[Long] I think he's making things up
Jun 6, 2021 21:34:43 GMT -5
Roy "The Sorrow" Harlowe (NJC), Oh-Oh, and 2 more like this
Post by Old Line Jeff on Jun 6, 2021 21:34:43 GMT -5
“Two minutes, Mr. Long.”
“Thanks, I’m good.”
“Not a bad crowd for the 2020s. I mean, I remember back in the days when the undercard guys could get a crowd this size without a promoter’s help, but it’s good for the 2020s.”
“Maybe they’re just interested in hearing you talk for yourself.” Deanna smirked at him. Used to the Georgia warmth, she was dressed in stylish jogging pants and a matching hoodie. “Instead of…”
“Nope.” Ronnie held up one finger. “We are not going to mention him by name tonight.”
“You know, the last thing I want to do when I’m just getting back into the game is get into the old argument of ‘my feds were good but your feds all sucked’. I mean, really. Even if I wanted to undercut my opponent, which I don’t necessarily, it still seems pretty disrespectful to, oh, everybody else in those promotions. Probably, if Nuwave Jayne Correia - oh, the ‘deliberately getting your opponent’s name wrong’ bit isn’t funny anymore and is in fact the most trite thing since references to sliced bread? Well, Neo James Carner then. Anyway, dismissing old promotions is disrespectful, and even though 99% of the people in those promotions are far too retired to care, the way I see it, Carner and I have one interfed in common. The XHF. I checked the list of current and former GLOBAL tag champs. The X*Crown too. Didn’t see his name there. So, as far as I’m concerned, that makes the two of us even.”
A polite murmur of agreement from the assembled press.
“Now, I’ve been asked about whether I actually gave Neo James the cold shoulder when he asked for an autograph. I do not remember such an incident. But 2014, that was when I was working DEFIANCE. I was not a good guy at the time. Since I both assume and hope no one here was watching. I had a shovel, and I was just about to hit a female wrestler with it. DEF did intergender, she was a legit match participant. But still. I raised the shovel to swing and I… saw myself in God’s eyes, I suppose. I threw it in the opposite direction, walked out on the match and directly to the head of talent relations’ office and resigned. The reason I tell this story? Normally I would be very embarrassed to overlook a fan, but if Neo James saw the person I was at the time and decided he wanted that person’s autograph, I am not particularly sorry.”
Again, murmuring voices.
“I’m a little confused on the timeline. He debuted 20 years ago and never heard of the places I was in, but he was looking for my autograph only a little over 5? Guys, between you and me, I think there’s something of a possibility that he’s…”
Dramatic pause.
“Making stuff up.”
Laughter.
“Smug little zoomer that he is. Look, I own a smart phone. Don’t like it all that much, but it’s mine. If it helps me relate to the kids, though, I’ll buy a protector with some pokeymans on it. Kids still like pokey man, right?”
Many voices speak, several correcting the pronunciation of ‘pokémon.’
“No, I - look, moving on, and getting a little bit more serious.”
“I know that Carner, along with Williams and Garcia, have been raising hell in the XHF for a while. AWF was very, very, very faintly on my radar back last summer. And I remember being part of a hell-raising foursome myself.”
“Kai Scott was the brilliant one. He always said his favorite victories were the ones where he didn’t have to do any wrestling moves.”
“Heidi Christenson was the one who hurt people. She had the best mat game I’ve ever seen, kicked like a mule, and men twice her size were legitimately afraid of her.”
“Jeff Andrews… well, you don’t explain Jeff Andrews. You just bear witness to Jeff Andrews.”
“And I was trying to be the glue holding three psychopaths together because I thought, you know, they’d been my friends for over a decade - well, Andrews and Heidi had, not Scott so much - but if I just had their backs right, I could pull them back from the brink.”
“Didn’t work that way. They were pulling me towards it, and like I said a bit ago, I realized at the last second what I was becoming, and I quit the business cold turkey.”
“But now, with the ReVenants? I’m not going to try and put my old group over while putting them down. I know OF the ReVenants. I haven’t followed their antics and escapades in detail. But I do know one thing. The only way to stop groups of affiliated malcontents from rampaging through a wrestling promotion… is to hit them.”
Laughter from the assembled.
“And as it turns out, I’m pretty good at hitting people. With my arm. I just stick my arm out and clobber them with it, and they don’t get back up. Sometimes they just start twitching, or foaming at the mouth. James Carner already found this out the hard way.”
“Well, if he’s salty about me putting a stop to his group’s rambling, wait until I actually beat him in a wrestling match. We’re talking critical sodium overload. I’ve got some for Williams and Garcia if they think they’re going to stop me, too.”
