It's awesome not to be Awesome (Storm RP #10/Rumble)
Apr 14, 2020 21:02:20 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer likes this
Post by ForeverKuroi on Apr 14, 2020 21:02:20 GMT -5
The scene fades in. It's a couple of hours after the events that transpired in the last promo of Michael Storm, I Will Torch You Alive (Storm RP #9/Rumble). Still too dark to see what's going on, there's a pained groan that radiates out. In view, the camera sees a large needle going into the arm of Michael Storm. His doctor is right next to him.
Doctor: Tetanus shots hurt, huh?
Storm: Do you really care if it hurts or are you just using that question as a jumping off point for your rants?
Doctor: Of course it hurts. So does smashing everything in your home just because someone got on your bad side.
Storm: Why is it that every time that I come see you, you always have to bitch at me about something?
Doctor: Why is it that every time you come see me, it's always because you did or are planning on doing something stupid? All my other patients come up to me because they have a fever or a cold or because they're here for their annual physical. Normal stuff. Why don't you come here for your physicals more often? The last time you had your physical was...
The doctor sits down and spins his chair to a computer nearby. He begins navigating through some internet portal.
Doctor: February of 2017. Where were you February of 2018?
Storm: I was dead in February of 2018.
The doctor's "A-ha!" moment quickly faded and his face clearly showed it.
Doctor: Well I mean... Yeah, I suppose that's a good point. When you get back to the front desk, go schedule the dang appointment and until then, promise me you won't do anything stupid.
The doctor places a gauze and then begins to wrap up some bandages around Michael Storm's previously bloodied hand.
Storm: You know I'm not going to do that. Fuck, I don't even know why you bitch so god damn much. I'm paying for you to do your job. Just shut the fuck up, do what you're going to do and just send me on my way.
Doctor: Do you think I became a doctor because I'm in it for the money?
Storm: Well I'm not so sure I see too many homeless doctors out on the street begging for my loose change.
Doctor: Come on, now. Don't be so dense that you completely ignore the possibility that I do what I do because I care about what happens to my patients. I had to spend four years for my undergraduate degree. I had to take the MCAT. I had to go to med school for four years. I went through residency training. I went through specialist training to be an intensivist. I could be making double the money I'm making now for half the training if I had chosen to be an engineer. Michael, for someone who likes to spend a lot of time criticizing doctors, you sure do know little to nothing about what it actually means to be a doctor. It'd be like me thinking all there is to wrestling is throwing karate chops all day.
Storm: I have honestly never thrown a karate chop in a single one of my matches ever, and I never plan on doing it. (OOC: Don't you fucking dare, Caff.)
The doctor shrugs as he finishes up bandaging up Storm's hand.
Doctor: Whatever. Anyway, now that you're done with that. Let's talk about some other things. First off, you never reported that major feverish episode you had in January. But being your doctor actually has me needing to pay attention to your wrestling matches. Now a fever shouldn't get as high as it was and you never came to any of your follow up appointments when you left the hospital last year. So what I got for you is a lab order to go downstairs. Get your blood drawn. We want to check your white cell count. We want to check your thyroid levels. We also want to check to see how your liver's doing and then based on what we find, I'm sure we'll know how to move forward from there.
Michael Storm gets up and begins walking out of the room.
Storm: Sounds good.
Doctor: Wait. You will need this sheet in order to-
Storm: Don't care.
The doctor closes behind Storm rather abruptly. The doctor exhales and face palms.
Doctor: He hasn't changed one bit.
Michael Storm looks in front of the camera as he walks down the stairs and shortly after, out of the building.
Storm: I know what you're thinking. I don't have the most awesome life in the world. Nope. Apparently that belongs to someone else. Who? Why, none other than Steve Awesome himself. He's done a lot in the XHF, long before it became the XHF Network. He was a two time XHF United States Champion, as well as the last ever XHF United States Championship. He was a one-time XHF Tag Team Champion, pairing up with the lesser known Jayson Matthews as a member of the Motor City Mafia. Hell, if you've ever heard of professional wrestling in the mid-2000s, you'd know Steve. He was, after all, Awesome.
Storm nods his head as he makes to a nearby bench. He sits down.
