Battleground #33 : Battlelines (Show)

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker : Welcome back folks, time for our first match of the evening, the Undefeated team of Rayzor and RDS against the Society of the New Breed!

Andrew Fulton : Both teams seem displeased with their place on this card jerking the curtain Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker : Indeed, Valentine even mentioning he has heat with Management for competing in Fireside.

Andrew Fulton : So he should have heat for working for that scum.

Jeremy Tucker : Easy, people are free to ply their trade where they see fit.

Andrew Fulton : Think of it SWAT’s way? How can he get his hands back on our gold, and then have them wankers bury him and our world belt along with it? And you know they would Jerry!

Jeremy Tucker : We will watch as this progresses further, I don’t buy it, Rally beat him fair and square in the middle of the ring, both had chances to finish each other off with the KGB trying to stir the pot, but what I witnessed at Helloween was the Society getting back on the same page.

"Top That" From The Teen Witch Soundtrack hits and Jonnie and Tuxedo Mask make their way out. Jonnie comes out dressed in a red tasseled jacket with "Kind Of A Big Deal" written in cursive lettering on the back. Red trunks and white boots with "JV" embroidered on them. Jonnie jogs down to the ring, slapping fans hands, doing a full lap around the front row. He finds a geeky teen singing his theme song, and he sings along with them. He pulls on the top rope to vault inside the ring and does the double guns to the crowd, Tux stopping to flirt with a young lady in the front row.

Frank Salazar : The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall. 0Introducing first, hailing from Palm Springs, California. Coming in at 5’10 and 234 pounds .... "Kind Of A Big Deal" .... JONNIE VALENTINE!!!! And his tag team partner … TUXEDO MASK!!!


[The arena goes dark as an orange strobe light plays along to the beginning of Bullets with Butterfly Wings. Rayzor and RDS walk out and stands center stage, looking around slowly with a smug look on their faces as they raise their right arm’s in the air and pause to breathe it all in. They then begin their slow walk to the ring. They get ringside and walk around the entire ring and ignore the fans at ringside. When they get to the steps, Rayzor puts one leg up and brushes his hair back before he makes it up to the apron and then steps over the ropes. In the ring he stands in the center and then raises both hands as fireworks come out of the back two ring post. He then makes his way over to the corner, rests both arms on the top rope and awaits the start of the match"

Frank Salazar : And introducing their opponents … coming in at a combined weight of 538 pounds … RAYZOR AND RDS2020!!!

Andrew Fulton : These guys are undefeated here in SWAT since returning to the ring. One of them victories against Valentine over there himself.

Jeremy Tucker : In that match, Syberus was badly injured and has been on the shelf ever since. Referee Vick Mackey calls for the bell and we are under way, RDS and Tux starting off proceedings. RDS charges at Tux and Tux catches him with a split legged crotch punch!

Andrew Fulton : RDS grabs at his jewels and goes down to a knee, and Tux drills him with a snap suplex. Then tags in Valentine.

Jeremy Tucker : RDS has clearly underestimated Tux, he and Jonnie are pro’s in every sense of the word. Split legged moonsault by Tux and Valentine nails RDS with a double underhook suplex.

Andrew Fulton : Rayzor is screaming at The Society from the outside, and Jonnie crotch chops towards him and then wraps RDS up in an arm ringer and tags in Tux.

Jeremy Tucker : Tux off the top turnbuckle springboard dragonrana.

Andrew Fulton : Tux tags Valentine back in and Jonnie Irish whips RDS into corner chest first, Jonnie tags Tux back in as RDS stumbles out into a half nelson release suplex. Tux now with an Armbar ropewalk into a la majistral cradle.

Jeremy Tucker : Two count and RDS kicks out. Both men back to their feet and RDS catches Tux with a brutal clothesline!

Andrew Fulton : That almost took Tux’s head off. RDS then delivers a gut buster to Tux and tags Rayzor in.

Jeremy Tucker : The big man enters the ring and locks Tux in a bear hug.

Andrew Fulton : He is grinning at Valentine on the outside with the bear hug locked in, mocking him for mentioning them earlier in the night.

Jeremy Tucker : Mackey asking Tux if he wants to quit and he shakes his head in refusal and Rayzor then runs Tux into his corner and tags RDS back in.

Andrew Fulton : RDS enters the ring and Russian leg sweeps Tux. RDS now with a series of elbow strikes to Tux, he then goes for a sidewalk slam but Tux reverses it and spins around RDS and comes down nailing a tornado DDT.

Jeremy Tucker : Tux tags in Jonnie and Double hiptoss into a double armdrag. Rayzor comes in and they double back body drop him.

Andrew Fulton : Jonnie with a Hammerlock northern lights suplex on Rayzor and turns around and RDS spears him!

Jeremy Tucker : RDS then launches himself over the ropes and flying tackles Tux off the apron to the outside floor.

Andrew Fulton : Jonnie gets up gingerly from the spear and Rayzor catches him with a running big boot!

Jeremy Tucker : Both teams giving it their all here, you got to think the Tag Champs the KGB will have their eyes on this match up. Rayzor with a big tilt a whirl back breaker on Jonnie and covers for a close two count.

Andrew Fulton : RDS slams Tux’s head into the steel ring steps. Then rolls him back into the ring.

Jeremy Tucker : RDS and Rayzor both lift up Tux. Rayzor holding him up for a powerbomb with RDS pushing him up there but Valentine picks up RDS in a torture rack and spins him around into a Rude Awakening neck breaker. Rayzor goes for the powerbomb but Tux reverses it into a Hurricanrana.

Andrew Fulton : Jonnie and Tux with a Double arm twist into a double superkick on Rayzor and RDS comes back and chop blocks Jonnie.

Jeremy Tucker : Tux whips RDS into the ropes and RDS holds onto them not bouncing off them, exposing Tux for a double Ax Handle from Rayzor.

Andrew Fulton : Rayzor now with a snake eyes on Tux. RDS nails Valentine with a reverse atomic drop, then a Samoan drop.

Jeremy Tucker : Rayzor grabs Tux and starts choking him with his boot against his throat and the ropes.

Andrew Fulton : RDS goes to pick up Jonnie but Jonnie rolls him up in a small package ………

Jeremy Tucker : One ……………

Two ……………….

THREE!!!!

Andrew Fulton : The Society did it!

Jeremy Tucker : Great win to Valentine and Tux! And RDS and Rayzors first loss here in SWAT!

Andrew Fulton : What a crock!

Jeremy Tucker : Jonnie and Tux roll out of the ring and Mackey raises their arms in victory as Ray and RDS fume in the ring.

Frank Salazar : Winners of the match … Jonnie Valentine and Tuxedo Mask … The Society of the NEW BREED!!!!
[/b]

[Venom 🕷]

El Combatiente is alone in the gym. He is straightening out a two foot tall box. Once he has it where he wants it he straightens up and leaps up onto the box and then back down. The camera pans out as he continues and we find his manager Javier sitting on a bench a ways away from his client with his back to him. He doesn’t need to watch this, he’s seen this all before. He’s looking directly into the camera as his client continues to jump over and over behind him.

Javier: Rally, let me begin by telling you everything my client doesn’t want me to say about you. He doesn’t want me to insult your athletic ability. He knows that he’s the superior athlete and you would only look like the better performer if you were both members of the Major League Eating league, but he wants me to avoid that. He doesn’t want me to talk about how he is in the best shape of his career while you look like you’re in the shape of someone whose given up on having a career in our business. He doesn’t want me to talk about how you have become so sloppy and self absorbed that you’re losing friends left and right while he’s got the X*Crown Champion at his door asking to form a team. He doesn’t want me to say any of this because he’s a good guy who wants to win off his merit alone. That’s fine because I know he could do that, but if I listened to him I’d have nothing to talk about and I get paid to talk Rally.

El Combatiente stops jumping on that box behind his manager and moves around that box to the next box in line. This one is raised on each side and dips down in the middle. He steps on and begins quickly leaping back and forth on the box 5 times landing on each side before stopping and starting again.

Javier: So I am going to talk about all of those things. Sure, most of them are layups that I don’t need to spend too much time on. Like the fact that you’ve become so fat and out of shape that even the security at the events don’t recognize you. Do I really need to harp on that? No, but I will anyway because it’s sad really. You’re a winner Rally, a champion. You’ve done things that no one else in this company has done, yet you look less like the man who people used to admire and more like the man who ate the man that people used to admire. You’ve become the character from the movie Nutty Professor if instead of making himself a skinnier version of himself he made himself the fattest version of himself. Is that what you want with your life Rally? To be on the top but no one recognizes you? If so you’re doing great, no one can recognize you and you’re so fat you can use the equator as a belt. But I digress, fat jokes aren’t what’s needed right now. Telling fat jokes to you is a disgrace to the people who are actually only fat.

In the background El Combatiente has finished with his second box and has moved on to the next station. We can’t see what it is because it’s flat on the ground, but we can tell the way he readies and then runs through it’s a rope ladder. He makes it to the end and walks back to the beginning to start again.

