Cyna: I’m the first woman in the XHF to win a man’s title! Trish, you stand no chance!
*Chyna is shown in some scenes of her kicking ass, leading into some modeling shots*
Four lives, in double Jeopardy
*Clips play as Freestyle, Chris Sanders, Reak, and Mr. Perfect earn their ways to Night of Champions*
Reak: After Night Of Champions, I will be the greatest XHF European Champion, EVER!
*Shows all four brawling, and then clips of Freestyle's, Reak's, "Primetime" Chris Sanders's and Mr. Perfect's entrances*
One man, who has given his soul to become one of the greatest
Tom: You can’t beat me! I’m the greatest Internet Champion ever!
*Clips play of Torturous Tom training, training, wrestling, training, and putting his all into the sport he loves*
The other, has given his body
Harry: Hardcore nearly ruined me, but what doesn’t kill you, only makes you stronger!
*"Pee Pee Man" chants start and Hardcore Harry is seen in the middle of the ring with a disgusted look on his face before we switch to familiar scenes from Xtraction as Harry goes plunging off the set, and then through the floor, they cut to him in the hospital, Unknown putting him through his bed and winning the Hardcore title, and Harry’s return*
Hardcore born, hardcore raised
The Hardcore Kid: I’m hardcore today, hardcore tomorrow, hardcore for life!
*More scenes from Xtraction as the Kid flys off the set onto Harry, and through the stage, the screen goes blank, only to play some fast shots of the Kid going hardcore upon his return*
When the only thing you’ve ever know is hardcore, you’re pretty damn good at it
The Unknown: You think you can take this away from me? Well little man, I will prove to you why I’m the hardcore champ and you’re just a chump!
A legend in the making
Rhein the Killa: I don’t care who the hell you are! This is my title, and you won’t get it, what you will get, is a gore!
*Scenes from Rhein’s beginnings all the way to his US title win are shown*
A shoe in for an Oscar
Goldust: Soon, you too, will never forget the name of *inhales* Goldust…
*Goldust beating a path straight to Rhein is shown*
Three teams, risking it all, for tag team glory
*Scene after scene play, showing all three teams interacting with each other, wins, losses, friendships*
Charlie: This TLC match, it's the most brutal match ever. I mean, all six of our careers can end in this match.
*Clips from the X-Traction ladder match is shown, and then The Warrior powerboming The Dark Mistress threw a table*
A loose cannon
Slain: I hope you are all there, watching the Slain Event, when I finally rid Destruction of his title!
*Clips of Slain’s backstage hi-jinks and innumerable wins in the ring. Then his spike Legend Maker with Rhein, that almost broke Destruction's neck.*
A man driven by rage
*Clip of Destruction destroying his locker room*
And has everything to lose
Destruction: My match at Night Of Champions, is not just for the North American Championship, it's a personal problem.
*Mongo's car explodes, and Hanz is seen smiling from this incident*
The new blood
Hanz: I will walk out of Night Of Champions with the XHF World Heavyweight Title!
*Mongo is then seen beating Hanz up, and then when he and The Unknown delivering a double chokeslam*
The one and only
Mongo: Night Of Champions is a marking point. The marking point of Hanz's era dying!
*Rage's pyro's then shoot up, and then Rage is seen doing one of his four corner taunts. Rage is then seen hitting the Fist Of Rage on The Hardcore Kid, Destruction and Millennium. And then it cuts to Torrie hitting Millennium with the tire iron*
Rage: ..You've now resorted to cowardly steel chair attacks from behind to take out your nemesis, eh Millennium man? Well let me just say that I think you are an embarrassment to this business altogether after witnessing cowardly acts like that or in other words you're nothing more than a horrible plague in this federation that just won't die..but at Night of Champions though, not only will you be receiving an XHF certified ass-whipping and extermination, but you'll also have the pleasure of receiving the greatest Fist of Rage ever and after the match you'll have the fine pleasure of lying face first on the mat in agony and then glancing up to see me atop the turnbuckles holding high above my head the title that should truly be mine, my damn Ultimate Title!
*Millennium then is shown, with his arm's extended, with his Ultimate Championship in one of his hands. It then splits into Millennium hitting The Ball Drop on Mongo, Chris Benoit and Hardcore Harry. And then it splits into Millennium locking Torrie Wilson in the Liontammer*
Millennium: The fact is Rage... You can't beat me. Ever. I am Larger Than Life, and there is nothing that can stop me now. You think you're in your prime and ready to take this title from me. Think again. If you're at your best, I'm 10 times better. I've always been better and I'll always be better than you. The closest you could ever come to beating me would be on my worst day and your best, which is basically the same. You come out here and talk over and over again about how I'm a bitch and a coward and all this other crap. Am I a coward now? Standing right here in the ring with you, face to face? Am I a coward now? Was it real cowardly of me to hit that bitch up a few times this past week?
*The slow part of the song begins, and it shows Rage and Millennium staring face to face. I then shows Hanz hitting a Hanzemimmer, then a close up of Destruction holding the North American Championship in the air, and then Slain doing his crucifix with the middle fingers out pose. Then Mark Chaves (The vocalist) screams and then fast footage of The Scarecrow Implant DDTing Charlie Velez off the ladder into the outside, Trish hitting the Stratusfaction on Chyna and then holding up the Cruiserweight Title, Tom hitting the Tackle Of Death on Se7en, Rhein delivering a Gore onto BDD in a Greenhouse match, Super Sonic delivering a Chaos Drop on Skanker, The Unknown almost breaking The Hardcore Kid's anke with the Ankle Lock, Chyna powerboming Mr. Perfect, Destruction with an Eve Of Destruction on Shock, The Warrior and Weirdo hitting the In Your Face on Sanders, Freestyle holding his ticket up in victory, Goldust on the turnbuckle during his entrance, and Reak flying with the SpringVille Splash off the ladder onto Rhein. The ending then is played and fast footage of all the XHF Superstars is played and then the song ends*
Night of Champions…
Night of Champions
The Night of Champions
Night of Champions
The Night of Champions
*The arena lies in darkness, “Giving In” Starts up for all the crowd to hear as blue flares fire from the ring corners, red sparks pour form the celling, and a huge white explosion fires from the entranceway as the lights come on*
Cole: Hello and welcome to Madison Square Garden where we are live with Night of Champions! Now lets turn things over to Mongo in the ring!
*The camera pans to Mongo, who is all dressed up in a white tux with some airbrushed desings on it, kinda like the duds you’d see on Jimmy Hart, and of course, a gold feather boa*
Mongo: Hello Madison Square Garden!
*Cheers*
Mongo: Before we get this show started, let me introduce to you those who will help to make this the best Pay Per View you will ever! First, may I introduce former wrestling all star and now commentator extrodanair, Jerry “the King” Lawler!
*King’s royal entrance theme starts up and he makes his way ringside all decked out for this huge night, he’s sporting a gold cape with a matching gold crown*
Mongo: Yes, don’t you all love him?
*Cheers from the crowd (He may be a heel, but he’s likeable damnit!)*
Mongo: Next up we have one of the former commentators for the BDDWF, your friend and mine, Ray Usher!
*”My Way” strikes up as the fans greet the young Ray, he takes it in smiling, then he sees Mongo, the smile quickly leaves his face.*
Mongo: Yes, well, moving on, he’s the voice of reason behind the table, he’s the man you should all trust, he is the one, the only, Joey Hawke!
*”Hotel California” blares out and Joey Hawke comes out looking really pumped, the crowd doesn’t take to him quite so well, but it’s all good*
Mongo: Finnially, she has worked her way back to a job, she is the ever so hot Bonnie Jenkins!
*”Pretty Woman” plays Bonnie out to the ring where Mongo holds the ropes for her, he also hands her the microphone, then he begins to make it down to the commentator’s table.*
Bonnie: Now lets hear it for Michael and Mongo, they have been here all day working trying to make this the best it can be!
*Mongo and Cole stand up for a standing ovation/ barrage of beer cups, which Mongo is able to dodge, Ray isn’t so lucky.*
Bonnie: Now, lets get this show started!
*"Back To School" by The Deftones hits, Mayhem and Super Sonic come out with blue lights following them down. They get in the ring and just stands there, but then goes on one side of the turnbuckles and taunt.*
Bonnie: The following tag match is scheduled for one fall, introducing first, weighing in at a combined weight of 467lbs, Mayhem and Super Sonic!
Mongo: These kids have got a lot going for them, I mean, who can stop them?
Ray: So far, everyone
Cole: He makes a good point
Joey: He never makes a good point
*The lights dim as blue and yellow lights circle around from the stage. Suddenly, huge blue and yellow fireworks burst as "Renegades Of Funk" by Rage Against The Machine starts blasting from the P.A. The crowd goes wild as The Skanker and Cyclone makes their way down to the ring to a huge ovation. *
Bonnie: Now, making their way to the ring at a combined weight of 467lbs, Cyclone and Skanker, The Renegades of Hardkore!
Mongo: Since when are they back together?
Cole: They’ve been together again for a while now
Joey: Yeah, I figured that we’d all be glad that the Renegades of Hardkore were gone, but there they are, damn.
Tag-Team Match
Mayhem & Super Sonic -vs- The Renegades Of HaRdKoRe
Ray: And the tag is made
King: Really? Are you sure
Bonnie: I’m a little confused on that one myself, but I think it is
Mongo: What the hell are you doing commentating?
Bonnie: Well, I just figured that I could get in on some of the fun
Cole: Well, I’d say keep your other job
Ray: Hehe
Bonnie: I don’t get it
Mongo: Neither do I, but does it really matter?
*Cyclone levels Mayhem with a clothesline and then runs over to Sonic and slams his head into the turnbuckle! When Cyclone turns around, he is met with an axe kick from Mayhem. Sonic recovers quickly, but instead of getting back on the apron, he goes over to Skanker, pulls him from his corner, and begins to take swings at him!*
Ray: What the hell?
Cole: What a dumb-ass
Joey: No, I see what he’s trying to do, he’s isolating Cyclone
*Skanker isn’t in the mood for games, he whips sonic into the steps hard and grabs a chair from under the ring. In the ring, Cyclone is back up and has just given mayhem the spear of his life!*
Ray: He’s gonna feel that in the morning!
Bonnie: I don’t know, he’ll probably heal quickly
*He picks Mayhem up and power slams him into the mat, he goes for the pin 1-2- kickout. Back on the outside, Skanker is tearing into Sonic’s arm with the chair; Sonic finally gets a rest when Mayhem is thrown out on top of Skanker care of Cyclone. Cyclone looks at what he has done and rushes to help the Skandalous one.*
Mongo: I bet that was on purpose
King: Duh, that jackass will do anything if it’s stupid enough
Bonnie: You know, he was in the XHF for a time
Mongo: Yeah, and now everyone’s in it, what’s your point?
*As soon as Cyclone gets out of the ring, Sonic flies over him with a sunset flip. As Sonic holds the pin on Cyclone, Skanker just laughs then kicks Sonic in the face.*
Bonnie: Wait, I thought that you couldn’t pin outside of the ring in a normal match
Ray: You can’t, that’s why its funny
Cole: Hahahahahahaha!
*The ref is getting a little agitated by the teams being outside the ring, just as he’s reaching his 9 count, Mayhem pulls him out of the ring, well, he tries, but the ref kicks him in the face, looks like Mongo’s ref self defense classes are working.*
Mongo: I knew those classes would come in handy
Cole: Weren’t you cheering for Mayhem though?
King: Cole, only a fool hurts a ref
*However, Mayhem’s attempt has gotten the two teams 10 more counts to get in the ring. Cyclone has had enough of the silliness as he and Skanker toss their opponents into the ring like sandbags. They both go in after them, but the ref holds Skanker back. As he’s holding Skanker back, Mayhem lands a low blow on Cyclone.*
Cole, Ray, Bonnie, King, Joey & Mongo: Ouch!
*Mayhem quickly rolls up Cyclone for the pin, the ref turns around 1-2- kickout! They both get up, Mayhem runs to tag in Sonic, but Cyclone grabs him and whips him to the corner, he climbs to the top and lands a dead end! He casually pins Mayhem as the ref counts 1-2-3*
Winners: Cyclone and Skanker, the Renegades of HaRdKoRe
Bonnie: Well, how about that?
Mongo: God dammit, what a bad start to a great show!
Cole: I thought it was good
Joey: Of course you would
Mongo: Hey Joe, you’re catching on!
*All of a sudden, "Medal" hits as the XHF's newest tandem, Rob Van Dam & Kurt Angle, with their lovely manager, Debra make their way to the ring
for the first time to a huge ovation.*
Rob Van Dam: Thank you for the warm welcome, but, lets get to what we are out here to say. We are the most extreme tag team in the XHF. We know that the Real Deal have that title right now and that's why we are challenging them to a series of extreme matches to determine the most extreme team in XHF. It doesn't matter if they have their titles or not. We just want to show why we are going to be tag champs before long. So, Real Deal, what do you say?
*Rob Van Dam, Kurt Angle and Debra then walk backstage.*
Mongo: What the hell was that about?
Cole: I have no idea
Joey: You wouldn’t
Mongo: Now you’re just putting it on a little thick
Joey: I was doing this years before you!
Mongo: Fair enough, but I own you
Joey: Oh, yeah, whoops
*The heart monitor starts pumping then suddenly stops. A big pyro in the middle of the top of the ramp explodes as "Thug Superstar" by Cypress Hill plays and Tazz come out with a towel on his head. He gets in the ring and then throws his towel to the crowd, and then goes on one side of the ring and climbs the second turnbuckle and has his arms cross.*
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing, from the Red Hook district of Brooklyn, N.Y., weighing in at 240 pounds, Tazz!
King: Hey Cole! Remember when that thug bastard had to fill in for you?
Cole: Vividly
Ray: Really? That ugly piece filled in for you?
Cole: It’s a long story
Mongo: Not really
*“Cocky” plays until the first chorus, and a Christian-like pyro explodes, it goes away to reveal Shock, with Stacy Keibler following him. Shock does a Christian-like walk to the ring, and in the ring Shock poses for the fans on the 2nd rope.*
Bonnie Jenkins: And the challenger, from Birmingham, Alabama, weighing in at 241 pounds, accompanied by Stacy Keibler, Shock!
Mongo: Oh yeah, he’s a winner
Cole: He is
Mongo: My god, when will you learn the art of sarcasm?
Joey: I’m sure even Ray knows his sarcastic remarks, don’t you Ray?
Ray: Yes, Stacy is hot
No Disqualifaction Match
Tazz –vs- Shock w/Stacy Keibler
Mongo: Look at that wuss, was he always like that?
