Post by Roy "The Sorrow" Harlowe (NJC) on Jun 6, 2021 21:27:31 GMT -5
Neo James Carner is in some rural area bathroom, it's not the cleanest looking joint in town and it's definitely a contrast to the man of opulence Neo James Carner wearing a designer silk shirt in bright vivid fuschia and a designer suit that screams that 70s want Neo James Carner to use this outfit as a time traveling device to relocate himself in the temporal timeline. Anyway, Neo.is in a bathroom cutting a promo ala Raven in the early 90s in ECW days because why not it's Neo's promo.
NJC: "I had the misfortune of viewing the most recent Ronnie Long promotional material and man I gotta tell ya'. Jesus, I thought I was doing him a disservice calling him an old timer. It's the age old adage that you shouldn't mock the elderly in all their wisdom and what have you but man...He kinda did it to himself, don't ya think? Just a little bit?"
Neo says shrugging his shoulders not caring much that he's been pushed to this point.
NJC: "Sitting on the porch with his old lady in a rocking chair talking about the Pepperidge Farm remembers days that have long past. His wife, the glorious GILF that she is, had the audacity to beg her poor broken down husband not to participate in any Deathmatches. And damn, if that didn't inspire me to write a letter to management. I drafted several letters, with an ink quill on a piece of parchment just to keep the OLD TIMEY vibe going that I got from Ronnie."
Neo says pantomiming him, adjusting a monocle in a most regal fashion.
NJC: "I wrote to them begging, and pleading just like Ronnie's probably sex starved wife Deanna does every night, begging to have this match turned into a NO DQ, Barbed Wire Exploding Cage match but they only returned my letter with a phone call asking how I had gotten their home address."
Neo sh
NJC: "They rejected the idea though, they said that Ronnie Long vs Neo James Carner would remain a standard match and there would be no alterations to the rules!"
Neo slaps his hands in frustration barking out his words.
NJC: "Management is already lined up behind you Ronnie! Protecting you! They probably got a gift basket and a bounty of homemade cookies from your wife didn't they!? She's gonna kiss ass to protect you all the time when matches might make you scared!?"
Neo does a little turn and pats his hip.
NJC: "Well if she wants to come around and give my rear end a peck from those beautiful lips of hers, my ass is always ready for her. I'll even let her pick a cheek, ladies choice."
Neo snickers as he can't help but glower into the lens deeper with a furrowed brow. His expression turns from twisted jester to bitter rage. This was a face of a man who was tired of not being taken seriously.
NJC: "That make you mad Grandpa? That make you angry old timer!? Huh? The guy in his thirties is taking shots at the over the hill silver age hero legend? Well imagine how I felt, after witnessing the ATROCITIES of you and your wife chattering on a porch looking like an Activia ad! I was hoping you'd speak on our match, how excited you are to face me. What did I get? Not a damn thing, not a damn word, not even a fucking MENTION! You forget how wrestling works in your time away?"
Neo asks with a pair of arched brows.
NJC: "You forget we have a WRESTLING match coming up? A wrestling MATCH with the GREATEST Professional Wrestler of our time! You listen here and you listen well, I'm Neo James Carner and I'm the best damn thing that's happened to professional wrestling since the invention of the microphone and the wristlock. I'm everything I say I am and ten times better than you THINK you are, were and ever will be in your life Ronnie Long! YOU LONG! But I'm longer! I'm Neo James Carner and there isn't anyone better!"
Neo pulls himself onto the sink counter.
NJC: "Now you remember that, you remember these words vividly as your knees ache quivering to the ring set and ready to face a man who could please your wife properly. You think of that as my knee crashes into your cranium, those arena lights blur and you feel the sweat pouring down the side of your temple. You think of how many bumps are left in your back, how many more concussions you can withstand before you start forgetting dear ol' Deanna's name. See, your career has already peaked and climaxed, I'M ONLY GETTING STARTED!"
Neo says with a pounding fist on his chest.
NJC: "We haven't even gotten to my peak! You remember that and if you need reminding I'm happy to oblige, I'm always happy to help our elderly! You be sure to bring that ol spirit I used to root on! You be sure to bring that faded former glory with you because I KNOW how good you USED to be! Now if you try to unleash that former energy on me?"
Neo adjusts his hair out his face and puts on a pair of expensive designer framed sun glasses.
