J-ROK Jam Session Ep.6 "Filmsick Mystery" (SHOW)

[Kira Izumi]

J-ROK Saturday Jam Session Ep.6 "Filmsick Mystery"
At Hashima Island In Nagasaki, Japan
October 31, 2020

We pan across the sunset as we see Hashima Island in the far off distance. The waves crash against the beach as we zoom into the abandoned island and cut to a different, ariel, shot of the islands. Time speeds up as spooky music begins to play. The spooky music transitions to some hard guitar riffs and heavy drums beating. We fade into a shot of a boat in the middle of the sea. The band DADAROMA is dressed in spooky garb as they sing their song...

The song plays as we cut into a montage of spooky and creepy shots. Ghouls and Goblins. Vampires and Werewolves. We see wrestlers bleeding and in macabre attire. referencing and parodying classic horror films and tropes as we cut to the island itself. Now actually on it, we see a person dressed as a zombie soldier. we can see bits of red hair peaking out from the helmet.

Zombie Soldier: "(Welcome to Hashima Islands everyone! It's me, Psycho KGB! Tonight we embark on a terrifying adventure! ain't that right MUSHI?)"

another person appears from out of camera and stands next to him. It looks like a woman who's dressed as a zombie as well. it's safe to assume that it's MUSHI.

MUSHI: "(Hello fans, MUSHI here, and like Psycho said tonight will be unlike any other show we've had in J-ROK. this one will tell you a story of love, loss, hardships and so much more. But before that we have a very special video to show you from the XHF headquarters.)"

We suddenly find ourselves a million miles away from the show as we fade into a crowded elevator. The camera looks down from above on Bongo, Congo, Angela DeWitt, and Funaki. They’re all in costume- because, y’know, Halloween. DeWitt is dressed as Super Girl, Funaki as Mario, Congo as Harry Potter, and Bongo as….Lazor-Tron? But he’s not wearing a mask.

Congo: So…no mask. Interesting take on Lazor-Tron.

Bongo: …..Ok, cards on the table, I forgot it was Halloween and just grabbed whatever was in my closet here at the office.

Congo: Why do you have a Lazor-Tron costume…

He looks Bongo up and down.

Congo: …That seems tailor fit for you…..in your office?

Bongo: I uh….I’ve used it for previous Halloweens and costume parties.

Funaki: This material seems very worn

Bongo: I’ve uh- I’ve had it for a while, that happens.

DeWitt: What about the blood and sweat stains? This seems really used.

Bongo: Blood!? HA HA HA, oh no, that’s not blood, HA HA, that’s uh….ketchup or maybe jelly! WHY ARE YOU ALL LOOKING AT ME!?

He points slightly off camera

Bongo: AND WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE JAMES MUELLER?!

The camera pans over to reveal one more person in the elevator, the XHF Network Commissioner (by squatter’s rights) Bobby Barratt. His costume game is very on point.

Bobby: Well thank goodness you figured it out. People have been calling me Bon Jovi all day. Anyway I figured I’d hedge my bets just in case Mongo didn’t remember that I’m the commissioner now. Also, you know, dressing as the old commissioner, a little commissioner on commissioner act…ion…HEY AT LEAST I’M NOT HIDING A SECRET I-

DING! The elevator has reached its destination. The doors open to reveal the XHF Hall of Champions that leads to Mongo the Destroyer’s office. Things seem…off… Maybe there’s some problem with the lighting or something, but something doesn’t feel right. The gang make it to the desk of Mongo’s secretary, Bonnie Jenkins. There’s a gun on her desk and she appears to be splattered with blood. Otherwise nothing seems amiss as she works at her computer. That is until the staffers try to get to Mongo’s office. Suddenly she looks up and, after surveying Angela Dewitt for a moment, speaks.

Bonnie: I wouldn’t go in there if I were you.

Bongo: But we need to see Mongo abo-

Bonnie: Look, Mongo is a very busy man; you should respect his priva-

Bongo: Look, I’m his best friend, it’ll be fine

He goes for the door

Bonnie: DON’T GO I-

It’s too late. The room is dark. Bongo reaches for the light switch and turns it on.

Congo: OH MY GOSH

DeWitt: Now this is BREAKING NEWS!

Before them is the XHF Network Owner, Mongo the Destroyer. Looking dapper as ever in a nice suit- except said suit is riddled with bullet holes and there’s blood just everywhere. They scream.

Everyone: AAAAHHHHHH!

Mongo screams.

Mongo: AAAAAHHHHH!

They scream more.

Everyone: AAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait, pause. Mongo is fine. He sits up from the nap he was taking, confused as to why there’s all these costumed people screaming in his office.

Bongo: Oh my gosh we thought you were dead…

Congo: And the blood and Bonnie with the gun…

Funaki: Wait, is this a couple-costume thing?

The XHF Network Owner seems confused.

Mongo: Couples costumes? What? I’m dressed as Scarface.

The group turns to Bonnie Jenkins.

DeWitt: And you?

Bonnie: Jealous lover.