Storm: But this isn't the mid-2000s anymore, is it? Like he said, people want to know who he is, why he should be here and where he's been. Now I don't need to repeat everything that Chris Card said, because I'm not as grandiose and self loving like that egotistical masturbator is. No, we know where he's been. He's been in IWF. He's not the only original XHFer who's there. Spike Kane has been there. AJ Phoenix has been, if I'm not mistaken. And I don't even really blame them for going there. There's been a long time where the XHF has gone dark and they didn't provide them a proper home. The XHF isn't always there.
Michael Storm begins to lay back and spread his arms while in the middle of the bench.
Storm: The XHF is just better.
He pauses, allowing the silence to fill the air.
Storm: Bloody matches. Matches which test the extent of your skill and rumbles where we actually had over seventy-five people, if we're going to be nice and consider Copycat a person. Not so sure that's something the IWF can say. Now the XHF and the XHF Network has not always been there, but it's here now and still Steve Awesome hasn't chosen to call this place home. There's a reason for that. The IWF is where he's comfortable. The IWF is where he's the big shark. Do many veterans want to get sent back down to the war zone? Steve Awesome barely escaped from the XHF! He scraped and clawed to be able to hit a dropkick and now that the XHF Network is here, he's too scared to call this place home. All that we can offer him now is a match where he can pop in once a year in order to maintain relevancy. Just so he isn't asking himself who he is just like he did. I'm not even so sure Steve Awesome is the same wrestler I tangled with in the ropes fifteen years ago.
Storm cocks his head, gesturing to ask the audience to ponder that same question.
Storm: Things change in fifteen years. Since I left the XHF, I grew up. I'm not a kid anymore. I joined some other promotions. I invested in a business. Did well. Invested in another. Repeated the same process enough to become worth millions of dollars. Got back into wrestling. Died. Came back. Now I'm on my newest adventure. I found a grey hair in the mirror. I feel like something else happ- Oh, I almost forgot. I also got this.
Michael Storm raises his bandaged hand.
Storm: How about you, Steve? Is wrestling the same? Are you the same? Because from how it sounds like to me, you stopped wrestling and started a reality show. I remember back in the day, we did all our promos in the ring. I would go in, say something. Then you couldn't take it anymore. You decided to barge in on me and responded. And we'd go back and forth for a little. Now? It's a bit different. Something happens then you go into the interview box and commentated on what happened. Maybe I'm getting old. Maybe you're hanging onto your youth a bit hard, but it seems a bit... Weird. I mean, you're getting a bit old trying to hang onto the whole Jersey Shore feeling, aren't you? I mean, I couldn't think of anyone other than the teenagers or YouTube stars who would watch these shows and think that they can do four thousand push ups. I don't care how big your muscles are or how much you juice up. Maybe you're just trying to be a wise guy and get a couple of laughs, but if you're just trying to get a few laughs and turn into comedy relief, I have no idea what I'm doing wasting my time on you.
Making a 'tsk tsk' sound, Storm shakes his head.
Storm: But I don't want to think of you as a one hit wonder who used to hit blockbusters and now cameo in 'Direct to TV' films just to stay afloat. I want to think of you as someone who actually has something to give to professional wrestling. Because acting like The Real World, acting like you have SARS, this whole...
Storm sticks his arm out in front of the camera.
Storm: ...whatever you want to call it is not awesome. Nor is it Awesome. I understand you can't really understand the difference through audio, but I hope with my tone, you'll understand what I mean by that. You throw out the names of many of the people who will pop up in the Rumble, but you don't really talk about them. Hell, with as superficial as you are, I wouldn't be surprised if you superficially skimmed the list of advertised entrants and just threw out their names like you knew who they were. You weren't even there during the bulk of Rat Bastard's activity before he dropped off the face of the Earth - or as he likes to call it, a really fun Friday night. I mean, you knew who Chris Card was, but he's from IWF, so you don't get a point for that.
Michael Storm looks left and right then begins to shrug.
Storm: I mean, I don't follow with the IWF all that well, but I'm curious. Do you even wrestle? I'm not sure if that's what goes on there, and honestly, I don't know who you are anymore. You certainly aren't the Steve Awesome I once knew. You're like the stunt double of Awesome. Being all Hollywood and everything, I'm sure you know what I mean when I say that. You look kind of like him. Same hair. Same height. But you are in camera view within the XHF for short stints so that only anyone who spent enough time or has a keen enough eye would be able to tell that you aren't the same thing. So since you can't play the way the real Steve Awesome can, I'll be a little generous. Maybe a little philanthropic, as you claim to be. Here's some free advice.
