SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
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Post by SWAT Team on Mar 8, 2019 23:54:03 GMT -5
[More Human Than Human by White Zombie plays over the PA. Out comes The Punisher Dan Stein, dressed in his trademark black trenchcoat with a black tuxedo shirt and white tie underneath. The crowd boos his entrance to the stage. Stein growls.] DS: Shut up and stop clapping, you sheep here at this so-called award show
[The crowd boos louder. Stein, breaking character, smiles.] DS: Good to see I am still hated.
Fat man: Thank you for saying what needed to be said! ITS STILL REAL TO ME, DAMMIT!!
[Security ushers the man away quickly as the confused crowd looks on.]
DS: Uhh, yeah. Please let me introduce to you, my other half, with whom I will be presenting this award to you this evening
[Out comes none other than the former SWAT president Domino, the sexiest woman to have ever stepped foot into a squared circle in the history of professional wrestling. Yep, shes that hot. Shes wearing a gown so sheer that there isnt much left to the imagination. A man faints in the 3rd row. She stands next to Stein. They both smile.]
DS: Putting aside character for a moment if I may, I would like to present this award to the person behind the scenes whose dedication and hard work has made SWAT the great federation it is today. There are many people here who work hard and contribute to make SWAT what it is, and while there are many who are certainly deserving of this award, this person really stood out.
[Stein pauses, as the crying fat guy is still being dragged away.]
DS: Looking at 2005, a lot has happened in SWAT, and in particular one man has bore the brunt of misery with Legion X and their hostile takeover. Ironically, that one man was responsible for a lot of it. He was a veritable one-man army behind the scenes- he booked the shows, he wrote many of the matches, he was the creative force behind many of todays angles. In 2005, he was the glue that held this wonderful mess together. Ladies and gentlemen, I am honored to present to you, the 2005 inductee to the SWAT Hall of Fame
[Domino leans into the mic.]
DOM: PAUL SOUTTER!! YAY!!!
Rip it up by 28 Days hits and Soutter makes his way to the ring Domino giving him a kiss on the check, Stein nodding his head to him as he and Suit eyeball each other.
Soutter : Thanks Dan ... thanks Dom. This means a lot coming from you. You may of joined the enemy but i guess you did what you thought you had to do. Just like i'm gonna have to do what i think has to be done.
But thats a story for another time. Tonights about the SWATTIES ... and i got to tell you all this is a big honour to me.
At first i thought about not accepting this award, you know the whole being on the Hall of Fame of your own fed thing. But this isn't just "my" fed. This is "all of ours".
We are in every sense of the word a team, and thats what makes this such a great place to be. Thats why i and each and everyone of you bust our asses around here. Some in different ways to others ... hey Shocker.
But most of all, this award means a lot to me because it was voted on by my peers. You guys out there. And with that knowledge how could i do anything else but accept it and thank you all!
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SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
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Post by SWAT Team on Mar 8, 2019 23:54:24 GMT -5
Down with the Sickness by Disturbed hits as a spectacle of fireworks, flames, smoke and flashing lights awes the present public. The handsome president of SWAT walks out waving his arm and with a hypocrite smile on his face. As usual, he gets a mixed reaction from the fans in the back rows and from the invited superstars and staff on the front ones. Dracon approaches the mic and waits for the noise to settle down a bit.
Dracon: Thank you, thank you. Thanks to the ones that cheer for me because those are the only ones that can see reality and appreciate the invaluable significance that my figure embraces here in SWAT, not only because of my global popularity, controversial but exciting life, among so many, many, many other overwhelming attributes that I have, but because simply put, I am the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be.
The public responds with loud boos and Dracon looks like hes enjoying it.
Dracon: Enough of your lousy mouths. Shut the hell up and listen to me, you monkeys! Im here to present the Match of the Year Award. Matches are the cornerstone of our business. They put the sports in sports-entertainment. Without them, we would be men and women playing roles in a common soap opera that only grannies would be watching on their TVs. Inside the ring, MY superstars sweat and bleed to entertain humans and monkeys through out the face of this planet and Id be damned if I allow such a sacrifice to be ignored and disrespected. It must be thanked how it deserves to be. So, without further adew
Dracon reaches inside a pocket of his Banana Republic jacket and takes out an envelope with a sacred seal
nah, just an envelope, no seal.
Dracon: And the Match of the Year Award goes to
Soutter versus Triple B!!!
A highlight package of the epic encounter between the two at the Overtaken PPV play's on the SWAT Tron.