There’s a slight pause for old XHF fans who get the joke to laugh- but not too long since that was a long time ago. After that everyone turns to the camera.

Everyone: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

“Monster Mash” by Bobby Pickett hits and the crew, Mongo and Bonnie included start dancing to it. Some of them dance like monsters, some dance in their own way, but all dance poorly. While they do the screen lights up with a message:

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FROM THE XHF NETWORK STAFF

Psycho KGB: "(Happy Halloween indeed everyone and now... for tonight's feature presentation... J-ROK presents...)"

A Ghoulish Evening...

We pan into the sky like any respectable anime as we see the sun set and it grow into the dark night of Halloween. We pan back down to see Psycho and MUSHI standing with portable mics, like news reporters. in fact, the whole show looks like a news report of sorts now.

Psycho KGB: "(This is Psycho KGB with my broadcast partner, MUSHI. Tonight we have a big story for you folks! tonight there's been sightings of monsters and other scary things roaming around this island! we've came here to find out if the rumors are true!)"

MUSHI: "(That's right, and Psycho i think i see some monsters over there! look it's... it's... wait, what is that?)"

We zoom in with a grainy and shaky camera like your classic horror films of yesteryear, we see a big bonfire in the middle of the island as what looks to be freddy kruger with long dark hair and pale gothic looks is standing with two large men in hocky masks. Opposite of them is a devil and two demons. they begin chanting in an ancient demon dialect. the two reporters inch closer as the 6 beings begin to yell at one another and get into some monstrous mayhem!

Freddy (psychotic goth) Kruger starts fighting with one of the Devil's Syndicate near the bonfire. Meanwhile one of the hocky masked men fight with the other and the other hocky masked man fights with the devil looking guy. They continue to brawl around the bonfire before we see one of the devils summon fire around their hands. they try shooting it at their opponents, but miss. The man who looks like freddie krugar throws a fireball at his opponent, causing the others to scream in horror and vanish into a pit of smoke.

The others celebrate and soon vanish as well.

Psycho KGB: "(Looks like that gothic guy and his two hounds won that fight! but hold on... what's that over there?!)"

MUSHI: "(That looks like... MYOJIN and... Brendan Harding?! While we try to see what's going on folks, take a look at this...)"

---

(The scene opens as the main theme from "Nightmare on Elm Street" television series plays but the words Film Sick: The Movie appears followed by chanting as the scene fades to a house and three girls are playing jump rope.)

Girls: One....Two....Psychotic Goth's coming for you......"

(They pause for a split second.)

Girls: "Three.....Four....Better lock your door....."

(They pause again for a brief second.)

Girls: "Five....Six....Grab your crucifix......."

(They once again pause for a brief second.)

Girls: "Seven....Eight....better stay up late......"

(They once again pause for a brief second.)

Girls: "Nine....Ten...Never Sleep again."

(They giggle as Vampira walks into the scene and stands in front of the house.)

Vampira: "Welcome to the premiere of Film Sick and as you can see this house can be in any All-American small town but to be specific it's located in a place called Springfield, Ill. A place thia is as small town as small town can be. However, don't let this small town's wholespme values fool you. You see in this house behind me is the location of a series of incidents that occurred many years ago. The horrors you are about to witness are fictional but are they truly."

(She snickers and lets out a vampire hiss.)

Vampira: "However, the story doesn't really start here....."

(She makes hand motions and cuts to an old factory that still looks like it's still operating with a group of people with gasoline cans in their hands as Vampira reappears.)

Vampira: "This story really begins with this piece of old real estate. An abandoned factory and these ladies and gentlemen, who are armed with cans of a volatile liquid, meant for an individual who committed a heinous crime and felt the individual hiding out got away with murder. However, their actions will unleash something much worse than they ever dreamed of or at least one of nightmares are made of."

Man: "Here we are at this factory and we're going to burn it down with that sonofabitch, Psychotic Goth, is in that abandoned factory and we can't let hi get away with killing our children and getting off on technicalities."

(The crowd agrees.)

Second Man: "I don't now that guy is scary and he has that scary glove thing on his hand."

Man: "Well he doesn't scare me and he shouldn't scare you either. The sooner we get rid of him. The sooner we can get true justice and after that nobody will speak of what we did."

(They enter the factory and start searching the place for the suspect. The vast factory is silent except for the voices of the crowd but as they go to the lower levels of the factory they find a roaring furnace where an individual wearing a red sweater, a fedora and wearing a glove with razor blades.)

Psychotic Goth: "Welcome ladies and gentlemen to your worst nightmare."

Man: "Wrong it's going to be your worst nightmare when we get through with you."

Psychotic Goth: "Nightmares are like dreams to me."

Man: "Yeah well your dream is going to be in hell. Let him have it with the gasoline."

Psychotic Goth: "I'm already in hell but you can give me a better send off into hell."

(He laughs maniacally and unleashes an ancient Native American accent as they douse him with gasoline.)

Psychotic Goth: "Come on! You can do better than that! Come on! You wasting all that gas on little old Psychotic Goth! Hey you missed a spot!"