NJC: " Well...I'll be sure to make that next retirement of yours last PERMANENTLY! Quote this ReVenant, nevermore."
Neo says making a hand V as he looks at his surroundings with a disgusted look upon his visage, tugs on the collar of his coat and makes his way out through the door exiting the frame bringing this promo to a close.
EnD
NJC: "I had the misfortune of viewing the most recent Ronnie Long promotional material and man I gotta tell ya'. Jesus, I thought I was doing him a disservice calling him an old timer. It's the age old adage that you shouldn't mock the elderly in all their wisdom and what have you but man...He kinda did it to himself, don't ya think? Just a little bit?"
Neo says shrugging his shoulders not caring much that he's been pushed to this point.
NJC: "Sitting on the porch with his old lady in a rocking chair talking about the Pepperidge Farm remembers days that have long past. His wife, the glorious GILF that she is, had the audacity to beg her poor broken down husband not to participate in any Deathmatches. And damn, if that didn't inspire me to write a letter to management. I drafted several letters, with an ink quill on a piece of parchment just to keep the OLD TIMEY vibe going that I got from Ronnie."
Neo says pantomiming him, adjusting a monocle in a most regal fashion.
NJC: "I wrote to them begging, and pleading just like Ronnie's probably sex starved wife Deanna does every night, begging to have this match turned into a NO DQ, Barbed Wire Exploding Cage match but they only returned my letter with a phone call asking how I had gotten their home address."
Neo sh
NJC: "They rejected the idea though, they said that Ronnie Long vs Neo James Carner would remain a standard match and there would be no alterations to the rules!"
Neo slaps his hands in frustration barking out his words.
NJC: "Management is already lined up behind you Ronnie! Protecting you! They probably got a gift basket and a bounty of homemade cookies from your wife didn't they!? She's gonna kiss ass to protect you all the time when matches might make you scared!?"
Neo does a little turn and pats his hip.
NJC: "Well if she wants to come around and give my rear end a peck from those beautiful lips of hers, my ass is always ready for her. I'll even let her pick a cheek, ladies choice."
Neo snickers as he can't help but glower into the lens deeper with a furrowed brow. His expression turns from twisted jester to bitter rage. This was a face of a man who was tired of not being taken seriously.
NJC: "That make you mad Grandpa? That make you angry old timer!? Huh? The guy in his thirties is taking shots at the over the hill silver age hero legend? Well imagine how I felt, after witnessing the ATROCITIES of you and your wife chattering on a porch looking like an Activia ad! I was hoping you'd speak on our match, how excited you are to face me. What did I get? Not a damn thing, not a damn word, not even a fucking MENTION! You forget how wrestling works in your time away?"
Neo asks with a pair of arched brows.
NJC: "You forget we have a WRESTLING match coming up? A wrestling MATCH with the GREATEST Professional Wrestler of our time! You listen here and you listen well, I'm Neo James Carner and I'm the best damn thing that's happened to professional wrestling since the invention of the microphone and the wristlock. I'm everything I say I am and ten times better than you THINK you are, were and ever will be in your life Ronnie Long! YOU LONG! But I'm longer! I'm Neo James Carner and there isn't anyone better!"
Neo pulls himself onto the sink counter.
NJC: "Now you remember that, you remember these words vividly as your knees ache quivering to the ring set and ready to face a man who could please your wife properly. You think of that as my knee crashes into your cranium, those arena lights blur and you feel the sweat pouring down the side of your temple. You think of how many bumps are left in your back, how many more concussions you can withstand before you start forgetting dear ol' Deanna's name. See, your career has already peaked and climaxed, I'M ONLY GETTING STARTED!"
Neo says with a pounding fist on his chest.
NJC: "We haven't even gotten to my peak! You remember that and if you need reminding I'm happy to oblige, I'm always happy to help our elderly! You be sure to bring that ol spirit I used to root on! You be sure to bring that faded former glory with you because I KNOW how good you USED to be! Now if you try to unleash that former energy on me?"
Neo adjusts his hair out his face and puts on a pair of expensive designer framed sun glasses.
NJC: " Well...I'll be sure to make that next retirement of yours last PERMANENTLY! Quote this ReVenant, nevermore."
Neo says making a hand V as he looks at his surroundings with a disgusted look upon his visage, tugs on the collar of his coat and makes his way out through the door exiting the frame bringing this promo to a close.
EnD
