Can You Tell Me How to Get, How to Get to DominiStreet?
May 7, 2021 20:05:42 GMT -5
SWAT Team, bloodiedfox, and 2 more like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on May 7, 2021 20:05:42 GMT -5
*The camera opens up on….felt? Yes! Pink, skin-like felt on the face of…..is that an Eron Hunter muppet? We zoom out to see a fake brick wall (concealing the puppeteers) and a blue sky-like background!*
Eron: Oh wow, NPW is so great, but do you know what would make it more great? A friend with the WARRIOR’S SPIRIT!
*Gross, he’s being voiced by Lord Dominicus. He looks around*
Eron: I said….WARRIOR’S SPIRIT!
*He looks down*
Eron: Psst, that’s your cue!
*Soon he is joined by…LORD DOMINICUS….’s head and shoulders*
LD: Sorry, I didn’t recognize you, did you get a haircut?
*Eron’s puppet does the Kermit the Frog shake/look at the camera*
Eron: Lord Dominicus, our graceful, heroic villainous leader, we must defend Northern Pro Wrestling!
LD: …Why? Everything is fine. I am the Triple Crown champion and nothing is out of my hands!
Eron: Oh?
*The puppet points to the left side of the screen where a very lizard-like Jesse Jamester puppet is looking off to the side, suddenly it turns to the camera and the red X on its forehead is promptly displayed.*
JJ: Raaaaaawr! I’m a lizard! And I’m also really hardcore and probably crazy! VIOLENCE!
*Jamester’s puppet slams its face into the brick wall’s top a few times.*
Eron: We’re not afraid of you, awful lizard thing! You couldn’t even get it done in the Rumble!
LD: Ok, let’s not talk about that part.
JJ: GRAAAAWWWR! I was just getting warmed up then, I only had my X for like two minutes! BUT NOW I AM LIZARD X OF DOOM! All shall be angrily nuzzled by me! But first I must remind you how CRAZY AND EVIL I AM!
*He again bashes his face into the brick wall while growling. Suddenly the top of Dinosaur Bones’ head comes up.*
DB: I am very uncomfortable with this depiction. You realized I used to be a lizard too, right?
Eron: Well ye-
LD: -Sorry, yeah. But you’ve ascended beyond lizardhood! Now you’re uh…
Eron: …Bones?
LD: Yes, bones. Besides, comparing a mighty dinosaur to some dude in a lizard mask is like saying that humans are the same as other lower mammals.
DB: Uh-huh, yes.
*Eron Hunter’s puppet again does the Kermit “this segment is going off the rails” look at the camera*
LD: Ok then, so you’re absolutely better than some guy pretending to be a lizard.
DB: Is he even pretending to do that outside of the mask?
LD: ….JUST READ THE SCRIPT!
DB: Fine fine.
*He again goes below the wall.*
JJ: As I was saying: RAWR! I AM THE LIZARD KING AND SHALL RULE NPW!
Eron: Not while we’re here to stop you! Heroically villainous friends forever!
LD: Or at least until I figure out when I’m supposed to stab you in the back, I know the rules for evil friendship, but heroic friendship is a lot more complicated it seems.
*Suddenly a new player enters the scene! An extra-muppety (read: green-skinned) puppet “walks” in behind and past Jamester’s (who’s currently trying to eat the wall while growling quietly).*
JC: Oh glory be! What a beautiful day! el sol is shining and there’s nothing that could ruin it!
*Yes, we are treated to an awful mix of an over-the-top Irish(?) accident complimented by a very natural Spanish one. It is clear that LD’s Bad to the Bone partners are playing the roles of his upcoming opponents. The Cavanagh muppet looks around.*
JC: ….OI! Why be thar so many other personas here!? I hate friendship!
JJ: RAWR! Me too! I just cut all my ties with friendship the concept and also the friends I had!
Eron: Well, I mean you’re still with The Colossus technically
JJ: TECHNICALLY! But he lacks my X-tensity!