Joey: Yes, always a wuss
Ray: No he wasn’t
Joey: Yes, the man has a fear of commitment
King: Yeah, commiphobia
Bonnie: You mean kami-
Mongo: No Bonnie, not that one, jeez, what did Dog man do to you?
*Halfway up the ramp though, Tazz came following and attacked Shock from behind! Tazz then grabs Shock and overhead belly-to-belly suplexes Shock on the steel ramp!*
Mongo: Serves him right!
Joey: Yeah! You know Mongo, you’re not such a bad guy
Ray: The man is Satan himself!
*As Shock holds his back, Tazz picks him up and throws him back in the ring. Tazz then tells Shock to get up, and when he did Tazz hard clotheslined him down. Tazz did this two other times, but when the third time he tried, Shock ducked and hit a neckbreaker. Shock made the cover, but Tazz kicked out. Shock then picked Tazz up, and then punched him into a corner. Tazz then was stomped on his chest by Shock, and then Shock choked Tazz with his big boot. The referee then tried to break the hold, but Shock pushed the referee! The referee then pushed Shock back, which led into Tazz locking him in a Tazzmission!*
Mongo: See what happens when you push a ref, BOOM Tazzmission
Cole: Are you kidding me?
Joey: The man has the move locked on doesn’t he?
Bonnie: Man, or midget?
*Tazz then pulled Shock to the floor, and the referee then asked Shock if he quit, but Stacy Keibler got on the apron. Shock then tapped out, but the referee was distracted with Stacy!*
King: Now that’s a good distraction!
Mongo: Yes
Joey: Ok Stacy, we get it, you’re hot, now let the match continue
*Tazz then broke the hold and just stomped on Shock, as Stacy got off the apron. Tazz then picked up Shock and threw him in the corner, and then kicked Shock in the gut. Tazz then went to the other turnbuckle on the other side of the ring and ran with a clothesline, but Shock backdropped him to the outside, making Tazz hit his head on the ring steps!*
Mongo: Ow! God! Guess who’s gonna be paying for those medical bills!
Bonnie: His salary?
Mongo: Damn straight
*Shock then fell on his knees and distracted the referee, as Stacy Keibler started heading for Tazz. As Tazz was sitting in the corner of the ring steps, Stacy stomped on his and then choked him with her 42-inch legs!*
King: I’d love that to happen to me!
Mongo: Been there done that
Ray: You are such a liar
Joey: No, I was there
Mongo: No you- I mean, yeah, sure, whatever
*Shock then rolled out of the ring, and started stomping on Tazz. Shock then picked up Tazz and suplexed him, and then threw him into the railing. Shock then picked Tazz up and set his back on the railing, and then started chopping on his chest. Shock then moved back to the ring, and ran to Tazz, but Tazz backdropped him to the crowd! As Tazz was making his way to the crowd though, Stacy had used her long legs again by kicked Tazz in the back. Shock then pushed Tazz off the railing, then throwing him in the ring. Shock then leg dropped Tazz across the throat, and then Shock made the cover, but Tazz kicked out. Shock then went to the top rope, and then pointed to Stacy, who smiled and blow a kiss to Shock. Shock then blew a kiss back, which must has been a bad move as Tazz got up and hit a top rope Tazplex!*
Cole: What a damn thing to do! He was showing his affection for Stacy!
Bonnie: Ah, he’s such a sweetie
Cole: Why thank you
Bonnie: I meant Shock, but you are cool too
*Tazz was too weak to make the cover though, and when he did it was a quick kickout by Shock. Both men then got up, and Shock went for a clothesline, but Tazz caught him from behind and German suplexed Shock to the mat! Tazz made a quick cover, but Shock kicked out! Tazz then locked Shock in an arm bar, which was in great pain. Shock tried to get himself to the ropes, but Tazz pulled him back to the center of the ring. Shock then crawled himself closer to the ropes, and then Stacy Keibler grabbed Shock’s arm and put it on the ropes, breaking the hold!*
King: She needs to stop getting involved in the match and come sit in my lap!
Mongo: Yes, she does need to stop getting involved
*Tazz then stared at Stacy from the ring, and then slid out and started chasing her around the ring! Stacy slid into the ring and Tazz followed, but Shock was right there and went for a clothesline, but Tazz ducked and got Shock in a Tazzmission! But Stacy was still in the ring, and she raked Tazz’s eyes to break the hold! Tazz then dropped Shock to the mat, and then turned around at Stacy Keibler. Stacy didn’t show any fear as she went for a slap to the face, but Tazz ducked and locked her in the Tazzmission! Stacy was then on her knees, and then Shock came from behind and kicked Tazz in the nuts!*
Ray, Bonnie, King, Joey, Mongo, & Cole: Yow!
*Tazz ached in pain as Stacy rolled out of the ring, and then Shock hit the rolling blackout! Shock made the cover, but Tazz somehow kicked out! Shock then drove his fits into the mat for anger, and then called that he was going to fly. Shock then didn’t make the same mistake as he made before, and flew across the ring with a frog leg drop. Shock then made a cover, but he didn’t hook the leg, which was probably the result of Tazz kicking out! Shock then was more angered as before, and then picked Tazz up and went for the Disconnection! Shock then hooked Tazz’s arms behind his back, but Tazz broke it and then got Shock in another Tazzmission. But this time, Tazz lifted Shock up in the move and hit a Tazzmission Suplex! Tazz then made the cover, but he was too close to the ropes as Shock put his foot on them to break the count! Tazz then picked Shock up and hung him on the ropes with a suplex. Tazz then stepped on the second turnbuckle, and elbowed dropped Shock across the back of the neck. Shock then fell out of the ring, and Tazz went to follow, but Stacy climbed up the steps and started shaking her ass in front of Tazz’s face.*
King: You shake that ass!
Ray: Yes, damn, she is a real hotty
*Tazz seemed to be please, and then smacked Stacy’s ass! Stacy seemed to be upset, and then sprayed Tazz with Pepper Spray that she hid in her pants! The referee then was going to disqualify Shock, but Stacy then started getting close to him and he was distracted. Then out of nowhere, Brock Lesnar ran into the ring with Paul Heyman standing outside the ring! Lesnar then got a blinded Tazz and hit his trademark Samoan Drop into Downward Spiral move! A dizzied Shock slid into the ring and made the cover, and then Stacy told the referee that Shock was making the cover, and then he counted the 1-2-3!*
Winner: Shock
Bonnie Jenkins: The winner of this match, Shock!
Mongo: Am I the only one who thought that Brock was a little bit of an overkill?
Joey: I fully agree, that was just unnecessary
Cole: But he won the match!
Joey: Yes, Brock did win the match
Ray: He means, at least Shock picked up the victory
King: Yeah, Whatsup wit dat?
*Brock Lesnar then helped Shock up and seemed to be helping him. But as Shock was lifted up, Shock knocked the referee down with a Big Boot because of what he was doing with Stacy. Stacy then looked down at the prone referee, and then spit on the back of his head. But as Shock was getting out of the ring, Brock Lesnar caught him and spinebuster slammed him to the mat! Lesnar then picked Shock up again and hit his Samoan Drop into Downward Spiral move! Stacy seemed to be pissed with him, but Lesnar clotheslined her down! Lesnar and Paul Heyman then celebrated in the ring, with broken bodies all over the ring!*
Mongo: Hmm, this Brock character has suddenly caught my interest
Joey: Is it because he took out that wimp Shock?
Mongo: Yes, yes it is
*Reak is shown entering Madison Square Garden, crowds going crazy. Nelly Angel runs to catch up to him*
Nelly: Reak! Reak can I ask you a few questions real quick?
Reak: Sure, shoot!
Nelly: How do you feel about fighting for your first title in the XHF in your hometown of NYC?
Reak: Well I am really nervous and excited. I hope I go home tonight to my family with the gold. The European gold!
Nelly: How do you feel about there might being a chance that you and your buddy Freestyle go one on one tonight?
Reak: Well the better man is gonna win. Me and Freestyle spoke about the other night. Who ever wins, wins. Our friendship isn’t gonna end due to a match. But I will not Let Mr. Perfect beat me. He will get a severe beating tonight. He wanted to interfere in my match against Chris Sanders. He will know why they call me the Reak One.!
Nelly: Thanks For your time Reak, Now go and get ready for your match up tonight. And good luck
Reak: I’m not going to need it, tell Mr. Perfect
*Reak walks away*
Joey: Mr. Perfect is going to annihilate him
Mongo: You’re damn right
Cole: I think Reak stands a good chance!
King: You would
Bonnie: The following is a double jeopardy match for the European Championship. Introducing, first weighing in at 250 lbs., Freestyle!
Mongo: Now this kid has a bright future
Ray: I agree
Mongo: That kid is destined for failure
*"Speculum" by Adema hits as Chris Sanders opens the curtain for Trish Stratus, who walks out, followed by Sanders. The white lights flash, inside the ring the words "Prime Time" flashes.*
Bonnie: Coming to the ring, being accompanied by Trish Stratus, Chris Sanders!
King: I just don’t like him
Joey: Nobody does
Ray: I do
Joey: But you’re stupid so its ok
*The Arena's Lights go out, T.V screens Turn Cinematic, red raining pyros are shown over the entrance Way, quietly System of A Down "Toxicity" plays until BOOM Flaming pyros are shown and Reak makes his way down to the ring*
Bonnie: Now coming to the ring, weighing in at 200 lbs., Reak!
King: Damn pot smoking hippie!
*Light blue lights and the Perfect theme fill the arena as Mr. Perfect walks to the ring chewing gum with a towel over his shoulders.*
Bonnie: Finally, making his way to the ring, weighing in at 240 lbs., Mr. Perfect!
Mongo: You know, he may have fought against me, but I’m really starting to like him
King: Yeah, he’s like perfection
Joey: Just so all of you know what you are about to witness, basically, there are going to be two matches in one ring, then the winners of those matches face each other
Bonnie: Sounds complicated
Joey: It is
Double Jeopardy Match for the XHF European Championship
Freestyle -vs- "Primetime" Chris Sanders and Mr. Perfect -vs- Reak
Mongo: Great, they are starting it in chaos
Cole: They’re a team what did you expect
Mongo: Some regard for the rules
*The ref is glad to see Freestyle switching to Sanders alone as he lines him up and hits a strike to his head, spinning him around. Waistlock takedown by Freestyle, who then poses for the crowd. He proceeds to kick Sanders over and land the senton 1 – 2 – kick out. Freestyle tries for the whip but Sanders reverses. Reak rolls perfect into the ring and Sanders backdrops Freestyle right onto him! Reak dives in to cover Perfect but his feet are under the ropes. Sanders beats Freestyle into the corner as Perfect and Reak get to their feet. Half nelson by Perfect but Reak ducks and lifts Perfect into a Samoan drop. Perfect gets right back up and hits a knee to Reak’s face, then whips him into Sanders and Freestyle in the corner! Perfect posed, then ran into Freestyle sandwiching the other two competitors into the turnbuckle! As Reak bounced off them they both fell to the mat, with Sanders lying across Freestyle 1 – 2 – kick out. *
Bonnie: What a kickout!
Joey: You see one kick out, you’ve seen them all
*Perfect went for the Perfectplex but Reak got his own front facelock in to hit a suplex. He then ran to the ropes and hit Perfect with the Hit Em Up 1 – 2 – kick out! In the corner, Freestyle is the first to get up, and he drags Sander’s head in-between his legs and hits a cradle piledriver 1 – 2 – kick out. Freestyle whips Sanders into the ropes, and on the return Sanders is forced to jump over Perfect’s body on the mat, straight into a spinebuster! Freestyle climbs up top and drops the elbow, but nobody is home and Sanders drops the leg to capitalize 1 – 2 – kick out. Perfect starts to work on Reak with a snap suplex followed by a dropkick to Reak’s face as he sits up. Headlock by Perfect taking Reak to the ground. Reak holds his fist up in the air and builds up crowd support before elbowing his way out of the hold. Freestyle hits a back elbow on Sanders and takes him down with a drop toehold. He then pounces behind Sanders and applies the ankle lock! Sanders holds his head in pain and the referee comes to check on him. On the other side of the ring Reak goes for a German suplex but Perfect escapes the waistlock and schoolboys him. The referee turns to count the pin as Sanders begins to tap! The referee counts 1 – 2 – kick out and turns around again, to see Sanders twisting out of the hold and kicking Freestyle away!*
Cole: This is utter chaos!
Joey: Yes it is, and not that good kind
*Freestyle voices his displeasure at the referee but Sanders comes from behind with an elbow to the back of the head 1 – 2 – kick out. Reak hits a few punches on Perfect, but gets a sidewalk slam for his efforts. Freestyle turns the flow in his match with a DDT. He picks Sanders up for the Tombstone, but Sanders floats over, spins Freestyle around and hits the Prime Time Expulsion 1 – 2 – 3!*
Eliminated: Freestyle
Mongo: And now we’re down to- 3?
Joey: It looks that way
*Freestyle is ordered to exit the ring and he complies and starts working up the fans at ringside. Perfect has Reak set up for a superplex, but out of the crowd comes the masked man that attacked Perfect a month ago!*
King: Who is that man?!
*He climbs up the apron and turnbuckle as the ref is trying to keep Sanders out of the action, and pushes Perfect off down to the mat. The referee turns around as Reak hits the Springville Splash for the 1 – 2 – 3!*
Eliminated: Mr. Perfect
Joey: That’s down to 2 now Mr. Destroyer
Mongo: Yeah, I think I’m getting it
*Reak’s celebrations are stopped by the masked man throwing him over the top rope. As Perfect is in the ring on the mat the masked man steps over him and reveals a microphone. He begins to speak.*
Masked Man: That’s right Perfect, I made you lose your title one month ago, and I just ruined your chances of getting it back. You’re probably wondering who I am. After successfully showing the world that you’re not so Perfect after all, I think it’s time to reveal myself.
*The masked man takes off his mask.*
Formerly Masked Man: Matt Anarchy is finally here in the XHF, and already Anarchy Rulz! If you do so much as…
*Freestyle jumps Anarchy from behind and Reak joins him. They beat him down into the corner, and then drag him back into the center of the ring. Freestyle holds him in a full nelson, as Reak helps Perfect up. At the command of the Impact Playaz, Perfect kicks Anarchy in the stomach and hits the Perfectplex! Freestyle counts the three and Perfect lets go of him. Together the three men throw him to the outside and the Impact Playaz stand either side of Perfect, raising his arms in victory! *
Mongo: What…the….hell…..is….going….on…..in my ring!?
