The Power of Teamwork (Copycat/Battle For Hegemony)
Jan 5, 2023 23:51:37 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer and mosler like this
Post by ForeverKuroi on Jan 5, 2023 23:51:37 GMT -5
Fade in. The body of a bald man in a leather jacket and jean pants sitting down in a corporate chair. He’s across the desk from a slim, yet slightly corporate-type, working on the computer. The camera turns around and we can see who this bald character is.
Copycat: So yeah, we have this team match coming up. An Xtraction match, if you will. I’m supposed to work with all of them, so I was thinking, ‘Let’s work together, right?’
Character: Uh-huh…
Copycat: So yeah. It hasn’t been really easy. Getting a hold of the fellas is harder than I thought! I was hoping we’d have a nice little pow wow and they’d be hitting me up so we can play some Monopoly and hit the town and then after that, we could discuss our team. I was even hoping to share my ketchup and honey dip that I invented when I was eating from the trash at the local KFC dumpster, but no one reached out to me!
Character: Ugh…
Copycat: Look, I know that all these tag teams and everyone come out there with a good, solid strategy and they have their act together and they’re really prepared, and all. So I was thinking, ‘Yeah! That’s a good idea!’ So I decided to message the fellas in our team and get to this! Like this guy, Raiden. He’s hard to get a hold of. Here’s how the discussion happened.
Copycat: And then I was like, “Maybe that Steve Awesome guy would want to help me out!
Copycat blushes.
Copycat: He’s so cool. I also. But he kind of changed the subject and then I got distracted I guess! I mean, he’s got the charm in play so we ended up talking about something completely different. That’s what good pals do!
Copycat: I guess we got so distracted that Steve didn’t invite me to hang out. I tried bringing it up but he stopped responding. Maybe he lost service. I hate when that happens! I just knew that there was no time like the present, so I had to chat with my good ol’ teammates! So I’m like, ’Then I guess we talk to the former champ himself, Dylan! But he just didn’t answer me for… some reason.
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Copycat: I thought maybe I typed the number wrong. I mean accidents happen, right? I didn’t really know what to do so I decided to guess all these different numbers. Like I switched the last two numbers and I thought, ‘Maybe it wasn’t a five. Maybe that number was actually a nine.’ So I did a little bit of digging and kind of guessed different numbers. …Kind of accidentally caught some weirdos too, heh!
Copycat: When I heard a knock on the door, I expected Dylan himself! Instead, I found a big guy with acne, bad breath and a misunderstanding of how close you can be next to someone in a social situation. Oh boy, I had some rough times trying to get him out of my house, ha ha!
Character: You realize I’m not listening to you, right?
Copycat: Then I thought, there are some other people in my team I could reach out to. I made a silly little error and made a slight mistake. Reached out to one of the guys from the other team. Kind enough of a person, though. I’m sure they understood it was an honest mistake. I’m sure there aren’t any worries there!
Copycat: I took a look at the match card and realized that they were right. We weren’t on the same card but maybe one day that will all change and we can be! I think we’d both like that! Armand’s so cool! Anyways, I decided that I might be alone on this so I thought, ‘If they can all do it on their own, so can I!” Because I get that this industry is all about kill or be killed and that whole mentality, I can do the same! Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m incapable! Pregnant people have run marathons and run countries! We’ve been CEOs and saved liiiiIIIIOOOOOOH I’m like having the BIGGGEST craving for pickles! I am jonesing SO HARD RIGHT NOW.
Character: For fuck’s sake…
Copycat: Do you have DoorDash? Oh wait, stop. I got DoorDash. Is it… Wait, or is it GrubHub? Where do they have pickle-OH THERE’S A RUBY TUESDAY, LARRY! Want to go!?
Larry: Look, I’m going to have to be frank with you. I don’t want you to think I’m a friend to you. I’m trying to be cordial and nice to you, but if you could stop following me all the time, I’d be very thankful.
Copycat: What?! We’re buddies! We’re pals! We hang out! We tell each other jokes and help each other when we’re having rough times! That’s what friends do!