*The puppet gestures to the X on his mask, then bashes his head into the brick some more.*
LD: Stop right there you two scumbags! I am the Northern Pro Wrestling Double Crown and Cruiserweight Champion and I, along with my new Heroic-But-Also-Evil-
Eron: -Just heroic-
LD: -Friend are here to stop you!
JC: La amistad!? Hey boyo! Me and Jesse O’Jamester won’t be havin’ none of that!
JJ: RAWR! We only believe in ourselves!
LD: This week at Scotiabank Centre we’ll overcome your loathness to team up with others!
*Eron’s puppet pulls LD aside.*
Eron: Wait, doesn’t John frequently team with others, and lead a team of his own?
LD: This really isn’t the time to fact-check me, you know that, right?
*At this point the Jamester and Cavanagh puppets look at each other, then the camera- because LD is playing Eron and yet they’re arguing a lot.*
JC: Lookie here, perdoras! Jesse O’Jamester and I have earned our right to NPW after our amazing showing at the Rumble!
JJ: RAWR! I almost won! And next time I’m absolutely the odds-on favorite…probably!
*Eron’s puppet pushes its way past LD and puts a puppet hand right into the puppet chest of Jesse Jamester*
Eron: But you didn’t win! Neither of you did! How can you claim to have a warrior’s spirit when you can’t even win a fifty-man Rumble!?
LD: You lose almost all your matches!
*He suddenly grabs his own mouth; that just came out.*
Eron: Not helping!
JC: Haha, looks like you two potatoes are having trouble conectando!
JJ: RAWR! I have an XTREME love of potatoes when they are made into fries! Let us feast upon fries upon our victory!
JC: Let’s get ‘em, O’Jamester!
*And the puppet fight is on! Jesse and John rush Eron because LD is actually his puppeteer as well. So Eron basically does all the work and punches them away into oblivion. Dominicus then stands up and we get the full view of his hand up Eron’s puppet. He points the puppet hand at the camera.*
LD: Let that be a lesson to you two scumbags! Hunter and I are going to show you how non-evil partnerships work!
Eron: Today’s episode has been sponsored by the letter B-
LD: B-cause we’re gonna kick your butts!
*They laugh as the camera fades.*
Eron: Oh wow, NPW is so great, but do you know what would make it more great? A friend with the WARRIOR’S SPIRIT!
*Gross, he’s being voiced by Lord Dominicus. He looks around*
Eron: I said….WARRIOR’S SPIRIT!
*He looks down*
Eron: Psst, that’s your cue!
*Soon he is joined by…LORD DOMINICUS….’s head and shoulders*
LD: Sorry, I didn’t recognize you, did you get a haircut?
*Eron’s puppet does the Kermit the Frog shake/look at the camera*
Eron: Lord Dominicus, our graceful, heroic villainous leader, we must defend Northern Pro Wrestling!
LD: …Why? Everything is fine. I am the Triple Crown champion and nothing is out of my hands!
Eron: Oh?
*The puppet points to the left side of the screen where a very lizard-like Jesse Jamester puppet is looking off to the side, suddenly it turns to the camera and the red X on its forehead is promptly displayed.*
JJ: Raaaaaawr! I’m a lizard! And I’m also really hardcore and probably crazy! VIOLENCE!
*Jamester’s puppet slams its face into the brick wall’s top a few times.*
Eron: We’re not afraid of you, awful lizard thing! You couldn’t even get it done in the Rumble!
LD: Ok, let’s not talk about that part.
JJ: GRAAAAWWWR! I was just getting warmed up then, I only had my X for like two minutes! BUT NOW I AM LIZARD X OF DOOM! All shall be angrily nuzzled by me! But first I must remind you how CRAZY AND EVIL I AM!
*He again bashes his face into the brick wall while growling. Suddenly the top of Dinosaur Bones’ head comes up.*
DB: I am very uncomfortable with this depiction. You realized I used to be a lizard too, right?
