Xtraction The Movie (bfh)
Jan 13, 2023 23:46:45 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Kira Izumi, and 3 more like this
Post by Steve Awesome on Jan 13, 2023 23:46:45 GMT -5
Well after a tumultuous summer, fall, and winter, The Bang Bros came to a head inside Civil War.
But a miracle happened inside that chaotic structure of twisted steel. The Bang Bros learned to love again.
They overcame their differences, learned that petty squabbles meant nothing compared to the well being of each other.
Then they saved the world.
Seriously, you should go watch Oh Violent Night 3.
But now that the cage has been disassembled, the blood soaked up, and all the Dylan arms sweeped away everything seemed back to normal.
But even as things go back to normal, big changes still arise in the new year. Curtis has an XCrown shot. Spike is considering writing a novel. El Combatiente had a big trip he had to take. And oh yeah, Steve Awesome had a brand new enemy to take care of.
Kanyon: So……”
Curtis said as the four Bang Bros all hung out at Steve’s house.
Kanyon: Let’s go ahead and address the elephant in the room.
Kanyon, Spike and EC glance at each other and nod.
Spike: When exactly are we allowed to say “I told you so”?
Steve slowly turns and looks at his friends. He still had remnants of the wound on his forehead and he sighs.
Awesome: You each get two.
Kanyon: Told you so.
Spike: Told you so.
EC: ¡Te lo dije!
Awesome: Hey! Hey! Don’t use it all up!
Kanyon: He’s right, they might come in handy later.
Steve runs his palm through his hair and grips as he hung his head.
Awesome: I can’t believe I was so stupid.
Spike pats Steve’s shoulder to comfort him.
Spike: Hey man don’t be so hard on yourself.
Kanyon:Yeah I mean, there is a lot of people who can believe you were that stupid.
Steve glances up but is unable to process the comment as the conversation continues.
Spike: So what’s the plan? How do we get Rat back for what he did?
Awesome: I wait for that son of a bitch to come back from his latest bender and accept my challenge!
Kanyon: He’s running out of time. What if he never comes back?
Awesome shook his head.
Awesome: Oh he’ll be back. You can call him many things, but a bitch isn’t one of them. He’s gonna come back to survey the damage and Pat himself on the back. And that’s when I whip his ass and take back the nCw Championship.
“Wait, what!?”
Just then Zelda comes storming into the room where the guys had been hanging out.
Zelda: What do you mean, “take back” the ncw title?
Awesome: Well I Uh…”
Spike: Oh lord, he didn’t tell her.
Kanyon: He’s gonna die!
EC covers the eye holes of the mask.
EC: ¡No puedo mirar!
Zelda: Tell me what!? Steve, you better tell me that Rat Bastard DOESNT have my family’s dynasty in his slimey clutches.
Zelda glares into Steve’s face like an angry lioness. The Face of the Franchise slumps down in his chair like her prey.
Awesome: Well I don’t want to lie to you, Z. So I’m just not going to say anything.
She grabs a knife without even looking!
Awesome: Ahh! I gave him the belt on an episode of REIGN last summer! Don’t stab me! I hate getting stabbed!
Zelda drops the knife once she hears the truth. She didn’t like it one bit, but she knew stabbing Steve wouldn’t fix it. So he was safe for now.
Zelda: Rat Bastard doesn’t deserve to bring his drunken piece of shit ass around ANYTHING that me or you or anything that MY family built. You better fix this, Steve!
Steve nods his head and clenched his fists.
Awesome: You are right. I messed up. But I’m going to fix it. As soon as that little alcoholic vermin pops his face out from his hole in the wall!
~
STEVE AWESOME
FACE OF THE FRANCHISE
“As two thousand twenty three rolls in and I celebrate two decades in this business, it’s nice to see that I still have goals to accomplish, matches to have….scores to settle with Rat Bastard.”
“But as much as I have to look forward too, I’m just as eager to get back to how things used to be. I’m talking the good old days back in the Fall when I was the XCrown Champion.”
He sighs and pounds his chest.
“Those we’re good times.”
Steve smirks.