Larry: Friends indeed do that but, no… We’re not buddies. You started following me because three years ago, I mistook you for a homeless man-
Copycat: - I was indeed homeless!
Larry sighs.
Larry: …and I decided to give you $20.
Copycat nostalgically sighs.
Copycat: Ah, the good ol’ days! It was twenty dollars, but it was also one moment that united two friends in this crazy world of ours.
Larry: ...And, you thought we were friends. That’s the conclusion you came up with. So you followed me around. It’s not hanging out. I’m just not calling security on you because I feel bad for you. You’re obviously dying of some true friendship, but I’m not the one to give it to you. Again, I could call security although, obviously in my capacity as an attorney with the XHF Network legal team-
Copycat: You’re the best in the business!
Larry: …I’d certainly be in the right to do so. I just don’t want to do that to you. Also, you also tell jokes, and I ignore them because they’re not funny.
Copycat: Come on. You don’t get it! I said, ‘I remember 2022 like it was yesterday!’ on Sunday because it was New Year's day! In that joke, ‘Yesterday’ was New Year's EVE 2022!
Larry: It’s NOT funny. Sorry, but the joke just didn't land. In fact, none of your jokes do! And when you say we help each other through rough times, I don’t tell you anything but you gossip all day, or you go on about all the weird and torturous experiences with Terry Bradshaw, or you talk about your erratic behavior and pregnancy cravings, and it’s… It’s just weird!
Copycat: Oh, okay. I admit fault. See, in order to make this friendship work between us, you’re going to have to meet me midway. You’re my best friend, dude!
Larry: Freakin’ get the message, you idio-
The phone rings. Larry sharply exhales. He answers it.
Larry: This is Larry. …What?! Is anyone hurt? I see. I’ll be right there.
Larry grumbles to himself as he quickly stands up. He grabs his coat and walks towards the door.
Larry: I don’t have time for this right now.
Copycat: What’s going on?
Larry: Apparently one of the security guards at the XHF Network Arena actually told Jeffrey Viper that he needed to wear a shirt. He tried acting all Rosa Parks saying that he doesn’t hear them saying it to Michael Storm and then he tried to claim that the XHF was racist against white people. The police are getting involved and the media’s starting to catch wind of this because… Of course, Viper would start trying to make a scene of this. I obviously need to do some serious damage control.
Copycat: That totally sucks, bud! I bet he’s like 95-percent of your legal load!
Larry: You’d be surprised. A lot of us are assigned to Mongo-duty.
Copycat: …Huh?
Larry: Have you seen these wrestling matches? We’ve had literal Death matches here! Do you know how hard it is to keep the health insurance companies off our backs and lawsuits minimized?
Copycat: Oh wow.
Larry: Also the amount of lawsuits we had from the FCC because of the kind of promos that guys like Duke Kosloff and Greg Adkins put out there. Not just that, but the censors missed them. What the fuck were these guys thinking!?
Copycat: They’re probably thinking, ‘Heh! Might want to win a match!”
Larry: …
With a sigh, Larry leaves the room. Copycat spends a moment with a happy-go-lucky smile on his face. After a full ten seconds, he reads between the lines and his smile fades.
Copycat: It’s not easy to get into this business with this kind of mindset. Maybe they’re right. Maybe the world is all ‘go for the throat’ and ‘every man for themself’. They see it as a pro. Maybe they’re independent. Maybe they’re self-sufficient and maybe they can do well when there’s a great, big obstacle in your path. But maybe it’s not such a good thing. Because many hands make for light work and because two are always better than one. I have to ask myself how well they’re doing, but I’m here to send a strong message to my opponents out there.
Copycat lifts up his two chins to show exposed second degree burns on a portion of his neck.
Copycat: Mr. Bradshaw wanted to play pin the tail on the donkey but by donkey, he meant me… and by tail, he meant a blow torch.
Copycat points to a large scrape at the right side of his mouth.
