Infamous 1st Impression
Jan 1, 2023 17:11:46 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Frank Windsor, and 1 more like this
Post by onyxxbrekkar on Jan 1, 2023 17:11:46 GMT -5
So there you are on New Years Eve…It’s too early to pop fireworks and shit so your inside your home or mother’s basement and are taking a break from your New Year WHACK-A-THON to see if there is any kind of breaking news or cool announcements coming out of the XHF. It’s that time of year where most promotions look to build on the year they have had and set new goals, heights, and standards to push themselves and the sport to new levels of success.
But the moment your browser brings you to the XHF website suddenly your entire screen freezes. Everything on your device seems to be working clearly…So you do what everyone else does in aggravating circumstances such as these, and just before your fingers can hit the restart button there is a glitch…And then another…and another..And then finally the home screen of the XHF website is replaced as we find ourselves at some roof top party at the Grand Plaza Hotel in New York CIty. Why you are still watching this is purely motivated by speculation…But suddenly we see a figure emerge from a huge group of people. He is very well dressed in a black and white tailormade pin stripped Armani suit, with a matching fedora and a long sivercane with a skull at the top with it’s mouth open and the letters WAR carved into it’s mouth.
The man looks somewhat familiar as he flicks a half smoked cigarette away and silently leads us into a room slightly off to the side. The huge New Years Eve PArty continues going on around him, but the sharp dressed man is then joined by a much smaller but equally sharp dressed mail follows him into the room and they shut the door behind them.
The man removes his hat and his gloves as he walks over and takes a seat behind a desk and opens up a box at the far right corner and removes a large Cuban cigar. He of course smells it before he cuts the tip and lights it. He stands with his back turned as his attention is entirely on getting his cigar lit…And once it is nice and lit he turns around and nods at his associate who presses a button on the camera and then begins to speak.
Onyxx Brekkar: …Look, like before I start off here, I just want to come right out and hit yall with the truth right out of the gate when I take this brief little moment to emphasis the over all point I’m trying to make, not just in this particular isolated incident, but ya know pretty much overall, when I eventually stop rambling and just come out and say
It is unequivocally the worst holiday celebrated all year long, and that is really saying something when you consider there is a day marked in the calendar that celebrates some major dip shit who everyone praises to be some kind of genius because he figured the world was round and then some how managed to sail bass ackwards into a brand new country that he “discovered”...Which ya know already had people FUCKING LIVING THERE! Which aside from that everything Mr. NiNa PINTA and SANTA MARIA did after and aside from that is practically demonstrated and exhibit some of the most deplorable traits, practices, and customs that wound up negatively impacting the entire human race for generations to come.
…Which obviously is another can of worms entirely, so forgive me for trailing off a bit. However getting back to my original point…Knowing there is a holiday reserved for someone who did more harm to humanity and if we are just being real with one another here ole Chuckie Columbus didn’t actually discover a got damn thing unless you count new and innovative ways to {No Means No}, pillage, and plunder…Yet still taking all of this into account know that I would willingly and I’d gladly celebrate fucking Columbus Day in a similar fashion to the way most Hebrews celebrate Hannaukah if it meant I never had to sit through another one of these boring rooftop parties with boring, pretentious, self absorbed, MoRoNZ who aren’t wise enough to face the simple fact that their fifteen minutes of fame ended
Fortunately for me I am unable to see any of your stupid faces behind the cameras that are presently rolling and feeding this to you while you sit at home, but I can still feel most of you not being able to wrap your head around how I could despise such a thing…Because I am aware I haven’t formally introduced myself, but the buzz and whispers about me have already begun like I was the new kid at high school on some lame ass show that comes on The CW or Hallmark Channel, which all that aside for those of you with functioning eyeballs you can clearly see for yourselves that the type of party I am presently at this evening is the type of party some…or actually most people you sheep consider
Yes it may appear like it is one of those wild and crazy New Years Eve Parties you’ve seen in countless montage reels while watching yet another Fast and The Furious or whatever fil in the blank action/comedy flick the kids are into these days. The kind of party that most of you would probably be able to recall every single tiny detail…Ya know had anyone IMPORTANT knew your name well enough to extend you an invite, of course…But alas they don’t know ya, so they’ll never invite ya…Which means the only way most of you dip shits could ever attend such an event is as my guest…Which I wasn’t gunna say it…But ya know what the hell…
Which believe it or not finally brings us to the moment you have all been waiting for…THE ACTUAL INTRODUCTION!!! I know some of yas sittin at home watching this on your whatever are, trying to place my face to a name, but lemme save ya some time and effort and just tell ya right off the bat
My name is
Fun fact about me that I am really not supposed to share with the likes of you peasants is that I come from one of if not the most powerful and influential families in not just the United States, I am talking about on the entire got damn planet! My family comes from what is often referred to as “OLD MONEY”, but truth be told my father has more than a fair share of New MONEY AS WELL…But mostly he deals in firearms, weapons, pharmaceuticals, and of course real estate. Now see I am really not supposed to disclose more than that, because for my entire life I have been in some shape, form, or fashion have been bred, prepped, and prepared to assume my father’s role one day when he is no longer fit or able to carry on as he has…But given who and what we are, and the fact that even though he is on the wrong side of 45 I won’t be expected to assume the family throne for quite some time. Which is great because it allows me more time to do the one thing I love doing more than anything else in this world…Which is of course
The few people that exist in this planet and know actual FREEDOM! No not the kind your government tells you that you have moments after rigging a voting machine they never intended to count anyway! I am talking about freedom in it’s purest of forms. I do what I want, when I want, how I want…Which more times often than not leads me to some how or another taking what I want…Which
Again even though I can’t see your faces I can feel the sour looks and knots turning in your stomachs as you mistake my honesty for arrogance, which at the end of the day day says more about the lot of you than it ever could ME! Cause the truth at the center of this particular predicament is you may choose to view me in a negative light because you may feel that the words that just fell from my mouth were laced, stuffed, and marinated in back handed arrogance, which I won’t sit here and call it a bold face lie, because yeah perhaps there was a touch or arrogance in every single word that has fallen from my lips this evening, but still despite all of that most of you now going forward will become what many people on the Twitter or TikTok refer to as a
Find me one Wolf that has a single FUCK to spare over what the sheep, chickens, henz, cows and GOATS think COMBINED! And if you are sitting in your seat quietly trying to figure out whether or not I just compared any and every single one of you watching this right now to one of the several residents on Old McDonald’s Farm then please allow me this moment to clarify that for everyone. So please thumbs out of rear ends and eyes up front E-I-, E-I
OoOoOoO…YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I JUST CALLED YOU A SHEEP, OR A CHICKEN OR A COW…TAKE YOUR PICK!!!
