Post by John Cavanagh on Jan 28, 2021 19:46:47 GMT -5
Knock, knock. The sound of a fist slamming against a door is heard as the scene opens to the silver haired man wearing a stylish plaid blazer with grey slacks and brown shoes. The man cleared his throat as beads of sweat rolled down his forehead. From the looks of the carpeting and the hallway it seems as if we are currently located inside of a hotel. The sound of a chain lock being undone is heard from the other side of the door. The off white hotel room door swings open to expose Chris “Trigger” Cavanagh. Trigger stands in a white tank top and a pair of blue sweatpants. Trigger looks at the silver haired man and raises his right eyebrow.
Um, what do you want guy?
Well, uh, Mister, uh, Trigger, uh….
Ta-ta-ta-today junior!
Sir, I was, um, wondering…
Oh, shit, now I remember who the fuck you are! You’re that “esteemed colleague” from the last time I decided to give an interview to the media.
Yeah, I, um, I’m the esteemed colleague.
So, esteemed colleague, what in the blue hell is it that you want exactly?!
I, uh, I was hoping for an exclusive.
An exclusive? Like an exclusive action figure? You gotta holla at Ringside Collectibles for that kinda shit man, this place I been working for doesn’t even have action figures!
Not that, I mean…
Oh, like a Chase Funko Pop? I don’t get why everybody goes so wild for those fucking things—like really, they never made any of The Celtic Club so how good can they actually be?
Not exactly…
So you want my autograph? Really? You knocked on my hotel room door for a god damned autograph? Alright fine, you got a Sharpie?
No, I mean, uh, an interview…that’s right, that’s the word.
Oh, that’s all? I mean, I was kind of trying to avoid you blood sucking leeches like the plague this time around—I’m kinda in the zone Chief but I guess I can spare a few minutes.
Trigger walks away from the door into the hotel room as the Esteemed Colleague follows him into the hotel room. Near the foot of the bed can be seen tension bands—how else is a guy supposed to train when he’s always on the road? Trigger sits down on the only seat in the hotel room and kicks his feet up to the king sized bed. The Esteemed Colleague goes to sit on the bed.
Um, no, I don’t think so. I don’t know where your fifty pants have been—they look like you’ve owned them since 1988 man! You can stand for this interview alright, Esteemed Colleague?
Yes, um, I’m sorry.
The Esteemed Colleague gets to his feet, he takes out his notepad and his pen to review his questions that he had prepared.
Mr. Trigger, first off, I’d like to congratulate you on qualifying for the semi-finals of the NPW Cruiserweight Cup…
Congratulate me?! Well, ain’t that some shit! Didn’t you listen last time you had a conversation with me Esteemed? I said I would beat Adrien Cochrane, I did…I said I would beat the ever loving piss out of Lord Dominicus, I did…I said I would win against Niko, and what the fuck did you expect to happen exactly? Me lose?! You people on this side of the border man, I don’t know, you guys act like you ain’t never heard of the Cavanagh boys! We do what we want, when we want and there ain’t a god damned person that can stop this bloodline.
Oh, I’m, uh, sorry. Well, either way, great job it sure was enjoyable watching you do everything you told us you’d do. I can’t believe anyone would have doubted you.
Yeah, tell me about it! Who doubted me anyway? Was it your sugar tits?! Did that stupid woman seriously think I wouldn’t win or something?
Who? Heather? No, no…Heather knew you’d win too, I swear it!
Ok then Esteemed—since you both knew I’d win, what is it with you media types? Why do you guys still come to bother me and ask me questions? You know damn well what’s going to happen on February 2nd! The day is gonna start out like it always does—people are gonna look at that stupid groundhog to see if we have more winter. Then the day is going to progress, I’ll probably shoot my brother Johnnie a “happy birthday” text if he doesn’t come to the show, then I’ll go into the ring to face off against Eron Hunter. That match, he will probably give it his all—I’ll give it maybe fifty percent and I’ll come out the victor—just like with Niko…why give it my all when I don’t need to?
Well, I mean, I guess you’re right there. You have kind of made easy work of the competition you’ve faced in this tournament so far.
Yeah, I’d say so. Like I said Cochrane and Niko fell, Dominicus was a different game plan—the only reason that piece of shit got the win was because I was too focused on injuring him rather than putting him away for the win. Now, back to February 2nd—after I pin Eron Hunter’s shoulders to the mat then I get to go to the back, rest up a bit—maybe I’ll give Heather a little something, something in between…you know she’s always snooping around backstage, right?
