Battleground #36 : Texas Turmoil (Show)

[SWAT Team]

The arena goes dark as an orange strobe light plays along to the beginning of "Bullets with Butterfly Wings" by The Smashing Pumpkins. Rayzor walks out and stands center stage, looking around slowly with a smug look on his face as he raises his right arm in the air and pauses to breathe it all in. He then begins his slow walk to the ring. Rayzor gets ringside and walks around the entire ring and ignores the fans at ringside.

Already standing in the ring with referee Phil Weston, Frank Salazar holds a microphone near his mouth as he begins to announce the next match.

Frank Salazar: The following contest is scheduled for one fall with a twenty minute time limit. Introducing first... From Edmonton, Alberta, Canada... Standing in at 6'10", weighing 328 pounds... "THE LEGEND" RAYYYYYYYYYYYZOOOOORRRRRRRRRRR!!!

When Rayzor gets to the steps, he puts one leg up and brushes his hair back before he makes it up to the apron and then steps over the ropes. In the ring, The Legend stands in the center and raises both hands as fireworks come out of the back two ring posts. He makes his way over to the corner, rests both arms on the top rope and awaits the start of the match.

Jeremy Tucker: Legend versus legend. Rayzor versus Dane. Tonight we find out who the better man is!

Andrew Fulton: Eric Dane.

Jeremy Tucker: The match hasn't even happened yet, Fulton!

Andrew Fulton: Doesn't need to, I know how great The Only Star is. Do you not watch Northern Pro Wrestling, Jerry? Are you too good to enjoy another company's programming? Ya mark.

Jeremy Tucker: Um, anyways... It looks like your guy is making his entrance.

"Stinkfist" by Tool rocks the PA system as "The Only Star" Eric Dane steps out from the curtains to a raucous, negative reaction from the small crowd in attendance. Most notable is the shiny, adamantium knee brace wrapped around his leg. Soaking in the boos, Dane takes his time making it to the ring, not feeling hurried by anyone or anything.

Frank Salazar: And his opponent... From New Orleans, Louisiana... Standing in at 6'4", weighing 230 pounds... "THE ONLY STAR" ERICCCCCCC DAAAAANNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Up on the ring apron now, Dane bends his knee with the brace several times, making sure to get all the cracks out and force life into it as he steps through the ropes. Phil Weston quickly pats down both men and explains the rules, signaling to the timekeeper to start the match. The bell rings and it's time for the action to begin.

Andrew Fulton: Here we go! Dane steps up to Rayzor and The Legend challenges The Only Star to a test of strength! Looming over Dane, Rayzor lifts both arms in the air and waits for his opponent to meet his grip.

Jeremy Tucker: Dane acts as if he's going to try, then drives the end of his boot into the gut of Rayzor. It only mildly annoys him, so Dane repeats what he just did, kicking Rayzor in the gut for a second time.

Andrew Fulton: Mostly unaffected, Rayzor abandons his effort to engage in a Greco Roman Knuckle Lock and advances on The Only Star. Eric avoids contact by partially slipping through the ropes and yelling at the official to get Rayzor back.

Jeremy Tucker: Begrudgingly, Phil Weston forces Rayzor to distance himself from his opponent. The referee obstructing his view, Rayzor doesn't see Dane until it's too late. The Only Star pounces on The Legend and clips his knee from the front with a SHOULDER TACKLE!

Andrew Fulton: Picking and choosing his spots, Dane rolls to the outside to take a powder as Rayzor rubs the spot that was hit and glares at The Only Star.

Jeremy Tucker: Back up on the ring apron, Dane looks as if he's going to enter again and decides better of it, dropping off to adjust his knee brace. Why is The Only Star stalling?

Andrew Fulton: He's not stalling! He's adhering to proper gear maintenance! He doesn't want it locking up mid-match!

Jeremy Tucker: Shouldn't Dane have done that before he came out?

Andrew Fulton: Semantics, Jerry! Semantics!

Jeremy Tucker: The Legend impatiently stomps around inside the ring as he waits for The Only Star to re-enter. Sliding halfway under the bottom rope, eyes trained on Rayzor, Eric Dane slowly edges his body completely in.

Andrew Fulton: As he rises, Eric Dane is barreled against the corner as Rayzor rushes him and unleashes a series of stiff elbow strikes! Stunned, Dane is picked up and immediately dropped on the top turnbuckle with a SNAKE EYES! Wasting no motion, Rayzor hits the opposite ropes as Dane stumbles back around and nails a RUNNING BIG BOOT! There's a cover and Weston makes the count!

ONE!!!


KICKOUT!!!

Jeremy Tucker: It's going to take more than that, but the point was made! The Legend isn't tolerating any of Dane's shenanigans tonight!

Andrew Fulton: The man was readying himself for the match!

Jeremy Tucker: Whatever you say, Fulton.

Andrew Fulton: Lifting Dane to a vertical position momentarily, Rayzor flattens him with a SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE!! Neglecting to pin The Only Star, The Legend maintains wrist control and pulls Dane up, clobbering him with another SHORT ARM CLOTHESLINE!!

Jeremy Tucker: Rayzor isn't playing around, he's intent on squashing Eric Dane!

Andrew Fulton: Aiming for a third, Rayzor nearly takes Dane's head off, but The Only Star ducks at the last second and unloads KNIFE EDGE CHOP AFTER KNIFE EDGE CHOP DIRECTLY TO THE BRIDGE OF THE NOSE!!

Jeremy Tucker: Putting both hands up as a defense, The Legend leaves his previously targeted knee open and Dane hones in, driving the point of his boot into the kneecap repeatedly!

Andrew Fulton: Knee strikes to the abdomen from The Only Star has The Legend hunched over enough for Dane to cinch in a front facelock, roughly dropping Rayzor on top of his head with a DDT!!

Jeremy Tucker: Transitioning to a submission, The Only Star grabs hold of Rayzor's leg with the damaged knee, rolling over into a KNEEBAR!!

Andrew Fulton: Flailing his massive body, Rayzor manages to wiggle a hand out to grasp the bottom rope. Phil Weston admonishes Eric Dane for keeping the hold locked in. One, two, three, four! Just before five The Only Star lets go and scrambles to be the first one up!

Jeremy Tucker: Stomping over and over on the bad leg of Rayzor, Eric Dane isn't letting up! He's obviously picked a limb and he's sticking to it to wear the bigger man down.

Andrew Fulton: The Legend gets to his knees and The Only Star grabs him, spiking his head into the mat with a PULLING PILEDRIVER!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Dane wasn't able to get the full effect due to Rayzor not standing, but it did what was needed! Muscling Rayzor onto his back, Dane pins him!

ONE!!!


TWO!!!


KICKOUT!!!

Andrew Fulton: Double fish hooking Rayzor by the mouth, Dane forces The Legend to a standing position once more. Grappling the bigger man, The Only Star attempts to get him up for the STARDRIVER!!

Jeremy Tucker: Dane does everything he can to hoist Rayzor overhead, but he's not able to get him completely upright. The Legend lands on his feet in front of The Only Star, burying an elbow into the temple of Eric Dane!

Andrew Fulton: A flurry of elbow strikes allows Rayzor to scoop up and slam Eric Dane down with THE FALL OF FAME!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Straight into a cover after the Thunder Fire Powerbomb, Rayzor seeks to end this match!

ONE!!!


TWO!!!


THREE??? NO!!! KICKOUT!!!

Andrew Fulton: Thank God! The KGB collectively breathes a sigh of relief.

Jeremy Tucker: You know Eric Dane is as worried as his stablemates right now. If that won't put him away, another Fall of Fame definitely will!

Andrew Fulton: Lying on the mat, both baseball mitt sized hands on Dane's throat, Rayzor chokes his opponent without mercy. Phil Weston has no choice but to start a five count as The Legend angrily yells in the face of Dane!

Jeremy Tucker: At four Rayzor relents and permits his opponent to suck in oxygen. Gasping for air on all fours, Dane crawls to the nearby corner, using the ropes for assistance to stand. Back to Rayzor, Dane seems to be fidgeting with something.

Andrew Fulton: The Legend charges, narrowly steering clear of the exposed top turnbuckle as The Only Star dives out of the way, the turnbuckle pad he removed in his hands.

Jeremy Tucker: Leaning over, Rayzor deadlifts Dane from the canvas and tosses him back with a GUTWRENCH SUPLEX!! The turnbuckle pad The Only Star had went flying and is lost forever somewhere outside the ring!

Andrew Fulton: Not letting go, Dane gets back up, arms still wrapped around his opponent. He might've hurt his knee, Jerry.

Jeremy Tucker: Yeah, Rayzor is lifting that leg and bending the knee that Dane's been working this entire match.

Andrew Fulton: Roaring, Rayzor elevates Dane and goes for THE FALL OF FAME!!

Jeremy Tucker: The Only Star shimmies down the back of The Legend and immediately returns to that knee! The boots don't seem to be ending! Dane won't stop!

Andrew Fulton: Pushing him into the corner, Dane bashes Rayzor's face off of the exposed steel! Grabbing him from behind, The Only Star heaves Rayzor into the air and drops him hurt knee first on the top turnbuckle!

Jeremy Tucker: Nowhere else to go, Rayzor takes a tumble as he bounces off of the ring apron and lands with a thud on the floor!

Andrew Fulton: Yelling at the official, Eric Dane curses for the referee to count him out! Phil Weston checks to ensure Rayzor can continue, then starts counting.

1!


2!


3!


4!


5!


6!

Jeremy Tucker: I don't think Rayzor is going to make it back in the ring!

Andrew Fulton: Don't count him out just yet! The Legend is using the barricade to support him!

Struggling, The Legend does his best to stretch that badly damaged knee and smack some feeling into it.

Jeremy Tucker: There's no way!

7!


8!


9!

Andrew Fulton: He did it! Rayzor slid in before ten and this match will continue!

Jeremy Tucker: On one knee, The Legend never sees it coming! SHINING STAR! SHINING STAR!! SHINING STAR!!!

Andrew Fulton: That Shining Wizard connected and Rayzor's face took one hundred percent of that adamantium knee brace!

Jeremy Tucker: Backstepping, The Only Star puts space between him and Rayzor. The Legend stirs, getting back up to a knee, but this proves to be a mistake!

Andrew Fulton: Darting across the ring, Eric Dane obliterates Rayzor with the STARBREAKER KNEE!!! Falling on top of The Legend, The Only Star hooks the leg with the bad knee.

ONE!!!


TWO!!!


THREE!!!

Frank Salazar: The winner of this match via pinfall... "THE ONLY STAR" ERRRRRRICCCCCCCCCCC DAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Jeremy Tucker: He fought valiantly, but ultimately the brains of Eric Dane were too much for Rayzor. The Legend has nothing to be ashamed of, he took it to The Only Star.

Andrew Fulton: Rayzor found out like many before him that Eric Dane can be overwhelming.

[frostbite]

Backstage..

Beep... Beep..

An odd noise is heard which is something we are not use to. It sounds well like someone is riding around backstage area in a car but that would be impossible.

Beep.. Beep..

We see one backstage hand wearing the latest SWAT gear as it has written in big bold red letters on the front of this white shirt this short black haired lady is currently wearing to along with her black jeans which has holes right where both of her knees are at.

Voice.. HEY BITCH... You need to get the hell out of our way.

The young lady has a shocked look in her green eyes as she sees something coming right at her. It is almost on top of her as she has to dive to the side avoid getting hit as something moves right past her, our cameras could not even catch what it was that almost hit her.

Beep.. Beep..

Our cameras catch what might be the back end of whatever this thing is, we can tell the back end is Red. As our cameras try to catch up to whatever that is, we come upon someone else but this short brown haired gentleman who is wearing a tan cowboy hat and has on yellow trunks and matching boots. His eyes get wide as he sees whatever is coming in his direction is about to hit him as well.

Voice.. Damn it, get out of the way.

However the young man does not see whatever it is in time can not get out of the way, but lucky for him, whatever this thing is stops right at his boots. We see that it is some type of motorized cart. However there is a familiar figure sitting at the wheel of this thing. He has short blonde hair and is wearing a red and black tee shirt with KGB written on it. He has on red and black long tights and matching boots.

Crowd.. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..

We see that it is Frostbite. He jumps out of this vehicle, as he walks over to the young man and looks him right in his eyes.

Frostbite.. Did you see me and your queen coming through.

The young man looks at Frostbite and then at the cart but we sees nothing, and then looks right into Frostbite intense blue eyes, however Frostbite steps away from the young man for a second.

Andrew Fulton.. Hey that is Texas Pete.

Jeremy Tucker.. If I remember things did not go well for him the last time he crossed Frostbite. Did Bruno toss him down the hall and Zoey kicked him in the nuts.

Andrew Fulton.. Good times.

Jeremy Tucker.. I am sure Frostbite was just having fun, you know blowing off some steam.

Frostbite turns to the cart and then looks right at Texas Pete.

Frostbite.. Hey man it has been awhile.

Texas Pete turns around as if he is about to walk well maybe run away as he starts to re member the last time he came across Frostbite path. However as he is trying to get away, Frostbite grabs his right arm and spins him around.

Frostbite.. Easy dude, there is no hard feelings about last time. I am glad I finally caught up with you.

Texas Pete as an odd look on his face.

Frostbite.. Look my lady is a fan of yours. See saw your dark match earlier, and see was impressed.

Texas Pete.. You mean Zoey was impressed.

Frostbite.. Zoey is not here she is out training. I mean your new queen around here.

Frostbite points to the cart, where is cellphone with a pic of the SWAT World title on it. Texas Pete has a perplexed look on his face.

Texas Pete.. Where is this young lady you speak of.

Frostbite points to the cart once again.

Frostbite., She is right there.

Texas Pete sees what we all see his cellphone.

Texas Pete,. Dude, all I see is your cellphone, you must have dropped getting out of the cart. And why do you need this cart. You are not injuried are You?

Frostbite.. No I am not hurt. I am using this cart because my woman does not need to walk around . She should be driven or carried around. She deserves it.

Frostbite walks over to the cart as he bends over as if the phone is talking to him. He looks back at the phone.

Frostbite., Are you sure my Love?

He shrugs his shoulders.

Frostbite.. I think it is an interest idea, but if you think that would be good then I am all for it.

Frostbite looks back at Texas Pete.

Frostbite.. Look my lady as an idea. I want to run it by you. She wants for you, to be her driver.

Texas Pete looks over at the cell phone and then right back Frostbite.

Texas Pete.. Are you talking to somebody on the other end of that phone?

Frostbite.. Are you stupid? Or are you blind? I am talking to my woman.

Texas Pete again looks at the cart and then at Frostbite.

Texas Pete.. Dude all I see his your cellphone. I do not see a woman.

Frostbite walks over to the cart as he leans as if his phone is saying something to him.

Frostbite.. My woman wants to know are you going to accept her offer.

