Post by Frank Windsor on Jul 9, 2021 16:51:11 GMT -5
Frank sat in his hotel room the best that this town could provide which to be honest wasn’t much but as Rob Riot was paying for he didn’t really care. The remote control was in his left hand, flipping through the channels on his television. He could not sleep, and he hadn’t been able to eat much since finding out about his debuting tag match with his long-time partner Rob Riot. His diet to get him back into his prime wrestling weight wasn’t going to well especially as he was just sat in a pair of leopard print underwear and his GCW World Heavyweight Championship belt which managed to cover his modesty.
The Network had sent him a memo about his use of swearing on any of their shows be it in matches or lead up to ones. Frank was tempted just to take a pic of his ass on a photocopier and send that to them but they’d probably get a load of them from the next XHF Xmas party, especially when Fowler’s involved. Fuck them all!
So he sat on the couch and tried to focus on the television, but that did not work. He could do something to for the next show and get Finn to upload it to the website. Standing up he reached behind the couch and pulled out what could only be described at a cardboard cut-out of Rob Riot. He set it up next to him and sets up his camera on the table in front of himself and pressed record.
“Coming back after all this time off at the XHF Call to Arms pay per view had been a bit fucking weird,” Frank muttered. “I’m slightly out of it because of this Covid shit. The government in the UK locked us down and I was unable to fucking wrestle which is one of my passions. Some say that due to this that I’ve let myself go a bit but I don’t fucking see it as when I look in the mirror all I see is my usual fucking sexy self. I may have put a little Covid weight but not enough that you’d fucking notice. Those that say different it’s no skin off my fucking ball sack but they can flap their flaky gums all they like.”
He smirked as he continued.
“Those cock wombles didn’t work out after watching the Bastards little video that we were actually in the goddamn arena,” he said. “They thought that me, Riot and the Ghost of Billy Fowler were still in sunny Blackpool trying to get back into fucking fighting shape for our wrestling debut at this little company. But we swerved their fucking asses when we came out at the end to throw some kind of curve ball and join up with the other members of the Galactic Sex Pirates by fucking shit up. Riot will tell you that, that is what we’re good at. Covid totally fucked it up for me as all I could do was train at home and because some little shit burst my bouncy castle and cut the string on my swing ball that was sorely hampered and don’t get me started on my attempts to chase the fucking chicken around my back garden. How was I to know that it couldn’t be a frozen chicken from fucking Tesco’s?”
Frank pushed his hair behind his ears.
“Me and my old buddy Riot make our in ring debut this week against a couple of muppets that goes by the moniker of the Revenants?” he asked. “OH; Now that fucking explains why Riot wanted me to dress up like fucking Bungle from an episode of Rainbow earlier. Anyway back on track Frank. The Revenants are a team of Rob Garcia and some punk that thinks it’s all cool to live with the name of the Great White Terror? What is this? Did you really call yourself that? Well tickle ma fucking belly and call me Alfred, you did? Keith, you want to be part of the fucking Klan? Great White Terror, now that’s a bit Confederate, deep South, a bit like you want to go out with your buddies and drink beers in your pick-up truck and drive around until you find some lone guy walking around the wrong part of town and lynch the bastard, no pun intended Keith. You really are a double flusher Keith bro!”
He continued.
“I’m playing with you Keith as you’re not some ignorant redneck in real life right?” Frank asked. “You can’t be living this gimmick of the Great White Terror in real life right? I jest with you fucker as that what Frank Windsor does. It’s not your fault Keith, you should be like Frank Windsor mate then you’d be able to get women as wet as Rod Hull’s roof.”
He nodded as he knew what he was saying could be thought of as being controversial.
“The Bastards are what we are all about. We all know that Fowler’s sex life is like an elephant nudging a tree,” Frank said. “You know like his trunk suffers from brewer’s droop bro which is why the fucker faked his own death. When I first met Rob he tried to run away from me by saying he was going to empty one’s beer sack; but the three of us are like brothers really.”
Frank shrugged as he continued.
