[McKinney] Lunges, and/or the sensibility of pro wrestling
Apr 11, 2021 0:01:58 GMT -5
Oh-Oh and The Colossus like this
Post by Old Line Jeff on Apr 11, 2021 0:01:58 GMT -5
Kirsty McKinney had always been proud of her legs. She’d gotten an early start on working them out, when she was still living in the mountains and working on the goat farm. The way an animal’s hooves are worked on is as such - the particular leg being worked on is bent at the knee, and the person working uses their thighs to hold the animal’s leg in place while the hoof is cleaned and, if applicable, shoes are put on. When Kirsty was still in the single digits in age, her parents had taught her the techniques on the tiny little kid goats, and by the time she was in high school she could wrangle the billies as well as anyone.
The other thing that had built her legs up was her middle school wrestling coach. He was a fan of lunges. Like, a really big fan. As hindu squats are to the NJPW dojo, so were lunges to her coach, and wrestling practice generally began with doing lunges around the gymnasium until their legs were burning agony.
Kirsty continues to do lunges as part of her training and, through a combination of teasing and browbeating, she convinced Jeffrey Daniels and Lee Scott Rothlesberger to do lunges with her as part of their prep for their upcoming matches - Lee’s in the main event of Honor, and Jeffrey’s for the upcoming XHF battle royale.
“Dude. Man. Up.” she snapped.
LSR just groaned in pain.
“Chill Kirsty, he’s got a bad knee.” Jeffrey said. Or at least that’s what he attempted to say. It really came out in such a strangled wheeze that he might have been saying anything.
“Alright, alright, we can take a little break… your coaches never seriously made you do this kind of stuff?” Kirsty’s legs were tired too, but there was no way she could’ve been forced to admit it. “My first coach was like… obsessive about exercise. He always used to say it doesn’t matter how good your technique is if you’re too tired or weak to perform the moves properly.”
“Yeah, Ikey Surge said the same thing, but we did different stuff, not just calisthenics.” Jeffrey said. “We did a lot of ladder runs.”
“So many ladder runs.” Lee chimed in.
“Because he said one of the most important things about pro wrestling is control over your feet. Seriously, do you think it’s easy to jump from the ground to the turnbuckle? For starters, most people can’t jump that high. Then you have to make sure you land on the ropes square or you’ll just moonsault yourself back into the ring. We did a lot of ladder runs. We also would just jump off the turnbuckle onto these bullseyes. He wouldn’t let us do anything until we were over 95 percent accurate at landing where we were aiming. Then after that he got out crash pads and we had to do flying splashes at the targets instead.”
“Hmm.” Kirsty said. “Before Jeff left, he would mostly make me do my old wrestling drills with him, said if I was strong enough to do it to him, I could do it to anyone I needed to. Then he’d just drill me on stuff like vertical suplexes and dropkicks.”
“Dropkicks?” Jeffrey was still out of breath, but recovering enough that his voice was clear.
“I told him I thought dropkicks were stupid. Then he told me I needed some kind of move I could do while running, so he drilled me on the diving spinning back elbow.”
“Yeah, that’s a good one for you. You’re a fireplug, you barely have to duck to duck a clothesline. Me, I’m a lanklet, if I’m going to do any kind of strike I need extension and whiplash.”
Kirsty rolled up the hem of her shorts and admired her leg, then rolled her eyes sideways to see if either Jeffrey or Lee were watching.
If they were, they were doing a good job of hiding it.
“You don’t like muscles on a girl?”
Jeffrey sighed through his teeth. “Honestly Kirsty, in this business most people wear briefs, and for every chick thigh you come in contact with, there’s a few dozen manthighs to go along with it. You just learn to not think about it, at all.”
“Surprise you even went there.” Lee chimed in. “Haven’t you technically been wrestling as long as we have? And didn’t you guys wrestle in high school?”
“I technically started in fifth grade, but the first year I wasn’t even allowed to wrestle, it was all working out. Didn’t you guys wrestle a little bit?”
“For a couple years.” Jeffrey said. “We were mostly only there because we wanted to be pro wrestlers, and we both had losing records at the end of the day. Why do you ask?”
“Okay, so, I’m not trying to be disrespectful, you’re both actually mostly pretty cool, but you’re kind of… suburban sissies, sometimes. Like so worried about disrespecting me in training or offending somebody. And I spent so many years doing amateur wrestling and your sport is called pro wrestling even though it’s not even really wrestling at all, and it gets me in... I dunno, the ego? And I grew up in the country and had to have good grades because the woman’s wrestling program at Oklahoma didn’t pay well enough for me to write elementary school papers, I had to actually do my work, and I still got expelled, and you guys just kind of floated through everything just being all about pro wrestling.”