Texas Pete.. Dude, have you lost you mind. There is nobody over there.

Frostbite races over as he spears Texas Pete right into the floor. He quickly gets to his feet as he begins to the boots to him. He picks up Texas Pete and tosses him ribs first right into the cart. As this is happening his cellphone drops to the floor. He sees this as he stops his attack on Texas Pete, as he rushes over to his phone with a look of concern in his blue eyes.

Frostbite.. Are you alright Love?

He leans down as he picks up his phone as he cuddles it.

Frostbite.. Please be okay my love.

He looks down as he leans in as if once again the phone is really saying something to him.

Frostbite.. He should have taken the offer my love. He could have had a place in your kingdom.

Texas Pete tries to pick himself up off the floor, as Frostbite spots him he races over as he connects with a curb stomp as Texas Pete head bounces off the floor. He reaches down as he picks him up by his hair. As he looks right into his face.

Frostbite.. You disrespect my woman. You should have taken her offer.

Frostbite picks up Texas Pete as he drags him by his hair around backstage as it appears he might be struggle because well he is probably dead weight because it appears he is out cold. He continues to drag him until he reaches what appears to be a brown chest. He and up the chest as he pulls Texas Pete lifeless body off the ground, and tosses him right into it. He closes it. He sees the lock that has landed on the floor. He bends down to pick it up as he puts the lock on the chest and shuts him in it.

Frostbite.. Stupid ass. All you had to do was take the offer.

He walks over to the cart as he grabs his phone. He reaches down once again as he picks up a gas can. He walks over back to the chest as he begins to pour gas all over it.

Jeremy Tucker.. Hope Frostbite is not really thinking about doing what I believe he might do. Somebody needs to stop him right now.

Frostbite reaches into his tights as he pulls out a lighter. He flicks it as the fire comes up.

Andrew Fulton.. I guess he should have taken the offer.

Jeremy Tucker.. Andrew this is taken it too far. That is s human being in there. Somebody needs to stop him.

Frostbite.. Team Fairtex, trust me you can look forward to this. Because I will burn everything to the ground until my love and I ate finally together. Those tag straps that you think you have a chance to win, well just like Texas Pete, well your chances are about to go up in flames.

Jeremy Tucker.. Frostbite do not do it.

Frostbite is about to throw the lighter onto the chest, but he suddenly stops as he looks in the other hand at his phone.

Frostbite.. What is that my Love?

Again he believes the phone is actually talking to him.

Frostbite.. I understand you my love.

He drops his head as he shuts off the lighter.

Frostbite.. Texas Pete you are lucky that my woman likes you. I wanted for you to burn.

He looks down at his phone.

Frostbite.. I guess I better get ready my love.

Jeremy Tucker.. I am glad that he came to his senses.

As Frostbite is about to walk away, he looks back.

Frostbite.. You know what, I can not forgive you for disrespecting my woman like that. She might be a forgiven woman, but I am not.

He flicks the lighter as he tosses it right onto the chest as the flames engulf it.

Jeremy Tucker.. SOMEONE PLEASE GET BACK THERE... SOMEONE IS IN THERE..

Frostbite is standing there just looking at the chest with a wicked grin across his lips. He begins to walk away as someone must have heard Jeremy Tucker plead as they are back there with fire extinguisher trying to put out the fire.

As the scene fades out..

[Deleted]

Back amongst the twisting and winding backstage corridors of the Amarillo Civic Center, Pequeno Dinosaurio is headed back toward the dressing room area.

Talent was divided up by those who can co-exist to minimize fights and then sub-divided by gender, he’d noted how rigid and structured talent management appeared. A detail his father had neglected to tell him.

Scratching his chin, he’s lost in thought, it was all so foreign. The list of things he had not been prepared for was growing each time he was booked. And still his phone had not rang.

So much had happened in so little time. His debut felt like ages ago, the pair of matches against Psychotic Goth now seemed a distant memory. Winning the SWAT Television Championship had made him a stand out, someone to be watched. The attention brought new challenges, and one peculiarly interested onlooker in particular in the form of the lovely Esmeralda Von Krauss.

Turning the corner a guttural scream takes him by surprise an instant before metal connecting with bone echoes in the hallway. Pain sears through his leg like hot fire as Dinosaurio drops to the ground clutching his right knee.

Between Spanish curses, he hears his assailant loud and clear. “The boss says to stay away from his wife lizard boy…” Landing a shot to to ribs with the pipe for good measure, the clang of the lead pipe hitting the floor drives his point home as much as a few punishing right hands to the covered up Television Champion do before security swarms the scene.

“Hey! What’s going on here! Somebody get a medic!” Yells a barrel chested man in a black shirt as six similarly dress men provided separation between Armand Von Krauss’ right hand man and the downed dinosaur.

Backing away with his hands up, Tuck finishes, “…next time I won’t play so nice! Next time I bring some of the bosses clowns for that pretty little bitch you hang around with! You hear me boy?! Stay away!” Spit flew as he yelled past the wall of humanity that had formed between them as road agents and arena staff joined in.

Gabriel Tuck is all smiles admiring his handy work and knowing he’s going back to his employer successful, praise and maybe even a bonus were in his future.

Jeremy Tucker: Oh no! One of Armand Von Krauss’ KGB goons just took out Pequeno Dinosaurio!

Andrew Fulton: Looks like the kid got what was coming to him to me Jeremy!

Jeremy Tucker: Each time it’s looked to me like is was Esmeralda making the advances and not Dinosaurio, but we can debate that later. Now we need to worry about tonight’s Television Championship match because it seems to be in jeopardy!

Andrew Fulton: That’s not how it works Tucker and you know it. Oxford Osland might just have had the Television Championship given to him by Armand Von Krauss courtesy of a forfeit!

Jeremy Tucker: I’d hate to see it go that way but we’ll get an update from the medical staff as soon as we can!

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: Aaaaand we’re back! And joining us at ringside for the next match is none other than the KGB’s own Eric Dane!

Eric Dane: That’s the Syndicate’s own, Superchief! Here in SWAT, with the KGB, you can consider me an independent contractor.

Andrew Fulton: Yeah! I mean, um, what?

Eric Dane: It means when Armand wants something done that only a heavy hitter such as myself can get done, then he ponies up the briefcase full of cash and I get it done.

Jeremy Tucker: So, to be clear, you’re not with the KGB?

Eric Dane: Don’t put words in my mouth, Friar Tuck, how about you worry about your job and I’ll worry about mine, capiche?

[The house lights go down, as a spotlight goes over the crowd. As the spotlight comes to a stop at the back of the entrance way, as Courtesy Call by Thousand Foot Krutch begins to play. A picture of the Italian Flag appears on the screen with the letters F.B.I over the flag, with the words "FULL BLOODED ITALIAN" written underneath. It soon changes to scenes of mob hits, newspaper clippings from just recently to the late 1900's, but soon changes once again, to shots of the Mafioso, sitting in a large office, and in limos, and in arena's from times past. The spotlight focuses on Joanne standing by herself at the top of the ramp.]

Andrew Fulton: Doesn’t she usually come with a bunch of heavies?

Jeremy Tucker: Maybe she’s confident that her back is already sufficiently covered…

Eric Dane: Seriously, Tuck, are you trying to start some shit? I’ll fight you, right here in front of everyone.

Andrew Fulton: HA!

Jeremy Tucker: It’s Tucker!

Andrew Fulton: With a hard R?

Eric Dane: That’s fuckin’ racist, Jerome!

[Cannelli makes her way toward the ring, brushing off her shoulders at anybody in the crowd giving her any guff.]

Eric Dane: Look at the Don, she looks great, am I right?

[She slides into the ring and smirks toward the hard camera. ]

Jeremy Tucker: Her mind is clearly on business tonight as even the Jersey Devil Diva knows that Death Trap is a big time player and a ten foot wall in a bowler hat standing in front of the KGB!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=P5iA4V4Mlds [/video[/url][/color][/u]]

Eric Dane: Fuck’s sake, here we go...

*The haunting vocal intro for "The Hard Sell" by Coheed and Cambria hits the speakers and the lights dim and blue and gold spotlights strobe around the arena. The video screen lights up with a familiar theme as it reads, "And now … SWAT presents … its MAIN ATTRACTION!" A foot shatters the screen and we cut to images from DT's matches in MCCW against the likes of Nelly Angel, Weaselpop, and Eichi Yamaguchi. The first verse sets in as the screen shows DT tapping out Jason Justice and being handed the MCCW World title for the second time.

Eric Dane: Has this guy done anything in SWAT but run his mouth?

Andrew Fulton: Well…

Eric Dane: I only ask because of this MCCW sparkle reel he’s got playing on the tron behind this crybaby emo bullshit music he calls an Entrance Theme!

"I'm paranoid, and sick of this world's misconception of things I did. My language poured across this wrist in a metaphoric disaster."

DT slowly walks into a red spotlight on the stage with his head down hidden under a hoodie. It's black and has his custom interlocking DT logo with an Italian flag and mariners compass on it on the back. He stands in the spotlight and slowly looks up showing off his signature bowler hat and sunglasses under the hood. The screen shows images of his victories over Alexis Grace, Duke Kosloff, Ai Moe, and Jeremiah Vastrix all split screen one per corner all in his signature 'Death Trap' Dragon Clutch finisher. It then flashes to him holding the EOD 2019 briefcase over his head. It quickly transforms into him getting three pinfalls over Anthony Caffrey and being handed the X*Crown facemask before wiping into an image of DT posing with his custom X*Crown belt, the ECF title with a big bad X on it.

"My guess, I'm missing out the punchline, unless this hanging noose is fitted to be all mine. I stood by everything I loved, while you never understood me much..."

Eric Dane: What a toolbox, this guy is so full of his own shit his eyes are brown!

Andrew Fulton: HA! Yeah! Fuck Death Trap!

Eric Dane: Don’t you mean Fuck Mongo?

Jeremy Tucker: Oh, will you stop?!

Eric Dane: I absolutely will not.

[DT flips the hood back and throws his hands up into a cross over his head before dropping them into his signature pose. The strobe blue and gold spotlights move faster around the arena as he soaks in the adoration of fans from two generations.]

Frank Salazar : "Entering the ring, hailing from Seattle, Washington. At 6'4" and 260 pounds, he is The Main Attraction ... DEATH TRAP!"

"Cuz there's only one ... of me. And too many of you, fighting over nothing. There's never enough cool for everyone and before you know it you're selling out to be in."

[He unzips the hoodie and tosses it into the crowd and starts marching to the ring. He air fist bumps the fans along the walkway (Covid ya know). He rolls into the ring and climbs the far corner and poses as gold pyro showers down from the overhead area. He leaps down but before he can ditch his shirt, hat, and shades The Don is all the way in his face and the referee is quick to call for the bell!*]

DING! DING! DING!

Eric Dane: You notice he didn’t come anywhere near this side of the ring, right?

Jeremy Tucker: And you think DT’s the one that’s full of himself…?

Eric Dane: If the shoe fits, you must acquit!

Andrew Fulton: That’s right! Pay attention Jerry!

[Canelli charges, trying to use her speed to catch the bigger Death Trap off guard before he can put his size and power to use! DT is quicker than he looks, though, and he intercepts Joanne even before she can execute. He turns and plants Canelli ass first down on the top turnbuckle, where he winks at her and reaches up and plops his hat right on her head. It’s too big, so it covers her eyes.]

Eric Dane: How disrespectful to the Don!

Jeremy Tucker: No more disrespectful than dressing up like an EMT and costing him the match with Armand last week!

Eric Dane: Aren’t the “good guys” supposed to do better?

[Canelli takes the hat and throws it to the floor as she screeches, enraged, and throws a knee at Death Trap’s face from her perch on the turnbuckle.]

Andrew Fulton: WHAT A STRAIGHT KNEE TO THE NUGGET!

[DT staggers backward and Canelli goes on the offensive, leaping and grabbing him by the head then using every ounce of her weight to twist around into a tornado ddt that flattens Death Trap right in the center of the ring. Canelli wastes no time going for the cover.

Jeremy Tucker: Canelli’s looking for a quick one!

1…

2……

[DT kicks out powerfully, sending the smaller Joanne flying upward high enough that she lands on both feet, standing above DT’s head.]

Dane: Stomp! NO! COME ON GET ON HIM!

Andrew Fulton: Yeah!

Jeremy Tucker: Biased, much?

[DT rolled out of the way but Canelli was lightning fast, following up with a step-up yakuza kick just as DT got up on one knee!]

Eric Dane: Well that rocked him!

Jeremy Tucker: Death Trap is reeling!

Andrew Fulton: Finish him off! Come on Canelli! Put him out of his misery once and for all!

[Canelli grabs DT before he finds his balance and hooks a leg around Trap’s arm, positions herself just right then spins with everything she’s got, Rolling the Dice with DT’s head bouncing off the mat!

Jeremy Tucker: ROLL THE DICE! COVER BY THE DON!

Eric Dane: ONE! TWO!! THR-

[But he kicks out again, this time with less gusto.]

Andrew Fulton: BOO!

Eric Dane: Death Trap is out of it! Look at his eyes! The lights are on but ain’t nobody home!

[Canelli slaps the mat in frustration and glares at the referee, daring him to fail to deliver her a three count again. He waves off the pinfall but The Don’s gaze lingers on him for a moment before turning her attention back on Death Trap.]

Jeremy Tucker: The Don is back on the move, and it looks like she’s trying to get him up onto her shoulders, I think she might be going for the Bulls Eye, a fireman’s carry into a knee strike, but that’s a lot of weight for her to get up there.

Andrew Fulton: It’s almost like Canelli’s going for a hit on Death Trap!

Eric Dane: Yeah, or, it’s more like the KGB’s got access to Death Trap’s medical history and she’s got a Game Plan based on all those concussions that the big guy’s had over the years!

[Canelli does get DT up onto her shoulders, but his weight isn’t quite balanced. As she tries to adjust his position…]

Jeremy Tucker: DT slips loose! Knee to the ribs by Canelli, looking for a suplex, NO! DT just deadlifts her for his own suplex! Wait, no, he isn’t, he just deadlifted her into a standing guillotine choke! What a counter!

Andrew Fulton: That’s gotta be illegal somehow!

Eric Dane: Where’s the referee! He should be fired! Defrocked! Desmocked? Blacklisted! That’s the ticket! Come on Joanne, don’t give this ape the satisfaction!

Jeremy Tucker: But how long can Canelli hold out against such a hold?

[Canelli sticks her arms out and stiffens her fingers before repeatedly jabbing DT in the ribs.]

Jeremy Tucker: Joanne Canelli using those quasi-legal finger thrusts right between the ribs and into the kidney area of DT! And she drops him. Canelli now with two hands full of hair and…

THUNK!

Eric Dane: Ha!

Jeremy Tucker: WHAT a headbutt, straight between the eyes! DT’s staggering, BUT HE THROWS A HIGH ROUNDHOUSE!