But see if you people could all take a moment and get over yourselves and your own jealousy then you would more than likely be able to tell that as of this very moment the future of pro wrestling as a whole has just gotten so much brighter! I know you are all sitting there waiting for me to state the obvious fact that the now bright light you see at the end of the dark tunnel is caused by not just my very presence but the message I carry into your sport and squared circle where many of you have spent and spilled countless buckets of blood, sweat, and tears working as diligently and and as hard as one of you sheep every could to build your names up enough to the point where some of you may at this point already created something of a legacy for yourselves…Which believe me when I tell you that despite what you may or may not think about me I have a very deep and sincere respect for that…
Because like every single member of whatever wrestling promotion is the first to deliver my official contract making me an official member of the pro wrestling brotherhood, I have my own reasons and motives for wanting to take this up as an occupation…hobby…or even career! And since I am not yet an official roster member of any major wrestling promotion I have come to you all this evening for the sole purpose of simply making an introduction! Because if there is one thing I was taught and learned the hard way is the lesson on the importance and extreme significance of making an impactful and insightful
…Of course I am well aware of the fact that Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will my legacy! Just as I am aware that most of you at the top of these wrestling promotions who find themselves in positions of prominence will more than likely go for the low hanging fruit and try and use the fact that despite being trained by the best of the best of THE ABSOLUTE BEST I still don’t have a single match under my belt…No losses and no victories either! But if you were paying attention you will have caught the fact that I said I was trained by the absolute best this business has to offer, so again I understand the significance of coming in right off the rip and making an impact! Not to mention the fact that I am well aware not a single one of you will take a single word that has or will fall from my lips here and now seriously. You’ll either shrug it off, or do the literal dumbest thing you could possibly do and try and stand in my way thinking I am no different than any other man, woman, or child who broke into this business hoping to build a resume and legacy that will last through the annals of time. Despite the fact that every word I say is true, I still don’t expect any of you to treat it that way. Yet I consider myself a very well educated person…And while I haven’t the slightest idea who it was that first said it, I know good and got damn well that it really is true…
SO while I have already said a great deal, I hope you all know I didn’t go through all of this trouble to bring you all here tonight, nor did I say a single word, phrase or sentence that I expect any of you watching this to be taken as GOSPEL. Hell, even those of you that hear the words I speak, look into my eyes and see the same conviction with which my words have sharply spoken and know in the back of your mind and in the depths of your gut as it ties you up in knots as your imagination suddenly burns the mental image of you at my feet and everything you once built and stood for is in a million broken pieces on the ground, I still don’t expect any of you on any roster of one of the wrestling promotions I hope to join to believe a single word I say. I know I’m not the first to make the claims I have made here tonight…Shit from what I have been told everyone comes in
Respect, clout, fear, trust, aren’t things anyone in this business acquires without putting foot to ass! SO know I don’t expect you to believe my words just because I came out here and said them…Just as long as you, my prospective opponents, rivals, and enemies all understand that just because you don’t believe a word I say doesn’t make me a liar…And of all the things I may be boys and girls…A liar aint fuckin one of them ya digg?
For instance, the reason I chose to film, produce, and air this promo before I officially sign with any wrestling promotion I want to make sure everyone gets a glimpse of the man that will be their near and clear immediate and distant futures. I am what some of the boys and broadcaster’s refer to as a
Or to be more precise because as I am sure each roster has at least one to three fuck mooks on their roster than consider themselves SHOWSTOPPERS…Which is of course very cute…and for all we know probably true, but even if you took all three of your SHOWSTOPPERS after me at once I hope at least one of you will have the sense to call the metaphorical FAT LADY and tell her to wait for her que…Because that fat bitch, all three “SHOWSTOPPERS, and every man woman and child wtchin in the arena or at home will see that at no point did the SHOWSTOP, they will be unable to preform the function they are known for because The INFAMOUS ONYXX BREKKAR is more than a SHOWSTOPPER…I’m a got damn
Now I’d say that was more than a proper introduction…because well I am not even on a roster and I just proved I could, can, and always will out talk any and every last one of you, and when we climb in between them ropes the humiliation and failure doesn’t stop it just gets worse…
…There that pretty much covers everything I wanted to say. However don’t leave just yet, because there is actually one more statement I need to make to ensure that my prospective employers and roster mates hear loudly and clearly! SO please if you’ll excuse me for a moment…I have to get back to my guests…
Onyxx Brekkar slightly smirks while raising his eyebrows as he glares hard into the camera briefly, as he walks back behind his desk and grabs his black and white pin striped jacket and casually throws it on. He takes the cigarette almost smoked all the way down to the buttt and firmly puts it out in a beautiful glass ash trey that as a white crystal skull in the middle and underneath it’s jaw bone are the letters W.A.R.
Onyxx opens the desk drawer and removes what appears to be his wallet but we see a platinum casing with a bold black Templar cross in the center of it along with other markings and symbols we don’t recgonize. He lowers the shade on the window in the office he has been hiding from his guests in and sees the large crowd. He takes a deep breathe reaches in his jacket pocket and removes a bottle of eye drops and drops a single drop in each eye. Lord Infamous briefly pauses for a moment as if he was allowing some wave of euphoria to wash over him and return him to the crowd pleaser he was expected to be once he is on the other side of the door. He looks at his sponsor/squire as both exchange a light hearted chuckle as Onyxx goes to open the door, but before his hand can twist the knob he turns to his squire and asks…
Onyxx Brekkar: Wait…Kaz, is everything prepared?
Kaztor Blake: Come on Nix, when have I ever let you down?
Kaz’s eyes lower as he is expecting his charge to open the door as Mr. Blake was quite certain he knew the answer to the question he asked in response to his best friend and leader’s original question.
