A Special Surprise from Rob
Aug 1, 2021 20:25:30 GMT -5
Roy "The Sorrow" Harlowe (NJC), BrainScratch, and 1 more like this
Post by Rob Garcia on Aug 1, 2021 20:25:30 GMT -5
Day: Saturday
Time: 11:30AM
Location: Garcia estate.
Rewind to Saturday and our scene opens inside Rob's Beverly Hills home. We're in the living room and it's clear there was a wild party the night before. Jeff Noon can be seen in the background wearing safety goggles, rubber gloves and he's carrying a trash bag cleaning up the place.
Just then Rob Garcia makes his way down stairs in nothing but his sweatpants. He looks high by how blood shot his eyes are, and he is smiling. Jeff Noon looks up at him and stares at Rob. Rob looks over at Jeff and nods, but Jeff just stares for a moment, his eyes widen. He then quickly turns away from Rob and looks at the floor almost as if he's embarrassed. He waves back at Rob awkwardly still looking at the floor. Rob, who normally isn't quick to catch, has actually noticed Jeff being weird.
Rob: What was that?
Jeff puckers his lips and starts cleaning faster.
Rob: Jeff?!
Jeff Hmmm?!
Jeff quickly turns to Rob with a look of fright.
Rob: What was that?!
Jeff quickly looks around the room for empty bottles to grab.
Jeff What was… Wha… Nothing... All good, all good stuff.
Rob squints his eyes knowing Jeff is lying. Something definitely is up.
Rob: Jeffery Noon! What is going on here?!
Rob yells out in frustration. Jeff freezes, he then slowly looks up at Rob.
Jeff Uhm…
Rob stares at Jeff sternly.
Rob: Spit it out. What's the matter?
Like a puppy who's being scolded, Jeff has trouble looking up at Rob.
Jeff It's just… I didn't. I saw… You have…
Rob's eyebrows raise in anger.
Rob: I what?!
Jeff I noticed you no longer have a six pack and I think it’s from all the beer!!!!
Jeff finally blurts out. Rob looks offended and then looks down to see, Jeff Noon is indeed right! His once chiseled stomach is no more. Rob frowns at the site. Right before he could say anything, the phone rings and Jeff is on his way over to it before he could even say.
Jeff I'll get it!!!!!
Jeff continues to race towards the phone, while Rob stands there staring at the tragedy that was once his six pack abs.
/\/\/Fades Out\/\/\
The scene cuts away from NJC at ReV TV studios. In front of us is Rob Garcia, who's in a better mood than we saw a few days before.
He's on stage for his new segment on ReV TV, Inside the Ropes!
Rob: Ladies and all you other fat disgusting slobs out there, do we have a treat for you!
The sound of a generic studio audience applause goes off in the background.
Rob smiles and nods.
Rob: Many of you know that this coming week, myself and my good buddy, NJC take on the Galactic Stone Pilots, or whatever they call themselves, haha! No one cares!
A generic laugh track goes off.
Rob: Right… Anyways, those delusional assholes talk a big game. They claim a lot of things that aren't true, and today, we have the mother of GSP here to tell the world the truth about her children!!!
A generic studio audience gasping sound is heard.
Rob: Ladies and troll monsters, Mrs. Sex Pirate!!!!
The camera zooms back and we see what looks to be a homeless person or possibly a drug addict walking out on stage.
The crowd cheer in a generic form.
The hobo makes there way over to Rob and sits down across from him.
Rob: Mama Sex Pirate, I wanted welcome to ReV TV and thank you for coming on in the midst of all the trash picking you've been doing. Now speaking of trash picking,the GSP boys aren't related, but adopted, by you, correct?
There is cheering from the generic soundtrack.
Rob: Right, right… A very brave thing to do, for someone as busy as you are, but how did you find big losers like Eduardo Zeep and Billy Foulsmell?
Rob smirks in a cocky manner as he purposely botches their names.
Mama Sex Pirate: B-Billy… Zepp… They like pickles.
Rob listens closely with a fake look of sincerity.
Rob: Interesting, I agree completely, that’s exactly what they smell like.
The transient then smells her armpits. Rob nods trying to hold it together.
Rob: Now, is it safe to say Eddy, or as I like to call him Frankenstein, is a broke bitch that could barely feed his family? And the other big goof oger Billy Dong Style Full-of-it has a chronic masterbation problem?
Mama Sex Pirate smiles at Rob, she has 2 teeth and they are no where near each other. Rob tries to smile back, but looks disgusted by this poor person.
Rob: Yes?
Mame Sex Pirate stares into the soul of Rob for a moment and then nods.
Mama Sex Pirate: Yes?
Mama Sex Pirate then licks her crusty chapped lips at Rob. Who looks as if he’s about to vomit. Rob quickly turns towards the camera.
Rob: Well, I think we found out a lot today. The Sex Pirates mother confirmed what we all thought. They are stupid losers, who don’t deserve the tag straps! That's why me and my bro, Neo are knocking them back down to the alley they crawled out of and going for the tag titles!
Rob turns back to Mama Sex Pirate who is still gazing into Rob with a blank expression. Rob is startled once he looks over.
Rob: AH GOD! … I mean, thank you for joining us tonight Mama Sex Pirate, and good luck to you on your journey to the recycling center.
He then turns back to the camera and shivers.
Rob: I’m Rob Garcia, signing out for ReV TV!
