Battleground #20 : Gold Standard (Show)

[philblauer]

THE FOLLOWING FOOTAGE WAS LEAKED BY PROJECT MOUSETRAP, AN ANONYMOUS GROUP DEDICATED TO THWARTING CORPORATE MONOPOLIES.

[Marty Donovan sits around a conference table with a bunch of Disney executives. The lights are dimmed and a projector plays the new Star Wars trailer on the wall. Everyone has smug looks on their faces.]

Future Everybody Loves Raymond Streaming Reboot Star: Duh, whatcha doing there 3P0?

C-3P0: Taking one last look, sir, at my friends.

[Marty leans back, clearly emotionally impacted by this line.]

Marty: Wow, the first time we’ve heard him speak non-chewbacian. Goosebumps. You have a real “This Is Groot” moment there.

[Several of the executives nod in agreement. The trailer ends and everybody is clapping as the lights in the room come back up.]

Marty: Wow, just wow. The uplifting shot of Rhea with the star sword while hearing the sinister Thanos laugh in the background. I smell money!

[ The drinks start flowing as everyone’s attention turns back to Kathleen Kennedy.]

Kennedy: These are exciting times, people. We are a few days away from the launch of the Disney + and Marty has a big announcement of his own.

Marty: I just wanted to let everyone hear know that The V Trigger is dead and buried. From now on those jobbers need to fear THE DIS KNEE!

[ Reaching into his suit pocket, Marty would brandish a knee pad with the signature Disney font D on it. Everybody in the room eats that shit up.]

Kennedy: Great stuff, Marty. You have done wonders presenting our brand to a whole new demo.

Marty: Fat trolls who spend all day complaining on Squared Circle.

Kennedy: However, don’t forget your true purpose. You MUST get us the rights to Hardkore World.

Marty: I am working on it, Master. I have infiltrated The Society, but it is no easy task. I cannot overstate how much I hate being around them.

Kennedy: You can’t hate all of them. Kilroy?

Marty: Fat.

Kennedy: Syberus?

Marty: Talks funny.

Kennedy: Valentine?

Marty: Bastard hasn’t paid me a dime for the Maze Master Marty gamecube property. We must have sold dozens!

Kennedy: Tuxedo Mask?

[Marty has a blank look on his face.]

Marty: The Sailor Moon guy who would show up and not do anything?

Kennedy: No, a wrestler.

Marty: I can’t keep track of every new kid they add to this group.

Kennedy: Tuxedo Mask wrestled in the same company as you for years.

[Marty gives another blank stare.]

Marty: Did they have a small penis and silver hair? You must be thinking of JoJo.

Kennedy: Look it doesn’t matter. Do you think I liked those little shits in The Goonies? If it wasn’t for potential reshoots I would have had them all lined up and shot. Suck it up and get us those rights. This is all part of the bigger picture.

Marty: A world where Disney owns everything and people have to stream Cory In The House to be given water?

Kennedy: Exactly.

[The spy footage cuts to static.]

[edwarddubin0604]

(Team Fairtex is watching the monitor shaking their heads unimpressed and disgusted by Marty Donovan and Tuxedo Mask's promo.)

Tong Fairtex: "I don't know if you're trying to motivate us or you're trying to pitch one of your lame ideas that's going to be it's usual failure. if it's to motivate us well you've just succeeded in motivating us to kicking both yours and Tuxedo Mask's pathetic old asses."

Phantam Fairtex: "The last person who did this shit was that immature crybaby Trendkiller and that fucking brast was spending more time pitching his stupid ideas and more concerned with his making money that he coyldn't win the title. Then that little bitch choked when he got a title shit and blamed everyone else for his failures."

Tong Fairtex: "Then we were fired unceremoniously for something he did. The point is Low IQ Marty and Masked Penquin is stick to what professional wrestling and stop trying to be a programming executive. Hell you're probably desperate for money since your leader Jonnie Valentine nedds money and has to con as many people to bail his ass out."

Phantam Fairtex: "Yeah trying to pitch professional wrestling to a family based streaming service is like trying to pitch hickey games to a family streaming service. It's going to get e same results and that's failure. Just like your latter csreer in wrestling and that's a failure. Just occasnal appearances to collect a paycheck and fil to show up for your matches all because ou're Marty Donovan and that goes for you too Tuxedo Mask."

Tong Fairtex: "Well tonight Marty Donovan yu and your Kato Mysterio wannabe are going to be embarrassed by Team Fairtex. We're going to be the ones who make sure your idea doesn't sell because you're going to go down as a failure. It's going to be a loss but hey don't worry it's not going to a total loss since you can at least tell those corporates that you lost to Team Fairtex. At least you can say you lost to 'The Team of the Future.'"

Phantam Fairtex: "You lost to the true standard bearers in the tag team division in SWAT. Oh that's too much of a burden to bear even though it's more of an honor to have lost to Team Fairtex."

Tong Fairtex: "That's because we're the best there is and was and we're the future and if you don't like that then you're not excellent but ever worse you're losers. Then again The New Sociey of the New Breed are losers and always will be losers. We're out of here."

Phantam Fairtex: "Let's get our business done."

(They leave as the scene slowly fades to black.)

[SWAT Team]

(The show returns from promo spots for holiday specials, live MMA events, football games as well as college and professional basketball games and hockey games before returning to ringside where ringsiders have signs saying "Put New Society on Ice!"," "New Society Slobs," "New Society Rules!" and "Psychotic Goth makes war on New Society and KGB!" before fading to the broadcast table where Jeremy Tucker and Andrew Fulton are wearing headsets.)

Jeremy Tucker: "Welcome back and coming up in a matter of moments is a six-man cage match between Frostbite and his buddies, Doomsday and Lucifer who are going up against The Society of the New Breed."

Andrew Fulton: "Frostbite should have been fired but Joe Pesci being someone who believes in second chances decided to make a six-man cage match against those over the hill geezers The Society of the New Breed. Joe Pesci is proving that he calls the shots in SWAT."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well Frostbite, Doomsday and Lucifer have their work cut out for them in the steel cage. Frostbite's been in steel cage matches before im not sure about Doomsday and Lucifer. They face a very motivated Society of the New Breed."

Andrew Fulton: "I don't know who's worse to rout for Frostbite and his two goofballs or the Over The Hill Mob who call themselves The Society of the New Breed who are a bunch of morons. So who do I think is worse?"

Jeremy Tucker: "Is this one of your bad jokes."

Andrew Fulton: "Both teams in this steel cage match are bad jokes."

Jeremy Tucker: "How can both teams be bad jokes."

Andrew Fulton: "Do you see who makes up these teams. Frostbite is teaming up with his childhood thugs and The Society of the New Breed are nothing but old geezers trying to relive their glory days. Both teams are made up of jackasses."

Jeremy Tucker: "Why am I not surprised. We all knew that Joe Pesci has a big interest in this match being he and Soutter and his KGB hate them both and it was all Suits idea to pit them against each other."

Andrew Fulton: "A stroke of genius. The Society of the New Breed's been a thorn in KGB's side since they returned and Frostbite's been a threat to SWAT since he vowed to burn it down. Hell he probably cares more if both sides kill each other which would be cause for celebration for the KGB and Joe Pesci."

Jeremy Tucker: "To you that would be a relief."

Andrew Fulton: "Quite a relief."

