It's Our Job To Do What's Right (Copycat/Supremacy) [#4]
Jan 26, 2023 23:59:49 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Dave D-Flipz, and 1 more like this
Post by ForeverKuroi on Jan 26, 2023 23:59:49 GMT -5
The scene fades in to find Copycat in front of his circular dinner table. He has cards in front of him and studies them.
Copycat: Hmmm… Nope! Nothing! I fold. Guess you win, heh heh!
The camera slowly rotates to the person sitting across from him. The old, disheveled and grumpy middle-aged ring crew personnel. He has cards in front of him, still scattered, face down, and… untouched. He’s too busy with a promiscuously-dressed woman on his lap. The two are sharing saliva in a way that pushes many boundaries.
Copycat: How about we play another round? Would your wife like to play as well?
Woman: Wife? I just met hi-
Tommy loudly clears his throat in a way to indicate his throat actually didn’t need to be cleared at all.
Tommy: Actually, I think we were going to go to bed.
Copycat: Bed? But it’s 6:00 PM! You two are tired already?
Tommy sarcastically feigns a chuckle.
Tommy: What can I say? I have to be up early for work.
Copycat: But these shows all start at night.
Tommy: Yeah, well-
Copycat: You don’t even have to be at work until 2. And you wake up at noon anyways.
Tommy: Well tomorrow is differ-
Copycat: And I’ve been meaning to ask, with Supremacy coming up, maybe we can drive in together. We’re all saving money on gas and time, and we’re all going to the same place.
Tommy: Yeah, we’ll see.
Copycat: Oh and we can sing songs together!
Tommy: …Songs?
Copycat: Like Dylan’s theme song! 🎵You say I need psychotherraaaappyyyyy🎵-
Tommy interrupts Copycat.
Tommy: Everyone thinks you do, but no one thinks it in the, “Oh, you’re psychologically unstable but you’re a big beast like Hyperion”. They think you need therapy because you have complete abandonment issues. The only way you could scare them is if you went postal like some school shooter, and the only reason they’re paying attention to you now is that you have enough money to go and buy a gun. If we’re talking completely in terms of wrestling, no one thinks you can win. Other than your baby daddy, Terry Bradshaw.
Copycat: He’s not my baby daddy! Although… You think if I told him that he was, I could get more free stuff?
Tommy: Look, everyone’s already assuming that Bradshaw is the daddy. But that’s not my point. My point is that you’re weak. There’s already memes on the internet making fun of you actually signing up for the match. I have one on my phone. Just a sec.
Tommy pulls out his phone and begins swiping through the picture. He then pulls one out and shows it to Copycat..
Tommy: See?
Copycat: Oh wow! I haven’t seen this side of Mistress Discipline before! Why do you have a picture of her in your phone?
Tommy: Oh, wrong picture. But you can see why she’s not called H2A.
Copycat: I think’s Photoshopped.
Tommy: Shut up!
Tommy messes with the photos again and swipes to the correct one. He shows this to Copycat.
Tommy: This is what they’re saying about you!
Copycat: Hah. They turned Raiden into a white guy. Speaking of which, Raiden's been quiet as of late. I hope he's OK. Anyways, this picture is a new take on me, though. Usually they’ll tell me that suicide is the only way out. Saying it’s bad ass is kind of new. I guess I won’t be the badass type because life is pretty darn sweet once you get past the crappy parts of it.
Tommy: Uh-huh. Anyways, I’m going to take this little thing up to the other room and I can get her to choke on my sausage.
Copycat: Oh, we don’t have any sausage. I’ve read somewhere that the whole pork deal is bad for the baby so I’m gonna have to say no, bud. We do have grilled chicken, though.
Tommy: …Sure. Whatever you sa-
Copycat: But I’m not just not cool. Apparently, according to Steve Awesome, I’m not funny. Although, to be fairrrr, I’ve only made like one joke in the last week and it was about pretending to be playing my voicemail when I didn’t! Kind of mean, I suppose. Like, I understand it wasn’t all that funny, but I’m not sure why he’s so bothered by it! Maybe I could try to make jokes like him. That might make me cooler!