Onyxx Brekkar: Kaz while your record is impeccable when it comes to matters such as these, I’m afraid you have left me no other choice than to linger here a moment longer so that you can get your facts straight.
Kaztor Blake: We can sit all night if ya want to! My track record is flawless! You must have me confused with someone el…Wait!...Ohh NO! That’s not fair I completely fuckin forgot about…
Onyxx Brekkar: How convenient, and the most humorous thing about this subject is that we don’t even have to go digging in the old testament to find a record of your recent…blunder shall we say…
Kaztor Blake: You swore we would never speak of this again!
Onyxx Brekkar: Which is why I prefaced what I said by informing you I was left without choice…Just because we have both decided to never speak of the INFAMOUS BALTIMORE BLUNDER again doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, because my father assured me that neither of us should show our faces in the state of Maryland for a while…
Kaztor Blake: We really can’t go back?...Like for how long?
Onyxx Brekkar: He didn’t say specifically…Ohh wait yeah he did…He said if we were smart we’d never go back…But I’m sure it will all blow over a few years will go by and most of the people won’t remember you running over The Senator’s four puppies while getting road head from his…Was it his wife?
Kaztor Blake: No his sister! And that isn’t fair she used her teeth..Who uses their teeth?
Onyxx Brekkar: I mean I don’t have the numbers here in front of me, but if I had to guess I’d say at least every female out here under the age of 24…I don’t know what they are teaching kids these days but it aint working! But that is ok…Because one of the main motivators behind this new venture we are about to go on is correcting some of those mistakes…But we can cross that bridge once we arrive to it…For now we have guests to entertain and a point to make…I don’t have all night to sit here and debate a puppy MURDERER!
Kaztor Blake: Forgive me for speaking out of turn my liege, but why do you insist on referring to me like that especially after promising to never speak of it again!
Onyxx Brekkar: I vowed to not speak of the specific incident again…You running over the puppies was just a fraction of what happened…Albeit a rather large part of what happened. But still I’ll make you a deal here and now…I’ll stop calling you a Puppy Killer, the day you stop crying when I do call you that! Now are you ready? Dry your eyes you look like you were in here watching an episode of the Gilmore girls or something!...Ready?
Kaztor Blake: Wait!...WAIT! I just need to ask…Does it make it any better if I told you I thought they were cats, or squirrels?
Onyxx Brekkar:...Uhh I’m gunna have to go with ABSOLUTELY NOT! Actually I don’t know why exactly but it kinda makes it worse! But ohh well get your shit together you can spend the entire first day of 2023 blubbering like the dude who shot Old Yeller, but right now…It’s game time!
Kaztor runs his hands across his eyes trying to wipe away any hint of his tears as he smacks himself on the cheeks simultaneously as he looks at his Charge and Best Friend and nods. Onyxx then looks at his friend shakes his head, rolls his eyes, and then opens the door. As the door swings open we see nothing but a sea of unbelievably gorgeous women dressed to kill. The other men in suits hold their drinks and toast their host.
The camera pans out as we watch pro wrestling’s boldest new prospect work the room like a pro. Every bit the charmer his father is Onyxx is able to carry a conversation with everyone he speaks to around the room. He and his squire were separated once they left the room Onyxx used to cut his promo. Kaztor Blake is speaking with a recently widowed Judge’s wife here in the fine state of New York City. They are standing underneath a large flat screen TV that is showing the countdown to the infamous New York tradition of dropping the ball in Time Square every New Years Eve at Midnight. Suddenly Kaztor’s eyes shoot across the room where three strangely familiar faces are oddly standing in the corner of the room right next to the entrance.
Anywhere else at any other time these three men would be completely unnoticeable. They have forgettable faces indeed, but their seemingly dity faces, worn clothes, and unkempt look make them stick out like Donald Trump at a Women’s Right’s Rally. Kaztor sees theis and immediately excuses himself from the conversation he was having and quickly leads the three men as discreetly as he can to a balcony overlooking the busy streets below. Being only couple of blocks from Time Square the noise from the streets below of the CIty that NEVER SLEEPS resonates all the way up where Kaztor Blake and the three gentlemen are standing shivering in the cold as they obviously await an audience with Onyxx Brekkar. Onyxx takes his time but eventually strolls out onto the balcony with a care free yet confident smirk on his face, as he gives the young blonde on his arm a kiss in the cheek following directions on where to wait for him while he finishes his business out here. Onyxx grabs the railing and leans over the side getting a feel for how far up they were and then he shoots back not saying a word to anyone. Kaztor reaches in his jacketpocket and removes a metal cigarette case from the breast pocket of his jacket and opens it holding it for Mr. Brekkar who eagerly accepts.
He pops it in his mouth and then cups his hands as Kaztor holds the zippo as the flame wildly jerks and thrashes in the air until the flame jerks and gently dances across the tip of Onyxx Brekkar’s cigarette. He takes a long deep drag before opening his mouth and letting the smoke gently escape his mouth. The smoke rises and then vanishes into the air before Onyxx turns and gets down to business.
Onyxx Brekkar: These are the men you hired Kaz?
Kaztor Blake: Yes they are your excellence. All three of them the lowest paid refs of all three wrestling promotions TAPOUT, HardKore, and Wrestling UK…
Onyxx Brekkar: Splendid! And I trust everything was handled the way I instructed down to the letter? All majority owners of each of the promotions that are probably just now finding out that their product was taken without permission so I could make clear my point and stance moving forward, and they will be fully compensated for their loss plus a good bit extra just as a gesture of good will, of course…Ya know since I’m hoping to work for one or all of these sons a bitches one day right? I suppose now all I can do is hope they see things from where I’m standing because I’m not like anything they have seen or dealt with before, I may sound or even look like what has been a JohnnyComeandFaiLLately!...When I make a statement I am willing to go to any an every measure and extreme if necessary to see those words eventually carved in stone metaphorically speaking…
Kaztor Blake: All T’s crossed and all i’s dotted!
Onyxx Brekkar: Very well then gentlemen Mr. Kaz here has your payment…Your entire salary for the year plus five thousand per diem?
