Post by John Cavanagh on Feb 14, 2021 23:19:18 GMT -5
The scene opens to the voice of Northern Pro Wrestling, Blake Samuels, seated on a dark brown leather couch with a smile on his face. Across from him sat a man who wasn't as smiley, Hell's Kitchen's Favorite Son, John Cavanagh.
Good evening Northern Pro faithful. I’m here today with a one on one interview with a man that needs no introduction, the leader of The Celtic Club, “The One Man Dynasty”...John Cavanagh. John, thank you for giving us this time.
Yeah, you’re welcome. Let’s skip all of the little introductory bullshit and let’s just get straight to the point—straight to the purpose of your request.
The purpose of this interview, well, there are multiple purposes here, John. I, as the voice of Northern Pro, have seen lots of talent come and go around this promotion and what I want to know—what the NPW faithful want to know—is just what makes John Cavanagh think he is so superior?
What makes me think I’m “superior”? No, I think you made a mistake in the way you worded that. Why I KNOW I’m superior! There isn’t much more to be said that I haven’t already shared with you and the northerners around these parts. I came into this promotion as part of a talent exchange between some piss ant promotion that died and went to hell. The Devil himself is probably pissing on its asses as we speak. I took part in the Lethal Lottery tournament as a somewhat of a small invading force only to find myself as a lone wolf gunning for the promotion's newly established North American Double Crown Championship. I carried my god damned team to the battle royal just to have some schmuck get lucky and eliminate me.
Yes, and that brings me to my next point. Where exactly have you been ever since? You won an inter gender match with Isabel Rios and then seemingly disappeared off of the radar--where did you go?
John's unfriendly demeanor had changed to ice cold. His cold blue eyes looked as if a murderous rage had over taken his mind--void of all soul. John shook his head snapping himself out of it a bit but a scowl remained on his face.
Listen to me Samuels, no one cuts me off--don't think you're fucking special. Where did I go? Not that its any of your god damned business but I had some scheduling conflicts that made it a little difficult for me to appear at NPW events. I don't know if you noticed but it ain't like The Celtic Club ran away scared--my brother Trigger was floating around these parts, wasn't he? Maybe you might have noticed--being the company man that you are don't you know everything already?
I may be privy to a bit more information than the average person under contract but I am also a journalist Mr. Cavanagh. Of course I saw Trigger up close and personal, impressive showing he made in the Cruiserweight Cup I must say.
Yeah, Trig gave it a good go but let's kick the ballistics on this one a little bit. First off he qualified for the semi-finals and did exactly what he was supposed to do in order to do it. We knew the point system gave him the advantage if he spent a little too much time kicking Dominicus' ass and thats exactly what happened. But, when push came to shove, he only almost won that tournament. Let's face it, Samuels, almost only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades--and last I checked this sport ain't either of those. Trigger showed what he could do against the rank and file around these parts but he's gotta get all of his shit in order if he wants to be the force to be reckoned with that he can truly be.
Blake Samuels shook his head up and down, placing his thumb on his chin as he pondered the implications this could mean for "The Celtic Club". Then the thought entered his mind...
John, earlier you mentioned something that your brother had constantly brought up during his foray into Northern Pro Wrestling--that being The Celtic Club--would you mind filling the NPW audience in on what exactly that is?
Ya know, I'm trying hard to not be stereotypical and play the anti-Canadian foreign bad guy that us Americans are so used to seeing European and Canadian wrestlers embody but what the fuck? Don't you people have the Internet up here? You guys do know there is such a thing as Google right? Has it really been that big of a mystery since Trig showed up?
Well, um, not exactly. I don't see why you need to be so defiant--this is an interview after all.
John allowed a smirk to develop on the left side of his face. He didn't expect some little runt to have this much gaul but he had to respect it somewhat--as long as the shit didn't get too far out of line.
You got some balls, huh little guy? Better watch yourself. I'll answer your question for the people who have been a bit too lazy or too stupid to find out. The Celtic Club is myself, my brother and a young protege of ours named Andy Donahue--sometime you guys might see him...he kinda looks like Ultimate Warrior and Wolverine had their genes mixed in a lab.
That sounds...uh...quite terrifying, actually.
John smiled, he couldn't help but appreciate the response. He knew that nobody in NPW knew what could happen if the entire Celtic Club was running a muck together. John, Trigger, Andy--that's a tough lineup to contend with.