And just like that, Copycat pulls out a guitar.
Copycat: I entitle this song, “Be nice to Copycat.”
Copycat strums the guitar. This chord isn’t the friendliest on the ears.
Copycat: 🎵I may smell like stale farts, but I’m nearly cured of my athlete’s body, so that should go away soon!🎵
He strums the guitar again. It’s not the same chord, but it sounds equally terrible.
Copycat: 🎵And like yeah, I may not be the crowd favorite to win but at least Dylan said I was the most dangerous person to win and he like totally beat you at the XHF Rumble two years ago!🎵
With a smile, he strums again. Except, he grabs all the strings with as much of his fingers as he could. This kind of just mutes the sound.
Copycat: 🎵Oh and his best buddy Spike eliminated you in that match too!🎵
Copycat strums again. There’s no need to further describe just how bad these chords are. They’re consistently bad.
Copycat: 🎵So maybe have a little bit of humility, maybe, Steve! We all lose sometimes but when I lose, it’s expected. When you lose, your feelings are hurt. Friends shouldn’t hurt the feelings of other friends! If it’s true that we are friends, you wouldn’t be saying these cruel things towards me!🎵
Copycat starts to have tears welling up in his eyes. He strums again and it’s terr- oh wow, it’s actually pretty good this time.
Copycat: WHY, STEVE!? WHY ARE YOU BETRAYING MY TRUST!? I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS! I LOVED YOU LIKE A TRUE BUDDY! I WANTED TO TAKE YOUR LAST NAME SO MY KID COULD BE AWESOME TOO. THAT WAY, THEY WOULDN’T GO THROUGH ALL THE TERRIBLE THINGS I DID!
Copycat starts to break down and bawl over this guitar that he is. He’s not even trying to put a tune in his voice anymore. Tommy and his lady of the night friend are timidly staring at each other.
Woman: Hey, uhhh… Tommy. Things are getting late. I think maybe I should start to get goi-
Tommy: Nah, babe. Don’t go. I, just… I’ll handle him.
Tommy gets up and, while being as far from him as possible, taps on his shoulder.
Tommy: Hey, uhhh… buddy?
Copycat instinctively grabs Tommy and embraces him in a full-out hug. Tommy stands completely still like a tree. Every part of his body is stiff except for the part he intended to get stiff by bringing that woman over.
Copycat: HE SAID HE WOULD THROW ME A BIRTHDAY PARTY AND INVITE NO ONE AND THEN BLOW OUT MY CANDLES!
Tommy searches around the room with his eyes, but finds nothing to save him.
Tommy: Yeah…Well how would you feel if you never ate cake?
Copycat: I’D BE SO SAD.
Copycat got to the part in the crying stage where he’s hyperventilating. His nose also starts to get runny. It goes all over Tommy’s shirt.
Tommy: Well Steve’s in really good shape. He probably doesn’t get to eat a lot of cake, right?
Copycat begins to take slower breaths. His face is still pretty red.
Copycat: …NO?
Tommy: And plus, Steve Awesome probably couldn’t even throw himself a birthday party. Like, you see the way that he just treats everyone like crap? Also, didn’t like Steve Awesome lose the X*Crown Championship immediately to Zoran? Didn’t you hold the AWF eXtreme Championship for longer than that?!
Copycat: Yeah… Yeah! I did!
Copycat starts to smile. By the way, he didn’t.
Tommy: And that Eggciting Eggplant Championship belt you have. You still have that, right? That’s like over a five year reign! You must be like the… longest reigning champion ever in the XHF Network!
Copycat: Oh wow! I must be a big deal! Thanks, Tommy from Ring Crew!
Tommy: …Ugh. OK, so how about you go hang out by yourself and I’ll go to bed and you enjoy the cake in the fridge.
Copycat: But what about my doctor’s appointment tomorrow? I need someone to come with me.
Tommy swallows and grits his teeth. He starts to grow a shade green with what he’s about to say.
Tommy: I’ll… drive you, how about that?
Copycat: But you, you don’t have a driver’s license.
Tommy: I do. It’s just suspended. I could… use yours.
