MYŌJIN
.::XHF Superstar::.
FKA Draven | Former X*Crown Champion | Former XHF JHW Champion
Posts: 836
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Post by MYŌJIN on Mar 17, 2021 0:31:03 GMT -5
Let's cut the shit, 2020 and this year have been on all accounts terrible. A lot of us have had to deal with things I don't think we ever would have imagined. None of us had a pandemic on a bingo card, yeah? Some of us have lost jobs. Some of us have lost loved ones. And luck has just been awful to a lot of us.
So I just wanted to make a thread and just.. Talk. Shoot the shit. Whenever I'm upset I tend to want to talk about it. How was your day? How are you feeling? Are you okay?
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Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Mar 17, 2021 1:27:43 GMT -5
I had pizza for the second time in a year and recently won a shirt war with my wife. I revel in my little victories because the last 10 years have been a slow decline when viewed from an objective standpoint.
BUT BUT
I WON THE SHIRT WAR
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MYŌJIN
.::XHF Superstar::.
FKA Draven | Former X*Crown Champion | Former XHF JHW Champion
Posts: 836
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Post by MYŌJIN on Mar 17, 2021 1:49:02 GMT -5
What's most important is that you won.
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Post by Dylan on Mar 17, 2021 12:42:54 GMT -5
What's a shirt war?
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Post by The Colossus on Mar 17, 2021 14:02:17 GMT -5
Pretty good all things considered. Training is on track for my next 100-mile race, Senior Thesis is coming together, I have my teaching year lined up. The ancillary anxiety is going to require some attention sooner than later as soon as it feels safe to do so. I'd like to get that sorted out again before grad school. I feel like this school year, I have walked the edge of a razor(to quote apocalypse now) and made it through somehow.
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Post by Cross Recoba on Mar 17, 2021 18:17:22 GMT -5
^ Enquiring minds NEED to know!
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Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Mar 17, 2021 18:22:46 GMT -5
^ Enquiring minds NEED to know! So when I came to Korea I brought my own dress shirts (duh). But after getting married my wife put a moratorium on them because the collar style was out of date and most of them are TECHNICOLOR BRIGHT. I like those shirts because they're colorful and fun but whatever, I switched to light blues and whites (boooo). Due to us repeatedly forgetting to get the shirts dry cleaned I ran out- and what was left? The old shirts. It turns out she was ok with some of them now and the shirt she REALLY didn't like (ULTRA BRIGHT RED) got an immediate compliment from one of the executives I work with. After the dry cleaning came back the whole set was no longer banished to the back of the hanger and are now part of the larger shirt selection. They've returned from a ten year exile!
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Post by Jesse Jamester on Mar 17, 2021 22:33:30 GMT -5
So she took the 'If I can't beat them, join them' routine. Good stuff. Those victories are far and few between Mongo.
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Post by Kris on Mar 18, 2021 2:03:46 GMT -5
Well... putting it under a spoilers tag because triggering content. {No, really. Leave it to Kris to get really heavy.}I'm coming up on a decade since... well, since I failed to un-alive myself. It's hard sometimes, even after all the years and counselors and conversations and changes, to remember that recovering from something like that isn't linear and that there's no step-by-step process to follow. There are still times where I can't find the door in the fog, the light that are the people that care for me and that I care for. There's times where I still--shut down, withdraw from the world because it's just hard-coded into me to isolate to protect myself lest certain people who are no longer in my life smell that drop of blood in the water and attack. Hell, there's still moments where ugly old urges resurface and try to guide me toward self-harm again, that I'd be relieving my loved ones of the burden that is me.
The fact that I can't find the scars from the last time I let those urges win is enough. The fact that I'm still here is enough.
...and that's getting easier to accept.
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Kira Izumi
J-ROK Staff
XHF's Resident Weeb
Posts: 5,920
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Post by Kira Izumi on Mar 18, 2021 3:16:07 GMT -5
i've been doing good enough i suppose. i get into sad lad moods at times or really late at night at random times, but other than that it's been a lot better than others out there, so i can't complain too much.
anyways... it's good to hear you won the shirt war this time mongo. bright colors are awesome unless it's like neon yellow. then you look like a highlighter. that's not awesome. happy to have you with us too eli. idr who you are on discord (my memory is really ass sometimes) but you're a cool cat and a dope dawg. hope school stuff works out for you wook and hope you dont have to deal with tons of "bad"/"troublesome" kids this year.
