Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Nov 11, 2019 3:36:52 GMT -5
I am, at present, about four pages into the writing of the main event. I just wanted to continue to keep everyone updated as I progress. It’s almost 430 here so i’m Gonna grab some sleep
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fowler
.::XHF Competitor::.
Posts: 159
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Post by fowler on Nov 18, 2019 8:20:24 GMT -5
Any more updates guys??
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Post by Frank Windsor on Nov 18, 2019 15:24:41 GMT -5
What fowler said
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Post by tuckerblane on Nov 19, 2019 20:49:37 GMT -5
What Frank said
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Post by robriot on Nov 21, 2019 5:50:47 GMT -5
I spoke to Tom and Dwayne yesterday and both of the guys have things going on right now that are keeping them away from the site. They don't want to close, but if the place is staying open they're likely going to need some help if people have the motivation and time. I'm willing to pitch in as and where I can
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Post by Frank Windsor on Nov 21, 2019 12:40:59 GMT -5
I've kicked off some stuff on boards so lets get active while we wait
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Post by Chuckles on Nov 21, 2019 21:02:01 GMT -5
I know I am new here. I know I just started. I have time. Send me an example of what you want written, Send me a project load and some notes, and put me to work. I can take some time as staff if you need help. I joined the efed to efed. I don't care too much which side of the ring i'm on. Toss me in a suit. Make me an enforcer. If you need help instead of another wrestler, I can do that. As long as you stay a part of it? I am volunteering to help. But just let me know if it's burn out cause no one can fix burnout save the person burning out.
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Post by tuckerblane on Nov 22, 2019 13:45:54 GMT -5
I spoke to Tom and Dwayne yesterday and both of the guys have things going on right now that are keeping them away from the site. They don't want to close, but if the place is staying open they're likely going to need some help if people have the motivation and time. I'm willing to pitch in as and where I can I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m cool with waiting.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 22, 2019 19:32:50 GMT -5
Where to start?
I guess Sorry is as good a spot as any. I shut down guys, I have no excuse. I have been honest up until now so I may as well continue that trend.
This past spring I was supposed to take over the job above mine, but long story short, the company I work for is insane. At one point they actually thought I would leave my significant other as she was coming out of surgery to call them about something that was completely unimportant. So I declined the job and they found some other sucker, literally.
Flash forward seven months or so and I have way more responsibility then the other three people at my level. I have voiced my concerns multiple times and had them validated each time...with zero changes.
Add, the challenges of having kids, day to day life and the rest of the issues I faced when I was away for my brother’s wedding...and I just didn’t cope well. Or at all really.
I’m from a small place and have always been a “i’ll Get through it” and “just keep going” type of person...which was fine...until I shit down shortly after my last message.
I didn’t want to do anything...anything. Social activities, friends, even something as simple as playing a video game was a chore I forced myself through just to distract myself...I barely spoke to Tom or Vas or anyone, even Rachel...I never thought anything of it other than “just get through it”...until it all came to a head this past Tuesday evening at work when I guess I had, what most would describe as, an anxiety attack at work.
I was, as usual, being forced to do way more work than I should have because if I didn’t it wouldn’t get done. Then someone made the mistake of accusing me of not doing my work...I lost it.
It felt like someone poured hot water over my head. It started at the top of my head...I became hot suddenly as it smashed over me. The moment the heat hit my chest, I felt like I couldn’t breathe and basically ran off to find an office to hide in until I gained some of my faculities back.
I had never experienced anything even remotely approaching this before Tuesday, and I honestly hope I never do again. I texted Rachel and told her I was worried about what happened but I couldn’t leave because there was literally no one else to run the place solo. So I gritted through it as best I could and messaged the completely unqualified ‘supervisor’ I have and told him I would be seeking help. My doctor appointment is this Tuesday morning...
Why am telling you guys all this? Because I want pity? Because I don’t want anyone mad or disappointed? Because I feel guilty?
I don’t know why honestly, I should probably keep it to myself, but I’m not ready to give up on efedding and the some twelve plus years I have written with some of the best people I have been fortunate enough to meet.
Since Tuesday night, Tom, Rob Vas and Will have been in contact with me and I see above that you folks are better about this than I probably deserve...I am truly sorry. And I realize I have said that a lot lately, but I think I understand now why I have such a difficult time of late...I would say what came out Tuesday evening has been brewing for the best part of a year...now i’m Able to see it a bit clearer and realize I That not only do I need help, but that I need to ask for it before it’s too late. I have my baby’s birthday party tomorrow but am off for survivor series Sunday and intend to finish the main event then and take stock of what is needed to get the show out.