The Headless Children by W.A.S.P. drones in over the airwaves as the black-lights and smoke signal the arrival of the menacing assassin, the Dark Poet. Through the curtains stalks the tall, dark form of Triple B.
He arrives at the podium and stands a still as a corpse until his music fades.
Rip it Up by 28 Days fills the auditorium and the crowd cheers Paul Soutter who trots down to the podium. He slaps some hands and waves to his fans, but he stops and stares unmoving at the cold stare of his nemesis. Soutter enters the ring, keeping his guard, wary of deceit.
Dracon smiles wickedly. Soutter walks up, watching for a trap.
Dracon: Relax fat-man, Im here to present an award, not beat your ass again. You two put on a hell of a match, and you both deserve congratulations.
Dracon holds up the two trophies and presents them to Bill and Paul. Soutter turns to Triple B and extends a hand. Bill looks at the outstretched hand for a moment before reaching out to meet the handshake.
Soutter: Good match, man. Next time, the ending will be just a little different.
Bill nods his head as his only answer. Soutter turns to leave but Bill holds fast to Pauls hand, bringing himself nose to nose with The Suit.
Big Bad Bill: Next time well place the award in your casket.
Paul smiles and nods his head, accepting the unspoken challenge. The Headless Children plays and Triple B walks down the aisle and into the shadows.
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SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
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Post by SWAT Team on Mar 8, 2019 23:54:49 GMT -5
We see Billy Cash, Springfield Commissioner at the podium.
Billy Cash : It is my job tonight to award promo of the year. The promo's are the heart and sole of the efed world and are the tolls the wrestlers use to get themselves over to you guys.
They all put a lot of a hard work into portraying there messages across to you the fans, in many many different ways ..... and the winner for the promo of the year
.the MICROSHOCKER
for the his debut I WANT YOUR ANUS SKIN CODING promo
(The superstars make weird faces and spit on the floor as a stir is created in the presentation hall. Elegant music from the days of the renaissance is played in the back. Out walks the most controversial man in the history of professional wrestling, looking extremely graceful in his silver custom-made suit. The stir comes to a halt as the attendees see the Microshockers graceful look on this particular day. The presentor hands him the award. The Microshocker grabs it and steps towards the mic.)
Microshocker: Thank you for everyone who voted for me. (cheers for the shock)This award guarantees my superiority over you all and your stupid promoing skills! YOU ALL FUCKING SUCK!
(Huge stir, many jeers)
Microshocker: I swear my grandma could promo much better than most of you, especially you Rated-X ripoffs, cough cough Syberus cough cough and ofcourse you piece of crap newbies
Syberus or whatever the fuck your name is and especially you dickwads who bore these poor fans with your pointless promos, especially this guy by the name of Syberus.
(Everyone looks at Syberus. He hides in shame and shock.)
Microshocker: If there is anyone who has any potential in this business, its Dew. Id love to have the kid under my wings, but the thing is my current 3-way relationship with Soutter and Hunglestein wont permit me any sort of time.
(Hunglestein looks in Shock. Soutter shys.)
Microshocker: But anyways, I am just joking about you guys sucking. You guys dont suck. Infact, most of you are better than me. The only difference between me and you guys is
SIMPLE
I cummed on the guy who was counting these things
he got blinded
and I changed the whole count. HAHA! GENIUS!
(Many superstars get up in anger, they start throwing steak and chicken pieces on to the stage. The Microshocker turns his back towards them. We soon realize that his pants are cut out in such a way that his ass cheeks are fully revealed. He bends and shakes his ass as the superstars aim food towards his ass.)
THE END
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SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
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Post by SWAT Team on Mar 8, 2019 23:55:04 GMT -5
The camera shows a video package on the big screen as all the wrestlers are looking up. Messiah is shown standing before the cross which still has Jen Hunglestein tied up. Messiah pulls out a butterfly knife and runs it down the side of her arm slowly as to tease cutting her but never does.
Messiah: And now it's time, just when each and every one of you thought I couldn't sink any lower. Welcome to the biggest shock of 2006. Bobby all you had to do was show up to the Rockies man. All you had to do was give me what I wanted. You took everything from me. You took my chance to shine, my main event status, you took it all away. And now I have no choice but to take everything away from you.
Messiah reaches over to the side and grabs a gallon of gasoline and pulls out a silver bic lighter. The screams from Jen Hunglestein grow louder and more muffled as messiah dumps the gasoline all around the cross in a big circle and splashes a little bit on her legs in the process. Messiah slices his left arm open with the knife and looks up towards Jen with a sickening smile of appreciation.
