Post by Dave D-Flipz on Jul 22, 2021 20:34:36 GMT -5
Reacquiring transmission ...
Reacquiring transmission ...
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~Transmission Restored~
*We open again on the three Borgmigos sitting in the mall food court. Evil has his head firmly planted face first onto the table out of exhaustion ... and frustration ... exhaustration! Heavy Metal is deep in thought ... and eating Orange Chicken from Panda Express ... HOW EVIL! Mecha-Goldbear II is happily sipping WD-40 from a large novelty curly bendy straw.*
: Happiness levels at 99% and climbing.
: *muffled by the table* Well it warms my heart that you have managed to enjoy yourself today. I am having an existential crisis and I'm not even the one of us who was a disembodied spirit for over nine years ... I need to either become good at being good or reacquire my evilness! It is my raison d'etre!
: Surrender to reason ...
: Yes I have tried but as you have plainly seen, I am not good at good and despite being in possession of my evil, Venom and his buddy Commissioner Mueller have somehow managed to retain all of their popularity and cool factor!
*HM raises his finger in a eureka moment!*
: WOOOOOOOOOOOOP!
*He leaps up and runs to the escalator.*
: Highway to the DANGER ZONE!
*His voice trails off as he vanishes. Evil Borg stands up and looks around. He begrudgingly trudges off to do more good deeds. He approaches a little girl by a fountain and offers her a quarter. She happily takes it and makes a wish and raises her arm to throw it when suddenly a vintage Young Guns t-shirt hits her back and she falls into the fountain. A security guard looks up and sees a smoking t-shirt gun on the railing of the second level but nobody there.*
Paul Blart: What? Who did that!? This is a travesty. I am on the case!
*Evil Borg now walks over to a young boy who seems to have let go of his balloon and it is stuck under the doorway to GameStop just out of his reach. EB grabs it and hands it to him ... and as soon as he turns to walk away the balloon explodes as a Venom Wrestle Buddy falls from the second floor with glued to it.*
Paul Blart: *out of breath running to the kid* ... A pattern. Another wrestling item. I'm getting closer! This evil will not stand.
*Evil Borg is starting to sense the suspicious things happening. And rather than feel better he is confused. Is he being good or evil right now ... Either way he walks up to an old man and is about to talk to the lonely man when a Young Guns collector Mug crashes into his back and Evil accidentally headbutts the old man.*
: Gah! Who did that? What is going on? I am focusing on defeating Venom ... and by extension Mueller and Heart and Soul ... and regaining my status, my golden pants holder-uppers, and my EVIL and this is MOST distracting. Mecha Gold- .... .where is he?
: Access to masters, 0% ...
*He is stuck in the elevator and is rocking back and forth inside trying to free himself but is only destroying the elevator and making it not run even more!*
Paul Blart: *Approaching Evil Borg, he picks up the mug and then sees the old man.* I knew it! Only someone with a pure black heart could do this. HOW EVIL!
: What ... YES! Evil! I am evil! Yes I am! HAHAHAHAHA!
Paul Blart: NOT YOU! These incidents are clearly the work of the evilest man alive ... VENOM!
*HM leaps from the upper floor ... with t-shirt gun residue on his shoulder, paint from the mug on his hand, and the tag from the wrestlebuddy stuck to his mask. He approaches and sees Evil Borg fall to the floor in exasperation.*
: This will obviously only remedy itself when i extract the evil from Venom bit by bit with my own two hands. CURSES!
: Woop? ....
~End Transmission~
Reacquiring transmission ...
Reacquiring transmission ...
~Transmission Restored~
*We open again on the three Borgmigos sitting in the mall food court. Evil has his head firmly planted face first onto the table out of exhaustion ... and frustration ... exhaustration! Heavy Metal is deep in thought ... and eating Orange Chicken from Panda Express ... HOW EVIL! Mecha-Goldbear II is happily sipping WD-40 from a large novelty curly bendy straw.*
: Happiness levels at 99% and climbing. : *muffled by the table* Well it warms my heart that you have managed to enjoy yourself today. I am having an existential crisis and I'm not even the one of us who was a disembodied spirit for over nine years ... I need to either become good at being good or reacquire my evilness! It is my raison d'etre! : Surrender to reason ... : Yes I have tried but as you have plainly seen, I am not good at good and despite being in possession of my evil, Venom and his buddy Commissioner Mueller have somehow managed to retain all of their popularity and cool factor!*HM raises his finger in a eureka moment!*
: WOOOOOOOOOOOOP!*He leaps up and runs to the escalator.*
: Highway to the DANGER ZONE!*His voice trails off as he vanishes. Evil Borg stands up and looks around. He begrudgingly trudges off to do more good deeds. He approaches a little girl by a fountain and offers her a quarter. She happily takes it and makes a wish and raises her arm to throw it when suddenly a vintage Young Guns t-shirt hits her back and she falls into the fountain. A security guard looks up and sees a smoking t-shirt gun on the railing of the second level but nobody there.*
Paul Blart: What? Who did that!? This is a travesty. I am on the case!
*Evil Borg now walks over to a young boy who seems to have let go of his balloon and it is stuck under the doorway to GameStop just out of his reach. EB grabs it and hands it to him ... and as soon as he turns to walk away the balloon explodes as a Venom Wrestle Buddy falls from the second floor with glued to it.*
Paul Blart: *out of breath running to the kid* ... A pattern. Another wrestling item. I'm getting closer! This evil will not stand.
*Evil Borg is starting to sense the suspicious things happening. And rather than feel better he is confused. Is he being good or evil right now ... Either way he walks up to an old man and is about to talk to the lonely man when a Young Guns collector Mug crashes into his back and Evil accidentally headbutts the old man.*
: Gah! Who did that? What is going on? I am focusing on defeating Venom ... and by extension Mueller and Heart and Soul ... and regaining my status, my golden pants holder-uppers, and my EVIL and this is MOST distracting. Mecha Gold- .... .where is he? : Access to masters, 0% ...*He is stuck in the elevator and is rocking back and forth inside trying to free himself but is only destroying the elevator and making it not run even more!*
Paul Blart: *Approaching Evil Borg, he picks up the mug and then sees the old man.* I knew it! Only someone with a pure black heart could do this. HOW EVIL!
: What ... YES! Evil! I am evil! Yes I am! HAHAHAHAHA!Paul Blart: NOT YOU! These incidents are clearly the work of the evilest man alive ... VENOM!
*HM leaps from the upper floor ... with t-shirt gun residue on his shoulder, paint from the mug on his hand, and the tag from the wrestlebuddy stuck to his mask. He approaches and sees Evil Borg fall to the floor in exasperation.*
: This will obviously only remedy itself when i extract the evil from Venom bit by bit with my own two hands. CURSES! : Woop? .... ~End Transmission~