(Psychotic Goth laughs demonically as the Man lights a match and throws it at Psychotic Goth who begins to burn but stands there still laughing as the crowd flees the old factory as it burns fast. Vampira slowly reappears in the scene again.)

Vampira: "If only they knew what they were about to unleash. They thought they were going to be safe from him but that was the beginning of the horrors they will about to experience in the years to come."

(The scene switches back to the house seen earlier on Elm Street where there seems to be a party going on in there as Vampira reappears in a blood red fog.)

Vampira: "After years of peace and quiet. After years of no murders the town of Springfield, Ill felt they were safe from the curse of Psychotic Goth and his wrath. They were dead wrong after covering up the factory fire incident as if it didn't happen. They shall regret it for the rest of their lives. It all begins now in this house where a typical party by high schoolers doing hat they do best violating the rules of drinking and smoking risking diseases. However, they shall experience even more horror than they realize all because their parents or friends of their parents never warned them of the curse of Psychotic Goth."

(The scene cuts to the living room where the party is occurring where teenage partygoers are enjoying themselves dancing, drinking and making out. The music plays and some go upstairs to the bedrooms to make out but some go upstairs to be alone.)

Jock: "I'll be back. I have to go to the bathroom."

Cheerleader: "Be back quick."

(The Jock leaves and the Cheerleader waits for his return and closes her eyes but finds the lights are off and the door creaks open.)

Cheerleader: "Hello.....Hello!"

(She looks around worried and suddenly Psychotic Goth goes after her and they fall off the bed rolling around but she manages to escape as he laughs and acts like he's chasing her.)

Cheerleader: "Someone's in my room!"

Jock: "Who?"

Cheerleader: "Someone!"

Jock: "I got this."

(He slowly enters the room and turns out the lights only to find the room empty.)

Cheerleader: "There was someone in here."

(They hear screaming and rush to another room and burst in as they see a student dragging him don through the mattress and then a huge geyser of blood bursting out spraying them with blood screaming.)

Cheerleader: "Call the police."

Jock: "Yeah."

(The scene cuts to Vampira at the pool where teenagers are still enjoying themselves."

Vampira: "The terror was just beginning for them and the other teenagers. Soon they will know the truth and they will have to deal with it and the consequences of those who thought they killed Psychotic Goth. The opposite proved to be true."

(Psychotic Goth jumps over the fence and roars in an Native-American accent and laughs maniacally again going after them as they flee.)

Psychotic Goth: "Mind if I crash your little party."

(He continues to go after them trapping and killing them as attempt to flee the house as he continues to laugh.)

Vampira: "There was no escape for these doomed teenagers and that was just the beginning. The sheriff caught someone and placed him in jail but only to make himself look good but tat didn't stop the terror. He would be dead by the next day and the official version was he died by hanging himself but they knew differently. Yet things got worse before they got better and sooner or later the teenagers would take matters into their own hands. 'The Psychotic One' would later in a more subtle way."

Student: "Who are you?"

Psychotic Goth: "I'm everyone's worst nightmare."

Student: "You don't look like someone who causes nightmares."

Psychotic Goth: "Appearances can be deceiving. You need help in dealing with those jocks and I need a body to carry out my revenge."

Student: "how can I really trust you.)

Psychotic Goth: "You have my word. besides, you have the body....."

(He takes the fedora off and peels his skull off.)

Psychotic Goth: "I got the brains."

(The Student screams as Psychotic Goth laughs.)

Vampira: "He was able to inhabit the body but the teenagers were able to band together and defeat him. Yet he wasn't through yet and vowed even more revenge. He was able to still get into the drams of teenagers even from hell and after his killing spree he was once again defeated only to return again and again."

(Psychotic Goth is seen walking slowly and casually don a hallway.)

Psychotic Goth: "Thank you. Thank you. You've been a wonderful audience and before we leave I want to show you a wonderful treat....."

(He reaches a table with squeaky sounds coming from it.)

Psychotic Goth: "What do we have here. It's a pizza but it's no ordinary pizza with the usual toppings but special toppings that are so delicious it practically appeals to the pallet."

(Psychotic Goth looks lovingly at the pizza and sticks the razor gloved hand at the screaming toppings and picks one up and eats it. He savors it and then continues eating the toppings until they are gone.)

Psychotic Goth: "Mmmmmmm those toppings are so good and they sooth the soul. So is the rest of the pizza but before we go don't forget the most important thing and that's a pound of flesh is just as good especially when you actually take it off the skin."

Vampira: "Psychotic Goth continued to kill and take the souls of his victims showing no remorse until he as once again dealt with. However, just when things were about to turn to normal suddenly there was an even more horrifying incident that was yet to come. One that led to a collision course between two of the most sadistic killers in the world."

(The scene cuts to various shots of Springfield, Ill.)

Psychotic Goth: "The grown ups managed to stop the fear and the terror I was able to spread throughout Springfield. They may have weakened me. They may have thought they have destroyed me, but they didn't totally finish me. However, I walked through hell and I found a way to spread fear and grow stronger again so that I may once again terrorize the people of Springfield."