Bonnie: It looks like a party
*The crowd love it, but it is halted when Sanders spins Reak around and starts to beat down on him with right hands. The ref forces Freestyle and Perfect out of the ring as the second half of Double Jeopardy gets under way. They first disappear at not being able to help Reak, but Perfect turns his attentions to Anarchy, and the duo chase him up the ramp into the backstage area. Cameras turn to the ring, where Sander’s punches have turned to stomps as Reak lays on the mat. Sanders bends down with two head shots then covers 1 – 2 – kick out. Sanders picks the dazed Reak up and runs to the ropes, but on the return Reak burst into life and hits a jumping calf kick! Sanders lands sprawled and Reak covers 1 – 2 –Sanders just gets a shoulder up!*
Mongo: Damn!
Cole: This is great!
Mongo: No, its not
*Reak whips Sanders into the rope. He comes back with a clothesline, which Reak ducks. Reak ducks for the back body drop on the return but Sanders rolls over. They both jump for a crossbody as they bounce back towards each other and collide in midair. Sanders lands on top but Reak rolls through to cover 1 – 2 – kick out. Reak follows with a clothesline, but again it is ducked. Sanders goes behind and lifts Reak for a back suplex. Reak flips over and schoolboys Sanders but it is reversed into an arm scissors. Reak builds up his strength and turns the arm, pushing Sanders back onto his shoulders 1 – 2 – kick out. They both stand off and the crowd pops as Sanders glares at Reak.*
Mongo: Well if I knew they liked starring contests I would have made some matches like that!
Joey: They’re a New York audience, did you really expect more?
Mongo: I guess not
*The two tie up. Reak lifts Sanders and drops him with a powerslam. Reak jumps onto the top rope and waits for Sanders to rise. Sanders does and is taken down with a spinning wheel kick from the top 1 – 2 – kick out! Reak bends over to pick Sanders up and is taken down with a fireman’s carry. They both get up and Sanders is dropkicked down. Reak goes for the whip but Sanders reverses and whips Reak into his own elbow. Sanders spins around, and lands a picture perfect dragon suplex 1 – 2 – kick out! A T-bone suplex follows and another pin 1 – 2 – kick out. Reak is battered and is scoop slammed by Sanders and who then goes up top. Calling for the end Sanders flies with a top rope leg drop, but eats canvas as Reak avoids the attack. Reak hits an elbow into Sander’s face and retreats into the corner to recover. As the referee checks on Sanders, Reak is slapped by Trish! Reak can hardly stand and he stumbles back into a fisherman suplex by Sanders, who rolls into another, then another, and then the Blackout for the 1 – 2 – 3! Prime Time Chris Sanders is the new XHF European Champion!*
Winner: Chris Sanders
Mongo: Oh goody, we get that loser!
Joey: This can’t be good for ratings
Cole: I think it’ll generate quite a bit of income
King: Shut up, just shut up
*After the match Trish climbs in and hands Sanders a picture out of her pocket, he signs it, then puts it on Reak’s head. Then as they are going backstage, Sanders gives another one to a fan*
Bonnie: Ah for cute! He shared with the kid!
Mongo: You know, I’m starting to remember why I fired you
Joey: Now, now, Mongo just look at that body
Mongo: Yes, I am, constantly
*"Man In A Box" hits and Hardcore Harry comes from behind the curtains and red, green, and blue lights hit him and the whole arena. He stands their for a while throws a fist in the air making a line of pyro exploding in front of him and a black cloud of smoke filling the area where he's standing. Then after that routine is done he continues his walk to the ring...Where he is greeted by boos and the red, green, and blue lights still hitting him and everyone.*
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing the challenger, weighing in at 325 pounds, from Boston, Massachusetts, Hardcore Harry!
Ray: Heh, look at her face, it looks like she is going to vomit, he’s not a pretty man
*“The People That We Love* by bush hits and all the lights turn Dark Blue. When Tom turns up on the ramp a burst of fireworks go off and the lights go normal again. In the ring dark red strobe lights are flashing. Tom gets into the ring, climbs the buckle and razes one arm. He then gives the referee his Internet Champions and stares at Hardcore Harry.*
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing, weighing in at 210 pounds, from Tadley, England, he is the current holder of the Internet Championship, Tourtous Tom!
Mongo: I can’t stand him
Joey: I think most of us have gotten that idea by now
(BDDWF) Internet Championship
Hardcore Harry –vs- Tortuous Tom ©
Ray: Can you say, concussion?
Mongo: No, shut up
*Tom quickly made the cover, but Harry kicked out. Tom stomped on Harry and then went to the top rope and leg dropped Harry. Tom again made the cover, and Harry kicked out again. Tom then picked Harry up by the hair, but Harry punched Tom in the gut and hit a jawbreaker. Tom then to have bit his lip as he was hit by that jawbreaker, and Tom then fell to the floor. Hardcore Harry then applied a reverse chin lock, and Tom was in extreme pain. Tom then made his way to his feet, but when he did, Harry kneed him in the back. Harry stretched the hold for longer, and Tom seemed to be passing. The referee checked Tom hand, and when he dropped it for the third time, Tom seemed to gain back energy. Tom then stood on his feet and elbowed Harry in the gut twice. Tom then ran to the ropes and went for a victory roll, but when Tom was on Harry’s shoulders, Harry turned him around and powerbombed him to the mat!*
Mongo: That’s my boy Harry, you break him good!
Joey: Yeah pa!
*Harry then went for the cover, but Tom reversed it into a small package! 1-2-Kick out! Both men then got on their feet and Tom ran to the ropes again, but this time he knocked Harry down with a crossbody. Tom didn’t make the cover; he instead then hit a spinning leg drop, and then a senton splash. Tom didn’t stop there as he went to the top and hit an elbow drop and then went to the top again and waited for Harry to get up! When Harry final did get up, Tom went for a diving elbow smash, but Harry caught him and hit a spinning backdrop! With Tom holding his head, Harry made the cover, but Tom kicked out once again! Harry then picked Tom up and got him in a Russian leg sweep position, and then grabbed the back of Tom’s head and pushed it down, and Harry connected with a Stroke!*
King: That’s a stroke of genius!
Ray: Or madness, hey Bonnie how are you doing over there
Bonnie: remind me never to eat again
Joey: Since when have you started eating?
*Harry was about to make the cover, but instead he locked in a figure four leg lock. Tom screamed in pain as Harry tightened the hold. The referee asked Tom if he quit, but Tom refused and tried to pull himself to the ropes. Tom was almost to the ropes, but when he went grabbing for it, Harry pulled him back! Tom then screamed in pain some more, Harry started loosing the hold a little more. Tom then started to try and turn over, maybe making the move hurt Harry! After a long struggle, Tom was then able to turn completely around! Harry now was the one screaming in pain, but Tom broke the hold! Tom and Harry then got on their feet and stared limping, but Harry was able to clothesline Tom down. Harry then picked Tom up and suplexed him twice and then hit a falcon arrow. Harry then made a sloppy cover, which was an easy kick out by Tom. Harry then called for the Hangman’s DDT as he lifted Tom. Harry put Tom in the position, and picked him up, but Tom flipped over and ran to the ropes, but Harry kicked Tom in the gut and finally hit the Hangman’s DDT!*
Joey: I don’t know, this doesn’t seem to be Tom’s day, wouldn’t you agree Mongo?
Mongo: Yes, wholeheartedly
*Harry then made the cover, Tom then put his foot on the ropes, but the referee counted the pin! Harry was then given the Internet Title and started heading to the back. An instant replay on the Xtreme-Tron then is shown and this time the referee saw it! The referee then announced that the match continued!*
Mongo: Can he do that?!?!
Cole: He’s the ref, he can do what he wants
Mongo: Remind me to fire him
*An upset Harry then started heading for the ring, but Tom jumped on the third rope and hit a shooting star press! Tom then rapidly punched Harry in the head, and then threw him in the ring steps. Harry then stumbled to his feet and Tom ran and went for a Monkey flip, but Harry caught him and front suplexed him into the ring steps! Harry then sent his arm to Tom’s back, and then sent Tom’s head into the ring post. Harry then stepped on the third step and set Tom up for a Hangman’s DDT, but Tom was able to struggle out and backdrop Harry into the crowd! Tom then went to the top rope, and then flew into the crowd with a crossbody! Tom then started punching at Harry again, but this time he suplexed him on a fans chair! Tom threw Harry into the outside area, and then the ring. Tom then stomped on Harry and then jumped on the ropes again and hit a splash. Tom quickly made the cover, but Harry kicked out. Tom then picked Harry up again, but Harry raked him in the eyes. Harry then went for another clothesline, but Tom ducked ran to the ropes, but Harry picked Tom up and hit a flapjack into a spinebuster!*
Mongo: They should have let him keep the title, he’s gonna win anyway
King: Probably
*Harry couldn’t make a cover, so when both men got on their feet, Tom ran to the ropes hit a Tackle Of Death! Tom then made the cover, but somehow Harry kicked out! Tom then went to the top rope and went flying for a moonsault, but when he flipped around Harry rolled out, but a focused Tom landed on his feet. Harry then got up and when he turned around he hit another Tackle Of Death! Tom made another cover, but Harry kicked out again! A shocked Tom then made good measure of Harry by stomping him in the gut. As Harry made his way up, Tom got him in a dragon sleeper position, and dropped him with a Tominator! But Tom didn’t make the cover; instead he picked up Harry again, and hit a second Tominator! Tom then made the cover and retained his Internet Championship!*
Winner & Still Internet Champion: Tortuous Tom
Bonnie Jenkins: The winner of this match, and still Internet Champion, Tourtous Tom!
Mongo: Damn ref!
Joey: This is crap! This is total BS!
Cole: I think the ref was perfectly right in doing it!
King: Nobody cares what you think!
Ray: I do!
(Dead silence)
Ray: You guys suck
*“The People That We Love” played, and Tom then stood up and was awarded his Internet Title, but then fell and sat in the corner of the ring. He sat there for a while, and then when he got a few seconds to relax, he went on the second turnbuckle and taunted with his Internet Title in front of the screaming fans*
Mongo: Look at him, reveling in his glory, asshole
Cole: He deserves to revel in it!
King: No, he really doesn’t
*The Xtremetron switches to the image of Rob Zombie onstage as he greets the New York crowd. The crowd pop as the track ‘Feel So Numb’ is played and heard all around the arena. The performance goes down well, and half way through the Xtremetron shows the entrance of the Hardcore Kid. He comes out on stage and walks around the band, posing to the crowd to raise the crowd noise to a roar. He turns around to face the band, and is choked by the Unknown!*
Cole: That sick sadistic bastard! He was just enjoying himself!
Mongo: In the world of hardcore, nobody enjoys themselves.
(BDDWF) Hardcore Championship
The Hardcore Kid -vs- The Unknown (c)
The Hardcore Kid -vs- The Unknown (c)
*The band exits the set at the sight of the Unknown as Kid tries to fight out of his grasp. He does so and fights him off with some right hooks. Kid goes to where the band was and fetches a guitar. The Unknown looks up after holding his face only to have the guitar swung into his face! A second swing of the guitar takes the Unknown down into the corner of the set. Kid uses the time to remove a cymbal from the drum kit. He then runs at the Unknown and hits a running dropkick into the corner with the cymbal!*
Cole: What a hit!
*After the crowd dies down Kid gets up and lifts the Unknown by the head with him. He takes the Unknown to the drum kit and smashes his head against another cymbal. Sitting the Unknown on the stool Kid backs up and signals to tackle him back into the kit. Kid runs, but the Unknown grabs him by the waist and neck in midair and throws him head first into the drum kit, sending both Kid and kit flying off of the stage!*
Bonnie: Oh my god! Will they be ok?
Ray: Um, yes, and we will all live happily together, especially you and me
Joey: Don’t lie to the girl, of course they won’t be ok, that’s the point
*The camera struggles to find Kid, but when it does he is seen lying in a pile of drums. The Unknown begins the journey down to make the cover. He jumps straight down off the stage and covers, but has to wait for a referee to make the longer journey for the count 1 – 2 – kick out. The Unknown glares at the referee and lifts Kid up. He turns towards the guardrail and positions Kid for the Last Ride onto it. Kid is lifted but he gets his feet on the rail, grabs the Unknown’s head and jumps down, slamming it into the rail! Kid on the other side makes another attempt to escape by forcing his way through the XHF fans. When the Unknown recovers he steps over the rail with a single stride, making a beeline for Kid. Kid grabs a sign from someone in the crowd besides him saying ‘Unknown Sucks’ and chucks it at him before continuing his journey.*
Mongo: Don’t worry folks, that fan will be ejected from the building as soon as possible!
*The two travel around the ramp until they get to the railing at ringside, where Kid vaults over it and positions himself on the ring apron. As the Unknown follows Kid dives at him, hitting his head and torso sending him back over the rail into the crowd again. Kid quickly covers 1 – 2 – kick out. Kid sits up, and the Unknown’s hand grabs his neck! The Unknown gets to his feet with the choke intact, and then with one arm throws Kid over the barrier. Kid gets up and climbs into the ring while the Unknown sets up a table on the outside. The Unknown gets in the ring with a chair to see that Kid has one of his own. The Unknown swings at Kid but Kid ducks and hits a chairshot on the Unknown. Hardly effected, the Unknown hits a chairshot right back. The Kid staggers; trying to stay on his feet then sees the Unknown and manages a weak chairshot. With still no effect the Unknown hits a massive chairshot on the roof of Kid’s head sending him straight to the mat. The Unknown presses his chair on the chest of Kid 1 – 2 – kick out. The Unknown tries again for the Last Ride but Kid headbutts him in the groin!*
Mongo, Bonnie, King, Ray, Joey, & Cole: God damn!
*Kid lands a right hook, and follows with a barrage of kicks to the legs, trying to get his opponent down. Kid fights the Unknown back into the ropes and the Unknown comes back with a thunderous clothesline knocking Kid down to the mat. Instead of covering the Unknown steps up onto the turnbuckle and raises his arm in the air, provoking boos from the crowd. The Kid grabs the opportunity to grab his chair and delivers a shot to the back of the Unknown’s neck. Kid then steps through the ropes and climbs the turnbuckle. He puts his head under the Unknown’s shoulder and lifts him, samoan dropping him out of the ring through the table set up on the outside!*
Cole: He went through the table!
*The two lay motionless, surrounded by a sea of chants and noise from the crowd. Kid is the first to move, and looks around him to learn his surroundings. He sees the Unknown and drapes his arm across his chest 1 – 2 – kick out! Tired and hurt, Kid escapes over the guardrail once again, this time much more slowly. The ref follows, and the Unknown sits straight up and to his feet! The cameraman follows the trio through the crowd until they reach a door leading out of the main arena. Kid enters, then the ref, then the Unknown, who locks the door behind him, preventing the cameraman from following! All that can be seen is something crashing into the door from the other side twice, then nothing as the sounds fade.*
Cole: Umm, well, we’ll try to get you people a feed as soon as one comes to us, until then, I guess we’ll move on.