[The kick lands flush and Canelli spins a half circle away from DT before going face down to the mat. DT, for his part, takes another staggering step backwards and falls.]

Eric Dane: What in all of the fuck? That was a terrible roundhouse, she should’ve seen that one coming from a mile away! He didn’t even snap his hips!

[The boo birds in the crowd start for seemingly no reason, but heads turn and the boos get louder as none other than Frostbite and Armand Von Krause make their way down to the ringside, each man ready to make a statement!]

Jeremy Tucker: What’s going on? What’ve you and the KGB got planned here Dane?

Eric Dane: Don’t look at me, I’ve been off the clock since putting that schlub Rayzor’s dick in the dirt a few minutes ago, I don’t know shit about shit!

[Frostbite goes left, Von Krause goes right. Von Krause adjusts the cufflinks on his suit.]

Jeremy Tucker: I do not know what is going on here…

KEEEEEEEEERAAAAAAAAAACK!!!

[Armand crumples into a pile on the floor, the last thing he’ll remember seeing is Isabelle Rios standing over him with a dented steel chair and a $2,000,000 smile on her face!]

Eric Dane: Yeouch! That looked like it sucked!

[Frostbite heard the commotion and turned on a dime, now he’s charging at Rios and he reaches out to decapitate her with a clothesline but she’s much smaller and much quicker and she ducks out of the way, lines Frostbite up as he turns and pastes him right upside the head with that very same chair that took out Von Krouse!]

Andrew Fulton: WHAT?! NO!

Jeremy Tucker: Isabelle Rios, the No Man’s Land winner has just taken out the trash!

Eric Dane: Oof.

Andrew Fulton: I’m gonna tell them you said that!

Eric Dane: He’ll do it, too!

[Back inside the ring Joanne Canelli has gotten to her feet as this entire display has played out in front of her. She screams a few choice obscenities down at Rios before the also recovered Death Trap grabs her and spins, looping an arm around her head and grabbing the opposite leg before lifting The Don up and dropping her down flush on the head.

Jeremy Tucker: THE MAIN ATTRACTIOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!

[The referee is in perfect position as Death Trap rolls Canelli over and makes the lateral press. It’s all academic at this point…]

1...

Andrew Fulton: NO!

2…...

Eric Dane: Goodnight, sweet princess...

3!!!

Jeremy Tucker: He got her!

[The referee calls for the bell.]

DING! DING! DING!

Frank Salazar: YOUR WINNER IS DEEEEEEATH TRAAAAAAAAAAP!!!

[DT’s music plays again and he stands, throws an arm in the air and charges the turnbuckle closest to the Commentary Position where he climbs up, throws a big thumbs up at the crowd and winks down at Eric Dane, mockingly blowing The Only Star a kiss.]

Eric Dane: THAT MOTHERF-

[He drops the headphones and stands up, spewing a mass of obscenities up at the victorious Death Trap!]

Andrew Fulton: HE CHEATED! INTERFERENCE! HANDFUL OF TIGHTS!

Jeremy Tucker: You’ve got to pull your head out of the KGB’s ass, my guy. HUGE win to Death Trap. Isabel Rios with the assist after the Joanne Canelli last show hijcacked her presentation ceremony AND Death Traps stretcher steel cage match.

[DT nods to Rios and she smiles and hoists the chair in the air. Dane backs his way around the ring, cursing the entire way, and finally makes it back to where Frostbite and Armand have barely made it to their feet. Armand seems to be gesturing broadly and demanding to know why Dane didn’t do something, anything at all. Dane ignored Von Krauss as the three of them backed up the ramp while Death Trap posed for the crowd and even had his hat returned by the fan who’d grabbed it earlier in the match after Canelli tossed it away.]

[edwarddubin0604]

(Team Fairtex is watching the Frostbite promo crying while holding their barbecue pork ribs as Warren W. Webber comes up to them bewildered at them crying.)

Warren W. Webber: "Why are you weeping."

Tong Fairtex: "It's these barbecue pork rib sandwiches."

Warren W. Webber: "How can barbecue pork rib sandwiches make you cry."

Tong Fairtex: "The onions are so powerful that they made us cry."

Phantam Fairtex: "Yeah they make soap operas look wimpy. They even make romance movies look wimpy."

Warren W. Webber: "So Frostbite didn't do that because he set Texas Pete on fire."

Tong Fairtex: "Why should we feel sorry for that pathetic jobber. Now these great pork rib sandwiches from Texas Tim's BBQ Restaurants based in Big D makes the best BBQ burgers, pork rib sandwiches and steaks in all of Texas."

(They take a bite of their pork rib sandwiches.)

Warren W. Webber: "As I was asking before....."

Phantam Fairtex: "MMMMMMM.....Shew guuud this puuurk rev samich is sooo good it stiggs to your bones."

(They take a drink of their soft drinks.)

Tong Fairtex: "Like my brother was saying.....MMMMMMMM......So good this pork rib sandwich is so good it sticks to your bones."

Warren W.Webber: "Now about your SWAT World Tag Team Championship Match with Frostbite and Armand von Krauss."

Tong Fairtex: "Yeah we know Armand von Klown act and Frosty Fritz the Firebug thought they were supposed to have the night off. They think we were going to be their night off but let's look at the facts shall we. Armand's been in as many title defenses as The Indian Assassins have victories in tag team matches."

Phantam Fairtex: "Yeah Armand's been in more singles matches than tag matches meanwhile we had more tag matches than those two but tonight we get a chance to regain what we never truly lost compliments to those two assholes from The Society of The New Breed."

Warren W. Webber: "Frostbite has vowed to burn you two like he did Jeremy Tucker's car and Texas Pete."

Tong Fairtex: "You see that's what happens when you talk to cellphones with championship belt images on the screen. You start acting like Randy Orton and the next thing you know it your ring entrance music and you'll be entering ringside playing his music. Now Frostbite you should be happily married to those tag team straps and not cheat on them."

Phantam Fairtex: "Unless Frostbite was caught cheating on the tag team championships and they want a divorce. I can see the divorce lawyers and judge arguing over child support and who's going to be giving gold to the other."

Warren W. Webber: "I guess you heard the rumors that someone's been calling you out for the tag teamchampionships."

Tong Fairtex: "Excuse me Warren but what the fuck are you talking about."

Warren W. Webber: "Someone's been calling you out to put the tag team championships on the line."

Tong Fairtex: "Okay stop right there Warren. Do we have the SWAT World Tag Team Championships around our waists."

Warren W. Webber: "No."

Phantam Fairtex: "Now we ask you are we going to be the ones who will be introduced as the tag team champions tonight."

Warren W. Webber: "No Armand von Krauss and Frostbite."

Tong Fairtex: "So who are the idiots who are calling us out."

Warren W. Webber: "I just heard it and don't know who it is."

Tong Fairtex: "Okay you must be lying because you heard a rumor but don't know who's spreading the rumors."

Phantam Fairtex: "Now we know he's lying. Now you know what we do to liars and we shall really show why liars never prosper."

(The Hired Killers appear and grab Warren W. Webber by the arms.)

Jade: "You got the money and we got the time and our husbands have plenty of time."

Kim: "Just tell them the truth and we'll let you go."

Phantam Fairtex: "Now you can do as they ask or they can get it out of you in the most painful way."

Tong Fairtex: "I'd cooperate if I were you."

Warren W. Webber: "I'm telling you the truth."

(Team Fairtex sigh and motion The Hired Killers to let him go.)

Tong Fairtex: "For now we believe you, but you had better be telling the truth or much worse shall be happening to you."

Phantam Fairtex: "You know let's do something about it by burning the champions real bad and then crush Frostbite's girlfriend and put the heat on Frostbite enough to melt. Then we can at least give him the reputation of being 'The Warm Hearted Bastard."

Tong Fairtex: "Let's go."

Phantam Fairtex: "Let's go bro."

Warren W. Webber: "What about your sandwiches."

Tong Fairtex: "Let's eat them along the way."

(They take their drinks and the sandwiches and leave.)

Warren W. Webber: "Well that was interesting. Back to you."

(The scene slowly fades to black.)

[SWAT Team]

Frank Salazar : The following contest is for the SWAT AMAZONS CHAMPIONSHIP and is scheduled for ONE fall. Introducing first, the challenger. She hails from Memphis Tennessee. Coming in at 5’6 & 130 lbs …. DANGEROUS DONNA FLEMING!!!!

Dangerous by Roxette hits and Donna makes her way out to the ring, pausing and posing on the rampway, then saunters down and sexily enters the ring, hovering between the ropes before entering and looking down on the fans in contempt.

Frank Salazar : And now introducing the champion, she hails from Miami Beach Florida. Comes in at 5’6 & 149 lbs …. KID DYNAMITE! NICOLE ANDERSON!!!!

"Lights Out" by Hollywood Undead hits and the champ makes her way down to the ring high fiving and engaging with the fans. She slides in the ring and poses with the belt held high in the air asshe straddles the ropes …..

Jeremy Tucker : Dangerous Donna waylays Nicole from behind! Nicole was posing for the fans and Donna just charged her with a double ax handle that sent Anderson toppling over the ropes to the outside floor.

Andrew Fulton : No time for posing here Jerry! Donna means business.

Jeremy Tucker : Donna slides out of the ring and grabs Nicole and rams her head into the ring apron, then rolls her into the ring and slides in on top making a cover for a 1 count and Nicole kicks out with ease.

Andrew Fulton : Donna glares at the ref and then Nicole pushes her off her and gets back to a vertical base. Donna goes for a big slap but Nicole blocks it and chops the chest of Donna and the crowd explode in Woooo’s.

Jeremy Tucker : Donna is begging off now as Nicole approaches her but Anderson shows no mercy and keeps moving in for the kill but Donna gets a finger in the eye and Nicole is stunned momentarily blinded. Donna seizes the advantage and delivers a scoop slam and then a side Russian leg sweep.

Andrew Fulton : Donna is aggressive Jerry. Look at the fire in her.

Jeremy Tucker : I wonder if she was as aggressive with Oxford Osland in the Commiss’ office last week?

Andrew Fulton : You shouldn’t go there Jerry. That was just a big misunderstanding.

Jeremy Tucker : Misunderstanding? She tried to seduce a title shot out of Valentine but gave it up to the wrong bloke!

Andrew Fulton : Like I said, a misunderstanding, and she got the title shot anyway, so all’s well that ends well.

Jeremy Tucker : It may not end so well for Jonnie Valentine, after putting that poll up and the corresponding video, HR has a bullseye on him.

Andrew Fulton : HR! What do they know, this is wrestling! HR has no place in wrestling!

Jeremy Tucker : Shot gun drop kick from Anderson! That rocked Donna.

Andrew Fulton : Anderson follows up and mounts the top rope and catches Donna with a flying body press off the top.

Jeremy Tucker : She covers for a two count, but Donna rolls the shoulder. Anderson is bringing it.

Andrew Fulton : Donna sweeps the legs of Nicole and locks on a Boston Crab, stretching her. I think she may have this.

Jeremy Tucker : Nicole is refusing to submit, and inching to the ropes, Donna is screaming at her to tap. That voice, she is screeching.

Andrew Fulton : Imagine hearing that in the sheets at 2am.

Jeremy Tucker : You are too much. Nicole finally gets to the ropes, what determination. Donna breaks the hold and drops a knee into the small of the back of Nicole. Then a pump handle suplex by Donna.

Andrew Fulton : She can go Jerry. Donna is the real deal.

Jeremy Tucker : Donna throws Anderson to the ropes and goes for a clothesline but Kid Dynamite ducks it, bounces off the opposite ropes and delivers a running scissor kick! Kid Dynamite is the real deal!

Andrew Fulton : Come on Donna!

Jeremy Tucker : Anderson whips Donna hard into the turnbuckle and follows her in and Running double knee in the corner!!!! That was reckless, she threw her entire weight into it, car crash style!

Andrew Fulton : That was a vicious blow!

Jeremy Tucker : Donna is down and Anderson is heading to the top, feeling it. She signals its over and comes down and HITS IT! THE DOUBLE STOMP! From the top rope. Donna makes the cover.

One ………………

Two …………………

THREE!!!!

She got it! Kid Dynamite retains!

Andrew Fulton : Big victory that, she is the real deal!

Jeremy Tucker : Great debut also by Donna, she may have got this opportunity via unorthodox means, but she has shown she belongs on this stage.

Frank Salazar : Winner of the match by pinfall, and still AMAZONS CHAMPION, KID DYNAMITE! NICOLE ANDERSON!!!

[Jonnie Valentine]

You are watching The Blessed Be Network. At 5:00 it's Undercover Pastor, where men of cloth wear a funny wig and a loosely fitted mustache to see what their flock really thinks about their shepherd. Then at 7:00, it's Christian Comedy 12 Minutes Or So, where the top Christian comedians in the country are finally free to do their full sets. It's so funny, it's a sin! Not really, though. It's fine. Then at 8:00, TBB reporter Chet Showalter introduces you to the Unitarians as he continues his award winning series, "Things That Are Not A Thing". But coming up next is Comfort From the Storm, with The Reverend Cornelius Marsh. 

(Whimsical organ music plays as the camera fades to Reverend Cornelius Marsh seated at a talk show desk. Seated to his right is a pink haired middle aged woman petting her white pekingese dog. Marsh has his hair slicked back and a honey sweet Southern voice)

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: Hello friends, and welcome to Comfort from the Storm. I am the Reverend Cornelius Marsh and with me as always, to the point of insanity, is Nancy. 

Nancy: (waves with both hands) Hey ya'll! Rev, I got one of them Bobo teas, from the Chinese folks at the mall, and I just don't like em. Stuff floatin at the bottom of my drink... (looks at the camera) That ain't a drink, that's cereal! 

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: Thank you for that Nancy, your stories are always so...numerous. These are happy times here at the ministry...

Nancy: Happy like that time when you was on trial and the accountant's testimony got tossed out on a technicality? 

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: (slaps the table) THE MAN WAS LYIN, NANCY!! Those were all completely legitimate expenditures!!

Nancy: (wistfully) I miss the island though. I had a monkey named Ramon. I would feed him Starburst. He used to get so crazy for those things. Soon he was wearin funny little disguises to get more. But I always knew it was Ramon cause he smelled like lemon Pledge. Then he died of somethin or other...

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: It's happy times because The Hellhounds get to spill the blood of someone the likes of Edward D. You know Brother Ed, all of the non-believers deserve the wrath of God's vengeance. (squeezes his fingers together) But you deserve it just a little bit more, don't you brother? You see the Hellhounds have punished so many souls for their misdeeds that it's almost become banal at this point, wouldn't you say? There are times when they send a fork through someone's eye, or put their head through a monitor, I can tell that their black little hearts are not in it. 

Nancy: That makes me sad, Rev. (covers the dog's ears) It makes Chloe sad too. 

