Post by freakke on Aug 11, 2021 1:14:39 GMT -5
A heavily bandaged and casted Freakke hops his way into view on a basic photo shoot style set. The Carnival King looks like he was hit by a bus or something. In the background, someone has Megadeth’s I Ain’t Superstitious going on the radio.
“OH hi! How's everyone doing? Don’t mind the look. We just had a small training accident where I went under a ladder, got crossed by a guy in a Black Cat motif, and somehow I wound up breaking one of those mirrors we have in our training gym and I’ve been trying to escape the more superstitious sorts. They seem to think I’m cursed.”
He tries to shrug but the plaster prevents him from doing anything.
“I’ve been told I have to throw salt over my shoulder, rub lucky rabbits feet, and burn all of my D&D dice because apparently people don’t like when their Cleric rolls like Wil Wheaton...which may be the nerdiest joke I have ever used. Accurate but you know.”
Hop. Hop. Hop.
“And of course, my next match being on Friday the 13th...oof. Just icing on the cake. I am not a popular clown here in the local gym right now and its not because I played a joke for once.”
Freakke has hopped his way to a table filled with goodies. Water, tea, sandwiches, but most important of all, doughnuts. He tries to reach for one but the cast is in the way.
“Awww crap…must...reach...crawler.”
Nope.
“C’mon. Please. By the Dark Clown god powers please.”
Still no.
“Just one doughnut.”
It’s diet time Freakke-O.
“Bugger. Alright. Fine. I didn’t want your diabetic death inducing goodness anyways. Oh, and speaking of INCREDIBLY FORCED SEGUES, a long time dream is coming true this next Honor. Ever since I was a younger lad back in the old archive days of *Bleeped for Legal Reasons* there was one man who I wanted to team up with, purely for the GLORY of calling our team up FREAKKE N AWESOME. Which was much much better than the time I got teamed up with Magically Delicious. Admittedly Magically Freakking Delicious was also a good name but that stable was anything but Magical or Delicious.”
Oh gods he might gag.
“But yeah. No. Steve Awesome. Freakke the Clown. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?”
The Carnival King glared at the camera. His cheery disposition souring immediately.
“Ahh right. Our opponents. Yes ladies and gentlemen, Friday the 13th, the Officially Unofficial Tag Team up of Freakke N Awesome takes on the Double Ds. Some mystery D fella and then...well, there’s Donzig. Again. Ya got me last time. Not bad mate. That was a good one but your not the one who can make the Clown stay Down. I'm like an awful running gag you can't escape. One that will get you in the end. You and you're mysterious other D fella they partnered you up with.”
His smirk spreads wide across his face.
“Like some horrifying, monstrous entity, I keep coming back. Just when you think you got me, BOOM! Cold, Calculated and Cynical Cash Grab Sequel...wait..SHIT I SHOULD HAVE DONE A FRIDAY THE 13th SKIT! AHHHHHH! WHY DIDN’T I? Its not too late. Must...get...to.. Costuming. MUST...MAKE...CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE MOTORBOATING JOKE!”
Hop. Hop. Hop. Hop.
Pause.
“Ahh screw it.”
HopHopHopHop.
As he reaches the table, the Carnival King leaps up and into the concessions. Freakke goes face first into the doughnuts and begins to scarf down the confections as the camera, and his dignity, fade out.
---
The quality of video has dropped a fair bit. A phone probably. The Smiles’ Home kitchen. Charlie Smiles is tying an icepack to his shoulder.
“Are you alright Uncle Charlie?”
“Hrmm? Yeah I’m fine. Just getting old. Not too proud to say that.”
“Yeah. Staying retired seems like a better option all the time doesn’t it?”
The unpainted Carnival King looks back to the person holding the camera. He nods a moment.
“Yeah. Probably would have been the smarter move.”
“And yet here you are. All banged up again.”
“So it goes.”
“I finally read that book. It’s disturbing you think that’s a good thing to say.”
“Maybe. I’m gonna be ok. I’m not gonna kill over just because I’m roughed up and sore a bit more often.”
“I still think you’re an idiot.”
“I’m your uncle. Youre supposed to think I’m an idiot.”
A pause. Milk poured. Seat taken.
“Do you think you can actually keep up at your age?”
“I’m turning 40 not a hundred.”
“I mean, that Donzig guy did a number on you.”
“Nah. That was rough but its not the worst I’ve ever had it. Better still, next time I’m gonna beat his ass.”
“Uh huh.”
“Bet on him if you like.”