The camera then zooms out and the lights go dim. But as the show starts to fade out we see security dragging Mama Sex Pirate off the stage.
/\/\/The scene fades out\/\/\
Time: 11:30AM
Location: Garcia estate.
Rewind to Saturday and our scene opens inside Rob's Beverly Hills home. We're in the living room and it's clear there was a wild party the night before. Jeff Noon can be seen in the background wearing safety goggles, rubber gloves and he's carrying a trash bag cleaning up the place.
Just then Rob Garcia makes his way down stairs in nothing but his sweatpants. He looks high by how blood shot his eyes are, and he is smiling. Jeff Noon looks up at him and stares at Rob. Rob looks over at Jeff and nods, but Jeff just stares for a moment, his eyes widen. He then quickly turns away from Rob and looks at the floor almost as if he's embarrassed. He waves back at Rob awkwardly still looking at the floor. Rob, who normally isn't quick to catch, has actually noticed Jeff being weird.
Rob: What was that?
Jeff puckers his lips and starts cleaning faster.
Rob: Jeff?!
Jeff Hmmm?!
Jeff quickly turns to Rob with a look of fright.
Rob: What was that?!
Jeff quickly looks around the room for empty bottles to grab.
Jeff What was… Wha… Nothing... All good, all good stuff.
Rob squints his eyes knowing Jeff is lying. Something definitely is up.
Rob: Jeffery Noon! What is going on here?!
Rob yells out in frustration. Jeff freezes, he then slowly looks up at Rob.
Jeff Uhm…
Rob stares at Jeff sternly.
Rob: Spit it out. What's the matter?
Like a puppy who's being scolded, Jeff has trouble looking up at Rob.
Jeff It's just… I didn't. I saw… You have…
Rob's eyebrows raise in anger.
Rob: I what?!
Jeff I noticed you no longer have a six pack and I think it’s from all the beer!!!!
Jeff finally blurts out. Rob looks offended and then looks down to see, Jeff Noon is indeed right! His once chiseled stomach is no more. Rob frowns at the site. Right before he could say anything, the phone rings and Jeff is on his way over to it before he could even say.
Jeff I'll get it!!!!!
Jeff continues to race towards the phone, while Rob stands there staring at the tragedy that was once his six pack abs.
/\/\/Fades Out\/\/\
The scene cuts away from NJC at ReV TV studios. In front of us is Rob Garcia, who's in a better mood than we saw a few days before.
He's on stage for his new segment on ReV TV, Inside the Ropes!
Rob: Ladies and all you other fat disgusting slobs out there, do we have a treat for you!
The sound of a generic studio audience applause goes off in the background.
Rob smiles and nods.
Rob: Many of you know that this coming week, myself and my good buddy, NJC take on the Galactic Stone Pilots, or whatever they call themselves, haha! No one cares!
A generic laugh track goes off.
Rob: Right… Anyways, those delusional assholes talk a big game. They claim a lot of things that aren't true, and today, we have the mother of GSP here to tell the world the truth about her children!!!
A generic studio audience gasping sound is heard.
Rob: Ladies and troll monsters, Mrs. Sex Pirate!!!!
The camera zooms back and we see what looks to be a homeless person or possibly a drug addict walking out on stage.
The crowd cheer in a generic form.
The hobo makes there way over to Rob and sits down across from him.
Rob: Mama Sex Pirate, I wanted welcome to ReV TV and thank you for coming on in the midst of all the trash picking you've been doing. Now speaking of trash picking,the GSP boys aren't related, but adopted, by you, correct?
There is cheering from the generic soundtrack.
Rob: Right, right… A very brave thing to do, for someone as busy as you are, but how did you find big losers like Eduardo Zeep and Billy Foulsmell?
Rob smirks in a cocky manner as he purposely botches their names.
Mama Sex Pirate: B-Billy… Zepp… They like pickles.
Rob listens closely with a fake look of sincerity.
Rob: Interesting, I agree completely, that’s exactly what they smell like.
The transient then smells her armpits. Rob nods trying to hold it together.
Rob: Now, is it safe to say Eddy, or as I like to call him Frankenstein, is a broke bitch that could barely feed his family? And the other big goof oger Billy Dong Style Full-of-it has a chronic masterbation problem?
Mama Sex Pirate smiles at Rob, she has 2 teeth and they are no where near each other. Rob tries to smile back, but looks disgusted by this poor person.
Rob: Yes?
Mame Sex Pirate stares into the soul of Rob for a moment and then nods.
Mama Sex Pirate: Yes?
Mama Sex Pirate then licks her crusty chapped lips at Rob. Who looks as if he’s about to vomit. Rob quickly turns towards the camera.
Rob: Well, I think we found out a lot today. The Sex Pirates mother confirmed what we all thought. They are stupid losers, who don’t deserve the tag straps! That's why me and my bro, Neo are knocking them back down to the alley they crawled out of and going for the tag titles!
Rob turns back to Mama Sex Pirate who is still gazing into Rob with a blank expression. Rob is startled once he looks over.
Rob: AH GOD! … I mean, thank you for joining us tonight Mama Sex Pirate, and good luck to you on your journey to the recycling center.
He then turns back to the camera and shivers.
Rob: I’m Rob Garcia, signing out for ReV TV!
The camera then zooms out and the lights go dim. But as the show starts to fade out we see security dragging Mama Sex Pirate off the stage.
/\/\/The scene fades out\/\/\