Mongo: Damnit, I want to know the end!
*"I Wanna Be Bad" by Willa Ford and Royce Da' 5'9" hits and Trish Stratus appears from behind the curtain, she waves to the fans as she walks down to the ring, she climbs under the bottom and takes off her cowboy hat.*
Bonnie: The following match is scheduled for 1 fall, making her way down to the ring, the last XHF Lightweight Champion, Trish Stratus!
Mongo: Damn her, that bitch still has the title, give it back!
*"The Way I Am" hits and Chyna comes out with a bazooka. She points to the crowd and finally shots the bazooka to the left and right. She finally heads to the ring and taunts to the crowd.*
Bonnie: Now making her way to the ring, she is the 9th wonder of the world, Chyna!
Mongo: She will destroy Trish
Cole: I don’t know, Trish beat her for the Cruiserweight title
Mongo: You mean the Lightweight title
Singles Match
Trish Stratus -vs- Chyna
Cole: Trish wasn’t ready!
Joey: Then she shouldn’t have gotten in the ring
*Trish wasn’t ready and shows it as she holds her arm, which got wedged into the turnbuckle on impact. Trish tries to keep Chyna at bay by kicking at her, Chyna backs off, but laughs at the struggling Trish. Trish is finally ready and runs at Chyna, Chyna grabs her head and throws Trish! Chyna walks over to Trish, smiling an evil smirk. Trish grabs Chyna’s leg and pulls her down face first into the mat. She climbs onto Chyna’s back and begins slamming her face into the mat repeatedly. The ref runs over to break it up but is a little to late and Chyna regains control by pulling Trish off her by her hair. Chyna puts on an arm lock leaving Trish riving in pain. The ref doesn’t know what to do, but he watches as Trish squirms. At any rate, Trish is able to squirm her way to the ropes before Chyna can inflicted too much damage and the ref breaks the hold. Trish rolls out of the ring for a breather. Chyna “helps” the ref as he counts her out, Trish gets back in at 9, she needed a break. Chyna runs at Trish, Trish drops Chyna with a drop toehold. Chyna is quick to her feet, and quick to a slap. Trish slaps Chyna again, Chyna seems unaffected as she smiles at Trish.*
Cole: Look at that sick smile!
Mongo: It looks nice to me
*Trish goes for another slap but this time Chyna grabs her hand and begins to squeeze. Trish struggles to get free from the monster woman, she kicks at Chyna, screams, and kicks some more. Chyna uses Trish’s arm to pull her closer then hits Trish with a chokeslam! Chyna walks over to the turnbuckle where Trish’s hat is and puts it on.*
Ray: Look, she’s improving her appearance, maybe she’s going for a feminine look now
*Chyna parades around the fallen Trish with her hat, when she turns her back, Trish rolls her up for a pin! 1-2- Kickout. The two get up and Chyna launches Trish into the ropes. On the return Chyna gets ready to backdrop Trish but gets a reverse Stratusfaction! She rolls Chyna up for the pin, 1-2- kickout! Trish slams her fists in anger then as Chyna is getting up, Trish grabs her head and runs to, and up the turnbuckle for a flying Stratusfaction! Trish again tries a pin, 1-2- Kickout! Chyna gets to her feet, Trish comes running at her, but Chyna swivels around and locks on a dragon sleeper hold! Trish fights to stay awake as Chyna smiles and increases the pressure. The ref checks Trish, she’s out, she’s not getting up anytime soon.*
Winner: Chyna
Mongo: And Chyna wins without any outside help! In your face Cole! Now pay up
Cole: God dammit
Bonnie: Do I still have to pay my debt?
Mongo: Of course
*After the match, Chyna motions to Mongo. Mongo gets in the ring and holds Trish as Chyna puts her head between her legs and lands a pedigree on the poor Trish Stratus. Mongo pulls out a mic and begins to speak.*
Mongo: Trish, Trish, Trish, you should have known better than to mess with me, now, I believe I will be taking my title back
*Mongo grabs the XHF Lightweight title belt from Trish’s corner, and Chyna kicks her in the gut for good measure, Mongo hands Chyna the belt and returns to the commentator table leaving Trish in the middle of the ring cying*
Ray: You heartless bastard!
Mongo: I’m a hero
Joey: Yes, it takes a real man to stick up for what is right
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing, weighing in at 350 pounds, from Boston, Massachusetts, he is the current holder of the XHF U.S Championship, Rhein The Killa!
Mongo: Speaking of great men…
Ray: I don’t get you Mongo
*Goldust's music hits and the gold confetti drops and Goldust come out wearing a robe. He gets in the ring and stands on the second turnbuckle and sexually takes off his robe.*
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing the challenger, weighing in at 260 pounds, from Hollywood, California, Goldust!
King: That damn queer! I don’t know why you let him in the company
Mongo: We don’t judge, even people like Cole need a job
Golden Strap Match for the XHF United States Championship
Rhein The Killa © -Vs- Goldust
Ray: And Goldust starts off with a bang
Mongo: Ick, I hope not, it’s all dudes in there
*Goldust then stomped on Rhein, and then leg dropped him across the chest and made a quick cover, which led into a quick kick out. Goldust pounded on Rhein for a while, and then picked Rhein up and chopped him in a corner. Goldust then started sending a mudhole in Rhein’s gut and then sent his knee into Rhein’s throat. Rhein didn’t tap, which seemed to upset Goldust as he got in the referee’s face. Goldust then turned around, but Rhein pulled him down with that’s he strap and Goldust hit face first into the third turnbuckle. Rhein then had full control as he german suplexed Goldust, and when he made the bridge Goldust kicked out. Rhein then wrapped the strap around Goldust’s throat, and then threw him out of the ring and started choking him! The referee then broke the hold, which Rhein refused to do! Goldust seemed to be passed out, so Rhein broke the hold and started beating on Goldust. Rhein threw Goldust into the ring steps and then scoop slammed him on the ring steps!*
Mongo: Rhein is really ripping into Goldust!
King: Yeah, thank god!
*Rhein then went on the second step and hit a diving elbow across Goldust’s neck. Rhein then sent forearm’s in Goldust’s chest, which led into The Golden One to be in extreme pain. Rhein then picked Goldust up and set him up for a suplex, but Goldust gained control after he floated over and clotheslined Rhein down. Goldust then stood on the railing and awaited Rhein to get up. When Rhein finally did get up, Goldust flew, but Rhein caught him and powerslammed him on the padding! Rhein, almost unable to walk, picked Goldust up and went up the ramp, but as Rhein had Goldust by the head, Goldust low blowed Rhein and then backdropped Rhein on the concrete!*
The peanut gallery: A double-whammy!
*Using the strap Goldust started choking Rhein with it, but broke the hold and then picked Rhein up and hit a short arm clothesline. Now Goldust had control, and started walking up the ramp, and got up to the staging area. Goldust then went under the stage below the Xtreme-Tron, and then pulled Rhein into the metal pole, making Rhein hit head first into it! A now busted open Rhein was staggering to his feet, so Goldust then picked him up and front face suplexed him on the steel ramp! Goldust then used the strap and wrapped it around Rhein’s neck, and then applied the STF. Rhein was surely passing, as the crowd cheered on. Rhein was finally out and then Goldust finally broke the hold, and started to stomp on Rhein. Goldust then picked up Rhein by the hair, then put Rhein’s head between his legs, and then spanked Rhein’s ass!*
Joey: Now that just shouldn’t be in the match!
*Goldust then called for a piledriver, but when Goldust picked him up, Rhein reversed it and backdropped him, with Goldust hitting the light with his ankle! As Goldust screamed in pain, Rhein started working on Goldust’s ankle by stomping on it and then drove an elbow into it. Rhein then picked up Goldust and suplexed him on the concrete. Rhein then used the strap and wrapped Goldust’s ankle around it a pulled. Goldust was in serious pain, as Rhein broke the hold. Rhein and Goldust finally started to head to the ring, but Rhein had the strap wrapped around Goldust’s ankle and started dragging him into the ring! Rhein then threw Goldust into the railing and then called for the Gore. As Rhein was running though, Goldust used the strap, spun Rhein around, and Rhein hit head first into the ring steps!*
Bonnie: Ow, that looks really really painful!
*As the crowd cheered for great effort by both men, Goldust and Rhein laid on the floor of the padding, hopeless with nothing to do. Goldust then was barely to get up, but he did and threw Rhein into the ring. Goldust sent punches into Rhein’s head, and then threw him into the ropes and hit a butt slam. Goldust then made the first cover of this contest, but Rhein kicked out. As angered Goldust then picked Rhein up and went for the butt slam again, but this time Rhein caught him and full nelson slammed him into the mat! Rhein then struggled to make a cover, and when he did Goldust kicked out at two! A shocked Rhein then targeted on the ankle of Goldust, by applying an ankle lock! Goldust screamed in pain as angered Rhein tighten the hold. Goldust’s ankle was about to snap until he pulled the strap down, and Rhein tripped over Goldust’s feet. Goldust then started whipping Rhein with the strap and then locked Rhein in a camel clutch. With blood dripping down on Rhein’s face, Goldust pulled and Rhein started passing. Then Jasmine St. Claire ran down the ramp and distracted the referee. Rhein then started tapping, but the referee wasn’t looking! The ICP & Josh Lazie then ran into the ring from the crowd and assaulted Goldust, until all three members of The Impact Playerz slid into the ring and attacked!*
Cole: Oh my god! All hell has broken loose!
*After Reak dropkicked Shaggy 2 Dope, Goldust got him from behind and hit a curtain call! Referees then ran into the ring and broke up this mess, and the match continued! Goldust threw Josh Lazie out of the ring, but Rhein pulled the strap and gored Goldust! Rhein then quickly made the cover, but when the referee’s hand was going down for three Goldust kicked out! Jasmine then looked on in disbelief and then told Rhein to his the Legend Maker! Rhein then hooked Goldust’s are behind his back, but then Goldust got out of the hold and suddenly hit the Curtain Call! Jasmine St. Claire then got on the apron and argued, but then Goldust got up and pulled her in the ring! Goldust then screamed at her and then started to put on or her legs on the second rope. But when he went to put the other one, Rhein ran for a gore, but when he did Goldust moved out of the way and Rhein hit Jasmine!*
Bonnie: That poor dear!
*Rhein looked angry, but that anger went against him as Goldust school boyed him! 1-2-Kick Out! Rhein then got up quickly and kneed Goldust in the gut, and went for the backdrop, but Goldust flipped over landed on his feet and went for a clothesline, but Rhein ducked and pulled Goldust with the strap and hit the Gore! Rhein then made the cover and successfully retained his XHF U.S Title!*
Winner & Still XHF U.S Champion: Rhein The Killa
Bonnie Jenkins: The winner of this match, and still XHF U.S Champion, Rhein The Killa!
Mongo: What a Pay Per View we are having! In addition, there’s still more to come!
Cole: Hey, look up there!
*The Xtremetron shows Kid and the Unknown with their hands at each other’s throat – the match is still going on backstage! The fans pop as a door marked ‘Women’s Dressing Room’ enters the screen. The Kid spins the Unknown around and through the door knocking it down! The opponents freeze and look into the room to see not the XHF Divas but Slain standing there looking back at them with a pink bra in his hand! Slain remains surprisingly calm and utters the words “You aint seen me, right?” before making a mad dash between the two for the door. The cameraman turn to show Slain running down the corridor, with more underwear spilling out of his pants! Kid and the Unknown have puzzled looks on their faces, but then forget the event and start exchanging right hands….*
Cole: What the hell?
Bonnie: Hey! That’s my bra!
*“It's Going Down” blares through the arena and the Real Deal comes out from behind the apron with their “BDDWF” Tag Team Titles around their waists, and see threw white shirts. They both got on opposite sides of the ring and did there ‘X’ taunt.*
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing, at a combined weight of 436 pounds, the current holders of the “BDDWF” Tag Team Championships, The Real Deal!
Mongo: Ooh, the “Real Deal” what are we supposed to expect, a bunch of fake men, oh wait, that’s what they are!
*“Awake” hits and Weirdo comes out from behind the apron wearing a XHF T-shirt, and darker blue tights that he normally wears. He then stops in the middle of the ramp. A big Pyro that blasts from under the ramp interrupts “Awake”. Another pyro drains down and "Amityville" hits the P.A and The Warrior comes out from behind the pyros, with his normal attire but dark purple and in red lining. Warrior & Weirdo go to the ring and goes on to corners of it with both of his hands up in the air.*
Bonnie Jenkins: Introducing the challengers, at a combined weight of 508 pounds, Weirdo & The Warrior!
Mongo: You know, it’s only too bad that the Dark Parade is fighting them, oh well, my money is still on the Dark Parade
Joey: For once I have to disagree, I have to say that WW is gonna win this one
King: WW?
Joey: Weirdo and Warrior
*“Cold" hits and The Dark Parade come out white blue and purple lights following The Dark Parade. The Scarecrow is seen wearing a long leather jacket and silver sunglasses, and his special attire for the night, his normal tights but they are black and have Gold lettering of “The Dark Parade” all around it. The Smashed Pumpkin is seen wearing big silver sunglasses with black lenses, while wearing his normal attire but are gold tights with “Dark Parade” spelt in red, and a red top. They have their XHF Tag Team Championships around their waists. They then slide into the ring an
d go on the second turnbuckle and taunt to the crowd.*
Bonnie Jenkins: And Finally, at a combined weight of 455 pounds, the current holders of the XHF Tag Team Championship, The Dark Parade!
Cole: I can’t stand them, I just want to rip those damn sunglasses off their damn faces!
King: Got a little pent up hostility Cole?
Cole: I don’t want to talk about it
Mongo: Good, I don’t want to hear about it
Tables, Ladders, & Chairs Match for the XHF Tag Team Championship and (BDDWF) Tag Team Championship
Weirdo & The Warrior –vs- The Dark Parade (XHF Tag Team Champions) –vs- The Real Deal (“BDDWF” Tag Team Champions)
Bonnie: His face!
Mongo: Yes, that is his face
Bonnie: I meant that its gonna be a bitch to pay for his facial reconstructive surgery
Mongo: Oh SHIT! Stay away from his face!
*Charlie then set the ladder in the middle of the ring, until Warrior came in with a chair. The Dark Parade, Ryan Velez and Weirdo battled outside, as The Warrior hit the chair across Charlie’s back. The Warrior then put Charlie on his shoulders, and Warrior Bombed him to the outside! Ryan and The Pumpkin still brawled in the outside, so Warrior set the ladder near the ropes, climbed it, flew, and knocked both men down! Charlie then started getting up, but Weirdo sent a chair into his back. Weirdo then got in the ring and started to climb the ladder. The Scarecrow then got a table from the outside, and smacked Weirdo with it! The Scarecrow then set the table, and then went to the opposite side of the ladder, and then turned Weirdo around and hit a full nelson face drop through a table!*
Mongo: Oh why did I even sign this match?!