“You’re right. I think you’re an idiot.”
Charlie smiles and shrugs.
“Yeah, but you can’t keep a good idiot down.”
“OH hi! How's everyone doing? Don’t mind the look. We just had a small training accident where I went under a ladder, got crossed by a guy in a Black Cat motif, and somehow I wound up breaking one of those mirrors we have in our training gym and I’ve been trying to escape the more superstitious sorts. They seem to think I’m cursed.”
He tries to shrug but the plaster prevents him from doing anything.
“I’ve been told I have to throw salt over my shoulder, rub lucky rabbits feet, and burn all of my D&D dice because apparently people don’t like when their Cleric rolls like Wil Wheaton...which may be the nerdiest joke I have ever used. Accurate but you know.”
Hop. Hop. Hop.
“And of course, my next match being on Friday the 13th...oof. Just icing on the cake. I am not a popular clown here in the local gym right now and its not because I played a joke for once.”
Freakke has hopped his way to a table filled with goodies. Water, tea, sandwiches, but most important of all, doughnuts. He tries to reach for one but the cast is in the way.
“Awww crap…must...reach...crawler.”
Nope.
“C’mon. Please. By the Dark Clown god powers please.”
Still no.
“Just one doughnut.”
It’s diet time Freakke-O.
“Bugger. Alright. Fine. I didn’t want your diabetic death inducing goodness anyways. Oh, and speaking of INCREDIBLY FORCED SEGUES, a long time dream is coming true this next Honor. Ever since I was a younger lad back in the old archive days of *Bleeped for Legal Reasons* there was one man who I wanted to team up with, purely for the GLORY of calling our team up FREAKKE N AWESOME. Which was much much better than the time I got teamed up with Magically Delicious. Admittedly Magically Freakking Delicious was also a good name but that stable was anything but Magical or Delicious.”
Oh gods he might gag.
“But yeah. No. Steve Awesome. Freakke the Clown. WHAT COULD GO WRONG?”
The Carnival King glared at the camera. His cheery disposition souring immediately.
“Ahh right. Our opponents. Yes ladies and gentlemen, Friday the 13th, the Officially Unofficial Tag Team up of Freakke N Awesome takes on the Double Ds. Some mystery D fella and then...well, there’s Donzig. Again. Ya got me last time. Not bad mate. That was a good one but your not the one who can make the Clown stay Down. I'm like an awful running gag you can't escape. One that will get you in the end. You and you're mysterious other D fella they partnered you up with.”
His smirk spreads wide across his face.
“Like some horrifying, monstrous entity, I keep coming back. Just when you think you got me, BOOM! Cold, Calculated and Cynical Cash Grab Sequel...wait..SHIT I SHOULD HAVE DONE A FRIDAY THE 13th SKIT! AHHHHHH! WHY DIDN’T I? Its not too late. Must...get...to.. Costuming. MUST...MAKE...CAMP CRYSTAL LAKE MOTORBOATING JOKE!”
Hop. Hop. Hop. Hop.
Pause.
“Ahh screw it.”
HopHopHopHop.
As he reaches the table, the Carnival King leaps up and into the concessions. Freakke goes face first into the doughnuts and begins to scarf down the confections as the camera, and his dignity, fade out.
---
The quality of video has dropped a fair bit. A phone probably. The Smiles’ Home kitchen. Charlie Smiles is tying an icepack to his shoulder.
“Are you alright Uncle Charlie?”
“Hrmm? Yeah I’m fine. Just getting old. Not too proud to say that.”
“Yeah. Staying retired seems like a better option all the time doesn’t it?”
The unpainted Carnival King looks back to the person holding the camera. He nods a moment.
“Yeah. Probably would have been the smarter move.”
“And yet here you are. All banged up again.”
“So it goes.”
“I finally read that book. It’s disturbing you think that’s a good thing to say.”
“Maybe. I’m gonna be ok. I’m not gonna kill over just because I’m roughed up and sore a bit more often.”
“I still think you’re an idiot.”
“I’m your uncle. Youre supposed to think I’m an idiot.”
A pause. Milk poured. Seat taken.
“Do you think you can actually keep up at your age?”
“I’m turning 40 not a hundred.”
“I mean, that Donzig guy did a number on you.”
“Nah. That was rough but its not the worst I’ve ever had it. Better still, next time I’m gonna beat his ass.”
“Uh huh.”
“Bet on him if you like.”
“You’re right. I think you’re an idiot.”
Charlie smiles and shrugs.
“Yeah, but you can’t keep a good idiot down.”