Post by The King on Feb 17, 2018 20:34:29 GMT -5
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ANONYMOUS TV::..
05/02/18::..
So here I am, humiliated, battered, bruised. Synn fucked me up hard man, a tooth of mine is dislodged, my jaw's a bit wonky, but it's nothing the doctor can't fix up in a day or few. I look down at my welting body and sigh, I did all I could, but the power and brutality of Synn's offence was just too much for me to handle. Though I guess I won't dwell on the loss for too long, I mean, I showed a good standing for a kid who's greener than grass on a summer's meadow, but deep down inside, I know there was so much more I could have done.
Heyo! Good showing out there!
I clench my face.
Oh fuck off ya cunt.
It definitely wasn't the response that the crew member wanted, but it was the one he got alright. I mean, I need to keep my persona up somehow, if I'm to impress Bobby and the Icons that is. He looks at me, his face rather shocked and sad, and he mutters a little "ok" under his breath, before walking away, his hands in the air as if I'm holding him at a gunpoint. I smirk at my own wit, which ironically consists of being an absolute twat, and pull out my phone. I click the home icon and instantly a message from Barratt pops up.
11:48 / Sent by Iphone
I like what you're doing kid, keep it up.
I nod my head in approval, seems like I've impressed him. Heck, maybe it wasn't as bad as I've made it out to be.
11:49 / Sent by Iphone
I'm not impressed, but I see the room for improvement, and that's always a good sign.
Oh, well, I spoke too soon I guess. But now I'm confused. He liked what I was doing, and yet he wasn't impressed? Hmm, not entirely sure what that means, but I'll take it never the less. I decide to open up my twitter feed, and I'm piled with hundreds of tweets aimed directly at my loss, I reply back to some.
Retweet
Fuck off ya fat hobbit.
Retweet
You're a failed abortion whose birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory.
Retweet
Shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is.
Pleased with the results, I put my phone away and sit down on one of the steel chairs. I hope they put me up against an easy opponent next time.
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PRESS CONFERENCE::..
11/02/18::..
I'M FACING THE ANOMOLY?! THE AXW CHAMPION?! What the fuck dude!
My face becomes red with pleasure and fright, I'm not sure how to react, on the one hand I get a crack at the AXW Champion himself, but on the other I'm absolutely dreading it. If I thought Synn was a hard fight, Anomoly will be even harder. That dude moves quicker than your dad's pull out-game! The crew member who told me the news, oh and by the way, it's the same crew member from a few days ago, begins to back away, his hands in the air like he's at gunpoint once again. This time I hear him mutter "sorry" under his breath as he slowly tiptoes away in fright.
Ah shit, I gotta tell Bobby.
I open my phone and it vibrates straight away, at first I believe it to be a message, but I soon realize that my phone has ran out of power. Shit, how am I gonna tell Bobby the big news now? I guess it'll have to wait, I got another press conference to go ruin. The spray canisters are in my bag, let's just get 'em ou-
Management don't want you here, not after the stunt you pulled last week.
Wait, hold up. I'm being thrown out of an important AXW press conference? But, I- I'm Brad Swann. The Icon's Protege! How dare they! I mean, it's understandable considering I caked the walls in black "Icons" letters, but still! They can't kick me out. The security dude motions for the door behind me, I plead with him to just let me back in. He shakes his head and forces me outside. So here I stand, in the freezing, fucking, cold. The wind of England's winter blows ferociously upon my three piece suit. My phones dead. I got no-where to go. The door slams.
Hey security man!
I shout through the door, hoping he can hear me.
You're like STDs, nobody wants you, everyone hates you and it proves your parents should have used protection.
I laugh at my comedic insult and then instantly regret it, there's no way he's letting me back in now. Fuck. I need to get in somehow, I promised Bobby I'd spray up the press conference again, he'll be watching! I can't let him down for fucks sake. Then it hits me, I need to buy a disguise, pretend to be a reporter, go in through the journalist section and takeover from there. Fucking hell, Brad, you're a genius, I think to myself ever so egotistically.
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AUNTIE JOY'S FANCY DRESS SHOP::..
11/02/18::..
I want the best fucking beard you have!
The old lady, who I presume is Auntie Joy, looks at me in horror. A young man swearing, she must be having a fucking heart attack. Well, with her old age it seems just the slight bit of breeze would stir her into cardiac arrest. But never-the-less she heads to the back of the store and grabs a shiny black beard, I survey it with a big grin on my face, no-ones gonna have a fucking clue!
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Get the fuck out.
Ah shit, well that didn't go too well did it? The security dude's also guarding the entrance for reporters and journalists now, what a bastard. You know what, I- I give up. There's no way I'm getting in without having my teeth shoved so far down my throat that I have to shove a toothbrush up my ass to clean 'em. Bobby's gonna be so disappointed, it's unreal. Until I stop, I think, 'what would Bobby do in this situation?'. Then it hits me again. The best fucking idea ever. I get a helicopter, fly on over the press conference, drop a ladder, climb down, and spray paint the entire fucking place up! I'd be like Action Man, but if he was 5'11 and had a bigger dick.
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HELICOPTER RENTALS::..
11/02/18::..
Ahahahahhaa. No.
For fucks sake, nothing's going my way today. The middle aged man brushes away my request in an instance, it's too risky he says, especially considering there's no landing pad on the building. I explain to him that I want a ladder to come down and for me to clamber down it, but he shot that down straight away aswell, something to do with those bullshit health and safety precautions. Fucking dickhead. Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it. What if I were to steal the helicopter? Hmmm, that's not such a bad idea.