What is the ultimate goal of The Celtic Club here in Northern Pro Wrestling?
What do you think the ultimate goal is Samuels? To make a whole shit of friends and earn the respect of our peers--those are the two most important thing in this sport after all aren't they?
John begins to laugh, it takes him a good five seconds or so to regain his composure.
I'm sorry man, I just couldn't keep a straight face saying that. The two most important things in this line of work are simple--earning the biggest paychecks and winning championships and those two are the two ultimate goals of The Celtic Club everywhere we go whether that is somewhere we have been, somewhere we currently are or somewhere we might all pop up together in.
Speaking of championships. You may have your best opportunity at gaining a championship since your entry in the Lethal Lottery battle royal when you face off against Shawn Kutter and Leon Van Zandt in a triple threat match where the winner has the opportunity to challenge for any championship they want in the promotion. What are your thoughts on all of that?
I guess you didn't check the promo I put out to the NPW Universe already. Let's face it, it's a mammoth opportunity that I'm not taking lightly. I'd like to sit here and give you my good old cocky asshole answer of I'm going to run roughshod all over these guys and there ain't shit that any of the two can do to stop me but I'd be foolish to walk into this kind of a match thinking anything like that. Let's be real, I could literally incapacitate one of these morons and the other one could clothesline me over the top rope and then, boom, douche bag number one picks up the pieces to gain the victory. How am I going to stop that from happening? There isn't a god damned way of me stopping it other than to incapacitate both of them--and that's exactly what I'm going to do at Vicious Valentine's. Kutter, he had to have had to had enough talent to win this opportunity in the first place but that doesn't mean a god damned thing to me because John Cavanagh wasn't a participant in that match. Leon Van Zandt? We've met before, it's always nice to have a little bit of history with someone in the ring. I know it wasn't a one on one encounter--if it was you probably would already have come to grips with the outcome of our match on the sixteenth--but look at the result, all the same. John Cavanagh's team won...Leon Van Zandt's team lost--be ready for more of the same at Vicious Valentine's.
Well, John, thank you for your time and I hope that you'll be open to being more open with the journalists, like myself, who cover our wonderful company.
John shakes his head and smiles while he raises his eyebrows in slight disbelief.
Yeah, sure, whatever Samuels.
The scene cuts to static.
Good evening Northern Pro faithful. I’m here today with a one on one interview with a man that needs no introduction, the leader of The Celtic Club, “The One Man Dynasty”...John Cavanagh. John, thank you for giving us this time.
Yeah, you’re welcome. Let’s skip all of the little introductory bullshit and let’s just get straight to the point—straight to the purpose of your request.
The purpose of this interview, well, there are multiple purposes here, John. I, as the voice of Northern Pro, have seen lots of talent come and go around this promotion and what I want to know—what the NPW faithful want to know—is just what makes John Cavanagh think he is so superior?
What makes me think I’m “superior”? No, I think you made a mistake in the way you worded that. Why I KNOW I’m superior! There isn’t much more to be said that I haven’t already shared with you and the northerners around these parts. I came into this promotion as part of a talent exchange between some piss ant promotion that died and went to hell. The Devil himself is probably pissing on its asses as we speak. I took part in the Lethal Lottery tournament as a somewhat of a small invading force only to find myself as a lone wolf gunning for the promotion's newly established North American Double Crown Championship. I carried my god damned team to the battle royal just to have some schmuck get lucky and eliminate me.
Yes, and that brings me to my next point. Where exactly have you been ever since? You won an inter gender match with Isabel Rios and then seemingly disappeared off of the radar--where did you go?
John's unfriendly demeanor had changed to ice cold. His cold blue eyes looked as if a murderous rage had over taken his mind--void of all soul. John shook his head snapping himself out of it a bit but a scowl remained on his face.
Listen to me Samuels, no one cuts me off--don't think you're fucking special. Where did I go? Not that its any of your god damned business but I had some scheduling conflicts that made it a little difficult for me to appear at NPW events. I don't know if you noticed but it ain't like The Celtic Club ran away scared--my brother Trigger was floating around these parts, wasn't he? Maybe you might have noticed--being the company man that you are don't you know everything already?
I may be privy to a bit more information than the average person under contract but I am also a journalist Mr. Cavanagh. Of course I saw Trigger up close and personal, impressive showing he made in the Cruiserweight Cup I must say.