The men all smile and eagerly shake their head, as Onyxx removes the three thick envelopes from his jacket pocket and hands them to each man individually. A big wide grin then slowly creeps across his face and we are able to see the excitement in his crystal clear baby blue eyes, as he pats the men on the shoulder and heads back inside.
Onyxx walks directly into the living room area of the large hotel room at The Plaza New York’s biggest and fanciest hotel. Onyxx then motions for the DJ to cut the music as Onyxx looks up at the TV screen to show that it is almost time for the ball to drop. We see men in white button down shirts with black vests and bowties quickly surround everyone in the room while holding bottles of Dom Perigon in their hands. They start filling people’s glasses as Onyxx looks off into the distance as if he was stealing a moment to make sure he used the right words for what came next.
Onyxx Brekkar: Now ladies and gentlemen if you’d like to join me on the roof as we bring in this brand new year that seemingly holds such promise already…Which hey considering how the last two years have gone…The way I see it most of us have only to go up from here. So again please fill your glasses or just grab the got damn bottles and join me on the roof…Because although we won’t be down in the middle of all that craziness in TimeSquare we will still bring the new year in in our own sort of way…So let’s get to the clock is ticking!
Scene then cuts to the roof top where we see Kaztor frantically running around trying to make the last minute preparations. We see the three men unloading huge boxes. Huge large boxes that have baubles trinkets and tshirts pouring out of them. As the camera pans over them we notice that the things stuffed in these boxes looks like it all came from the merchandise stands of three of the top wrestling promotions in the XHF. Once the boxes are all loaded then the three men each grab two full cans of gasoline and proceed to empy them onto all the boxes, containers t-shirts, belts, action figures. Everything sold at a merchandise stand at TAPOUT, Wrestling UK, and HARDKORE are in the middle of a giant group of people standing in a circle.
Every single person standing in this circle seems confused about what was going on. Everyone save Lord INFAMOUS Onyxx Brekkar who was a look of sheer confidence as he pauses and soaks in the moment and watches as his thoughts became actions and now there is no way in hell anyone who works for either or any of these three wrestling promotions will not be aware of the presence of pro wrestling’s true REDEEMER…Onyxx Brekkar flicks a cigarette butt over the balcony and then steps forward into the circle and begins to make his final point…
He goes to open his mouth but catches himself. He pauses and then walks over to Kaz who already knew what he was walking over there for, so Kaz reaches into his pocket and hands Onyxx his silver zippo. Onyxx Brekkar then walks to the closest corner of the pile of wrestling merch doused in grade A gasoline, and he flicks the top open runs the lighter across his knee and holds it in the air for a moment before bringing it down around his waist and allows the flame to dance across a row of black TAPOUT shirts. Onyxx then walks to the center and does the same and then finally to the other side.
Fortunately the winds were favorable and as Onyxx finally got the last side lit he stood back and everyone stood in silence and watched as the small flames slowly but surely grew larger and larger as the flames consumed everything in it’s path…The clothes, the cardboard boxes, the action figures, title belts, it all burned in a quiet yet furious flame as fireworks began popping all around them. Kaztor Blake stood in awe of his charge who didn’t raise a single eyelash up at the sky, but it was clear to Kastor as it should be clear to the rest of you that this moment, not a fraction of a second of it was lost on the man whom proudly introduced himself to you just a few short moments ago.
His eyes reflected off the flickering flames as he removed a cigarette from his pocket walked over to the flickering flames slightly bent his head as the fire he started lit his smoke from him, as he stood back while exhaling the smoke. You could tell by the cocky smirk plastered across his face he was quite pleased with himself…
…And why the hell shouldn’t he be. A mere twenty four hours after making the decision to venture out into the world and become a pro wrestler, which is an act that is almost unspeakable to the circle he was born and raised in. But the decision has already been made, and drastic measures were taken to make sure his message was not only sent but heard loudly and clearly, and yes while he had already authorized the payments to the companies that he had his people commonder every scrap of merchandise the three top XHF promotions had to sell at their arena and house shows over the weekend was now lying in a large ple of ashes and embers, a mess that someone not named Onyxx Brekkar was going to have to clean up.
SO instead of making the move that would see him promoted to the Captain of the OBVIOUS MILITARY, instead he simply removed the mics from his clothes and tossed them into the now small flames flickering and fading away into another cold New York New Years EVE. He chose not to say a word because he already said what needed to be said…And if a picture is truly worth a thousand words…Then the video of him putting all of the top XHF promotion’s merchandise to the torch said everything Lord Infamous already said and more. But if you still need someone to spell it out for you…Consider this your final warning…
…And that was the end of it or so he thought. Until suddenly the entire party came to a complete screeching halt, and depending on who you ask some say the moment they heard the distinct voice of one of the most powerful men in the entire world call out every flame, ember, or glow immediately burnt out and ash began to blow off the side of the building as everyone turned towards the balcony doors that lead back into the hotel room, as everyone Onyxx Brekker included stared in utter shock, amazement and perhaps even a drop or two of real life fear as the voice spoke again only this time we can make out the words…
Preston Brekkar: I don’t know why or how…I don’t even care what it will take but anyone still in this hotel room by the time I get out of the pisser will truly live to regret it…And those of you who know who I am know good and got damn well I’ve never made an ideal threat in my entire life…And make no mistake about it…THAT WAS A THREAT!...Onyxx Brekkar…COME HERE NOW!!!!
Onyxx Brekkar: Dad…WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN HERE???
….Sorry, right when shit gets interesting is when we cut it off…If ya want the rest of the story guess you’ll have to sign us…See yall round the way!
But the moment your browser brings you to the XHF website suddenly your entire screen freezes. Everything on your device seems to be working clearly…So you do what everyone else does in aggravating circumstances such as these, and just before your fingers can hit the restart button there is a glitch…And then another…and another..And then finally the home screen of the XHF website is replaced as we find ourselves at some roof top party at the Grand Plaza Hotel in New York CIty. Why you are still watching this is purely motivated by speculation…But suddenly we see a figure emerge from a huge group of people. He is very well dressed in a black and white tailormade pin stripped Armani suit, with a matching fedora and a long sivercane with a skull at the top with it’s mouth open and the letters WAR carved into it’s mouth.