Copycat: And one time, he wanted to practice magic tricks because he thinks I can do magic for some reason and tried telling me he could throw a knife at an apple in my mouth blindfolded. I mean… It’s true. He actually did do that.
Copycat winces in pain.
Copycat: …Eventually.
He shakes away the trauma.
Copycat: So if you think about it, I have a couple of skills that others may not. Sure, I may not be as physically strong as you guys, but at least I can be resourceful, and emotionally in tune with the rest of yours. At least I have a great teamplayer and strong work ethic! And yes, I can do this while pregnant! You see, maybe I am pregnant, but that’s not some bad thing! Pregnant people can do great things you know! And if you think about it, I’ll be fighting as two! I’ll have the support of my fans and my little baby. Oh my god, you guys! What am I going to name him… or her? Oh no, I’m going to have to put together a baby registry! This is going to be so exciting!
Copycat giddies while hopping up and down a few times.
Copycat: But yeah. See this attitude. Me being a bit optimistic? This is the mindset of someone who has been electrocuted, burned, sliced, starved, humiliated and tortured in ways not seen for decades. I’ve watched the SAW movies and said, “I hate when that happens.” I’ve been given tens of thousands of reasons to never have hope for the future, but I’ve still managed to find one to go on despite it all, I still have a smile on while I still can. I think that says a lot about my mental endurance. Without trying to toot my own horn, I don’t think that there are many who have gone through half of what I have. And I understand how it sounds. I’m not going to make a rap album, but I have a few struggles I’ve had to overcome in the past.
Copycat tries a rap pose. He throws his arms over his and over the other arm. He stops when another corporate suit looks in through the window before slowly shaking his head and walking off toward the water cooler in the background.
Copycat: I’m a pregnant, homeless man of both below-average looks and intelligence. I have every disadvantage in the world. But I’m still here, and I’m still fighting. There isn’t a lot to say about me. I can’t get the ladies, and I don’t own a lot. Other than my son, Copykitten, all I have right now is all that I am. I have nothing else. So who am I? I’m a survivor. I’m someone who finds reasons and sees excuses. I’m someone who knows the worst of humanity because I’ve lived through it. I’m someone who has seen pain and wears it like a badge of honor. …And I’m someone who keeps fighting because the only other option is death, and I have too much life left in me to do that quite yet.
The same corporate suit from before stops again with a plastic cup of water. He sees Copycat talking to himself in the empty room. The employee takes a sip of water before shaking his head once more and walking away.
Copycat: Sure, I’ve got some space away from Mr. Bradshaw, but while he may have been the biggest impact that has downgraded my life into poverty, he’s far from the only source. My team doesn’t want to work with me. The Network owner doesn’t even know who I am, and people are treating me like I’m some sort of freak-OOOH, MY FEET ARE SORE!
Copycat sits down, takes off his shoes, socks, and begins to rub his bunions.
Copycat: We have a formidable team across the aisle. They’re no strangers to the spotlight. They’re no strangers to gold. They’re no stranger to having their arms raised at the end of the match. How are our chances? Not sure, to be quite honest with you. I don’t know how they work together. They could be working together like perfect partners, but they could also be having the same team strategy as us, which is… Not much, but we may have an advantage. We have diversity. We have the strong and the weak. We have fellas from all different wrestling promotions, and we have someone who still believes in the power of teamwork. We have the power of someone who still tries, and I’ll prove this to you right now.
Copycat pulls out a phone. He starts dialing a number before bringing the phone to his ear.
Copycat: Hey there, Larry! My main man, Larry! Long time no see, buddy! So I was thinking… After you deal with this whole Jeffrey Viper racist nonsense, I’m sure you’re going to be tired and maybe even hungry so there’s this one place I googled. Yeah, I didn’t click on it or research it yet but it’s called The Golden Banana. I think it’s some sort of smoothie joint. I also saw something in it, talking about creampies. Maybe they just have a whole bunch of desserts. Maybe we could go there together and see where the night leads us?
Pause.
Copycat: He… Hello?