Ray: Because you’re a money-loving bastard and this kind of thing generates big numbers
Mongo: I’ve had enough of your lip tonight!
*The Real Deal got in the ring and taunted The Scarecrow to turn around, and when he did the connected with the Final Destination! Ryan then went to the outside and got another ladder, and both Real Deal members put the ladders on opposite sides of the ring. They both climbed the ladder and both flew off and connected with a Tidal Wave! Both Velez brothers set the ladders up, as The Warrior smacked The Pumpkin across the head with a broken table piece. Warrior then slid back in the ring, as Weirdo then started to get back to his feet. Weirdo then got on the opposite ladder facing Ryan, as Warrior did the same facing Charlie. Weirdo then got Ryan in a front face lock position, and front suplexed Ryan into the canvas! On the other side Warrior superplexed Charlie down! With both teams down, The Dark Parade seemed to be in victory’s way to victory! As The Pumpkin started to climb the ladder, his brother stopped him! The Pumpkin then stared at his brother with blood dripping down his face, but then he saw four tables surrounding the ring! Both Dark Parade members got the tables and set them up. The Scarecrow then set the table in the corner and put The Warrior on it. The Scarecrow then ran and speared him threw a table! The Pumpkin then set the table onto two chairs, and then got Ryan Velez. The Pumpkin then got him in the position, and hit the Smash threw a table!*
Cole: This is sick, why don’t they just climb the damn ladders and win!?
Joey: They are trying to solidify their win over their opponents
*Ryan then seemed to be aching in pain, holding his eye. Weirdo then rolled back in the ring with a ladder. Both Dark Parade members then turned around and Weirdo knocked both them down with the ladder to their faces. Charlie then got in the ring and got a chair, and when Weirdo turned around Charlie hit him with a chairshot heard around the world! As the crowd cheered in joy of this match, The Warrior clotheslined Charlie down. Ryan then tried to get back in action, as he attacked The Warrior from behind. Ryan threw The Warrior in the ring and went for a front dropkick, but The Warrior caught him and Powerbombed him on the top of the ring post!*
Mongo: With every minute my wallet is draining…
*Weirdo then ran in the ring, and then over the top leg dropped Charlie. The Pumpkin ran into the ring and went for a clothesline on the Warrior, but he ducked and flapjacked The Pumpkin to the mat. Weirdo then took the chair and then ran and jumped on the second rope, and hit an asai moonsault! Weirdo and Warrior then set the ladders up again, and then Weirdo set up another ladder. Weirdo also set up a table, and then started to climb the ladder. The Scarecrow then got up the ladder, after punching Weirdo in the back, and then got him in a front face lock position. As Warrior was climbing the ladder, Charlie got him from behind and Crucifix powerbomed him off the ladder!*
Cole: How do ya like that one Mongo?
Mongo: I think you should go to hell
*The Scarecrow then looked around, and the hit Implant DDT off the ladder threw a table! The Scarecrow then seemed to be in serious pain, as the crowd stood on their feet, cheering on these six men. The Pumpkin then got in the ring, and started throwing punches at Charlie. Charlie then kneed The Pumpkin in the gut, and then threw him into the ropes and backdropped him. Ryan, who still is holding his back, got in the ring and then stomped on The Pumpkin and set up a table. Charlie then set up the ladder and started to climb it. The Warrior then got on a nearby turnbuckle and clotheslined the ladder down; causing Charlie to crash threw the table! Ryan then immediately attacked The Warrior, but his strength was an advantage as he threw Ryan out of the ring. The Warrior then threw Ryan into the railing up the ramp. Both men then got on the top of the ramp, and started to climb the scaffold under the Xtreme-Tron!*
Mongo: Hey! That’s a multi million dollar set! I want to use it next year!
Cole: Don’t you care about those men risking their lives?
Mongo: Nah, they’ve reached the point where it’s a tax write-off
*When they both got on top of it, there was a 20-foot ladder and The Warrior set it up after he shoulder blocked Ryan. Warrior then went for a suplex off the scaffold, but Ryan reversed it and dropkicked The Warrior off the 30-foot scaffold threw a couple of tables!*
Cole: Mongo, Mongo? Are you ok?
Joey: I think he’s passed out
King: Oh my god, you killed Mongo, you bastard!
Cole: Jerry, drop it will you, Bonnie get some water
Bonnie: Will do!
Mongo: Yeah, that’s what you’re motto is, just add anything to the end, heh
King: Oh my god, Bonnie’s sexuality resurrected Mongo, this really is an Easter miracle!
*As Charlie, Weirdo & The Pumpkin looked in shock; The Scarecrow got another table and set The Warrior on it! Although both men hate each other, they wanted to see Warrior in great pain! Ryan then threw his shirt into the crowd and started to climb the 20-foot ladder! When he got on the top of the ladder, he did his ‘X’ taunt and flew off 50 feet in the air, breaking the table with The Warrior on it with a Circus Act!*
Ray: Ha ha Mongo, yes, we see you grabbing your heart
*The Scarecrow then started to climb up the ladder to go up the ramp, but when he did Ivory came down and hit him with a chair of her own! She then ran into the ring, and when Charlie was climbing the ladder she hit him also! The Dark Mistress then ran to the ring and started pounding on Ivory! The Mistress threw Ivory in the steps, and then hit Tornado DDT on her! Weirdo then started to climb the ladder, but The Mistress went on the top rope and knocked him down with a hurracanrana!*
Cole: Hey King, why don’t you get Mongo backstage, we can show him the rest after his big match
King: Awww, fine
*As The Mistress talked trash to Weirdo, when she turned around Charlie hit her with an X-Bomb! Weirdo then super kicked Charlie down, and then set the table on two already set up ladders. Weirdo then started to climb the ladder with The Pumpkin climbing the other one! When they both got on top of the ladder, they started trading punches. The Scarecrow then got two chairs and smacked Charlie with it, and Weirdo punched The Pumpkin and started to get the belts. When Weirdo looked like he was going to win the titles, The Scarecrow smacked him in the back. The Scarecrow then gave his brother the other chair, and then they both hit a double chairshot! The Dark Parade then pushed Weirdo off the set up table, threw another table! The Dark Parade then grabbed the XHF and “BDDWF” Tag Team Titles to win the match!*
Winners and still the XHF Tag Team Champions, but the new “BDDWF Tag Team Champions: The Dark Parade
Bonnie Jenkins: The winners of this match and still the XHF Tag Team Champions, but the new “BDDWF” Tag Team Champions, The Dark Parade!
Ray: I don’t think I’ve ever seen a match like that
Joey: I am never ever going to look at tag teams, tables, ladders, chairs, or scaffolding again
*The crowd roared as Weirdo, Warrior, Ryan & Charlie Velez were helped by medical attendance. The Dark Parade then got down from the ladder, and with blood dripping down from their faces, showed them off to the crowd. The crowd surprisingly cheered for The Dark Parade, as they were helped to the back with The Dark Mistress.*
Bonnie: It doesn’t matter who has the titles, all six of these men are champions
*The Xtremetron cuts to the Hardcore title match, where Kid and the Unknown are still fighting in the same set of corridors. The Unknown gets the advantage with a knee to the gut, and grabs his head. He goes to drive the Kid’s head through a door, but sees that it is the locker room of the Impact Playaz and decides against it! Kid uses the pause to escape the Unknown’s grasp and run further down the corridor. A cleaning woman has to dodge out of the way and starts yelling at Kid, but soon shuts up when the 7’11 Unknown steps through and steals her mop! The Kid runs into a dead end, and turns around into a shot on the shoulder with the mop. Kid can do nothing but take the next couple of shots, then jumps through a nearby open window. The Unknown tries to follow, but he is too big to fit. The Unknown yells in frustration as the ref shrugs his shoulders…..*
Cole: They are still going at it?!?
Joey: It looks like it, hey look more stuff!
*Nelly Angel is then seen with Destruction and Jennifer Dream.*
Nelly Angel: Michael and uh, um, where’s King? Oh well, it doesn’t mater now, I'm here with the North American Champion Destruction. Destruction how do you feel about your match with Slain tonight, infront of all your fellow New Yorkers?
*Crowd Explodes*
Destruction: Nelly, before I answer your question, I will like to say one thing. I want to wish everybody in this great city a great Easter.
*Crowd Explodes again*
Destruction: But my match with Slain will be something different. It will be when they will see Slain whine like a little bitch! Slain, I thought I was done with you, but since you had to be a little bitch and attack me in match with Rhein, you proved to the world what you really are. A Son Of A Bitch that doesn't know when to stop! Slain, I am going to put my heart and soul into this match. Blood, sweat, and tears will be coming out of me, just to win. Slain, the clock is ticking, until the Countdown of the Eve Of Destruction begins!
*Destruction and Jennifer Dream then leave as the crowd is roaring in cheers*
Cole: Is it just me, or does it look like Destruction has been working out
Joey: Only you would notice
"Charlie Big Potato" by Skunk Anansie plays from where the percussion enters to a lightless arena with only the Xtreme-Tron showing with the name Slain flickering across it. Lights ripple across the arena when the riff plays (just a few seconds in) as Slain makes his way to the ring, which is accompanied by a Raven-style crucifix pose with middle fingers up at the crowd either side of him.
Bonnie: The following match is scheduled for 1 fall, and it is for the XHF North American Championship! Introducing first, the challenger, and the man who was fondling my unmentionables, Slain!
Cole: Slain is a pervert!
Ray: He should at least ask her first like I do
*The guitar solo of "Left Behind" then hits, but it suddenly stops. The fans seem confused as a voice saying "Error, Error". The beginning of "Papercut" then is played and the crowd explodes, as little silver pyros come out from under the ramp. Destruction then comes out from behind the apron, and then threw the little pyros, with Jennifer Dream following him, pumping up the crowd. In his Xtreme-Tron video he has fast footage of his history. Jennifer Dream then gets in the ring, and then Destruction goes to the side of the ring and throws his water bottle to the crowd, not until drinking a little of it. The slow part of "Papercut" then is playing and he then spits out his water with his North American Championship in his arm, which he throws up. The crowd then goes even crazier, as he goes on all four sides of the ring, doing his arm in the air taunt with his North American Title in one of his hands.*
Bonnie: And the North American Champion, Destruction!
Joey: This man nearly lost my job! I’m just lucky that Mongo is so kind an generous to give me another chance!
(BDDWF) North American Championship Match
Slain -vs- Destruction (c)
*Slain climbs into the ring where Destruction is standing still, staring him out. Slain is fighting to continue his undefeated streak, and Destruction is fighting for the victory over Slain which he has wanted for so long but never achieved. Slain opens his arms to the side of him as the referee checks his clothing for foreign objects, eyes locked with Destruction’s at all time. They both know that the last four months have been spent building up to this match in Madison Square Garden at the biggest event of the year. The bell rings and Slain raises his hands offering for the tie-up. Destruction bursts into life, kicking Slain in the ribs then European uppercutting his face as he bends over in pain. Slain falls towards the ropes, where they are used by Destruction to choke him. Destruction grabs Slain’s arm and pulls him out into the middle of the ring. He keeps hold the hand and wrenches the arm, twisting Slain’s shoulder. He pulls on it once, and then pulls Slain towards him into a shoulder block. He repeats the move and Slain falls to his knees. Another follows, and Slain goes to ground. Destruction throws the hand down, and applies a headlock. Six punches to the head follows, and Slain drops to the mat, eyes shut. Destruction produces a pop from merely glancing up at the crowd, drops the elbow and pulls back on Slain’s leg for the cover 1 – 2 – kick out.*
Cole: How did he kick out?!?
Joey: He jolted his body enough to lift Destruction
*Destruction picks him up by the head, holds him there and strikes him in the face in with his knee. Slain tries to stay standing, and spins himself into the receiving end of an inverted facelock. His lack of stability causes him to fall out of it as Destruction goes for the reverse DDT, causing Destruction to fall to the ground as Slain lands on his knees and bounces back up. Slain takes a wild swing with his foot at Destruction, causing a gasp from the audience as he catches Destruction in the mouth. Destruction crawls to the ropes clutching his jaw, as Slain leans on the adjacent ropes trying to regain some strength. Destruction turns around on his knees and Slain grabs the opportunity to nail another kick to the face to keep his opponent down. Shots to the head follow, and this time it is Destruction who is falling to the mat. A bounce off the ropes and a leg drop by Slain, who stands immediately and starts stomping the chest of his opponent. Destruction sweeps Slain’s leg with his arm, and Slain falls next to Destruction. Destruction goes for the single leg Boston crab, but Slain gets a hand around his neck to choke and prevent him. They stay locked until the referee splits them up. The ref allowed the match to continue and the two run at each other. Wrench of the arm and a hammerlock by Slain. The hammerlock is reversed by Destruction who hooks in a crossface chickenwing. He lifts for an improvised suplex but Slain blocks with the leg and goes behind with a waistlock. He hits the reverse powerbomb and then pounces onto Destruction’s back with a side headlock. Destruction cannot be kept down and Slain is lifted until both are standing. Destruction lifts for a back suplex but Slain flips over and lands on his feet. Slain goes for a chop block on the ankle but Destruction jumps over and lands a stomp on the base of Slain’s spine. He bends over and applies a full nelson. He uses this to lift Slain first onto his feet and then into the air, pulling down on his chest to slam the back of his head into the mat 1 – 2 – kick out.*
Cole: He kicked out!
Joey: I’m not surprised
Cole: I am!
*Slain slips out of the hold while on the ground and hits a mule kick to escape. Dropkick to Destruction once both men are up but Slain is hit with a flapjack when attempting the clothesline. Destruction drops the elbow onto canvas as Slain rolls out of the way. Slain gets to his feet and runs again. Destruction ducks for the back body drop and Slain rolls over onto his feet, but Destruction still catches him with a neckbreaker!*
Ray: Did I hear a snap?