Messiah: It's time now for the ultimate punishment. I told the wrestling world that Id get revenge and Id get everyones notice. Nobody can save you now, it's just you and me and this camera. Tonight in front of the wrestling world and god and Lucifer as my witnesses I shall go down as the sickest individual in the business today.
Messiah turns around and looks deep into the camera.
Messiah: This is for each and everyone of you who doubted me, who shunned me, who spit on me and who kicked me when I was down. The sacrifice of this woman and the blood that falls is on your hands. So when you look at Robert in the locker rooms, and you face him in the ring, you see him at the airport, I hope you all can look him in the eyes and see his pain and despair. And know that it's the fault of each and every one of you.
It's not my problem, I didn't want to do this, but you all made me do this. Your laughing at me, your mind games, your holding me back, the mocking of me behind my back, it's all because of you guys. Soutter you did this to me, Dracon you did this to me especially. You kept trying to tell me who I was and I dont know who I am, I never did. So as you guys sit back and sip on your champagne and accept your precious awards, I hope you feel the pain that this woman is going through at this very moment.
Messiah wipes left arm with his right hand and smears the blood on Jen Hunglesteins pant legs and looks up with a sinister grin. As he lights the near by torch, he stops and looks up at Jen and shakes his head. Messiah flings the lighter across the room and drops down to his knees and begins to untie Jen.
Messiah: Shut up Jen, don't ask me why Im doing this.
Messiah finishes untying all the ropes and lets Jen down off of the cross. As Messiah hangs his head low, he looks up to see Jen just standing there staring at him.
Messiah: GET OUT OF HERE NOW! THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS RUN AND DON'T LOOK BACK, LEAVE NOW BEFORE I CHANGE MY MIND!
Messiah turns around and bumps into the torch causing it to fall down and light the circle of gasoline up as the camera goes out. The screen goes blank, and the camera cuts to a shot of RHIII sitting in total disbelief.
RHIII: (Stands up and begins to walk to Paul Soutter
) Where is she?
Soutter: Seriously now, I had no ide
.
RHIII: WHERE THE FUCK IS SHE~!!! I know you have something to do with this you God damned piece of shit.
Soutter: Listen, I dont like you and I dont claim to. Facts are if you cant keep your wife safe those are your issues. But I have nothing to do with it.
Hunglestein whips around and flips the nearest table to him. Glasses and plates fly, as do the wrestlers and their guests that were occupying the table.
RHIII: IF I FIND OUT EVEN ONE OF YOU BASTARDS KNEW SO HELP ME GOD.
Attempting to regain his composure a bit, RHIII is literally a maroon shade of red. And seems to be having such a fit he cant stop himself from shaking.
RHIII: Hes a dead man
And if any of you are in this with him, then plan your funeral now.
Hunglestein begins to head for the exit, presumably to look for his wife. And Messiah
Out of the corner of his eye, he catches glimpse of Dan Stein at the Legion X table. Steins having a nice snicker at the whole thing.
RHIII: (Yelling across the room at Stein) Funny stuff huh Danny?
Stein: I sure think so.
Before anyone at the Legion X table can even realize Hunglestein has a running start and lariats Stein right out of his seat.
RHIII: (Looking down on Stein) Yeah, real funny
The other members of Legion X jump up to Steins defense, but by this time Hunglesteins temper has totally erupted. Hes at a boiling point, Dracon noticing this puts his arms in front of the other members signaling for them to keep back.
RHIII: Any days a better choice than today boys.
Dracon nods and looks toward the door, Hunglestein turns and exits to begin the search for his wife. And more importantly Messiah.
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SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
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Post by SWAT Team on Mar 8, 2019 23:55:22 GMT -5
Frank Salazar : And now put your hands together for the presenter of tonight's SWAT Wrestler of the Year Award; The SWAT World Death Match Champion...Reverend Cornelius Marsh.
[The Blessed B The Lord Choir comes out shaking their tambourines as Reverend Cornelius Marsh walks out through the applauding audience. He sees a little old lady]
Reverend Cornelius Marsh: Hallelujah, what's your name, mam?
Edith: Edith.
Reverend Cornelius Marsh: Edith. Why that's my mother's name, Edith. Hallelujah.
Audience: Hallelujah!
Reverend Cornelius Marsh: Now Edith, what pains you?
