Post CWC Day 2 Press Conference
Jan 17, 2021 21:47:14 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Oh-Oh, and 1 more like this
Post by John Cavanagh on Jan 17, 2021 21:47:14 GMT -5
The hum of reporters' voices, muffled by their ever present masks, could be heard while the spatially distanced seating allowed for what many feel is a safe gathering of the local wrestling press. The journalists in attendance had just finished listening to another member of the Northern Pro Wrestling roster who had answered their questions. The next man up, however, wasn't a member of the Northern Pro Wrestling roster--instead he was a representative of an independent promotion based out of Toronto and the Great Lakes area. The man walked out of the curtain with a white tank top that presented his litany of tattoos, many of which represented his Irish heritage that he wore ever so proudly on his skin for all to see, and a black pair of track pants. The man smiled, not an inviting display of his pearly whites rather a chauvinistic, arrogant, douche baggish grin that most people would love to wipe off of his face--problem was, the majority of people either couldn't or didn't have the testicular fortitude to make it happen. Chris "Trigger" Cavanagh sat down on a hard plastic seat reminiscent of a school room--not something you want to sit down on after having a long, hard fought match...especially when that match ended in a lost. Trigger cracked his gum in the side of his teeth, he sucked his teeth and surveyed the half dozen or so reporters in attendance. Trigger raised his right eyebrow and cleared his throat.
So, uh, yeah...which one of you people gonna ask me a question?
The reporters turned to each other unsure of how to play this card, most people picked who was going to ask them questions but this out of towner was opening the forum to the journalists in attendance. A slender man rose his hand. Trigger looked down at him, pondered for a moment and then spoke.
No, not you poindexter--I don't know if I'm going to even let you ask me a question. Not when we've got Miss Sugar Tits sitting over here to the left.
A young brunette, with a well-endowed upper half as Trigger had so chivalrously mentioned, looked embarrassed and offended by the look in her eyes and the red that had begun to flood her face. The young woman shouted back.
I'm not here to ask questions, I just take pictures.
Trigger laughed and cracked his gum in between his teeth once more.
Maybe you should do yourself a favor and took a few photos of yourself and drop them by my hotel room before I leave tonight--maybe when I come back for the third day of this Cruiserweight Cup I can make you a happy woman.
Trigger blew the girl a kiss, the woman walked out of the conference room too embarrassed to continue taking photos.
Aw, poor little girl is a bit too sensitive. Oh well, not my problem, I'm still going to be able to go and provide for my family--put food on my table. Why is that? Because Trigger Cavanagh is getting himself some paydays once more. Tonight, I may not have gone to the pay window that I prefer but I was able to on night one so I can't say that this little trip to Northern Pro Wrestling hasn't been a total loss.
An overweight, bald headed man with an extremely visible bear belly began to speak in a raspy voice.
Why would you think your time here in Northern Pro Wrestling was a waste?
Shit, listen to that voice, I guess you're Lucky Strikes favorite customer, ain't that right my guy? I didn't say it was a waste I just said it wasn't a total loss. I mean lets face it, I'm here to get paid--that's the overall objective...the more I wrestle the more I get paid, the more wins I get in the ring the bigger the pay day is. Stands to reason that any match that isn't a win is a loss--since I won my match with Adrien Cochrane that means I've got a win so this trip isn't a total loss. Shit, some of you people around these parts ain't too bright I gotta spell everything out for youse...can't believe I barely graduated high school and you're a college educated journalist. Next genius want to ask a question?
A silver hair man in a red blazer and blue slacks stood to his feet, the man held a tape recorder up to his mouth as he asked his question.
Trigger, I've been following your career for a long time and I know some of the things that you've accomplished in the past but tell me, how does the talent here in Northern Pro got you feeling so far?
Got me feeling? What the fuck kind of a question is that? It's got me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, I feel butterflies fluttering around that must just be nerves though.
The silver haired man writes down the words of Trigger as they come from his mouth. Trigger watches and begins to shake his head.
You're kidding me right? You actually think that is how I'm feeling right now? Let me tell you exactly how I'm feeling old man--these guys ain't shit. That's right you heard it here first folks, Adrien Cochrane and Lord Dominicus ain't shit and let me tell you punks out here why. First and foremost Adrien Cochrane brought every ounce of strength, determination and pride that he had up against me when we were inside that ring and what was the outcome? It was me standing tall with my hand raised after his dumbass let me pin him with the "single most devastating move in the sport of professional wrestling"...a roll up! Let's face it guys, I'd love to sit there and hit him with a Coup de Grace or a Bloody Sunday and get a nice decisive three count to put that win in the books but as far as I'm concerned thats an honorable defeat. Why? Dropping a match in a roll up, or an inside cradle or any of those nonsense pins is pretty god damned pathetic. All I needed was a bit of leverage and this fool couldn't bare to get his shoulders off of the mat! I hate to bash myself but I ain't Lou Ferringo, I ain't a Hulk, I'm not the World's Strongest Man...step your god damned game up Adrien!