(The scene shows a hand exploding out of a grave as a body rises out of the grave.)

Psychotic Goth: "I found the ultimate terror to spread the fear that I once spread so I can once again terrorize the people."

(The scene shows Jason Voorhees walking through the woods wielding his famous machete.)

Vampira: "When these two monsters of murder teamed up to cause such terror to make sure no one could keep the populace down. Yet like all team ups and crossovers like Predator vs. Alien, Batman vs. Superman or Godzilla vs. King Kong. They will always come to blows and an all out brawl between both monsters until one is left standing."

(The scene cuts to Psychotic Goth and Jason Voorhees battling it out until Jason Voorhees freezes.)

Psychotic Goth: "Hmmm interesting. So you do have nightmares. Let's see what makes you tick."

(Cut to scenes of Jason Voorhees reliving his memories as Psychotic Goth probes Jason's head and to scenes where the heroic teenagers are attempting to awaken him to battle Psychotic Goth. They manage to do so and battle all over the place in Jason's mind until they land in the lake
still battling until Jason emerges with Psychotic Goth's head which comes back to life and smiles winking and laughing. Vampira is seen again in the camp which has the name Camp Crystal Lake.)

Vampira: "They say you can kill the Boogeyman but he always manages to return in one at or the other. The town of Springfield, Ill may be free for now but you know what they say about nightmares. They can be overcome but just when you think you've overcome and dealt with them. They always managed to return with a vengeance in one form or another and be rebooted again in a different scenario but still nothing new. It's just another day in the lives of those who live in the little all American small town of Springfield, Ill. There's only one place where you can find rural legend and lore in a place called Film Sick."

(The theme of the Nightmare on Elm Street television series begins to play showing the various players and playing the various main themes from the Nightmare on Elm street movies and the production company before the scene slowly fades to black.)

---

You are watching the Blessed Be Network. Coming up at 6:00pm is the BBN original movie When Jesus Saved Halloween, then at 7:00 it's Spooky Psalms with Pastor Jones. Then at 8:00 it's everyone's favorite game show Bobbing For Bibles. But for now it's Comfort From The Storm with The Reverend Cornelius Marsh. 

(An eerie version of Marsh's usual organ music plays as we fade to The Reverend Cornelius Marsh seated at a talk show desk with his ever present sidekick, Nancy. The set is decorated for Halloween. She's a middle aged woman with pink dyed hair, with her small white pekingese dog. Marsh is a Southern preacher with a honey sweet voice) 

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: Hello, friends. It is I...

Nancy: (waves) And us too, (makes dog wave) say hi, Chloe. 

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: Chloe can't say hi, Nancy! 

Nancy: (pouts) Oh poo. 

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: As you know, Halloween is coming. 

Nancy: Oh I know! This is that time of year they play all them old car insurance commercials about Halloween! It's like a new tradition. 

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: Yes, Nancy. We're very blessed that they can't think of new ways to sell cut-rate car insurance that covers nothing other than to run some ad exec's commercial from 2017. Halloween is a horrid, wicked time in which satanists and sinners celebrate their fast track to hell, dragging their unwitting children with them in the search for sugar. Did you know more children are run over during Halloween than any other night of the year, Nancy?

Nancy: (covers Chloe's ears) No! Is that true? 

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: Probably. But instead of shunning this sinful celebration, staying in our homes to pray away the evil, we invite it into our lives. 

Nancy: But Rev, if you don't like Halloween why you have this place decorated so nice...

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: (slaps desk)I CAN'T HELP HAVING A FLARE FOR DECORATION, NANCY! (smooths his hair out) It's both a gift and curse. But a curse is what J-ROK has invited on itself. The Curse of The Hellhounds. This holiday encourages non-believers to see what's on the other side, and they're going to find out exactly what awaits them on their day of reckoning. What the Hellhounds will do to whatever two souls J-ROK put in front them is going to be a small slice, a fun-sized sample of the suffering and agony that awaits the rest of you for selling out the Lord for a handful of melted kit-kats and sweet tarts. 

Nancy: I like them blow pops but I broke my tooth on one last year. You think I should go get this checked out? (holds open her mouth) 

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: Jiminy Crickets, Nancy! That is really infected. Why haven't you seen a dentist? 

Nancy: You cut off my dental last year when you had to go away for that wire fraud thing...

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: (talking over her) GREAT STORY, Nancy...wonderful story. We all love a good scary story. Well how about this one? Once upon a time there was a wrasslin company. They thought they had everything. They had goths, they had purple emperors, sky forces and they even had rat bastards. But there was one thing they were dearly missing. The love and protection of God Almighty. So The Hellhounds came to Japan to smite the wicked, and punish the proud. The ring and the front row were bathed in the blood of the arrogant unbelievers. From that day on, no one dared to celebrate the Prince of Darkness' birthday, and we all lived happily ever after. 

Nancy: Aw, I like that story. 

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: I do too, Nancy. 

Nancy: Boy Chole sure does love them Snickers bars you got in them pumpkins.