“It was the only times REIGN had six match cards! Oh yeah, we were living large baby. When I’m XCrown champ, we are all living large. The Face of the Franchise brings enough spotlight for everyone to get a piece. And now at Battle for Hegemony, I get the chance to have it all back. I get the chance to win my title again for a third time by walking into this four on four tag team match. Known as Xtraction. My teammates, Copycat, Raiden Ishimori and Dylan Black, going up against Poena, James Raymond, Armand VON Krauss and The Shiek.
“There are eight men walking into that tag match and they all want the win for different reasons. Some of us want to taste that glory again and others want to finally hold it for the first time. And I’ve talked to most of my team mates that like me or who are too dumb to care, and so far me and Copycat have determined so pretty good team aspects and we’re hoping to be unblocked by the others so we can send Dylan and Raiden are thoughts.”
Steve Awesome shrugs his shoulders.
“And of course, what kind of multi media movie star world champion would I be, if I didn’t say I’m back to my movie making ways. That’s right folks, I got a whole slew of movies coming out of the woodwork for you guys to enjoy! Starting with one of my personal favorites. So as I stew in my anger and rage toward Rat and mentally prepare myself for a grueling tag team match at Hegemony…take a look at the next Steve Awesome film.
XTRACTION!
The movie!
Narrator: Chris Pullem was a dentist!
Fade in on a common dentist office in the city.
Narrator: Some say he was the best dentist in town!
~
Patients Actual Testimony: I can ride a bike again!
~
Cut to the waiting room of Chris Pullem. All the patients are waiting to be called back to see the doctor.
Narrator: But you see, Chris Pullem has a double life!
Cut to the office of Chris Pullem (played by Steve Awesome) an overly buff hunk of a man attempting to portray a common dentist.
Narrator: Chris Pullem was a secret government agent who is working for the government!
Just then a man in a hood stepped into his office. Chris doesn’t look up from the medical charts as the hooded man sits down on the operating chair.
Chris Pullem: Something tells me this isn’t going to be a regular check up.
Chris can see the hooded man fingering the scalpel on the table nearby. All of a sudden the hooded man leaps into action and before Chris could blink there were three small blades sticking through his clip board!
Chris tossed it away and looked into the wild eyes of his enemy.
Narrator: It was Hoena! The crazed double agent out to stop Chris and his mission! The man was a violent hurricane, capable of tearing your flesh on a whim!
Chris fought with Hoena the Rabied in his doctors office. Hoena picks up a scraping hook and Chris has the little mirror on a stick. The struggle in yhe
Narrator: Some say that Hoena likes the pain. The pain he causes or the pain caused to him.
Chris has Hoena in a headlock and is punching him.
Hoena: OoOoOhhh. Keep doing that.
Chris slams Hoena’s head off the big light.
Hoena: Ugh yeah! That’s the stuff!
Chris Pullem: You are making it really hard to kick your ass right now!
Narrator: Hoena is the best with mind games. He uses them constantly to get into the mind of his victims. Often with info that would be impossible to know!
Hoena is punching Chris in the head and he hissed with wild eyes!
Hoena: After I’m done with you, I will take it out on your family members. Your wife and daughter!
Chris gasped!
Chris: HOW DID YOU KNOW I HAD A FAMILY!
Hoena secretly closes Wikipedia on his phone and the laughs maniacally!
Hoena: Im in your head! Muah ha ha!
Chris: Ahhhh he’s so trippy!
Soon enough the dentist gets the best of the parody and steps out of his office beaten up but victorious. He tells his front desk ladies,
Chris: No more patients for today.
Suddenly the people in the waiting room got angry and slowly came after him.
Chris: Your all double agents attempting to stop my mission aren’t you?”
They all nod.
Chris: Bring it on….
~
STEVE AWESOME
FACE OF THE FRANCHISE
“Man, that’s pretty lit so far. Am I right? Action, suspense, drama. I think we got a hit on our hands. But just for the record, if I happened to talk to the real Poena, I’d tell him to leave the theatrics at home and just do what you do suckah. Because at the end of the day, a lot of people have done some horrible things to me, and I’m still around and they aren’t, ya understand?”
He shrugs.
“I’m too stupid to be scared.
He chuckles to himself.
“And when it’s all said and done you gotta step up to my level if you want to snap this finger.”