The man looks somewhat familiar as he flicks a half smoked cigarette away and silently leads us into a room slightly off to the side. The huge New Years Eve PArty continues going on around him, but the sharp dressed man is then joined by a much smaller but equally sharp dressed mail follows him into the room and they shut the door behind them.
The man removes his hat and his gloves as he walks over and takes a seat behind a desk and opens up a box at the far right corner and removes a large Cuban cigar. He of course smells it before he cuts the tip and lights it. He stands with his back turned as his attention is entirely on getting his cigar lit…And once it is nice and lit he turns around and nods at his associate who presses a button on the camera and then begins to speak.
Onyxx Brekkar: …Look, like before I start off here, I just want to come right out and hit yall with the truth right out of the gate when I take this brief little moment to emphasis the over all point I’m trying to make, not just in this particular isolated incident, but ya know pretty much overall, when I eventually stop rambling and just come out and say
“MAN FUCK NEW YEAR’S EVE!!!!”
…I MEANNNN RIGHT?????
It is unequivocally the worst holiday celebrated all year long, and that is really saying something when you consider there is a day marked in the calendar that celebrates some major dip shit who everyone praises to be some kind of genius because he figured the world was round and then some how managed to sail bass ackwards into a brand new country that he “discovered”...Which ya know already had people FUCKING LIVING THERE! Which aside from that everything Mr. NiNa PINTA and SANTA MARIA did after and aside from that is practically demonstrated and exhibit some of the most deplorable traits, practices, and customs that wound up negatively impacting the entire human race for generations to come.
…Which obviously is another can of worms entirely, so forgive me for trailing off a bit. However getting back to my original point…Knowing there is a holiday reserved for someone who did more harm to humanity and if we are just being real with one another here ole Chuckie Columbus didn’t actually discover a got damn thing unless you count new and innovative ways to {No Means No}, pillage, and plunder…Yet still taking all of this into account know that I would willingly and I’d gladly celebrate fucking Columbus Day in a similar fashion to the way most Hebrews celebrate Hannaukah if it meant I never had to sit through another one of these boring rooftop parties with boring, pretentious, self absorbed, MoRoNZ who aren’t wise enough to face the simple fact that their fifteen minutes of fame ended
45 GOT DAMN MINUTEZ AGO!!!
…And The CLOCK is STiLL TICKING!!!
Fortunately for me I am unable to see any of your stupid faces behind the cameras that are presently rolling and feeding this to you while you sit at home, but I can still feel most of you not being able to wrap your head around how I could despise such a thing…Because I am aware I haven’t formally introduced myself, but the buzz and whispers about me have already begun like I was the new kid at high school on some lame ass show that comes on The CW or Hallmark Channel, which all that aside for those of you with functioning eyeballs you can clearly see for yourselves that the type of party I am presently at this evening is the type of party some…or actually most people you sheep consider
“FAMOUS”
Couldn’t Get In Even If Their PLUS 1 Was Megan Foxx and She Was Givin Out Handy J’z and HiGH 5’z!!!
Yes it may appear like it is one of those wild and crazy New Years Eve Parties you’ve seen in countless montage reels while watching yet another Fast and The Furious or whatever fil in the blank action/comedy flick the kids are into these days. The kind of party that most of you would probably be able to recall every single tiny detail…Ya know had anyone IMPORTANT knew your name well enough to extend you an invite, of course…But alas they don’t know ya, so they’ll never invite ya…Which means the only way most of you dip shits could ever attend such an event is as my guest…Which I wasn’t gunna say it…But ya know what the hell…
YOU ARE WELCOME!!!
…SO Don’t Say YOUR SEXY UNCLE-O NeVER GAVE YA NOTHIN!!!
Which believe it or not finally brings us to the moment you have all been waiting for…THE ACTUAL INTRODUCTION!!! I know some of yas sittin at home watching this on your whatever are, trying to place my face to a name, but lemme save ya some time and effort and just tell ya right off the bat
NONE OF YALL CHUMPZ KNOW ME!!!!
…But Ya Will Very VERY SOON! Buttttttt anyways…
My name is
"Onyxx Brekkar"
Fun fact about me that I am really not supposed to share with the likes of you peasants is that I come from one of if not the most powerful and influential families in not just the United States, I am talking about on the entire got damn planet! My family comes from what is often referred to as “OLD MONEY”, but truth be told my father has more than a fair share of New MONEY AS WELL…But mostly he deals in firearms, weapons, pharmaceuticals, and of course real estate. Now see I am really not supposed to disclose more than that, because for my entire life I have been in some shape, form, or fashion have been bred, prepped, and prepared to assume my father’s role one day when he is no longer fit or able to carry on as he has…But given who and what we are, and the fact that even though he is on the wrong side of 45 I won’t be expected to assume the family throne for quite some time. Which is great because it allows me more time to do the one thing I love doing more than anything else in this world…Which is of course
BE ME
Because I AM One oF THE VERY FEW!!!
The few people that exist in this planet and know actual FREEDOM! No not the kind your government tells you that you have moments after rigging a voting machine they never intended to count anyway! I am talking about freedom in it’s purest of forms. I do what I want, when I want, how I want…Which more times often than not leads me to some how or another taking what I want…Which
(SPOILER ALERT PEOPLE)
MEANS EVENTUALLY ONE WAY OR THE OTHER I ALWAYS GET WHAT I WANT!!!
Again even though I can’t see your faces I can feel the sour looks and knots turning in your stomachs as you mistake my honesty for arrogance, which at the end of the day day says more about the lot of you than it ever could ME! Cause the truth at the center of this particular predicament is you may choose to view me in a negative light because you may feel that the words that just fell from my mouth were laced, stuffed, and marinated in back handed arrogance, which I won’t sit here and call it a bold face lie, because yeah perhaps there was a touch or arrogance in every single word that has fallen from my lips this evening, but still despite all of that most of you now going forward will become what many people on the Twitter or TikTok refer to as a
HATER…
…Which If That’s The Case Go RIGHT AHEAD…KNOCK YOURSELVES OUT!!
Find me one Wolf that has a single FUCK to spare over what the sheep, chickens, henz, cows and GOATS think COMBINED! And if you are sitting in your seat quietly trying to figure out whether or not I just compared any and every single one of you watching this right now to one of the several residents on Old McDonald’s Farm then please allow me this moment to clarify that for everyone. So please thumbs out of rear ends and eyes up front E-I-, E-I
OoOoOoO…YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I JUST CALLED YOU A SHEEP, OR A CHICKEN OR A COW…TAKE YOUR PICK!!!
