Memes and Tings (Rat Rumble 12)
Apr 16, 2020 0:53:56 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Rage (aka NoMercyMaster2001), and 3 more like this
Post by RattyMcDaddy on Apr 16, 2020 0:53:56 GMT -5
We fade in with a bored-looking Rat Bastard sitting in a leather couch. He is wearing red silk pajamas with an insignia on them. A laptop sitting on his lap, a slight smirk across his face.
Rat digs around a bit and pulls a crumpled napkin from his couch cushions, he unwrinkles it and looks in shock.
Rat makes praying hands as he looks into the camera and cringes.
Rat goes back to the computer and starts typing, and just before fading to fully black, the porn hub noise can be heard.
Man being sober sucks. Being sober and stuck in the house sucks even more. Thank God for the internet tho, amirite? I mean, who comes up with these conspiracy theories, shit posts, and uhh, guys, have you all seen Reddit? I mean that place is out of hand, the shit find when your sober, I mean, really, who fucking knew there was an entire fan page devoted to Mongo, and I guess his love of feet? Someone even made this adorable Meme of him.
Uhh, I think it's hilarious. And you all know, I somewhat fancy myself a creative funny guy from time to time, so what's a board recovering alcoholic to do when he is quarantined? Make Memes off all of my Rumble opponents, duh! So let me share some of my internet magic with you all!
Ahhh yes, Timeless. That gimmick is as fake and plastic as your old ladies boobies. See how I used the truth about you in a humorous way? That's called personality kid, you may want to time travel about and see if you can pick some up, ya bum!! Next up with have another fan-favorite *Rat rolls his eyes* and another guy beaming with personality......
Teriyaki or whatever the crap your name is, can you please find your fucking name?
Yo, buddy, I found your name, it was in my couch this entire time, it's Rick Miller. So yeah Rick, mystery solved, can we just move on from this shit-filled quest? Can we Rick? Please? Moving on tho!
Ahhhh yes, Sniper, thanks so much for your service to this country, I mean being a chef and all for those hard-working fighting soldiers had to be exhausting. Oh, wait, your claim to the fan is being a sniper right? Just like your claiming your going to be the winner of the 2020 Rumble? Man you know they passed Law's and that's 2 counts of stolen valor right there. Again, moving on.
Damn Draven, where you been since Cross kicked that ass? In Seattle sulking on a rooftop in a light rain, perhaps? At the local thrift store picking up some threads, maybe? Well we know where you haven't been, and that's focusing on the Rumble. I don't mind you not being around, see to me you're like the COVID-19, the quicker you go away, and stay away, the happier the entire world would be, you snot-nosed, sharp-toothed, pale-skinned......wait pale-skinned.....that reminds me.....
Ahhhh yes, Goth, the one guy who upsets Draven with his pale good looks, amazing hair flips, and ancient dialects. Calm down boys, save some pussy for the rest of us, will ya? Speaking of pussies, see how these all connect? Anyway, pussy, ass pussy to be exact.
Chris Card, Ya know man, I want to like you, I really do, but uh, your a super douche bag, and well like, you're not really cool.....again speaking of not cool, Cross Recoba come on down!!!
Oh we know you love his Bangers and Mash, Cross. When your not busy making love to your old lady like your life depends on it, or invading SWAT, I'm sure your Adam'sapple deep in Cards' Bangers and Mash. Your a cocky arrogant pile of shit Recoba, I can't wait to see you get kicked from the Rumble, oh yeah we all know you work as a PR guy for a casino now, those flashbacks are getting a little pointless. But speaking of pointless, my man!
Fox........we know your gay. Please stop using it as a crutch..........
Rat makes praying hands as he looks into the camera and cringes.
But speaking of crutches, one of the favorites to win the Rumble, and doing everything short of blowing Mongo to stay in the picture, I present to you Death Trap!!
The king of the 30-day reign as champion. You may be the only asshole in this Rumble older than me. You have always been less talented than me. Jealous of me. Wanted to be me. It's ok DT, it's alright I mean, Bastards Brew has been in the XHF shop for almost 20 years, and the Death Trap Guido hat only lasted 36 days, that's 6 more then your X*Crown run isn't it? Enough about you though, let's talk about someone with sponsorship money!
Man, those shoes from one of that plethora of promos you put out the other night where the perfect, quintessential, I mow my lawn, master the grill, and only say gosh darn in front of the kids on the soccer team I coach gear. If New Balance doesn't sponsor you, they are missing out....missing out.....missing out...Caffery..... you're my next meme.
No Caff, we all want you to stay home, and stop talking about your bullshit feds that you once were apart of. We want you to stay home and make some cookies with the recipe from Flowers in the Attic, and I mean Philly may love you, but they also love the Eagles, the Phillies, and the Flyers, so their taste is already known to be shitty.
Last but not least we have the champ himself, the commish of SWAT, the holder of the most prized possession in the XHF, that old creepy guy who reminds me of a pedophile mobster, Zoran whatever the fuck.
It's been fun, friends, but I have more Reddit and shit to browse about, along with Rat Bastard Fan Page's to look up!
Last but not least we have the champ himself, the commish of SWAT, the holder of the most prized possession in the XHF, that old creepy guy who reminds me of a pedophile mobster, Zoran whatever the fuck.
It's been fun, friends, but I have more Reddit and shit to browse about, along with Rat Bastard Fan Page's to look up!
Rat goes back to the computer and starts typing, and just before fading to fully black, the porn hub noise can be heard.
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