He looks down at the phone. The telephone call has ended.
Copycat: Maybe he’s in a bad service zone or his phone ran out of battery. Maybe I’ll head over that way and meet him over there.
Copycat winks at the camera before the scene fades to black.
Copycat: So yeah, we have this team match coming up. An Xtraction match, if you will. I’m supposed to work with all of them, so I was thinking, ‘Let’s work together, right?’
Character: Uh-huh…
Copycat: So yeah. It hasn’t been really easy. Getting a hold of the fellas is harder than I thought! I was hoping we’d have a nice little pow wow and they’d be hitting me up so we can play some Monopoly and hit the town and then after that, we could discuss our team. I was even hoping to share my ketchup and honey dip that I invented when I was eating from the trash at the local KFC dumpster, but no one reached out to me!
Character: Ugh…
Copycat: Look, I know that all these tag teams and everyone come out there with a good, solid strategy and they have their act together and they’re really prepared, and all. So I was thinking, ‘Yeah! That’s a good idea!’ So I decided to message the fellas in our team and get to this! Like this guy, Raiden. He’s hard to get a hold of. Here’s how the discussion happened.
Copycat: And then I was like, “Maybe that Steve Awesome guy would want to help me out!
Copycat blushes.
Copycat: He’s so cool. I also. But he kind of changed the subject and then I got distracted I guess! I mean, he’s got the charm in play so we ended up talking about something completely different. That’s what good pals do!
Copycat: I guess we got so distracted that Steve didn’t invite me to hang out. I tried bringing it up but he stopped responding. Maybe he lost service. I hate when that happens! I just knew that there was no time like the present, so I had to chat with my good ol’ teammates! So I’m like, ’Then I guess we talk to the former champ himself, Dylan! But he just didn’t answer me for… some reason.
"]Copycat: I thought maybe I typed the number wrong. I mean accidents happen, right? I didn’t really know what to do so I decided to guess all these different numbers. Like I switched the last two numbers and I thought, ‘Maybe it wasn’t a five. Maybe that number was actually a nine.’ So I did a little bit of digging and kind of guessed different numbers. …Kind of accidentally caught some weirdos too, heh!
Copycat: When I heard a knock on the door, I expected Dylan himself! Instead, I found a big guy with acne, bad breath and a misunderstanding of how close you can be next to someone in a social situation. Oh boy, I had some rough times trying to get him out of my house, ha ha!
Character: You realize I’m not listening to you, right?
Copycat: Then I thought, there are some other people in my team I could reach out to. I made a silly little error and made a slight mistake. Reached out to one of the guys from the other team. Kind enough of a person, though. I’m sure they understood it was an honest mistake. I’m sure there aren’t any worries there!
Copycat: I took a look at the match card and realized that they were right. We weren’t on the same card but maybe one day that will all change and we can be! I think we’d both like that! Armand’s so cool! Anyways, I decided that I might be alone on this so I thought, ‘If they can all do it on their own, so can I!” Because I get that this industry is all about kill or be killed and that whole mentality, I can do the same! Just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m incapable! Pregnant people have run marathons and run countries! We’ve been CEOs and saved liiiiIIIIOOOOOOH I’m like having the BIGGGEST craving for pickles! I am jonesing SO HARD RIGHT NOW.
Character: For fuck’s sake…
Copycat: Do you have DoorDash? Oh wait, stop. I got DoorDash. Is it… Wait, or is it GrubHub? Where do they have pickle-OH THERE’S A RUBY TUESDAY, LARRY! Want to go!?
Larry: Look, I’m going to have to be frank with you. I don’t want you to think I’m a friend to you. I’m trying to be cordial and nice to you, but if you could stop following me all the time, I’d be very thankful.
Copycat: What?! We’re buddies! We’re pals! We hang out! We tell each other jokes and help each other when we’re having rough times! That’s what friends do!
Larry: Friends indeed do that but, no… We’re not buddies. You started following me because three years ago, I mistook you for a homeless man-
Copycat: - I was indeed homeless!