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: And while that troubles me greatly Nancy, I do have some glorious news. For when it comes to the dastardly Brother Edward, they'll do this for free. 

Nancy: But Rev, your attorney's fees!!

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: (slaps the table) OBVIOUSLY I'M JOKING, NANCY!! God! Learn to take a joke! (smooths his hair, tries to calm down) Now Brother Edward, he likes jokes. Jokes like his cup of coffee in tag team wrestling is even in the same galaxy as what The Hellhounds do, whenever they feel like it. The States, Canada, Germany, Japan and Australia, The Hellhounds have ripped tag team titles away from whoever they please and kept them until the promoter strips them for leaving the territory. 

Nancy: I don't get that joke. Like that new show Blossom is on, Call Me Kat? Why she keep talking to the camera? Are they on break? Am I the only one seeing this? (gets scared) Is Blossom talking to me? 

Reverend Cornelius Marsh: Dang it, Blossom ain't talking to you, Nancy! Brother Edward, this isn't about Rally Jackson, Texans, or that ill conceived baseball bat shot in Manchester. You've had this coming for a long time. When the boos are gone, and you're lying in your hotel bed, with nothing but the loud air conditioner to keep you company, you have thought about this. You knew retribution was coming for every short cut, double cross, and swerve you've pulled. This is necessary, Edward. The Hellhounds will cleanse you of your sins...

Nancy: And make you new again!

Reverend Cornelius Marsh:  Oh no, Nancy. I'm very sorry. He's going to be in alot of pain for the rest of his life. When that CTE won't let you find your keys in your late 40s, you'll have Cerberus to thank for that. When you have to swallow some pills to get out of bed in the morning, you can thank Psycho for that. But for all your punishment and suffering you are about to endure for the trespasses you have made on others, you have only yourself to thank for that. Brother Edward. 

(Organ music plays as the camera pulls back from Cornelius Marsh and Nancy)

This has been Comfort From The Storm. Coming up, the Stryper Reunion Concert! 

[SWAT Team]

[Rip it Up by 28 Days hits as we switch back to the ring, there is a couch and a coffee table and the set of Suit's Suite is in the ring. Mad Dog Paul Soutter makes his way down to the ring, high fiving the fans, no selling social distancing.]

[On the SWAT tron we see doctored footage of Tom Cruise jumping up and down on the couch imposed in the ring. Then more doctored footage showing Rick James/Dave Chappelle on his back stamping his feet on the couch. FUCK_ YO_ COUCH. Now a shot of Heidi giving Suit a lap dance on the couch on the SWAT tron.]

Soutter : WELCOME TO SUITS SUITE!!!

What’s up Texas?

[Cheap pop.]

Tonight, I meet in the middle of the ring, The Paragon of Sleaze. Mr Keith Williams.

Keith. You have been ultra impressive since your arrival here at Helloween.

You messed with Linda, and I watched on with a keen interest. She is a big girl and can look after herself. You prevailed against her and showed the whole of SWAT what you can do, and all took notice.

That wasn’t enough for you though, was it Keith?

You had to cross the line and disrespect me, to my face!

We collided at the Rumble and it was wonderful to get my hands on you. That was just a taste though, now tonight, we meet one on one! Your Universal Sin Championship on the line! I will win that belt and rename it something dignified, that represents the true Tradition and foundation of SWAT.

Tonight Williams, you meet in the ring The Mad Dog!

The Master of the Powerslam!

The Big Bad Bustling Bandit!

The Centre of Attention!

The Suit!

Paulie Mutha F’ing Soutter!

I got the Skill to Thrill!

The Name to Entertain!

I’m Loud and Proud and Well Endowed!

I’m about to beat the ever loving snot out of a sleaze bag turkey and get me some gold in the process and I like it like that!

[Suit turns up to the ramp though.]

But, that’s later, right now, we got us a guest to appear on the Suite. This guest is making waves everywhere he goes. He is the talk of the wrestling world. He is someone I have a personal interest in joining us out here tonight after last weeks phone fiasco.

He is the SWAT WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION! The Golden God! RALLY JACKSON!

Hate or Glory" by Gesaffelstein hits and Rally Jackson makes his way down the ramp way. He wears the World Belt over his shoulder and joins Soutter on the Suite, looking very relaxed.

Soutter : Welcome to the Suite Rally. Thanks for joining us here tonight.

Rally : Us? (Rally looks around) What us? I see only you. And, that is World Champion Rally Jackson thank you.

Soutter : Us … is all of US! (Suit shows all the crowd to Rally with his arm waving.) Mr World Champion.

Rally : That’s better. It’s about time you got some class on this show, last week with ‘Nothing but a B Grade Commissioner’ Jonnie Valentine was a new low for interview segments. Surely he can just read out the card to us for the next show from the back with one of the bimbo’s holding the mic for him?

Soutter : He is in enough trouble I believe after that poll. And all them Anti SWAT Twitter trolls.

Rally : ‘Trouble is his middle name’ Jonnie Valentine may be in hot water, but this Suite isn’t about his screw ups. It’s about mine.

Soutter : So it is. And speaking of. Last week, there seemed to be a rib at my expense on my phone, and I distinctly remember seeing you in the area. You know anything about this?

Rally : Well, maybe I do and maybe I don’t? Maybe I need a lawyer up here with me?

Soutter : I don’t think so. We are big boys. (Both look at each others over 300 pound girth.) We can sort it out like men.

Rally : OK. You know what. Yeah. It was me.

Soutter : Why would you mess with someone’s relationship like that?

Rally : For kicks. We have known each other for many years now, and to see you fawning over her and now running to fight Keith Williams, frankly, it amuses me to see what you have become. I would think the old Paul would be the first one down for motel rooms with hookers and spa’s and rats.

Soutter : Them days are long gone man. We are old men now.

Rally : Speak for yourself.

Soutter : Well. It doesn’t really matter to me why. You have clearly crossed the line man, there is only one way for us to settle this. Next week. You and I in the ring.

Rally : You want to fight for THIS? (he shows off his belt)

Soutter : IF you still have it after Goth. If not, we can fight for the gold I take from Keith.

Rally : If? After GOTH? (Rally starts laughing) Don’t be stealing my gimmick, I’m the Comedian here Jack!

Soutter : What’s with that?

Rally : I’ll tell you. This ‘wrestling thing’, it sorta bores me. Sure these clowns chased me down and threw all this money at me to come back, but that’s not enough. I need more. So, I amuse myself at the expense of these rookies.

Soutter : You really think that is fair?

Rally : Fair? Its not about fairness. It’s about Tradition! That’s the name of the fed right? It’s a time honoured tradition in this world to make the new guys pay their dues and work their way up.

Soutter: Them days are long gone. Can’t you see your alienating yourself from the entire fed? Poor Rajiv is scarred for life. Radu and Combatiente have left the company.

Rally : (scoffs) So much for bleeding for SWAT. They want to ‘rib the ribber’? Look what happened. Radu thought he could ride off into the sunset having a joke at MY expense with that dumb banana peel? That’s not humor. I showed him though, I rammed that peel into the mask of that former weakling champion and choked him out and he then packed his bags and ran off never to return, his ‘Network chums’ handing him boxes of tissues for his ‘ordeal’.

Soutter: He never cried about it. He just didn’t have time any more.

Rally : If you say so. All I know is I whooped him and choked him out and then he left.

Soutter: And what’s with targeting Linda?

Rally : She’s Radu’s tag team partner. Guilty by Association. He wants to mess with me and high tail it out of here? I know his weakness. He came at me to begin with because he wanted to stand up for them weaklings. So, I will take it out on them!

Soutter: Well, he may not be here anymore …. BUT I AM! And you brought me into this messing with my phone! Your damn lucky Lucky Linda didn’t take that belt last week, but next week, YOU’RE MINE!

Rally : Please. You ain’t got it no more. Soft, that’s what you are now, a puppy dog chasing her around on a leash, well, if you want to try your luck I wont be hard to find. I’ll be the one with the big gold belt.

[Rally stands up and feints a lunge at Suit but Suit doesn’t flinch and they stare at each other for a long moment before Rally leaves the ring. Soutter glaring after him as we fade.]

[Deleted]

Down at ringside, SWAT’s signature commentary team is seated at their post ready as always. Sensing the camera on them, Jeremy Tucker takes the lead.

Jeremy Tucker: Well folks, I’m told we have an update on a situation from earlier tonight regarding a cowardly attack by one of Armand Von Krauss’ goons against our Television Champion, Pequeno Dinosaurio.

Andrew Fulton: You said that earlier but I’m gonna correct you this time Tucker. ‘Goon’ is such an ugly word, I believe Armand prefers ‘trusted associate’. While I’m at it, what’s with this ‘cowardly’ shit? It’s getting so a guy can’t Tonya Harding the competition anymore.

Jeremy Tucker: ‘Tonya Harding the competition’? I suppose you find this funny?

Andrew Fulton: Only a little. Look, this is what’s supposed to happen when you mess with another man’s wife.

Jeremy Tucker: We obviously disagree on this one so let’s send it to our backstage cameraman.

Cold brick and painted concrete surround the SWAT ringside physician Dr. Acula as he watches on. Accompanied by the company’s Head Trainer, Matt Teet, they are both busy assessing the condition of the reigning Television Champion following his run in with a KGB enforcer.

“Ok, I’d like you bend your knee.” Matt offers as an initial test.

Sucking air through his teeth, Pequeno Dinosaurio does as the trainer asks, he was desperate to not have this decision made for him. Holding the position for a few moments, two things are immediately clear. One; he’s in discomfort, and two; he’s stubborn.

Jeremy Tucker: That doesn’t look good Fulton. Gabriel Tuck really did a number on Dinosaurio.

Andrew Fulton: Tuck did his job, just like I’m doing mine right now. I can’t believe you think Dino boy is innocent!

Jeremy Tucker: I think he’s innocent because he is! All he is guilty of is talking to a woman who clearly followed him!

The pale skinned and salt and pepper haired doctor was up. “Young man, your bravado is appreciated but unnecessary. My official medical opinion is that you shouldn’t compete tonight.”

Andrew Fulton: And there you have it folks, your new SWAT Television Champion, Oxford Osland!

Jeremy Tucker: Not so fast, surely we can get a reschedule or something?

Andrew Fulton: reschedule? Since when in the history of ever has a champion been allowed a do over? He can’t defend, he forfeits! New champ!

Before Dinosaurio can offer protest, the tell tale click of heels on concrete heralds the arrival of his agent Vanessa, followed closely by tonight’s successful debutant, Union Jack.

“You alright mate? Which KGB asshole needs a pounding?” Pausing a moment as the awkwardness of his wording catches up to him. “You know bloody well what I mean! What prick did this to you?” Sounding like a concerned older brother, the Brit was beside himself.

Vanessa looked at him with concern etched on her face. “Doctor? How bad is it?” She asked not wanting to know.

“Worse than he’s letting on, but without a proper MRI, I can’t say for sure. For now we’re getting ice and heat on it, alternating…”

Annoyed at being talked about and not to, Pequeno Dinosaurio sighed. “I’m fine. Let’s get back to the locker room, I have a match to get ready for. I’ll take the ice packs and keep it up until I go out there but I have to go out there!”

“This could severely shorten your career, think of the long term M…Dinosaurio.” Catching herself, she almost used his real name. He would have never forgiven her.

Looking down at him sternly, the doctor added. “You’d do well to listen to your wife young man.”

Barely an instant passed before both corrected him practically in unison. “We’re not…” before trailing off to silence, it wasn’t important right now.

“I’m so sorry. I just…I assumed. My apologies.” The Doctor replied, stuttering, silently cursing himself for being so forward.

“Jack, talk him out of this!” She batted her big brown eyes at him, hoping he’d do it for the sake of his friend if not her.

Sighing, Union Jack’s hand go to his hips and his posture becomes rigid, his tone far too serious for a man dressed as a shiny bear. “Mate, one question. What would your old man do?”

There was a pause, his friend knew him too well. It was the only question that truly needed asking. “He’d crawl out there if he had to…” Anything the young dinosaur had to add to that was lost to a grimace as he stood up to look his friend in the eye. Nothing more needed to be said.

The sparkly blue clad man-bear shrugged, “Bollocks…he’d crawl huh?” Turning to Vanessa briefly. “There’s no stopping him ‘nessa. Honour and whatnot, it’s a luchador thing, you wouldn’t get it.” Turning his attention back to his friend, he avoided the eye roll she’d given his comment, adding.. “Alright lad, let’s get you up. Doc, we’ll take two ice packs and a heating pad to go. Go on, this crazy bastard isn’t going to limp his way back to the dressing room alone. Chop chop.”

Gathering the requested items, the doctor and trainer clearly aren’t happy with their patient’s choice. Teet begins the protests. “I really think you should reconsider. If it’s that important to you, petition for a rematch but if you won’t listen to me, perhaps the only one in here with a medical license can convince you.”

Passing the proverbial ‘ball’ to the good doctor, Matt implores him to back him up. “Medically speaking it’s likely you have a strained ligament. I’d recommend rest, anti inflammatories, alternate heat and cold and I’d schedule an MRI as soon as possible.” The matter of fact tome used by the doctor left nothing to the imagination. It could be very serious, it could be practically nothing. The difference might be very well in how their patient treated it.

But there was only one answer, the only path he’d ever been shown. “Gracias doc, but I have to do this. I’ll be back for that MRI, until then, I just need to be careful.” Completing the understatement of his young life, Pequeno Dinosaurio is helped away by Union Jack as Vanessa grabs the supplies from the medical and training staff.

“I think you should reconsider, but if you’re dead set on shortening your career. Here, some anti inflammatories. Naproxen specifically. Take it now and I’ll see you after the match.” The Doctor offered in parting.

Jeremy Tucker: Looks like Dinosaurio is going to defend his title after all, against doctor’s orders!

Andrew Fulton: Some pills and an ice pack from a quack doc like Acula, some champion. Kids don’t do drugs like Dino boy there.

Jeremy Tucker: I’ve seen you do harder drugs at a show after party Drew, calm down. I think this is brave but stupid of the champion but if anyone can pull it off, it’s Pequeno Dinosaurio! This kid is going to do great things.

Andrew Fulton: If he survives tonight maybe. Oxford Osland didn’t get a name like “Unbelievable” by being a slouch. He knows the champion is hurt and I expect him to take full advantage.

Jeremy Tucker: Maybe so, but we’ll find out later tonight on a night packed full of SWAT action…here on Battleground!

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: Well here is another match made by our Commissioner Jonnie Valentine last show.

Andrew Fulton: Excuse me but Armand is the Commish, Jonnie just doesn’t get it. Eddie is gonna clean up these guys.

[The Reverend Cornelius Marsh leads The Hellhounds down to the ring by chains attached to dog collars. The Hellhounds wear hockey masks, have dirty dreadlocks, and their clothes are blood stained from previous matches; tattered and torn.]