But see if you people could all take a moment and get over yourselves and your own jealousy then you would more than likely be able to tell that as of this very moment the future of pro wrestling as a whole has just gotten so much brighter! I know you are all sitting there waiting for me to state the obvious fact that the now bright light you see at the end of the dark tunnel is caused by not just my very presence but the message I carry into your sport and squared circle where many of you have spent and spilled countless buckets of blood, sweat, and tears working as diligently and and as hard as one of you sheep every could to build your names up enough to the point where some of you may at this point already created something of a legacy for yourselves…Which believe me when I tell you that despite what you may or may not think about me I have a very deep and sincere respect for that…
….Kinda, well actually no…NOT REALLY!!!
#SORRYNOTsorry
Because like every single member of whatever wrestling promotion is the first to deliver my official contract making me an official member of the pro wrestling brotherhood, I have my own reasons and motives for wanting to take this up as an occupation…hobby…or even career! And since I am not yet an official roster member of any major wrestling promotion I have come to you all this evening for the sole purpose of simply making an introduction! Because if there is one thing I was taught and learned the hard way is the lesson on the importance and extreme significance of making an impactful and insightful
FIRST IMPRESSION
Cause In A FeW MoMENTZ BOYZ AND GIRLZ THE ENTIRE WRESTLING WORLD AS FAR AS YOU MOOX KNOW IT WILL CHANGE FOREVER!
…Of course I am well aware of the fact that Rome wasn’t built in a day and neither will my legacy! Just as I am aware that most of you at the top of these wrestling promotions who find themselves in positions of prominence will more than likely go for the low hanging fruit and try and use the fact that despite being trained by the best of the best of THE ABSOLUTE BEST I still don’t have a single match under my belt…No losses and no victories either! But if you were paying attention you will have caught the fact that I said I was trained by the absolute best this business has to offer, so again I understand the significance of coming in right off the rip and making an impact! Not to mention the fact that I am well aware not a single one of you will take a single word that has or will fall from my lips here and now seriously. You’ll either shrug it off, or do the literal dumbest thing you could possibly do and try and stand in my way thinking I am no different than any other man, woman, or child who broke into this business hoping to build a resume and legacy that will last through the annals of time. Despite the fact that every word I say is true, I still don’t expect any of you to treat it that way. Yet I consider myself a very well educated person…And while I haven’t the slightest idea who it was that first said it, I know good and got damn well that it really is true…
“TALK IS F’N CHEAP”
…Which IS WHY EVERYONE F’N BUYS IT!!!
SO while I have already said a great deal, I hope you all know I didn’t go through all of this trouble to bring you all here tonight, nor did I say a single word, phrase or sentence that I expect any of you watching this to be taken as GOSPEL. Hell, even those of you that hear the words I speak, look into my eyes and see the same conviction with which my words have sharply spoken and know in the back of your mind and in the depths of your gut as it ties you up in knots as your imagination suddenly burns the mental image of you at my feet and everything you once built and stood for is in a million broken pieces on the ground, I still don’t expect any of you on any roster of one of the wrestling promotions I hope to join to believe a single word I say. I know I’m not the first to make the claims I have made here tonight…Shit from what I have been told everyone comes in
SAYING THE EXACT SAME SHIT
…Only Worded Much More Poorly.
Respect, clout, fear, trust, aren’t things anyone in this business acquires without putting foot to ass! SO know I don’t expect you to believe my words just because I came out here and said them…Just as long as you, my prospective opponents, rivals, and enemies all understand that just because you don’t believe a word I say doesn’t make me a liar…And of all the things I may be boys and girls…A liar aint fuckin one of them ya digg?
For instance, the reason I chose to film, produce, and air this promo before I officially sign with any wrestling promotion I want to make sure everyone gets a glimpse of the man that will be their near and clear immediate and distant futures. I am what some of the boys and broadcaster’s refer to as a
GAME CHANGER
Or to be more precise because as I am sure each roster has at least one to three fuck mooks on their roster than consider themselves SHOWSTOPPERS…Which is of course very cute…and for all we know probably true, but even if you took all three of your SHOWSTOPPERS after me at once I hope at least one of you will have the sense to call the metaphorical FAT LADY and tell her to wait for her que…Because that fat bitch, all three “SHOWSTOPPERS, and every man woman and child wtchin in the arena or at home will see that at no point did the SHOWSTOP, they will be unable to preform the function they are known for because The INFAMOUS ONYXX BREKKAR is more than a SHOWSTOPPER…I’m a got damn
SHOWSTEALER!!!
…So Mind Your Pockets FELLAS!!!
Now I’d say that was more than a proper introduction…because well I am not even on a roster and I just proved I could, can, and always will out talk any and every last one of you, and when we climb in between them ropes the humiliation and failure doesn’t stop it just gets worse…
A LOT F’N WORSE
…And Let Me Just Say OUTLOUD…That I Aint Sorry…Not Even KINDA!
…There that pretty much covers everything I wanted to say. However don’t leave just yet, because there is actually one more statement I need to make to ensure that my prospective employers and roster mates hear loudly and clearly! SO please if you’ll excuse me for a moment…I have to get back to my guests…
Onyxx Brekkar slightly smirks while raising his eyebrows as he glares hard into the camera briefly, as he walks back behind his desk and grabs his black and white pin striped jacket and casually throws it on. He takes the cigarette almost smoked all the way down to the buttt and firmly puts it out in a beautiful glass ash trey that as a white crystal skull in the middle and underneath it’s jaw bone are the letters W.A.R.
Onyxx opens the desk drawer and removes what appears to be his wallet but we see a platinum casing with a bold black Templar cross in the center of it along with other markings and symbols we don’t recgonize. He lowers the shade on the window in the office he has been hiding from his guests in and sees the large crowd. He takes a deep breathe reaches in his jacket pocket and removes a bottle of eye drops and drops a single drop in each eye. Lord Infamous briefly pauses for a moment as if he was allowing some wave of euphoria to wash over him and return him to the crowd pleaser he was expected to be once he is on the other side of the door. He looks at his sponsor/squire as both exchange a light hearted chuckle as Onyxx goes to open the door, but before his hand can twist the knob he turns to his squire and asks…
Onyxx Brekkar: Wait…Kaz, is everything prepared?
