Dominicus and the Ebony Stones 2: Obsidian
Jan 15, 2021 21:33:03 GMT -5
The Nihilists, edwarddubin0604, and 5 more like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Jan 15, 2021 21:33:03 GMT -5
*The camera opens up outside of some nondescript white building in what appears to be a relatively suburban if not rural area. Lord Dominicus stands in the foreground wearing the NPW NA Cruiserweight Championship (or NPWNACC if you really like acronyms).*
LD: So they call you the “dropkick king” right? Maybe the better name would be “Disappointment King” or “Flash-in-the-Pan King.” Because here’s the thing, Adrien Cochrane; you might be talented and you might have a lot of fancy titles or accolades attached to your name. Maybe enough to somewhat warrant the fanfare that you’ve gotten so far. Maybe.
*He scratches his head.*
LD: But honestly, I don’t see it. Do you know what I do see? I see a guy who couldn’t let his protégé have his moment out of your shadow in a Network of actually worthwhile companies so you had to bumble over here to see all the action and maybe reclaim some spotlight. You know what else I see?
*For the sake of the –shudder- fans, LD assumes his thinking pose for a moment.*
LD: What I see is a guy who decided to see what the other companies had to offer and acted like he had an interest in several promotions while backdoor handshaking with the owner of FWA. Meanwhile he gets the red carpet treatment everywhere he goes. And you know what I saw?
*He looks down at his title then back at the camera.*
LD: I saw a guy who gets all the attention from myself, the backstage interviewers, and for some reason Eric “I’m Too Fat for the Real Championship so I Cried to Gus to Make me a New One” Dane- and yet couldn’t pull the “trigger” on Chris Cavanaugh. Meanwhile? Meanwhile I was grinding out two days in a row- battling to a time limit draw with the Tag champion and doing what you couldn’t do and getting a leg up on everyone by pinning John’s brother. While you were getting the spotlight I actually did my job, meanwhile you proved to be sort of a letdown. Not surprising, you’re probably half-hearting it while Gus gives you all the attention he can hoping to out gland-hand you from his Canadian company rival.
*He points at the camera.*
LD: Well let me tell you something, you’re not getting any glad-hand jobs from me! But unlike the rest of the PATHETIC SERFS that make up this company, I’m not gonna waste any more words on you- because I actually have work to do.
*Dominicus reaches into his tights and pulls out…..nylons? He pulls them over his head in order for them to garble his facial features and make it impossible to tell who he is. Except that….y’know, he’s wearing a head-encompassing mask that isn’t distorted at all and makes it pretty easy to identify him. There’s a run in the nylons. Anyway, we fade out.*
*AND FADE BACK IN AS A DOOR IS KICKED OPEN! A totally unidentifi-ok it’s Lord Dominicus-able man runs into the office of what appears to be a shocked scientist and shoves a photograph in his face.*
LD: WHERE IS THIS!?
*The scientist is shaking as he looks at the picture*
Scientist: I’m just a geologist! I don’t even play the lottery! Did my ex hire you?
LD: WHERE IS THIS!? TELL ME NOW!
Scientist: I don’t know who that is!
*Julio Dinero? (CLICK HERE ANSWER!)*
LD: Wait, really?
*He pulls back the picture and puts his hands on his sides.*
LD: In literally every other promo I’ve seen on the Network, everyone knows all about pro wrestling and is often a fan.
Scientist: Pro wrestling? Isn’t that fake?
LD: It sounds like you’ve been watching Alex Turner promos
Scientist: Who?
LD: Nobody important.
*He looks directly at the camera*
LD: Anyway, I was using the picture because I thought it’d be easier to identify obsidian that way- that’s who this is.
*He points to the headshot of former XHF performer, Obsidian*
Scientist: Uh….Obsidian is a mineral.
LD: Yeah, I know that NOW- after way too many nachos.
Scientist: So…Mr. uh…Lord Dominicus? Wha-
*Our hero(?) is shocked, as he’s very well disguised with the nylon on his head.*
LD: HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME!? WHAT ELSE DO YOU KNOW!?
Scientist: It’s uh… on your giant novelty belt buckle.
*They both look at the NPWNACC*
LD: BLAST MY WINNING WAYS!