That’s her job, she’s a reporter.
Yeah, I heard she’s been reporting jock strap sizes lately.
The Esteemed Colleague’s jaw drops at Trigger’s insinuation.
Anyway, sorry to be the bearer of all the bad news on that one, but…after I eliminate Eron Hunter from this tournament and after I pound the snot out of your little honey dip…you know, I’ll probably smoke a cigarette, have a shot of Jamo or seven and then I’ll wait around until its my time to truly shine.
When its your time?
Yeah, that’s right…how could I forget? I’m always shining!
Trigger laughed momentarily before he was able to calm himself and return to the conversation.
But, really, it’s not like Eron Hunter and I are the finals—its not like he and I fight and then I go into the finals in a couple of weeks like every other match in this tournament…nah, I gotta wait around on the second of February for the whole god damned night because the final match of the night, the main event of the the night--that’s right its gonna be Trigger Cavanagh taking on the winner of Jay Stevens and Adrien Cochrane. And, Esteemed, do you know what the outcome of that match is going to be?
Um, you—winning?
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!!!! That’s right everybody, get this old geezer a fucking prize! The Celtic Club is going to end February 2nd, 2021 celebrating two achievements: Trigger Cavanagh winning the 2021 Cruiserweight Cup and gaining a title match for the XHF World Junior Heavyweight Championship and, ya know, my big brother’s birthday too.
February 2nd is John’s birthday?
Of course it is you dumb schmuck, didn’t you hear me say I’d shoot the guy a happy birthday text earlier?
I mean, I guess I must have missed that.
Well, that was a mistake fucko—you better make sure that you have some nice birthday gift for Johnnie at the show or he’s gonna hear about how you didn’t pay attention to his birthday! Dude is a fucking beast, could give two shits less about most people and most holidays, but his birthday--shit that is one day you better not fuck up or forget. Now, silver fox, Esteemed Colleague--whatever your name is...
It's actually Ronald, sir.
Ronald? Ronald what?
Ronald Tremblay.
Ronald Tremblay? What the fuck kind of a name is that?! What ever happened to last names like Cavanagh, Donahue, Kennedy, O'Riley, McCann, ya know...those strong, good Irish last names. That sounds like a Frenchie name to me.
I am part French-Canadian, sir.
Ah, that explains it...
Explains what?
Exactly.
Ronald Tremblay stares off at Trigger with a look of confusion as Trigger shakes his head and motions with his hand that "it" went over Ronald's head as the scene cuts to static.
Um, what do you want guy?
Well, uh, Mister, uh, Trigger, uh….
Ta-ta-ta-today junior!
Sir, I was, um, wondering…
Oh, shit, now I remember who the fuck you are! You’re that “esteemed colleague” from the last time I decided to give an interview to the media.
Yeah, I, um, I’m the esteemed colleague.
So, esteemed colleague, what in the blue hell is it that you want exactly?!
I, uh, I was hoping for an exclusive.
An exclusive? Like an exclusive action figure? You gotta holla at Ringside Collectibles for that kinda shit man, this place I been working for doesn’t even have action figures!
Not that, I mean…
Oh, like a Chase Funko Pop? I don’t get why everybody goes so wild for those fucking things—like really, they never made any of The Celtic Club so how good can they actually be?
Not exactly…
So you want my autograph? Really? You knocked on my hotel room door for a god damned autograph? Alright fine, you got a Sharpie?
No, I mean, uh, an interview…that’s right, that’s the word.
Oh, that’s all? I mean, I was kind of trying to avoid you blood sucking leeches like the plague this time around—I’m kinda in the zone Chief but I guess I can spare a few minutes.
Trigger walks away from the door into the hotel room as the Esteemed Colleague follows him into the hotel room. Near the foot of the bed can be seen tension bands—how else is a guy supposed to train when he’s always on the road? Trigger sits down on the only seat in the hotel room and kicks his feet up to the king sized bed. The Esteemed Colleague goes to sit on the bed.
Um, no, I don’t think so. I don’t know where your fifty pants have been—they look like you’ve owned them since 1988 man! You can stand for this interview alright, Esteemed Colleague?
Yes, um, I’m sorry.
The Esteemed Colleague gets to his feet, he takes out his notepad and his pen to review his questions that he had prepared.