Eron: Well ye-
LD: -Sorry, yeah. But you’ve ascended beyond lizardhood! Now you’re uh…
Eron: …Bones?
LD: Yes, bones. Besides, comparing a mighty dinosaur to some dude in a lizard mask is like saying that humans are the same as other lower mammals.
DB: Uh-huh, yes.
*Eron Hunter’s puppet again does the Kermit “this segment is going off the rails” look at the camera*
LD: Ok then, so you’re absolutely better than some guy pretending to be a lizard.
DB: Is he even pretending to do that outside of the mask?
LD: ….JUST READ THE SCRIPT!
DB: Fine fine.
*He again goes below the wall.*
JJ: As I was saying: RAWR! I AM THE LIZARD KING AND SHALL RULE NPW!
Eron: Not while we’re here to stop you! Heroically villainous friends forever!
LD: Or at least until I figure out when I’m supposed to stab you in the back, I know the rules for evil friendship, but heroic friendship is a lot more complicated it seems.
*Suddenly a new player enters the scene! An extra-muppety (read: green-skinned) puppet “walks” in behind and past Jamester’s (who’s currently trying to eat the wall while growling quietly).*
JC: Oh glory be! What a beautiful day! el sol is shining and there’s nothing that could ruin it!
*Yes, we are treated to an awful mix of an over-the-top Irish(?) accident complimented by a very natural Spanish one. It is clear that LD’s Bad to the Bone partners are playing the roles of his upcoming opponents. The Cavanagh muppet looks around.*
JC: ….OI! Why be thar so many other personas here!? I hate friendship!
JJ: RAWR! Me too! I just cut all my ties with friendship the concept and also the friends I had!
Eron: Well, I mean you’re still with The Colossus technically
JJ: TECHNICALLY! But he lacks my X-tensity!
*The puppet gestures to the X on his mask, then bashes his head into the brick some more.*
LD: Stop right there you two scumbags! I am the Northern Pro Wrestling Double Crown and Cruiserweight Champion and I, along with my new Heroic-But-Also-Evil-
Eron: -Just heroic-
LD: -Friend are here to stop you!
JC: La amistad!? Hey boyo! Me and Jesse O’Jamester won’t be havin’ none of that!
JJ: RAWR! We only believe in ourselves!
LD: This week at Scotiabank Centre we’ll overcome your loathness to team up with others!
*Eron’s puppet pulls LD aside.*
Eron: Wait, doesn’t John frequently team with others, and lead a team of his own?
LD: This really isn’t the time to fact-check me, you know that, right?
*At this point the Jamester and Cavanagh puppets look at each other, then the camera- because LD is playing Eron and yet they’re arguing a lot.*
JC: Lookie here, perdoras! Jesse O’Jamester and I have earned our right to NPW after our amazing showing at the Rumble!
JJ: RAWR! I almost won! And next time I’m absolutely the odds-on favorite…probably!
*Eron’s puppet pushes its way past LD and puts a puppet hand right into the puppet chest of Jesse Jamester*
Eron: But you didn’t win! Neither of you did! How can you claim to have a warrior’s spirit when you can’t even win a fifty-man Rumble!?
LD: You lose almost all your matches!
*He suddenly grabs his own mouth; that just came out.*
Eron: Not helping!
JC: Haha, looks like you two potatoes are having trouble conectando!
JJ: RAWR! I have an XTREME love of potatoes when they are made into fries! Let us feast upon fries upon our victory!
JC: Let’s get ‘em, O’Jamester!
*And the puppet fight is on! Jesse and John rush Eron because LD is actually his puppeteer as well. So Eron basically does all the work and punches them away into oblivion. Dominicus then stands up and we get the full view of his hand up Eron’s puppet. He points the puppet hand at the camera.*
LD: Let that be a lesson to you two scumbags! Hunter and I are going to show you how non-evil partnerships work!
Eron: Today’s episode has been sponsored by the letter B-
LD: B-cause we’re gonna kick your butts!
*They laugh as the camera fades.*
