A Badman And His Bird In The Hot Tub

[Frank Windsor]

The camera faded up from black. The camera was aimed at the hot tub in Frank’s hotel room. He was sat in it but all that could be seen above water was his bare chest which was covered in tattoos and scars from some of the matches he had fought in around the world. Upon his head was the designer sunglasses that he’d been known to wear from time to time. Sat next to him in a yellow bikini was his Alaskan girlfriend Natalia Santiago. She had a pissed off look on her face which was understandable after what had gone down on the last show. “Okay, people have known that this Bastard is not known for holding back when someone flaps their fucking chops in his direction,” Frank said as he caressed his hair. “I could just have a fucking go at Donzig for everything that {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore} moron says BUT word got back to me that he’s a bit of a loose cannon and speaks just BS to get a rise out of anyone that takes notice of the asshole. He just waiting for me to fucking react to Donzig’s moronic monologue.” He adjusted the glasses on his head. “Donzig?” Frank asked with a look of shock on his face. “You think you’re the fucking dude? You think you’ve got what it takes to BS with someone like Frank Windsor? You ain’t got anything on me my little friend. IF I was allowed to go up to 10 on the Frank Windsor scale you’d be sat in the locker room crying for your slutty mummy to come and hold you while you balled your eyes out because of the mean man; But as I’m only going up to 2 at the moment you will only go and sulk in the toilets in your locker room whilst one of your henchmen cups your balls. Don’t bite a bullet as that will be fucking disastrous, for me as I’ll feel guilty for a milli-second before I move on to someone that would get me closer to my fucking goals.” He made to stand up in the hot tub. "This is MY fucking pool, I’m the fucking shark here and everyone else are the fucking minnows for me to eat,” he said as he smirked at the camera. “And Frank Windsor is the fucking man who shall take the Wrestle: UK to the next level. Hell, more than that, people look at me and all they’ll see is the kind of fucking person that would walk into Moscow and punch that ass clown Putin in the fucking teeth, right? I'll make my fucking name synonymous with the Wrestle: UK as much as any other man; I am soon-to-be the known as the greatest fucking professional Wrestler of all time. " He caressed his girlfriend's face. “And how does this end?” he asked as he looked at his girlfriend. “Donzig, you ain’t half the man that Frank Windsor is. You think you’re a fucking hustler? You think you can sell water to a fucking whale? Really? You do? You are actually a fucking goddamn pathetic piece of shite my folically challenged friend. You actually ruined our evening. We were here in the hotel enjoying watching the Eurovision Song Contest when your little rant of sorts surfaced which straight away put myself and Nat in the foulest of moods. You see we knew the UK were onto a good thing but when your rant surfaced it turned it around for us. Date night was fucked up. And attacking Nat?” “Wait Frank,” Natalia interrupted her boyfriend. “We all know how he wrote me off as just some sort of collateral damage in his war with you but I am not one of those airhead bimbos that surround themselves with other bimbos like that in professional wrestling; no look my stuff up in NEW when I was a part of La Dolce Vita. You’ll see that we were the baddest bitches in professional wrestling. We had multi-time world champions in the group. But Donzig you get your little side kick to put her hands on me I won’t need my Sisters of Battle to help me finish her. I won’t need anyone to put her out of her misery as she’s probably scared shitless at the moment and probably hiding out somewhere.” “So true,” Frank said as he looked at Natalia. “I can’t hold you back and wouldn’t want to do but this week I need to destroy Donzig.” Natalia looked at her boyfriend before she nodded and motioned for him to continue. “You have proclaimed yourself by a few monikers Donzig,” he said. “Scourge? The Herald of Oblivion, who seeks nothing more than to feed his enemies to the Void in order to see them reborn in his dark twisted image. Well okay that’s a fucking mouthful buddy. I’ve work alongside ass clowns that claimed things like that; hell I even worked in another company with someone that called himself Scourge too. Cade Allen I think was his real name………” “Yes that was him,” Natalia said. “We wore a funny little mask.” “Donzig; You want to portray yourself as this dark bitch but all you come across as some kind of EMO bitch with illusions of grandeur,” he smirked. “Even Fowler did a better job at that when he went through his Crow craze and you’ve not seen a seven foot tall EMO have you? Now that was fucking weird times for the Bastards especially as I still think he just spray painted a fucking chicken black and tried to sell it as a Crow.” “Oh that was fun times,” Natalia smirked. “I remember those vignettes he filmed running across the roofs of a building in the dark. Such a dork!” "So, enough fucking talking, it’s time for action,” Frank said. “I think I may get on my social medias more otherwise it will be a mother fucking travesty. I’m not saying how that fucking Indie Wrestler with illusions of being better than they are; Donzig thinks he can get his little hands on me because he’s an idiot. Have you seen his tiny hands? Little hands; munchkin hands, goes with his fucking fake tan. Fuck him; fuck that Jeffrey Epstein-like man. No I’m fucking talking about the disrespect that Frank Windsor got from the world. It’s been months since the this member of the Bastards got the fucking respect that he is fucking due. Any time any of the fuckers in this company get in my way I’ll break out the baseball bat and go all Negan over their {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore} asses!" Natalia leaned into shot once again, “Word on the ground is that my man has definitely pissed someone off because of his association with Rob Riot. They picked Fowler for the World Championship tournament as they think he’s easier to control than either you or Robbie but they don’t know anything." Frank looked directly into the lens before he turned and looked at his girlfriend. "They want a fucking {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore} muppet that they can control for a fucking World Champion?” he said. “Well either of the two Eddie’s will give them a fucking muppet of the lowest fucking scale. The Beaker lookalike will do that or that brain dead roid-freak. Anyway, this isn’t about giving those fucking cunts more airtime as Fowler’s going to bring their plans crashing down and bring that belt to the Bastards." Natalia leaned in and kissed him on the cheek trying to calm him down. "This is nothing new to the Bastards,” he said as turned back to the camera. “BUT as some Flat Earth Believer front office bitch has decided that this match with that {Mongo Edit: Nah we don't say that anymore} moron called Donzig is going to be a street fight so you people know Frank Windsor he’ll do it anyway even if it is Unsanctioned. Oh you believers, non-believers, fucking agnostics, atheists or self-proclaimed messiahs don’t believe me? Well fuck off back under your fucking rocks. Have you not fucking been watching Frank Windsor wrestle around the fucking world? No? Fucking hell, where have you been?" Natalia leaned in once again. "Word in the fucking locker room is that you’ve pissed off this Donzig that he is going to be bringing it directly to you as he’s scared of Robbie,” she said. “He thinks that he can just to play with your head Frank, but we that know just know that shit talk like that just fuels your ego." Frank smiled at this, "This will be fucking fun, a street fight back home in Yorkshire. This is going to be fucking brutal. We need to go to my olds in Bradford to pick up some stuff for the match and I left some good stuff in my dad’s shed. Anyway I’ve got something better for us to do.” Frank stood up revealing that all he was wearing leopard print budgie smugglers. He turned and climbed out of the hot tub as the picture faded.