God Fuck No (Storm RP #4/Rumble)
Apr 5, 2020 15:14:31 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer and mosler like this
Post by ForeverKuroi on Apr 5, 2020 15:14:31 GMT -5
The scene fades into view where Michael Storm is in front of his modest Honda Civic. The camera is fixed on a mount that is right below the rear view mirror. He looks left and right on the road, seeing both all lanes on this road as well as the one facing the opposite direction.
Storm: At least the roads are clear. All because of this COVID-19 stuff, right?
Michael Storm attempts half of a shrug before continuing.
Storm: I hear that they call it COVID-19 because this strain was developed in 2019. Want to know what else has 19 letters?
He eyes the camera for a quick moment.
Storm: Rat "God Fuck No" Bastard.
He pauses for a moment, taking a moment to switch lanes and circle around a slow driver in front of him.
Storm: And that's how I feel every time I look at him. He's disgusting. He's revolting and I swear that although it's possible, I can smell the stench of cheap booze and hooker piss through the camera. It's enough to make me gag just looking at him. I am honestly not looking forward to sharing the ring with you. I only hope that the drugs and alcohol that take over the majority of your life hit you hard. Hard enough where you aren't aware of the date and time. I would love it if you missed the show. But on the off chance where you are sober enough to show up when the time hits, just know that you'll be the one that I'm focusing on. Now Anthony Caffrey, the man who escaped AWF to find a stage low enough with wrestlers low enough to sustain his wins. It'll be you. Because even though Anthony Caffrey doesn't know when to shut the fuck up, he at least smells like he knows how basic hygiene works. In fact, Rat, you strike me as the kind of fellow who says he uses Dove body wash, but actually grabs a real life bird and drags its corpse along your body. It'd certainly explain the bird flu I'm worried about getting when you head into the Rumble.
Michael Storm scrunches his nose in utter disgust.
Storm: We all know you're the first ever X*Crown Champion and we all know your legacy, but that's a big part of why you don't really stand a chance. Let's face facts. This is wrestling. Wrestling isn't like being a teacher or a lawyer. You can't keep doing it until the day you die. Being in my mid-thirties, I'm not too far from my retirement age. You? You must be lying about you and who you are. The XHF website says that...
Michael Storm huffs.
Storm: Oh, I'm sure Mongo really wants me to specify - "XHFNetwork.com" says that you're 38. That can't be right. You look like you're at least 50. People at the age you really are can't wrestle. Not well. Not at their prime. I'd say at the age you claim to be, just maybe. And that's only if you've been taking good care of your body. I've seen you since your return to the XHF - now the XHF Network, and I can tell that you have NOT been taking good care of your body. It's obvious that you drink, you sure look like you smoke - both cigarettes and likely other things as well - and... Wait.
Michael Storm actually slows down and pulls over to the breakdown lane.
Storm: How did you actually pass the wellness plan? Did you bribe someone? Bring in synthetic urine? Do we even have one anymore? If we do have a working one, there's no way you'd be back. Perhaps that's why you've been the scum of the AWF. I'll explain.
Storm signals and gets back onto the road.
Storm: You've been back from over fifteen years of a drunk stupor. It's been that long since you left the XHF. Now that you're back, you haven't been able to do quite much. Now I know you'll be scratching the back of your head and say that you've had an undefeated record since your return and you know what? You'd be right. I know my record isn't as spotless. But I've lost against people who are at the peak of their conditioning and the peak of their career. You? You're winning matches against nobodies. Sylvester Calvin? Come on. You've beat a masked idiot and a freak of nature in a ladder match for your shot at the lowest belt that the AWF has and you're in for the toughest fight of your AWF career against a character who thinks that we're in Outback Australia instead of a wrestling ring. That guy might actually try to peg you with his thumb and the only reason why you'd not be fazed by that is because you look like the sick freak who's into that kind of thing.
That's when Storm takes a moment to glance at the camera.
Storm: Obviously the pegging isn't the issue. It's the liking it in the middle of the wrestling ring during an event. Don't go after me for that, Ryan. I'm sure you can tell the difference between me clarifying myself and Rat being openly homophobic to you. In fact, I was actually quite surprised that when Rat attacked me, he didn't mention anything about me being black. But I'll remove you too, Ryan. Don't you worry. It's just that you losing has absolutely nothing to do with your sexuality.
He looks back at the camera and continues.
Storm: But back to you - You have a major delusion, Rat. Your delusion of superiority. Your delusion of strength. You're quick to mention you're one of a less than half dozen to hold the X*Crown twice, but you're also one of them to lose it twice. If you think you're that great, look to me. I'm one of two X*Crown Champions to never lose that belt other than by the belt being vacated. Coincidentally, the other one is also named Storm, but there's no relation there. I also didn't lose the X*Crown because I didn't care about the XHF or never bothered to show up. I've been fighting for my life and when I've faced through significant measures like that, you? Well, you look like death. And I've beaten death before. You on the other hand?
Storm points to the camera.