Kaztor Blake: Come on Nix, when have I ever let you down?
Kaz’s eyes lower as he is expecting his charge to open the door as Mr. Blake was quite certain he knew the answer to the question he asked in response to his best friend and leader’s original question.
Onyxx Brekkar: Kaz while your record is impeccable when it comes to matters such as these, I’m afraid you have left me no other choice than to linger here a moment longer so that you can get your facts straight.
Kaztor Blake: We can sit all night if ya want to! My track record is flawless! You must have me confused with someone el…Wait!...Ohh NO! That’s not fair I completely fuckin forgot about…
Onyxx Brekkar: How convenient, and the most humorous thing about this subject is that we don’t even have to go digging in the old testament to find a record of your recent…blunder shall we say…
Kaztor Blake: You swore we would never speak of this again!
Onyxx Brekkar: Which is why I prefaced what I said by informing you I was left without choice…Just because we have both decided to never speak of the INFAMOUS BALTIMORE BLUNDER again doesn’t mean it didn’t happen, because my father assured me that neither of us should show our faces in the state of Maryland for a while…
Kaztor Blake: We really can’t go back?...Like for how long?
Onyxx Brekkar: He didn’t say specifically…Ohh wait yeah he did…He said if we were smart we’d never go back…But I’m sure it will all blow over a few years will go by and most of the people won’t remember you running over The Senator’s four puppies while getting road head from his…Was it his wife?
Kaztor Blake: No his sister! And that isn’t fair she used her teeth..Who uses their teeth?
Onyxx Brekkar: I mean I don’t have the numbers here in front of me, but if I had to guess I’d say at least every female out here under the age of 24…I don’t know what they are teaching kids these days but it aint working! But that is ok…Because one of the main motivators behind this new venture we are about to go on is correcting some of those mistakes…But we can cross that bridge once we arrive to it…For now we have guests to entertain and a point to make…I don’t have all night to sit here and debate a puppy MURDERER!
Kaztor Blake: Forgive me for speaking out of turn my liege, but why do you insist on referring to me like that especially after promising to never speak of it again!
Onyxx Brekkar: I vowed to not speak of the specific incident again…You running over the puppies was just a fraction of what happened…Albeit a rather large part of what happened. But still I’ll make you a deal here and now…I’ll stop calling you a Puppy Killer, the day you stop crying when I do call you that! Now are you ready? Dry your eyes you look like you were in here watching an episode of the Gilmore girls or something!...Ready?
Kaztor Blake: Wait!...WAIT! I just need to ask…Does it make it any better if I told you I thought they were cats, or squirrels?
Onyxx Brekkar:...Uhh I’m gunna have to go with ABSOLUTELY NOT! Actually I don’t know why exactly but it kinda makes it worse! But ohh well get your shit together you can spend the entire first day of 2023 blubbering like the dude who shot Old Yeller, but right now…It’s game time!
Kaztor runs his hands across his eyes trying to wipe away any hint of his tears as he smacks himself on the cheeks simultaneously as he looks at his Charge and Best Friend and nods. Onyxx then looks at his friend shakes his head, rolls his eyes, and then opens the door. As the door swings open we see nothing but a sea of unbelievably gorgeous women dressed to kill. The other men in suits hold their drinks and toast their host.
The camera pans out as we watch pro wrestling’s boldest new prospect work the room like a pro. Every bit the charmer his father is Onyxx is able to carry a conversation with everyone he speaks to around the room. He and his squire were separated once they left the room Onyxx used to cut his promo. Kaztor Blake is speaking with a recently widowed Judge’s wife here in the fine state of New York City. They are standing underneath a large flat screen TV that is showing the countdown to the infamous New York tradition of dropping the ball in Time Square every New Years Eve at Midnight. Suddenly Kaztor’s eyes shoot across the room where three strangely familiar faces are oddly standing in the corner of the room right next to the entrance.
Anywhere else at any other time these three men would be completely unnoticeable. They have forgettable faces indeed, but their seemingly dity faces, worn clothes, and unkempt look make them stick out like Donald Trump at a Women’s Right’s Rally. Kaztor sees theis and immediately excuses himself from the conversation he was having and quickly leads the three men as discreetly as he can to a balcony overlooking the busy streets below. Being only couple of blocks from Time Square the noise from the streets below of the CIty that NEVER SLEEPS resonates all the way up where Kaztor Blake and the three gentlemen are standing shivering in the cold as they obviously await an audience with Onyxx Brekkar. Onyxx takes his time but eventually strolls out onto the balcony with a care free yet confident smirk on his face, as he gives the young blonde on his arm a kiss in the cheek following directions on where to wait for him while he finishes his business out here. Onyxx grabs the railing and leans over the side getting a feel for how far up they were and then he shoots back not saying a word to anyone. Kaztor reaches in his jacketpocket and removes a metal cigarette case from the breast pocket of his jacket and opens it holding it for Mr. Brekkar who eagerly accepts.
He pops it in his mouth and then cups his hands as Kaztor holds the zippo as the flame wildly jerks and thrashes in the air until the flame jerks and gently dances across the tip of Onyxx Brekkar’s cigarette. He takes a long deep drag before opening his mouth and letting the smoke gently escape his mouth. The smoke rises and then vanishes into the air before Onyxx turns and gets down to business.
Onyxx Brekkar: These are the men you hired Kaz?
Kaztor Blake: Yes they are your excellence. All three of them the lowest paid refs of all three wrestling promotions TAPOUT, HardKore, and Wrestling UK…
Onyxx Brekkar: Splendid! And I trust everything was handled the way I instructed down to the letter? All majority owners of each of the promotions that are probably just now finding out that their product was taken without permission so I could make clear my point and stance moving forward, and they will be fully compensated for their loss plus a good bit extra just as a gesture of good will, of course…Ya know since I’m hoping to work for one or all of these sons a bitches one day right? I suppose now all I can do is hope they see things from where I’m standing because I’m not like anything they have seen or dealt with before, I may sound or even look like what has been a JohnnyComeandFaiLLately!...When I make a statement I am willing to go to any an every measure and extreme if necessary to see those words eventually carved in stone metaphorically speaking…
Kaztor Blake: All T’s crossed and all i’s dotted!