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: I'm glad to hear that, Nancy. By the way, chocolate is poison for dogs. 

Nancy: What?? Chloe, spit that out! SPIT THAT OUT....

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: Thank you for joining us, on Comfort From The Storm. We now take you to Chris Pratt's Goofy For God, already in progress. 

(The spooky organ music plays as Nancy screams and panics, trying to pull a wadded up Snickers out of Chloe's mouth. She motions for the camera and lighting people to help as Cornelius smiles his sweet, sinister grin)

---

We cut back to the reporters now, we see MYOJIN and Brendan Harding having choice words with one another, a referee appears out of nowhere through a cloud of smoke and is dressed as a vampire before we hear a bell ring. seems like we have another match! They're in an empty building with walls breaking down and holes in the ceilings and floors.

Psycho KGB: "(Looks like we have a title match underway folks!)"

we'd see tons of locks and holds like a real wrestling match oddly enough to start off this unusual contest. we'd see wrist locks and arm drags, headlocks and submission holds galore. Harding would go for that over the shoulder liger bomb we've seen plenty of times before, but MYOJIN would slip out of it, hit him with a rolling german onto some boxes and slip into a prawn hold, the MYOJIN Clutch was locked in tight, but it wasn't gonna stop the champ that easily.

They'd start to brawl up the stairs and go up to the next level. both would throw strikes back and forth. hitting reversals on one another all the same. a few well placed slaps from MJOYIN would piss off the champ as he'd unleash his Omae wa mou shinderu combo! the last strike would be ducked though and the challenger would hit him with a kick to the cut before climbing onto a shelf and moonsaulting off it. Harding would roll out of the way before hitting him with the Zen Driver for the win.

MUSHI: "(Harding with the win keeping his title for one more show! but i hear something above us folks, come on, lets check it out!)"

They climb up the stairs to see what's going on. there's a door that leads to the roof, Psycho opens the door slowly and then we see it.

MUSHI: "(Folks... there's Sailor Mars fighting Marth and Roy fighting a ripped Doc Brown fighting a...)"

Psycho KGB: "(That looks like the creepy ghost from Ju-On! so creepy...)"

indeed those people are all fighting one another, apart from the Fire Emblem brothers of course! they're all fighting on the roof of this building though, the brothers are double teaming against the ripped Doc Brown guy who looks an awful lot like a certain infamous time traveler in the AWF. meanwhile Mars and the Ju-On ghost are fighting for their fucking lives!

it's pure chaos up here, fire and chains, swords and god knows what else! Doc Brown runs over the fire emblem brothers with a homemade delorion, because we're too poor to afford the real deal for one match on an abandoned island just to use it for one spot in a match. with the mongo money gone we had to resort to the normal funds and with that we saw an energy blast from Sailor Mars hit Doc Brown, causing him to swerve into the door and down the stairs! The Ju-On ghost wraps a thorny chain around the neck of Mars and drags her to the edge of the roof where she kicks her off and hangs her! her body goes limp after a few seconds before the ghost lady lets go of the chain.

Psycho KGB: "(Holy fuck she fucking killed her! Had to right?!)"

MUSHI: "(It looks like it, but remember fans the giant was knocked off a roof and came back unscathed in wcw, Brad Swann cheated death, and so can she! But more importantly... look over there in the trees, there's some fire or lights or something! come on lets go see what's going on! but first... another short video while we make our way there...)"

---

“REGRETS IVE GOT MIIIINE”

The chorus to Full of Regret by Danko Jones starts blaring through the J-Rok speakers as the XHF legend Steve Awesome steps out onto the stage to a chorus of boos. He looks dressed for a fight but he still had his shades on. he walks down the ramp, disrespecting the fans.

MUSHI: “(oh great. I heard he was going to show up here tonight, but I was hoping he wouldn’t.)”

Psycho KGB: “(He basically called out Yuki Sakaraba to show up here over social media. Last time they were in the same ring together Steve kicked her head off. I hope we get to see more of that!)”

MUSHI: “(But this issue started over a shoe commercial back in the early nineties. back when Yuki was barely a year old. I doubt she even remembers. She was still a baby.)”

Psycho KGB: “(A baby that screwed Steve Awesome over. And now Yuki is finally going to pay the piper.)”

MUSHI: “(What kind of man holds a grudge on a baby?)”

Psycho KGB: “(To be fair to Steve he did make the vow when he was ten years old.)”

MUSHI: “(He is THIRTY EIGHT years old now!)”

Psycho KGB: “(You just don’t understand.)”

Steve Awesome climbs into the ring and gives off a few crotch chops to the crowd who boo him while his music fades. He grabs a microphone from ringside.

Steve Awesome: “Before I get started, I understand that there is a language barrier so I took the liberty of recording key parts of the following speech in your native language on this trusty digital voice recorder.”

Steve uses his free hand to fish out a little voice memo recorder device from his pocket and holds it up for everyone to see. The device gets a small pop.

Steve Awesome: “A lot of people have asked me, how can I still be mad after all this time? After twenty eight years, almost three decades, how can I still be mad at a little baby?”