Mr. Trigger, first off, I’d like to congratulate you on qualifying for the semi-finals of the NPW Cruiserweight Cup…
Congratulate me?! Well, ain’t that some shit! Didn’t you listen last time you had a conversation with me Esteemed? I said I would beat Adrien Cochrane, I did…I said I would beat the ever loving piss out of Lord Dominicus, I did…I said I would win against Niko, and what the fuck did you expect to happen exactly? Me lose?! You people on this side of the border man, I don’t know, you guys act like you ain’t never heard of the Cavanagh boys! We do what we want, when we want and there ain’t a god damned person that can stop this bloodline.
Oh, I’m, uh, sorry. Well, either way, great job it sure was enjoyable watching you do everything you told us you’d do. I can’t believe anyone would have doubted you.
Yeah, tell me about it! Who doubted me anyway? Was it your sugar tits?! Did that stupid woman seriously think I wouldn’t win or something?
Who? Heather? No, no…Heather knew you’d win too, I swear it!
Ok then Esteemed—since you both knew I’d win, what is it with you media types? Why do you guys still come to bother me and ask me questions? You know damn well what’s going to happen on February 2nd! The day is gonna start out like it always does—people are gonna look at that stupid groundhog to see if we have more winter. Then the day is going to progress, I’ll probably shoot my brother Johnnie a “happy birthday” text if he doesn’t come to the show, then I’ll go into the ring to face off against Eron Hunter. That match, he will probably give it his all—I’ll give it maybe fifty percent and I’ll come out the victor—just like with Niko…why give it my all when I don’t need to?
Well, I mean, I guess you’re right there. You have kind of made easy work of the competition you’ve faced in this tournament so far.
Yeah, I’d say so. Like I said Cochrane and Niko fell, Dominicus was a different game plan—the only reason that piece of shit got the win was because I was too focused on injuring him rather than putting him away for the win. Now, back to February 2nd—after I pin Eron Hunter’s shoulders to the mat then I get to go to the back, rest up a bit—maybe I’ll give Heather a little something, something in between…you know she’s always snooping around backstage, right?
That’s her job, she’s a reporter.
Yeah, I heard she’s been reporting jock strap sizes lately.
The Esteemed Colleague’s jaw drops at Trigger’s insinuation.
Anyway, sorry to be the bearer of all the bad news on that one, but…after I eliminate Eron Hunter from this tournament and after I pound the snot out of your little honey dip…you know, I’ll probably smoke a cigarette, have a shot of Jamo or seven and then I’ll wait around until its my time to truly shine.
When its your time?
Yeah, that’s right…how could I forget? I’m always shining!
Trigger laughed momentarily before he was able to calm himself and return to the conversation.
But, really, it’s not like Eron Hunter and I are the finals—its not like he and I fight and then I go into the finals in a couple of weeks like every other match in this tournament…nah, I gotta wait around on the second of February for the whole god damned night because the final match of the night, the main event of the the night--that’s right its gonna be Trigger Cavanagh taking on the winner of Jay Stevens and Adrien Cochrane. And, Esteemed, do you know what the outcome of that match is going to be?
Um, you—winning?
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding!!!! That’s right everybody, get this old geezer a fucking prize! The Celtic Club is going to end February 2nd, 2021 celebrating two achievements: Trigger Cavanagh winning the 2021 Cruiserweight Cup and gaining a title match for the XHF World Junior Heavyweight Championship and, ya know, my big brother’s birthday too.
February 2nd is John’s birthday?
Of course it is you dumb schmuck, didn’t you hear me say I’d shoot the guy a happy birthday text earlier?
I mean, I guess I must have missed that.
Well, that was a mistake fucko—you better make sure that you have some nice birthday gift for Johnnie at the show or he’s gonna hear about how you didn’t pay attention to his birthday! Dude is a fucking beast, could give two shits less about most people and most holidays, but his birthday--shit that is one day you better not fuck up or forget. Now, silver fox, Esteemed Colleague--whatever your name is...
It's actually Ronald, sir.
Ronald? Ronald what?
Ronald Tremblay.
Ronald Tremblay? What the fuck kind of a name is that?! What ever happened to last names like Cavanagh, Donahue, Kennedy, O'Riley, McCann, ya know...those strong, good Irish last names. That sounds like a Frenchie name to me.
I am part French-Canadian, sir.
Ah, that explains it...
Explains what?
Exactly.
Ronald Tremblay stares off at Trigger with a look of confusion as Trigger shakes his head and motions with his hand that "it" went over Ronald's head as the scene cuts to static.