Joey: I hope to god not
*Slain is picked up and suplexed. A second attempt is met with a kick to the gut, and Slain puts Destruction’s head between his legs for the Eve of Destruction! Destruction has not been worn down enough to let himself be lifted easily though, so Slain settles for the nevertheless effective underhook rib-breaker. Destruction rolls onto his back clutching his chest as Slain turns and climbs the turnbuckle. Slain flies from the top hitting a stomp to the chest, then lands a senton and covers by pushing his hands down on the chest of Destruction 1 – 2 – a painful kick out. Slain tries a different tactic by hooking in the Texas cloverleaf, leaning back to put pressure on Destruction’s chest. They are in the center of the ring and Destruction is unable to move because of his chest, but he refuses to tap. Slain keeps the hold applied for what seems like a minute, then throws the legs down angrily and starts yelling at Destruction in frustration. Slain mounts his opponent and turns him over for some punches but Destruction beats him to it with an uppercut! Destruction stands up with one arm holding his chest, and uses the other arm to continue the attack. He manages to force Slain into the corner where his right arm becomes a blur with quick succession headshots. Destruction takes a step back and runs in with a clothesline, then a shoulder block. Slain ducks the next clothesline attempt and hits a weak headshot of his own before Destruction picks him up on his shoulder and powerslams him 1 – 2 – kick out. Slain is given time to get up and Destruction launches himself at Slain with a flying clothesline, but Slain evades the attack and goes behind. Destruction lands on his feet and Slain jumps up, locking his legs around Destruction’s neck from behind to hit a hurricanrana-type move that pulls Destruction backwards onto his head.*
Bonnie: You know, I’m starting to wonder, will anybody be able to wrestle on Gastro?
*The two roll over with the momentum and Destruction finds himself in a camel clutch! This time Destruction is able to touch the ropes with his foot and the ref breaks the hold. Destruction gets up and Slain continues the submission tactic with a katahajime. Destruction is prepared though and pulls Slain over his back. Slain lands on his feet and applies the ¾ facelock. He flips over backwards for the reverse Slayer but Destruction stumbles backwards, causing Slain to lose speed and land on his feet. Slain bounces right back up to land the conventional Slayer instead. Destruction manages to counter this by turning to face the ropes, but Slain bounces his feet off the ropes this time to hit the reverse Slayer as originally intended!*
Ray: Wait, so which one did he use?
Joey: The reverse Slayer, stupid
*Slain salutes the crowd in celebration of his own achievement and covers 1 – 2 – kick out. Seeing Destruction down, Slain climbs up onto the top turnbuckle and waits for Destruction to get up. When he does so, Slain flies off looking for the hurricanrana. He wraps the legs, but Destruction keeps hold of him. Slain drops into position for a hangman’s DDT, but he pulls himself up out of the position before Destruction can capitalize and begins to hammer on Destruction’s head with lefts and rights. This drives Destruction back into the ropes, where their combined weight is bounced back into an arching powerbomb that sends Slain bouncing off the mat out of Destruction’s grasp. Slain is sprawled, and Destruction pulls himself over to cover 1 – 2 – kick out. Destruction picks Slain up by the head and hooks his arms for the backslide, but Slain continues the rotation around and imitates the position on him. Once Destruction’s arms are hooked he is lifted onto Slain’s back. Slain begins to rotate like an airplane spin, putting pressure on the shoulders of Destruction. He builds up to his fastest speed, then twists the torso of Destruction and himself so that Destruction is facing the mat, and drops him from up high with an overhook DDT with the spin!*
Joey: Holy shit! I didn’t even know such a move existed!
*Instant cover by Slain 1 – 2- kick out! Slain gets to his feet, but dizziness leads him away from the North American champion into the corner. The two struggle to stand up. Destruction is the first, motivating Slain to start an attack prematurely, and Slain walks right into a fisherman suplex 1 – 2 – kick out! Destruction hits a spinebuster and stomps Slain into the mat. Destruction signals for the Eve of Destruction and the crowd erupts. The volume builds as Destruction hooks the left arm, the right arm, jumps….and Slain jumps with him, pulling his legs back and delivering a hurricanrana in mid-air! Destruction is down as Slain is in disbelief at how he managed to escape the loss. Slain climbs to his feet, and then to the top of the turnbuckle. Destruction sees him and makes a dash to pull the ropes, sending Slain groin-first into the turnbuckle padding. Destruction climbs for a superplex, but Slain knocks him off with a sharp shove. Slain steps up onto the top rope and hits Destruction with the flying inverted Slayer 1 – 2 – kick out!*
Joey: I don’t believe it!
*Slain can’t believe it and covers again 1 – 2 – kick out. Slain picks up Destruction and sets him up for the Eve of Destruction, but Destruction takes his legs out, and hooks in the half crab! Slain flails his arms to touch the rope but he is dragged away from them. The crowd can do nothing but boo as Slain controls his panic and drags himself slowly but surely to the ropes for the referee to break the hold. Destruction picks Slain up by the waist and hits a bridged German suplex 1 – 2 – kick out. Slain jumps for the flying forearm but Destruction ducks and hits a spear takedown 1 – 2 – kick out. Destruction is frustrated now and beats down on the neck of Slain. The referee approaches Destruction to pull him away, only to be nearly hit by Destruction. Destruction calms down realizing what he is doing and apologizes to the ref, but turns around into a superkick! Slain runs to the ropes and goes for the asai moonsault but Destruction rolls out of the way and Slain lands on his feet. He jumps onto the opposite ropes for another springboard attack, but an unexpected shot to the jaw by Destruction leaves him struggling to keep his balance. Destruction turns around and bands him over his shoulder for a powerslam off the ropes, but Slain hooks in the inverted facelock. Slain flips over Destruction from above and hits a high impact Slayer that sends Destruction flying clear over the ropes to the outside!*
Joey and Ray: Hey! You keep that Destruction inside the ring where it belongs!
*Slain opens his arms wide in celebration turns to cover and cannot find his opponent! Slain is confused and panics, unable to capitalize on his finisher, then followed the referee’s gaze to spot Destruction on the outside. Angered, he runs across the ring and back and somersault planchas himself over the top rope into Destruction! Holy shit chants consume the arena, and Slain reacts to them by suggesting another high-risk move. He sets Destruction up against the guardrail and climbs back into the ring. Slain displays his balance by executing a perfect springboard leg clothesline to the outside – only to hit the rail as Destruction avoids the attack! Slain screams, holding his knee as Destruction tries to rest. Destruction walks over to Slain and picks him up without a struggle. He hooks in the front facelock, lifts him up and hits the Countdown to Armageddon onto a helpless Slain on the outside floor!*
Joey: Hey, here comes King! Ooh watch out King!
*Destruction barely manages to get up but is able to roll in and out of the ring to break the count out. He tries to lift Slain but finds it hard to support him. He tries again and succeeds in rolling him into the ring. Destruction follows as the count out threatens again, and covers 1 – 2 – kick out! Destruction taps his elbow to the crowd and makes a rare journey up to the second rope of the turnbuckle. Slain manages to reach and pull on the bottom rope but it only causes Destruction to lose balance and not to fall. Destruction turns around for the elbow drop and finds a punch to the sternum from Slain. Slain grabs the arm of Destruction and pulls him off the turnbuckle, shortarm clotheslining him to the floor. Seeing an opportunity Slain uses his instinct to quickly jump up and hit a springboard crossbody, rolling Destruction up into the pin 1 – 2 – kick out! Slain hits a dropkick to Destruction’s face and picks him up by the arm. He holds the arm up high and lifts his leg to deliver a few quick kicks to the face, then a double dropkick. Slain runs and bounces off the ropes straight into a spinebuster by Destruction! Slain gets up and turns around into a kick to the stomach as Destruction tries for the Eve of Destruction again. Slain struggles to lift Destruction up and cannot back body drop him, but succeeds in sending him into the turnbuckle. Destruction is undeterred and hooks the arms again for an Eve of Destruction off the top! Slain panics and tries to lift Destruction up again for the back body drop again, this time from the top rope. He manages to lift the champion up, but Destruction doesn’t let go of Slain’s arms as he flips over and his weight pulls Slain’s head backwards and down into an underhook piledriver from the top! Slain’s head and neck are driven into the mat hard and Destruction collapses onto his front after the move.*
Joey: So, how’s Mongo?
King: Well they ha-
Cole: You two are missing a great match!
*As the various chants and crowd reactions ring out Destruction lays for a second, then uses his last reserves of energy and instinct to propel his body over and lay across Slain for the cover, but the referee points to Slain’s lifeless leg laying across the bottom rope! Destruction collapses again onto his back at his wasted efforts next to the immobile Slain. The two enemies lay there, until movement is seen. Slain drops his leg off of the rope, and moves his hand across onto the chest of the resting Destruction. The referee counts 1 – 2 - Destruction realizes and thrusts his shoulder into the air! Slain crawls away, holding his neck. Destruction crawls into the other direction, and they pull themselves up opposite turnbuckles. They both look up and see each other. Slain sees a tired Destruction and Destruction sees a hurt Slain. They move in on each other and exchange right hands. The fistfight goes back and forth. Destruction starts to dominate with his size and strength but Slain ducks behind and rolls him up in a schoolboy 1 – 2 – kick out! Destruction reaches up from the floor and slams Slain’s face into his knee. He gets up and tries for a neckbreaker but Slain spins around and applies the inverted facelock for the slayer, but Destruction spins around himself and takes Slain to the floor with a uranage suplex 1 – 2 – kick out. Destruction locks in a bearhug, but cannot hold Slain up for long, so he rams him into the turnbuckle, sitting him there. Destruction climbs up for his second superplex attempt, but Slain pushes his head down in between his legs. Slain bends over and hooks his arms around Destruction’s waist, but gets back body dropped! Slain flips over and lands awkwardly on his feet, stumbling backwards into Destruction. Slain steps onto the bottom rope backwards and props up both of Destruction’s arms. He lifts him up and jumps out of the turnbuckle with a Decimator, changing his arms in mid air, threading one through Destruction’s legs. Destruction lands on his head with an arm trapping his leg in a cradle 1 – 2, bridge of the pin – 3! Slain is the new North American Champion! Slain grasps for the belt being offered to him and shows it to the disapproving crowd, hardly able to stand. He turns around and Destruction pounces up to clothesline him back down and get a huge pop from the crowd! Destruction falls back to the mat and staff helps him about of the ring. They assist him back down the rampway. He looks up at the screens to see Slain laughing at him, but ignores him and continues to the back.*
Winner and new North American Champion: Slain
King: Usually, I’d make some crack, but from what I saw from that match, well, I don’t want to ruin the moment
Cole: Thank you
*On the Xtremetron the Unknown is shown marching down a corridor looking for Kid. He shoves a door open and walks outside and the Kid swings across on a rope knocking him down with a kick to the face! He drops down to cover 1 – 2 – kick out. Kid sits up in disbelief and out of nowhere comes Shock with a chair! Shock floors the challenger with a swinging chairshot to the jaw and gets one in on the champion before covering 1 –2 – kick out. He throws the chair to the ground and suplexes Kid onto the ground next to a parked car. He turns around and tries for the leg drop but Kid evades and Shock lands ass-first on the ground! Shock can do nothing but hold the base of his spine and fall onto the floor, as Kid brings the Unknown back up and chairshots him down next to Shock. The Hardcore Kid then climbs onto the roof of the car and hits the Hardcore Bomb onto both bodies! Kid hooks the champion’s leg and the ref counts 1 – 2 – 3! Kid has finally won the match!*
Winner and new Hardcore Champion: The Hardcore Kid
Ray: Well I’ll be damned, the kid pulled it off
Bonnie: The following match is scheduled for 1 fall, and it is for the Xtreme Hardcore Federation World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, the challenger weighing in at 264 lbs., Hanz!
King: I hope Mongo wipe that damn smile off his face!
*The arena is plunged into darkness, the fans sit and wait to see what Beatles song Mongo intends to drag through the mud tonight. A light appears from the entrance way, the light gets brighter as the floor opens up and a huge trapdoor rises to reveal…….. The Beastie Boys? Indeed, it’s the fabled Beastie Boys, everyone is on the edge of their seats as they start pounding out one of the coolest songs in existence, “Fight For Your Right”. In the center of the stage a white light appears from the heavens, in the center of the light, is Mongo. The fans try to fight it, but they are actually cheering for him as the lights go up and he’s still partying with the Beastie Boys, finally, he goes to the ring.*
Bonnie: Presenting, the XHF World Heavyweight Champion and the owner of the XHF, Mongo the Destroyer!
Cole: In all honesty, I’m a little torn, I like to think of myself as Mongo’s friend, but Hanz deserves this
Joey: Then be neutral
Cole: Ok
XHF World Heavyweight Championship
Mongo The Destroyer (c) -vs- Hanz
*Mongo and Hanz stare each other down, they pace, they bounce off the ropes, each one, watching the others moves. They go up to each other, they back step, and go back to pacing. They go to opposite corners, and stretch their limbs, never looking away from the other. Chyna paces outside the ring, waiting for something to happen. After a long time of doing this, Mongo goes to the center of the ring, Hanz goes as well. Mongo raises his arms, signaling for a test of strength. Hanz begins to raise his arms toward the sky when Mongo knees him in the groin!*
Ray: That damn cheat! See Cole, I can be biased enough
*Mongo wraps his arms around Hanz and delivers a belly to belly suplex, Hanz rolls when he hits the ground and runs to the ropes and flies back at Mongo with a flying back elbow. Mongo is unaffected. Mongo picks Hanz up and begins choking him, just straight choking him, no move. The ref tells Mongo to break the hold, Mongo takes a swing at him, and this gives Hanz the chance to knee Mongo’s lower extremities!*
Cole: I guess that’s payback
*Mongo doubles over in pain, Hanz takes the advantage and hits the big man with a running neckbreaker. Mongo lays face down on the ground as Hanz climbs on top of Mongo’s back, he grabs each arm and begins pulling back like a row boat! Mongo is in a lot of pain, but he relents and begins to stand up with Hanz still holding on to him. Mongo gets up and slams back into a turnbuckle. Hanz is left hanging on the corner, Mongo walks to the opposite corner and then goes running at full speed toward Hanz, but as he approaches, Hanz throws his legs up and catches Mongo’s neck with a head scissors!*
King: Damn, come on Mongo, you can do it!
*Hanz starts to stomp Mongo’s abdomen but suddenly the kicking stops as Mongo grabs Hanz’s leg and rolls him over into an ankle lock. Hanz is able to easily reach the ropes and the hold has to be broken. Hanz runs, well, limps very quickly to the ropes and comes back flying, literally, he goes for a cross body, but Mongo drops to the ground and Hanz goes right into the ref! Hanz lies on the ref like a pin, not quite yet taking in what he just did. Mongo comes up behind him, grabs his shirt and proceeds to throw him to the outside in one movement!*
Joey: Look at that strength!