Javier: You’re not just fat though are you Rally? No, you’re grossly out of shape. While my client is training on his speed and agility you’re training to get slower and less agile by raising another cheeseburger to your face. We all watched that match last week trying to see who would eventually lose to my client and we all saw that you broke a sweat walking to the ring. Jonnie was clearly the better man in more ways than one, but his fondness for you got the better of him and you were able to pull out his kryptonite or let’s face it, you’d have lost. You couldn’t be in that ring much longer. It’d only been a few minutes before your ring gear looked like it hat been dropped in the oil of a deep fryer. You’re not prepared for in ring competition Rally, but you’ve managed to somehow find ways to win. That’s why even though my client is clearly the better athlete in every single way he’s not taking you lightly. He’s continuing to work and not let up. He’s continuing to game plan even though there’s not much in you playbook anymore. He’s doing whatever he can to be better prepared even though he’s not going to need it. Let’s face it though Rally, even if you were in the best shape of your life you wouldn’t stand a chance against my client. At your peak you were still grossly out of shape and spent more time coming on to women who wanted nothing to do with you. While you were focused on chasing skirts and counting on your friends to do the real work my client was chasing wins on his own with no need for people to have his back. He’s better than you at your best, and quite frankly even though you’ve managed the top title we all know you’re not near your best.

As Javier pauses we see El Combatiente behind him walk over the the first box again. He leaps on and off forward. He jumps onto the next box and jumps back and forth and then jumps forward and then runs through the rope ladder. He jogs back to the first box and does all three again.

Javier: Why aren’t you at your best Rally? Is it because of the obesity? The laziness? No, it’s because you’ve alienated every last person who had your back. You got here because of them Rally. You got here by being a part of the Society of the New Breed and now they’re gone. They want nothing to do with you. My client, he got here on his own and thanks to the KGB that’s no longer become and option. So now he has friends. I’m sure you’ve met them before. The legendary Radu. The founder Soutter. THE Lucky Linda. They’re not in a fancy stable like you were with your friends, but they have each other’s backs and they have an understanding. SWAT isn’t the only place he has friends. When my client handed out an award at the Destiny end of year awards the King Brad Swann did something he doesn’t do to most people, he hugged him. Although he is a tyrant he hugged my client and has expressed interest in working together. That alone is one of the biggest names on the Network with a desire to work with my client, but it’s not the biggest name that has contacted my client. See, my client once he defeats you for that title is going to hop on a plane and join the X*Crown Champion in J-Rok and compete as partners i there tag team tournament. Two men at the top of their games working together. Meanwhile, you’re here alone with no one to comfort you but the lady of the night that you might hire to console you after defeat.

Javier laughs at his joke and goes to continue berating the champion when he’s interrupted by El Combatiente who sits next to him after finishing his sets.

El Combatiente: Rally, respeto todo lo que has hecho por esta compañía. Sin ti no estaría donde estoy hoy. Lo que usted y sus amigos han hecho en el pasado para luchar por esta compañía contra la KGB y los otros villanos en su camino han superado el camino para mí. Ahora estamos en un curso de colisión en ese anillo. Estoy emocionado de compartir ese anillo contigo y hacer un espectáculo para estos fans. Por favor, sepa que mi respeto termina cuando suene esa campana. Es entonces cuando el campeonato esté en juego y haré lo que sea necesario para ganar. Espero que hagas lo mismo. Tú serás mi único foco, ya que respetaré los deseos de Soutter. Esta noche solo nos referiremos a ti y a mí. Voy a dejar a la KGB fuera de mi mente durante la noche y dejar que Soutter, Radu y Linda se ocupen de los negocios sin mí. Que el padrino Rally, aunque sea tú, te extenderé la mano cuando desaparezca el humo.
Rally, I respect everything you have done for this company. Without you I would not be where I am today. What you and your friends have done in the past to fight for this company against the KGB and the other villains in your way have over the way for me. Now we are on a collision course in that ring. I am excited to share that ring with you and put on a show for these fans. Please know though that my respect ends once that bell rings. That is when the championship is on the line and I will do what it takes to win. I expect you to do the same. You will be my only focus as I will respect Soutter’s wishes. Tonight will be just about you and I. I will put the KGB out of my mind for the night and let Soutter, Radu and Linda handle business without me. May the best man Rally, even if that is you I will extend my hand to you when the smoke clears.)

Javier: He respects you Rally. He’s excited to face you. He said let the best man win. The best man will win Rally. My client.

The camera cuts on the last word.

[eddied]

(Eddie D is at a press conference in Philadelphia to promote the SWAT Battlelines event and his celebrity friend Arnold Schwarzenegger is there to interview him.
Gabriel Tuck is loitering in the background as Eddie and Arnold meet with a meaty handshake.)

ARNOLD: It's a rare pleasure to be back here with SWAT and with my old buddy Eddie D.
Let me start by asking how you're settling in ahead of the event. How have the Philly crowds been accepting you so far?

EDDIE: They haven't. They've got an attitude like they're the big deal on the East Coast.
That is controversial at best, deluded at worst, but now I'm here it's just plain wrong.
I am THE Big Deal.
Not a bit of a big deal. THE BIG DEAL.
Look around Arnie, I'm no stranger to a cheesesteak, but this town is living on a diet of Scrapple, cheap beer and false hope that they'll ever be as relevant as New York.
Other than that I just wash down the ugly aftertaste of having to breath the same air as these Flyers fans with a glass of ice cold wooder.

ARNOLD:
Wooder? Is that a local craft beer?

EDDIE: No it's how they say water in the semi-detached slums around here.

ARNOLD:
I think the people of Phily are great, but I'm Austrian and even I know that's not how to say water. Ha Ha... But lets get on track.
You are still the SWAT Renegade Champion but you face a fresh challenge tonight. “The Paragon of Sleaze’ Keith Williams. After a great showing at Helloween are you worried about this challenge?

EDDIE: Well I respect anyone willing and stupid enough to get in the ring with me, but...

(Gabriel Tuck clears his throat loudly and Eddie steps a half-step away and Tuck offers some pointers that the sound man can't pickup. Eddie nods and returns to the mic.)

EDDIE: "If it bleeds, we can kill it."
I am KGB now.
I fear no one and all the hype around Williams is all SWAT fake news and utter baloney.

ARNOLD: Well the Facepage and Twatter feeds are alive after your actions in the main event between Valentine and Jackson last week.
I don't think we've really spoken since Trent Jones went AWOL, but I was shocked to hear that you joined the KGB. Anarchy still courses through your veins though clearly...
It doesn't sound like you are on the same hymn sheet as Armand. You were meant to help Rally, but it looked like you were trying to help Valentine at the end of the match there?

EDDIE: I make no bones about the fact that I hate Rally Jackson... and sometimes... taking this belt from around his ample waist just doesn't feel like revenge enough. It's just so much fun hating and beating on that big lug... 

(Gabriel Tuck clears his throat loudly again and Eddie steps a half-step away and Tuck offers some more pointers. Eddie nods and returns to the mic.)

EDDIE: "I’m not into politics, I’m into survival."
Armand and I are completely on the same page.
HeHeHe and HaHaHa were clearly the reason everything went wrong that night and Armand is tackling their failure with a measured and appropriate reprimand.
The KGB are stronger than ever.

ARNOLD: You know I love watching you perform, but we've also seen criticism online of the moves you use being too old school and predictable. How do you answer those claims?

EDDIE: You can say online, but I know who the online campaign is lead by. It's that hypocrite Johnnie Valentine! The man is a wrestling throwback using a lot of the same moves I do, granted with a modicum of extra agility than me. He loves an effective brainbuster and bearhug just as much as I do, so he can dropkick his bullshit comments off an online abyss for all I care. And another thing about the main event last week... Out of the goodness of my heart, after being slightly responsible for him losing the title a while ago, I gave Valentine the belt to bash Rally with and the idiot threw it back at me. He literally threw away the title....

(Gabriel Tuck clears his throat loudly and Tuck offers Eddie a withering look. Eddie nods and returns his gaze to Arnie.)

EDDIE: But as I said before, Armand and I are completely on the same page.
HeHeHe and HaHaHa were clearly the reason everything went wrong that night and Armand has forgiven any misunderstanding around my actions and motives on the night. 

ARNOLD: I know you're proud of being SWAT Renegade Champion, you look in great form, you're in confident mood, but what is the next goal for you? Do you aspire to being World Champion some day?

EDDIE: Of course. I didn't come here to make up the numbers. I, ...

(Gabriel Tuck clears his throat even more loudly and Eddie takes a step away from the mic and Tuck offers some mutterings. Eddie nods and returns to the mic.)

EDDIE: I will naturally support whoever the KGB puts forward as our prospective world champion and naturally I'll be working hard in each match to put myself in contention for that.
One for all and all for the KGB.