Edith: Nothing. I came to see the SWATies. I like that Mummy person. He reminds me of when me and my sister would go to the picture show. Back then it cost a nickel, which was pretty hard to come by in the depression. So we would pull Mrs. Tabernackle's weeds for a nickel a piece, which as I said was enough for a picture show, two popcorns...
Reverend Cornelius Marsh: I see, so you're suffering from senility. What a tragedy. Let me see what I can do. (Grabs her head) Wop Bata Loo Op, a Wop Bam Boom!
[He piefaces Edith to the ground, she grabs the tablecloth on her way down, breaking all the glasses and dishes]
Reverend Cornelius Marsh: No, extra charge, Edie!
[The Blessed B Choir starts up again and Cornelius Marsh climbs up on stage. He keeps teasing walking up to the podium, then goes back to dancing. After a few glorious moments, he walks back to the podium]
Reverend Cornelius Marsh: The Lord has asked me to present tonight's top honor. The Reverend Cornelius Marsh Honorary Wrestler of the Year Award. I am proud to bring this honor to you people. The nominees were vast this year, but only one man elected to not only vote for himself, but show up tonight. Ladies and Gentleman, may I present to you...(rips open the envelope) "The Mummy Commando" Genity Howard!
***
HOOOAGH!~ Genity lurched forward, spewing his cup of tea across the table as Cataclysmic Clash rang out. His eyes shot towards the stage, wide with disbelief. He stood up, a bit confused yet embarrassed by the applause.
N-n-no way
He muttered, unable to wrap his head around it. What the hell happened? Had the votes been counted wrong? No
think man, think. If they were, Dracon would never let it stand. His mind was a mix of emotions as he stumbled up to the front, pausing only to assist the fallen senior citizen.
The mummy gleefully shook hands with the good Reverend, his beaming grin slowly mutating into a soul-piercing glare, his handshake clenching like a vice. He licked his lips. Its official. The stench of pure
100%... undeniable evil expels itself from within you.
He raised an eyebrow questioningly, You fancy yourself a man of God, do you? Sad, deluded fool. I hope that someday were blessed with the chance to meet in the ring. Strictly for fun, of course. His words took on a venomous tone, the disturbed grin on his face eliminating any faint hope of good will.
Coughing a bit, he patted down his nice, spiffy coat and tie, the total package reminding one of using a 500$ gift box to house a 3$ beat-up Taiwanese knockoff toy. He stepped to the podium.
Ah
The words refused to come out. The bad-ass mummy looked petrified. Oh, come on! How the hell can I get stage fright! Say something! SAY ANYTHING!~
HOWDY! He shouted way too loudly, creating a screeching effect from the speakers. Uh
hey everybody.
The crowd was silent as he fumbled through what one assumed was an opening monologue. So
eh heh
how about that
low pressure system? Pretty keen, eh?
WHAT THE HELL AM I TALKING ABOUT!?
I dont know
Dear God help me, what the fuck am I doing up here?
Damnit, I'm blowing it
Genitys face cracked as he slumped onto the podium, resting the mic between his hands. Alright, look. Im not much for words, so Ill speak honestly and plainly.
Thank you. To everyone whos ever supported me, to everyone of you out there tonight who believe in the dream and fight today
so that tomorrow we may live in peace. Mr. Adrian Tanner, Mr. Panic, Mr Collyer
Mr Soutter, to name but a few
to every person watching this who gives a damn about their fellow human being
thank you for believing.
His posture stiffened as he gripped the speakstick tightly, his voice wavering. And I also want to thank those of you who have given me inspiration. Those who immediately come to mind are
He twitched. Our beloved president, Dracon Xanathos
His voice cracked, the hate boiling over. A greedy scumfuck known as Sly Fondell, the misogynistic pigs known as the House of Pain, Stan 'The Tank, The Icon, Whatever the fuck moniker he'll come up with to try to get himself just a modicum of respect' Wilson, Triple B, Dan Stein, the numerous backstabbing coward that have infiltrated my holy land. I thank you, for you see, there are some days when I want to give up and take the easy route. Such as
Genity leaned over the podium, shooting daggers in the direction of Sly Fondell. Such as days where Ive been nearly killed. Broken, beaten, and set ablaze. And I ask myself Is it worth it, to go through all of this? Surely someone else can do it.
His sneer spread itself across his face, seemingly extending to infinity. And just as soon as those words pass my lips, you vile miscreants have to go and push me that extra step. You have proven that there is no depth to how low evil can go. And for every atrocity that you commit, your actions fuel the fire of my soul, pushing me on to take retribution for the only place I can feel at home.