*Chyna runs to attack Hanz, but Mongo slides out in front of her, he gestures for her to leave it to the two of them, she understands and keeps watch for any interference. Mongo reaches down to pick up Hanz but is met by a blow with brass knuckles! Mongo wobbles on his feet, Hanz is a little surprised, Mongo should have fallen from that, he panics and throws the knuckles at Mongo’s head, to no avail, it only seems to knock him back into reality. Mongo picks up Hanz for a military press, but Hanz slides over his back and onto the apron. Hanz jumps onto Mongo for a bulldog, but Mongo relents, Hanz swings around and the motion causes Mongo to lose him balance and end up on the wrong end of a jumping swinging DDT. The ref begins to stir, and soon he is getting up, he begins counting the two out. Hanz gets in the ring and breaks the count, he goes back out and tries to get Mongo up to go into the ring, but Mongo lays there limp. Again, Hanz breaks the count and tries to get Mongo up, for the fans in the first row, they see a smile on Mongo’s face. Hanz goes in to break the count, the ref stops, then starts again, Hanz climbs in again, and points toward the ramp, the ref turns his head and Hanz dropkicks the back of his head!*
Bonnie: That was really uncalled for!
*Hanz goes to the top rope for a splash onto Mongo, but he is caught mid-air by the throat, Hanz struggles as Mongo slams him by the neck into the turnbuckle on the outside. Mongo picks up Hanz and tosses him back into the ring, right on to the ref. Mongo then rolls into the ring himself. Hanz is already up and goes for a donkey kick. Mongo catches his feet, but Hanz uses his hands to bounce off the mat. The force makes Mongo let go and Hanz flips and lands a neck breaker on the gigantic one!*
Ray: What a move from Hanz!
*Hanz climbs on for a camel clutch, Mongo gets up and falls back onto Hanz! Mongo picks up Hanz’s foot and signals for a spinning toehold, but he is met with a boot the face from Hanz. Mongo staggers back. Hanz goes for a whip on Mongo, but Mongo counters and sends Hanz to the ropes, on the return, Hanz is met with a big boot, laying him out. Mongo looks to one side, he looks to the other, he then waves his hand up to his ear and nods.*
Cole: No, no, he wouldn’t!
*Mongo bounces off one rope, jumps over Hanz and bounces off the other, he jumps, Hanz sits up and narrowly misses Mongo’s huge leg. Mongo sits on the mat riving in pain, Hanz puts on a sleeper hold, he holds it, Mongo is getting sleepy, he holds it, Mongo fights it, he holds it, Mongo is losing control of his body. Hanz holds the sleeper on as Mongo finally stops fighting, Hanz releases the hold, Mongo is out cold, but so is the ref. Hanz goes to wake the ref, but suddenly, he too is getting sleepy, Chyna has applied a standing sleeper hold, Hanz stops fighting a little too early to satisfy Chyna and she proceeds to give him a reverse neck drop!*
Ray: What the hell is that bitch doing in the ring?
*Chyna then grabs a water bottle from a kid in the audience, runs back into the ring, and pours it on Mongo’s face, awakening him. The ref is beginning to regain some life as well, he is still down, but begins counting Hanz for the knockout. All the lights go out as the ref gets to 6.*
King: This can’t be good
*When they return, Stacy Keibler is hitting a downed Chyna with a tire iron, the ref is again out cold, and Mongo is getting a diamond cutter from Shock! Shock rolls Mongo over and puts Hanz on top of him, then decides to kick both of their heads, just for good measure. Shock and Stacy then exit the arena. In the ring lay: the referee, Mongo, and Hanz, all out cold on the mat. With everyone down, Bongo emerges form the back with a ref uniform on he runs into the ring,*
King: Look, Bongo has mercifully come in to help the referee
Cole: Why is it that I don’t believe it’s out of the goodness of his heart?
*Hanz is now getting up and without thinking, low blows Mongo’s partner in crime. Hanz realizes that he’s just earned himself a disqualification. Bongo, however, doesn’t, and instead opts for revenge, he puts the tired out Hanz in between his legs and gives him a jackknife powerbomb! Bongo begins the 10 count, for each count, he nudges Mongo to get up, as he reaches 9, he suddenly grabs his eye and begins to fumble on the ground looking for a contact!*
Ray: Oh come on! Bongo doesn’t even wear contacts!
King: Yes he does
Ray: No, I shared a hotel room with him, he doesn’t!
*The crowd begins to boo the very partial ref, but Bongo continues his search. While he is searching, keeping watch on Mongo, Hanz is able to regain his composure and slowly climb to the top rope, he then comes off with a flying knee drop to the back of Bongo’s head. Bongo is knocked out and Hanz is favoring his knee as he lies out on the mat again. Mongo is beginning to toss and turn, finally, he slowly sits himself back up, then using the ropes for leverage, he is able to stand. He sees the destruction in the ring and smiles in a half daze. As he regains his strength, he puts Hanz’s head in between his legs, he reaches under his arms, and pulls Hanz up for a outsiders edge, he holds him in the crucifix position to catch his breath. While Mongo is catching his breath, Hanz is able to use his precarious position to walk up the ropes, of sorts. He gets his feet onto the top rope, jumps over Mongo’s head, and lands a x-factor style face buster!*
Ray: What acrobatics from Hanz!
*Hanz climbs on top of Mongo as the ref awakens and pulls him self slowly toward them. After what could have been an easy 5 count, the ref is finally in position 1-2- Mongo puts his foot on the bottom rope. Hanz gets up, only to be pulled into a small package by Mongo! 1-2- the ref breaks the count sighting that Mongo was using the ropes as leverage. The two crawl to their feet as Bongo rolls out unnoticed. They stagger to opposite corners and take a breather. Hanz is the first to be ready to continue he runs at Mongo, who had been facing the audience and was just turning around, Hanz shouldered Mongo in the gut and swung up for a hurracanrana. However, Mongo foresaw it and when Hanz was up, he grabbed onto him and sent him down with a hard powerbomb!*
Cole: Mongo is coming back!
*Mongo now has his second wind back as Chyna helps Bongo to the back; he may have a concussion. Mongo stands over Hanz, he points to opposite sides of the crowd, he bounces of the ropes, as Mongo’s coming back, and Hanz bursts up and hits a massive clothesline! Mongo falls back into the ropes and bounces forward into a Fisting DDT!*
Cole: …Or not
*The crowd booms with cheers for Hanz as he takes it in. Hanz runs to the ropes and connects with a HanzenZimmer, the ref counts the pin, 1-2- Hanz pulls out! The crowd wonders why he pulled out. The ref backs Hanz into the corner and proceeds to yell at him for not finishing the match. Hanz pushes him back, but walks right into a screwdriver care of Mongo!*
Cole: Then again…
*Mongo then absolutely loses it as he pounds Hanz’s face horribly. The ref tries to stop him but he shoves the ref so hard that he falls over and is out again. Mongo circles the ring and then moves in on Hanz again, but Hanz is able to roll out of the ring to avoid him. Mongo slowly climbs the turnbuckle and jumps off it for a body splash, Hanz quickly gets up and is able to catch Mongo with a body slam!*
Cole: Damn roller coaster matches
*Hanz reaches under the ring and finds a chair, as the chair is coming down to Mongo’s head, it quickly flies back up into Hanz’s face! Mongo gets up and decks Hanz in the face as hard as he can. Hanz falls backwards to the ground, with blood oozing out of his nose. The fans are on their feet now as Mongo picks Hanz up by the hair, only to be punched in the nuts!*
Joey: …Oh, is it my turn? I mean, OUCH! GOD DAMN!
*Hanz takes advantage with another Fisting DDT to the floor! Mongo however, is able to struggle to his feet, and is met with a kick, Mongo grabs Hanz’s foot and spins him around and in his weakened state, hits a messy stunner. However, it’s enough for Mongo to get back into the ring without incident, he then rests himself in the corner. Hanz is able to recover quickly and quickly runs onto the top of the same turnbuckle that Mongo is reclining in. He grabs Mongo’s head and flips into a diamond dust on Mongo! Hanz drags Mongo to the center of the ring then proceeds to perform the HanzenZimmer off every single turnbuckle!*
Joey: My god! Disqualify that man for being an absolute bastard!
*Hanz then awakens the ref and puts his foot square onto Mongo’s chest as the ref counts 1-2- kick out! Mongo gets up and Hanz lands another fisting DDT and goes for the pin. 1-2- kick out! Again, Mongo climbs to his feet, Hanz runs at Mongo and Mongo picks up Hanz for a powerbomb pin, Hanz rolls it over so that he’s pinning Mongo! 1-2- Kickout! Hanz is beginning to lose it, as Mongo is getting up Hanz hits his head with a running dropkick! He again, goes for the pin, 1-2- kick out! Hanz gets up, enraged, but Mongo doesn’t follow, he’s spent, Hanz tries one last time as he climbs up the turnbuckle and lands a high flying HanzenZimmer! 1-2-3, Hanz gets up with both arms raised high as he is handed the Xtreme Hardcore Federation World Heavyweight Championship. He drops to his knees with tears streaming down his eyes, he cradles his title, he revels in his victory, this is his night.*
Winner and new Xtreme Hardcore Federation World Heavyweight Champion: Hanz
Cole: Hanz, beat, Mongo
Joey: But how?
King: This doesn’t make any sense
Bonnie: I’m gong to go check on him
Ray: Pfft, boo hoo, ooh, Mongo has been beaten in the ring for a one two three, lets all cry about it
King: Just shut up Ray, we don’t need this
*On the Xtremetron The Impact Playaz are shown sitting around a table in a high class New York bar, and the Hardcore Kid is seen holding up his Hardcore belt in celebration as the others see to be congratulating him. They hear some kind of disturbance and turn to see what it is, and the Unknown comes through from the other direction and takes out Freestyle and Reak with a stool and flips the table over them! Kid is alert and turns around, greeting the Unknown with a kick to the face. He then grabs the chair he was sitting on and smashes it over the Unknown’s head! The Unknown falls to the floor, and the Kid drags him into place next to the cocktail bar. To the delight of the New York public, Kid climbs the bar top for the Hardcore Bomb, but the Unknown catches him with an uppercut to the neck. As Kid bends over, the Unknown grabs him by his neck and waist, and launches him into the bottle-filled shelves behind the bar! The Unknown steps over the bar to see Kid laying on a carpet of broken glass with cuts on his face and arms. The Unknown picks Kid up and places his head between his legs. The referee tries to stop the Unknown but receives an elbow to the face, and the Unknown delivers the Last Ride onto the broken glass! The referee reluctantly counts the 1 – 2 – 3! The Unknown has won the Hardcore championship back!*
Winner and New Hardcore Champion: Unknown
Ray: Hey, look, the EMT’s have gotten his carcass out of the ring, its time for the main event!
*The arena lights go out and the fans are silent. A huge red spotlight focuses to the right of the ramp and Adema is there waiting. A few seconds later a huge explosion triggers them and the fans are on their feet. They begin to play their new single and Rage’s new theme, “The Way You Like It” as the fans are ecstatic. Rage appears from behind the curtain with Torrie and the fans continue to cheer. They may not like him, but they respect him. Rage makes his way down the ramp. He stops and looks overhead at the massive glass structure that lay before him. He grabs Torrie’s hand and escorts her into the ring where he does his usual four corners taunt, all the while flipping the fans off. When he finishes he gets in his corner and awaits Millennium.*
Bonnie: The following is a Three stages of Hell match, the first fall will be determined by first blood. The second fall will be under submission match rules, and if need be, a third fall will be decided in a greenhouse match! This is for the Xtreme Hardcore Federation Ultimate Championship. Introducing first, the challenger who has been waiting months for this, Rage!
King: I don’t know what’s bigger, this match, or Mongo’s
*Adema finishes up as the lights in the arena dim again as only blue and silver ones are left on. A huge spotlight pans down to the left of the stage to show a pianist beginning to play and the outline of a man with long dark hair ready to play. The light brightens and the man is clearly seen. It’s Ozzy Osbourne! A few seconds later the guitar riffs cut off the piano as “Get Me Through” begins. The fans never left their feet and begin to go crazy again. As Ozzy reaches the first chorus Millennium is standing with his back to the crowd on the ramp. He raises both hands above his head with the Ultimate Title. He turns to the crowd and does the Jericho-esqe spinning taunt at the top of the ramp. He walks over to Ozzy and points to him, then the crowd. He walks back to the ramp and walks halfway down. He stops and stares at Rage from the bottom of the ramp, eyes unblinking.*
Bonnie: Now making his way to the ring, the Ultimate Champion, Millennium!
*The champion makes his decent down the ramp and toward the ring. He steps through the ropes and stares at Rage. He glimpses down at his Ultimate Title, a title he’s held for the past 4 months. The people have seen and realized what he will do to keep it. He hands it to the referee who shows it to Rage. Rage never takes his eyes off Millennium. He knows what he’s here to do. Rage turns to Torrie and tells her to go to the back. She protests but he forces her. She kisses him and walks back up the ramp to the back.*
King: It’s probably best that she stays back there, maybe she can sit at Mongo’s bedside until we get there!
Three Stages of Hell Match for the (BDDWF) Ultimate Championship
1st Fall- First Blood
2nd Fall- Submission
3rd Fall (If necessary)- Triple Tier Green House Match
Millennium (c) -vs- Rage
1st Fall- First Blood
2nd Fall- Submission
3rd Fall (If necessary)- Triple Tier Green House Match
Millennium (c) -vs- Rage
*Back in the ring Rage and Millennium walk to the ring and stand toe to toe. They glare at each other as the bell rings. They continue to stare at one another. Millennium begins to talk trash and poke his finger in Rage’s chest. Rage looks down and grabs Millennium’s hand. He begins to squeeze as Millennium drops to a knee. He winces, but gets enough of a boost to kick Rage in the gut. Rage releases the grip as Millennium stands up. The First Stage of Hell is underway as Millennium begins to throw rights to Rage’s head. He backs him up against the ropes and Irish whips him back across the ring. As Rage returns Millennium catches him with a clothesline right across the throat. Rage rolls around clasping his throat as Millennium keeps the attack on. He puts the boots right to Rage’s head, trying to draw blood as quickly as possible. Rage senses this and rolls outside. He regains composure as Millennium follows him outside. He immediately returns to the attack, throwing rights and lefts to Rage, backing him against the barrier. He kicks him in the gut a few times and drapes him over the barrier. Millennium hops up on the ring apron and gets ready to fly. He bounces on the second rope and backflips off looking for a Lionsault. At the last second, Rage moves and Millennium connects with the barrier across his stomach. He falls off into the crowd in pain as Rage gets to his feet. He steps over the guardrail and immediately attacks Millennium. He picks him up to his feet and begins to throw hard jabs that back Millennium farther and farther into the crowd. Rage is now in full control as they battle their way up toward the concession areas.*
Cole: This match is already taking off!