The reporter, who is visibly having difficulties keeping notes on the words spewing from Trigger's mouth finally finishes moving his pen before looking to Trigger.
And Lord Dominicus?
Trigger shakes his head.
Lord Dominicus? First off, pal, get yourself a cell phone and click the record button so you don't have to give yourself carpal tunnel from writing so god damned much and second of all, you only get one question, sit down!
The silver haired reporter looks frustrated with Trigger's response. He looks to a middle aged blonde woman and shrugs his shoulders. The woman stands to her feet and asks the next question.
Hello Trigger, I'm Stephanie Hertz and I'd like to piggy back off of my esteemed colleagues question and know what your feelings are on Lord Dominicus?
Your esteemed colleague huh?
Trigger looks at the woman and back at the silver haired man.
Oh, I get it--your esteemed colleague that you sneak away from your hubby with? Tell me, does your hubby know? Does his wife?! Oh fuck it, I guess I'm going to have to talk about it sooner or later might as well rip it off like a bandaid! Lord Dominicus, that sly, piece of shit was able to beat me using some shenanigans. Let's face it, from the start of that match--from the moment that bell rang--I had Lord Dominicus' number. I pummeled that wiseass from one side of the ring and back again. Honestly, I'm pretty sure I had that match won but that match wasn't about picking up a victory. I know I say winning is money and that is what we are all in this sport for but this time, this match, it wasn't about money--this time it was all about revenge. While Dominicus may have picked up the win and may be going into night three of the Cruiserweight Cup ahead in points in our pool that doesn't mean he's got this competition sewn up and won just yet. I decided to use my opportunity in the ring against Lord Dominicus to put a proper hurting on him and that's exactly what I did. I'm sure when Lord Dominicus wakes up tomorrow he will have a soar body and plenty of bruises to nurse before the third night of the Cruiserweight Cup. Now, go meet your esteemed colleague at the bar after this one--I'll be there too, as long as you two get me a few Jameson's on the rocks each I won't tell.
Trigger looks out over the crowd, waiting for the next question. The original man called "poindexter" gets to his feet to ask his question.
Mr. Cavanagh, sir, I was wondering how is your brother John going to react to you losing to Lord Dominicus, the same man who eliminated him in the Lethal Lottery Battle Royal?
Trigger takes a deep breath, visibly annoyed with poindexter's question.
How is Johnnie going to react? Johnnie wanted me to go out there and beat Adrien Cochrane--that happened. Johnnie wanted me to go out and put a hurting on that piece of shit Lord Dominicus, and guess what? That just so happened to have happened too! Now, if you people will excuse me I have a third match to prepare for before I move onto the next round in this tournament to win the 2021 NPW Cruiserweight Cup.
Trigger gets up from his seat and walks off of the stage as the scene cuts to static.
So, uh, yeah...which one of you people gonna ask me a question?
The reporters turned to each other unsure of how to play this card, most people picked who was going to ask them questions but this out of towner was opening the forum to the journalists in attendance. A slender man rose his hand. Trigger looked down at him, pondered for a moment and then spoke.
No, not you poindexter--I don't know if I'm going to even let you ask me a question. Not when we've got Miss Sugar Tits sitting over here to the left.
A young brunette, with a well-endowed upper half as Trigger had so chivalrously mentioned, looked embarrassed and offended by the look in her eyes and the red that had begun to flood her face. The young woman shouted back.
I'm not here to ask questions, I just take pictures.
Trigger laughed and cracked his gum in between his teeth once more.
Maybe you should do yourself a favor and took a few photos of yourself and drop them by my hotel room before I leave tonight--maybe when I come back for the third day of this Cruiserweight Cup I can make you a happy woman.
Trigger blew the girl a kiss, the woman walked out of the conference room too embarrassed to continue taking photos.
Aw, poor little girl is a bit too sensitive. Oh well, not my problem, I'm still going to be able to go and provide for my family--put food on my table. Why is that? Because Trigger Cavanagh is getting himself some paydays once more. Tonight, I may not have gone to the pay window that I prefer but I was able to on night one so I can't say that this little trip to Northern Pro Wrestling hasn't been a total loss.
An overweight, bald headed man with an extremely visible bear belly began to speak in a raspy voice.
Why would you think your time here in Northern Pro Wrestling was a waste?