ARNOLD: I know you of old big guy. We go way back. Don't take this the wrong way but I must say... should I be interviewing this lackey or should I be talking to you?

EDDIE: Hey Arnie? You know I'll always be honest with you. Gabriel here is just helping me keep on message, on brand, because it's taking time for me to adapt to stable life.
It's like living with someone new after years living alone. You get into some bad habits that you need to change if that relationship is going to flourish.

ARNOLD: So what drives you now? A will to succeed for yourself or a will to impress your new pay masters?

(Gabriel Tuck clears his throat loudly again, but Eddie just stares at him.)

EDDIE: You really need to get that cough looked at, maybe get an extra Covid test too. I know exactly what my motivation is...
"What is best in life? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women!"

ARNOLD: That's my Eddie; with the movie quotes and the snappy answers.
I wish you the best against Keith Williams and I hope you go on to bigger and better things.

EDDIE: Thanks Arnie.

Filthydelphia?!!
"Spawn of a Striptease" Keith Williams?!!
BRING... IT... ON!

(Eddie, Gabriel and Arnie are all smiles as they walk off of the small stage, as some under-card SWAT wrestlers set up their own interviews ahead of the waiting press and socially distanced fans.)

[Kyle]

KEITH. WILLIAMS.

A gold plate neatly chiseled with these letters has been hung outside of a private locker room, several steps up in quality from the normal variety that consists of paper encased in plastic. As we make our way inside everything has been poshed over, transforming a typically dull space into a much more elegant room. A large couch, several chairs, candles lit to set the mood, and a table offering refreshments as well as a dish with only green M&Ms. There's no windows, but curtains have been placed on the walls to fake like there are. Classy.

Briskly exiting the bathroom, Keith emerges clothed in a velvet robe that barely covers all of him. Constantly at risk of exposure with the outfit he's wearing, Williams grabs a bottle of champagne and greedily gulps at it, spilling his fair share all over the floor.

The Paragon Sleaze scoops a handful of the milk chocolate morsels into his mouth, noisily chewing on them until he suddenly swallows them all down. Deciding the couch is a proper place to lounge, Keith casually slumps his body onto it, hiking up a leg for maximum comfort while still not showing anything that would require pixels.

Keith Williams: "I might have misspoken when I let loose a few nasty comments about SWAT previously. In the lap of luxury, I'm eating my own words for what I had to say. As it turns out... Including myself, there's now a handful of talented wrestlers in this company!"

Laughing, Keith shoots the camera a double thumbs up as he smiles and makes himself comfortable.

Keith Williams: "Accordingly, since I've signed a contract of sorts with Syndicate Wrestling & Tradition, there's a statement I've been asked to relay."

In a dramatic manner, The Sleazy One clears his throat and forces the viewing audience to wait for it.

Keith Williams: "I'm sorry..."

Is that it? Nope, it doesn't look like it.

Keith Williams: "I'm sorry so many of you suck. I'm sorry you can't make a name for yourself in your own promotion. I'm sorry management recognizes and rewards deserving talent like myself. I'm sorry that your importance will lessen with my arrival. I'm sorry that success doesn't follow you everywhere like The ReVenants."

He has to be done, right? Hold on, one more apology.

Keith Williams: "Most of all, I'm sorry you'll never compare. And you know who you are, you're the one watching this seething. Angry because in the short span of time I've arrived I've already created a buzz. Because those in charge are rolling out the red carpet for a TRUE kahuna! Giving in to every desire of mine, desperate for the attention I bring with me. Don't hate the player, don't hate the game, hate the fact you're high on complacency for being second best."

Longingly stroking his mustache, The Paragon of Sleaze stares at the camera. Possibly miffed or aroused by the loathing.

Keith Williams: "At Helloween in the Cell, I'll admit I had a slight problem with self-control. Linda, can you really blame me? You knew the risk of your invitation. The allure of the gold, the thrill of hurting everything in my path was too much to handle. When the rest of the roster is operating at a ten, I always push it to the max and extend myself to eleven. I can't help it; I'm an overachiever! I regret nothing!"

What's left of the champagne in his hand is sloppily dumped into his mouth, sloshing plenty on the couch that starts to soak in.

Keith Williams: "As sad as it was to see El Combatiente win, I feel better knowing the prize he gained is an uphill battle. Until now he's been masquerading as the savior of SWAT, but that hasn't been without help. Will ELC be able to overcome everything on his own? Or will he abandon his principles and accept indentured servitude with the KGB? Personally, I wouldn't be caught dead accepting or wearing one of their cheap shirts."

Laying the bottle beside him, Keith makes a poor attempt to tighten the robe he's wearing.

Keith Williams: "Speaking of flunkies, that brings us to... Edward. I haven't forgotten about you, big guy. How could I? After the way you laid your strong hands on me I won't ever forget. THE Big Deal, you've rightfully earned that name, but there's also a reason why no one calls you THE Big Brain. Did my infatuation for Radu scare you off? You don't understand how huge a mistake you're making by aligning with the KGB. They don't treasure you like I do, like The ReVenants would. Have you noticed how your group treats its members? You're only useful to them until you're not. That carrot they're dangling is rotten to the core, Edward. As much as you try, you'll never reach it. Even if you did, you wouldn't like the taste."

Making a revolted face, Williams spits on the couch to emphasis his comment.

Keith Williams: "You've done your part to enhance the championship you're holding; it's my turn. Like Rally Jackson before you, I'm putting an end to your reign. How does a renegade stack up to a revenant? We're going to find out, Edward. So you don't want to join The ReVenants right now, that's fine. That's a-okay! I'm patient. I can wait."

Glancing at the various burning candles, The Sleaze God re-directs his gaze back to the camera.

Keith Williams: "But I'm only willing to wait so long. My patience isn't endless, nor is my understanding. Let me reassure you, I can be a tremendously convincing person. And if I have to smack some sense into your fat head, I'll do it. Tough love, that's part of accepting a spot in the wolfpack. The ReVenants are wolves; we're wolves that stick together."

Letting the alcohol work its magic, Williams relaxes further and splays out completely on the couch.

Keith Williams: "Despite THE Big Deal having cold feet, that hasn't stopped me from scouring for other skilled names to join. You thought you were the only prospect, Edward? Wrong! I've had talks with someone that's itching to make an impact just like I am. Would you like to meet them? Play your cards right and maybe you will."

Winking, Keith waves off the camera as the scene fades to black.

[edwarddubin0604]

(The locker room is dark with only a swinging lightbulb shining as Psychotic Goth is laying on the floor his back to the wall. He stares ominously into the camera laughing and chanting in Lenape dialect.)

Psychotic Goth: "Oh Pequeno Dinosaurio you deceive yourself. You see my gothic persona and my wife's personas are quite genuine. You see I am a true goth and my wife is a true practicing vampire. You see Pequeno Dinosaurio I got into the goth culture a while ago. Everyone kept telling me and tried to make me change my persona."

(He laughs maniacally.)

Psychotic Goth: "All have failed in convincing me to change my persona. You see many have changed their personas and many have failed in the efforts to go over with the fans. My wife is into the dark arts and that's no gimmick or persona. Do not dare fate with the forces or darkness Pequeno Dinosaurio."

(He speaks in Lenape dialect.)

Psychotic Goth: "Now you misinterpreted my intentions Pequeno Dinosaurio. I know luchadores always wear their masks as tradition. It's part of the mystique of Mexican wrestlers such as yourself and I was just showing respect to you Pequeno Dinosaurio. I wanted to compliment you but you took it the wrong way which I shall forgive you."

(Psychotic Goth pauses.)

Psychotic Goth: "However, I was quite genuine when I said you are a true star of the future and a future champion but not tonight against the 'King of the Goths.' You are facing me at an unfortunate time. As I mentioned before I'm on a quest to erase an injustice that has been eating at me for three years. It's an obsession that I have been tormenting me for the last three years."

(He roars demonically.)

Psychotic Goth: "Tonight I wipe out that injustice and make it right. Like I mentioned it's unfortunate that you are the opponent who must be in the ring with me. Such an unfortunate circumstance but you shall be learning how it feels to be facing the champion in your debut match in SWAT. Consider it a learning experience. Consider it a memory that you shall remember forever."

(Psychotic Goth gets up and lowers his head and extends his arms flinging his head back revealing his pale handsome goth like looks.)

Psychotic Goth: "Pequeno Dinosaurio enjoy the moment when you step into the ring with me. I'm sure your agent is going to be recording the match but all for naught. I'm sure she'll be spinning everything even as I speak but be warned 'The King of the Goths' shall not rest until the injustice brought upon me in Philadelphia is vanquished. Thus I have spoken and thus my omen shall come true."

(He grabs the swinging lightbulb and the bulb sparks and gos out as he laughs demonically and the scne slowly fades to black.)

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: Up next we have one of Andrew's new favorite wrestlers, Oxford Osland. I thought we were going to have to get you a cigarette when that match was over last time.

Andrew Fulton: I took a lot of heat from social media after my commentary in Oxford's match last month. The internet trolls questioning my sexuality. I don't have to explain myself to anyone.