Michael Storm lifts up two fingers.
Storm: Two pieces of advice, actually. If you want to win the XHF Rumble, give up now. Unless you're playing possum and in which case, bravo - you don't stand a chance. Now if you want to actually win the X*Crown Champion, then here's the perfect plan: Wait until someone really terrible wins. The whole idea of the X*Crown Championship is that only the strongest, the fastest... overall, only the best and most competent wrestler could hold it. Now with people like Rat Bastard winning, that's obviously not always the case. So once some simpleton or drunkard like Rat wins it, cash in the IWF Championship and challenge him then. Then buy a clothesline pin so you can't smell him and you might walk the X*Crown Champion.
Storm smirks to himself.
Storm: Now you might be telling yourself, "But Storm, the IWF is still alive!" Obviously, only dead promotions could have their most prestigious belt be offered toward the X*Crown Champion and of course, I'd never subject myself to watching that garbage to watch its death. I'd much rather at least get comedy relief from watching an episode of... whatever SWAT calls their shows. But if I'm right and it's still alive, you could just kill it. It's probably on its last leg anyway. I can't imagine anyone would want to stay there much longer. Maybe when Anthony Caffrey inevitably loses a match at SWAT and he's looking for the next place to call home, you could bring him there. Maybe he will kill IWF just like he killed AXW. Maybe being able to beat something would give him a piece of comfort, considering he needs every last ounce of boost for his self esteem. Steve, if you really consider yourself a philanthropist, it might be a good idea. You get to help someone, Caffrey - the depressed child - gets an extra bounce to his step, and IWF gets taken off life support to finally get that humane death it so desperately needs. It's a win / win / win. And no, you don't have to thank me.
Michael Storm actually winks to the camera.
Storm: Your name is Steve Awesome. You seem to be living an Awesome life. Well, I'm Michael Storm. My life fucking sucks, but I'm going to be the only one walking out as the XHF Rumble, as opposed to being thrown over the top ropes. And when I do, I'll be carrying the weight of twenty one championship belts over my body. Now I have to say that, Steve, is pretty damn awesome.
Michael Storm sports a genuine smile as the scene fades to a close.
Doctor: Tetanus shots hurt, huh?
Storm: Do you really care if it hurts or are you just using that question as a jumping off point for your rants?
Doctor: Of course it hurts. So does smashing everything in your home just because someone got on your bad side.
Storm: Why is it that every time that I come see you, you always have to bitch at me about something?
Doctor: Why is it that every time you come see me, it's always because you did or are planning on doing something stupid? All my other patients come up to me because they have a fever or a cold or because they're here for their annual physical. Normal stuff. Why don't you come here for your physicals more often? The last time you had your physical was...
The doctor sits down and spins his chair to a computer nearby. He begins navigating through some internet portal.
Doctor: February of 2017. Where were you February of 2018?
Storm: I was dead in February of 2018.
The doctor's "A-ha!" moment quickly faded and his face clearly showed it.
Doctor: Well I mean... Yeah, I suppose that's a good point. When you get back to the front desk, go schedule the dang appointment and until then, promise me you won't do anything stupid.
The doctor places a gauze and then begins to wrap up some bandages around Michael Storm's previously bloodied hand.
Storm: You know I'm not going to do that. Fuck, I don't even know why you bitch so god damn much. I'm paying for you to do your job. Just shut the fuck up, do what you're going to do and just send me on my way.
Doctor: Do you think I became a doctor because I'm in it for the money?
Storm: Well I'm not so sure I see too many homeless doctors out on the street begging for my loose change.
Doctor: Come on, now. Don't be so dense that you completely ignore the possibility that I do what I do because I care about what happens to my patients. I had to spend four years for my undergraduate degree. I had to take the MCAT. I had to go to med school for four years. I went through residency training. I went through specialist training to be an intensivist. I could be making double the money I'm making now for half the training if I had chosen to be an engineer. Michael, for someone who likes to spend a lot of time criticizing doctors, you sure do know little to nothing about what it actually means to be a doctor. It'd be like me thinking all there is to wrestling is throwing karate chops all day.