Genity grasped the podium with trembling hands, shaking it while he screamed. YOU ARE TRYING TO RUIN THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING IN THE WORLD! This fed can do so much for people
it can help so many. And by God, as I swear as the ugliest thing in the world, I will never let you destroy it. Go ahead, try and kill me! Im already dead! Im as dead as your souls! You can destroy the body, but not the spirit! The spirit can not
will not perish!
I came into this fed as a reject. No one gave a damn about Genity Howard. I was just some crazy nut with a religious fixation. But- Genity jumped atop the podium, pointing at the Big Bad Bustling Bandit himself. But this man right here gave me the chance to become something! To become a hero to stand against the tide of villainy! And in the scope of a year, Ive turned from sideshow freak to
to Australian Heavyweight Champion.
Genity stepped back, landing softly. And now
Ive somehow been graced with being the Wrestler of the Year.
He fell silent, overcome with emotion.
D-d-damn it, Im going to make this count! I will make this mean something! For everyone who decided I was more then just some burnt-up, cut-up, washed-up psycho, I will make this worth your favor! This is not just a title, but an incentive that stokes the flame within my being. I am going to earn your decree of Wrestler of the Year. As a competitor, as a champion
and as a hero.
With that, he stepped offstage as we fade to
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SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
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Post by SWAT Team on Mar 8, 2019 23:55:44 GMT -5
(The Main Ingredient steps up to the podium)
TMI: Our next award is for the best interview segment of 2005. Let's not waste any time going over the nominees, lets just get down to the winner.
(He opens the envelope)
TMI: And the SWATTIE goes to... ME, The Main Ingredient, for The BSE, The Best Segment Ever! This award is just the start of my success in 2006! I will not stop until I have gold around my envied waist! As for all the people Id like to thank, first Id like to thank The Mortally Mean Minister Charles for showing me that pro wrestling fans are nothing more than mindless idiots who thrive on other peoples humiliation. Secondly, Id like to thank myself, for coming to the Realization of that information about the fans! People ask me now, Why don t you respect the fans, they share the love of wrestling with you? Well, there isnt one fan out there that could say they loved wrestling, and then sit back and laugh at me as I was treated like a doormat! If they truly loved wrestling, then they would have respected myself as one of the greatest pure athletes and well-rounded wrestler that this industry has ever seen!
(The GET OFF THE STAGE type music begins to play.)
TMI: Ya see the kind of respect I get around here? How can you expect me to respect them in return? I dont need to be here at this second rate award show, I m The Main Ingredient, I ... (his mic shuts off. He then storms off with his award)
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SWAT Team
.::XHF Superstar::.
The Promise Land
Posts: 2,416
|
Post by SWAT Team on Mar 8, 2019 23:56:12 GMT -5
We see Adrian Tanner Jr up on stage.
Adrian Tanner Jr : Wow, what a night its been, and it comes down to me to hand out the final award of the evening. Best feud.
The feuds are the lifeblood of any good fed, sure the fans like to see us out here talking smack and showing our skills in the ring, but nothing gets the blood pumping more then seeing a real big rivalry unravel and come to a head before our eyes.
And this feud has pretty much dominated SWAT the entire last year ....
2005 SWATTie for Feud of the Year goes to SWAT Vs Legion X!
Down with the Sickness hits and President Xanathos along with the whole of Legion X make there way up to the podium surrounding Tanner.
President Xanathos : Yes, yes, we all know how much SWAT owes us for keeping the viewers tuned in. Now hand it over Tanner, we got a big after party to get to.
Adrian Tanner Jr : This award isnt just yours pal, its "feud" of the year. Meaning, it belongs more to "us" for standing up to you clowns. And come 2006 putting an end to you girls once and for all.
Dracon looks shocked as Adrian wallops him with the SWATTie. Dracon hits the canvas out cold as the rest of Legion X pounce on him, quickly CK Panic, James Fierce Nick Collyer and Soutter run to his aid and a all in brawl erupts on the stage.
Shot switches to a shot of Microshocker enjoying the action when Sly Fondell blindsides him and Kong, with two thundering chair shots.
Shot switches to Genity heading to the podium to back up SWAT but Conner and Kota both double teaming him and dragging him up onto a table until Jerry Nelson III chases them off with his crutch.
Shot switches to Rev Cornelius Marsh accepting some donations from the fans and then switches back to the stage area with all of SWAT and Legion X beating the hell out of each other as we fade off the air.
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