Steve glances around and then points to the recorder and then puts it up to the mic and hits play.

Recorder: Wǒ wèishéme yào shēng yīgè yīng'ér?
(Why am I mad at a baby?)

The crowd immediately boo.

MUSHI: “(That is Chinese! That is not the native language!)”

Psycho KGB: “(Maybe he just made an honest mistake?)”

Steve doesn’t understand why the people are booing. He shrugs it off and just keeps going.

Steve Awesome: “But they don’t know what it’s like. I think about the night a lot. It wakes me up in a cold sweat. I feel the post traumatic stress down to my very soul!

He pulls up the recorder to the mic.

Recorder: Wǒ de xīnlíng chéngshòuzhe chuāngshāng de yālì. (I have post traumatic stress in my soul.)

Steve Awesome: “To know that everything I had and ever loved at ten years old was ripped away by a stupid toddler. She hadn’t even stopped shitting herself and there she was, wrecking everything. You can try to convince me she was a baby and had no idea, but I know she did it on purpose! I know she really wanted to screw me over and she used her baby cuteness against me and I’m not going to stand for it!”

Steve hits play on the recorder.

Recorder: Wǒ bù huì yīnwèi bèi tā de kùzi dǎ suì ér shībài. (I won't stand for being defeated by something that shits its pants.)

Steve shakes his head no to confirm the fact as the Japanese crowd boo the Chinese recorded voice.

Steve Awesome: “Well I made a vow to myself that night that somehow, someway I was going to get even. That someday I was going to get revenge on that snot nose shit pants little baby. Well guess what!? The shit nose snot pants little baby is an adult now and we’re finally in the same company at the same time so I can finally walk out to a wrestling ring, grab a microphone and say YUKI SAKARABA IM CALLING YOUR BITCH ASS OUT TO A FIGHT TONIGHT!”

Recording: IM jīn wǎn tiǎozhàn nín de mǔ jī zhàndòu! (IM CHALLENGING YOUR BITCH ASS TO A FIGHT, TONIGHT!)

Steve Awesome: “I know you are in the back somewhere, if you got the guts Yuki. After all this time Yuki It’s time to finally get what you have coming to you!”

Steve holds up the recorder one last time.

Recorder: Yīgè jí wǎn de duòtāi! (An extremely late term abortion!)

Burial Applicant by The GazettE begins to play over the loudspeakers. The camera cuts to the stage as we wait a moment. Steve looks around to see where she may have gone as does the camera. We finally see she’s up in the stands.

Yuki Sakaraba: “(Steve i’ve heard you talking long enough. Get over it! I got the shoe commercial all those years ago, big deal! I don’t even remember the damned commercial! I don’t even have the shoes anymore!)”

She starts walking down the stairs into the lower sections.

Yuki Sakaraba: “(You think you’re a big tough guy? You’re nothing more than a delusional coward!)”

Yuki hops the barricade, walking around the ringside now, with a steel chain in hand.

Yuki Sakaraba: “(Well let me tell you something Steve…)”

“WAIT! WAIT!!! PLEASE DON’T FIGHT!!”

Yuki stops in her tracks and Steve is looking around the arena trying to figure out where the voice was coming from.

MUSHI: "(What is going on now? )"

Psycho KGB: "(I’m not sure. Does some fan have a microphone?)"

Suddenly the big video screen lights up and an old man with what’s left of a mullet appears on the screen.

Michael Shumacker: "Don't fight until we can make some real money off of this."

MUSHI: "(That’s Michael Shumacker. He is the owner of the Shoe Company that had the commercial all those years ago.)"

Psycho KGB: "(He sure is holding on to that mullet.)"

Michael shuffles some papers on his desk and continues to speak. His wispy mullet dangles down to his shoulders.

Michael Shumacker: "My, have you two grown since the nineties. Yuki you have grown into such a formidable young woman. Strong and honorable."

Yuki smiles.

Michael Shumacker: "And Steve….Steve is here also."

Steve crosses his arms and mutters some choice words under his breath.

Michael Shumacker: "When I heard that Steve was bringing all this up again it got my shoes a walkin."

He points to his brain.

Michael Shumacker: "I proposed my idea to the high tops at J-Rok we did some negotiating, we talked cash, and we were able to lace up a great deal."

He slides back in his chair and pulls a sheet off a rolling white board. It had a picture of a golden shoe and a ladder!

Michael Shumacker: "May I present to you, the Best in Shoe. Shoe Co. Ladder Match to crown the next SHOEPERSTAR!!! If you’ll have it, at Jam Session Episode Eight In Yurihonjo, Akita, Japan on November twenty eighth we hang this golden shoe high above the ring. We put Yuki Sakaraba and Steve Awesome underneath it with a ladder and let them settle their score!"

The crowd pops for the idea.

Michael Shumacker: "And better yet, the winner will become my new Shoeperstar spokesperson for the Best in Shoe. Shoe CO’s grand return to business! What do you say, Yuki?"

Yuki thinks about it for a second and then agrees.

Michael Shumacker: "And Stev-no!"