Frank Salazar: Entering the ring first, at a combined weight of 575 pounds from the Land of Filth and Honey … Cerberus and Psycho … THE HELLHOUNDS!

Jeremy Tucker: These guys are a dominant force in every tag team division they show up in. Just ask the guys over in Japan in J-ROK.

“Cave” by Muse blares and Eddie D walks out with a black and white montage video playing on the screens of him weight training and hitting his favorite moves on people, flashing up in negative to the beat of the music.

He regularly threatens rude fans, tears up opponents fan posters on his way to the ring, has vicious one liner for an "ugly" fan, he walks confidently and slowly to the ring. Raises his hands to accept the praise he feels he is due, but the crowd erupt in a chorus of boos and jeers.

Frank Salazar: Introducing now, hailing from Vernon, California, USA. Coming in at 6’ and 303 pounds and representing the KGB .... THE BIG DEAL .... EDDIE D!!!

Andrew Fulton: Now Tucker, you will see the future World Champion kick these losers’ butts!

[DING DING DING!]

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie wastes little time trying to neutralize the advantage by barreling over Psycho with a huge shoulder block and then grabbing Cerberus and hurling him to the ropes.

Andrew Fulton: Eddie hits a back body drop sending Cerberus onto Psycho! Beautiful Jerry. Beautiful. And now the belly to belly slam on Cerberus.

Jeremy Tucker: Psycho has rolled to his feet and catches Eddie with a flurry of overhand shots to the back of the neck. Eddie responding with a huge beal toss!

Andrew Fulton: Psycho better watch out in that corner as he stands up and … OH what a body avalanche from Eddie who is just steamrolling these guys.

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie needs to look out! Cerberus comes from behind and hits an axe bomber to the back of the head. Eddie rolls out of the ring here looking to stay out of the line of fire.

[Eddie shakes it out and then taunts Cerberus to follow. Cerberus refuses … and points to the side.]

Jeremy Tucker: Oh my, Psycho just spring boarded over the ropes with a cross body. Eddie has rolled through however.

Andrew Fulton: What a show of strength as he stands up with Psycho in his grip for a front slam.

Jeremy Tucker: OH NO! Cerberus had followed and just cleaned out Eddie’s clock with a running big boot. Eddie collapses to the floor with Psycho landing on top. Cerberus walks to the crowd as Psycho slides into the ring.

Andrew Fulton: Good on the ref getting in Psycho’s way and keeping him from more double teaming. Wait … ref turn around!

[CRACK!]

Jeremy Tucker: Where did Cerberus get that hockey stick! It just exploded over the thick back of Eddie D.

Andrew Fulton: REF DISQUALIFY THEM! Look there’s a trickle of blood.

Jeremy Tucker: Psycho pushes by the ref and slides out of the ring and Cerberus has Eddie into a fireman’s carry. He is straining but completes the airplane spin and OH into a neckbreaker from Psycho!

Andrew Fulton: The ref needs to get control as he tries to get these mutants into the ring.

[Cerberus laughs as he riles up the favorable crowd. As Psycho grabs Eddie, Eddie lashes out with a headbutt to the chest like a battering ram.]

Jeremy Tucker: Oh a counter from Eddie! The number one contender is still in this.

Andrew Fulton: Eddie hooks his head under the arm of Psycho and charges ramming him into the ringpost. He then uses all his might to whip him at Cerberus. Cerberus catches his partner and redirects him back somehow!

Jeremy Tucker: Oh but Eddie dropped the low bridge and Psycho just clotheslined the ring post! And now Eddie has him and swings him up into the ring and rolls in to avoid a charging Cerberus.

Andrew Fulton: What a smart move by Eddie! The D is for dominance.

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie sprints off the ropes as Cerberus climbs to the apron he is hit with a massive shoulder tackle off the apron! He tumbles to the floor.

Andrew Fulton: Stay on them Eddie! Look at him drop the leg on Psycho.

ONE!
TWO!
Psycho kicks out.

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie laying the boots to the smaller man. He picks him up and goes for a suplex. But Cerberus is on the apron! He catches Psycho and places him on the ropes for a thunderous Psychosault!

Andrew Fulton: Kick Out Eddie!

ONE!
Eddie shoves him off.

Jeremy Tucker: Psycho leaps right back into a pin and Cerberus leans on top of him!

ONE!

TWO!

THRE-Eddie somehow manages to force his shoulder up.

Jeremy Tucker: Cerberus lifting Eddie up and sends him to the ropes. Psycho with the clothesline from home!

Andrew Fulton: NO! Eddie dodged it and speared Cerberus!

Jeremy Tucker: But Psycho kept running and OH! He connects with THAT clothesline from home!

Andrew Fulton: Eddie and Cerberus both trying to get up. Psycho is just sending fists to Eddie as he tries to stand. OH what a pop up powerslam from Eddie to Psycho!

Jeremy Tucker: But Cerberus taking advantage with a huge leg drop to the face of Eddie. Cerberus pulls him to his feet.

Andrew Fulton: HEADACHE FROM HELL! (Stunner) Eddie got all of it!

Jeremy Tucker: But now all three men are down.

[The ref counts. As he gets to four Eddie and Psycho stir. Eddie is to his feet at 6 as Psycho is close behind. Cerberus is slow to move]

Jeremy Tucker: Now Eddie laying heavy axe handles to Psycho who is retaliating with chops. Cerberus slowly coming to behind Eddie. Eddie spins Psycho for a full nelson bomb but is struck with a hockey mask headbutt from Cerberus to the back of the head!

Andrew Fulton: And now he is rolled up by Psycho.

ONE!

TWO!

Eddie rolls it through and escapes.

Andrew Fulton: WOO! Go Eddie!

Jeremy Tucker: The number one contender is holding his own but for how long?

Andrew Fulton: WHY DID YOU JYNX IT?

Jeremy Tucker: Eddie gets to his feet just in time for a Stillborn Cradle!

ONE!

TWO!

THRE-foot on the ropes!


Jeremy Tucker: Psycho pops off the pin and he is mad Andrew.

Andrew Fulton: Two on one, what is this?

Jeremy Tucker: Now the hellhounds begin beating down Eddie with stomps. The ref admonishes them. Eddie is bleeding from the head and dizzy. OH MY GOSH!

Andrew Fulton: Eddie just lunged at the Hellhounds but got the ref with a shot to the head with those ham hock fists of his!

Jeremy Tucker: The Hellhounds are happy with this! CERBERUS WITH A CHEESE GRATER TO THE FOREHEAD!

Andrew Fulton: MAKE IT STOP! Now they’re grating his face off!

[From the ramp we see four silhouettes]

Jeremy Tucker: What’s this?

Andrew Fulton: REINFORCEMENTS ARE HERE!

Jeremy Tucker: Armand and Joanne slowly walk the ramp as Frostbite and Eric Dane sprint to the ring! Frostbite just blasted Cerberus with a flaming baseball bat!

Andrew Fulton: Psycho grabs the bat but Eric Dane has his number! WATCH THIS! STAR BREAKER!

Jeremy Tucker: The Hellhounds are dazed and trying to fight back but it’s now four on two with Armand and Joanne each joining one of their teammates. The Hellhounds are getting shots in but this is not going well.

Andrew Fulton: The ref is still down! Knock them out and let Eddie win!

Jeremy Tucker: Psycho avoids a strike from Dane’s adamantium knee brace! He hits a headbutt but Joanne hits him with a low blow with the brass knuckles.

[Armand is now tearing up Cerberus with his own pair of knuckles. Cerberus is turtled up.]

Andrew Fulton: What is Cerberus made of? He just attacked Armand and now they both tumble from the ring. They’re brawling. And Psycho has pulled Frostbite down and they’re rolling around in the ring fighting.

Jeremy Tucker: Yes but Canelli and Dane are picking their spots! WAIT WHAT’S THIS? That’s Isabel Rios and Death Trap!

[Sure enough Isabel slides in behind Joanne and hits a tiger suplex. DT slides in and as Dane turns to see Joanne go flying he is met with a question mark kick from DT. Dane rolls through and tackles DT! Joanne grabs Isabel by the tights and they all roll out of the ring. It’s a huge brawl.]

Andrew Fulton: WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE? It’s now four on four with the Hellhounds, DT and Rios taking on Frostbite, Canelli, Armand, and Dane! They’ve all fought into a big group near the ramp It’s bedlam!

[DING DING!]

Jeremy Tucker: The ref is up and he sees there is no saving this match and he’s waving it off as a no contest. OH MY GOD!

Andrew Fulton: The KGB scatter leaving the Hellhounds, DT and Rios in a group to be crushed as Eddie D actually flies off the top rope with a huge superfly splash! All four of them are down as Eddie grabs his KGB cohorts and raises their arms. This is magical Jerry!

Jeremy Tucker: Well the KGB are retreating before this gets more crazy but they’ve made their point tonight. The other four fighters are all holding their ribs in agony as the KGB celebrate.
[/i]

[Kyle]

Outside, the Amarillo Civic Center in the background, Keith Williams holds an autographed 8x10 photo of "Lucky" Linda La Fey turned toward the camera. The SWAT Universal Sin Championship strapped around his waist, The Ultimate Kingpin is dressed down for the occasion, wearing a black shirt and blue plaid shorts.

Keith Williams: "Is she worth all of this, Paul?"

Questioning his opponent, The Ultimate Kingpin is curious.

Keith Williams: "I really hope she is."

A smile slowly spreads across the face of Williams as he glances at the photo of Linda.

Keith Williams: "Because the chivalry that's having you act this way is going to get you skewered on a stick."

Lacking any emotion, Keith peers through the lens of the camera at his challenger.

Keith Williams: "I'm not naïve enough to think this will be the last encounter between myself, you, and Linda. There's still more to be chronicled! A single match can't determine everything. That'd be silly!"

Not content with just this match, KW seems prepared to wage an ongoing war against Soutter and his lucky lady.

Keith Williams: "So what are you going to do when I start to rip and tear her apart?"

Painstakingly, The Champion of Champions uses both hands to split the photograph, ripping at a corner. What started as a small tear turns into a massive one as Williams turns the picture into two pieces. Folding the photo fragments onto each other, he rips them over and over, holding the remains in his hands.

Keith Williams: "When I go after each and every one of your weaknesses?"

Releasing the waste, Keith lets go of the pieces of Linda and they scatter into the wind.

Keith Williams: "Whatever resolution you're pursuing I'm going to thwart. When you zig, I'm going to zag. I don't want this to end. It doesn't have to; not yet. I'm the wildcard once drawn you can't shove me back in the deck. I'm going to do what I want, when I want. It's that simple, Suit."

Still looking at his hands, Williams wipes off what's left of the photo on his shorts.

Keith Williams: "I'm a skyscraper that keeps growing and eclipsing those trying oh so hard to catch up. Your suite is in my shadow, Mad Dog, and you'd be wise to recall that."

Holding one hand up and the other lower, The Man with a Plan illustrates the difference in height.

Keith Williams: "My championship? The SWAT Universal Sin Title?"

Keith grins while maintaining eye contact with the camera, pointing both index fingers at the gold secured around his body.

Keith Williams: "It's staying where it belongs, around my waist. I didn't subject myself to teaming with your cunty girlfriend only to lose the gold I won in record setting fashion against Eddie D. Was getting eliminated from the Royal Rumble by me not enough for you?"

Using both hands, KW nearly gropes himself as he sensually rubs the championship connected to him.

Keith Williams: "I make one comment about Linda licking my asshole and suddenly you've acquired the anger and strength of seven simpletons. You want to get physical, Soutter? Be my fucking guest. Mess with the bull, you're gonna get the horns. You're so concerned and distracted by Rally Jackson. Why? Because he ribbed you? I'm racking up wins left and right while someone like Psychotic Goth is getting a shot at the SWAT World Heavyweight Championship. I should be in the main-event. I should be worried about Rally Jackson. But I'm not."

His left eyebrow arches as a sneer appears on Keith's face.

Keith Williams: "Paul, you're no Radu Matei. You aren't invincible. Your pain tolerance has a limit and I'm going to test it. When I find your max, Soutter, I'm going to push you past that point and snap you, just like Oxford Osland is going to do to Pequeño Dinosaurio."

BARNEY MUST DIE.

Keith Williams: "It's clear-cut, the significance of The ReVenants. Wherever we go, we take over. Growing stronger, acquiring gold, and enhancing our numbers. Double O and I? We're ReV through and through. It never takes much convincing because people already know the benefits of being a ReVenant. We've seeped into every nook and cranny of the XHF Network. Every week there's someone petitioning their spot into the group, a fountain of ideas on how THEY can join."

Sighing, Williams dismisses this behavior with a wave of his hand.

Keith Williams: "Do you see what I'm getting at? The ReVenants are in demand. Every promotion in the XHF Network would like to book us on their shows. But a hot commodity can't be had by everyone. And not every person is cut out to be a ReVenant. We're an elite import that only fetches top dollar."

If dollar signs could pop up in both of Keith's eyes right now, they would.

Keith Williams: "Tonight is the night Oxford Osland takes home the SWAT Television Championship and The ReVenants add another piece of hardware to the collection. Texas Turmoil... This is the show where I neuter the mongrel known as Paul Soutter and prolong my illustrious reign as the SWAT US Champion. The greatest US Champion the XHF Network has ever known!"

Neo James Carner is a solid AWF US Champion.

Keith Williams: "You had your card revoked, but I know in your heart you still rep The KGB. That's a problem, Paulie. A very BIG and nasty problem. My ears bleed every time I hear those three letters. It grates on my nerves having to listen to people prop up that shamble of a stable as something important in Syndicate Wrestling & Tradition. They aren't."

Keith seriously doesn't like The KGB.

Keith Williams: "Forget what you know and learn the only three characters of the alphabet that matter. R-E-V."

ReVenants all day every day, baybay.

Keith Williams: "Burn us out, castigate us, develop a cure that won't work. The ReVenants are an inescapable red death. The ReVenants are Gods; the ONLY Gods that should be on the lips and hearts of all fans."

The scene fades to black as Keith Williams continues to look into the camera, eager for the match to come.

[SWAT Team]

Frank Salazar: The following contest is scheduled for one fall and is for the SWAT Television championship! Featuring first the challenger, weighing in at two hundred a fifty-four pounds...Oxford Osland!

[As the beat from Elevators by Outkast pops through the arena, Oxford Osland emerges from behind the curtain with a confident smirk plastered all over his face. Osland doesn't bother mingling with the fans at all, as he walks calmly to the ring. Once he arrives, he walks up the stairs and wipes his boots on the apron. Osland enters in between the top and middle rope and does a lap of the ring before getting acquainted with his corner. ]

Jeremy Tucker: Oxford gotta be feeling good about his chances tonight since Pequeno is injured! He shouldn’t be wanting to go for the championship under these circumstances!