Storm: Do you even know who you're facing? You keep mentioning Scorpion, someone who I'm convinced is not even in this Rumble. Your eye isn't on the ball. You're trash. Absolute trash. You're stuck in the middle of a nowhere garbage town with weird employees who won't do their job and then there's you, who basically isn't with reality. These are the people you associate yourself with. And as such, this is the person that you've become. You will not be the X*Crown Champion. The XHF has progressed since the days where you ruled as king. And not only the wrestling have gotten better, you have gotten worse. You're also a huge magnet to yourself.
Michael Storm pauses as he drives off the highway and onto a main road.
Storm: Just like Anthony Caffrey uses his huge ego to attract this unwanted attention to the ring, your offense body odor will attract people to you when you enter the ring. You both share a lot of the same qualities. You both are egotistical douchebags and you think that everyone is underneath you. Do you think that I am not going to win this Rumble because you find my promos boring, Mr. Five Second Attention Span? Is Ryan going to lose because you think that because he's not heterosexual and he's teamed with Seth Dillinger, that they're sleeping with one another? What happens in the ring is the only thing that's going to matter, Rat. Neither you nor Caffrey has a lick of tactic and that will be the undoing to both of you. Me? I've been thinking about this. I've been thinking about how I'm going to win this. It's simple.
Michael Storm pulls into a parking lot. The camera doesn't show what building the parking lot is associated with. He powers the car down but stays in for a moment.
Storm: I'm going to come in, and take down those who immediately notice me and take me down as a threat. But me being fresher, I'll stop that. I might even eliminate one or two. Then I'm going to lay low. I'll still oppose anyone who's approaching me, but I'm not going to yell or talk big. I'm not going to bring more attention to me than I need to in order to win. When you show to the ring, I'll eliminate you. It might be as simple as me throwing a bag of crack outside. Of course, I wouldn't knowingly bring illegal substances to the arena. That'd get me disqualified. Or not. Fuck, I don't know if the wellness policy applies anymore with you. I'll just bring powdered sugar in a bag. You won't know the difference. I'm sure you'll try to get high off it anyway.
Michael Storm opens the door of his car and takes off the seat belt. The camera only sees Storm's hand as he removes the camera from the fixture. Storm turns around to show...
Storm: Here's my stop. I'm just the local gym I was able to borrow. Just for free and unlike you at the Rumble, free from any diseases. See, instead of drinking my recommended calorie amount in alcohol and spending my day shoplifting from the pits of society, I'm putting the best me forward. It's just the shame of being the worst you I could ever see. Rat, assuming you win that XHF Phoenix Championship on Saturday, know this.
That's when Michael Storm brings the camera back to his face.
Storm: Your end streak ends here.
The camera stays at Storm's face as he presses the end button, ending the scene.
Storm: At least the roads are clear. All because of this COVID-19 stuff, right?
Michael Storm attempts half of a shrug before continuing.
Storm: I hear that they call it COVID-19 because this strain was developed in 2019. Want to know what else has 19 letters?
He eyes the camera for a quick moment.
Storm: Rat "God Fuck No" Bastard.
He pauses for a moment, taking a moment to switch lanes and circle around a slow driver in front of him.
Storm: And that's how I feel every time I look at him. He's disgusting. He's revolting and I swear that although it's possible, I can smell the stench of cheap booze and hooker piss through the camera. It's enough to make me gag just looking at him. I am honestly not looking forward to sharing the ring with you. I only hope that the drugs and alcohol that take over the majority of your life hit you hard. Hard enough where you aren't aware of the date and time. I would love it if you missed the show. But on the off chance where you are sober enough to show up when the time hits, just know that you'll be the one that I'm focusing on. Now Anthony Caffrey, the man who escaped AWF to find a stage low enough with wrestlers low enough to sustain his wins. It'll be you. Because even though Anthony Caffrey doesn't know when to shut the fuck up, he at least smells like he knows how basic hygiene works. In fact, Rat, you strike me as the kind of fellow who says he uses Dove body wash, but actually grabs a real life bird and drags its corpse along your body. It'd certainly explain the bird flu I'm worried about getting when you head into the Rumble.
Michael Storm scrunches his nose in utter disgust.
Storm: We all know you're the first ever X*Crown Champion and we all know your legacy, but that's a big part of why you don't really stand a chance. Let's face facts. This is wrestling. Wrestling isn't like being a teacher or a lawyer. You can't keep doing it until the day you die. Being in my mid-thirties, I'm not too far from my retirement age. You? You must be lying about you and who you are. The XHF website says that...
Michael Storm huffs.
Storm: Oh, I'm sure Mongo really wants me to specify - "XHFNetwork.com" says that you're 38. That can't be right. You look like you're at least 50. People at the age you really are can't wrestle. Not well. Not at their prime. I'd say at the age you claim to be, just maybe. And that's only if you've been taking good care of your body. I've seen you since your return to the XHF - now the XHF Network, and I can tell that you have NOT been taking good care of your body. It's obvious that you drink, you sure look like you smoke - both cigarettes and likely other things as well - and... Wait.