Steve Awesome, with a sneaky superkick from behind her back, lays out Yuki Sakaraba for the second time in just over a month!

MUSHI: "(Damn him! He just kicked her in the back of the head!)"

Psycho KGB: "(Steve gets better every time I see him!)"

Steve looks down on her as she holds her head in pain.

Steve Awesome: "I’m gonna climb that ladder. I’m gonna get that damn shoe. And I’m gonna right the wrong you made all those years ago."

He scowls at her and speaks through gritted teeth.

Steve Awesome: "This time!"

He points to himself.

Steve Awesome: "It’s gonna be Steve!"

He gives Yuki one last hard stomp before security forces him back.[/font]

---

In the locker room of Natural Selection. The trio of wrestlers are sitting around and we come in during the middle of a conversation. It appears We have come in with Johnny Styler in the middle of telling a story.

Styler: And I went to steal a kiss, and she pulled away!

Styler pauses expecting a reaction from his scary ending to his story and gets nothing.

Styler: You guys don’t understand woo! It’s hard out here for a kiss stealin’ son of a gun in this cancel culture.

Quake: We get it, it’s just not scary at all.

Randy nods and Styler frowns.

Styler: Woo let’s see you do better Trips.

Quake smiles and leans in close.

Quake: Alright I’ve got a story about three friends. They were foreigners in Japan and they thought they’d try and do something crazy.

Randy: Drink all the saki in Tokyo?

Quake: No.

Styler: Kiss all the women?

Quake: No. they thought they’d summon Godzilla, except they couldn’t call it Godzilla because of trademark issues so they just called it giant lizard thing.

Randy and Styler are intrigued and lean in closer as the screen begins to wave and soon the locker room has disappeared and we are in a new scene. Randy, Quake and Styler are standing at the end of a long pier. Quake is holding a live chicken high above his head with a knife to its throat. Randy stands next to him with a large dusty book in his hands. Styler is off to the side and a little behind and for some reason he’s bleeding from his forehead.

Quake: Are you sure you can do this Randy?

Randy: I’m sure.

Quake: Are you sure you want to?

Randy: Absolutely.

Quake: Alright here goes nothing.

And in one swift motion Quake slits the throat o the chicken which lets out one last screech and then chucks it into the water. Randy begins reading from the dusty book and is screaming in an ancient Japanese dialect. In front of the water begins to boil where the chicken landed and the giant green head of the not Godzilla creature pokes out of the water. Randy continues to scream as Quake lifts his arms in victory and Styler continues to bleed.

Quake: We did it!

The creature continues to emerge from the water and soon the trio are standing in the shadow of the monster. Randy stops reading and looks up in awe at the monster he brought about.

Randy: Wow.

All three men are stuck in awe and they don’t notice the monster that’s totally not Godzilla lift it’s leg and that it’s foot is coming down above them and crushes them to death. The monster retreats back to the water now that the people who woke is slumber have been vanquished. The pier is destroyed and the scene waves and fades back into the locker room where the trio still sit. Randy and Stylers jaws are dropped.

Styler: Where were the women in that story?

Randy: That was terrible. We died!

Quake: Yes we did, and that’s why we need to burn that book and not summon a Kaiju Randy!

Randy slumps his shoulders and looks at the dusty book in his hands and we fade out to the next scene.

---

we come back to the "reporters" as they're running towards some trees, on their way there they hear the sounds of a golden shovel and the chants of "Woo!" around the corner of another building. they peek around to see...

Psycho KGB: "(Wait a minute... is that... Randy dressed as... Ric Flair? and hold on that's... Quake with a golden shovel and he's dressed as 2000's triple h with the denim jacket and all!)"

MUSHI: "(But hold on... there's... is that Havoc? He's got... he's... dressed as a big dog! and behind him... there's Dinosaur Bones... he's got a fancy top hat on!)"

we see all four of them fight each other, well more like randy and quake team up and fight the other two. quake would scream at the others in a triple h like voice "It's time to play the game-uh!" as he would wack them with his golden shovel. Randy Flair would yell woo after every move he did and would take a swig out of his canteen often. Havoc would do a weird howl thing before cocking his fist and punching peoples faces in, meanwhile Bones would start biting people and whipping others with his long tail.

they'd keep fighting all around the building, trading moves and doing double and triple team moves on one another. it was a nasty site though when Quake started getting a little too in character. he'd start brushing off opponents attacks and using that damned golden shovel to run through everyone! havoc and dino bones would get the shovel out of his hands and away from him though, beating on him and randy in this make shift tag team match. Triple Quake would get it back before screaming "No body beats-uh triple quake-uh from the early 2000's-uh! by the power of denim-uh... i have-uh the power-uh!" with that he'd turn into some weird 2010's he-man triple h and hit the pedigree on bones to get the win while randy and havoc are busy fighting elsewhere.

Psycho KGB: "(Well that was a thing... i guess the power of denim and golden shovels really are that powerful MUSHI!)"

MUSHI: "(I guess so Psycho, but look over there! there's something else!)"

she points towards a little further as they head towards the commotion.