Larry sighs.
Larry: …and I decided to give you $20.
Copycat nostalgically sighs.
Copycat: Ah, the good ol’ days! It was twenty dollars, but it was also one moment that united two friends in this crazy world of ours.
Larry: ...And, you thought we were friends. That’s the conclusion you came up with. So you followed me around. It’s not hanging out. I’m just not calling security on you because I feel bad for you. You’re obviously dying of some true friendship, but I’m not the one to give it to you. Again, I could call security although, obviously in my capacity as an attorney with the XHF Network legal team-
Copycat: You’re the best in the business!
Larry: …I’d certainly be in the right to do so. I just don’t want to do that to you. Also, you also tell jokes, and I ignore them because they’re not funny.
Copycat: Come on. You don’t get it! I said, ‘I remember 2022 like it was yesterday!’ on Sunday because it was New Year's day! In that joke, ‘Yesterday’ was New Year's EVE 2022!
Larry: It’s NOT funny. Sorry, but the joke just didn't land. In fact, none of your jokes do! And when you say we help each other through rough times, I don’t tell you anything but you gossip all day, or you go on about all the weird and torturous experiences with Terry Bradshaw, or you talk about your erratic behavior and pregnancy cravings, and it’s… It’s just weird!
Copycat: Oh, okay. I admit fault. See, in order to make this friendship work between us, you’re going to have to meet me midway. You’re my best friend, dude!
Larry: Freakin’ get the message, you idio-
The phone rings. Larry sharply exhales. He answers it.
Larry: This is Larry. …What?! Is anyone hurt? I see. I’ll be right there.
Larry grumbles to himself as he quickly stands up. He grabs his coat and walks towards the door.
Larry: I don’t have time for this right now.
Copycat: What’s going on?
Larry: Apparently one of the security guards at the XHF Network Arena actually told Jeffrey Viper that he needed to wear a shirt. He tried acting all Rosa Parks saying that he doesn’t hear them saying it to Michael Storm and then he tried to claim that the XHF was racist against white people. The police are getting involved and the media’s starting to catch wind of this because… Of course, Viper would start trying to make a scene of this. I obviously need to do some serious damage control.
Copycat: That totally sucks, bud! I bet he’s like 95-percent of your legal load!
Larry: You’d be surprised. A lot of us are assigned to Mongo-duty.
Copycat: …Huh?
Larry: Have you seen these wrestling matches? We’ve had literal Death matches here! Do you know how hard it is to keep the health insurance companies off our backs and lawsuits minimized?
Copycat: Oh wow.
Larry: Also the amount of lawsuits we had from the FCC because of the kind of promos that guys like Duke Kosloff and Greg Adkins put out there. Not just that, but the censors missed them. What the fuck were these guys thinking!?
Copycat: They’re probably thinking, ‘Heh! Might want to win a match!”
Larry: …
With a sigh, Larry leaves the room. Copycat spends a moment with a happy-go-lucky smile on his face. After a full ten seconds, he reads between the lines and his smile fades.
Copycat: It’s not easy to get into this business with this kind of mindset. Maybe they’re right. Maybe the world is all ‘go for the throat’ and ‘every man for themself’. They see it as a pro. Maybe they’re independent. Maybe they’re self-sufficient and maybe they can do well when there’s a great, big obstacle in your path. But maybe it’s not such a good thing. Because many hands make for light work and because two are always better than one. I have to ask myself how well they’re doing, but I’m here to send a strong message to my opponents out there.
Copycat lifts up his two chins to show exposed second degree burns on a portion of his neck.
Copycat: Mr. Bradshaw wanted to play pin the tail on the donkey but by donkey, he meant me… and by tail, he meant a blow torch.
Copycat points to a large scrape at the right side of his mouth.
Copycat: And one time, he wanted to practice magic tricks because he thinks I can do magic for some reason and tried telling me he could throw a knife at an apple in my mouth blindfolded. I mean… It’s true. He actually did do that.
Copycat winces in pain.
Copycat: …Eventually.