Jeremy Tucker: Of course you don't. Oxford Osland is going to take on...

Andrew Fulton: I'm attracted to women.

Jeremy Tucker:
That is good to know considering Oxford taking on Mr. No Woman No Cry himself, Benjamin Bolt.

Andrew Fulton: No women? No no no. Plenty of women. I am totally into women.

Jeremy Tucker:
Let's take it to you, Frank!

Frank Salazar: Our next contest is scheduled for one fall!

Crowd: ONE FALL

Frank Salazar: Introducing first, currently in the ring from Kingston, Jamaica.......... BENJAMIN BOLT!!!!


Andrew Fulton: Ben-jamin, I finally get it! Because he's "been jammin!!"

<As the beat from Elevators by Outkast pops through the arena, Oxford Osland emerges from behind the curtain with a confident smirk plastered all over his face. Osland doesn't bother mingling with the fans at all, as he walks calmly to the ring. Once he arrives, he walks up the stairs and wipes his boots on the apron. Osland enters in between the top and middle rope and does a lap of the ring before getting acquainted with his corner. Osland keeps his eyes focused on his opponent, while waiting for the referee to signal for the bell.>

Frank Salazar: And his opponent, wrestling out of Indianapolis, Indiana..... standing at 6'4" and weighing in at 254 lbs...... OXFORD OSLAND!!!

Jeremy Tucker: A real blue chipper this one, a lot of the experts are saying this is the future of the company.

Andrew Fulton: There is nothing at all wrong with acknowledging the fact that another man is attractive.

::DingDing::

Jeremy Tucker: That is the bell and as Oxford Osland goes to lock up, Benjamin breaks free and runs to the ropes!!

Andrew Fulton: Well a Jamaican with surname Bolt, one has to assume he's pretty quick on his feet.

Jeremy Tucker: Bolt runs the ropes a couple times and bounces back with a huge shoulder block that takes Osland off his feet! I did not see that coming!!

Andrew Fulton: Not the face!! Please, not the face!!

Jeremy Tucker: Osland rolls out of the ring to retaliate and Bolt comes out after him! He runs the ropes again and leaps to the outside of the ring!!

Andrew Fulton: But misses!! Oh thank God!!

Jeremy Tucker: Easy buddy, Osland rolls Bolt back into the ring and follows in after him with that ground and pound. Bringing in that hybrid MMA type style.

<Osland leaps to his feet after landing a few punches and motions for Benjamin Bolt to get up. As Bolt makes it to his feet, Oxford goes behind him and locks on a cobra clutch.>

Andrew Fulton: As I see Oxford put on this submission, and the veins in his arms are popping out, I can just sit here and say with confidence in my own sexuality... that this is a handsome man.

Jeremy Tucker: We got it. But he doesn't hold the submission long as he takes him all the way over in a suplex. Going for the cover.....

1................

2....................

Andrew Fulton: SWEEEEEEEET!

Jeremy Tucker: Don't you start that. Osland lifts Bolt back up from behind and tosses him with a release German suplex with ease!!

Andrew Fulton: Oxford defeated our Indian wrestler last month. Now he's going after the Jamaican. Does Oxford Osland hate curry?

Jeremy Tucker: Trying to figure out what restaurant you're going to ask him on a date to?

Andrew Fulton: EXCUSE ME. Would you please be professional? I'm trying to call a match here.

Jeremy Tucker: Well if you were trying to call the match, you could have pointed out that Osland picked Bolt back up and landed a discus elbow to the back of the head! So dangerous!! That's how you get brain damage!!

<Before Bolt had a chance to to fall, Osland scoops him over his shoulders, walks him to the center of the ring, and lands a Samoan Drop.>

1...................

2..............

KICKOUT!!!

Andrew Fulton: The Buffalo Soldier has some work to do if he wants to get back in this match.

Jeremy Tucker: Osland lifts Bolt up over his shoulders in a guerilla press position. He's just holding him up there!

Andrew Fulton: I think I'm going to have a conversation with Oxford after this match.

Jeremy Tucker: Oh yea why is that?

Andrew Fulton: I want to know his shoulder routine. I need deltoids like his. They are objectively beautiful.

Jeremy Tucker: It's called great genetics. And he drops Benjamin Bolt into a European uppercut! Nearly took his head off!!

Andrew Fulton: He's so good looking, I mean he's such a good wrestler.

1.......................

2.........................

KICKOUT!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Osland lifts him back over his shoulders and runs across the ring into a powerslam.

Andrew Fulton: The dreadlock rasta is in a world of hurt right now

Jeremy Tucker: Instead of going for the pin, Osland opts to bring him back to his feet and lock in a full nelson. Perhaps going back to his days as a Boilermaker where he pinned many a man off the half nelson position.

Andrew Fulton: You mean there's footage out there from when he was younger?

Jeremy Tucker: Osland drops back now with a dragon suplex, holds it for the pin.....

1.......................

2...........................

BARELY KICKS OUT!

Andrew Fulton: He must chase the women off with a stick, I swear...

Jeremy Tucker: Back off the ropes now and comes back with a clothesline where he hooks the arm around the neck.

<Bolt hits the mat hard and starts gagging and coughing uncontrollably from the shot to the throat.>

Andrew Fulton: Oh no!! He's got corona!! Keep him away from me!

Jeremy Tucker: It was a heavy shot to the throat. Osland is relentless, though. He leaps on top of him with a head and arm triangle.

Andrew Fulton: ::drooling::

Jeremy Tucker: Uhh ok, I'll just keep going. Will Benjamin Bolt tap? Is he going to give it up or persevere?

<Neither, it looks as if Bolt is starting to lose consciousness from cutting off the blood at the carotid artery. Osland turns him on his stomach and switches to a cattle mutilation.>

Andrew Fulton: I am feeling so many emotions right now, I am just so confused.

Jeremy Tucker: That is the Agony of Defeat!! He has the Agony of Defeat locked on!!!

Andrew Fulton: I might have to have a long conversation with my wife.

Jeremy Tucker: Benjamin Bolt taps!! He just tapped out!! This one is over!!

Andrew Fulton: I guess Bolt won't be jammin until at least tomorrow.

Frank Salazar: Here is your winner as a result of a submission......................... OXFORD OSLAND!!!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Another great win for Osland. Now I want to see him against someone higher up the card.

Andrew Fulton: I just want to see more of him. Because he's so good in the ring I mean. I would buy his compilation dvd.

Jeremy Tucker: DVD? People stream everything now.

Andrew Fulton: Not pro wrestling fans.

[Deleted]

Cameras are rolling, documenting the first night in SWAT for Pequeno Dinosaurio. Stepping off a set fresh from a photo shoot for SWAT promotional material, Dinosaurio is practically ambushed by his agent, the sultry Latina, Vanessa Martinez.

“Great photo shoot! Pictures, trading cards, programs. SWAT has a surprising mix of promotional material.” Catching herself before slipping into marketing mode, Vanessa remembers why she ran up to her client in the first place. “Your opponent sent out another video. A response could help keep focus on your debut. Besides, you’ve got to see this!”

Handing him his phone, within moments he’s watching the clip back. The young luchador shakes his head, smiling.

“For someone who’s supposed to be melancholy and mysterious, he sure talks a lot.” Adjusting his mask, Dinosaurio continues. “I mean, ese’s loco. He’s crazy, but he actually got a lot of things right. I will be a future star. I will be a future champion. But I wouldn’t be laughing if I were him, because the future is coming for him later tonight! There’s lots of footage of him for me to study, there’s been plenty of time for me to find the weaknesses I need to win. There’s very little video of me. I’m ready. He keeps talking about injustice and righting a wrong done to him. That cabron should know, the past can’t haunt me, especially his past. Tonight isn’t about a belt he didn’t win. It’s about that SWAT Television Championship!”

Noticing the camera man is still rolling, he turns to the audience.

“When I am Television Champion, I promise to make it about the championship, and not me. That is the mark of a true champion. That ese, is how you build your legacy. I will be a champion not for glory, but for the people! The SWAT fans!”

Hearing their cheers even backstage, the emerald dinosaur is fired up. “Yes! The Television Championship will be for the fans again! Psychotic Goth, I’m not confused or deceiving myself. I am the next SWAT Television Champion. Not because I say so or because I spray mist and play with light bulbs, but because I’ll out work you cabron. I don’t need hype, I don’t need silly omens ese. I don’t need to laugh like a fool or snarl like a rabid dog. Your tricks don’t work on me cabron.” Waving his finger, the young dinosaur is putting the Television Champion on notice. “I put in the work every day to be at my absolute best. Tonight is the beginning and there is no better start to my journey here in SWAT, than to show the world I am THE rookie to follow. The future is now cabron. Pequeno Dinosaurio, SWAT Television Champion! You can feel it in the air, something special is about to happen…”

Walking away, Dinosaurio and Vanessa have much to discuss before what is promising to be one of the more memorable debuts in recent SWAT history.