Jeremy Tucker: "Right now let's go to Frank Salazar for the introductions for this steel cage match."

Frank Salazar: "The following contest is scheduled for one fall and it's a steel cage match. Introducing first from Boulder, CO. They come in at a combined weight of 785lbs. Please welcome Frostbite, Doomsday and Lucifer."

("Seek and Destroy" by Metallica plays and we see lotus's flying on the tron. A few seconds until day turns to night as the image fades out and another of a huge of a huge nuclear explosion as you see tanks firing in the air and right after that image we see soldiers in unison and that image fades out and another image of the nuclear explosion as you see nothing but dust and ashes of a city. The lights in the arena grow dark for a few seconds as it comes back a blue light is seen up the show of the steps as three individuals are standing up there wearing grey hoodies with their heads down. As they slowly pick up their heads we see the intense eyes of Frostbite and his friends Doomsday and Lucifer. They take a walk down the steps as fans reach out and touch their hands and touch their broad shoulders. They enter the steel cage and remove their hoodies.)

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from Palm Springs, Ca. He comes in at 5'11" and weighs in at 234lbs. He is the former owner of Hardkore World and leader of the Society of the New Breed. Please welcome 'The Human Dropkick Machine’ Jonnie Valentine."

(Everybody Works For the Weekend" by Loverboy plays as Jonnie Valentine jogs to the ring slapping fans hands, doing a full lap around the front row He is followed by Ron the Merchant Guy who is pushing a merchant cart with licensed Society of the New Breed merchandise. He enters the steel cage and does a double guns to the crowd. he takes off his red tasseled jacket with Jonnie Valentine written in cursive lettering, ted trunks and white boots with "JV" embroidered on them.)

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from Attbury, South Carolina. He comes in at 6ft. and weighs in at 245lbs. He is also a member of The Society of the New Breed. Please welcome Kilroy Evans."

("Let the Games Begin" by JR plays and Kilroy enters to cheers. He slaps hands and stops for pictures and sees a fan whom he goes over and whispers something to a fan who laughs at whatever he said. he enters the cage dressed in sneakers, jeans and a custom shirt that has Frosatbite's head on Frosty the Snowman, Lucifer's head on the devil and Doomsday's head on DC Comics villain Doomsday.)

Andrew Fulton: "Once again Kilroy insults the intelligence of the opponents."

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from Manchester, England. He comes in at 6'1" and weighs in at 232lbs. he is a member of the Society of the New Breed and is accompanied to the ring by his bodyguard Russian Assassin II. Please welcome '110% Syberus."

("Two Notes Short of an Octave" by Red City kicks off and the crowd pops, Syberus and Russian Assassin II doesn't keep them waiting long though and pushes his way out the curtain. He takes a second look around at the audience on the stage before pumping his fist in the air yelling "Yeah!" as Russian Assassin II roars. He is wearing black tights with a laurel wreath in gold in the rear and white taped wrists. He enters the cage and mounts the top turnbuckle and pumps his fist yelling "Yeah!")

Jeremy Tucker: "The cage is locked and the tensions are running high and is thick as fog
as the bell rings and this high stakes match is underway. All six collide in the center of the ring and the fists are flying as both teams are beating each other up in the opening seconds of this match."

Andrew Fulton: "it won't be any loss to Pesci, Soutter or even me if all six of these idiots kill each other. Hell Joe Pesci, Soutter and the KGB would practically be celebrating and SWAT would be much better without them."

Jeremy Tucker: "No wonder why you don't get any complimentary tweets or comments on social media. Frostbite and Jonnie Valentine are exchanging stiff forearms while Doomsday and Kilroy Evans are treating each other to stiff chops to the chest. Doomsday is no selling it and Lucifer is bedevilling Syberus with stiff lefts."

Andrew Fulton: "Meanwhile that moron Ronnie the Merchant Guy is pushing around his merchandise cart peddling The Society of the New Breed's cheap junk mostly Valentine's and Russian Assassin II is shaking the cage and yelling who knows what at The Society of the New Breed."

Russian Assassin II: "BRING HOME THE GLITZY GLAMOUROUS GLASNOST AND MAKE LOTS AND LOTS OF PERISTROIKA!"

Jeremy Tucker: "He must love America after Jonnie Valentine hired him."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah blame Jonnie Valentine and Donald Trump for that."

Jeremy Tucker: "Frostbite whips Jonnie Valentine into the ropes and he cartwheels away from a Frostbite clothesline but is clotheslined from hell by the appropriately named Lucifer."

Andrew Fulton: "Serves him right for trying to play cheerleader instead of wrestling in the cage match...."

(Ron the Merchant Guy comes over to him.)

Andrew Fulton: "Oh come on. Please get this jerk away from me."

Ron the Merchant Guy: "Can I interest you in a Society of the New Breed T-shirt."

Andrew Fulton: "I'll call security if you don't stop harassing me."

Ron the Merchant Guy: "Come on there must be something you like...."

Andrew Fulton: "That does it I'm calling security....Security this guy's harassing me."

(Russian Assassin II comes over.)

Russian Assassin II: "BUY SOMETHING! IT GOOD QUALITY STUFF AND WORTH THE RUBLES!"

Andrew Fulton: "Security these two are harassing me!"

Ron the Merchandise Guy: "Let's go or he'll throw a temper."

(They leave but Russian Assassin II glares at him.)

Jeremy Tucker: "Now that Andrew's appearance in this live infomercial is done. We return to this match where Lucifer is short arm clotheslined by Kilroy Evans who in turn gets a stiff big boot by Doomsday and is drop kicked by Jonnie Valentine who gets dropkicked in turn by Frostbite."


Andrew Fulton: "Syberus dropkicks Frostbite while Russian Assassin II shakes the cage like The Ultimate Warrior. Doomsday takes Kilroy by the hair or at least lack of hair and if that's his actual hair and smashes his head repeatedly into that steel cage post. That's not going to help knock sense into that empty skull of his. He rubs and scrapes Kilroy's already ugly mug along the steel cage mesh repeatedly and he's making Kilroy bleed badly."

Jeremy Tucker: "Things have just degraded into a typical SWAT match. Syberus goes into his boot and pulls out what looks like a nail file that has something that looks like dirt or whatever you scrape from under your finger or toe nails....."

Andrew Fulton: "Ugh!.....That's digusting!"

Jeremy Tucker: "Syberus just dug that soiled nail file into Frostbite's head."

Andrew Fulton: "Someone give Frostbite a shot of something or he'll give the whole roster rabies compliments of Syberus."

Russian Assassin II: "TORTURE HIM COMRADE SYBERUS!"

Andrew Fulton: "He obviously taught them well. Doomsday sees what Syberus is doing and grabs him by the hair. He smashes his head into the steel cage post and he rubs and scrapes Syberus's head along the steel cage mesh right in front of Russian Assassin II. Syberus is bleeding profusely now."

Jeremy Tucker: "Doomsday takes the padding off the turnbuckle and he smashes Syberus's head into it. He comes charging in he trainwrecks both Doomsday and Syberus. Russian Assassin II rocks and shakes the cage like a maniac."

Andrew Fulton: "Can someone put that monster on a leash before he gives someone rabies or worse attack someone like me. Lucifer clotheslines Kilroy from behind and surprise, surprise he smashes into Doomsday who again squashes Kilroy. Anyone think this is a Three Stooges routine. Lucifer opens up a can of whoop ass on Kilroy and Doomsday joins in on the fun."