He shakes away the trauma.
Copycat: So if you think about it, I have a couple of skills that others may not. Sure, I may not be as physically strong as you guys, but at least I can be resourceful, and emotionally in tune with the rest of yours. At least I have a great teamplayer and strong work ethic! And yes, I can do this while pregnant! You see, maybe I am pregnant, but that’s not some bad thing! Pregnant people can do great things you know! And if you think about it, I’ll be fighting as two! I’ll have the support of my fans and my little baby. Oh my god, you guys! What am I going to name him… or her? Oh no, I’m going to have to put together a baby registry! This is going to be so exciting!
Copycat giddies while hopping up and down a few times.
Copycat: But yeah. See this attitude. Me being a bit optimistic? This is the mindset of someone who has been electrocuted, burned, sliced, starved, humiliated and tortured in ways not seen for decades. I’ve watched the SAW movies and said, “I hate when that happens.” I’ve been given tens of thousands of reasons to never have hope for the future, but I’ve still managed to find one to go on despite it all, I still have a smile on while I still can. I think that says a lot about my mental endurance. Without trying to toot my own horn, I don’t think that there are many who have gone through half of what I have. And I understand how it sounds. I’m not going to make a rap album, but I have a few struggles I’ve had to overcome in the past.
Copycat tries a rap pose. He throws his arms over his and over the other arm. He stops when another corporate suit looks in through the window before slowly shaking his head and walking off toward the water cooler in the background.
Copycat: I’m a pregnant, homeless man of both below-average looks and intelligence. I have every disadvantage in the world. But I’m still here, and I’m still fighting. There isn’t a lot to say about me. I can’t get the ladies, and I don’t own a lot. Other than my son, Copykitten, all I have right now is all that I am. I have nothing else. So who am I? I’m a survivor. I’m someone who finds reasons and sees excuses. I’m someone who knows the worst of humanity because I’ve lived through it. I’m someone who has seen pain and wears it like a badge of honor. …And I’m someone who keeps fighting because the only other option is death, and I have too much life left in me to do that quite yet.
The same corporate suit from before stops again with a plastic cup of water. He sees Copycat talking to himself in the empty room. The employee takes a sip of water before shaking his head once more and walking away.
Copycat: Sure, I’ve got some space away from Mr. Bradshaw, but while he may have been the biggest impact that has downgraded my life into poverty, he’s far from the only source. My team doesn’t want to work with me. The Network owner doesn’t even know who I am, and people are treating me like I’m some sort of freak-OOOH, MY FEET ARE SORE!
Copycat sits down, takes off his shoes, socks, and begins to rub his bunions.
Copycat: We have a formidable team across the aisle. They’re no strangers to the spotlight. They’re no strangers to gold. They’re no stranger to having their arms raised at the end of the match. How are our chances? Not sure, to be quite honest with you. I don’t know how they work together. They could be working together like perfect partners, but they could also be having the same team strategy as us, which is… Not much, but we may have an advantage. We have diversity. We have the strong and the weak. We have fellas from all different wrestling promotions, and we have someone who still believes in the power of teamwork. We have the power of someone who still tries, and I’ll prove this to you right now.
Copycat pulls out a phone. He starts dialing a number before bringing the phone to his ear.
Copycat: Hey there, Larry! My main man, Larry! Long time no see, buddy! So I was thinking… After you deal with this whole Jeffrey Viper racist nonsense, I’m sure you’re going to be tired and maybe even hungry so there’s this one place I googled. Yeah, I didn’t click on it or research it yet but it’s called The Golden Banana. I think it’s some sort of smoothie joint. I also saw something in it, talking about creampies. Maybe they just have a whole bunch of desserts. Maybe we could go there together and see where the night leads us?
Pause.
Copycat: He… Hello?
He looks down at the phone. The telephone call has ended.
Copycat: Maybe he’s in a bad service zone or his phone ran out of battery. Maybe I’ll head over that way and meet him over there.
Copycat winks at the camera before the scene fades to black.