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What the hell were you thinking, son?! 'Imma have to call the police!
Shit, shit, fuckedy, fuck. I'm fuckkeedddd, my career's gonna be over in an instance! Shitttt, what do I say?! What do I do?! Ah, uhh. Fuck it.
It's just a prank bro!
I smile in the most cringe-educing way possible. He shakes his head and I look around at the Helicopter Rental place, stupid bastard doesn't have any CCTV! He begins to pick up the phone, and there, in the instant of worry, I punch myself in the nose, breaking it in two.
Ahhhhhh fuck! What the fuck dude! Why you go break my nose like that?
Wait what? I didn't break your fucking nose!
Ohhh nooo, looks like when the police come, I may have to report you for assault!
Oh fuck you dude! You know what, I won't call the police, but you're banned you hear me?! Banned! Now get the fuck out, you weirdo.
I run out of the shop as fast as I can, I can't believe my luck, it actually worked! I peg it down the street, trying my best to cover the broken nose and stop the nose bleed. It fucking hurts, you know. But, I guess it was worth it.
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HELICOPTER RENTALS::..
15/02/18::..
You broke your nose? How ya gonna be on top of your game when you face Anomoly in a few days, kid?
I'm on a Skype call with Bobby, this has been the first time I've been able to properly talk to him since the incident. I've just explained the story, and why I wasn't at the conference, turns out he wasn't too bothered, mainly 'cause he was too busy to watch it in the first place. He thinks I'm a right lunatic, but I guess I kinda impressed him with my story. That's always good, I guess. He's not too happy with the broken nose though, he wants me to be in perfect condition for when I face the Anomoly.
Ah it'll be fine, I've been training all week, I've got this.
I expect as much, you defeat him. You head onto bigger and better things, heck, you'll even earn a shot at the title itself. Now wouldn't that be a sight? I'd be the top champion in the network, and you'd be just below me.
Yea, aha, that's great.
Anyways, I gotta go, got some helicopter business to go sort out. We'll speak soon. Best of luck for your match, you'll need it.
The Skype call is cut off as I'm left with the camera back on my ugly mut, damn, maybe there was some other solution I could have done other than breaking my fucking nose. Never-the-less, hopefully it won't be noticeable by the time Anonymous TV rolls around. Shit, Anomoly could use it as an offence! Wait no he won't, the only offence he has is when he's trying to make a move on his mother. Ahaha, I'm so funny. Ya know, if this wrestling thing doesn't work out, I reckon I could be a comedian. Nah what am I kiddin', I'll be AXW Champion in no time.
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HELICOPTER RENTALS::..
11/02/18::..
Ahahahahhaa. No.
For fucks sake, nothing's going my way today. The middle aged man brushes away my request in an instance, it's too risky he says, especially considering there's no landing pad on the building. I explain to him that I want a ladder to come down and for me to clamber down it, but he shot that down straight away aswell, something to do with those bullshit health and safety precautions. Fucking dickhead. Man, your hairline is so far back, archaeologists couldn't find it. What if I were to steal the helicopter? Hmmm, that's not such a bad idea.
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What the hell were you thinking, son?! 'Imma have to call the police!
Shit, shit, fuckedy, fuck. I'm fuckkeedddd, my career's gonna be over in an instance! Shitttt, what do I say?! What do I do?! Ah, uhh. Fuck it.
It's just a prank bro!
I smile in the most cringe-educing way possible. He shakes his head and I look around at the Helicopter Rental place, stupid bastard doesn't have any CCTV! He begins to pick up the phone, and there, in the instant of worry, I punch myself in the nose, breaking it in two.
Ahhhhhh fuck! What the fuck dude! Why you go break my nose like that?
Wait what? I didn't break your fucking nose!
Ohhh nooo, looks like when the police come, I may have to report you for assault!
Oh fuck you dude! You know what, I won't call the police, but you're banned you hear me?! Banned! Now get the fuck out, you weirdo.
I run out of the shop as fast as I can, I can't believe my luck, it actually worked! I peg it down the street, trying my best to cover the broken nose and stop the nose bleed. It fucking hurts, you know. But, I guess it was worth it.
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HELICOPTER RENTALS::..
15/02/18::..
You broke your nose? How ya gonna be on top of your game when you face Anomoly in a few days, kid?
I'm on a Skype call with Bobby, this has been the first time I've been able to properly talk to him since the incident. I've just explained the story, and why I wasn't at the conference, turns out he wasn't too bothered, mainly 'cause he was too busy to watch it in the first place. He thinks I'm a right lunatic, but I guess I kinda impressed him with my story. That's always good, I guess. He's not too happy with the broken nose though, he wants me to be in perfect condition for when I face the Anomoly.
Ah it'll be fine, I've been training all week, I've got this.
I expect as much, you defeat him. You head onto bigger and better things, heck, you'll even earn a shot at the title itself. Now wouldn't that be a sight? I'd be the top champion in the network, and you'd be just below me.
Yea, aha, that's great.
Anyways, I gotta go, got some helicopter business to go sort out. We'll speak soon. Best of luck for your match, you'll need it.
The Skype call is cut off as I'm left with the camera back on my ugly mut, damn, maybe there was some other solution I could have done other than breaking my fucking nose. Never-the-less, hopefully it won't be noticeable by the time Anonymous TV rolls around. Shit, Anomoly could use it as an offence! Wait no he won't, the only offence he has is when he's trying to make a move on his mother. Ahaha, I'm so funny. Ya know, if this wrestling thing doesn't work out, I reckon I could be a comedian. Nah what am I kiddin', I'll be AXW Champion in no time.
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