Onyxx Brekkar: Very well then gentlemen Mr. Kaz here has your payment…Your entire salary for the year plus five thousand per diem?
The men all smile and eagerly shake their head, as Onyxx removes the three thick envelopes from his jacket pocket and hands them to each man individually. A big wide grin then slowly creeps across his face and we are able to see the excitement in his crystal clear baby blue eyes, as he pats the men on the shoulder and heads back inside.
Onyxx walks directly into the living room area of the large hotel room at The Plaza New York’s biggest and fanciest hotel. Onyxx then motions for the DJ to cut the music as Onyxx looks up at the TV screen to show that it is almost time for the ball to drop. We see men in white button down shirts with black vests and bowties quickly surround everyone in the room while holding bottles of Dom Perigon in their hands. They start filling people’s glasses as Onyxx looks off into the distance as if he was stealing a moment to make sure he used the right words for what came next.
Onyxx Brekkar: Now ladies and gentlemen if you’d like to join me on the roof as we bring in this brand new year that seemingly holds such promise already…Which hey considering how the last two years have gone…The way I see it most of us have only to go up from here. So again please fill your glasses or just grab the got damn bottles and join me on the roof…Because although we won’t be down in the middle of all that craziness in TimeSquare we will still bring the new year in in our own sort of way…So let’s get to the clock is ticking!
Scene then cuts to the roof top where we see Kaztor frantically running around trying to make the last minute preparations. We see the three men unloading huge boxes. Huge large boxes that have baubles trinkets and tshirts pouring out of them. As the camera pans over them we notice that the things stuffed in these boxes looks like it all came from the merchandise stands of three of the top wrestling promotions in the XHF. Once the boxes are all loaded then the three men each grab two full cans of gasoline and proceed to empy them onto all the boxes, containers t-shirts, belts, action figures. Everything sold at a merchandise stand at TAPOUT, Wrestling UK, and HARDKORE are in the middle of a giant group of people standing in a circle.
Every single person standing in this circle seems confused about what was going on. Everyone save Lord INFAMOUS Onyxx Brekkar who was a look of sheer confidence as he pauses and soaks in the moment and watches as his thoughts became actions and now there is no way in hell anyone who works for either or any of these three wrestling promotions will not be aware of the presence of pro wrestling’s true REDEEMER…Onyxx Brekkar flicks a cigarette butt over the balcony and then steps forward into the circle and begins to make his final point…
He goes to open his mouth but catches himself. He pauses and then walks over to Kaz who already knew what he was walking over there for, so Kaz reaches into his pocket and hands Onyxx his silver zippo. Onyxx Brekkar then walks to the closest corner of the pile of wrestling merch doused in grade A gasoline, and he flicks the top open runs the lighter across his knee and holds it in the air for a moment before bringing it down around his waist and allows the flame to dance across a row of black TAPOUT shirts. Onyxx then walks to the center and does the same and then finally to the other side.
Fortunately the winds were favorable and as Onyxx finally got the last side lit he stood back and everyone stood in silence and watched as the small flames slowly but surely grew larger and larger as the flames consumed everything in it’s path…The clothes, the cardboard boxes, the action figures, title belts, it all burned in a quiet yet furious flame as fireworks began popping all around them. Kaztor Blake stood in awe of his charge who didn’t raise a single eyelash up at the sky, but it was clear to Kastor as it should be clear to the rest of you that this moment, not a fraction of a second of it was lost on the man whom proudly introduced himself to you just a few short moments ago.
His eyes reflected off the flickering flames as he removed a cigarette from his pocket walked over to the flickering flames slightly bent his head as the fire he started lit his smoke from him, as he stood back while exhaling the smoke. You could tell by the cocky smirk plastered across his face he was quite pleased with himself…
…And why the hell shouldn’t he be. A mere twenty four hours after making the decision to venture out into the world and become a pro wrestler, which is an act that is almost unspeakable to the circle he was born and raised in. But the decision has already been made, and drastic measures were taken to make sure his message was not only sent but heard loudly and clearly, and yes while he had already authorized the payments to the companies that he had his people commonder every scrap of merchandise the three top XHF promotions had to sell at their arena and house shows over the weekend was now lying in a large ple of ashes and embers, a mess that someone not named Onyxx Brekkar was going to have to clean up.
SO instead of making the move that would see him promoted to the Captain of the OBVIOUS MILITARY, instead he simply removed the mics from his clothes and tossed them into the now small flames flickering and fading away into another cold New York New Years EVE. He chose not to say a word because he already said what needed to be said…And if a picture is truly worth a thousand words…Then the video of him putting all of the top XHF promotion’s merchandise to the torch said everything Lord Infamous already said and more. But if you still need someone to spell it out for you…Consider this your final warning…
…His Name is Onyxx Brekkar
…THE INFAMOUS ONYXX BREKKAR
And All He Came Here To DO WAS FUCK YOUR DAY ALL UP!!!
…See YALL REALLLLL SOON!!!
…And that was the end of it or so he thought. Until suddenly the entire party came to a complete screeching halt, and depending on who you ask some say the moment they heard the distinct voice of one of the most powerful men in the entire world call out every flame, ember, or glow immediately burnt out and ash began to blow off the side of the building as everyone turned towards the balcony doors that lead back into the hotel room, as everyone Onyxx Brekker included stared in utter shock, amazement and perhaps even a drop or two of real life fear as the voice spoke again only this time we can make out the words…
Preston Brekkar: I don’t know why or how…I don’t even care what it will take but anyone still in this hotel room by the time I get out of the pisser will truly live to regret it…And those of you who know who I am know good and got damn well I’ve never made an ideal threat in my entire life…And make no mistake about it…THAT WAS A THREAT!...Onyxx Brekkar…COME HERE NOW!!!!
Onyxx Brekkar: Dad…WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOIN HERE???
….Sorry, right when shit gets interesting is when we cut it off…If ya want the rest of the story guess you’ll have to sign us…See yall round the way!