Steve holds up his middle finger.
“At Hegemony in that Xtraction match, mind games won’t matter because everyone knows what’s at stake! Everyone will have there heads in the game. I don’t care what creepy little thing you say about my family, Poena, I’ll just slap there names out of your mouth at Hegemony and take my team one step closer to Supremacy!
Steve sticks his arms out.
“Poena, if you think you are stepping between me and my XCrown Shot, then at Hegemony, I will beat the rabies out of you, boy!”
~
XTRACTION
The Movie
~
Chris Pullem stood on top of a roof that overlooked the city.
He had on a leather jacket over his doctors coat. Somehow he also got his motorcycle parked on the roof next to him.
Chris Pullem: So there I was. A marked man. Everyone knew I was the best. They knew only I could complete the mission. There was an evil association of double agents and I had to find its leader. It seems the leader has implanted secret government secrets in there tooth! And as the worlds greatest dentist, it’s up to me to XTRACT IT!
See, xtraction, dentist, it all comes together.
“Not so fast.”
“Times up, Pullem!”
Chris slowly turns around to find Ember Van Crust and The Sheet! Two more blood thirsty double agents ready to stop Chris and his plans to save the world.
The Sheet: It’s time to die!
Ember Van Crust: And after, I can watch you have sex with my wife because my genitals don’t work.
The sheet glances over.
The Sheet: Dude! I told you not to say that!
Just then Chris runs in and the fight is on. Now these dudes are the serious type. They don’t take crap. They are just as murderous as Hoena but they lose brownie points for just being petty thugs. But they are definitely strong.
We see Sheet and Ember almost knocking Chris over the edge of the building. But Chris makes a comeback.
But these two can be handled. Nothing would stop our hero from completing the mission and Xtractiing the info from there boss.
Sheet and Ember may be two extremely wicked dudes who seriously love to hurt and maim people to get what they want but they forget one thing!
Chris hides by his motorcycle and as soon as Sheet steps forward, Chris slaps a laughing gas mask onto his enemy and then cranks a nozzle on his bike!
“A little laughter goes along way…”
Sheet slowly passes out, leaving Ember all alone.
Ember: You’ll never know that our boss is in this building! Wait oops! Uhhh now I gotta kill you! Hold still!
Ember comes into choke Chris but the savvy secret agent uses Embers momentum and throws Ember off the side of the building, Ember falls to the ground with a splat.
Chris gives a smouldering hunky glance.
Chris: Root canal? More like Roof Canal!
~
STEVE AWESOME
FACE OF THE FRANCHISE
“Damn bro, one liners galore! I’m gonna sweep the Oscar’s with this one. And just saying, when I undoubtedly meet up with Armand and The Shiek at Hegemony. I know I’m going to have a lot to say about Armand’s wife and how their swing only goes one way.
EVK is hot to trot and looking for one last gallop before she gets put out to the pasture. She was all over me for years, But old Armand ain’t got the juice to make it happen. And just like Armand can’t get it done in the bedroom he can’t get it done when it counts for the crown either.
And The Shiek, well to be honest I don’t know the Shiek, but he certainly LOOKS like he’s from Hardkore World. Ya know, two crooked eyes, a strange odor, and a look on his face that says he will definitely eat his own poop.
And to be quite honest, I don’t know if I’m ready for that. But if I want my crown, my throne, I’m gonna slap Shiekey Baby so hard he’s gonna become relevant for two weeks!
Steve shakes his head.
“See I don’t care which one of you deranged thugs I have to go through at Xtraction! I don’t care if it’s the crazy fuck or the creepy cuck. When that bell rings at Hegemony you got three prominent forces to be wreckoned with and Copycat and we’re all ready to go through you all to get closer to Supremacy!
~
XTRACTION
the movie
~
There he was….perhaps the best of the best, Raymes Jaymond, sleeping alone with his mouth open.
Chris Pullem: This is going to be too easy.
Chris slowly repels down to the floor mission impossible style but with dental floss of course.
Chris gets right above the sleeping Raymes and prepares his next action. Chris had to be careful. Between all the double agents he’s fought today on this mission, Raymes is considered the best tactical fighter. One wrong move and Chris will have a very tough fight on his hands.
