Post by gmaybury on Feb 28, 2021 20:03:44 GMT -5
(Gaz Maybury is smashing windows somewhere in North America. Him and Fred Ellliot have been walking for days. The sign appears at the side of the road “BUFFALO, NY”. Every window. Every post box. Gaz has been breaking into them)
Gaz; Here's where you depart.
Fred: I say, I say, what?
(Gaz reaches into his pocket and pulls out American dollar bills. Some crumpled, some ripped, some covered in glass)
Gaz: Fred, I love you. Love you almost as much as life itself. But I'm a old fuck now. Everything I've done off the rugby pitch - I never did for me, never on my own. When I was a tag team champion of the world, I was carried by Violent Dave. When I was the man who had the monster's number. The only man to every defeat the undefeatable Cole Christenson, I did it twice, but you were at my side telling me how to beat a monster. I played Rugby for 4 years professionally, and reached the biggest heights I could, but I was never satisfied. I wrestled for longer than playing Rugby and I still wasn't satisfied, as I never reached the level I though I could, and I never did it alone.
I started a one man stable, EFO, Everyone Fuck Off, but I still never did it for myself. People joined the Everyone Fuck Off movement. And I'm not angry that they did, I love everyone who'd ever had my back and forever will carry them in my heart next to Big Pete.
But now I'm 48 years of age. My legs are bandy, my shoulders are weak, and my hair is greying. But Canada is a new start.
*A taxi screeches and parks up*
(Gaz passes over the money)
Gaz: There's $3,700 there. That's enough for the cab, the flight, and enough for a new shed. You're going home.
Fred: Why I say why? We can keep together, it doesn't, I say, it doesn't have to end, we can, I say, we can stay on top.
Gaz: Because you just have to! You just fucking have to. This is for me, as I said earlier, this is my last hurrah, and it's going to be *my* last hurrah. Get in that fucking Taxi before I knock you out and put you in the boot of it you bald fat prick before i've too many tears in my eyes to see you well enough to kick in the arse....
Fred: We had, I say, we had a good run didn't we?
Gaz: The Best Fred. The Best. Put a pint in for me behind the bar in Llangollen.
Fred: The next time, I say, the next time you come back home, you better, I say you better have some fucking belt around that waist.
Gaz: With the advice I've had off you, It'll be hard not to be a champion. I promise you. I won't go back to Wales without a belt holding my jeans up which I've won. So put the beer in the fridge. I'm determined, fucking mad on it, I will take that NPW heavyweight title. It's going to happen. It'll take a few months, but when I come home and we can have pictures together in the pub, all taking turns wearing it. And my ex will realise I'm not the dogshit she told the solicitor. I'm going to happen. It's going to happen. And while I'm worth my room on this Earth, I'm going to scrap like fuck and hit the top of NPW.
Fred; You're ser, I say, proper serious?
Gaz: Deadly.
(They hug. Fred gets into the Taxi, and a new chapter begins.)
Gaz; Here's where you depart.
Fred: I say, I say, what?
(Gaz reaches into his pocket and pulls out American dollar bills. Some crumpled, some ripped, some covered in glass)
Gaz: Fred, I love you. Love you almost as much as life itself. But I'm a old fuck now. Everything I've done off the rugby pitch - I never did for me, never on my own. When I was a tag team champion of the world, I was carried by Violent Dave. When I was the man who had the monster's number. The only man to every defeat the undefeatable Cole Christenson, I did it twice, but you were at my side telling me how to beat a monster. I played Rugby for 4 years professionally, and reached the biggest heights I could, but I was never satisfied. I wrestled for longer than playing Rugby and I still wasn't satisfied, as I never reached the level I though I could, and I never did it alone.
I started a one man stable, EFO, Everyone Fuck Off, but I still never did it for myself. People joined the Everyone Fuck Off movement. And I'm not angry that they did, I love everyone who'd ever had my back and forever will carry them in my heart next to Big Pete.
But now I'm 48 years of age. My legs are bandy, my shoulders are weak, and my hair is greying. But Canada is a new start.
*A taxi screeches and parks up*
(Gaz passes over the money)
Gaz: There's $3,700 there. That's enough for the cab, the flight, and enough for a new shed. You're going home.
Fred: Why I say why? We can keep together, it doesn't, I say, it doesn't have to end, we can, I say, we can stay on top.
Gaz: Because you just have to! You just fucking have to. This is for me, as I said earlier, this is my last hurrah, and it's going to be *my* last hurrah. Get in that fucking Taxi before I knock you out and put you in the boot of it you bald fat prick before i've too many tears in my eyes to see you well enough to kick in the arse....
Fred: We had, I say, we had a good run didn't we?
Gaz: The Best Fred. The Best. Put a pint in for me behind the bar in Llangollen.
Fred: The next time, I say, the next time you come back home, you better, I say you better have some fucking belt around that waist.
Gaz: With the advice I've had off you, It'll be hard not to be a champion. I promise you. I won't go back to Wales without a belt holding my jeans up which I've won. So put the beer in the fridge. I'm determined, fucking mad on it, I will take that NPW heavyweight title. It's going to happen. It'll take a few months, but when I come home and we can have pictures together in the pub, all taking turns wearing it. And my ex will realise I'm not the dogshit she told the solicitor. I'm going to happen. It's going to happen. And while I'm worth my room on this Earth, I'm going to scrap like fuck and hit the top of NPW.
Fred; You're ser, I say, proper serious?
Gaz: Deadly.
(They hug. Fred gets into the Taxi, and a new chapter begins.)