Fade to black.

[vastrix]

At Armand's office, Armand von Krauss sits back in his chair and smokes an Egptian cigarette. He flicks ashes onto the floor as the door to his office is opened and Gabriel Tuck walks into the room with a frightened young man. He roughly shoves the young man into a seat in front of the desk and stands by the door as if he were guarding it. Armand blows smoke into the man's face, who coughs from the harshness of the smoke.

Von Krauss: Who do we have here, Gabriel?

Gabriel puts a hand on the man's shoulder, who cringes.

Tuck: Joey Richards. He's owner of fiver percent of SWAT.

Armand nods with a smile. He gets out his golden cigarette box, opens it, and offers it to Joey.

Von Krauss: Zigarette?

Joey looks at the cigarettes, turning his nose up from the smell of them.

Richards: No, thank you. I know what you want, Armand. I won't give it to you.

Armand narrows his eyes, blowing smoke into the air.

Von Krauss: You know I desire your shares. I will pay you twice the stated price for them.

Richards: With the shares, I get a say on board meetings! I won't give up my rights in the company! You can't threaten my life on television. I know my rights!

Von Krauss: Of course. I wouldn't dream of threatening your the fernsehen.

Joey breathes a sigh of relief upon hearing those words.

Von Krauss: That's why I will have Gabriel do it for me.

Joey's eyes go wide as Gabriel chuckles in his ear.

Richards: WHAT?

Tuck: It's a real simple thing, Joey. Sell the shares and you get to walk out of here alive. Fail to sell the shares and-

Gabriel draws a heavy revolver and shoots Joey in the right foot! Joey screams out in pain.

Richards: FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! Alright! I'll sell! You didn't have to shoot me in the fucking foot!

Tuck: I know, but it was more fun this way.

Joey gets out his cell phone and Armand gets out his so they can do the transaction to get the shares transferred over to Armand to bring his total up to 20% of ownership shares of SWAT.

Von Krauss: Help out friend to medical.

Tuck: The medical people who help the wrestlers? Sure thing, boss. I'll help him toward his destination.

Richards: Thank you…

Gabriel helps Joey up, leaving a trail of blood behind him as he drags the foot. Gabriel has one arm of Joey around his shoulders as he walks out the door.

They get a ways down the hallway when Gabriel stops.

Tuck: Next time you're asked to sell something, you'll do it quicker. Won't you?

Richards: Yeah. Hopefully before getting sh-

Gabriel throws Joey down to the floor, laughing.

Tuck: I'd say that we're about halfway there. Drag yourself the rest of the way.

Richards: Please! Help me! You did this to me!

Gabriel draws his heavy revolver.

Tuck: You want me to do it again?

Richards: No! Fuck no! I'll drag myself!

Joey begins dragging himself down the hallway. Gabriel heads back to Armand's office with a laugh. Armand looks up from his computer.

Von Krauss: Did you get him to the medic?

Gabriel just shrugs, taking his seat in front of the desk.

Tuck: I got him almost there. Good enough.

Von Krauss: Good enough.

[Deleted]

Back in his make shift locker room, Pequeno Dinosaurio is taping his wrists in preparation for his match. Checking and re-checking, a sudden knock at the door is a welcome distraction from such a mundane task.

Opening the door, Dinosaurio sees pale white skin, a black Jack Skellington shirt likely from a local Hot Topic, torn black jeans practically spray painted on, wrist scratches deep enough for attention but not harm and an expression that both sought attention while simultaneously ensuring no one said hello...he knew this must be one of the so-called “King of the Goths” “subjects”, but he still offers up a friendly, “Can I help you?”

The pale one sighs, “Like...whatever. WAY too nice. No wonder I’m here.” Sighing deeply, it was clear whatever this was about was cutting into his Marilyn Manson cosplay time. Stepping into the room, the melancholy messenger sighs again. “‘They’ sent me.”

Genuinely confused, the normally bilingual Dinosaur can only respond in his native tongue, “Que demonios? ‘Ellos’?” Catching himself, he tries again, “Sorry, did you say ‘they’ sent you?”

Sighing as though his very life-force itself were being exhaled. Leaving his parents’ basement was clearly torture for the lad, he may even have seen the sun today. “Yes, ‘they’. The Cradle of Filth fan club! They are not impressed with all this laughing you do. Laughter is bad for goth business. As a result, we’re going to have to revoke your goth status for thirty days.”

Stunned into silence as the SWAT rookie tries to reconcile how someone could mistake him for a six and a half foot Vampire Lestat wannabe, long awkward moments pass before Dinosaurio regains the capacity for speech. “Ummm cabron, I think you have the wrong dressing room ese. Wait did you say a cradle of filth?”

“Not a literal cradle of filth, that would be horrible. ‘Cradle of Filth’ are actually one of the best contemporary dark wave bands in the world.” Rolling his eyes and tossing his teased hair out of his eyes, he needs to be sure. “You sure you’re not…let me see here…” sliding a crumpled McDonald’s receipt from the confines of his second skin jeans, he checks something scribbled on the back. “…Psychotic Goth?”

Not knowing if this were a joke on the ‘new guy’ or some odd tactic from his opponent, Dinosaurio takes the high road, “No cabron, sorry. I think you are being ribbed my friend, you definitely are in the wrong place amigo. Perhaps one of the road agents can help you.”

Seeming that sighs make up a third of this guy’s communication Dinosaurio doesn’t even notice as he escorts the confused and misguided emissary from his locker room.

Removing ear buds, Vanessa is oblivious. “What the hell was that?”

Chuckling as he shuts the door, he shrugs. “I don’t know, but I think someone just welcomed me to the roster. Papa had said the boys get creative with their jokes, but hombre es loco.”

[mosler]

{{THE INDUSTRIAL WOMAN.}}

{{A door swings open as Sabrina Sinstone enters the Industrial Woman’s dressing room. Looking like a mad scientist’s laboratory out of a 50s sci-fi film – every inch of the space is covered by wires, pipes, cables, and monitors. In the centre of the maelstrom, KO Woman sits in one could best be described as a recharging center.}}

Sabrina Sinstone: Is this a good time?

I-W: Sinstone, Sabrina. Enter.

Sabrina Sinstone: Thanks.

I-W: Sinstone, Sabrina – state the nature of your appearance.

Sabrina Sinstone: Management has me conducting interviews as an alternate for Glenda on programs I’m not wrestling. I was hoping to get some words with you on tonight’s match, Industrial Woman.

I-W: ILLOGICAL.

Sabrina Sinstone: How so?

I-W: Event, Helloween in a Cell. This unit performed optimally. At peak performance, simulations confirmed Lucky Linda team to have a 65% chance of achieving victory. Keith William’s suboptimal performance altered that probability to a 95% chance of defeat. Williams prevented La Fey’s victory. Yet on the subsequent program, this unit is in a suboptimal card position in a randomized tag encounter, while Williams has been rewarded with a championship title shot. Does not compute.

Sabrina Sinstone: Oh Industrial Woman... you have a lot to learn about gender inequality.

{{…}}

I-W: Processing.

Sabrina Sinstone: Will you be gunning for revenge on Williams?

I-W: Negative. The unit does not experience such emotions. Williams was just functioning within his limited capabilities. Should Linda harbour animosity for Williams’ behaviour, this unit has little doubt she will permanently void his warranty.

Sabrina Sinstone: As for the random tag encounter, tonight?

I-W: Sinstone, Sabrin-

Sabrina Sinstone: Please, call me Rina.

I-W: Confirmation. Rina. Rayven Ryder is a potentially strong addition to the Amazon division. Schematics indicate that with the proper opportunities, Ryder could become a longstanding member of the division. Unfortunately, her introduction to Syndicate Wrestling And Tradition has been greeted by the petty jealousies of the Hired Killers. Rather than foster new talent, welcoming Rayven to the community, they rant about performers that are not with the company, and create personal vendettas where none exist. Will Rayven Ryder perform at peak efficiency in our encounter? 70% chance of underperformance due to Hire Killer hazing.

Sabrina Sinstone: You don’t seem to have much faith in your partner.

I-W: Correction, Rina. Rayven Ryder is an efficient partner. It is important for her future; however, to maintain the high level of performance she is capable of. The point this unit is making is that The Hired Killers should not place blame for their lack of championship opportunities on Olympia, Rayven, or other.

Sabrina Sinstone: It doesn’t sound like you think too highly of Jade or Kim.

I-W: RUN PROGRAM. Junkyard of Stupid Gimmicks.