Copycat cocks an eyebrow and looks at Tommy with suspicion.
Copycat: I can’t believe you… ARE SUCH AN AMAZING FRIEND! THANKS, TOMMY FROM RING CREW!
Tommy: …
Copycat runs off to the kitchen. Steve Awesome is looking at himself with disgust. His lady friend approaches him.
Woman: You’re taking a shower before I touch you.
Tommy: If I could just die, that’d be great.
The camera cuts to Copycat in the kitchen. He pulls out a circular nine-inch vanilla cake from the fridge and preps himself on the kitchen table.
Copycat: I’m going to try to ignore about all those mean things that Steve said. Tommy from Ring Crew is right. After all, if I really don’t have a chance to win the X*Crown Championship, why would he reach out to me and agree that he could hold my belt for me? Now I may not be a mathemagician but two and two aren’t going together. I think he’s trying to put on a show and play mental games with me! If that’s true, that just PROVES that he proves me as a legitimate contender! After all, people used to ignore me. If Steve wasn’t concerned, he’d just not talk about me at all! Before, people would use me as the measuring stick of sucking. They would say things like, “Dylan, you’re like the Copycat of this match!” or “Zoran, I’m going to make you look like Copycat when I’m done with you!” I even heard Mr. Bradshaw say to a lady once when they were behind the bushes. He said, “Oh yeah. I want you to Copycat your way all the way down to my balls.” I’m not too sure what he meant by that, but when they came back, none of them had any footballs or basketballs or anything. Big mystery, huh?
Copycat shrugs as he cuts himself a slice.
Copycat: But the tides are changing. Dylan’s starting to respect me. I’m talking about the one and only Dylan Black, two time X*Crown Champion himself Dylan! Like sure, he could just be saying that because he’s not the biggest fan of Steve Awesome, but I like to think that I separate myself from the others out there. I’m a nice guy! I don’t go in hating anyone because life is hard enough as it is and if you pay attention to the XHF Network, it seems like wrestlers die at least twice a year!
Copycat stops when transferring the slice to his plate as he thinks about what he just said.
Copycat: It’s hard to think about how the XHF Network can keep airing despite the constant threat of injury, permanent disability, and death, but that’s where the amazing work of the Network’s legal team comes into place. A lot of great talent just like my main man, Larry! Which reminds me, before my buddy Tommy from Ring Crew offered, I tried calling Larry to see if he’d been willing to drive me to my appointment. He usually answers saying, “Stop calling me, Copycat”, but this time, it was a woman saying, “The number you’re calling is no longer in service!” Oh, Larry. Your pranks are just adorable. No worries. I know how to play this game. I mean, how many phone numbers are there really out there?
Copycat gazes longingly for a moment before the smell of the cake captures his attention again.
Copycat: Now where was I? Oh yeah. So not only did I get complimented by Dylan Black but also the big guy that everyone has their eyes on, but Zoran Sainovic, himself! He even suggested that I could get lucky. LUCKY! COPYCAT - THE MOST UNLUCKY PERSON IN THE WORLD! Isn’t that crazy!?
Copycat realizes he’s talking to no one and takes a bite out of the cake. He scarfs up the mouthful before continuing.
Copycat: You know, Zoran, I don’t know why you get so much hate. I happen to think you’re a fine fellow! Perhaps after we wrestle, we can hang out! I’ll have to go find a babysitter, but we could really be good pals! You’re right. The future of wrestling is changing and the standard athlete isn’t the same. The more and more I think about it, the more I realize that we aren’t all too different. We are both older men who aren’t too liked by many for silly reasons. Neither of us are all too good looking and we both have burning desires inside of us. While mine could also be a UTI, I also like to think it has to do with the desire to win. That’s what we both have and I think that on Sunday, we’ll see which fire burns brighter… and if I have to see a urologist, I suppose too.
Copycat begins to wrap up the portions of uneaten cake. Before he puts it into the fridge, he turns back to the camera.
Copycat: You know, I do have every intention to take that championship belt from around your waist, but I will gladly shake your hand because as champions, it’s our job to do what’s right.