Andrew Fulton: What kind of say do you think Oxford has? “Oh no, I won’t go on tonight, because my opponent is injured”? You think that Jonnie Valentine would go for that? No!

Jeremy Tucker: I suppose you are right.

Andrew Fulton: I know I am.

Frank Salazar: And his opponent, weighing in at one hundred and fifty-five pounds, he is the SWAT Television champion...Pequeno Dinosaurio!

BOOM BOOM ACKA-LACKA LACKA BOOM!
BOOM BOOM ACKA-LACKA LACKA BOOM BOOM!!

’Walk the Dinosaur’ by Was (not was) starts to play, fans, especially the younger ones, begin clapping along to the silly, but infectious beat of the song.

When Pequeno would come out from the back in a dramatic fashion, he limps rather heavily out from the back, his Television title hanging over his left shoulder. He sort of clutches at his rib cage and limps towards the ring.

Dark green scaled boots lead to a slight fade to light green as his tights approach his waist. His scaled costume complete with cape giving him the look of a pterodactyl!

Pequeno Dinosaurio doesn’t interact with the fans like he would normally do, practically dragging his right leg into the ring to mostly stand on his left leg as he hands the Television championship belt to the ref for display to the crowd and being handed off to the Timekeeper for safe keeping.

Jeremy Tucker: See? How can Pequeno fly if he can barely stand up?

Andrew Fulton: Maybe Dino Guy should have thought of that before talking to another man’s wife!

Jeremy Tucker: I don’t think it can be stressed enough that she has been pursuing him, not the other way around.

Andrew Fulton: What? Would you rather Armand beat his wife? It doesn’t work that way, Tucker!

Jeremy Tucker: I suppose not. As the bell sounds to start the match, Oxford rushes across the ring and drop kicks Pequeno in the left leg? Why would he target the left leg?

Andrew Fulton: That’s where Dino Guy is carrying almost all of his weight. The right leg is already done.

Jeremy Tucker: I guess that makes a perverse sort of sense. Pequeno goes right to the mat with the drop kick to his good leg. Oxford on him with a spinning toe hold to the good leg.

Andrew Fulton: Oxford seeking the figure four leg lock, but Dino Guy managing to get his right leg up to push him away. Dino Guy manages to get to his feet and hit Oxford with a chop to the chest. Wooo!

Jeremy Tucker: Pequeno continuing to chop at Oxford like he were trying to bring down a tree before whipping him into the ropes. On the rebound, Oxford goes for a clothesline, but Pequeno drops down to the mat so that Oxford goes over him and to the ropes on the opposite side. Can Pequeno hop back up?

Andrew Fulton: No! He does try though and on the rebound, Oxford gets a running knee to the side of Dino Guy’s head, sending him back down to the mat. Just so that Dino Guy knows who is in charge, Oxford stomps on the right knee!

Jeremy Tucker: Oxford reaches down to pull Pequeno up but gets pulled down into a small package instead! Quick pinfall. Does he get it? No! Oxford out at the two count!

Andrew Fulton: Oxford jumps up to his feet, dragging Dino Guy up by the mask. He pulls him up into a body slam position but runs with him and hits a power slam! Such power by Oxford!

Jeremy Tucker: He does have about a hundred pounds on Pequeno. I think he should be able to toss the smaller luchador around.

Andrew Fulton: Oxford stands up, grabs Dino Guy by the left leg, and drops an elbow on the knee!

Jeremy Tucker: Again, Oxford goes for the figure four leg lock. I mean it isn’t a move that Oxford does often, at all, but it might be a smart move in this case. A quick submission win with Pequeno’s leg being injured.

Andrew Fulton: Right. It’s a gimmie move. Dino Guy is down a leg, work it, and get the win. Simple.

Jeremy Tucker: Pequeno blocks the move again, this time kicking Oxford into the corner where Oxford’s should strikes the ring post!

Andrew Fulton: Oxford leans against the corner, favouring his shoulder while he simply watches Dino Guy get back up to his feet.

Jeremy Tucker: Oxford rushes Pequeno, only to be taken down to the mat by an arm drag! Oxford gets right back up to his feet, rushing at Pequeno again. He gets taken down with another arm drag!

Andrew Fulton: Dino Guy looking light on his feet, but he’s probably running on pure adrenaline right now.

Jeremy Tucker: Oxford closing the distance slowly this time so that Pequeno can’t arm drag him. Pequeno ducks under a swing, punching Oxford in the thigh for a powerful Charlie Horse! Oxford reacts to that and Pequeno goes on the offensive with lefts and rights to the body and head before an uppercut sends Oxford to the mat!

Andrew Fulton: I can’t believe that Dino Guy has so much fight left in him!

Jeremy Tucker: Pequeno grabs Oxford in a front face lock. I think he’s going to go for a ddt! However, Oxford gets a hand on Pequeno’s right calf and shoves him right in the knee cap with his other hand to hyperextend the knee! Pequeno releases Oxford, falling to the mat and clutching at his knee. Oxford just smiles at the pain he’s inflicted and stomps the bad knee!

Andrew Fulton: Dino Guy hesitated, probably from the pain in his leg, and he paid the price for it!

Jeremy Tucker: Oxford goes to pull Pequeno back to his feet but gets pulled down into a jawbreaker instead! What an impact! Oxford and Pequeno both are laying on the mat, but for different reasons.

Andrew Fulton: Dino Guy is the first to his feet. Oxford starts to get up but is put down by a moonsault axe kick! How did Dino Guy get into the air for that one?

Jeremy Tucker: With Oxford down, Pequeno begins to climb the corner. He’s going especially slow but picks up speed as the crowd cheers him on. He raises his hand into the air, but nearly falls when his right knee attempts to go out on him!

Andrew Fulton: Dino Guy leaps into the air for his Pterodactyl Splash, but Oxford gets a foot in the air that catches Dino Guy in the jaw!

Jeremy Tucker: Oxford gets to his feet, grabs Pequeno by the right foot, lifts up the leg as high as he can, and simply drives the knee into the mat! He does this over and over again before applying a figure four leg lock! Simply brutal!

Andrew Fulton: Will Dino Guy give up? The ref is checking, but it doesn’t seem like he is. What’s this?

Jeremy Tucker: Vanessa Martinez is running down to the ring! Oxford doesn’t notice her. Oh wait, he does, but he keeps the move applied. What’s she have?

Andrew Fulton: A towel! Vanessa has a towel! She climbs up onto the apron, gets the ref’s attention, and throws in the towel! Like literally!

Jeremy Tucker: Vanessa is Pequeno’s agent and not his manager. Is the ref going to accept this? He is! The ref is signalling for the bell!

Andrew Fulton: Vanessa just cost Dino Guy the Television title!

Jeremy Tucker: Yes, but he might have saved Pequeno’s leg from permanent harm. Oxford releases the figure four leg lock and raises his arms into the air in victory as he is handed the Television championship belt.

Frank Salazar: Your winner via submission via the towel being thrown in. He is your NEW SWAT Television champion...Oxford Osland!

Andrew Fulton: I mean it’s a shitty deal all around, but at the heart of it? Don’t talk to another man’s wife!

Jeremy Tucker: I think the heart of it is...Pequeno was screwed no matter what being in the middle of the Von Krausses and their marital situation.

Andrew Fulton: Right? Dino Guy didn’t even get to sup at that hotness to get the beat down as if he did!

Jeremy Tucker: Medics are coming down to the ring. Pequeno is looking at Vanessa as if she’s betrayed him. She’s trying to explain herself, but between the crushing disappointment of losing and the pain in his leg and ribs...Pequeno just isn’t listening.

Andrew Fulton: Any more time in that figure four leg lock and Dino Guy might have never walked again. She did him a favor.

Jeremy Tucker: Yeah and I’m sure he’ll see reason. Just not right now. Oxford holds the TV Belt high in the air. He winks at Vanessa who glares at him and then poses for the fans with the belt and they boo him.

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker : Next up, Team Fairfax vs Team KGB. Texas expects gentlemen.

Andrew Fulton : Yep, they’d better deliver. Half the people in this socially distanced audience are packing… and wearing masks… just saying… we’d be caught in the cross fire guys is all I’m saying… … … just saying… … …Please be good guys… Over to Frank Salazar…

Frank Salazar : Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE fall and is a tag team contest for the SWAT World Tag Team Championships!!!

The UFC Remix hits and Tong and Phantom Fairtex make their way onto the ramp way. They are both wearing Team Fairtex singlets and psyching each other up, they taunt the fans and do a few poses riling them up and then go over some last minute plans .

Frank Salazar : Introducing now, hailing from Bangkok, Thailand. Coming in at combined weight of 470 pounds ....representing the KGB ..... TONG AND PHANTAM FAIRTEX!!!

Jeremy Tucker : They’ve been good for this title shot for a while now… Is tonight going to be their night?

Andrew Fulton : I imagine that Armand will have something up his sleeve to hopefully head into the Anzac Cup still champions… It’s a psychological edge that they won’t want to give up lightly…

The KGB theme hits and out comes Frostbite and Armand Von Krauss, accompanied by The Compton Colossal, Bruno. Armand takes a drag on his Egyptian cigarette, locking on the crowd with scorn, and Frostbite stops halfway to the ring where we see a fan holding their replica SWAT World Belt in his face. He looks confused and lustful even, Bruno snaps him out of it and forces him on but he keeps looking back at that belt. Another fan then does the same, and Frostbite starts to lose it, suddenly a dozen belts are being pumped, the crowd start a chant of “Belt – Love, Belt – Love” in the style of a ‘yes’ chant, and Frostbite is annoyed at them cheapening his love, he is holding his ears and Bruno again snaps him out of it and the tag champs make their way into the ring, Armand giving Frostbite a curious WTF eyebrow raise.

Frank Salazar : Introducing your TAG… TEAM… CHAMPIONS, coming in at a combined weight of 470 lbs. …Representing the KGB! …FROSTBITE & ARMAND… VON… KRAUSS!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Team Fairfax are crowding the referee… There are some complaints coming from Team Fairfax about Bruno being out here…

Andrew Fulton : What could their complaint possibly be? I am sure that Bruno has no evil intent towards them and is just here to support his boss. Look at the way that the crowd have been messing with Frostbite. Team KGB could do with his influence until this crowd behaves itself…

Jeremy Tucker : Well it looks like the referee sees Team Fairfax’s point of view on this one and is demanding that Bruno leave… Frostbite is protesting but I think the referee won’t be turned on this decision…

Andrew Fulton : Bruno is ignoring the referee but looks to Armand for his decision… The referee is incensed that he’s being ignored… Armand finally gives Bruno the nod and asks him to head to the back… Ever the tactician Armand decides that it’s not worth the battle of word to keep Bruno out there… Fight the battles you can win folks.

Jeremy Tucker : Well I’d call that a little win for Team Fairfax and the bell has only just been rung. The teams are wasting no time choosing who is starting off… Frostbite is facing off against Phantam… They pace out and jockey for position around each other… Collar and elbow tie up… Frostbite slips loose and knees Phantam in the ribs… drags Phantam back to his corner and tags in Armand… Frostbite stays in the ring… Double hip toss on Phantam but he’s back up…. Phantam charges the pair but paces into a double arm drag and doesn’t spring back up the second time… Tong has already had enough of the double teaming and comes storming in… Armand and Frostbite have seen him coming though… Double Back Body Drop! … Tong groans as he rolls immediately to the outside and slams his hands down on the steel steps annoyed at being outsmarted… He heads around to his own corner shouting at the referee about the double teaming…

Andrew Fulton : Yeah but he’s bought Phantam a vital moment to compose himself… as the referee demands that Frostbite leaves, Phantam delivers a mighty chop to Armand’s chest… Ouch, they heard that slap in the cheap seats…

Jeremy Tucker : … Phantam hits a big overhand chop on Armand and Armand is staggered… Phantam grabs Armand by the scruff of the neck and drags him up?! … Scoop Powerslam! …Phantam with the cover…

… … … 1

… … …2

Kick out!

… That’s a two count real early in the match here?

Andrew Fulton : When Phantam hit’s those Scoop Powerslams people remain hit.

Jeremy Tucker : Phantam drags Armand up, but Armand wheels his arm to get free and stamps on Phantam’s foot… Phantam takes a step backward smarting… Armand hits the ropes and clothesline Phantam down… Armand drags Phantam back to the KGB corner by his leg… Armand makes the tag, but as he hits the tag Phantam lashes out with his free leg and catches Armand square on the jaw…

Andrew Fulton : Hell! Count those teeth Armand. I hope you got dental on your insurance… Ouch!

Jeremy Tucker : Frostbite’s route into the ring is blocked by Armand as Armand’s stunned by the kick… I’m not sure that Phantam heard the tag… Phantam drags himself up and starts choking Armand using the top rope… The referee tries to tell Phantam that Armand is not the legal man, but Frostbite drags Phantam away, slips in beside him?! Russian Leg Sweep!

Andrew Fulton : Phantam clutches his neck but doesn’t want to be stranded in the KGB corner… Phantam rolls away towards the middle of the ring and gets back to one knee… Frostbite grabs Phantam before he can regain his feet and applies The Cold as ICE!! (Fingers on the neck in a nerve pinch submission)

Jeremy Tucker : The referee is there asking if Phantam quits, but Phantam is trying to drag himself, one leg lunge at a time, closer to his corner where Tong has his arm out ready for the tag… Frostbite bears down even harder with The Cold as Ice and Phantam has to stop his progress inches away from a tag… Phantam is struggling now and Frostbite roars with delight as he can feel his opponent is fading and Armand laughs and applauds the pain that Frostbite is dishing out…

Andrew Fulton : Tong looks like he’s going to come in and break it up, but it’s just a rouse… He puts one leg through the ropes and immediately returns back to the apron… Armand took the bait and dived into the ring to prevent Tong making the save… All the referee can see is Armand trying to get in the ring and the referee immediately insisting that Armand leave… Tong takes his hands over his head and shouts “tag” and claps his hands together loudly and heads into the ring… The referee has shooed Armand out of the ring and takes the cry of “tag” and the clap as the real deal. You can’t call what you don’t see referee?!

Jeremy Tucker : As the referee turns around he sees Frostbite drop the hold and duck an attempted clothesline from Tong… Phantam has the energy left to get on all fours and tucks in behind Frostbite’s legs as Frostbite turns to face Tong… Tong hits the opposite ropes, Frostbite raises his arms in his defence but Tong dropkicks him… with Phantam tucked in behind his legs Frostbite crashes down hard from the impact…

Andrew Fulton : The referee is telling Phantam to leave the ring and he holds his neck gingerly and does as he’s told… Tong grabs the downed Frostbite and locks in a Guillotine Choke!!! … Frostbite is struggling to escape… Armand runs across and makes the save with a kick to Tongs ribs… Armand leaves the ring and waits in his corner, with a ‘butter wouldn’t melt’ expression on his face, with the referee’s complaints about breaking the hold ringing in his ears.