Yeah, Trig gave it a good go but let's kick the ballistics on this one a little bit. First off he qualified for the semi-finals and did exactly what he was supposed to do in order to do it. We knew the point system gave him the advantage if he spent a little too much time kicking Dominicus' ass and thats exactly what happened. But, when push came to shove, he only almost won that tournament. Let's face it, Samuels, almost only counts in horse shoes and hand grenades--and last I checked this sport ain't either of those. Trigger showed what he could do against the rank and file around these parts but he's gotta get all of his shit in order if he wants to be the force to be reckoned with that he can truly be.
Blake Samuels shook his head up and down, placing his thumb on his chin as he pondered the implications this could mean for "The Celtic Club". Then the thought entered his mind...
John, earlier you mentioned something that your brother had constantly brought up during his foray into Northern Pro Wrestling--that being The Celtic Club--would you mind filling the NPW audience in on what exactly that is?
Ya know, I'm trying hard to not be stereotypical and play the anti-Canadian foreign bad guy that us Americans are so used to seeing European and Canadian wrestlers embody but what the fuck? Don't you people have the Internet up here? You guys do know there is such a thing as Google right? Has it really been that big of a mystery since Trig showed up?
Well, um, not exactly. I don't see why you need to be so defiant--this is an interview after all.
John allowed a smirk to develop on the left side of his face. He didn't expect some little runt to have this much gaul but he had to respect it somewhat--as long as the shit didn't get too far out of line.
You got some balls, huh little guy? Better watch yourself. I'll answer your question for the people who have been a bit too lazy or too stupid to find out. The Celtic Club is myself, my brother and a young protege of ours named Andy Donahue--sometime you guys might see him...he kinda looks like Ultimate Warrior and Wolverine had their genes mixed in a lab.
That sounds...uh...quite terrifying, actually.
John smiled, he couldn't help but appreciate the response. He knew that nobody in NPW knew what could happen if the entire Celtic Club was running a muck together. John, Trigger, Andy--that's a tough lineup to contend with.
What is the ultimate goal of The Celtic Club here in Northern Pro Wrestling?
What do you think the ultimate goal is Samuels? To make a whole shit of friends and earn the respect of our peers--those are the two most important thing in this sport after all aren't they?
John begins to laugh, it takes him a good five seconds or so to regain his composure.
I'm sorry man, I just couldn't keep a straight face saying that. The two most important things in this line of work are simple--earning the biggest paychecks and winning championships and those two are the two ultimate goals of The Celtic Club everywhere we go whether that is somewhere we have been, somewhere we currently are or somewhere we might all pop up together in.
Speaking of championships. You may have your best opportunity at gaining a championship since your entry in the Lethal Lottery battle royal when you face off against Shawn Kutter and Leon Van Zandt in a triple threat match where the winner has the opportunity to challenge for any championship they want in the promotion. What are your thoughts on all of that?
I guess you didn't check the promo I put out to the NPW Universe already. Let's face it, it's a mammoth opportunity that I'm not taking lightly. I'd like to sit here and give you my good old cocky asshole answer of I'm going to run roughshod all over these guys and there ain't shit that any of the two can do to stop me but I'd be foolish to walk into this kind of a match thinking anything like that. Let's be real, I could literally incapacitate one of these morons and the other one could clothesline me over the top rope and then, boom, douche bag number one picks up the pieces to gain the victory. How am I going to stop that from happening? There isn't a god damned way of me stopping it other than to incapacitate both of them--and that's exactly what I'm going to do at Vicious Valentine's. Kutter, he had to have had to had enough talent to win this opportunity in the first place but that doesn't mean a god damned thing to me because John Cavanagh wasn't a participant in that match. Leon Van Zandt? We've met before, it's always nice to have a little bit of history with someone in the ring. I know it wasn't a one on one encounter--if it was you probably would already have come to grips with the outcome of our match on the sixteenth--but look at the result, all the same. John Cavanagh's team won...Leon Van Zandt's team lost--be ready for more of the same at Vicious Valentine's.
Well, John, thank you for your time and I hope that you'll be open to being more open with the journalists, like myself, who cover our wonderful company.
John shakes his head and smiles while he raises his eyebrows in slight disbelief.
Yeah, sure, whatever Samuels.
The scene cuts to static.