Chris uses his loud dentists drill to start the process when all of a sudden a bunch of lasers surround Chris! And the real Raymes Jaymond enters the room.
Raymes: You think I’d just let you waltz in and take everything, Pullem? All my plans, all I’ve worked for? You are more worthless than I thought.
Chris cuts the line and hits the floor, carefully avoiding the tactical lasers laid out by the evil Raymes. Chris saw a lot of himself in Raymes. They were both top of there class until that night Raymes did the unthinkable and became a Double Double Double Agent! That’s right, he turned on the government, then turned back, and the turned on the government again!
Some say they were a perfect match.
Chris flips through some of the lasers and nails a punch on Raymes. This entices the two men and they start fighting around the lasers!
Even still with everything to think about, these two world class fighters stayed neck and neck. No man gaining an upper hand.
Chris always knew it would come down to a fight between himself and Raymes one day. And just like he expected, every counter, every block was just tenderizing the bones. There was no stopping this guy.
They really were the perfect match. The perfect fight.
And sometimes when it comes down to being perfectly matched at one skill, sometimes you need to utilize your other special skill!
Raymes comes running at Chris, screaming and yelling and his mouth wide open. All of a sudden, Chris Pullem, with one quick motion reaches in and yanks the high tech molar out Rayme’s mouth!
Chris holds it in front of Raymes and Jaymond looks at it like his still beating heart.
Raymes: B-b-but how? I’m a better fighter then you!
Chris: But I’m a better Dentist!
Raymes drops to his knees in defeat.
Raymes: Noooooooo!
Then Raymes explodes!
~
STEVE AWESOME
FACE OF THE FRANCHISE
“Damn, dude, bro, this movie even has explosions! This is only the first movie coming out! I got plenty more just like this! Just you wait, it’s all coming to a theatre near you.
But the real Xtraction match isn’t so cut and dry. There is still alot of things left in the air. The one thing that’s been kind of a drag when you are the Face of the Franchise and wrestle consistently on a global level is sometimes some really good up and comers can slip through the cracks before you get to work with them.
You wait for these potential names to reach your level, you wait for guys like James Raymond to finally get to the big time so you can finally see what he’s all about. A match that should have happened along time ago, Steve Awesome verse James Raymond now it happens with a tease as we are only two with a group of eight.
“I know you pride yourself on being a great wrestler. I’ve seen the tapes. I believe it. And out of all three of your chumpstain tag partners, I see you as the best one.”
Steve shrugs.
“And sure you could be the one to make that big upset pin and beat Dylan or me or Raiden, probably be less as shocking if you beat Copycat but you know what I mean…..
“But you were right when you said this is all about me now. It’s not because I forced myself in or made it happen, it’s just how things are. I’m the Face of the Franchise for a reason bro.”
“And at Hegemony we’re going to get real familiar with each other in that tag match. No more side eyes in the locker room. No more comments in the dirt sheets. I’m going to show you what I’m really all about. And you are going to be left with a hard lesson to learn. When I leave you laying and eliminated and you realize I am the Goku to your Vegata, James.”
Steve nods his head and smirks.
“And that goes for everyone in the Xtraction match! Between the four of my opponents they all just wish they were XCrown Champions. They are driven by the wonder, the curiosity. They should want that belt!
But on Team Steve, you got two men in Dylan and myself who know what it’s like to be champion many times over. It’s not just guess work and hoping you have what it takes! It’s know exactly what to do and being that much better then your opponents. Raiden Ishimori hasn’t one the Crown before but my man is a true warrior and knows what he has to do inside that match and Copycat….well he’s gonna be there and doing stuff and you never know how that’s gonna go…soooo….”
He holds up a glass of water because he is a recovering alcoholic.
“Here’s to Xtraction. The match. Here’s to Xtraction the Movie. And here’s to me getting one step closer to becoming XCrown Champion for a third time and getting my life back on track…”
“Oh and Zoran….don’t think I forgot about you! I know you are gonna be the ref! If you try to screw me in that match, I swear to God I will hack into the system and ruin your AARP subscription you wrinkly bastard boy! But I promise you Z, you can’t run forever, eventually I’ll get to my title. Either at Supremacy or sometime after.