Jeremy Tucker : Tong shouts abuse at Armand and quickly gets back to dragging Frostbite back up… Frostbite throws a punch but Tong avoids it, steps in close and T-BONE SUPLEX!!! And covers…

… … … 1

… … …2

… Armand makes the save with a diving double axe handle to the back of Tong’s head…

Andrew Fulton : The referee is blowing a gasket about that break… It’s like he never refereed a tag match before, this is all standard saving your partner stuff right here…

Jeremy Tucker : Armand gets back to his corner, Tong tags in Phantam and holds Frostbite’s legs up… Phantam executes a somersault legdrop!!!

Andrew Fulton : Frostbite has to be done for now… That’s a lot of punishment in a short time…

Jeremy Tucker : Phantam tags Tong back in immediately… holds Frostbite’s legs down and Tong executes a somersault cannonball!!!! Phantam stays in the ring to try and keep Armand out of the ring; the referee concentrates on the cover…

… … … 1

… … …2

… … … Armand makes the save with a baseball slide between Phantam’s legs and kicks Tong in the head…

Andrew Fulton : Armand made to pay with an elbow drop to the chest from Phantam in retaliation but the save has been made…

Jeremy Tucker : The referee tries to get order again by ordering Phantam and Armand back to their corners… They have Frostbite in a pretty bad way, but they really need to knock the wind out of Armand’s sails else they might never get this illusive pin…

Andrew Fulton : They’re the champions Jeremy… they’re not gonna just hand the belts to their former stable mates… Not with the amount of bad blood in this one…

Jeremy Tucker : Tong tags Phantam back in and Phantam goes to hold Frostbite down by the legs, but Frostbite knees him in the head… The referee is telling Phantam to leave, but he begins choking Frostbite instead… Tong headed up to the top rope… but then looks back and sees that the moonsault he had planned isn’t going to be possible just yet… Tong surveys the chaos of his partner, the referee and a throttled Frostbite in the drop zone behind him… Armand sprints down the apron and forearms Tong’s legs from under him and he falls awkwardly to the ARENA FLOOR!!!

Andrew Fulton : Armand walks back towards his corner laughing at Tong suffering holding his back… Phantam sees what’s happened, drops his choke, sprints at Armand and shoulder charges him off the apron!!! Armand smashes back first into the security rail at ringside!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : What an ugly fall!! …Phantam rolls to the outside to see how his brother is… Tong is slowly getting back up, but he looks to have hurt his back quite badly in that horrendous fall…

Andrew Fulton : That was horrifying wasn’t it… Highlight reel stuff for sure… He could have killed him… ha ha ha ha… Can we get an action replay? …Does that sound insensitive?

Jeremy Tucker : Yes, but no more than usual… Frostbite has had a short bit of rest bite and has returned to his corner… Armand is staggering back to the apron holding his back, on his way back to the KGB corner… Frostbite waves for Armand to hurry up, so he can make the tag…

Andrew Fulton : Before Frostbite can make the tag, Team Fairfax arrive behind him… Frostbite hears the danger and turns to face his attackers?! … They grab Frostbite and …Bangkok Blaster 2.0!!!!! (Tong executes a Muy Thai style Ghettoblaster while Phantam executes a legsweep)

Tong with the cover…

… … … 1

… … …2

… … ..Kick out!

Jeremy Tucker : That could not have been much closer to a pinfall… Tong looks at the referee in disbelief, but the referee assures him it wasn’t a three count…

Andrew Fulton : Whilst Team Fairfax grill the referee… Armand slides in, grabs Frostbite by the leg and drags him forcibly out of the ring…

Jeremy Tucker : Armand rolls into the ring and starts yelling at Team Fairfax… most of what’s said sounds German… I don’t speak German but it’s clearly not congratulatory… The referee is insisting Armand to leave and trying to get Phantam out of the ring also… The referee is getting himself between these three angry men in a very dangerous position in my opinion…

Andrew Fulton : Eventually Armand throws a punch behind the referees back and stuns Phantam for a second… The referee hears the connection and turns suddenly… Armand gives the referee a light shove to off balance him and dives past him to floor Tong a brutal forearm smash to the face…

Jeremy Tucker : He can’t put his hands on the referee like that…

Andrew Fulton : Like you said, if you put yourself in a dangerous position like that you’re gonna get knocked around occasionally…

Jeremy Tucker : Armand grabs a stunned Phantam and whips him into the nearest turnbuckles… Phantam is bleary-eyed from that punch to the nose and smashed chest first into the turnbuckles! …Phantam staggers backwards from the impact… Armand grabs him from behind?! LUNGBLOWER!!!

Andrew Fulton : Ouch… Phantam felt all of that, but I’m not sure that Armand can keep this up against two men…

Jeremy Tucker : The referee is demanding that Armand leaves and asking if he pushed him… Armand denies it and is dropkicked from behind by Tong! …Armand stumbles from the impact and slams face first into the nearest turnbuckles…

Andrew Fulton : Phantam is back up from his lungblower and smarting, but he crosses over to Armand and slaps him in a guillotine choke… The referee is telling the pair of them to leave the ring, but when Phantam just ignores him, he puts his hand in the hold, decides it’s just a blatant choke and starts counting on him to break the hold… 1… …2… …3… …4… …5… The referee is close to disqualify Team Fairfax when Phantam finally let’s go of the hold…

Jeremy Tucker : It seems ridiculous to risk getting disqualified that way when perhaps the gold is so nearly theirs…

Andrew Fulton : When that red mist descends Jerry there’s not always a lot you can do about it… Armand looks almost out of it… They should just pin him and put him out of his misery…

Jeremy Tucker : Team Fairfax in the ascendency here after a gruelling match up, is this the finish here?

Andrew Fulton : I think they’re setting up for the Fairtex Clothesline, seen this one end people’s night fast… Looks like we might have new champions coming up…

Jeremy Tucker : Phantam holds Armand piggyback style while Tong waits ready to spring off the ropes and connect with that vicious lariat… Hang on isn’t Frostbite the legal man?

Andrew Fulton : I think you’re right… It’s been so chaotic I’ve lost track… Doesn’t hurt to take Armand out though…

Jeremy Tucker : Tong Fairfax hits the ropes, but Frostbite is back up on the outside reaches through the ropes and trips Tong!! …Tong face plants down hard and holds his head, momentarily stunned… Phantam has been standing waiting to complete the move so long that Armand has finally coming around and slaps a sleeper hold on Phantam!!

Andrew Fulton : Phantam is staggering around trying to shake Armand off but he’s got it locked in pretty good in that piggyback… Armand is locking in the legs around his waist too and Phantam is struggling here…

Jeremy Tucker : Meanwhile the referee is telling both men to leave the ring as they’re not the legal men here and Frostbite rolls in to confront Tong… Frostbite still looks kinda out of it after that Ghettoblaster earlier… Tong and Frostbite exchange punches… Tong blocks a punch and drags Frostbite close for a suplex… Goes to lift Frostbite into the vertical?! …but Frostbite blocks the attempt by locking a leg around Tong’s… Tong winces and reaches out a hand to his lower back in pain… I think he pulled something… Frostbite adjusts and sends Tong skyward… Holding Tong a while up there?! SNOWSTORM!!!!!!! (A front brainbuster)

Andrew Fulton : Phantam finally staggers back with purpose and crushes Armand into the nearest turnbuckles to free himself from the sleeper hold he was in, but I think he’s going to be too late to make a save here? … Phantam tries to pace across to the pinning situation about to happen in the center of the ring, but with the last of his energy Armand dives out and football tackles Phantam to the canvas from behind and Phantam has Armand locked around his ankles…

Frostbite covers Tong…

… … … 1

… … … 2

… … … 3!!!!

Frank Salazar : Your winners of the match, and STILL SWAT WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS …. THE KGB! ARMAND VON KRAUSS AND FROSTBITE!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Phantam shakes free of Armand’s grip and punches Frostbite with a huge right cross… Frostbite rolls away but felt the worst of the blow and rolls to the apron edge and eases himself unsteadily to the outside… Phantam turns his frustration back on Armand… Armand tries to get away but Phantam grabs him by the hair… big double knee strike to the face!!!

Andrew Fulton : Bruno is on his way out here… Tong is holding his back as he eases himself up to his feet… Bruno shouts up at Phantam and Tong from the outside and goads them about their loss… This is enough of a distraction for Armand to roll out to join Frostbite on the outside…

Jeremy Tucker : Armand and Frostbite are arm in arm leaning on each other as they carry their title belts away, once more victorious…

Andrew Fulton : Close but no cigar for Team Fairfax, but let’s hope the draw for the Anzac cup pitches these two teams together again… I for one loved this matchup…

Jeremy Tucker : We will be back with more action very shortly… Stay tuned.

[Deleted]

“Let me help you! Urrrg! You’re being completely unreasonable!”
Refusing help from either of them, Pequeno Dinosaurio limped his way through the dressing room door before collapsing into a black steel folding chair.

Groaning, he was furious. “I’m being unreasonable?! I am!? You just cost me my first championship…” Ignoring that he was clearly compromised and that Oxford Osland was a formidable challenge even at one hundred percent, his emotions get the better of him.. “…I never gave up! I never…” His eyes were filled with tears.

Watching as Union Jack did his best to slide into the background; Vanessa sat, taking in what she had done. Had she really just ran out onto television and stopped a championship match in progress?

Even she was surprised at how she reacted to seeing him in that much trouble. But he was her only client, if she let him get hurt this early into his career, it could be catastrophic to her career too. Not to mention the injury itself. She couldn’t let the son of her father’s biggest client get injured within the first eight months of his career. It would reflect horribly on her, the agency and worst of all, her father. It was that and nothing else…right?

“I..” She began, unsure of even how to begin to tell him she had done it for his own good.

He was having none of it though, cutting her off. “There’s nothing you can say to me right now. You had no right!” The adrenaline was all that was fuelling him now, he was a raw nerve. Pure emotion.

The usually boisterous Union Jack was silent, readying himself for a shower before they left the arena in what would likely be the quietest cab ride of his life.

“I had no right?! I get you’re mad, but we’ve got a contract so we’re in this together if you like it or not!” She had a point, even if she had overstepped her official duties. “Imagine if I had let you and your stupid pride hang in that hold for longer than you did! You can’t win the mask on the shelf and I can’t build a client base off an injured rookie. I did it because you wouldn’t. Tonight wasn’t your night, but there will be others. We can regroup. You still won the Television Championship in your second match, you still have tremendous gains in fan support over recent events…we have a good solid base for you to build on. But that base disappears if you blow out your knee trying to be a tough guy!” She was yelling at him now as Jack slinked away to the showers. Worse off, she was right. He’d never be Tiranosaurio Junior if he blew his knee out this early in his career.

“I just want to shower and get out of here before Osland starts boasting about how he beat me…” Grabbing a towel from one of the bags at his feet, he heads back towards the showers.

The roar of the Tyrannosaurus from Jurassic Park stops the young dinosaur in his tracks. Practically diving for his bag, the one legged Dino curses before answering, “Hola papa.”

Weeks had blurred into months since he had heard from his father, now at his professional lowest, it wasn’t the time. He wanted to talk to his father when he was champion! When he had an accomplishment, no a trophy, when he had a trophy worth presenting to the Mighty Tiranosaurio! Now he had nothing.

“Si papa. Que? No…she cost me the championship.” Glaring at her, he grits his teeth. “He wants to talk to you.”

Taking the phone, she was instantly a little girl again, “Uncle T. So nice to hear from you…I know. I know, it’s been forever. What? Thank you? For what?” She was blushing now, heavily as she listened to her client’s father expressing his deepest appreciation for what she had done for his son. “It was nothing, he’s like family to me.” She said as the international star praised her quick thinking and resourcefulness, saving him from certain injury and the shame of submitting for the first time in his career.

She was being modest, but her mind squealed with joy! Praise from Tiranosaurio! This had made all the long nights working on Spanish language marketing to include the father/son pair, worth it. Handing the phone back to Dinosaurio, she practically danced away. Her smile ran ear to ear.

Taking the phone back, he started to speak but chose to listen instead…to the tale of when his father was in his very shoes. Losing his first championship.

When his father finished speaking, Pequeno Dinosaurio could feel a weight lifted from his shoulders, he understood now what it meant to be a true champion. It wasn’t about how many times he got knocked down. He must get back up.

Glancing at Vanessa, he was still angry, but the wound would heal with time. Like it or not, she had saved him from himself. Osland could wait until another day for now. Now he needed to heal up, steady his mind and get back to work.

[SWAT Team]

(The show returns from commercials for the upcoming Anzac cup tournament, upcoming awards shows, along with new movies and the same ominous figures warning SWAT that they are coming before fading to ringside where ringsiders are holding signs saying "Soutter's Special!," "'Ultimate Queen' Keith Williams!" "Mad Dog Unleashed!" and "Keith is Kingpin of Crap!" before fading to the broadcast booth where Jeremy Tucker and Andrew Fulton are sitting wearing SWAT licensed masks and SWAT licensed ten gallon hats.)

Jeremy Tucker: "Welcome back to Battleground #36 and Union Jack has either a death wish or has more guts than brains."

Andrew Fulton: "You have that right Jerry. Psychotic Goth is both the locker room leader and the official welcoming committee and he's blaming someone else for that. Hell, it seems someone else is acting idiotic and doing the same thing and he didn't even have his match with Rally 'Golden God' Jackson yet."

Jeremy Tucker: "That's true since nobody wants Rally as champion for his disgusting behavior and Psychotic Goth's more than fired up which is bad news for anyone including Rally 'Golden God' Jackson. He's a maniac in the ring and outside the ring."

Andrew Fulton: "I disagree because Rally will squash him and make sure everyone turns their attention to the real champion and that's Rally."

Jeremy Tucker: "There's even a rumor that someone has been also calling out Team Fairtex after they and Psychotic Goth are rumored to have entered the XHF Trios Championship."

Andrew Fulton: "Who would be stupid enough to do that if they are just rumors."

Jeremy Tucker: "I don't know but getting to this match between 'Ultimate Kingpin' Keith Williams and SWAT Founder Mad Dog Paul Soutter which started on Suit's Suite when Keith Williams literally trashed 'Lucky' Linda La Fey and Soutter didn't like it and hostilities escalated from there."

Andrew Fulton: "You mess with The Revenants and you mess with the wrong group of wrestlers. You mess with Keith Williams and you really are in trouble and you have to question the competence of our not so esteemed fearless leader's competence. Hell, put him in concussion protocols before he really does become a mad dog."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well the Revenants are rumored to be entering The 2021 Anzac Cup and could be a potential rival to The KGB when it comes to controlling SWAT's championship gold. They already are dominating AWF. Even Team Fairtex has a great shot at winning this year and any of those three could meet in the finals."

