ReV It Up In The Laundromat - NJC #1

[Roy "The Sorrow" Harlowe (NJC)]

Time: 7pm Your Local Laundromat

Neo and Rob are set up in a laundromat for an autograph signing complete with a cardboard cutout of Oxford Osland set up right next to Neo James Carner who forced me to write that out completely.

NJC: "Jeff has lost it, why is he booking us at laundromats!? We're world class wrestlers and we're moonlighting autographs in a laundry mat!?"

Rob: "He said it was to help us get into the minds of our opponents Spin Cycle. Plus they gave us a free wash card for life, we never have to pay to wash laundry again!"

NJC: "I have a washing machine in my house, like a real adult. And I've seen a few episodes of Looney Tunes with the Tasmanian Devil, I'm pretty sure I know how a Spin Cycle works."

Rob: "I mean those two things don't really correlate."

Neo scratches his chin.

NJC: "Well neither do our opponents and a laundry mat. Unless they're detergent enthusiasts Rob."

Rob rubs his chin and shrugs his shoulders.

Rob: "Look, I'm more interested in getting my new video game franchise going. You know? Ghost of Garcia, where Rob defends the honor of the Revenants by doing the laundry properly not mixing the darks with the lights. And using bleach the way the samurai intended it to be."

Neo narrows his eyes at his tag partner for the upcoming honor show.

NJC: "You've been playing that video game a little too much lately."

Rob waves his hands in a dismissive fashion.

Rob: "Nah man, I just finished it recently. Trying to finish my library of games. Why are we in a laundry mat!? And why do people keep paying you to take photos with the Oxford cardboard cut out?"

Neo slams his fists into the autograph table.

NJC: "Right!? You noticed that too!? He lasted longer than me at Call At Arms and now everyone wants to take photos with it. I've maybe signed two autographs my entire time here, and that was for my pizza receipt and the agreement contract we had with the laundry mat. I don't know what Jeff was thinking of booking us here. We need to be ready to stomp out the Stomp Cycle!"

Rob punches his fist into his open palm.

Rob: "That's what I'm saying, let's get out of here and watch some tapes."

A fan walks up pointing at the Oxford Osland cardboard cut out asking for a photo. Neo rolls his eyes and groans loudly.

NJC: "Why wouldn't you want a photo with me!? I'm Neo James Carner damn it! I held multiple titles in AWF!"

The fan puts down the cash amount needed for a photo with the Oxford cutout. Neo sighs as he waves over Jeff Noon who has a polaroid camera strung over his neck.

Jeff: "Wow that makes like 32 today!"

Neo stands up and saunters over to Rob who is perched upon a laundry machine as the two continue their conversation in front of some vending machines.

NJC: "Look, this is a pretty big opportunity we got coming up here. I know that you and I haven't had the best bouts of luck and it would be in our greatest interest to come out the winners here. We got to take this march as seriously as we can, this is our HONOR on the line! In the main event of the evening doing everything we can to put the respect on The ReVenant name! We've beaten the best and we've stood in the embers of people's burnt out careers. Spin Cycle? They aren't going to know what hit them, we're going to put our focus on the mountaintop before us and seize victory for ourselves. Keith has done a wonderful job holding the fort down in our stead and same with Oxford obviously."

Neo says watching two more groups of fans turn up for a picture with the Oxford cardboard cutout. Neo bites his thumb, obviously the thirsty gloryhound could see his limelight perhaps flickering? Despite the fact he's been a career villain his entire time, it appears Neo's lunacy is a delusion that people actually like him.

NJC: "You think we made a mistake letting the heat die down after we departed AWF? I mean my last few matches have been defeat after defeat. Maybe Jitterman put a hex on me or something…"

Rob waves his hands as he shakes his head.

Rob: "Nah nah, cut that hocus pocus BS out. That ain't what's happening."

Rob rolls his eyes as he gives Neo a pat of assurance on the shoulder to settle the butterflies in Neo' s nervous stomach.

NJC: "Right! Just like that prison not being haunted or Call To Arms taking place in a prison and not in a wrestling ring, it's not real! We're better than that, we ain't going to let a washer machine function beat us!"

A man with a moose costume walks up, throwing the outfit into a washing machine while still wearing the giant foam head still on his shoulders with a tank top and basketball shorts.

Rob: "Is that a Moose?"

NJC: " I feel like there's a big meaning here for us Rob, we can't be getting distracted with a moose! We gotta focus on delivering a message to Spin Cycle and every other chuckle fuck that shuffles up thinking they can try to steamroll through us without feeling the immense consequences of our violence! We need to beat the respect into people, they need to know what it means to be a ReVenant!!"

Rob slaps hands with Neo and nods his head in agreement.

Rob: "Now you're speaking my language! Let's get the hell out of here!"

Neo and Rob saunter out of the laundry mat as Jeff Noon takes pictures of fans with Oxford Osland Cardboard Cutout.