Shit, listen to that voice, I guess you're Lucky Strikes favorite customer, ain't that right my guy? I didn't say it was a waste I just said it wasn't a total loss. I mean lets face it, I'm here to get paid--that's the overall objective...the more I wrestle the more I get paid, the more wins I get in the ring the bigger the pay day is. Stands to reason that any match that isn't a win is a loss--since I won my match with Adrien Cochrane that means I've got a win so this trip isn't a total loss. Shit, some of you people around these parts ain't too bright I gotta spell everything out for youse...can't believe I barely graduated high school and you're a college educated journalist. Next genius want to ask a question?
A silver hair man in a red blazer and blue slacks stood to his feet, the man held a tape recorder up to his mouth as he asked his question.
Trigger, I've been following your career for a long time and I know some of the things that you've accomplished in the past but tell me, how does the talent here in Northern Pro got you feeling so far?
Got me feeling? What the fuck kind of a question is that? It's got me feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, I feel butterflies fluttering around that must just be nerves though.
The silver haired man writes down the words of Trigger as they come from his mouth. Trigger watches and begins to shake his head.
You're kidding me right? You actually think that is how I'm feeling right now? Let me tell you exactly how I'm feeling old man--these guys ain't shit. That's right you heard it here first folks, Adrien Cochrane and Lord Dominicus ain't shit and let me tell you punks out here why. First and foremost Adrien Cochrane brought every ounce of strength, determination and pride that he had up against me when we were inside that ring and what was the outcome? It was me standing tall with my hand raised after his dumbass let me pin him with the "single most devastating move in the sport of professional wrestling"...a roll up! Let's face it guys, I'd love to sit there and hit him with a Coup de Grace or a Bloody Sunday and get a nice decisive three count to put that win in the books but as far as I'm concerned thats an honorable defeat. Why? Dropping a match in a roll up, or an inside cradle or any of those nonsense pins is pretty god damned pathetic. All I needed was a bit of leverage and this fool couldn't bare to get his shoulders off of the mat! I hate to bash myself but I ain't Lou Ferringo, I ain't a Hulk, I'm not the World's Strongest Man...step your god damned game up Adrien!
The reporter, who is visibly having difficulties keeping notes on the words spewing from Trigger's mouth finally finishes moving his pen before looking to Trigger.
And Lord Dominicus?
Trigger shakes his head.
Lord Dominicus? First off, pal, get yourself a cell phone and click the record button so you don't have to give yourself carpal tunnel from writing so god damned much and second of all, you only get one question, sit down!
The silver haired reporter looks frustrated with Trigger's response. He looks to a middle aged blonde woman and shrugs his shoulders. The woman stands to her feet and asks the next question.
Hello Trigger, I'm Stephanie Hertz and I'd like to piggy back off of my esteemed colleagues question and know what your feelings are on Lord Dominicus?
Your esteemed colleague huh?
Trigger looks at the woman and back at the silver haired man.
Oh, I get it--your esteemed colleague that you sneak away from your hubby with? Tell me, does your hubby know? Does his wife?! Oh fuck it, I guess I'm going to have to talk about it sooner or later might as well rip it off like a bandaid! Lord Dominicus, that sly, piece of shit was able to beat me using some shenanigans. Let's face it, from the start of that match--from the moment that bell rang--I had Lord Dominicus' number. I pummeled that wiseass from one side of the ring and back again. Honestly, I'm pretty sure I had that match won but that match wasn't about picking up a victory. I know I say winning is money and that is what we are all in this sport for but this time, this match, it wasn't about money--this time it was all about revenge. While Dominicus may have picked up the win and may be going into night three of the Cruiserweight Cup ahead in points in our pool that doesn't mean he's got this competition sewn up and won just yet. I decided to use my opportunity in the ring against Lord Dominicus to put a proper hurting on him and that's exactly what I did. I'm sure when Lord Dominicus wakes up tomorrow he will have a soar body and plenty of bruises to nurse before the third night of the Cruiserweight Cup. Now, go meet your esteemed colleague at the bar after this one--I'll be there too, as long as you two get me a few Jameson's on the rocks each I won't tell.
Trigger looks out over the crowd, waiting for the next question. The original man called "poindexter" gets to his feet to ask his question.
Mr. Cavanagh, sir, I was wondering how is your brother John going to react to you losing to Lord Dominicus, the same man who eliminated him in the Lethal Lottery Battle Royal?
Trigger takes a deep breath, visibly annoyed with poindexter's question.
How is Johnnie going to react? Johnnie wanted me to go out there and beat Adrien Cochrane--that happened. Johnnie wanted me to go out and put a hurting on that piece of shit Lord Dominicus, and guess what? That just so happened to have happened too! Now, if you people will excuse me I have a third match to prepare for before I move onto the next round in this tournament to win the 2021 NPW Cruiserweight Cup.
Trigger gets up from his seat and walks off of the stage as the scene cuts to static.
