Post by Steve Awesome on May 23, 2021 19:36:13 GMT -5
The Awesome Reality of Steve Awesome!
The limo pulled into Denny's parking lot and Steve immediately saw all the fanfare. There were signs and billboards advertising his appearance and the front of the lot was filled with fans. The limo pulls around to the back of the building. Steve let’s himself out and hurried inside the back door before too many people notice.
Even though the Denny’s was brand new, it still looked like it was built in the nineties. Soon a tiny egg shaped man comes walking out of the kitchen. He had on suspenders, and shoved a front butt as big as his back butt into his tan khakis. He waddled over to Steve and extended his hand. He could hear him snoring to breathe from six feet away.
“Zzzzguh zzzzguh I’m Dexter Lahey. The zzzguh owner of Denny’s.”
The limo pulled into Denny's parking lot and Steve immediately saw all the fanfare. There were signs and billboards advertising his appearance and the front of the lot was filled with fans. The limo pulls around to the back of the building. Steve let’s himself out and hurried inside the back door before too many people notice.
Even though the Denny’s was brand new, it still looked like it was built in the nineties. Soon a tiny egg shaped man comes walking out of the kitchen. He had on suspenders, and shoved a front butt as big as his back butt into his tan khakis. He waddled over to Steve and extended his hand. He could hear him snoring to breathe from six feet away.
“Zzzzguh zzzzguh I’m Dexter Lahey. The zzzguh owner of Denny’s.”
Steve Awesome
Mildly disgusted
“Maaaan. Sometimes I hate it when I’m right.”
Dexter Lahey
“Proud” owner of Denny’s.
“Zzzzguh zzzguh I’m so happy Steve Awesome is doing this. Zzzzguh zzzguh If this Denny’s thing doesn’t zzzzguh work out...I don’t know what I’ll do.”
He gives a hearty laugh that slowly turns to him holding back tears of panic.
“Proud” owner of Denny’s.
“Zzzzguh zzzguh I’m so happy Steve Awesome is doing this. Zzzzguh zzzguh If this Denny’s thing doesn’t zzzzguh work out...I don’t know what I’ll do.”
He gives a hearty laugh that slowly turns to him holding back tears of panic.
“Well alright….what do you say we get this show on the road and get this place officially opened!”
“Yay!!! Zzzzzzzzzzguh! I’ve been waiting for this moment all my life!”
In that moment Steve suddenly kinda felt bad for him. He just looked so sad and pathetic.
“Zzzzzguh. Can I hold your hand while we’re out there? Zzzzzzguh. I want everyone to know we’re friends.”
Okay. Dexter was creepy again.
“.....no man.”
Dexter lowers his head in sadness.
“Zzzzzguh.”
The crowd roared with excitement behind the red ribbon. You’d think they’d all be excited for the grand opening of the Denny’s on Fifth! Two miles down from the Denny’s on Third. But no. They were there for one person. They were there for the Face of the Franchise. The crowd chanted his name.
“Awe-Some! Awe-Some! Awe-Some!”
Sure enough Steve Awesome comes strutting out the front door with a microphone in hand. The crowd was going wild with excitement for the wrestling legend.
“Ladies and Gentlemen!!! WELCOME TO DENNNNNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYS!!!!”
The crowd roared in excitement for the midwest diner.
“Now soon enough I’m gonna cut this ribbon. And every single one of you will be served grade C breakfast food until you can’t eat anymore! But I want you all to take a minute to think about what else you are going to do. You guys are going to go buy tickets, call your cable provider, you are going to figure out someway to watch the next NPW show.”
He steps forward as the crowd continues to cheer for the star.
“You guys are going to see a specific fatal four way. Where yours truly steps into the ring and wrestles for a shot at the Openweight Championship. Do you guys want to see me win a shot at the Openweight Title!?”
The crowd roars with excitement. As they chant his name.
“Because let me tell you guys. If you buy that ticket, if you buy that cable package to watch NPW at home, if you somehow get your eyes on that match you are going to see some amazing things. You are going to see me crush the dreams of Eron Hunter right before his very eyes. You are going to see me slap some manners into Kieth Williams. And I’m gonna send Joe Ghaven home empty handed…..”
Steve Awesome
Willing to make a deal
...Unless you can get EVK off my ass. Name your price. You want a win? I’ll let you pin Kieth.”
Willing to make a deal
...Unless you can get EVK off my ass. Name your price. You want a win? I’ll let you pin Kieth.”
Steve Awesome continues to hype up the crowd.
“I’m gonna scramble their Denver’s. I’m gonna kick them in the moons and hand them their hammies. And then I’m gonna hit a Grand Slam when I go on to beat D and take the Openweight title!”
The crowd can’t get any louder! Steve looks over at Dexter and gives him a thumbs up. Dexter immediately starts writing out his payment check. Steve was about to cut the ribbon when suddenly he noticed a big plume of smoke shoving its way through the crowd. Soon enough, it makes it to the stage and steps on. It’s Esmeralda Von Krauss.
“Oh you gotta be kidding me! Why are you here!? What do you want!?”
EVK takes a puff from her cigarette.
“I just wanted to share in this special moment with you my dahling. Maybe share in a special meal together.”
Dexter waddles up.
“Zzzzguh. Yeah me too!”
Esmeralda back fists Dexter and he falls to the ground. Steve looks at EVK and then the horde of hungry fans.
“Look I would. But I already ate. So…..see ya-“
Steve cuts the ribbon and darts off. He is immediately lost in the sea of people funneling into Denny’s and shortly you can see the limo he arrived in darting off. EVK tried to chase but it was no use. She clenches a fist and takes a drag from her Egyptian cigarette.
“Damn that tricky bastard. I hate his slimy guts! I could have him killed if I so desired.”
She took another puff and blew it out around her.
“And yet, I desire his seed to be inside me. The perfect child. The perfect heir. I will have my dahling Steve Awesome one way or another.”
“Zzzzzguh. Zzzzzguh. Zzzzguh.”
Dexter pops up behind her just eavesdropping and breathing creepily. She bashes him upside the head, his glasses break, and Dexter collapses to the floor again.
EVK shrugs and walks into Denny’s.
This episode of TAROSA was sponsored by Denny’s.