Jeremy Tucker: Looks like everything's getting real ugly now."

Jeremy Tucker: "Really what made that rather obvious Captain Obvious."

Jeremy Tucker: "Let's see when Syberus used that nail soiled file and when Kilroy squashed Doomsday into Syberus."

Andrew Fulton: "Jonnie Valentine bodyslams Frostbite before mounting him before going to the top rope and moonsaults Frostbite who gets his knees up and Jonnie's singing soprano. He sets Jonnie up and suplex's him hard into the corner and Jonnie bounces out and he's holding his back in pain."

Jeremy Tucker: "Frostbite ties him up in the tree of woe and then gives Russian Assassin II the double Stone Cold salute before opening up a can of whoop ass. Russian Assassin II roars and really shakes the cage in rage as Frostbite gives him another double Stone Cold salute."

Andrew Fulton: "That's disrespectful to Russian Assassin II. Doomsday mounts the top rope and he double flying clotheslines Syberus and Kilroy. Lucifer and Doomsday mount and ground and pound them with brass knuckles. Frostbite on the top turnbuckle and swings off smashing Jonnie's million dollar good looks."

Frostbite: "YOU WON'T BE ON ANY ALBUM COVERS ANYTIME SOON JONNIE VAENTINE!"

Jeremy Tucker: "Things are definitely degrading into an all out brawl. Frostbite sees Kilroy and Lucifer rolling back and forth brawling and he puts the boots to Kilroy then he puts the boots to Syberus's head. Meanwhile the referee's still attempting to free Jonnie Valentine."

Andrew Fulton: "Gee what else could happen that hasn't already."

(The lights go off in the arena and the tron shows Psychotic Goth.)

Andrew Fulton: "Oh not not him."

Psychotic Goth: "Oh New Shits of New Bitches. Here's a better song for your new album The Worst Karaoke of Jonnie Valentine and the Four Ass Clowns...."

(Psychotic Goth laughs maniacally.)


Psychotic Goth: "One....Two....Psychotic Goth's coming for you....."

(He cackles as he raises a hand that has razor sharp gloves and presses it to his face.)

Psychotic Goth: "Three....Four....You and the KGB are a bunch of stinking fucking whores...."

(He laughs again.)

Psychotic Goth: "Five....Six....Russian Assassin II enjoys sucking Syberus's 110% dick...."

(Russian Assassin II pounds and thumps his chest threatening Psychotic Goth who simply laughs it off.)

Psychotic Goth: "Oh I'm sorry Vlad Putin's Little Russian Teddy Bear. Allow me to finish whether you like it or not."

(Psychotic Goth laughs maniacally.)

Psychotic Goth: "Seven....Eight....The KGB and New Society of the New Breed I so really hate. Nine....Ten You'll never exist again. "

(He laughs like a madman.)

Psychotic Goth: "You thought I forgot all about you after the KGB and you screwed me time after time. From this moment on I shall place a curse on all your damned souls and both your groups shall suffer ultimate purgatory and perdition. When you realize the curse's effects it shall be too little too late. Good luck to both your both your bitch groups. I shall own you. I SHALL OWN ALL OF YOU!"


(He laughs demonically and goes over to a board that has the faces of the KGB and New Society of the New Breed on it and uses the razor blade gloved hand to rip and destroy the images as he laughs demonically and roars in an ancient dialect before the screen goes black and the lights go back on.)

Jeremy Tucker: "Looks like Psychotic Goth just made declared war on both the Society AND the KGB. Frostbite and his friends roll up The New Society of the New Breed....One....Two....Kickout."

Andrew Fulton: "Frostbite and his thugs put the boots to all three members of The New Society of the New Breed. They whip Syberus into the corner and take turns avalanching him. Lucifer finds that nail file and he spits on it. He digs and carves up Syberus's head and face...Totally disgusting. Kilroy chopblocks Doomsday while Jonnie Valentine German suplex's Lucifer. Frostbite continues to beatdown. Speaking of beatdowns Jonnie and Kilroy mount and ground and pound Lucifer and Doomsday."

Jeremy Tucker: "Syberus with a head butt to Frosty, then an inverted atomic drop, FLAPJACKS HIM into the steel cage!."

Andrew Fulton: "Psychotic Goth must have motivated those morons. They whip Frostbite into the ropes and double clothesline Frostbite while Jonnie legdrops him. All three smash Frostbite and his thug friends into the steel cage post repeatedly and in stereo. They follow up with synchronized big boots to the back of their heads."

Jeremy Tucker: "The Society of the New Breed start pummelling Frostbite and friends who cover up but they counter with lefts and rights of their own to the body. All six seemed to have resumed their all out brawl and so far it's been wilder than expected."

(Russian Assassin II stalks ominously towards Andrew Fulton.)

Andrew Fulton: "Ohh come on. Here comes Boris and Natasha's love child to threaten and harass me."

Russian Assassin II: "YOU TELL THAT FREAK THAT I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!"

Andrew Fulton: "I don't even know him."

Russian Assassin II: "TELL HIM I KILL HIM AND I'LL SEND HIM TO HELL!"

Andrew Fulton: "Let me tell you I don't know him and sending him to hell is like giving him a luxury vacation."

Jeremy Tucker: "Excuse me we have a match to call and could you go back to urging your comrades on."

Russian Assassin II: "YOU NEXT FOR PRAISING KGB AND NOT PURCHASING GOOD MERCHANDISE FROM JONNIE VALENTINE!"

(Russian Assassin glares at them before leaving."

Andrew Fulton: "You hear that he just threatened me."

Jeremy Tucker: "Just buy something from them. Jonnie just executed a beautiful Three Amigos on Lucifer and taunts the monsters.. Syberus and Kilroy Evans doubleteam Doomsday who attempts to fight them both off but they are both relentless."

Andrew Fulton: "They double headbutt him in the chin before whipping him into the ropes and Doomsday double clotheslines them both. He takes turns headbutting them both repeatedly before bellowing and thumping his chest. Doomsday and Russian Assassin II are staring each other down."

Jeremy Tucker: "That doesn't look good in a match of this magnitude. Frostbite clothesline Jonnie Valentine from behind and starts stomping a mud hole in Jonnies back. Doomsday and Lucifer join in and all three want to beat him down hard but Syberus and Kilroy break it up with double shoulder tackles."

Andrew Fulton: "Russian Assassin II is threatening Doomsday as he continues to shake that cage and cheers his comrades on. Doomsday simply ignores it and gives him 'The Bring It On' hand signal. Now it makes you wonder who the bigger idiot is Doomsday or Russian Assassin II. Doomsday gets speared by Kilroy Evans, a hellacious spear! Frostbite kicks at the cage near the big Russian outside the steel cage up close and personal. He's getting more hot and bothered than Vladimir Putin at a failed missile firing range test. Kilroy and Jonnie whip Frostbite into the ropes and deliver a double discus punch followed by a double superkick."

Jwremy Tucker: "Kilroy and Jonnie double Garvin Stomp Frostbite repeatedly while Lucifer mounts the top turnbuckle and double clotheslines both of them. Doomsday does a dancing stomp on both Kilroy's and Jonnies heads."