Scientist: And your vanity?
LD: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS OR I WILL BREAK YOU AND UH….uh…..REALLY MESS UP YOUR DESK!
*Lord Dominicus reaches over and shuffles some of the scientist’s papers around. Then he puts a foot up on the scientist’s chair to get him back in the right, fearful, state of mind.*
LD: NOW COUGH UP THE OBSIDIAN OR I WILL BREAK YOU!
*The man of science under duress puts his hands up.*
Scientist: Whoa whoa, ok, what do you want? A sample of obsidian? I can get you obsidian
LD: I WANT OBSIDIAN NOW!
Scientist: Can I ask wha-
LD: GIVE ME OBSIDIAN NOW!
*He ruffles more of the scientist’s papers aggressively.*
Scientist: How big of a sample?
LD: The biggest one you have!
Scientist: Alright, I was saving this for a special occasion but whatever, it is just an igneous- you don’t even need to raise your voice about it.
*The geologist begins to dig through a drawer in his desk that seems to be filled with rocks.*
LD: If you must know, I’m assembling a collection of such stones to form a gauntlet of ULTIMATE EVIL in order to restore my DARKNESS to its fullest.
*The scientist turns back to Dominicus with a shiny black rock about the size of a baseball.*
Scientist: That sounds incredibly stupid- is this big enough?
LD: That’s too big. Also your face is incredibly stupid.
Scientist: I mean the only other one I’ve got is pretty tiny….
*He reaches into his top desk drawer, producing a tiny almost spherical black mineral about the size of a pea- Lord Dominicus immediately seizes it from him.*
LD: YES! I CAN FEEL ITS DARK ENERGIES FLOWING THROUGH ME ALREADY!
Scientist: Again, it’s just rock- and that’s coming from me
LD: SILENCE YOU WORTHLESS PEON; YOUR ROLE IN THIS IS FINISHED!
*Lord Dominicus turns to the camera, and then whips the nylons off to reveal…well you already know it’s LD so, y’know.*
LD: IT WAS ME ADRIEN, IT WAS ME ALL ALONG! And now you pitiful fool you’re more screwed than you were twenty minutes ago. SOON ALL SHALL COWER AT THE NAME DOMINICUS….AGAIN!
*He laughs heartily while holding up and gesturing at the minuscule stone as the camera fades to black*
LD: So they call you the “dropkick king” right? Maybe the better name would be “Disappointment King” or “Flash-in-the-Pan King.” Because here’s the thing, Adrien Cochrane; you might be talented and you might have a lot of fancy titles or accolades attached to your name. Maybe enough to somewhat warrant the fanfare that you’ve gotten so far. Maybe.
*He scratches his head.*
LD: But honestly, I don’t see it. Do you know what I do see? I see a guy who couldn’t let his protégé have his moment out of your shadow in a Network of actually worthwhile companies so you had to bumble over here to see all the action and maybe reclaim some spotlight. You know what else I see?
*For the sake of the –shudder- fans, LD assumes his thinking pose for a moment.*
LD: What I see is a guy who decided to see what the other companies had to offer and acted like he had an interest in several promotions while backdoor handshaking with the owner of FWA. Meanwhile he gets the red carpet treatment everywhere he goes. And you know what I saw?
*He looks down at his title then back at the camera.*
LD: I saw a guy who gets all the attention from myself, the backstage interviewers, and for some reason Eric “I’m Too Fat for the Real Championship so I Cried to Gus to Make me a New One” Dane- and yet couldn’t pull the “trigger” on Chris Cavanaugh. Meanwhile? Meanwhile I was grinding out two days in a row- battling to a time limit draw with the Tag champion and doing what you couldn’t do and getting a leg up on everyone by pinning John’s brother. While you were getting the spotlight I actually did my job, meanwhile you proved to be sort of a letdown. Not surprising, you’re probably half-hearting it while Gus gives you all the attention he can hoping to out gland-hand you from his Canadian company rival.
*He points at the camera.*
LD: Well let me tell you something, you’re not getting any glad-hand jobs from me! But unlike the rest of the PATHETIC SERFS that make up this company, I’m not gonna waste any more words on you- because I actually have work to do.