He crotch chops.
“I can’t wait to look you in the eye as you personally count my second pinfall victory in a row at Hegemony.”
Fade on the smirk.
But a miracle happened inside that chaotic structure of twisted steel. The Bang Bros learned to love again.
They overcame their differences, learned that petty squabbles meant nothing compared to the well being of each other.
Then they saved the world.
Seriously, you should go watch Oh Violent Night 3.
But now that the cage has been disassembled, the blood soaked up, and all the Dylan arms sweeped away everything seemed back to normal.
But even as things go back to normal, big changes still arise in the new year. Curtis has an XCrown shot. Spike is considering writing a novel. El Combatiente had a big trip he had to take. And oh yeah, Steve Awesome had a brand new enemy to take care of.
Kanyon: So……”
Curtis said as the four Bang Bros all hung out at Steve’s house.
Kanyon: Let’s go ahead and address the elephant in the room.
Kanyon, Spike and EC glance at each other and nod.
Spike: When exactly are we allowed to say “I told you so”?
Steve slowly turns and looks at his friends. He still had remnants of the wound on his forehead and he sighs.
Awesome: You each get two.
Kanyon: Told you so.
Spike: Told you so.
EC: ¡Te lo dije!
Awesome: Hey! Hey! Don’t use it all up!
Kanyon: He’s right, they might come in handy later.
Steve runs his palm through his hair and grips as he hung his head.
Awesome: I can’t believe I was so stupid.
Spike pats Steve’s shoulder to comfort him.
Spike: Hey man don’t be so hard on yourself.
Kanyon:Yeah I mean, there is a lot of people who can believe you were that stupid.
Steve glances up but is unable to process the comment as the conversation continues.
Spike: So what’s the plan? How do we get Rat back for what he did?
Awesome: I wait for that son of a bitch to come back from his latest bender and accept my challenge!
Kanyon: He’s running out of time. What if he never comes back?
Awesome shook his head.
Awesome: Oh he’ll be back. You can call him many things, but a bitch isn’t one of them. He’s gonna come back to survey the damage and Pat himself on the back. And that’s when I whip his ass and take back the nCw Championship.
“Wait, what!?”
Just then Zelda comes storming into the room where the guys had been hanging out.
Zelda: What do you mean, “take back” the ncw title?
Awesome: Well I Uh…”
Spike: Oh lord, he didn’t tell her.
Kanyon: He’s gonna die!
EC covers the eye holes of the mask.
EC: ¡No puedo mirar!
Zelda: Tell me what!? Steve, you better tell me that Rat Bastard DOESNT have my family’s dynasty in his slimey clutches.
Zelda glares into Steve’s face like an angry lioness. The Face of the Franchise slumps down in his chair like her prey.
Awesome: Well I don’t want to lie to you, Z. So I’m just not going to say anything.
She grabs a knife without even looking!
Awesome: Ahh! I gave him the belt on an episode of REIGN last summer! Don’t stab me! I hate getting stabbed!
Zelda drops the knife once she hears the truth. She didn’t like it one bit, but she knew stabbing Steve wouldn’t fix it. So he was safe for now.
Zelda: Rat Bastard doesn’t deserve to bring his drunken piece of shit ass around ANYTHING that me or you or anything that MY family built. You better fix this, Steve!
Steve nods his head and clenched his fists.
Awesome: You are right. I messed up. But I’m going to fix it. As soon as that little alcoholic vermin pops his face out from his hole in the wall!
~
STEVE AWESOME
FACE OF THE FRANCHISE
“As two thousand twenty three rolls in and I celebrate two decades in this business, it’s nice to see that I still have goals to accomplish, matches to have….scores to settle with Rat Bastard.”
“But as much as I have to look forward too, I’m just as eager to get back to how things used to be. I’m talking the good old days back in the Fall when I was the XCrown Champion.”
He sighs and pounds his chest.
“Those we’re good times.”
Steve smirks.
“It was the only times REIGN had six match cards! Oh yeah, we were living large baby. When I’m XCrown champ, we are all living large. The Face of the Franchise brings enough spotlight for everyone to get a piece. And now at Battle for Hegemony, I get the chance to have it all back. I get the chance to win my title again for a third time by walking into this four on four tag team match. Known as Xtraction. My teammates, Copycat, Raiden Ishimori and Dylan Black, going up against Poena, James Raymond, Armand VON Krauss and The Shiek.
