Bump in Merch Sales

[Spike Kane]

We open on the back of Spike, as he’s watching the Jamrockers taking him out at First Contact, he begins to speak but the camera is still behind him.

There's no way around it. We underestimated the Jamrockers. I underestimated the Jamrockers. I didn't pay them the respect they were due, I didn't treat them like the threat they are.

I paid the consequences.

He slow claps.

Despite being the kind of asshole that loves reminding people of everything I’ve accomplished? I don’t normally let my ego get the best of me - and let’s be honest, most of the time I have to remind everyone because the idiotic fuckwits I keep being booked against don’t know a thing about me, they look right past me, through me even…

Just like we did the Jamrockers.

Like we all did Dead End Express.

There’s a slight sigh of disbelief.

See, PRICE and I? We might be old, but we’re never too old to learn. We learned a few things at First Contact, namely, that you two aren’t exactly the immature clowns you present yourself as - that, I get - that, I understand…

I used to be an immature degenerate too.

We catch a glimpse of Spike making the “suck it” crotch chop gesture, as the camera begins to inch slowly revolving Spike.

The thing is though, Alastar? You, just like everyone that came before you….you seem to think I’m a one trick pony. You look at me and you see a ball of anger and violence - which is by design mind, but you - like everyone else trying to use my name to make a name for themselves. You seem to have forgotten that I’m not JUST a big ball of anger and violence, no…I’ve been honing my skills, learning my craft for two and a half decades, I adapt, I learn, and I evolve.

He extends a finger each time for emphasis.

I can, and will wrestle absolute circles around you…

Just because I enjoy inflicting pain, doesn’t mean I’m not one of the absolute best wrestlers this business has ever seen. You think I want a fight, and only a fight?

Well you’re right.

I’m not here to play your games Alastor, I’m not here to give you that step up to the next level. I’m simply here to knock you down a peg, I’m here to put you in your rightful place, and that place, is on your back, staring at the lights, wondering out what the licence plate of the freight train that just crushed you was.

The angle now switches to an extreme close up of Spike’s face, the snarl there for all to see.

Come Adrenaline Touchdown?

You'll understand all about consequences.

He sneers, before lowering his head for a beat and then looking right back at the camera.

The thing is, this match is more than just revenge, isn’t it? Never even thought about setting my sights on the Openweight Championship, but it seems that once again, fate pushes me in a certain direction. As if the chance to beat the snot out of Alastar Touchdown wasn’t enough of a motivation, it also happens to be a number one contendership match…

See, I’ve already brought you to the main event Touchdown.

Despite only his face being on the screen, you can tell from his movements his hands are moving around as he talks, getting more animated.

Yeah, I’ve got quite the legacy of Gold, I don’t need to tell you- because I’ve learned that you and Cooldown, clowns though you may be, are actually students of the game. You study your opponents, and you expose their flaws….I get that, I dig that in fact, fuck it’s part of why I’ve had so much success over the years, but the thing is TD? You are, and always will be….a tag team wrestler.

One half of a whole.

Yeah, you and your partner kicked my ass, there’s no denying that. Just like there’s no denying BANG! Bros, and particularly yours truly crushing every other so-called Elite Team to win Call to Arms…

Again.

Shit eating grin.

You’re talented, definitely, you’re a walking talking hype machine, but you’ll forever be half as good as I am. I know you might not like it, and I know you’re feeling big in your big-boy pants now that you don’t care if the kiddies cheer for you or not….but I am the single biggest threat signed to the IPW Roster, and I think deep down, you know it.

His thumb comes onto screen as he points at himself.

Deep down, you know that if I get my hands on you at Adrenaline? I’m going to make an example out of you, and perhaps maybe see if I can turn you into some kind of voodoo doll and fuck up Cooldown at the same time….

You see….I’m a Professional Wrestler. I have travelled the world, and in doing so I’ve learned and forced myself to be better, training in Japan, Mexico, Europe, the United States of Embarrassment….I am paid ludicrous amounts of money to fly around the world, and kick the shit out of people, I’ve had more main events than you have had hot dinners, and as much as it’s killing you inside - you know for a fact you’re marking out like a bitch because you get a one on one with Spike Kane, which is cool, because I am a Jamrockers Fan and I’m not ashamed to admit it.…but, in case you haven't heard? I'm the best there is at what I do.

The camera slowly begins to pan out, first revealing Spike’s shoulders.

And what I do ain't nice.

Spike walks closer to the camera, as if he’s sharing a secret.

Whereas you, and your partner?

You're just here to sell T-shirts.

The camera pans out to reveal Spike:

You're welcome for the bump in sales. Maybe it'll help with the hospital bills.