{{The monitors of the room create a massive image of a garbage dump, littered with promotional images that look like the Shootfighter’s family. A projector on the ceiling animates a rudimentary 3-D model. The model looks around at the pictures around him, and polygons form a visible sneer.}}

Composite: Look at zese. Ze family of Shootfighter. Zey are all Zai, not zat any aspect of ze country is worked into zeir identities. We all know a million holds, not zat any of zem make sense in ze context of zeir matches, and half ze time it seems like zey’ve just pulled zem out of a book.  Zey follow Psychotic Goth like mindless slaves. What defines zem?  Zey are trained assassins, but let's roll zat to ze side and just focus on being ze wives of brothers. God forbid zey have lives of zeir own, ze moment ze boys have anything going on, ze girls just drop back and put zeir careers on hold. Is it Olympia taking zeir shots, or zem giving ze shots to her?  Zey talk shit about others gimmicks, proud of being ze nonessential wives of idiots zat everyone considers asexual losers at best. If ze name ze Hire Killers had been taken, zey could have been ze beards.

{{The monitors turn blood red. The projector stops, eliminating the 3-D model. The lights once again come up, as The Industrial Woman turns her head to Sabrina.}}

I-W: Subservient. Kim follows Jade who follows Tong who follows everyone. Commendably consistent, but as the backbone of the Amazon division, alterations are required. They currently bully new talent, functioning as a virus. There is a 60% chance of victory, with Rayven acting as an unknown factor. Winning is not the goal. Adjusting the Hired Killers parameters remains primary function.

Sabrina Sinstone: How do you reprogram them?

I-W: The Hired Killers believe they will not be invited into the No Man’s Land tournament. Inquiry, Why? Second inquiry, who is stopping them? Have they received orders from one of their many masters to let another Shootfighter pet focus on victory? If not, only they stand in their own ways. Jade and Kim need to prove that they have something to contribute to that tournament. That they deserve it. That worth will not be in picking on new talent, but they must turn heads. As the unit wishes to build momentum going into the tournament, it will turn their heads – clean off.

Sabrina Sinstone: A lot of us are looking forwards to you straightening them out, Industrial Woman.

I-W: Affirmative.  Rina.

{{Sabrina turns to the camera with a smile as we fade to black.}}

[Lucky Linda]

Linger, Cranberries hits and Lucky Linda makes her way down the ramp way, high fiving the fans.

“Top of the morin to ya Philly!” Linda greets the crowd for a cheap pop. “Battleground #33. Battle Lines. The Battle Lines are indeed being drawn here in SWAT. We went to Helloween and the entire roster showed the KGB that there are repercussions for everyone’s actions.” Linda smiles and walks around the ring.

“Tonight the battle lines are on full display for the world to see, and everyone knows on which side of the line I stand. The GOOD side! In a World where everyone wants to be the cool ‘bad guy’, some of us here at SWAT are happy to fight the good fight! Here at SWAT we have lots of nasty ‘bad guys’. They have all turned on me, and each other. Bad guys like Keith Williams. What was it I just said, there are repercussions for everyone’s actions, I got my repercussion at Helloween for choosing a slime ball like you to be on my team. You Keith. You will get your comeuppance soon enough. I am officially challenging YOU Paragon of Sleaze to a one on one match with Lady Luck herself. That’s little ole me, Lucky Linda La Fey. Time to pay the Piper Williams.” Linda leans against the ropes.

“Also tonight we have some battle lines being drawn in my main man, The Founders Lumberjack match. I know that Paul will tear Bruno apart, but, what was it we just mentioned ….” Linda ponders for a moment … “Oh, that’s right. We have lots of them nasty smelly ‘villains’ roaming our locker room and roster. Real smelly.” Linda holds her nose for a moment … “I mean, they stink! So, know this Jackals. I WILL be a lumberjack and I WILL …” Linda breaks into song … “Stand By My Man.”

“Radu is a rock of SWAT and I will gladly team with him tonight as we reunite SWAT Classic against Armand and the Amazons Champ Blaze Freya.” Linda oozes determination and something a little more, passion. “But know this Radu, tag team partners or not, IF you are bringing back in our doors who I think you are, as this mystery lumberjack, then he will meet his repercussions finally for his actions. Apart from that, I have your back in our tag match and whatever this is between you and Paul and you leaving him in the ring on Suits Suite last show, well, that is between you two.” Linda taps her head knowingly. “I am too smart to get mixed up in that story, and they say women can’t get along, geez.”

“I also heard the Hired Killers out here mentioning how Olympia was officially entered in the upcoming No Man’s Land tourney. Well, you can add another name to the list. Your’s truly is officially throwing her hat in the ring. Last year I was Lucky enough to win the whole thing, and I am going for Back to Back wins baby!” Linda pumps her fist in the air with that and the crowd cheer her on. “Freya, von Krauss! See you two later!”

Linger, Cranberries hits and Lucky Linda slaps the fans hands on her way back up the ramp way.

[SWAT Team]

Backstage.

Well, not really.

More like outside.

To be more specific, the staff entrance near the loading dock. The picture, normally slick and all ultra high-def, 4K across the board, is strangely grainy. It’s not quite security footage, but the color isn’t all there and it’s just not that sharp.

The sound is in-and-out too.

A smartly dressed man whose face you can’t quite make out strides up to the door where he’s greeted by a much smaller man with a clipboard. The following conversation has probably been edited. At the very least it’s been muffled in spots.

“Hey!” The smaller man exclaims. “Aren’t you (muffled)?”

The smartly dressed man nods. “Yup.”

“What’re you doing here in Philly?”

“Oh, I had a little down time, figured I’d drop in on my ol’ pal Mad Dog.”

Clipboard makes a face, his eyebrows go all scrunchy.

“You mean Mr. Soutter?”

The smartly dressed man nods again.

“That’s right, Paulie the Suit, we go way back.”

A moment passes as Clipboard checks his clipboard. He scans all of maybe three pages before looking back at the smartly dressed man with a face full of uncertainty.

“I’m sorry Mr. (muffled), but you’re not on the list.”

“A sphincter says what?”

“Um… what?”

“Check the list again, kid. I’m on it.”

Clipboard checks, nothing has changed. Before he can say as much the smartly dressed man holds up a finger before reaching into his breast pocket to produce a smartphone. A couple of taps and slides later and he’s on the line with somebody.

“Hey! Paulie! It’s been a long time! Yeah, yeah, Anzac a couple of years ago, that’s right! Yeah listen, I know you’re busy… yeah… yeah… For sure, but listen, I’m here. In Philly. At the back door. Yeah… the kid says I’m not on the list. Uh-huh… Yeah, just a sec.”

The smartly dressed man holds the phone out for Clipboard.

“It’s for you.”

Pensively, the kid takes the phone. He holds it to his ear for a split-second before the voice of Paul Soutter comes bellowing out from the tiny speaker like a gust of wind from a typhoon. This goes on for some time before the kid swallows the lump in his throat and gives a meek answer.

“Yessir, of course sir.”

Clipboard hands the phone back.

“Everything kosher?” The smartly dressed man asks.

“Yes sir,” the kid starts. “Mr. Soutter says to tell you that I’m sorry for any inconvenience, and to show you into his office directly.”

Clipboard opens the door behind him, allowing the smartly dressed man entrance into the 2300 Arena, and then begins leading him on down the hallway.

“You’re a good boy, Charlie Brown.”

“Anything you say Mr. (muffled). Right this way.”

From there the footage gives way to a static blast before cutting back to ringside or wherever else these things tend to cut to.

[edwarddubin0604]

("Mary Magdalen" by Guns N' Roses plays and the ringsiders roar as Dragonatrix comes to ringside and enters the ring with a cordless mic. She smiles as she looks around the ringside area.)

Dragonatrix: "Are you enjoying the action so far!"

(The ringsiders roar louder.)

Dragonatrix: "That's true Philly spirit from the sports world's most loyal sports fans compared to the generic fans in other cities. However, I'm out here because there's this little issue of someone named Armand von Krauss trying to....ahem.....acquire......"

(She makes a quote sign dubiously.)

Dragonatrix: "Now from what I hear he's been using the tactics that Joanne Canelli or some foolish idiot would employ just to steal control of a wrestling promotion. At least Joe Pesci was smarter when he bought the majority of SWAT's stock."

(The ringsiders reaction is mixed.)

Dragonstrix: "Sorry for bringing up bad memories since Psychotic Goth is still steamed over what happened here three years ago. However, I digress and shall return to what I was saying. It seems that Armand von Krauss has been pursuing stock owned by Team Fairtex which is a ten percent stake and were on the verge of selling it when Psychotic Goth stole that and the money."

(She shakes her head ruefully.)

Dragonatrix: "Now from what I was told he gave it to an attorney for safe keeping......"

(The ringsiders boo as Gabriel Tuck comes out and enters the ring and gets in her face.)

Dragonatrix: "You either have more guts or your brains are missing from that empty skull of yours."

Gabriel Tuck: "I have a message for you Draggy......"

Dragonatrix: "That's Dragonatrix to you Tuck and you'll show me respect. Now what's this message that you claim to have."

Gabriel Tuck: "I was sent to collect that ten percent stock for Armand von Krauss."

Dragonatrix: "Really. Like I said the lawyer already sold Team Fairtex's stock to someone already and this individual paid twenty times the value so they made out quite well."