“How are we going to do in this match with the Revenant?” Frank asked himself. “I don’t want to fart on one’s Weetabix but have you seen who we are? We are the fucking Bastards; we may be a part of the Galactic Sex Pirates but at the end of the day the Bastards are what people will be paying their money for; well hopefully their using their cards as you don’t know what fucking germs are on those coins. Anyway I need to get ready as we all know one thing………It’s coming home, IT’s COMING FUCKING HOME!!”
The Network had sent him a memo about his use of swearing on any of their shows be it in matches or lead up to ones. Frank was tempted just to take a pic of his ass on a photocopier and send that to them but they’d probably get a load of them from the next XHF Xmas party, especially when Fowler’s involved. Fuck them all!
So he sat on the couch and tried to focus on the television, but that did not work. He could do something to for the next show and get Finn to upload it to the website. Standing up he reached behind the couch and pulled out what could only be described at a cardboard cut-out of Rob Riot. He set it up next to him and sets up his camera on the table in front of himself and pressed record.
“Coming back after all this time off at the XHF Call to Arms pay per view had been a bit fucking weird,” Frank muttered. “I’m slightly out of it because of this Covid shit. The government in the UK locked us down and I was unable to fucking wrestle which is one of my passions. Some say that due to this that I’ve let myself go a bit but I don’t fucking see it as when I look in the mirror all I see is my usual fucking sexy self. I may have put a little Covid weight but not enough that you’d fucking notice. Those that say different it’s no skin off my fucking ball sack but they can flap their flaky gums all they like.”
He smirked as he continued.
“Those cock wombles didn’t work out after watching the Bastards little video that we were actually in the goddamn arena,” he said. “They thought that me, Riot and the Ghost of Billy Fowler were still in sunny Blackpool trying to get back into fucking fighting shape for our wrestling debut at this little company. But we swerved their fucking asses when we came out at the end to throw some kind of curve ball and join up with the other members of the Galactic Sex Pirates by fucking shit up. Riot will tell you that, that is what we’re good at. Covid totally fucked it up for me as all I could do was train at home and because some little shit burst my bouncy castle and cut the string on my swing ball that was sorely hampered and don’t get me started on my attempts to chase the fucking chicken around my back garden. How was I to know that it couldn’t be a frozen chicken from fucking Tesco’s?”
Frank pushed his hair behind his ears.
“Me and my old buddy Riot make our in ring debut this week against a couple of muppets that goes by the moniker of the Revenants?” he asked. “OH; Now that fucking explains why Riot wanted me to dress up like fucking Bungle from an episode of Rainbow earlier. Anyway back on track Frank. The Revenants are a team of Rob Garcia and some punk that thinks it’s all cool to live with the name of the Great White Terror? What is this? Did you really call yourself that? Well tickle ma fucking belly and call me Alfred, you did? Keith, you want to be part of the fucking Klan? Great White Terror, now that’s a bit Confederate, deep South, a bit like you want to go out with your buddies and drink beers in your pick-up truck and drive around until you find some lone guy walking around the wrong part of town and lynch the bastard, no pun intended Keith. You really are a double flusher Keith bro!”
He continued.
“I’m playing with you Keith as you’re not some ignorant redneck in real life right?” Frank asked. “You can’t be living this gimmick of the Great White Terror in real life right? I jest with you fucker as that what Frank Windsor does. It’s not your fault Keith, you should be like Frank Windsor mate then you’d be able to get women as wet as Rod Hull’s roof.”
He nodded as he knew what he was saying could be thought of as being controversial.
“The Bastards are what we are all about. We all know that Fowler’s sex life is like an elephant nudging a tree,” Frank said. “You know like his trunk suffers from brewer’s droop bro which is why the fucker faked his own death. When I first met Rob he tried to run away from me by saying he was going to empty one’s beer sack; but the three of us are like brothers really.”
Frank shrugged as he continued.
“How are we going to do in this match with the Revenant?” Frank asked himself. “I don’t want to fart on one’s Weetabix but have you seen who we are? We are the fucking Bastards; we may be a part of the Galactic Sex Pirates but at the end of the day the Bastards are what people will be paying their money for; well hopefully their using their cards as you don’t know what fucking germs are on those coins. Anyway I need to get ready as we all know one thing………It’s coming home, IT’s COMING FUCKING HOME!!”