Andrew Fulton: "Don't count on anyone of them being chosen for dancing contests anytime soon. Syberus recovered just enough and goes into his tights for something and throws it to Russian Assassin II. He charges and spears Lucifer. He sneaks up and executes a dumping stunner on Doomsday."

Jeremy Tucker: "The referee's warning Russian Assassin II to hand him that packet and Russian Assassin II refuses. Russian Assassin II just clotheslined the referee and then he opens the packet which turns out to be a set of keys to the cage."

Andrew Fulton: "Soutter and Pesci should have The Society of the New Breed arrested and fired along with Russian Assassin II for attacking the referee. Now Russian Assassin II's having trouble trying to get the cage door open He obviously can't tell the key to a steel cage from a key to a Russian Gulag.

(Russian Assassin II opens up the cage.)

Jeremy Tucker: "Looks like he found out and he's unlocking the steel cage as Syberus executed the Pure Confidence on Frostbite."


Andrew Fulton: " Russian Assassin II just unlocked the cage and enters the cage to interfere as if they aren't used to interfering in each other's matches for cheap victories."

Jeremy Tucker: "Russian Assassin II clotheslines Lucifer and then Frostbite. Doomsday takes exception to it and clotheslines Russian Assassin II from behind and doesn't budge. He turns to face Doomsday and both refuse to blink or budge as they both get into each other's faces. They both dare each other to make the first move and both roar and thump their chests."

Andrew Fulton: "Okay who's going to faint from the other's bad breath. Doomsday and Russian Assassin II start wailing away at each other. These two refuse to move and they start trading vicious headbutts but they still refuse to budge."

Jeremy Tucker: "Talking about the unstoppable force meeting the immovable object. Doomsday and Russian Assassin II start trading vicious forearms. Jonnie sneaks up on Doomsday and he chopblocks him. He rolls him up but the referee is down and he kicks out. Now Jonnie spears Doomsday as the referee is still down and Russian Assassin II tries to revive the referee."

Andrew Fulton: "Russian Assassin II finally revives the referee and he pulls the referee over as Jonnie hooks the leg and the referee makes the count....One....Two....Three."

Frank Salazar: "Your winner at 20minutes. The Society of the New Breed."

Jeremy Tucker: "The Society of the New Breed win in a very wild brawl with Frostbite and his friends."

(They fade to commercials.)

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: Up next ladies and gentlemen- The World Tag Team Championships are on the line, and the Society of the New Breed get their chance to win their first SWAT gold since reforming.

Andrew Fulton: This could send huge shockwaves through the business.

Jeremy Tucker: We just saw the other half of the Society pick up a huge win in that insane cage match. Can Marty Donovan and Tuxedo Mask follow up by claiming the tag titles??

[“Zerospace” by Kidneythieves plays and the crowd heat up as Tuxedo Mask and Marty Donovan make their way to the ring.]

Frank Salazar: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the SWAT WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIPS!! Introducing first the challengers, at a combined weight of 437lbs... Tuxedo Mask, Marty Donovan, THE SOCIETY OF THE NEW BREED!!

[Marty Donovan and Tuxedo Mask hop up on opposite turnbuckles and play to the crowd as their music is replaced is replace by UFC mix. Tong and Phantam Fairtex make their way down to the ring with the Tag Team Championship belts in tow.]

Frank Salazar: And from Bangkok, Thailand, at a combined weight of 470lbs.... they are the SWAT WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS... Tong and Phantam Fairtex!!!

[Collar and elbow tie dead centre between Tong and Marty Donovan who start the match. Tong wrenches Marty into a hammerlock and cracks up the pressure.]

Jeremy Tucker: Donovan elbows his way free and comes off the ropes, ducks a clothesline from Tong Fairtex, and comes back with a cross body.

[Both men pop back to their feet, they lock up again and Tong Fairtex drives Marty Donovan back to one of the empty turnbuckles. The ref breaks it up and Donovan thumbs Tong in the eye.]

Andrew Fulton: Cheap shot from Marty! He follows up with a clothesline!

Referee Frederik Gunnarson: 1... (Tong kicks out)

Andrew Fulton: Marty Donovan with a double ax handle smash to the back of Tong's neck. That's got to hurt. Tong holds the back of his neck as Donovan follows up with a right hand.

Jeremy Tucker: Marty Donovan now mounting the back of Tong Fairtex trying to choke him out!

[Phantam is calling for the tag as Tong struggles. Tong then flips Marty Donovan over who crashes to the mat.]

Jeremy Tucker: Tong Fairtex with a huge kick, blasting Donovan right in the face and sending him reeling!

Andrew Fulton: Tong follows up with a belly to back suplex! He tags in Phantam.

Jeremy Tucker: Donovan evades Phantam's grap though and staggers over to Tuxedo Mask for the tag!

[Tux hops in and ducks a clothesline from Phantam. He comes back with a handspring hurricanrana.]

Jeremy Tucker: And here comes Tuxedo Mask! Phantam dazed by that bolt out of the blue and Tux is up top before you can blink – Phantam turns right around into a Tornado DDT!!

Referee Frederik Gunnarson: 1... 2... (Phantam kicks out)

Andrew Fulton: He almost had it right there!

Jeremy Tucker: Phantam cuts off Tux now though – smashing his jaw with an uppercut! Exploder suplex gives Phantam a second to recover.

[Phantam leans back on the ropes for a second. Tux drags himself back up. Phantam whips him to the ropes and Tux comes back with a flying cross body!]

Jeremy Tucker: Here comes the tag, Marty Donovan back in for the Society of the New Breed, looking to steal away those tag team titles. He lights up Phantam Fairtex with some knife edge chops. Donovan comes flying into the corner with a dropkick to the face!!

[Phantam flops to the ground as Tong calls for the tag. Marty Donovan drags Phantam back to his feet and whips him to the ropes. Marty catches Tong with a drop toe hold dropping his neck over the bottom rope.]

Andrew Fulton: Marty Donovan now choking Tong Fairtex with that bottom rope!

Jeremy Tucker: The referee doesn't like that, giving Marty Donovan to the count of five to release the ropes. Marty Donovan now applies an armlock and drops to the mat.

[Tong Fairtex groans in pain as Marty Donovan yanks back on the arm. Tux applauds from one side as Phantam now shouts encouragement to Tong.]

Jeremy Tucker: Tong Fairtex in trouble here with the SWAT World Tag Team Championships on the line! Could the Society of the New Breed be about to claim their first gold?

[Tong starts to fight back and work to his feet. Donovan keeps the arm lock applied. Tong rolls into the pressure and has Donovan pinned!]

Referee Frederik Gunnarson: 1... 2... (Donovan kicks out)

Andrew Fulton: Marty Donovan was almost caught out there!!

[Tong tags in Phantam while Marty Donovan once again tags in Tuxedo Mask. Both men rush to the centre, Tux ducking a forearm again, kicking Phantam in the mid before hitting an enziguri!]

Jeremy Tucker: This could be it!!

Referee Frederik Gunnarson: 1... 2... (Phantam kicks out)

[Tong and Marty Donovan start to brawl on the outside. Tuxedo Mask pulls up Phantam Fairtex who cuts him off with a right hand. Phantam starts pummeling Tuxedo Mask with rights and lefts as Marty Donovan whips Tong into the steel ring steps.]