(The crowd reacts as Team Fairtex comes to the ring upset.)

Phantam Fairtex: "Look Dragonatrix that stock was not meant to be sold by an unauthorized party nor was it a valid purchase because Psychotic Goth stole it."

Dragonatrix: "I guess you saw what this hired muscle head did to that poor kid when he refused. Believe me Tuck I'm not one to be messed with and I'm more connected with say.....More well connected and financially connected people. Believe me these individuals wouldn't like that and neither would the purchaser of the stock."

(Gabriel Tuck pulls out his gun and Dragonatrix kicks him low and grabs the gun before he can point it at her. She grabs the gun and is about to break his arm when a voice interrupts and the tron shows what looks like a luxurious office and a large comfortable chair.)

Voice: "Now Dragonatrix let's not hurt this man since he has to deliver a message."

(The chair swivels around and the ringsider roar and chant CEO Angela's name.)

CEO Angela: "You know Mr. Tuck it seems to me that you and this Armand von Krauss have been taking certain liberties while acquiring this promotions stock. There's only a few little problems Mr. Tuck."

Gabriel Tucker: "I could care less about your problems."

(CEO Angela glares lasers at him.)

CEO Angela: "I said you better show respect or you'll not just get shot in the foot but also in both knee caps. Now as I was saying Gabriel there's the matter of that $25 million dollars that I am owed for the failed running of Joe Pesci's con job XWCW. I know that Armand doesn't even have a small bucket's worth of cash to even pay me that with the interest."

(Gabriel's face grows red.)

CEO Angela: "If you even interrupt me or make a move Dragonatrix will make it both feet and both knee caps and you'll crawl to the medical people. Is that understood."

(Gabriel tries to control himself.)

CEO Angela: "Good. Now the other problem is your disrespecting those who had the stock. Those Armand stole the stock from are friends of mine and you both shall pay for it. So how would you like it to be treated like them. Oh and the kid you shot was employed by me. So if I have to pay his and any of the stock holder's bills. I'll get it out of your ass personally and it won't be a pleasant experience unless you convince Armand to pay the bills of very victim."

She gets up and walks from behind her desk and leans on her table arms crossed and still glaring.)

CEO Angela: "Oh and tell Armand and I know he's listening seeing he seems to know everything. I own three-quarters which is seventy-five percent including Team Fairtex's stock meaning I own majority ownership of SWAT. That's right he doesn't own SWAT. I own SWAT and until things get settled down if they get settled down. I'll keep all stock acquired in earnest trust until this mess is all cleared up. That's all for now and if anymore stock holders are harmed or threatened in anyway Gabriel....."

(CEO Angela leans towards the camera.)

CEO Angela: "I'll authorize Dragonatrix to break both your legs and you'll feel how it's like to feel the pain of the victims."

(The tron goes black and Dragonatrix bangs her fists in anticipation and Gabriel wisely leaves and she looks at Team Fairtex who leaves followed by Dragonatrix before the scene slowly fades to black.)

[SWAT Team]

(The show returns from commercials for the Eagles game with the NY Giants, Philadelphia Visitors Bureau with various well known SWAT Superstars as well as SWAT Streaming Services reality TV series starring Timeless Alex Turner and Roxylishus along with SWAT Magazine before fading to ringside where ringsiders are holding signs saying "TJ the DJ!," "Frostbite's a Bastard!," "Dancing Fool TJ Souza!," "Cold Hearted Bastard!," "Disco Duck Zousa!" and "Frosty the KGB Ass Kisser!" before fading to the broadcast table where Jeremy Tucker and Andrew Fulton are wearing Eagles face masks and headsets.)

Jeremy Tucker: "Welcome back to Battleground #33: Battle lines and that's exactly what's happening here in SWAT."

Andrew Fulton: "More like fault lines considering these idiots in the ringside were trying to stuff ballot boxes and throwing votes away."

Jeremy Tucker: "Those were voting instructions people sent in with their ballots."

Andrew Fulton: "So you claim."

Jeremy Tucker: " So far we saw Psychotic Goth terrorize HAHA! and HEHE! as well as Vampira biting them turning them into vampires and what looked like demons dragging them away to a dumpster."

Andrew Fulton: "That's Devil's Advocate in Psychotic Goth speak to you Jerry. Armand's going to make Psychotic Goth pay one way or the other."

Jeremy Tucker: "I have to agree since Armand's a very dangerous man to cross though Psychotic Goth is just plain dangerous as well."

Andrew Fulton: "Well both seem to be trying to do what Frostbite's been trying to do to SWAT and burn the place down."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well getting to this match TJ Zousa's been wanting to wrestle the big boys and now Frostbite's as big as they come in SWAT."

Andrew Fulton: "All Frostbite has to do is blow on Zousa and he'll fall down or even better say boo and he'll faint and he'll get an easy cover for the pinfall."

Jeremy Tucker: "Why not show Zousa some respect."

Andrew Fulton: "When he actually wins a match."

Jeremy Tucker: "Right now let's go to the ring for the introductions."

Frank Salazar: "This match is scheduled for ONE fall. Introducing first from New York, City. He comes in at 6ft. and weighs in at 200lbs. He is one half of The O-Z!! Please welcome TJ Zousa."

("Disco Duck" plays and TJ Zousa dances to ringside as the ringsiders dance along with him as they cheer him.)

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from Boulder, Co, He comes in at 6ft. and weighs in at 225lbs. He is The Cold Hearted Bastard and a member of The KGB. Please welcome Frostbite."

("Seek and Destroy" by Metallica plays as we see lotus's play in on the tron. A few seconds later days turn into night as the image fades and another of a huge of a huge nuclear explosion as you see tanks firing in the air and right after that image we see soldiers in unison a nd that image fades out and another image of a nuclear explosion as you see nothing but ashes and dust of a city. The lights in the arena grow dark as it grows dark a blue light is seen in the show of the steps as an individual are seen up there wearing a KGB T-shirt with his head down. He slowly raises his head we see the intensity in the blue eyes of Frostbite. He takes a walk down the steps as ringsiders boo him but some reach out and touch as they touch his hand and broad shoulders cheering him. Frostbite enters the ring and removes his KGB T-shirt.)

Jeremy Tucker: "The bell rings and this match is underway. TJ Zousa runs at Frostbite and delivers lefts and rights and smashes Frostbite's head into the turnbuckle. He delivers a series of shoulderblocks to his mid-section."

Andrew Fulton: "That idiots going after an angry Frostbite after he learned he's being screwed out of a title shot. Hell why not just lay down and let Frostbite cover him for the pin. Now he's going to be suffering big time. Zousa whips Frostbite into the ropes and he runs through TJ Zousa."

Jeremy Tucker: "Frostbite opens up a can of whoop ass and he's being relentless."

Andrew Fulton: "Frostbite's still pissed off about being screwed out of a championship match like I said before Now this dancing dead man's going to pay for that and he's going to throw this piece of trash out like he's nothing."

Jeremy Tucker: "Frostbite whips Zousa into the corner and clotheslines him. He follows with another series of violent clotheslines before whipping him into the opposite corner and clotheslines him again. TJ slumps down into the corner like a rag doll."

Andrew Fulton: "Oh what a dancing fool he is. Frostbite feeds him a second helping of a can of whoop ass. Come on Frostbite finish that piece of trash and collect your paycheck. Come on show Zoey how it's really done in SWAT."

Jeremy Tucker: "TJ's pleading with both the referee and Frostbite that he's had enough but Frostbite's having none of it and that expression on his face is nothing short of cruel and sadistic. He whips Zousa into the ropes and spinebusters him with authority before dropping down and talks to him. He makes the cover.....One....Two....No! Frostbite pulls him up by the hair."

Andrew Fulton: "Come on Frostbite's just showing Zoey the proper way of keeping the match going if anyone dares screwing him out of a title shot. Frostbite sets up Zousa and delivers a stunner before making the cover.....One.....Two.....Three."

Frank Salazar: "Your winner at 4muns. 30seconds. Frostbite."

Jeremy Tucker: "Frostbite wins in easy fashion over an overmatched TJ Zousa."

Andrew Fulton: "Overmatched. He was the literal lamb to the slaughter and was squashed easily by a raging Frostbite. He's motioning that he wants a championship match and he wants it now."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well whoever gets control of SWAT will decide that. Right now we have to cut to commercials but we'll be back with more entertaining SWAT action."

(They fade to commercials.)

[SWAT Team]

[Rip it Up by 28 Days hits as we switch back to the ring, there is a couch and a coffee table and the set of Suits Suite is in the ring. Mad Dog Paul Soutter makes his way down to the ring, high fiving the fans, no selling social distancing.]

[On the SWAT tron we see doctored footage of Tom Cruise jumping up and down on the couch imposed in the ring. Then more doctored footage showing Rick James/ Dave Shappelle on his back stamping his feet on the couch. FUCK_ YO_ COUCH. Now a shot of Heidi giving Suit a lap dance on the couch on the SWAT tron.]