Storm: I have honestly never thrown a karate chop in a single one of my matches ever, and I never plan on doing it. (OOC: Don't you fucking dare, Caff.)
The doctor shrugs as he finishes up bandaging up Storm's hand.
Doctor: Whatever. Anyway, now that you're done with that. Let's talk about some other things. First off, you never reported that major feverish episode you had in January. But being your doctor actually has me needing to pay attention to your wrestling matches. Now a fever shouldn't get as high as it was and you never came to any of your follow up appointments when you left the hospital last year. So what I got for you is a lab order to go downstairs. Get your blood drawn. We want to check your white cell count. We want to check your thyroid levels. We also want to check to see how your liver's doing and then based on what we find, I'm sure we'll know how to move forward from there.
Michael Storm gets up and begins walking out of the room.
Storm: Sounds good.
Doctor: Wait. You will need this sheet in order to-
Storm: Don't care.
The doctor closes behind Storm rather abruptly. The doctor exhales and face palms.
Doctor: He hasn't changed one bit.
Michael Storm looks in front of the camera as he walks down the stairs and shortly after, out of the building.
Storm: I know what you're thinking. I don't have the most awesome life in the world. Nope. Apparently that belongs to someone else. Who? Why, none other than Steve Awesome himself. He's done a lot in the XHF, long before it became the XHF Network. He was a two time XHF United States Champion, as well as the last ever XHF United States Championship. He was a one-time XHF Tag Team Champion, pairing up with the lesser known Jayson Matthews as a member of the Motor City Mafia. Hell, if you've ever heard of professional wrestling in the mid-2000s, you'd know Steve. He was, after all, Awesome.
Storm nods his head as he makes to a nearby bench. He sits down.
Storm: But this isn't the mid-2000s anymore, is it? Like he said, people want to know who he is, why he should be here and where he's been. Now I don't need to repeat everything that Chris Card said, because I'm not as grandiose and self loving like that egotistical masturbator is. No, we know where he's been. He's been in IWF. He's not the only original XHFer who's there. Spike Kane has been there. AJ Phoenix has been, if I'm not mistaken. And I don't even really blame them for going there. There's been a long time where the XHF has gone dark and they didn't provide them a proper home. The XHF isn't always there.
Michael Storm begins to lay back and spread his arms while in the middle of the bench.
Storm: The XHF is just better.
He pauses, allowing the silence to fill the air.
Storm: Bloody matches. Matches which test the extent of your skill and rumbles where we actually had over seventy-five people, if we're going to be nice and consider Copycat a person. Not so sure that's something the IWF can say. Now the XHF and the XHF Network has not always been there, but it's here now and still Steve Awesome hasn't chosen to call this place home. There's a reason for that. The IWF is where he's comfortable. The IWF is where he's the big shark. Do many veterans want to get sent back down to the war zone? Steve Awesome barely escaped from the XHF! He scraped and clawed to be able to hit a dropkick and now that the XHF Network is here, he's too scared to call this place home. All that we can offer him now is a match where he can pop in once a year in order to maintain relevancy. Just so he isn't asking himself who he is just like he did. I'm not even so sure Steve Awesome is the same wrestler I tangled with in the ropes fifteen years ago.
Storm cocks his head, gesturing to ask the audience to ponder that same question.
Storm: Things change in fifteen years. Since I left the XHF, I grew up. I'm not a kid anymore. I joined some other promotions. I invested in a business. Did well. Invested in another. Repeated the same process enough to become worth millions of dollars. Got back into wrestling. Died. Came back. Now I'm on my newest adventure. I found a grey hair in the mirror. I feel like something else happ- Oh, I almost forgot. I also got this.
Michael Storm raises his bandaged hand.
Storm: How about you, Steve? Is wrestling the same? Are you the same? Because from how it sounds like to me, you stopped wrestling and started a reality show. I remember back in the day, we did all our promos in the ring. I would go in, say something. Then you couldn't take it anymore. You decided to barge in on me and responded. And we'd go back and forth for a little. Now? It's a bit different. Something happens then you go into the interview box and commentated on what happened. Maybe I'm getting old. Maybe you're hanging onto your youth a bit hard, but it seems a bit... Weird. I mean, you're getting a bit old trying to hang onto the whole Jersey Shore feeling, aren't you? I mean, I couldn't think of anyone other than the teenagers or YouTube stars who would watch these shows and think that they can do four thousand push ups. I don't care how big your muscles are or how much you juice up. Maybe you're just trying to be a wise guy and get a couple of laughs, but if you're just trying to get a few laughs and turn into comedy relief, I have no idea what I'm doing wasting my time on you.