“There are eight men walking into that tag match and they all want the win for different reasons. Some of us want to taste that glory again and others want to finally hold it for the first time. And I’ve talked to most of my team mates that like me or who are too dumb to care, and so far me and Copycat have determined so pretty good team aspects and we’re hoping to be unblocked by the others so we can send Dylan and Raiden are thoughts.”
Steve Awesome shrugs his shoulders.
“And of course, what kind of multi media movie star world champion would I be, if I didn’t say I’m back to my movie making ways. That’s right folks, I got a whole slew of movies coming out of the woodwork for you guys to enjoy! Starting with one of my personal favorites. So as I stew in my anger and rage toward Rat and mentally prepare myself for a grueling tag team match at Hegemony…take a look at the next Steve Awesome film.
XTRACTION!
The movie!
Narrator: Chris Pullem was a dentist!
Fade in on a common dentist office in the city.
Narrator: Some say he was the best dentist in town!
~
Patients Actual Testimony: I can ride a bike again!
~
Cut to the waiting room of Chris Pullem. All the patients are waiting to be called back to see the doctor.
Narrator: But you see, Chris Pullem has a double life!
Cut to the office of Chris Pullem (played by Steve Awesome) an overly buff hunk of a man attempting to portray a common dentist.
Narrator: Chris Pullem was a secret government agent who is working for the government!
Just then a man in a hood stepped into his office. Chris doesn’t look up from the medical charts as the hooded man sits down on the operating chair.
Chris Pullem: Something tells me this isn’t going to be a regular check up.
Chris can see the hooded man fingering the scalpel on the table nearby. All of a sudden the hooded man leaps into action and before Chris could blink there were three small blades sticking through his clip board!
Chris tossed it away and looked into the wild eyes of his enemy.
Narrator: It was Hoena! The crazed double agent out to stop Chris and his mission! The man was a violent hurricane, capable of tearing your flesh on a whim!
Chris fought with Hoena the Rabied in his doctors office. Hoena picks up a scraping hook and Chris has the little mirror on a stick. The struggle in yhe
Narrator: Some say that Hoena likes the pain. The pain he causes or the pain caused to him.
Chris has Hoena in a headlock and is punching him.
Hoena: OoOoOhhh. Keep doing that.
Chris slams Hoena’s head off the big light.
Hoena: Ugh yeah! That’s the stuff!
Chris Pullem: You are making it really hard to kick your ass right now!
Narrator: Hoena is the best with mind games. He uses them constantly to get into the mind of his victims. Often with info that would be impossible to know!
Hoena is punching Chris in the head and he hissed with wild eyes!
Hoena: After I’m done with you, I will take it out on your family members. Your wife and daughter!
Chris gasped!
Chris: HOW DID YOU KNOW I HAD A FAMILY!
Hoena secretly closes Wikipedia on his phone and the laughs maniacally!
Hoena: Im in your head! Muah ha ha!
Chris: Ahhhh he’s so trippy!
Soon enough the dentist gets the best of the parody and steps out of his office beaten up but victorious. He tells his front desk ladies,
Chris: No more patients for today.
Suddenly the people in the waiting room got angry and slowly came after him.
Chris: Your all double agents attempting to stop my mission aren’t you?”
They all nod.
Chris: Bring it on….
~
STEVE AWESOME
FACE OF THE FRANCHISE
“Man, that’s pretty lit so far. Am I right? Action, suspense, drama. I think we got a hit on our hands. But just for the record, if I happened to talk to the real Poena, I’d tell him to leave the theatrics at home and just do what you do suckah. Because at the end of the day, a lot of people have done some horrible things to me, and I’m still around and they aren’t, ya understand?”
He shrugs.
“I’m too stupid to be scared.
He chuckles to himself.
“And when it’s all said and done you gotta step up to my level if you want to snap this finger.”
Steve holds up his middle finger.