The camera switches to the inside of the fridge. Copycat’s second chin is in full view as he bends over. He slides the cake and closes the door. As the fridge light turns off, so too does the scene. Black.[/b]
Copycat: Hmmm… Nope! Nothing! I fold. Guess you win, heh heh!
The camera slowly rotates to the person sitting across from him. The old, disheveled and grumpy middle-aged ring crew personnel. He has cards in front of him, still scattered, face down, and… untouched. He’s too busy with a promiscuously-dressed woman on his lap. The two are sharing saliva in a way that pushes many boundaries.
Copycat: How about we play another round? Would your wife like to play as well?
Woman: Wife? I just met hi-
Tommy loudly clears his throat in a way to indicate his throat actually didn’t need to be cleared at all.
Tommy: Actually, I think we were going to go to bed.
Copycat: Bed? But it’s 6:00 PM! You two are tired already?
Tommy sarcastically feigns a chuckle.
Tommy: What can I say? I have to be up early for work.
Copycat: But these shows all start at night.
Tommy: Yeah, well-
Copycat: You don’t even have to be at work until 2. And you wake up at noon anyways.
Tommy: Well tomorrow is differ-
Copycat: And I’ve been meaning to ask, with Supremacy coming up, maybe we can drive in together. We’re all saving money on gas and time, and we’re all going to the same place.
Tommy: Yeah, we’ll see.
Copycat: Oh and we can sing songs together!
Tommy: …Songs?
Copycat: Like Dylan’s theme song! 🎵You say I need psychotherraaaappyyyyy🎵-
Tommy interrupts Copycat.
Tommy: Everyone thinks you do, but no one thinks it in the, “Oh, you’re psychologically unstable but you’re a big beast like Hyperion”. They think you need therapy because you have complete abandonment issues. The only way you could scare them is if you went postal like some school shooter, and the only reason they’re paying attention to you now is that you have enough money to go and buy a gun. If we’re talking completely in terms of wrestling, no one thinks you can win. Other than your baby daddy, Terry Bradshaw.
Copycat: He’s not my baby daddy! Although… You think if I told him that he was, I could get more free stuff?
Tommy: Look, everyone’s already assuming that Bradshaw is the daddy. But that’s not my point. My point is that you’re weak. There’s already memes on the internet making fun of you actually signing up for the match. I have one on my phone. Just a sec.
Tommy pulls out his phone and begins swiping through the picture. He then pulls one out and shows it to Copycat..
Tommy: See?
Copycat: Oh wow! I haven’t seen this side of Mistress Discipline before! Why do you have a picture of her in your phone?
Tommy: Oh, wrong picture. But you can see why she’s not called H2A.
Copycat: I think’s Photoshopped.
Tommy: Shut up!
Tommy messes with the photos again and swipes to the correct one. He shows this to Copycat.
Tommy: This is what they’re saying about you!
Copycat: Hah. They turned Raiden into a white guy. Speaking of which, Raiden's been quiet as of late. I hope he's OK. Anyways, this picture is a new take on me, though. Usually they’ll tell me that suicide is the only way out. Saying it’s bad ass is kind of new. I guess I won’t be the badass type because life is pretty darn sweet once you get past the crappy parts of it.
Tommy: Uh-huh. Anyways, I’m going to take this little thing up to the other room and I can get her to choke on my sausage.
Copycat: Oh, we don’t have any sausage. I’ve read somewhere that the whole pork deal is bad for the baby so I’m gonna have to say no, bud. We do have grilled chicken, though.
Tommy: …Sure. Whatever you sa-
Copycat: But I’m not just not cool. Apparently, according to Steve Awesome, I’m not funny. Although, to be fairrrr, I’ve only made like one joke in the last week and it was about pretending to be playing my voicemail when I didn’t! Kind of mean, I suppose. Like, I understand it wasn’t all that funny, but I’m not sure why he’s so bothered by it! Maybe I could try to make jokes like him. That might make me cooler!
And just like that, Copycat pulls out a guitar.
Copycat: I entitle this song, “Be nice to Copycat.”
Copycat strums the guitar. This chord isn’t the friendliest on the ears.