*Dominicus reaches into his tights and pulls out…..nylons? He pulls them over his head in order for them to garble his facial features and make it impossible to tell who he is. Except that….y’know, he’s wearing a head-encompassing mask that isn’t distorted at all and makes it pretty easy to identify him. There’s a run in the nylons. Anyway, we fade out.*
*AND FADE BACK IN AS A DOOR IS KICKED OPEN! A totally unidentifi-ok it’s Lord Dominicus-able man runs into the office of what appears to be a shocked scientist and shoves a photograph in his face.*
LD: WHERE IS THIS!?
*The scientist is shaking as he looks at the picture*
Scientist: I’m just a geologist! I don’t even play the lottery! Did my ex hire you?
LD: WHERE IS THIS!? TELL ME NOW!
Scientist: I don’t know who that is!
*Julio Dinero? (CLICK HERE ANSWER!)*
LD: Wait, really?
*He pulls back the picture and puts his hands on his sides.*
LD: In literally every other promo I’ve seen on the Network, everyone knows all about pro wrestling and is often a fan.
Scientist: Pro wrestling? Isn’t that fake?
LD: It sounds like you’ve been watching Alex Turner promos
Scientist: Who?
LD: Nobody important.
*He looks directly at the camera*
LD: Anyway, I was using the picture because I thought it’d be easier to identify obsidian that way- that’s who this is.
*He points to the headshot of former XHF performer, Obsidian*
Scientist: Uh….Obsidian is a mineral.
LD: Yeah, I know that NOW- after way too many nachos.
Scientist: So…Mr. uh…Lord Dominicus? Wha-
*Our hero(?) is shocked, as he’s very well disguised with the nylon on his head.*
LD: HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME!? WHAT ELSE DO YOU KNOW!?
Scientist: It’s uh… on your giant novelty belt buckle.
*They both look at the NPWNACC*
LD: BLAST MY WINNING WAYS!
Scientist: And your vanity?
LD: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS OR I WILL BREAK YOU AND UH….uh…..REALLY MESS UP YOUR DESK!
*Lord Dominicus reaches over and shuffles some of the scientist’s papers around. Then he puts a foot up on the scientist’s chair to get him back in the right, fearful, state of mind.*
LD: NOW COUGH UP THE OBSIDIAN OR I WILL BREAK YOU!
*The man of science under duress puts his hands up.*
Scientist: Whoa whoa, ok, what do you want? A sample of obsidian? I can get you obsidian
LD: I WANT OBSIDIAN NOW!
Scientist: Can I ask wha-
LD: GIVE ME OBSIDIAN NOW!
*He ruffles more of the scientist’s papers aggressively.*
Scientist: How big of a sample?
LD: The biggest one you have!
Scientist: Alright, I was saving this for a special occasion but whatever, it is just an igneous- you don’t even need to raise your voice about it.
*The geologist begins to dig through a drawer in his desk that seems to be filled with rocks.*
LD: If you must know, I’m assembling a collection of such stones to form a gauntlet of ULTIMATE EVIL in order to restore my DARKNESS to its fullest.
*The scientist turns back to Dominicus with a shiny black rock about the size of a baseball.*
Scientist: That sounds incredibly stupid- is this big enough?
LD: That’s too big. Also your face is incredibly stupid.
Scientist: I mean the only other one I’ve got is pretty tiny….
*He reaches into his top desk drawer, producing a tiny almost spherical black mineral about the size of a pea- Lord Dominicus immediately seizes it from him.*
LD: YES! I CAN FEEL ITS DARK ENERGIES FLOWING THROUGH ME ALREADY!
Scientist: Again, it’s just rock- and that’s coming from me
LD: SILENCE YOU WORTHLESS PEON; YOUR ROLE IN THIS IS FINISHED!
*Lord Dominicus turns to the camera, and then whips the nylons off to reveal…well you already know it’s LD so, y’know.*
LD: IT WAS ME ADRIEN, IT WAS ME ALL ALONG! And now you pitiful fool you’re more screwed than you were twenty minutes ago. SOON ALL SHALL COWER AT THE NAME DOMINICUS….AGAIN!
*He laughs heartily while holding up and gesturing at the minuscule stone as the camera fades to black*