After that, I understand if people leave or whatnot. I just need to finish what I started and I truly wish to continue but I can’t do this without Tom and maybe some help from a few others too(if you guys are willing to read this far maybe we can work something out). I don’t want to give up...I just didn’t take care of myself and it got ugly. I am truly sorry. Thank you for reading this.
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Post by tuckerblane on Nov 23, 2019 13:10:45 GMT -5
I can relate all too well. I know exactly what it’s like to be completely overburdened and have everything come crashing down on you.
It certainly sounds like an anxiety attack and that’s never healthy. I get one about every 5 years. It’s never fun and I truly feel sorry for those that have to live with actual anxiety disorders.
As for efedding? I’m 37. Been doing this off and on since my first fed on AOL email back in 1996. Anyone else remember those? The biggest hurdle people have with running a successful fed is the need to constantly crank out shows and new content every week. They want to act like this is a real wrestling promotion. But real companies have a dozen or more writers all working together to carefully craft a live drama. Plus they get feedback from all of the higher ups every step of the way. You can’t do that with an efed. It’s not realistic.
That’s main reason why when me and Juice first started PWA we were summarizing the results. If something needed to be fleshed out we would do it justice but preferred to keep it under 10 sentences for the most part. Cranking out 20,000 words a week is more than what professional journalists do! Hell, even professional authors hardly publish more than 1 book a year without farming out the work.
My suggestion would be to go big for the main event. The top of the card deserves that much. But for the non-important matches? Keep it short and sweet. I’m not a top guy anymore. I’m not chasing titles and stroking my Internet cock about how great I am because I have this or that fictional championship title or because I did a 7500 word RP. Fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever written one more than 3000 words! 😂 And that’s pushing it for me!
Maybe change the timeline from every other week to every third week. Or even once a month. This is supposed to be a hobby. Not a full time job.
Just take care of yourself, brother man, and if you ever just need someone to listen hit me up. I’ve got a background in psychotherapy but I’m not a doctor. I worked for 3 years in an psych ward and picked up a lot of tools along the way. Sometimes the best tool is a sympathetic ear.
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Post by robriot on Nov 23, 2019 13:18:12 GMT -5
We're all behind you Dwayne. All of us. You know this. And we're all happy to wait for as long as it takes.
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fowler
.::XHF Competitor::.
Posts: 159
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Post by fowler on Nov 25, 2019 6:20:22 GMT -5
Glad you are able to share this with us Bro. I think pretty much all of us here have had to deal with mental health over our lives and particularly the last few years. A bit like you I never had to worry about this stuff, but then I fell in love with a girl with PTSD and suddenly found myself having to be supportive of her but also realising that I have my own shit to deal with. Then adding work stress on top just goes straight ahead and fucks you.
Having this group of friends where we are able to share this kind of stuff is going to be really healthy for us all I think. We can enjoy our fedding, and support each other, the fact results come later is a willing sacrifice for that no doubt!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Nov 25, 2019 18:27:27 GMT -5
I just want to start by saying thank you to everyone for being supportive and acknowledging this whole thing as I attempt to get back to whatever I call normal lol
I am back to work on the writing as of last night. I didn’t get as much done as I wanted to, but I got back to it and i’m Calling that a partial success because I felt good about it.
I won’t get much done tonight as I need to get some rest as I have my doctor appointment to truly start dealing with whatever caused me to lose control this past Tuesday. I’m not expecting a miracle cure or anything but I have drug and therapy coverage through my benefits so I have lots of options and will be aiming for as little drugs as possible. Thanks again guys.
Now I will mention that should anyone, especially new folks, be wanting to get something on the show. There is an opportunity to get some form of debut in as I finish up. I’ll l ave that open to the roster in case anyone has a stroke of genius they want to act on
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Post by tuckerblane on Nov 26, 2019 2:51:27 GMT -5
It was most likely brought on by too much stress. That’s usually how mine happen. You need better coping skills is all. No need to start taking benzos. Although I hear Canadian bud is fire! A mild indica strain used at night to help wind you down would help with releasing whatever’s bothering you and allow you to sleep better. Your quality of sleep, not just the hours you get, plays a big role in mental hygiene.
But if you don’t want to go the Tucker Blane route (and I wouldn’t blame you) then I’d suggest learning to meditate. Even if it’s just for a few minutes a day. A mindfulness meditation would have a similar effect as getting a good buzz on.
Talk to your therapist about it. I never explored mindfulness as much as I should have when I was doing hypnosis sessions on a regular basis. I focused on different areas of personal growth. If you’re interested we can do a video call sometime and do some light trance work. Get you introduced to altered conscious states and how to control them yourself. It’s a great way to explore deep inside yourself and learn some interesting shit about yourself.
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Post by Frank Windsor on Nov 29, 2019 12:47:29 GMT -5
Hope everything is getting better for you Dwayne.
Have we had any sightings of the other half of the Dynamic Duo?
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