Jeremy Tucker: Phantam crushes Tux with a pumhandle backbreaker!! Big Deal!!

[Tuxedo Mask rolls around holding his back in agony while Phantam Fairtex stalks him in the corner. Phantam waits for Tux to get back to his feet before breaking him in half with a gore.]

Jeremy Tucker: Bull Run!! This could be it!!

[Phantam falls onto the cover but Marty Donovan is up on the turnbuckle and leaps off with a splash!]

Jeremy Tucker: Look out – Phantam moves at the last second and Donovan splashes his own team mate Tuxedo Mask!!

[Donovan staggers back holding his stomach aghast at his mistake. He gets clotheslined over the top rope by Phantam.]

Jeremy Tucker: Phantam back on the cover!

Referee Frederik Gunnarson: 1... 2... 3!!!

Andrew Fulton: It's over!

Frank Salazar: Here are your winners and STILL SWAT World Tag Team Champions... Tong and Phantam Fairtex!!!

Jeremy Tucker: The Society will have to wait for their first championship gold after Marty Donovan's miscue here tonight!

[suzispitz]

SS : Good evening, S.W.A.T. fans... Suzi Spitz here...

I bought this air-time, through a very generous donation from my multi-billion dollar international conglomerate tax writeoff company, The Spitz Foundation, so that I could express my deepest sympathies for all three of my opponents tonight...

I respect 'em all, I really do, but... I mean...

I'm Suzi Spitz, bitches...

and they're all steppin' into my ring... mine...

and when ya step into my ring, it doesn't matter who you are, who ya think you are, or who ya wanna be. If your name isn't my name, you're gettin' your ass whipped.

That's all there is to it.

So, I guess what I'm really tryin' ta say, is I ain't takin' any of ya lightly. I know they don't just hand out titles for Shitz-n-Gigglez™, but hey...

I've got a title too.

You bitches best not forget that.

'Cause ya might be able ta scrap, but none of ya actually have anything ta prove... I got a LOT ta prove... I'm on a mission...

ya see, people used ta take me seriously... people used ta understand that I was exactly what I've always said I was... but for the past three years, it seems ta me, that people have suddenly forgotten... heh-heh... who the hell I am.

Well take a good, hard, long, LOOK!.. at who's standin' here now...

a real wrestler.

A real threat.

A real champion.

And tonight, I'm gonna remind you... all of you... why you know my name.

I fully intend to force you to admit that I still am exactly what I've always said I am...

'cause after I beat THREE champions, you'll have no choice, but to recognize that there's really only one...

and, like it, or not...

she's me.

That's all.

You can go now.

~ ❤ ~

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: Well its time fans for our main event!

Andrew Fulton: NEW CHAMPION!

Jeremy Tucker: Joe Pesci has devised a match in which "The Sacrificial Idol" Radu Matei will have to defend his strap against the Hardcore champion, Amazon champion, and Pan-Am champion in the same match.  Pesci is SO CONFIDENT that he finally has Matei's number that he has promised to reinstate Lynn Brewster as the general manager if Radu somehow manages to beat the odds.  The champion has consistently surprised us all, dragging victory from the jaws of defeat since Battle Bowl, and set a RECORD for the number of successful defences by a SWAT world champion... but after the beating he sustained earlier this evening, I have to grudgingly agree with Andrew.  We will see a new world champion tonight.

Andrew Fulton: Its too bad Brewster won't get her cushy management job back, but at least Pesci will keep her employed as his maid.  In this economy, she is lucky to have it.

Jeremy Tucker: The stakes have never been higher!  Can Matei somehow manage to save Brewster and give SWAT an official that doesn't have the KGB's interests at heart?  We send it down to Frank Salazar for introductions.

Frank Salazar: Ladies and gentlemen - this MAIN EVENT contest is a four way dance for the SWAT WOOORLD HEEEEAVYWEIGHT TIIIIIIIITLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*MASSIVE POP*



The massive roar for the title fight quickly turns to boos as SWAT owner Joe Pesci makes his way out of the back to get a front row seat for this massacre.

Frank Salazar: Entering first... coming to us from the Jersey Shore, New Jersey... standing at 5'11" and weighing 135 pounds...

The Jersey Devil Diva

The Godfather

Your Amazon champion--------------

JOANNE CANELLI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



The house lights go down, as a spotlight goes over the crowd. As the spotlight comes to a stop at the back of the entrance way, as Courtesy Call by Thousand Foot Krutch begins to play. A picture of the Italian Flag appears on the screen with the letters F.B.I over the flag, with the words "FULL BLOODED ITALIAN" is written underneath. It soon changes to scenes of mob hits, newspaper clippings from just recent to the late 1900's, but soon changes once again, to shots of the Mafioso, sitting in a large office, and in limos, and in arena's from times since past. The spotlight focuses on four figures figures standing at the back of the ramp. This is Joanne and her bodyguards. They make their way down the ramp with Joanne in the middle with Reno and Rude on either side, and Scarpaci following behind, , talking among themselves ignoring the crowd around them. When they reach the ring, Reno holds open the ropes for her, as she slips inside, only to follow behind and stand in the middle of the ring, around her. She removes her jacket, and hands it to one of the guys, before they head out of the ring.

Jeremy Tucker: As if Timeless wasn't enough to ensure the KGB's victory, both Reno and Rude are down here as well.  How many people is it going to take?

Frank Salazar: Next, hailing from New Hope, Minnesota and coming in at 6’3 and 262lbs ... accompanied by Roxylishus ....

Your Hard- TECHNICAL CHAMPION-

TIMELESSSSSSSSSSSS

ALEEEEEEEEEX

TUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURNER!!!



Orion - Eternity (Chillout Version) hits and Turner struts down the aisle, glaring at the crowd with contempt and disgust. Roxylishus stops to interact with one of the crowd, then wretches and turns away heading to the ring, she gets up on the apron and holds the ropes down for Turner.

Roxylishus grabs the mic and passes it to Timeless.

Timeless : I got passion in my pants and i ain’t afraid to show it.

Crowd : I’M, SEXY AND I KNOW IT!

Timeless : No (holding his hand up to block them) Your not! I (points to himself with his thumb) AM!

Timeless drops the mic and saunters smugly around the ring impressed with himself.  Roxy joins Reno and Rude with Pesci on the far side.

Frank Salazar: Next, we have the current reigning Pan Am Champion ... she hails from New Orleans and comes in at 5’10 and 135 lbs ...

she is The Violent Vixen ...

SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUZI

SPITZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!



C.O.D. hits and Suzi makes her way to the ring, high fiving the fans on the way.

Jeremy Tucker: Here comes Suzi - and you have to think after turning down the KGB, she has painted a target on her back...

Andrew Fulton: There can only be one world champion... and I hear Canelli and Timeless played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have the honour of pinning Spitz.  He had to travel back in time 47 times before figuring out that Canelli is no stranger to scissors, but rock won out!

Frank Salazar: And last but not least...



The fans go ape shit crazy as the champion's music starts to pump over the PA system.


Frank Salazar: The beast of dixie...

Unbreakable M...

DEATHLESS himself...

That Sacrificial Idol...

and YOUR WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...

RADDDDDUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait for it.

Jeremy Tucker: ...

Andrew Fulton: ...

Fireworks.

Spotlights.

Jeremy Tucker: ...