Making a 'tsk tsk' sound, Storm shakes his head.
Storm: But I don't want to think of you as a one hit wonder who used to hit blockbusters and now cameo in 'Direct to TV' films just to stay afloat. I want to think of you as someone who actually has something to give to professional wrestling. Because acting like The Real World, acting like you have SARS, this whole...
Storm sticks his arm out in front of the camera.
Storm: ...whatever you want to call it is not awesome. Nor is it Awesome. I understand you can't really understand the difference through audio, but I hope with my tone, you'll understand what I mean by that. You throw out the names of many of the people who will pop up in the Rumble, but you don't really talk about them. Hell, with as superficial as you are, I wouldn't be surprised if you superficially skimmed the list of advertised entrants and just threw out their names like you knew who they were. You weren't even there during the bulk of Rat Bastard's activity before he dropped off the face of the Earth - or as he likes to call it, a really fun Friday night. I mean, you knew who Chris Card was, but he's from IWF, so you don't get a point for that.
Michael Storm looks left and right then begins to shrug.
Storm: I mean, I don't follow with the IWF all that well, but I'm curious. Do you even wrestle? I'm not sure if that's what goes on there, and honestly, I don't know who you are anymore. You certainly aren't the Steve Awesome I once knew. You're like the stunt double of Awesome. Being all Hollywood and everything, I'm sure you know what I mean when I say that. You look kind of like him. Same hair. Same height. But you are in camera view within the XHF for short stints so that only anyone who spent enough time or has a keen enough eye would be able to tell that you aren't the same thing. So since you can't play the way the real Steve Awesome can, I'll be a little generous. Maybe a little philanthropic, as you claim to be. Here's some free advice.
Michael Storm lifts up two fingers.
Storm: Two pieces of advice, actually. If you want to win the XHF Rumble, give up now. Unless you're playing possum and in which case, bravo - you don't stand a chance. Now if you want to actually win the X*Crown Champion, then here's the perfect plan: Wait until someone really terrible wins. The whole idea of the X*Crown Championship is that only the strongest, the fastest... overall, only the best and most competent wrestler could hold it. Now with people like Rat Bastard winning, that's obviously not always the case. So once some simpleton or drunkard like Rat wins it, cash in the IWF Championship and challenge him then. Then buy a clothesline pin so you can't smell him and you might walk the X*Crown Champion.
Storm smirks to himself.
Storm: Now you might be telling yourself, "But Storm, the IWF is still alive!" Obviously, only dead promotions could have their most prestigious belt be offered toward the X*Crown Champion and of course, I'd never subject myself to watching that garbage to watch its death. I'd much rather at least get comedy relief from watching an episode of... whatever SWAT calls their shows. But if I'm right and it's still alive, you could just kill it. It's probably on its last leg anyway. I can't imagine anyone would want to stay there much longer. Maybe when Anthony Caffrey inevitably loses a match at SWAT and he's looking for the next place to call home, you could bring him there. Maybe he will kill IWF just like he killed AXW. Maybe being able to beat something would give him a piece of comfort, considering he needs every last ounce of boost for his self esteem. Steve, if you really consider yourself a philanthropist, it might be a good idea. You get to help someone, Caffrey - the depressed child - gets an extra bounce to his step, and IWF gets taken off life support to finally get that humane death it so desperately needs. It's a win / win / win. And no, you don't have to thank me.
Michael Storm actually winks to the camera.
Storm: Your name is Steve Awesome. You seem to be living an Awesome life. Well, I'm Michael Storm. My life fucking sucks, but I'm going to be the only one walking out as the XHF Rumble, as opposed to being thrown over the top ropes. And when I do, I'll be carrying the weight of twenty one championship belts over my body. Now I have to say that, Steve, is pretty damn awesome.
Michael Storm sports a genuine smile as the scene fades to a close.