“I respect your life experiences, but-”
“See, that’s that thing I was saying! You’re so…”
“How come you care? I thought you didn’t really like pro wrestling.”
“That’s… the thing.” she said. “I think I’m starting to, but the more I think about it the more I just get confused.”
“Confused? About what?”
“I’ll tell you when I figure out what I’m confused about.” Kirsty said.
The other thing that had built her legs up was her middle school wrestling coach. He was a fan of lunges. Like, a really big fan. As hindu squats are to the NJPW dojo, so were lunges to her coach, and wrestling practice generally began with doing lunges around the gymnasium until their legs were burning agony.
Kirsty continues to do lunges as part of her training and, through a combination of teasing and browbeating, she convinced Jeffrey Daniels and Lee Scott Rothlesberger to do lunges with her as part of their prep for their upcoming matches - Lee’s in the main event of Honor, and Jeffrey’s for the upcoming XHF battle royale.
“Dude. Man. Up.” she snapped.
LSR just groaned in pain.
“Chill Kirsty, he’s got a bad knee.” Jeffrey said. Or at least that’s what he attempted to say. It really came out in such a strangled wheeze that he might have been saying anything.
“Alright, alright, we can take a little break… your coaches never seriously made you do this kind of stuff?” Kirsty’s legs were tired too, but there was no way she could’ve been forced to admit it. “My first coach was like… obsessive about exercise. He always used to say it doesn’t matter how good your technique is if you’re too tired or weak to perform the moves properly.”
“Yeah, Ikey Surge said the same thing, but we did different stuff, not just calisthenics.” Jeffrey said. “We did a lot of ladder runs.”
“So many ladder runs.” Lee chimed in.
“Because he said one of the most important things about pro wrestling is control over your feet. Seriously, do you think it’s easy to jump from the ground to the turnbuckle? For starters, most people can’t jump that high. Then you have to make sure you land on the ropes square or you’ll just moonsault yourself back into the ring. We did a lot of ladder runs. We also would just jump off the turnbuckle onto these bullseyes. He wouldn’t let us do anything until we were over 95 percent accurate at landing where we were aiming. Then after that he got out crash pads and we had to do flying splashes at the targets instead.”
“Hmm.” Kirsty said. “Before Jeff left, he would mostly make me do my old wrestling drills with him, said if I was strong enough to do it to him, I could do it to anyone I needed to. Then he’d just drill me on stuff like vertical suplexes and dropkicks.”
“Dropkicks?” Jeffrey was still out of breath, but recovering enough that his voice was clear.
“I told him I thought dropkicks were stupid. Then he told me I needed some kind of move I could do while running, so he drilled me on the diving spinning back elbow.”
“Yeah, that’s a good one for you. You’re a fireplug, you barely have to duck to duck a clothesline. Me, I’m a lanklet, if I’m going to do any kind of strike I need extension and whiplash.”
Kirsty rolled up the hem of her shorts and admired her leg, then rolled her eyes sideways to see if either Jeffrey or Lee were watching.
If they were, they were doing a good job of hiding it.
“You don’t like muscles on a girl?”
Jeffrey sighed through his teeth. “Honestly Kirsty, in this business most people wear briefs, and for every chick thigh you come in contact with, there’s a few dozen manthighs to go along with it. You just learn to not think about it, at all.”
“Surprise you even went there.” Lee chimed in. “Haven’t you technically been wrestling as long as we have? And didn’t you guys wrestle in high school?”
“I technically started in fifth grade, but the first year I wasn’t even allowed to wrestle, it was all working out. Didn’t you guys wrestle a little bit?”
“For a couple years.” Jeffrey said. “We were mostly only there because we wanted to be pro wrestlers, and we both had losing records at the end of the day. Why do you ask?”
“Okay, so, I’m not trying to be disrespectful, you’re both actually mostly pretty cool, but you’re kind of… suburban sissies, sometimes. Like so worried about disrespecting me in training or offending somebody. And I spent so many years doing amateur wrestling and your sport is called pro wrestling even though it’s not even really wrestling at all, and it gets me in... I dunno, the ego? And I grew up in the country and had to have good grades because the woman’s wrestling program at Oklahoma didn’t pay well enough for me to write elementary school papers, I had to actually do my work, and I still got expelled, and you guys just kind of floated through everything just being all about pro wrestling.”
“I respect your life experiences, but-”
“See, that’s that thing I was saying! You’re so…”
“How come you care? I thought you didn’t really like pro wrestling.”
“That’s… the thing.” she said. “I think I’m starting to, but the more I think about it the more I just get confused.”
“Confused? About what?”
“I’ll tell you when I figure out what I’m confused about.” Kirsty said.