A lot of pyro cues getting to crowd to a fever pitch, but it doesn't look like the champion is coming.



Andrew Fulton:
It looks like its going to be a three way dance...


















*MONSTER POP*

A bandaged hand pushes through the curtains.

Flashbulbs go off as Radu Matei limps out on weak legs.  He is followed by a number of officials, medical staff, and production assistants who all very concerned for the potential lawsuits that come with dying in the ring.  The positive reaction of the crowd is silenced by concern for the Sacrificial Idol's condition.

Jeremy Tucker: The champ is here... what's left of him anyway.  Thanks to Paul Soutter, he can barely walk - but he has the title, and he's slowly making his way down to the ring.  Officials trying to help him, but he's too proud for t-OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!

*MONSTER JEERS*

DING!!!        DING!!!!        DING!!!!!!!


Jeremy Tucker: The champion isn't even there and already Timeless and Canelli have jumped on Spitz!  The KGB participants stomping a hole in the Pan-Am champion!  Spitz knows what a big opportunity this is, she is trying to fight back with all she has, but this is just a gangland beating!  Absolutely brutal - the bell ringing, and we have started this match without Matei even in it!



Andrew Fulton: The way he's moving, Timeless or The Godfather will be the champion before he's halfway up the aisle.



Jeremy Tucker: Spitz trying to cover up, but for every one person she blocks, the other gets a vicious shot in!  On the outside, Joe Pesci talking smack to her about not being a team player.  He looks steamed that she turned them down.  In the past few weeks, Hardcore, Tag Team, and Amazon championships have all come under their control, and the only two hold outs look like their careers are going to be ended tonight!



Andrew Fulton: I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING!  WHAT IF RADU MATEI HAS JOINED THE KGB!  This could all be a rouse!  Let Suzi get double teamed into the ground, enter the conquering hero, only to leg drop of doom us!  Abandoning SWAT, what a low life.



Jeremy Tucker: WHAT?  OF COURSE NOT ANDREW!  WHERE DO YOU EVEN COME UP WITH THIS?



Andrew Fulton:

He's taking his sweet time!

Jeremy Tucker:

The man is concussed to the point where he might not even know what show this is.  He's using the guardrail to keep from falling down, and fans trying to slap him on the back in support are just causing him to bleed like a faucet!  Radu Matei is a shell of a man and it is all Paul Soutter, Zoran Sainovic, and the KGB's fault.  WAIT - Matei seeing what's happening to Suzi is starting to charge down the aisle!  He's almost falling, but picking up his pace to try and help - what has basically turned into a handicap match.

Andrew Fulton:

Call that hurrying - does he have any hips left to break?  In the ring, SPIKE PILEDRIVER!  Taking a page out of Matei's book, we have some real neck breaking going on.  The two now following it up with a Doomsday Machine.  Timeless showing why he used to be the best tag specialist in the fed, before we don't talk about that anymore, and he went on to singles glory.

Jeremy Tucker:

FALCON ARROW!!!!  Timeless just took Suzi down, and Canelli being supportive as referee Kip Katt moves in for the three count... 1... 2... 3KICKOUT!  No attempts to break it by Canelli, despite the world title being on the line, the KGB are showing that they are on the same page.

Andrew Fulton:

Now Timeless offering the downed Spitz up to the Amazon champion.  Canelli with a ROLL THE DICE!!!!!!!!!!!!  Spitz is down, and now Timeless taking a step back for Canelli to make the pin - 1 - 2 - 3 in the ropes!  We almost saw a new world champion TWICE!

Jeremy Tucker:

This is not an elimination match, the first fall will be our new champion.  Canelli now lifting Spitz up for the Bulls Eye - which would end this.  NO!  Radu Matei has finally hit the ring... 







Andrew Fulton: RADU and TIMELESS HIGH FIVE EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!  ...just kidding.






Jeremy Tucker: Not funny, Andrew.  Matei going for a double axe-handle on Canelli, but Timeless takes him down with a dropkick.  Turner didn't hit it that hard, but Matei is down.  He should not be in that ring right now.  Paul Soutter effectively ENDED Matei's title reign at the start of the evening, the only reason the Sacrificial Idol is in there tonight is because of an ethical stand that the champion should be in the ring when the title moves on.  Can't say I don't agree, but with these contenders, he could be looking at his last match.  Timeless hitting a dragon suplex, and now locking a sharp shooter on the champion.  Canelli pulling the world title off of Matei's waist and... and... 

#SMACK#



Andrew Fulton:

He might not know where he is, but he's in a world of pain!

Jeremy Tucker:

Canelli using the world title to WHIP the champion.  Can we get a DQ ref?

Andrew Fulton: No way is Pesci letting this match end in anything other than a pinfall!  The ref sees what Pesci does to his enemies.

Jeremy Tucker: Its disgusting.  Gold plates cutting through medical gauze as she bludgeons Unbreakable M into a bloody mess.

Andrew Fulton:

Well don't give Paul all the credit for ending the Matei project, these two got their licks in at the start of the show - now one of them will be rewarded for it!  Referee asking if Matei submits, but he should really just ring the bell, because this is over.






! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Jeremy Tucker:

CANELLI USING THAT HARD GOLD BELT TO ASSIST IN HITTING A DIRT OFF YOUR SHOULDERS ON THE PRONE MATEI!!!

Andrew Fulton: And Timeless letting go of the sharp shooter to hook a leg...













ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
















TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
















THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!











! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !








*HUGE POP*



Jeremy Tucker:

Spitz somehow finding the strength to drop toehold Canelli into Timeless, breaking the cover!  Timeless looking at Canelli like she broke the plan!  Good thinking on Spitz part trying to sow seeds of mistrust into the KGB mem---

Andrew Fulton: Nah, Pesci is on the outside barking orders and pointing at her.  We aren't going to have any miscommunications tonight.



Jeremy Tucker:

Canelli kicking Spitz off of her.  The Pan-Am champion is still in a bad way from that vicious double team.  With Canelli taking her to the corner, Timeless laying in some stiff elbow shots, and tearing at Matei's tape.  Turner absolutely hates Matei.

Andrew Fulton:

Who can blame him?  Turner was Matei's first defence, and the bug man sent Roxy to the emergency room!  I know those idiots in the audience want to cheer him now, but Matei is a monster, and I think its fitting that Turner be the one to finish his career--------------







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*MONSTER JEERS FROM EVERYONE BUT GIRLS*

Jeremy Tucker:

TURNABOUT!!!!!!

Andrew Fulton:

Timeless has his variation of the rings of saturn locked in.  Matei is no where near the ropes, and Canelli has Spitz in the corner with her hard kicks.  We have seen Matei hurt himself to get out of submitting before, hell, even this hold, but he doesn't have anything left to mutilate.  The referee is going to have no choice but to call this...

Jeremy Tucker:

Kip Katt checking on Matei, who seems unresponsive...

Andrew Fulton:

Suzi trying to duck a kick to break the submission hold... her shot at the world title slipping away... but Canelli blocks her!  The Amazon champion dragging the Pan-Am champion into the Italian necktie!!!  I don't think their are team orders from Pesci, but lets see which KGB member can make which opponent tap first!!!  COME ON JOANNE!  YOU CAN DO IT ALEX!  BREAK HER NECK JOANNE!  FINISH HIM ALEX!





! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !





Jeremy Tucker: Spitz trying to fight out of the Italian Necktie... trying to kick Timeless while in the hold to break his finisher on Matei.  Canelli having NO PART of that, dragging Spitz to the corner!



Andrew Fulton:

Suzi is wild, but Joanne isn't the AMAZON champion for nothing!  And if Spitz tires herself out first, she could end up tapping before Katt calls it a bodybag for Radu!  Unifying the Amazon and World title, I can't think of any Queen more deserving a double crown than Joanne Canelli!

Jeremy Tucker: Spitz is starting to fade, and Timeless barking at the referee to check on Matei - even if they're a united front, he wants his own finisher to be called first.  Roxy is backing him on the apron... here comes Katt to check on Matei... I can't watch...





! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! 

*MEGA POP*

Jeremy Tucker: As Canelli tries to hang onto the necktie, Spitz somehow shifting her weight into a reverse neckbreaker!  Just jammed Canelli into the ropes!  THAT GOT HER OUT OF IT!  And the crowd reaction bought Matei a few precious seconds before Katt could call him knocked out.  WAIT, Spitz finding a second wind - SPLIT LEGGED MOONSAULT BREAKS THE TURNABOUT!!!!!!!



Andrew Fulton:

Running closeline keeps Canelli in the corner.  Wait, Turner might be unconscious but he's on top of Matei - there's the cover 1 - 2 - Ugh.  Spitz now charging back with a shining wizard to knock Turner off of Matei!  With Matei basically a rotting lump of flesh, she has to have eyes in the back of her head to avoid losing.

Jeremy Tucker: This has turned into a handicap match, but Spitz doesn't mind!  She's gunning for the world title, but showing that the Pan Am is just as competitive as the other belts in SWAT, maybe more!  Shoulderblock drives Canelli into the corner, now coming out with a handspring elbow into Timeless!  Pesci looks BEAT RED on the outside, but the crowd are eating this up!



Andrew Fulton:

Enjoy it while it lasts, you can't keep down two of SWAT's best and brightest for long.  Spitz trying to put Timeless in a cobra clutch, but here comes Joanne - The Godfather charging out of the corner - I KNOW A MOB HIT WHEN I SEE ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!








! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !






Jeremy Tucker:

SPITZ CAUGHT CANELLI WITH THE BITCHMAKER!!!!!!!!!!!!  BITCHMAKER!!!!!!!!  BITCHMAKER!!!!!!!!!  I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M REPEATING THIS SO EXCITEDLY - BITCHMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Andrew Fulton: Me neither.  Poor Joe is going to have a heart attack.

Jeremy Tucker: Devastating powerbomb into a sharpshooter - NEW CHAMP!!!!!!!!!

Andrew Fulton: I was excited to, but not like this.

Jeremy Tucker: Sharp shooter is locked in tight - and Kit Kapp checking to see if---- what?






*HUH?*




Andrew Fulton:
That's a relief, but I don't get it.

Jeremy Tucker:

Timeless and Matei are both out of it, Suzi could have had it won there, but let go of the 'itchmaker.

Andrew Fulton:

Now you're embarrassed to say it?  Spitz now heading over to Timeless and Matei, maybe she wants to pin Matei herself to make it seem more legit.  WAIT!  TIMELESS jumping at her for the TURN ME LOOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!










! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Jeremy Tucker:

ORAL VICTORY!!!  ORAL VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  SUZI CATCHING TIMELESS WITH THE ORAL VICTORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
























ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
















Andrew Fulton:

What is her deal?  Timeless could have kicked out of that, if she's trying to make her belt look better by not letting the other champs kick out, well, that's a dick move for a lady.

Jeremy Tucker:

Fans left scratching their heads as Suzi Spitz lets go of the oral victory at 1.  Now dragging Timeless up for a fisherman's suplex, rolling into another fisherman's suplex, still not hanging on for the pin, and there is the third... and... huh... 










*MASSIVE POP*







Jeremy Tucker: DRAGGING Radu Matei on top of Timeless for the cover-























ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



















TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





















THREE???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Andrew Fulton: THANK CHRIST!  Canelli with the save!  Joe was going to have kittens, and he's a man!  Canelli now with a haymaker knocking Spitz into the corner, and unloading with rights and lefts and knees and REALLY HIGH KICKS!  She is not happy!  And neither am I!  What the hell Spitz!



Jeremy Tucker:

Its clear that despite her tough as nails attitude, Suzi Spitz cares about the SWAT fans, and if Radu Matei retains, then we get Lynn Brewster back calling the shots.  Regardless of what people think of Brewster, its important to have management that isn't in the KGB's pocket!  So as much as she wants the world title, Suzi Spitz is putting US fans first!  What an amazing champion!

*SUZI CHANTS*

Jeremy Tucker: Fired up by the chants, Suzi is trying to block, and get in a few shots of her own.  The Amazon and Pan Am champs brawling away in the corner!  Matei slowly showing signs of life too...

Andrew Fulton:

NOT THIS!  HE DOES IT ALL THE TIME!  Guy doesn't get a single move in all match, yet somehow walks away with the points!  I am so sick of this bastard!  And when he wins we get Lynn back too?  I'll RUN IN MYSELF TO STOP IT!

Jeremy Tucker:

Matei trying to pull himself up with the ropes, Timeless is crawling after him.  Matei using the ropes for---















! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !












*MEGA POP*


Jeremy Tucker: CENTIPEDE LOCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Andrew Fulton:

No sold by Timeless, who breaks the champ's move like it was nothing!  Matei is dead on his feet.  Timeless with the TURN ME LOOSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Suzi Spitz with a short arm closeline, no, Canelli ducks under - and the Amazon champ hits the WELCOME TO JERSEY SHORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Andrew Fulton:

COME ON REF!!!

Jeremy Tucker:

Kip Katt not knowing which to go for, we should really have two referees out here.  Counting Spitz shoulder's down...














ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


















TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


















THREE??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Andrew Fulton:

Spitz with a shoulder up!  That referee was out of position!  Joe should fire him!

Jeremy Tucker:

Timeless doesn't look pleased that his own pin on Matei was ignored...

Andrew Fulton:

Don't start problems where their are none.  Poor Timeless.  If he wins the world title, he can stop pretending the Hardcore belt is Technical.  I really hope he or Joanne win this.

Jeremy Tucker:

Timeless calling Canelli off of Spitz before a second finisher can tie up the title.  Canelli doesn't look like the type to take orders, which we've seen time and again, but Pesci on the outside acting as ring general keeping things smoothly.  The two with a DOUBLE SPINE BUSTER on Spitz.  Now hitting the Pan Am champ with a death drop.  If she has an interest in Matei retaining, in reinstating Brewster, than they want to take her out of the equation.

Andrew Fulton:

If she hadn't spent the last half hour defending that dead slug, we'd have a new world champ already!

Jeremy Tucker:

A super human effort by Spitz, but that SPIKED PILEDRIVER seems to have taken all the fight out of her.  Now the KGB members turning to the downed Matei, and Timeless suggesting something... Turner shoving Matei into Canelli, wanting her to hold the champ for---













! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

*OUT OF THIS WORLD HEAT*


Andrew Fulton: UM.  Well... there have been rumours.