King: I can’t he-
Ray: I swear to god, if you say “Mongo” one more time, I will run you down with my car
*They get through the entrance to the concession area with Rage in full tilt. He continues the assault on Millennium all the way up to a beer vendor. He takes 2 beers and cracks them open. He toasts the fans and Millennium and begins to drink. As he does Millennium gets a sharp kick to the gut in and Rage spits his beer out and doubles over. He takes Rage and sends him over the counter into the back area of the concession stand. Millennium climbs over and goes right back to the attack on Rage, putting the forearms right to his back. He picks him up and begins to slam is head on the counter, trying to draw blood once again. Rage blocks one of the attempts and elbows Millennium in the stomach. He quickly grabs Millennium and tries to smash his head directly through the glass pretzel heater. Millennium barely gets his hands up but manages to push the thing off the counter rather than get his head put through it.*
Bonnie: I wish we were there
Joey: Hey look, some of the fans are going to check it out!
*Millennium crawls back over the counter and to the arena floor. Rage follows, clearly having more energy. He stomps Millennium a few times then picks him up. He walks him back to the crowd as they go crazy. Rage continues to attack Millennium. He throws a wild right that is caught by Millennium, who immediately arm drags Rage, sending him rolling down the steps back toward the ring. He makes it about halfway down before fans stop him. Millennium runs down the steps and kicks Rage right in the stomach, sending him rolling down again. He gets all the way to the bottom and is lying still. Millennium gets down there to join him. He immediately stomps Rage’s head into the ground. Rage blocks a few stomps and manages to grab his foot and trip him. Both men are slow to their feet as Rage uses the barricade to hold himself up. Millennium gets up and immediately turns and runs at rage, clotheslining him over the barrier and both men are down on the mat outside the ring.*
King: I don’t know if these two will even survive the first stage!
Joey: They better, I have a lot of money riding on it that they do
Ray: Who’d you pick?
Joey: I picked that the match would end with both of them alive
Ray: Pfft, idiot
*Millennium is the first one up and he picks up Rage and rolls him back in the ring. He walks over to the announce table and picks up a steel chair and the ring bell. He throws both in the ring and slides under the bottom rope.*
King: Hey! You put those right back!
Cole: Do you really think he can hear you?
Joey: I don’t think he can hear anything
*Back in the ring now Millennium grabs the steel chair and awaits Rage to get up. Rage is up to a knee as Millennium swings and connects hard with Rage’s skull as Rage goes belly down to the mat and toward the corner. A camera angle shows Rage’s face and a cut lip, out of the referee’s vision. Rage licks his lip clean of blood and pulls himself up in the corner. Millennium drops the chair and Irish whips Rage to the far corner. He follows and connects with a clothesline. Rage staggers out of the corner as Millennium picks up the ring bell and takes a swing. Rage ducks and runs at the ropes. He springs back with a vicious Big Boot that has both men down on the canvas. The camera shows Millennium with blood streaming down his face. The referee calls for the bell and Rage wins the first fall.*
Winner of First Blood: Rage
Ray: Hey! Rage should have lost! He’s bleeding too!
King: I don’t see it
Joey: Neither do I
*Both competitors are down on the mat as the referee hands the ring bell back to the timekeeper. He rings it as the Submission Stage of Hell is underway. Rage sees Millennium lying flat and quickly locks in a figure four on Millennium. Millennium quickly fights to the ropes as Rage breaks the hold. He stands up and begins to stomp Millennium. He kicks him to the outside and begins to taunt the fans.*
Cole: Oh come on! Showboating? That’s sick, that damn sick, sadistic bastard is showboating!
*Millennium is able to get back up and grab Rage’s feet. He pulls and Rage flattens out and gets dragged underneath the ring ropes. Millennium begins to heave rights and lefts at Rage, but Rage ducks one and Millennium’s hand connects with the ring post hard. He clutches his hand as Rage now begins the assault. He begins to throw punches as Millennium is being backed up the entrance ramp. About halfway up Millennium catches a punch and drops down into an arm-bar. Though he can’t win the match on the outside, he might as well try to break some bones. He wrenches back as hard as he can on the arm until he sees a figure coming down the ramp. It’s Torrie, and she’s carrying a tire iron. Millenium releases the hold and is right up to his feet. He meets her at the top and she takes a swing. He grabs her arm and begins to twist it until she drops the tire iron. He picks it up and looks at it then at her. He readies his swing to take her head off. He comes down but is tackled by Rage and the tire iron falls off the stage. Torrie runs to the back after being released and the match is back to one on one.*
King: That looks like Mongo’s tire iron, he must be awake to give it to her!
Ray: Oh that’s it Lawler!
Cole: Hey! You stay the hell away from King you damn sub-par commentator!
Ray: What…..I-I-I’m sorry Mr. Cole
Cole: You better be!
*Rage picks Millennium up and walks him back to the ring. He rolls him underneath and lifts up the apron. He goes underneath and pulls out a table and another tire iron. He throws both inside the ring and walks over to the announce table to get a chair. He tosses that in and climbs up on the apron. He steps over the top rope with one leg to display his height, but before he can step over with the other Millennium is up and kicks the rope right into Rage’s lower extremities. He rolls off of the ropes and into the ring.*
Cole & Bonnie: OOH!
Ray & Joey: OWW
King: OHH!
*Millennium begins to stomp Rage and send him back to the outside. He doesn’t follow, but instead he sets up the table that Rage brought in. He lays the chair on top of it as Rage is crawling back in. Millennium runs back to Rage and begins to stomp his back. Rage fights his way to his feet and the two begin a slugfest. Rage connects with a right that knocks Millennium backward a few steps. He recovers and charges Rage, who lays him out with the second Big Boot of the match. Millenium goes down hard as Rage picks him up and sets him on the table. He climbs to the top turnbuckle and flips the fans off. He then flies backward and connects with a picture perfect Moonsault that sends Millennium crashing through the table and Rage on top of him. Both men are out as Rage begins to stir.*
Cole: Wow, Rage can do a moonsault, I guess I owe Mongo 5 more bucks
*Rage uses the corner turnbuckle to pull himself up. He gets to his feet and walks to Millennium. He drags him to the center of the ring. He then applies a Liontamer to Millennium, as Millennium is motionless. The referee checks Millennium by lifting his arm and dropping it. No response. He does it yet again. No response. He picks it up a final time, this time Millennium doesn’t let it fall. He holds it up and begins to fight toward the ropes. He gets there and Rage won’t break the hold. Millennium uses his hands to climb to the top rope and hang on. He then releases and tucks his head to go shooting between Rage’s legs. He ends up on his back facing Rage. Rage tries to turn him but Millennium counters by giving Rage a sharp jab to the balls. Rage releases and rolls outside as Millennium works up to his feet.*
King: That’s the second time Millennium has resorted to hitting Rag’s lower extremities
Cole: Desperate men do desperate things
Joey: And he’s desperate!
*Millennium stays in the ring and waits for Rage to come back. After several minutes Rage is still not back in the ring. Millennium walks over and sees him lying on the floor. He decides to get acrobatic. He climbs the top rope and looks at Rage. He flies off looking for an elbow drop. Rage moves at the last second, and Millennium crashes down to the floor hard. Rage laughs and picks Millennium up and throws him back in the ring. He follows back in.*
King: Lets just call that an equalizer for his sore grapefruits
*Back inside Rage is stomping a mudhole in Millennium in the corner. After countless stomps, Rage picks Millennium up and brings him to the center of the ring. He picks him up and plants him with a Tombstone. He walks over to the turnbuckle and begins to climb. He decides he better not and climbs back down. The fans begin to boo and chant “pussy! pussy!”. Rage gets pissed and fires up the turnbuckle. He flips the fans off as Millennium shoots up and charges the turnbuckle. Rage regains balance as Millennium grabs Rage’s ankles and pulls them out form under him, sending him crashing to the mat. Millennium drags him to the center of the ring and turns him over in the Liontamer. Rage tries to crawl away but it’s useless. After several agonizing minutes he has no choice but to tap.*
Winner of Submission: Millennium
Cole: Oh no, the score is tied
King: Dear lord
Bonnie: This needs to be stopped
*Both men roll out of the ring on opposite side as the ominous glass structures lowers. Three levels of pain stacked on one another. Ladders are being placed on all corners on the floor, 2 are being placed on the second tier in which several hardcore items have been placed, and a final ladder will be placed at the top. Both men look up and see the newly shined Ultimate Title being lowered from the ceiling. It stops 8 feet from the tope of tier 3. The bell rings and the match has officially started.*
Cole: What if someone fell from up there, they’d never be able to wrestle again!
*Rage and Millennium look at each other through the cell. Both standup slowly and walk toward a door on their respective sides. At the last second Millennium runs to a ladder and begins to climb. He reaches the second level in a few minutes and tries to get to the third before Rage is up to level 2. He begins to climb the ladder as Rage makes it to the second level. He runs over to Millennium and pulls his tight, causing him to land flat on his back on the glass. Millennium rolls around holding his back as Rage now tries to climb to the top.*
Cole: Why are they trying to end this so quickly Joey?
Joey: What do I look like, a match interpreter? Go ask them yourself.
Cole: Actually, haven’t you worked as a match interpreter?
Joey: Shut up and watch the match!
*Millennium has just enough reach to kick the ladder, causing Rage to teeter a little. At this feeling he quickly descends and goes back to the attack. He grabs Millennium’s head, but is met with a low blow. He drops to a knee as Millennium gets up. He Irish whips Rage toward the side of the cell. Rage almost goes over the side, but manages to halt himself. He breathes a sigh of relief and turns around to see a charging Millennium. Millennium spears Rage as both men fly off the side of the cell and go crashing through the announce table.*
Ray: Why do they always go through the table I’m at?!
*Both men are out as King is poking them both with a stick. Rage begins to startle a little, but it’s Millennium who manages to get himself back up first. He uncoordinatedly walks over to one of the floor ladders and begins to climb. The climb is very slow this time, and it takes him all of 5 minutes to get to the second level. Once there he crawls on and lays there.*
Cole: I don’t know if Millennium has what it takes to get to the top
King: Yeah, and Rage has me a little worried too
*Rage is now back on his feet and also trying to walk toward the ladder. He gets there and puts a foot on as Millennium kicks the ladder over. Rage is now pissed and runs to another. Millennium hops to his feet and runs to the other ladder as well. When he reaches it Rage picks it up and drives the top into Millennium’s face. Millennium falls down and holds his face as Rage begins to climb.*
King: When in doubt… right Joey?
Joey: Hehe, yeah
*Rage reaches the top as Millennium is up to his feet. The two begin a slugfest until Millennium throws a wild right that Rage ducks. Rage then grabs Millennium’s throat and looks to the crowd. He signals for the chokeslam and lifts Millennium up. While in the air Millennium throws sharp elbows to Rage’s head which causes him to drop him. Millennium hits the cell roof and immediately dives at Rage’s leg. Rage falls down backward and holds his leg as Millennium works back to his feet and slowly walks toward the door on tier 2.*
Cole: He’s going for the door!
*Once at the door, Millennium goes into the cell and begins to pluck weapons off of the wall. He grabs 2 steel chairs, a fire extinguisher, and a lead pipe. He emerges from the cell and grabs one of the chairs. He walks over to Rage who is up to a knee facing away from Millennium. Millennium waits for Rage to turn, and when he does he proceeds to recalibrate Rage’s skull. He gives a sickening chair shot to Rage, which sends him back down flat. He then follows up with 6 shots to Rage’s back. Millennium stands over the fallen Rage and holds the chair over his head as the fans begin to cheer.*
Cole: Oh come on! That was not right, that was sick, just finish the damn match!
*Millennium tosses the chair off the cell and walks back to the ladders. He begins a slow descent as Rage slowly gets up. Rage stumbles around but manages to make his way toward Millennium. Millennium has reached the third tier as Rage reaches the ladder. Millennium sees Rage and grabs the ladder on tier 3 and heaves it at Rage. Rage moves and the ladder goes crashing through the roof of the cell into the ring. Millennium laughs and turns back around to get the title, but can’t reach it because he just tossed the ladder. He begins to curse and gets down on his knees to pull a ladder up to him.*
Ray: Haha! He may have just sealed his fate!
*While reaching over Rage grabs Millennium’s arm and pulls
him down. He begins to punish Millennium with hard forearms to his back that have the champion in pain. Rage picks Millennium up and gives him a sharp kick to the stomach. He sets him up for the Last Ride and hoists him up. Millennium counters with punches to Rage’s skull and Rage drops to a knee. While down Rage finds the fire extinguisher. Millennium charges Rage but Rage turns around and sprays the extinguisher in Millennium’s face. Millennium stumbles around as Rage delivers the third Big Boot of the match that sends Millennium backward through the hole in the cell. He drops 20 feet and lands on his back in the ring.*
Cole: And Millennium goes crashing to the mat 20 feet below him!
King: Look at him, he looks pretty dead
*Rage looks at an unmoving Millennium and back up at the title. He spits down onto Millennium and grabs one of the ladders. He slides it onto the top of the third tier and begins to climb one of the other ladders. Millennium is now stirring in the ring and has found the ladder he hurled through the cell. He begins to set it up as Rage as reached the top of the tier. Millennium begins a slow climb toward tier 2 as Rage begins his second ladder climb toward the title. Millennium reaches the second tier as Rage unclasps the title from above.*
King: He’s got the title!
*He holds it in both hands and looks at it. He now must get back down to the floor to win the match. He shakes himself out of the daze and looks down to see Millennium ascending the ladder to the tier he is on. Millennium reaches as Rage struggles to climb down. There’s no time as Millennium pushes the ladder over with the last of his strength. He drops down as Rage and the ladder begin to fall. Rage is thrown from the ladder and drops nearly 40 feet and crashes through the Spanish announce table. The title falls within 5 feet of an unmoving, bloodied Rage. He must grab it to secure the win. Millennium knows this and drops down two tier two as quickly as he can. He walks to the edge to see Rage stirring. Millennium decides to save his title and he soars off in elbow drop form. He flies through the air and within 6 feet of Rage, Rage moves. Millennium crashes onto the wood from the announce table and the concrete floor. Rage reaches an arm over and grabs the Ultimate Title. He holds it up in the air, still lying down. The bell rings and Rage is the new Ultimate Champion!*
Winner of Tripe Tier Greenhouse and New Ultimate Champion with 2 out of 3 Falls: Rage
Cole: Rage has done it! Rage has done it! Rage ha-
Ray: Will you shut the hell up!?
*Rage is still unmoving and Millennium is out cold. “The Way You Like It” begins to play as the fans stand up and giving a standing ovation to both competitors. About 14 paramedics rush out from the back with 2 stretchers. They reach both men and begin to help them. Neither man can walk on his own. Both are wearing the crimson masks, and both have gained a new respect from the fans, and a new respect for each other. Millennium is wheeled out first and placed into an ambulance. Rage is on his way up the aisle and the fans are still applauding. He holds up the Ultimate Title that he’s worked for, for 7 months as the first ever Night of Champions comes to an end.*