Soutter : WELCOME TO SUITS SUITE!!!

Tonight, I step in this ring against my former bodyguard slash best friend. The Compton Colossal BRUNO! Bruno, we have seen and done it all, and you stood by me thru the lot, then, a couple of threats from a few turkeys, and you just ‘give up’ and do what they want? To protect ME?

Let me break it down for you, Dawg. If you are not with me, you are against me! Reasons be damned. When you give full loyalty like myself, you must demand the same in kind. My friend’s enemies are MY enemies! Fuck with them, you fuck with me! That’s how I roll!

I will die on my feet, defiant and fighting to the end, rather than live on my knees!

Speaking of living on their knees, which brings me to tonight’s guest. He has jumped in with these jackals in the KGB! He is the SWAT Renegade Champion. He is THE Big Deal! Eddie D! Eddie, come on down!

Cave by Muse blares and Eddie D walks out with a black and white montage video playing on the screens of him weight training and hitting his favourite moves on people, flashing up in negative to the beat of the music.

Eddie ignores the fans, smiles at Paul on the approach to the couch, gets to the couch and raises his hands for applause but the crowd erupt in a chorus of boos and jeers. He shakes Paul’s hand heartily in greeting.

Soutter : Eddie. Welcome to the Suite. Please. Take a seat.

Eddie : Thanks Suits. I don’t feel 100% welcome after that intro though. For a guy that lived in a stable for years, in the stable I just joined, seems a little harsh to talk about living knelling? I know you have history with Armand but…

Soutter : Easy big man. That was just a throwaway line. I know you are legit. The world knows you are legit. Tell us please, why the KGB?

Eddie : Well it seems everyone wanted me in their corner, but KGB seemed a good fit.

Soutter : I don’t see it. How do you come to that conclusion?

Eddie : I came from a stable in the EIWF with a history of not towing the line and dominating everything. When I left, I got a taste for singles wrestling and going down my own road. Initially The Society saw the damage I can do and Syberus said everything to get me to throw my lot in with them, but the timing was wrong. Trent Jones and I kinda fell into the same way of thinking at the right moment and staged a bit of a coup, but even with the Graveyard Ryders it was never a stable and never meant to be one. Everyone wants me on their side because no one really wants to face me; which makes me naturally sceptical about offers to join up with anyone at all. Even Keith Williams came calling when he arrived with his Remnants war band…

Soutter : I think that’s Revenants…

Eddie : If you say so. Though I think remnants is probably more fitting.

The KGB have that dominant, kill the competition, devil-take-the-fan-base kinda mind-set and I can dig that. As you said about enemies and friends earlier, the KGB and I had never come to blows and we shared enemies. Seemed logical to me….

Soutter : We’ll agree to disagree on your choice for the time being… We saw at End of Days you almost captured the X Crown, what happened?

Eddie : Dylan Black happened. The guy’s a jerk. I just wish his father had been one too, and then maybe Dylan wouldn’t be here. It was still great to be in such a high profile match-up; great for the merchandise sales if nothing else. A lot of people walked away from that thing knowing that they’d been in a fight and they will be ice packing heads and sore limbs even now because of the beatings I dished out in that cage. It brings a smile just thinking on it.

Soutter : Do you harbour any ambition to go for it again? In this world, sometimes you have to show everyone what you can do before you win, I would think next time around you got it in the bag.

Eddie : What did Gabiel tell me to say again? Oh yeah… “I will naturally support whoever the KGB puts forward as our prospective X-Crown champion and naturally I'll be working hard in each match to put myself in contention for that.”

Soutter : Hey this is the SUITS SUITE. We don’t deal in soundbites and the party line bullshit here big guy. What do you really think?

Eddie : What I really think…

If you can’t beat ‘em for the win, make sure they remember the cuts and bruises and that it wasn’t a piece of cake. When you face ‘em next time, deep down they’ll remember… then you’ve already got ‘em on the back foot. Not got the title in the bag maybe Suits, but definitely got some of them punks mentally on the back foot if I get a sniff at the X-Crown again.

I think that the Hard Men, Hard Talk pilot guys were trying to put me off my prep for the match, but all they did was put me over with the crowd more. I walked out of that event with more glory than shame, and impressed in front of a rival Fed’s crowd and locker room, which should only count well for me down the line.

Soutter : The Network is abuzz with your efforts there, I can tell you that …

Eddie : The Network? I love the hype train, but the internet and the Network news bloggers out there are always a step behind and are as fickle as fuck. Thankfully when I arrived the SWAT office didn’t treat me like a burnt out bum or green assed rookie just because I came from the competition, but in reality… As soon as they put me in a ring… The crowd would have dictated the booking anyway. The fans want to see Eddie in the main event. Not because I spent hundreds of dollars on a website called MainEventEddie.com, but because love me or hate me… they want to see Eddie win or get beat up at the top of the card. Network’s abuzz huh? Network is running on dial-up if they’re only saying now what we’ve all known for months.

Soutter : Agreed there. Honestly, I like you man. You bring it and bring it hard. Can’t say the same for your new friends though in the KGB.

Eddie : I respect you and appreciate this spot on the couch, but don’t get me wrong. Even if I bothered to look up your full history in SWAT, which I won’t… even if I thought your beef with the KGB was fair, which I doubt… I would still need to set my loyalties with my new stablemates.

If for you the battle lines are drawn around “the enemy of your enemy is your friend”, then right now… I’m just here under a flag of truce between battles. Sitting here as kindred spirits, but ultimately opposing warriors, just shooting the breeze. Happy in each other’s company, with a business like attitude to the inevitable clash of steel we’ll probably have to go through some day.

Soutter : Touché. You paint a romantic scene… but enemies it is. Tonight, you face Keith Williams, he is new here to SWAT but he is no slouch in this ring, this match up could well steal the show tonight.

Eddie : If I can’t be top of the bill I’ll fight like I am anyway. We’ll get that illusive pop of the night, I guarantee it. No half measures. If he wants this belt it will cost him in blood, sweat and a hefty withdrawal from his luck reserves too. In fact a win tonight would probably bankrupt those reserves.

“Revenants” he’s calling his posse right? He ain’t risen from the dead. He ain’t no rising Phoenix from the flames. He ain’t no Messiah. He ain’t no Leonardo DiCaprio and he never got savaged by no bear in the wilderness. This ain’t Hollywood or the parish pulpit. This is SWAT. This is my backyard. Tonight’s gonna be special. You’d better believe it. BRING… IT …ON!

Soutter : What after that? What is next on the cards for THE Big Deal?

Before Eddie can reply, Jonnie Valentine slides into the ring, no music. No fanfare, he is wearing his street clothes after his match earlier in the night, and he approaches Suit, walking right past Eddie oblivious to him.

Valentine : Paul, we need to talk. What is all this about management and heat with me?

Soutter : John. I am kind of in the middle of something here ….

Valentine : What, him? I am sure Eddie will make up for his loss of airtime and go interfere in a match later tonight. I need some answers. What is going on around here? Jerking the curtain opening the show?

Soutter : Mate, I don’t know. Go have a chat with Armand, he is sitting in Zoran’s office trying to buy up the company thinking he runs the show.

Valentine : We have always been straight with one another, I ….

WHAM! Eddie clobbers Valentine with a huge double Axe Handle from behind.

Jeremy Tucker : Eddie just pearl harbored Jonnie!

Andrew Fulton : Come on Jerry! It’s the KGB and The Society in the same ring. What did you think was gonna happen? Valentine just came out here and completely snubbed Eddie! Trying to encroach on HIS time!

Jeremy Tucker : Eddie is going to town on Jonnie, he locks him in a bear hug and then charges into the turnbuckle, avalanching him. He then tips over the couch and grabs the coffee table and cracks it over Valentines head. Eddie has snapped!

Andrew Fulton : Rightly so also! Who does Jonnie think he is to come out here and try and take over…

Jeremy Tucker : Suit is trying to talk Eddie down, but he is a wild man and here come the security, at least a dozen of them swarming the ring and pulling Eddie off of Jonnie. Jonnie gets a second wind from the little reprieve and he launches at Eddie, the crowd is going berserk!

Andrew Fulton : Get him Eddie!

Jeremy Tucker : More security swarm the ring and they are a literal wall now between both men. Eddie rolls out of the ring, hot, and storms up the ramp way. Half way up the aisle Eddie turns back as Security protest. Eddie and Suit make eye contact and Eddie nods.

Andrew Fulton : Is that some kind of apology for wrecking the segment? You don’t have to apologize for anything Big Deal…

Jeremy Tucker : Eddie makes eye contact with Jonnie and flips him the bird and thinks about heading back to the ring… Valentine is goading to try it… but security tell him to keep walking and Eddie kicks the railings in a rage and continues up the ramp. Wowee. He is fuming, and Jonnie is angry in the ring also, holding his hands out and yelling at Paul who is holding his hands up saying, “you came out here”. We got to go to a break; we will be right back ….