As they get there they see Nausicaa Suzuki in her super sayien rose form taking on Wolf Fang Ayame, who's dressed as well, Yamcha of course.

Psycho KGB: "(Looks like another fight folks!)"

we see Ayame approach Suzuki with a sword in her hand, she throws it in the air as Suzuki looks up in astonishment. Ayame charges towards Suzuki as she catches it and tries to cut her clean in half! Suzuki dodges as she jumps out of the way. another swipe but dodged again. again and again she tries to cut her foe down, yet again and again she misses. Suzuki jumps into the air and pulls out her power pole, swiping down at Ayame. Ayame blocks as they create space between each other.

Nausicaa extends the pole as it grows in length and pokes Ayame right in the gut! sending her flying back feet away! Wolf Fang gets up and rushes towards another building. Nausicaa unsure where she went or what to do looks for her, Ayame jumps out a window and pounces on her! getting a moment of offence! She charges up and yells out her powerful attack..

WOLF FANG FIST! She charges a confused Suzuki and lays into her with a kick and multiple strikes, driving her back now right through a wall! She gets up through the ruble and is angry!

Suzuki: "(I have my own rock, paper, scissors attack too you jerk!)"

Ayame charges again, going for that deadly attack. She tries to punch her, but it's blocked with a fist! Suzuki pokes her in the eyes and slaps her in the face shortly afterwards. Driven back again she goes for another flurry of strikes, this time hitting them and finishing things off with that scorpion rising kick she calls the Crescent Moon Kick!

MUSHI: "(Wolf Fang got the win! she knocked out Suzuki!)"

Psycho KGB: "(That's good and all but we still need to see what was going on in the woods! those lights look even brighter than just mere moments ago.)"

As they head towards the lights off yonder in the woods they pass by a person wearing a Zoro costume. He's somehow gotten in a graveyard. He looks as confused as the rest of us. Suddenly the earth begins to tremble as a decrepit hand pierces out of it.

Psycho KGB: "(Look at the ground over there! there's a hand! a hand!)"

MUSHI: "(EEEEEEEEK! It's moving! watch out Zoro that hand's moving!)"

Zoro jumps back and pulls out his sword at the hand, but unlucky for him, another hand grabs his ankle, he trips as his sword gets out of reach. An arm comes out now, and then another one. Soon enough the whole torso of Fukushima Zombie is out of the ground and begins crawling towards him. he scrambles towards his sword and grabs it, rolling in the process and swiping at her.

She's hit and an arm comes off, she picks it up and positions it back on before having other arms from the ground trip and grab him. he breaks free and they keep fighting in the grave yard. She grabs a shovel as they begin sword fighting all about. at one point both lose their weapons, being forced to fisticuffs! they throw strikes at one another, eating some, blocking others. At one point Zoro would use a tree stump as a launching pad and hit a massive dropkick at his opponent.

They trade superkicks in an indyrific superkick party at another point, both dropping dead! they get up and Zombie locks up him, getting behind and hitting him with a german suplex. there's jack 'o lanterns around, and Zoro wasn't afraid to use 'em, throwing one at Zombie. the first missing, but the second hitting her in the face. She picks one up and smashes it across his head, knocking him out seemingly. She reaches in and unmasks him... and it's none other than Adrien Cochrane under the mask!

Psycho KGB: "(A brutal fight there, but the zombie was in her elements here tonight.)"

They rush towards the lights, finally reaching them after seeing them so long ago. Once they get there we see the only two left that was supposed to be on the show.

Psycho KGB: "(Wait a minute... that's not just any lights... it's fire!)"

MUSHI: "(What the hell are those two doing?! From the looks of it they've been fighting for a while now, both are already beaten up pretty bad.)"

We see Dylan dressed as a terminator standing across from Kira, who's dressed like the joker. Both have been fighting for a while now. Kira and Dylan start charging each other, surrounded by fire, and throw punches and knees at one another. just pummeling one another to dust. Kira is taken back and gets close to the flames, Dylan tries to boot him into the fire, but Izumi dodges. His metal foot is scorched by the flames. he kicks Izumi in the leg as his pants catch on fire. he beat the flames out before he pulls out a gun from his back pocket!

Dylan steps back with his hands up. Kira begins cursing in Japanese before he yells "Is this real enough for you mother fuckers?!" he starts shooting into the air before he starts shooting at Dylan! Black uses his metallic limbs to block the shots as he charges towards Izumi. He spears him and wrestles the gun from his hands, throwing it far away, Dylan yells at him before he starts punching his face in. Izumi breaks free and they continue brawling all around. Black eventually catches him and starts choking him out. Izumi tries to fight back, but can't any longer, blacking out.

Psycho KGB: "(Holy hell i'm not sure what we just saw, but that was crazy folks!)"

MUSHI: "(We've had one crazy night folks! I'm still not sure what went on tonight on this island, but i do know something.)"

Psycho KGB: "(Happy Halloween everyone! and we hope to see you for our Sakura Tag League on November 21st and the finals on the 28th. till next time, good night!)"