Jeremy Tucker:

What the hell are we seeing... referee Kip Katt looks ready to call a DQ, and Pesci cursing him down.  But... christ... even Timeless looking sick.  Joanne Canelli is biting... hell practically ripping out the THROAT of the world champion.

Andrew Fulton:

Pesci and Timeless yelling um... I don't think she can hear them... Canelli just going into a total blood lust.

Jeremy Tucker:

Fangs sunk DEEP into Matei's throat.  I didn't think he had much blood left in him after those brutal belt shots earlier, but Canelli is quenching her thirst.  And... I thought it was an act... but those eyes.... I don't know what she is, but the New Jersey Devil is EVIL.

Andrew Fulton:

While Joanne Canelli promotes the Helloween Cup with her awesome vampire impression... that's all it is... um... yeah.  Making sure that Matei needs a toe tag at the end of the night.  While the Amazon champion guts Unbreakable M, Timeless uses the distraction to jump on Spitz.  His eye is always on the prize, moving from Hardcore into the world scene!  HERE WE GO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!





















ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

























TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



























THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*OMG*

Jeremy Tucker:

Spitz with a foot in the ropes!

Andrew Fulton:

TIMELESS TAKES SPITZ DOWN WITH A TURN ME LOOSE!!!!!  Pesci yelling something on the outside, and Canelli finally able to pull herself off Matei.  He must be empty.  From the looks of the canvas, I'd say empty.

Jeremy Tucker:

Timeless now putting Spitz in the TURNABOUT, and Canelli joining him... hits Spitz with her KISS THE RINGS!!!!!!!!!

Andrew Fulton:

Well that knocked Spitz RIGHT OUT!  Now Katt is going to have to check that she's been K.O.ed the old fashion way... 

Jeremy Tucker:

Timeless doesn't look to pleased with that, and Canelli turning to Matei - BULLS EYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!














! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Jeremy Tucker: CONNECTS!  AND THERE'S THE COVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

























ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!












Timeless lets go of the Turnabout to break the pin...













TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!















He is no where near it though.



















THREE?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????















! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !



Andrew Fulton:

WHAT?  Katt claiming that was a kickout, but I think Matei is just in the middle of a death spasm from all the blood that Canelli drank.

Jeremy Tucker: Canelli turning to Timeless who is innocently saying that he wasn't planning to break the pin, and that he was just rushing over to congratulate her.  Canelli doesn't look pleased or impressed.  Trouble in paradise!

Andrew Fulton: Stop that!  Can we just focus on how shitty officiating kept the Amazon champ from being the world champ a second ago?

Jeremy Tucker: He kicked out!

Andrew Fulton: Not for long.  Pesci getting the two to put their differences aside.  Double DDT on Spitz.  Now Canelli hitting Spitz with the Bite the curb, while Timeless goes after Matei with a------ oh no!

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !


*I'M GOING HOME TO MAKE A BABY POP*

Jeremy Tucker: DOUBLE LEG TAKEDOWN!!!!!  Matei somehow taking Timeless over with a double leg takedown........... but not really having the strength to follow that up with anything.

Andrew Fulton: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Joe Pesci <so loud its picked up on camera>: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Andrew Fulton: Timeless getting back up, Matei hanging onto his ankles, but that's about all the big bastard has left in him.  Timeless looking to finish this before Canelli can take out Spitz.  And...

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

*FUCK YEAH*

Jeremy Tucker: Radu Matei again pulling Timeless down by the ankles.  Trying to stagger up.

Andrew Fulton: Cute trick, but he's dead on his feet, he can't even stand.

Jeremy Tucker: Matei staggering off the ropes, not even sure if he's conscious, and dragging Timeless with him.  Spinning.

Andrew Fulton: He looked pretty dizzy before he started that, hey Joanne, finish---

Jeremy Tucker: Matei with a giant swing...

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

Jeremy Tucker: Joanne Canelli leaving Suzi Spitz who is quite knocked out, to save Timeless!  Ducks - almost got taken out.  He's really spinning.

! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

7
8
9

Jeremy Tucker: The crowd counting along as Matei keeps spinning Timeless around...  Canelli again tries to shoot in, but being kept at bay...



14
15
17

Jeremy Tucker: Matei almost losing his footing, he is dead.  Canelli shoots in ag---


*TWACK*


Andrew Fulton: NO!


Jeremy Tucker: HEADS COLLIDE!  Canelli is lucky she wasn't decapitated, but the force sends the eyes rolling back in her head, and she just slumped out onto the floor!

Roxy <to Joe>: DO SOMETHING!

Joe Pesci <to Andrew>: DO SOMETHING!

Andrew Fulton <to Jeremy Tucker>: DO SOMETHING!

Jeremy Tucker: I am.  I'm enjoying the match.  Rude and Reno checking on Canelli out on the floor, trying to get her some smelling salts.  Pesci getting up on the ring apron...


! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !


Jeremy Tucker: AND MATEI LETS HIM FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#CRASH#

Jeremy Tucker: TIMELESS SENT FLYING, CRASHING INTO PESCI, AND BOTH COLLAPSING INTO RENO AND RUDE - A MESS OF BODIES ON THE OUTSIDE, AND MATEI CAN BARELY STAND, HE'S DIZZY BUT THAT CONCUSSION MEANT HE ALREADY WAS!  Just him and Suzi, and she is OUT!

Andrew Fulton: FUCKING BREWSTER IS COMING BACK!

Jeremy Tucker: Matei crawling over to Spitz.  No one to stop him.

Andrew Fulton: THIS ISN'T FAIR!

Jeremy Tucker: Matei grabbing Spitz and drops her to the canvas...






















ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


















Paul Soutter and the Fairtex Brothers charge out of the back.
















TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



















The rest of the KGB is halfway down the aisle.
































THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


DING!!!!!!!!!!


DING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


DING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*MONSTER POP*


Jeremy Tucker: ...

Andrew Fulton: ...

Jeremy Tucker: He did it!  I can't believe that Radu Matei did it...



The KGB stop dead in their tracks.


Frank Salazar: THE WINNER OF THIS MATCH AS THE RESULT OF A PINFALL...



















AND *NEW* WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION












SUZI

SPITZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*SUZI CHANTS ERUPT*

Jeremy Tucker: Radu Matei PULLED Suzi Spitz on top of him.  She is still out like a light.  Lost the world title rather than have Lynn Brewster come back as General Manager.

Andrew Fulton: He hates Brewster that much.

Jeremy Tucker: Nah, he said it himself, if Brewster came back she would still be a slave to the KGB.  Might even make her life worse.  No, Matei was beat at the start of the show, no way he was continuing, and if it wasn't Spitz, it would have been Timeless or Canelli that put him down.  We have just spent Spitz spend over THIRTY MINUTES going TOE TO TOE with the Amazon and Hardcore champion, keeping Matei from losing, not going for the win even when she probably could have.  The torch has been passed here tonight, and I for one can't think of a better world champion than Suzi Spitz.

Andrew Fulton: Joe is REALLY not going to like this.  ...when he wakes up.

Barely able to move, Radu Matei collects the bloody world title, and crawls over to the Pan Am champion.  The world champion.

Around ringside a dozen angry eyes stare at the broken Idol and the new champion.  Suzi Spitz holds up the world title as the crowd chants her name.

"SUZI!"
"SUZI!"
"SUZI!"
"SUZI!"
"SUZI!"
"SUZI!!!!!!!!!!!!"