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Post by Kyle on Mar 18, 2021 7:55:02 GMT -5
♫Good times, bad times, you know I've had my share♫
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2021 10:53:07 GMT -5
♫Good times, bad times, you know I've had my share♫ Can't go wrong with a Led Zep reference.
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Post by Dylan on Mar 18, 2021 12:36:04 GMT -5
^ Enquiring minds NEED to know! So when I came to Korea I brought my own dress shirts (duh). But after getting married my wife put a moratorium on them because the collar style was out of date and most of them are TECHNICOLOR BRIGHT. I like those shirts because they're colorful and fun but whatever, I switched to light blues and whites (boooo). Due to us repeatedly forgetting to get the shirts dry cleaned I ran out- and what was left? The old shirts. It turns out she was ok with some of them now and the shirt she REALLY didn't like (ULTRA BRIGHT RED) got an immediate compliment from one of the executives I work with. After the dry cleaning came back the whole set was no longer banished to the back of the hanger and are now part of the larger shirt selection. They've returned from a ten year exile! Woooooo!
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MYŌJIN
.::XHF Superstar::.
FKA Draven | Former X*Crown Champion | Former XHF JHW Champion
Posts: 836
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Post by MYŌJIN on Mar 20, 2021 13:17:42 GMT -5
Pretty good all things considered. Training is on track for my next 100-mile race, Senior Thesis is coming together, I have my teaching year lined up. The ancillary anxiety is going to require some attention sooner than later as soon as it feels safe to do so. I'd like to get that sorted out again before grad school. I feel like this school year, I have walked the edge of a razor(to quote apocalypse now) and made it through somehow. That's awesome to hear!
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MYŌJIN
.::XHF Superstar::.
FKA Draven | Former X*Crown Champion | Former XHF JHW Champion
Posts: 836
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Post by MYŌJIN on Mar 20, 2021 13:24:31 GMT -5
Well... putting it under a spoilers tag because triggering content. {No, really. Leave it to Kris to get really heavy.}I'm coming up on a decade since... well, since I failed to un-alive myself. It's hard sometimes, even after all the years and counselors and conversations and changes, to remember that recovering from something like that isn't linear and that there's no step-by-step process to follow. There are still times where I can't find the door in the fog, the light that are the people that care for me and that I care for. There's times where I still--shut down, withdraw from the world because it's just hard-coded into me to isolate to protect myself lest certain people who are no longer in my life smell that drop of blood in the water and attack. Hell, there's still moments where ugly old urges resurface and try to guide me toward self-harm again, that I'd be relieving my loved ones of the burden that is me.
The fact that I can't find the scars from the last time I let those urges win is enough. The fact that I'm still here is enough.
...and that's getting easier to accept. Content warning ahead. Gonna be talking about the same kinda stuff. Earlier this week, I cut myself three times on the forearm with a kitchen knife. I did it once on Monday then twice on Tuesday. I started out of a mental break and almost instantly got addicted to doing it because it felt like a stress reliever, but I stopped after the second time where my arm was cut BAD and I realized what I was doing to myself.
I called the suicide prevention hotline. As those two nights were the first time I didn't just think about possibly ending it, but a part of me was starting to see it as an actual option. Talked to people I love. Looking for a therapist to talk to.
It's hard. It's really fucking hard. I've dealt with depression since middle school and have done my best to bottle up those feelings until they finally bit me in the ass- but I'm still here, and I'm still holding on. I have people that care about me. I'm learning how to care more for myself and be honest with my emotions. It's a struggle, but like you said, beating those urges and learning to accept and love yourself is more than enough. I've started being much more productive and have spent less time wasting away in bed. I'm trying, you're trying too. And that in itself is a achievement.
Stay strong, Kris. <3
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