“That’s about all I’ve got, so come see the show and you all should be seeing me with Carlson and Stevens in trios action pretty soon.”
End.
“Thanks, I’m good.”
Ronnie Long pulled his hair back in a loose ponytail, then checked his reflection. No problems. It was pretty difficult to screw up grey jeans and a trench coat. A rumble of voices out in the small gymnasium.
“Maybe they’re just interested in hearing you talk for yourself.” Deanna smirked at him. Used to the Georgia warmth, she was dressed in stylish jogging pants and a matching hoodie. “Instead of…”
“Nope.” Ronnie held up one finger. “We are not going to mention him by name tonight.”
“You know, the last thing I want to do when I’m just getting back into the game is get into the old argument of ‘my feds were good but your feds all sucked’. I mean, really. Even if I wanted to undercut my opponent, which I don’t necessarily, it still seems pretty disrespectful to, oh, everybody else in those promotions. Probably, if Nuwave Jayne Correia - oh, the ‘deliberately getting your opponent’s name wrong’ bit isn’t funny anymore and is in fact the most trite thing since references to sliced bread? Well, Neo James Carner then. Anyway, dismissing old promotions is disrespectful, and even though 99% of the people in those promotions are far too retired to care, the way I see it, Carner and I have one interfed in common. The XHF. I checked the list of current and former GLOBAL tag champs. The X*Crown too. Didn’t see his name there. So, as far as I’m concerned, that makes the two of us even.”
A polite murmur of agreement from the assembled press.
“Now, I’ve been asked about whether I actually gave Neo James the cold shoulder when he asked for an autograph. I do not remember such an incident. But 2014, that was when I was working DEFIANCE. I was not a good guy at the time. Since I both assume and hope no one here was watching. I had a shovel, and I was just about to hit a female wrestler with it. DEF did intergender, she was a legit match participant. But still. I raised the shovel to swing and I… saw myself in God’s eyes, I suppose. I threw it in the opposite direction, walked out on the match and directly to the head of talent relations’ office and resigned. The reason I tell this story? Normally I would be very embarrassed to overlook a fan, but if Neo James saw the person I was at the time and decided he wanted that person’s autograph, I am not particularly sorry.”
Again, murmuring voices.
“I’m a little confused on the timeline. He debuted 20 years ago and never heard of the places I was in, but he was looking for my autograph only a little over 5? Guys, between you and me, I think there’s something of a possibility that he’s…”
Dramatic pause.
“Making stuff up.”
Laughter.
“Smug little zoomer that he is. Look, I own a smart phone. Don’t like it all that much, but it’s mine. If it helps me relate to the kids, though, I’ll buy a protector with some pokeymans on it. Kids still like pokey man, right?”
Many voices speak, several correcting the pronunciation of ‘pokémon.’
“No, I - look, moving on, and getting a little bit more serious.”
“I know that Carner, along with Williams and Garcia, have been raising hell in the XHF for a while. AWF was very, very, very faintly on my radar back last summer. And I remember being part of a hell-raising foursome myself.”
“Kai Scott was the brilliant one. He always said his favorite victories were the ones where he didn’t have to do any wrestling moves.”
“Heidi Christenson was the one who hurt people. She had the best mat game I’ve ever seen, kicked like a mule, and men twice her size were legitimately afraid of her.”
“Jeff Andrews… well, you don’t explain Jeff Andrews. You just bear witness to Jeff Andrews.”
“And I was trying to be the glue holding three psychopaths together because I thought, you know, they’d been my friends for over a decade - well, Andrews and Heidi had, not Scott so much - but if I just had their backs right, I could pull them back from the brink.”
“Didn’t work that way. They were pulling me towards it, and like I said a bit ago, I realized at the last second what I was becoming, and I quit the business cold turkey.”
“But now, with the ReVenants? I’m not going to try and put my old group over while putting them down. I know OF the ReVenants. I haven’t followed their antics and escapades in detail. But I do know one thing. The only way to stop groups of affiliated malcontents from rampaging through a wrestling promotion… is to hit them.”
Laughter from the assembled.
“And as it turns out, I’m pretty good at hitting people. With my arm. I just stick my arm out and clobber them with it, and they don’t get back up. Sometimes they just start twitching, or foaming at the mouth. James Carner already found this out the hard way.”
“Well, if he’s salty about me putting a stop to his group’s rambling, wait until I actually beat him in a wrestling match. We’re talking critical sodium overload. I’ve got some for Williams and Garcia if they think they’re going to stop me, too.”
“That’s about all I’ve got, so come see the show and you all should be seeing me with Carlson and Stevens in trios action pretty soon.”
End.