Andrew Fulton: "Are you trying to create enough heat to help these rowdy jackasses fuel their homes because their stupid utilizes can't even operate in a blizzard. When it comes to the Anzac Cup a lot of wannabe tag teams are going to try and prove their machismo only to be sent home with their tales tucked between their legs."

Jeremy Tucker: "Well Keith Williams is going around talking big about how his Revenants are going to win the Anzac Cup. Tonight he gets to face the music and back up his words as Soutter intends to make him eat them by beating some respect into him for what he said about Linda La Fey."

Andrew Fulton: "Keith is the Universal Sin Champion and he can do whatever he wants and say whatever he wants. He's cocky, arrogant and filled with one hundred percent confidence. So live with it, love it and watch his greatness since he's going to be here forever."

Jeremy Tucker: "Right now let's get to the ring for the introductions."

Frank Salazar: "This next match is scheduled for one fall and is for the SWAT Universal Sin Championship!

Introducing first from Raleigh, NC. He comes in at 6'3"and weighs in at 263lbs. He is the current SWAT Universal Sin Champion, two time AWF Around The Clock Champion, AWF Prestige Champion, FTW Dual Crown Champion, Two Time FIW World Tag Team Champion, Twenty-Two Time FWA Anarchy Champion, NWW British Champion, PWK K-Champion. he is also the 2020 Rookie of the Year, Best Comedy Character of 2020 along with being part of the Best Stable of the Year The Revenants. Please welcome 'The Ultimate Kingpin' Keith Williams."

Three letters announced over the PA system in super flow action precede the explosive sound of "When the levee breaks" by Led Zepellin playing. The lights in the arena incessantly flash on and off as Keith Williams marches out onto the stage. Back to the camera, he thrusts both arms upward with three fingers pointed up on each. The three turn to two, the two turn to into a pair of middle fingers that Keith continues to flaunt as he whirls around and the lights return to normal.

Andrew Fulton: "Now that's greatness personified."

Jeremy Tucker: "You should know since you kiss everyone's ass."

Andrew Fulton: "I don't kiss anyone's ass."

Jeremy Tucker: "Really? I couldn't tell."

[Smirking Keith shrugs and nonchalantly shows his palms, acting as if he's clueless to why he's getting hate. Waggling his eyebrows to get a rise from the fans, Keith fires off a series off mustache strokes before strutting his way down to the ring. Slowly rolling under the bottom rope to enter, The Ultimate Kingpin keeps rolling until he's in the center of the squared circle. Kneeling, his back to the camera again, KW points at the design on his jacket with a single thumb. ]

Frank Salazar: "Now introducing from Melbourne, Australia. He comes in at 6'3"and weighs in at 364lbs. He's the Founder of SWAT! The Suit! Please welcome The Mad Dog Paul Soutter."

("Rip it up" by 28 Days plays and the ringsiders give him a rowdy and rousing roar as Mad Dog Paul Soutter comes to ringside slapping hands and when he enters the ring. He poses and glares at Keith Williams who glares back.)

Jeremy Tucker: "The bell rings and this match is underway."

Andrew Fulton: "Yeah and these Texas morons are going to be rowdier than usual and with Soutter they're going to be even more rowdier than usual."

Jeremy Tucker: "Keith feigns a lock up and smoothes his hair and twirls his moustache strutting around angering Soutter. He turns and Soutter throws him into a corner and starts delivering crushing forearms to the head into the turnbuckle."

Andrew Fulton: "First Linda and now Soutter is trying to kill the Universal Sin Champion. I'm telling you it's a conspiracy against poor Keith."

Jeremy Tucker: "Soutter whips Keith into the opposite corner and avalanches the 'Ultimate Kingpin' who stumbles out and falls flat on his face."

Andrew Fulton: "Unfair. Soutter is trying to kill Keith for just being the champion and defending it against everyone."

Jeremy Tucker: "Soutter scoops Keith up and body slams him with authority before bounding into the ropes but Williams rolls out of the way and Soutter misses with a leg drop."

Andrew Fulton: "Williams knows Soutter's trying to kill and deprive his family of a living. Keith starts to work on Soutter's leg and with a series of kicks and elbows before the referee warns him. he gets up and bows like gentleman before twisting his moustache."

Jeremy Tucker: "Yeah real gentlemanly of Keith. The champion sets Soutter up with great effort and tiger suplex's the Suit followed by a series of jumping stomps to his mid-section. He goes to the ropes and leans on the ropes wiggling his eyebrows at a woman as the boyfriend gives him the double finger and the possibility of Texas style justice."

Andrew Fulton: "He's just jealous because he can't perform in bed compared to Keith Williams. Keith tries to whip Soutter into the ropes but Suit reverses it and charges with a clothesline but Keith ducks and stops at the opposite ropes pointing to his head and turns around only to get clotheslined out of the ring by a raging Mad Dog. He follows Williams out and he gets up a real head of steam and he delivers a Soutter Express to Williams knocking him into the ringside seats. Soutter goes over the guardrail and smashes Keith's head into the guard railling with a vengeance. Soutter's trying to bash his head in and kill him."

Jeremy Tucker: "He's not trying to kill him. Keith's arrogance and overly cocky attitude isn't appreciated in the locker room nor is it appreciated in this match against Soutter. He bodyslams Keith into the guard railing before doing it again in the ringside seats. Once again he smashes Keith's head into the guard railing."

Andrew Fulton: "Our not so great and fearless leader is proving his Mad Dog moniker is true. Soutter grabs a hotdog and he takes a bite as if he's eaten the whole buffet table in the backstage area. Now he's out to humiliate the champion by stuffing the rest of the hotdog down Keith's throat. Now he's definitely trying to kill the champion by choking him without mercy. Somebody save him from that hotdog! Who knows where that hotdog was before Soutter grabbed it! Get the EPA! Get the DHS! Someone call the medics to save Keith from COVID-19!"

Jeremy Tucker: "Will you stop that. Soutter orders a beer and he drinks it before getting another which he uses to splash all over Keith's head and then smashes the cup into his face. He scoops Williams up and drops him throat first onto the guard railing before Gorilla pressing the champion onto the hard concrete floor."

Andrew Fulton: "The Suit's being sadistic as usual. Soutter tosses Keith back into the ring unceremoniously and goes under the ring and returns with a chair. The champion gets up and barely ducks out of the way before kicking at Soutter's bad leg that he was targeting earlier."

Jeremy Tucker: "Keith grabs the chair and starts beating Soutter with it. He jams that chair into the back of that bad leg before throwing it down, and twirling his moustache doing his phony noble act. 'The Ultimate Kingpin' leaves and brings a Singapore cane into the ring and starts beating Soutter's head with it."

Andrew Fulton: "Keith is getting revenge for Soutters trying to kill him. Suit's busted open and the champ barely picks up Soutter and bodyslams him holding his back as he climbs the ropes. He positions himself and comes off with a diving elbow before making the cover for a one count. That was too soon to cover him."

Jeremy Tucker: "Keith continues to work on those tree trunk legs of Soutter's. He barely snaps a knee bar on him attempting to get more leverage on him but Soutter manages to reach the ropes. Keith milks the count before releasing the hold."

Andrew Fulton: "The champ continues to use the chair to jam it into Soutter's leg before stomping on that leg forcing Soutter out of the ring. Oh look Keith is posing like those old 19th century fighters smiling for his great fans in attendance. He goes to the top rope and waits for Soutter to get back up before flying off with a double axehandle to Soutter's head which he won't feel because there's nothing in it."

Jeremy Tucker: "Keith unceremoniously rolls Soutter back into the ring and returns with an ice pick. He starts to carve his initials into Soutter's head. He grabs Soutter's leg and he attempts to cinch in a Texas Cloverleaf but once again Soutter's leg's are tree trunks that can't be placed in a submission hold. Keith makes up for it by stomping the back of his head."

Andrew Fulton: "These Texas morons are showing no appreciation whatsoever in Keith's superior dominance of our unesteemed fearless leader. He delivers another series of stomps to the back of smelly Suit's still empty head. Keith continues to deliver a Texas sized whoop ass kicking that even these idiots can appreciate. Hell, they should be respecting and honoring him."

Jeremy Tucker: "He's a jerk and these fine Texas ringsiders are good wrestling fans. Keith attempts a piledriver which be barely can hold Soutter. Soutter blocks and counters with a back bodydrops Williams and he unleashes a series of relentless stomps."

Andrew Fulton: "Soutter uses that icepick to start Keith's handsome looks. He places Williams into a rear chinlock and starts to pummel him with hard forearms and now he picks him up and starts spinning him around and thrashing him in that rear chinlock proving he's trying to kill the champion."

Jeremy Tucker: "Soutter doesn't kill anyone. The Suite takes names and kicks butt in the ring. Soutter leaves the ring and returns with an iron rod and starts to beat Keith down ruthlessly and without remorse. Soutter sets Keith up and he delivers a backbreaker in which he holds him over his knee and bends Keith in a very bad way."

Andrew Fulton: "Now he's trying to cripple Keith Williams because he's a gentleman and nice to all the ladies who aren't as ugly as 'Lucky' Linda La Fey. In fact, Linda should have appreciated his generosity but her ego refuses to allow her to appreciate it. I'm telling you they're in a conspiracy to discredit both him and his Revenant tag team partner Oxford Osland."

Jeremy Tucker: "Rumor has it that the Revenants have been calling out Team Fairtex for a championship shot even though they haven't even had their match yet. Soutter leaves the ring and returns with a table and sets it up in the corner."

Andrew Fulton: "Now you can't deny that Soutter's trying to kill him. Soutter whips him into that corner but Keith barely puts the brakes on as Soutter charges him but dodges out of the way and Soutter crashes through the table. Keith counters with an inverted DDT and makes the cover for a two count. The champion can't believe that he didn't beat the Founder of SWAT."

Jeremy Tucker: "If Keith hadn't been strutting around and twirling his moustache like the sleazy villain he is and wasting time. Keith would have won by immediately making the cover. You would think that a veteran like him would have remembered that concept."

Andrew Fulton: "The referee is an incompetent ass and makes slow counts proving he's part of the conspiracy to discredit Keith Williams. Hell, I've been saying that all along but nobody believes me. I said it last year and I'm saying it again this year. Now the proof is in the ring right before everyone's eyes."

Jeremy Tucker: "How many times do I have to tell you there's no conspiracy against Keith Williams. Keith waits and bounds into the ropes, not here at SWAT anyway. Keith mounts and grounds and pounds Soutter before stomping a mud hole into the Mad Dog's mid-section again. He struts around again and leans on the ropes sneering and twirling his moustache."

Andrew Fulton: "I still believe there's a conspiracy against Keith Williams. Keith waits and bounds into the ropes and PEEEEEEKKKKKAAAAAYYYYYSSSS Soutter's already empty cobwebbed skull. He makes the cover for another two count and once again the referee can't make a count even if his job is on the line."

Jeremy Tucker: "The referee's job isn't on the line Andrew and another thing that was a regular count in any match. Keith starts slapping and shoving and taunting Soutter which isn't such a great idea with a wrestler like Soutter. Soutter's about to show his mean temper which is how he got his Mad Dog moniker. Suit's daring Keith to continue which he foolishly does."

Andrew Fulton: "Keith keeps hitting Soutter but Soutter's really angry and he unleashes a series of lefts and rights and delivers a series of vicious headbutts. Once again Soutter's proving he wants to murder Keith Williams because he's the champion and he and Linda aren't champions. Soutter now delivers a series of chops and those are leaving a real ugly red, black and blue mark on his chest."

Jeremy Tucker: "He isn't trying to murder Keith Williams. He pummels Keith's head and face busting him open and Keith's really a bloody mess just like Soutter."

Andrew Fulton: "If the referee doesn't end this match with Soutter being disqualified. I'm going to personally ring the bell and have the referee declare Keith Williams the real victor in this match whether anyone likes it or not. Once again Soutter sends him out of the ring and that murderous Mad Dog follows him out and stalks him before he once again delivers another Soutter Express knocking Keith into the ringside seats."

Jeremy Tucker: "Soutter delivers a series of devastating headbutts to Keith Williams. He's on noodle legs and Soutter delivers a last headbutt that makes Williams literally drop head first into someone's lap. That was the same guy who had the issue with Keith leering at his woman earlier."

Andrew Fulton: "That shows how these Texas losers can't keep their equally ugly women from leaving them for hunks like Keith Williams. Look at him he has gold and women think he's a hunky dream boat and he gives them lots of attention. Soutter clotheslines Keith back over the guard railing and onto the concrete floor of the ringside area."

Jeremy Tucker: "Soutter follows Keith back to the ring and looks under the ring and finds a barbed wire baseball bat. He returns to the ring and does a few warm up swings and hits Keith in the back with it. He roars and hits Keith in the head with that barbed wire bat."

Andrew Fulton: "Call the police there's a murder in progress inside the ring! Soutter positions Keith and he powerbombs the champion and makes the cover for a two count proving that was a fast count."

Jeremy Tucker: "That was a normal count and you know it. Soutter whips Keith into the ropes and ducks a clothesline. He comes off the opposite ropes and delivers a Queen Anne's Revenge but Suit doesn't go down. Keith runs into the ropes and delivers another one and Soutter still doesn't go down."

Andrew Fulton: "I'm surprised that big fat oaf can still stand. Keith attempts a third but Soutter grips his throat and chokeslams Keith onto the barbed wire baseball bat. Poor Keith Williams is going to be crippled for life because of Soutter's rage."

Jeremy Tucker: "If Keith can't take being hit by barbed wire baseball bats, which he must have been subjected to for his whole career in AWF and elsewhere in the XHF. He can take landing back first onto one and still live to wrestle another day. Soutter roars again and smiles because he's being generous and delivers a powerslam. He makes the cover.....One....Two....T...No! Keith barely gets an arm up."

Andrew Fulton: "Once again a biased count. Soutter waits and delivers a Clothesline From Hell and makes the cover for another close three count. Soutter whips him into the corner and charges with a gore but Keith leapfrogs over him. He runs to the other corner and up to the top turnbuckle."

Jeremy Tucker: "Keith waits and Soutter charges and the champion comes flying off delivering an 'Off With His Head!' Soutter stumbles and Keith waits and schoolboy rolls him up and grabs the tights.....One....Two....Three!"

Frank Salazar: "Your winner at 14mins and 30seconds'The Ultimate Kingpin' Keith Williams."

Jeremy Tucker: "Keith Williams steals a victory with his usual sleazy tactics."

Andrew Fulton: "Boo Hoo! Keith has to do what he has to do because of the conspiracy against him."

Jeremy Tucker: “Huge win for the Paragon of Sleaze. Soutter nods in recognition to him, he got him this time. The ReVenants have ALL the gold! Right now we have to go to a break but we'll return with more great SWAT action after these messages."

(They fade to commercials.)