“At Hegemony in that Xtraction match, mind games won’t matter because everyone knows what’s at stake! Everyone will have there heads in the game. I don’t care what creepy little thing you say about my family, Poena, I’ll just slap there names out of your mouth at Hegemony and take my team one step closer to Supremacy!
Steve sticks his arms out.
“Poena, if you think you are stepping between me and my XCrown Shot, then at Hegemony, I will beat the rabies out of you, boy!”
~
XTRACTION
The Movie
~
Chris Pullem stood on top of a roof that overlooked the city.
He had on a leather jacket over his doctors coat. Somehow he also got his motorcycle parked on the roof next to him.
Chris Pullem: So there I was. A marked man. Everyone knew I was the best. They knew only I could complete the mission. There was an evil association of double agents and I had to find its leader. It seems the leader has implanted secret government secrets in there tooth! And as the worlds greatest dentist, it’s up to me to XTRACT IT!
See, xtraction, dentist, it all comes together.
“Not so fast.”
“Times up, Pullem!”
Chris slowly turns around to find Ember Van Crust and The Sheet! Two more blood thirsty double agents ready to stop Chris and his plans to save the world.
The Sheet: It’s time to die!
Ember Van Crust: And after, I can watch you have sex with my wife because my genitals don’t work.
The sheet glances over.
The Sheet: Dude! I told you not to say that!
Just then Chris runs in and the fight is on. Now these dudes are the serious type. They don’t take crap. They are just as murderous as Hoena but they lose brownie points for just being petty thugs. But they are definitely strong.
We see Sheet and Ember almost knocking Chris over the edge of the building. But Chris makes a comeback.
But these two can be handled. Nothing would stop our hero from completing the mission and Xtractiing the info from there boss.
Sheet and Ember may be two extremely wicked dudes who seriously love to hurt and maim people to get what they want but they forget one thing!
Chris hides by his motorcycle and as soon as Sheet steps forward, Chris slaps a laughing gas mask onto his enemy and then cranks a nozzle on his bike!
“A little laughter goes along way…”
Sheet slowly passes out, leaving Ember all alone.
Ember: You’ll never know that our boss is in this building! Wait oops! Uhhh now I gotta kill you! Hold still!
Ember comes into choke Chris but the savvy secret agent uses Embers momentum and throws Ember off the side of the building, Ember falls to the ground with a splat.
Chris gives a smouldering hunky glance.
Chris: Root canal? More like Roof Canal!
~
STEVE AWESOME
FACE OF THE FRANCHISE
“Damn bro, one liners galore! I’m gonna sweep the Oscar’s with this one. And just saying, when I undoubtedly meet up with Armand and The Shiek at Hegemony. I know I’m going to have a lot to say about Armand’s wife and how their swing only goes one way.
EVK is hot to trot and looking for one last gallop before she gets put out to the pasture. She was all over me for years, But old Armand ain’t got the juice to make it happen. And just like Armand can’t get it done in the bedroom he can’t get it done when it counts for the crown either.
And The Shiek, well to be honest I don’t know the Shiek, but he certainly LOOKS like he’s from Hardkore World. Ya know, two crooked eyes, a strange odor, and a look on his face that says he will definitely eat his own poop.
And to be quite honest, I don’t know if I’m ready for that. But if I want my crown, my throne, I’m gonna slap Shiekey Baby so hard he’s gonna become relevant for two weeks!
Steve shakes his head.
“See I don’t care which one of you deranged thugs I have to go through at Xtraction! I don’t care if it’s the crazy fuck or the creepy cuck. When that bell rings at Hegemony you got three prominent forces to be wreckoned with and Copycat and we’re all ready to go through you all to get closer to Supremacy!
~
XTRACTION
the movie
~
There he was….perhaps the best of the best, Raymes Jaymond, sleeping alone with his mouth open.
Chris Pullem: This is going to be too easy.
Chris slowly repels down to the floor mission impossible style but with dental floss of course.
Chris gets right above the sleeping Raymes and prepares his next action. Chris had to be careful. Between all the double agents he’s fought today on this mission, Raymes is considered the best tactical fighter. One wrong move and Chris will have a very tough fight on his hands.
Chris uses his loud dentists drill to start the process when all of a sudden a bunch of lasers surround Chris! And the real Raymes Jaymond enters the room.