Michael Storm actually slows down and pulls over to the breakdown lane.
Storm: How did you actually pass the wellness plan? Did you bribe someone? Bring in synthetic urine? Do we even have one anymore? If we do have a working one, there's no way you'd be back. Perhaps that's why you've been the scum of the AWF. I'll explain.
Storm signals and gets back onto the road.
Storm: You've been back from over fifteen years of a drunk stupor. It's been that long since you left the XHF. Now that you're back, you haven't been able to do quite much. Now I know you'll be scratching the back of your head and say that you've had an undefeated record since your return and you know what? You'd be right. I know my record isn't as spotless. But I've lost against people who are at the peak of their conditioning and the peak of their career. You? You're winning matches against nobodies. Sylvester Calvin? Come on. You've beat a masked idiot and a freak of nature in a ladder match for your shot at the lowest belt that the AWF has and you're in for the toughest fight of your AWF career against a character who thinks that we're in Outback Australia instead of a wrestling ring. That guy might actually try to peg you with his thumb and the only reason why you'd not be fazed by that is because you look like the sick freak who's into that kind of thing.
That's when Storm takes a moment to glance at the camera.
Storm: Obviously the pegging isn't the issue. It's the liking it in the middle of the wrestling ring during an event. Don't go after me for that, Ryan. I'm sure you can tell the difference between me clarifying myself and Rat being openly homophobic to you. In fact, I was actually quite surprised that when Rat attacked me, he didn't mention anything about me being black. But I'll remove you too, Ryan. Don't you worry. It's just that you losing has absolutely nothing to do with your sexuality.
He looks back at the camera and continues.
Storm: But back to you - You have a major delusion, Rat. Your delusion of superiority. Your delusion of strength. You're quick to mention you're one of a less than half dozen to hold the X*Crown twice, but you're also one of them to lose it twice. If you think you're that great, look to me. I'm one of two X*Crown Champions to never lose that belt other than by the belt being vacated. Coincidentally, the other one is also named Storm, but there's no relation there. I also didn't lose the X*Crown because I didn't care about the XHF or never bothered to show up. I've been fighting for my life and when I've faced through significant measures like that, you? Well, you look like death. And I've beaten death before. You on the other hand?
Storm points to the camera.
Storm: Do you even know who you're facing? You keep mentioning Scorpion, someone who I'm convinced is not even in this Rumble. Your eye isn't on the ball. You're trash. Absolute trash. You're stuck in the middle of a nowhere garbage town with weird employees who won't do their job and then there's you, who basically isn't with reality. These are the people you associate yourself with. And as such, this is the person that you've become. You will not be the X*Crown Champion. The XHF has progressed since the days where you ruled as king. And not only the wrestling have gotten better, you have gotten worse. You're also a huge magnet to yourself.
Michael Storm pauses as he drives off the highway and onto a main road.
Storm: Just like Anthony Caffrey uses his huge ego to attract this unwanted attention to the ring, your offense body odor will attract people to you when you enter the ring. You both share a lot of the same qualities. You both are egotistical douchebags and you think that everyone is underneath you. Do you think that I am not going to win this Rumble because you find my promos boring, Mr. Five Second Attention Span? Is Ryan going to lose because you think that because he's not heterosexual and he's teamed with Seth Dillinger, that they're sleeping with one another? What happens in the ring is the only thing that's going to matter, Rat. Neither you nor Caffrey has a lick of tactic and that will be the undoing to both of you. Me? I've been thinking about this. I've been thinking about how I'm going to win this. It's simple.
Michael Storm pulls into a parking lot. The camera doesn't show what building the parking lot is associated with. He powers the car down but stays in for a moment.
Storm: I'm going to come in, and take down those who immediately notice me and take me down as a threat. But me being fresher, I'll stop that. I might even eliminate one or two. Then I'm going to lay low. I'll still oppose anyone who's approaching me, but I'm not going to yell or talk big. I'm not going to bring more attention to me than I need to in order to win. When you show to the ring, I'll eliminate you. It might be as simple as me throwing a bag of crack outside. Of course, I wouldn't knowingly bring illegal substances to the arena. That'd get me disqualified. Or not. Fuck, I don't know if the wellness policy applies anymore with you. I'll just bring powdered sugar in a bag. You won't know the difference. I'm sure you'll try to get high off it anyway.
Michael Storm opens the door of his car and takes off the seat belt. The camera only sees Storm's hand as he removes the camera from the fixture. Storm turns around to show...
Storm: Here's my stop. I'm just the local gym I was able to borrow. Just for free and unlike you at the Rumble, free from any diseases. See, instead of drinking my recommended calorie amount in alcohol and spending my day shoplifting from the pits of society, I'm putting the best me forward. It's just the shame of being the worst you I could ever see. Rat, assuming you win that XHF Phoenix Championship on Saturday, know this.
That's when Michael Storm brings the camera back to his face.
Storm: Your end streak ends here.
The camera stays at Storm's face as he presses the end button, ending the scene.