Copycat: 🎵I may smell like stale farts, but I’m nearly cured of my athlete’s body, so that should go away soon!🎵
He strums the guitar again. It’s not the same chord, but it sounds equally terrible.
Copycat: 🎵And like yeah, I may not be the crowd favorite to win but at least Dylan said I was the most dangerous person to win and he like totally beat you at the XHF Rumble two years ago!🎵
With a smile, he strums again. Except, he grabs all the strings with as much of his fingers as he could. This kind of just mutes the sound.
Copycat: 🎵Oh and his best buddy Spike eliminated you in that match too!🎵
Copycat strums again. There’s no need to further describe just how bad these chords are. They’re consistently bad.
Copycat: 🎵So maybe have a little bit of humility, maybe, Steve! We all lose sometimes but when I lose, it’s expected. When you lose, your feelings are hurt. Friends shouldn’t hurt the feelings of other friends! If it’s true that we are friends, you wouldn’t be saying these cruel things towards me!🎵
Copycat starts to have tears welling up in his eyes. He strums again and it’s terr- oh wow, it’s actually pretty good this time.
Copycat: WHY, STEVE!? WHY ARE YOU BETRAYING MY TRUST!? I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS! I LOVED YOU LIKE A TRUE BUDDY! I WANTED TO TAKE YOUR LAST NAME SO MY KID COULD BE AWESOME TOO. THAT WAY, THEY WOULDN’T GO THROUGH ALL THE TERRIBLE THINGS I DID!
Copycat starts to break down and bawl over this guitar that he is. He’s not even trying to put a tune in his voice anymore. Tommy and his lady of the night friend are timidly staring at each other.
Woman: Hey, uhhh… Tommy. Things are getting late. I think maybe I should start to get goi-
Tommy: Nah, babe. Don’t go. I, just… I’ll handle him.
Tommy gets up and, while being as far from him as possible, taps on his shoulder.
Tommy: Hey, uhhh… buddy?
Copycat instinctively grabs Tommy and embraces him in a full-out hug. Tommy stands completely still like a tree. Every part of his body is stiff except for the part he intended to get stiff by bringing that woman over.
Copycat: HE SAID HE WOULD THROW ME A BIRTHDAY PARTY AND INVITE NO ONE AND THEN BLOW OUT MY CANDLES!
Tommy searches around the room with his eyes, but finds nothing to save him.
Tommy: Yeah…Well how would you feel if you never ate cake?
Copycat: I’D BE SO SAD.
Copycat got to the part in the crying stage where he’s hyperventilating. His nose also starts to get runny. It goes all over Tommy’s shirt.
Tommy: Well Steve’s in really good shape. He probably doesn’t get to eat a lot of cake, right?
Copycat begins to take slower breaths. His face is still pretty red.
Copycat: …NO?
Tommy: And plus, Steve Awesome probably couldn’t even throw himself a birthday party. Like, you see the way that he just treats everyone like crap? Also, didn’t like Steve Awesome lose the X*Crown Championship immediately to Zoran? Didn’t you hold the AWF eXtreme Championship for longer than that?!
Copycat: Yeah… Yeah! I did!
Copycat starts to smile. By the way, he didn’t.
Tommy: And that Eggciting Eggplant Championship belt you have. You still have that, right? That’s like over a five year reign! You must be like the… longest reigning champion ever in the XHF Network!
Copycat: Oh wow! I must be a big deal! Thanks, Tommy from Ring Crew!
Tommy: …Ugh. OK, so how about you go hang out by yourself and I’ll go to bed and you enjoy the cake in the fridge.
Copycat: But what about my doctor’s appointment tomorrow? I need someone to come with me.
Tommy swallows and grits his teeth. He starts to grow a shade green with what he’s about to say.
Tommy: I’ll… drive you, how about that?
Copycat: But you, you don’t have a driver’s license.
Tommy: I do. It’s just suspended. I could… use yours.
Copycat cocks an eyebrow and looks at Tommy with suspicion.
Copycat: I can’t believe you… ARE SUCH AN AMAZING FRIEND! THANKS, TOMMY FROM RING CREW!