Raymes: You think I’d just let you waltz in and take everything, Pullem? All my plans, all I’ve worked for? You are more worthless than I thought.
Chris cuts the line and hits the floor, carefully avoiding the tactical lasers laid out by the evil Raymes. Chris saw a lot of himself in Raymes. They were both top of there class until that night Raymes did the unthinkable and became a Double Double Double Agent! That’s right, he turned on the government, then turned back, and the turned on the government again!
Some say they were a perfect match.
Chris flips through some of the lasers and nails a punch on Raymes. This entices the two men and they start fighting around the lasers!
Even still with everything to think about, these two world class fighters stayed neck and neck. No man gaining an upper hand.
Chris always knew it would come down to a fight between himself and Raymes one day. And just like he expected, every counter, every block was just tenderizing the bones. There was no stopping this guy.
They really were the perfect match. The perfect fight.
And sometimes when it comes down to being perfectly matched at one skill, sometimes you need to utilize your other special skill!
Raymes comes running at Chris, screaming and yelling and his mouth wide open. All of a sudden, Chris Pullem, with one quick motion reaches in and yanks the high tech molar out Rayme’s mouth!
Chris holds it in front of Raymes and Jaymond looks at it like his still beating heart.
Raymes: B-b-but how? I’m a better fighter then you!
Chris: But I’m a better Dentist!
Raymes drops to his knees in defeat.
Raymes: Noooooooo!
Then Raymes explodes!
~
STEVE AWESOME
FACE OF THE FRANCHISE
“Damn, dude, bro, this movie even has explosions! This is only the first movie coming out! I got plenty more just like this! Just you wait, it’s all coming to a theatre near you.
But the real Xtraction match isn’t so cut and dry. There is still alot of things left in the air. The one thing that’s been kind of a drag when you are the Face of the Franchise and wrestle consistently on a global level is sometimes some really good up and comers can slip through the cracks before you get to work with them.
You wait for these potential names to reach your level, you wait for guys like James Raymond to finally get to the big time so you can finally see what he’s all about. A match that should have happened along time ago, Steve Awesome verse James Raymond now it happens with a tease as we are only two with a group of eight.
“I know you pride yourself on being a great wrestler. I’ve seen the tapes. I believe it. And out of all three of your chumpstain tag partners, I see you as the best one.”
Steve shrugs.
“And sure you could be the one to make that big upset pin and beat Dylan or me or Raiden, probably be less as shocking if you beat Copycat but you know what I mean…..
“But you were right when you said this is all about me now. It’s not because I forced myself in or made it happen, it’s just how things are. I’m the Face of the Franchise for a reason bro.”
“And at Hegemony we’re going to get real familiar with each other in that tag match. No more side eyes in the locker room. No more comments in the dirt sheets. I’m going to show you what I’m really all about. And you are going to be left with a hard lesson to learn. When I leave you laying and eliminated and you realize I am the Goku to your Vegata, James.”
Steve nods his head and smirks.
“And that goes for everyone in the Xtraction match! Between the four of my opponents they all just wish they were XCrown Champions. They are driven by the wonder, the curiosity. They should want that belt!
But on Team Steve, you got two men in Dylan and myself who know what it’s like to be champion many times over. It’s not just guess work and hoping you have what it takes! It’s know exactly what to do and being that much better then your opponents. Raiden Ishimori hasn’t one the Crown before but my man is a true warrior and knows what he has to do inside that match and Copycat….well he’s gonna be there and doing stuff and you never know how that’s gonna go…soooo….”
He holds up a glass of water because he is a recovering alcoholic.
“Here’s to Xtraction. The match. Here’s to Xtraction the Movie. And here’s to me getting one step closer to becoming XCrown Champion for a third time and getting my life back on track…”
“Oh and Zoran….don’t think I forgot about you! I know you are gonna be the ref! If you try to screw me in that match, I swear to God I will hack into the system and ruin your AARP subscription you wrinkly bastard boy! But I promise you Z, you can’t run forever, eventually I’ll get to my title. Either at Supremacy or sometime after.
He crotch chops.
“I can’t wait to look you in the eye as you personally count my second pinfall victory in a row at Hegemony.”
Fade on the smirk.