Tommy: …
Copycat runs off to the kitchen. Steve Awesome is looking at himself with disgust. His lady friend approaches him.
Woman: You’re taking a shower before I touch you.
Tommy: If I could just die, that’d be great.
The camera cuts to Copycat in the kitchen. He pulls out a circular nine-inch vanilla cake from the fridge and preps himself on the kitchen table.
Copycat: I’m going to try to ignore about all those mean things that Steve said. Tommy from Ring Crew is right. After all, if I really don’t have a chance to win the X*Crown Championship, why would he reach out to me and agree that he could hold my belt for me? Now I may not be a mathemagician but two and two aren’t going together. I think he’s trying to put on a show and play mental games with me! If that’s true, that just PROVES that he proves me as a legitimate contender! After all, people used to ignore me. If Steve wasn’t concerned, he’d just not talk about me at all! Before, people would use me as the measuring stick of sucking. They would say things like, “Dylan, you’re like the Copycat of this match!” or “Zoran, I’m going to make you look like Copycat when I’m done with you!” I even heard Mr. Bradshaw say to a lady once when they were behind the bushes. He said, “Oh yeah. I want you to Copycat your way all the way down to my balls.” I’m not too sure what he meant by that, but when they came back, none of them had any footballs or basketballs or anything. Big mystery, huh?
Copycat shrugs as he cuts himself a slice.
Copycat: But the tides are changing. Dylan’s starting to respect me. I’m talking about the one and only Dylan Black, two time X*Crown Champion himself Dylan! Like sure, he could just be saying that because he’s not the biggest fan of Steve Awesome, but I like to think that I separate myself from the others out there. I’m a nice guy! I don’t go in hating anyone because life is hard enough as it is and if you pay attention to the XHF Network, it seems like wrestlers die at least twice a year!
Copycat stops when transferring the slice to his plate as he thinks about what he just said.
Copycat: It’s hard to think about how the XHF Network can keep airing despite the constant threat of injury, permanent disability, and death, but that’s where the amazing work of the Network’s legal team comes into place. A lot of great talent just like my main man, Larry! Which reminds me, before my buddy Tommy from Ring Crew offered, I tried calling Larry to see if he’d been willing to drive me to my appointment. He usually answers saying, “Stop calling me, Copycat”, but this time, it was a woman saying, “The number you’re calling is no longer in service!” Oh, Larry. Your pranks are just adorable. No worries. I know how to play this game. I mean, how many phone numbers are there really out there?
Copycat gazes longingly for a moment before the smell of the cake captures his attention again.
Copycat: Now where was I? Oh yeah. So not only did I get complimented by Dylan Black but also the big guy that everyone has their eyes on, but Zoran Sainovic, himself! He even suggested that I could get lucky. LUCKY! COPYCAT - THE MOST UNLUCKY PERSON IN THE WORLD! Isn’t that crazy!?
Copycat realizes he’s talking to no one and takes a bite out of the cake. He scarfs up the mouthful before continuing.
Copycat: You know, Zoran, I don’t know why you get so much hate. I happen to think you’re a fine fellow! Perhaps after we wrestle, we can hang out! I’ll have to go find a babysitter, but we could really be good pals! You’re right. The future of wrestling is changing and the standard athlete isn’t the same. The more and more I think about it, the more I realize that we aren’t all too different. We are both older men who aren’t too liked by many for silly reasons. Neither of us are all too good looking and we both have burning desires inside of us. While mine could also be a UTI, I also like to think it has to do with the desire to win. That’s what we both have and I think that on Sunday, we’ll see which fire burns brighter… and if I have to see a urologist, I suppose too.
Copycat begins to wrap up the portions of uneaten cake. Before he puts it into the fridge, he turns back to the camera.
Copycat: You know, I do have every intention to take that championship belt from around your waist, but I will gladly shake your hand because as champions, it’s our job to do what’s right.
The camera switches to the inside of the fridge. Copycat’s second chin is in full view as he bends over. He slides the cake and closes the door. As the fridge light turns off, so too does the scene. Black.[/b]
