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Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Mar 11, 2023 19:25:32 GMT -5
Hello and welcome to the XHF Network's automated Rumble enrollment system!
If you would like to enroll in the Rumble as a competitor, please click on the "Enroll" button. After that you will need to complete a captcha in order to prove that you are not some sort of AI system or bot (Industrial Woman, please ask one of your MOTHER! teammates to help you with this part). After solving the captcha you will be able to upload a video entry into the system and be acknowledged as an official entrant to the 2023 XHF Network Rumble.
Good luck!
You'll need it.
OOC: Wooo! It's Rumble time! If you want to join the Rumble please post a short promo announcing your intent to join the Rumble match. You know, like how they do it in WWE with the guy doing a quickie on his phone "Hey fans, I'm joining the Rumble" etc. You have until March 26 to sign up SO DON'T DELAY DO IT TODAY! For more info about the XHF Network Rumble: CLICK HERE! |
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Post by Venom 🕷 on Mar 12, 2023 2:02:47 GMT -5
OMG ITS RUMBLE TIME
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Kira Izumi
J-ROK Staff
XHF's Resident Weeb
Posts: 5,968 
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Post by Kira Izumi on Mar 12, 2023 2:41:00 GMT -5
We see Wildcat Capone in frame from a phone camera.
"The Stone Cold Killa is making it official. I'm bringing the crown to Tap Out!"
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flo
.::XHF Competitor::.
.::XHF Competitor::.
Bein' Like Like Water
Posts: 178
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Post by flo on Mar 12, 2023 2:44:23 GMT -5
Your Mother Lovin' Florida ManG takes time out of his busy schedule - which currently consists of stirring a bathtub of Tranq with a plastic oar from a child's canoe - to bring you this important message.
Florida Man:
X. H. C. ...C? Coalition? XHC! It's ME, your friendly neighbourhood Floridan with an important message. I don't cut my fentanyl with baby laxatives 'cause where am I even going to get a baby? So if you need a fix, don't go to Mongo with his baby laxative cutting ways. My prices are so insane, you'd think I was sampling the product.... so come on down to Florida Man's Tranq'porium 'fore I use it all!
Gazoo enters wearing a bib.
Florida Man:
Yo... y'all may remember yo Boi Flori-Hotdiggity-DAmn from being the top of the drippy dang card at Supremacy. Oh right, that shit didn't happen cause Hayley Grimes is a cowardly bitch. I almost forgot. About the match, not ol' Grimsey's yellow streak which is twice as wide as the ass she calls a personality Point is, Jrok likes protecting her, my stable them sky Force moves, Kira too... ol' Glass Jaw just likes protecting everyone from my superior technique. Basic bitches. So I needs me an XHC event just to get a leg up..... which is to say, yo Boi is gonna be in that Rumble... for no other reason than to make dang sure no Jrok somovobitches win it! Karma in action like Jackson, yo.
Gazoo picks up a rattle for his hospital maternity ward heist, as we fade to black.
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bloodiedfox
Special GUNS Acess
Fox. King. Cryptid. Stoner. Ripper. Cult. Skeleton.
Posts: 939
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Post by bloodiedfox on Mar 12, 2023 5:57:03 GMT -5
A camera video shot from a high angle, the view shaking, a watermark for XHFDirt.com visible on the corner. It takes a moment to realise the unfortunate camera man is being held up, presumably by his throat, by the hulking masked figure known as SEIRIOS. Beside him, entirely unconcerned at events, is Bloodied Fox.
"Are you entering the Rumble?" What kind of stupid question is that? Of course I'm entering the Rumble. Last year I was within a hair's breadth of victory, and this time there's nothing holding me back. I am going to become X*Crown champion, and this entire network's worst nightmares will become its reality. Now get out of my sight.
Fox gestures to SEIRIOS, who slams the 'journalist' down, the feed cutting to static, then darkness.
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Post by Dave D-Flipz on Mar 12, 2023 10:27:50 GMT -5
*The camera opens in a hotel room in Japan. Staring out the window you can see the devastation nearby. JROK has clearly been here. Zooming out we see one half of the longest reigning XHF Global Tag Team Champions. DT is looking out the window and glances back to the camera*
"So here we are in Japan ... to defend our tag titles one more time against the Black Knife Cabal. Despite Kira's best efforts to tip the scales towards his team, a team which holds no love for that conniving town destroying bastard, we sit here in our hotel planning our path to victory and taking in the culture. We have a tour of the city set up for later. Hopefully they leave out the part where Kira let's Dylan and his friends ... allegedly ... burn down an entire city block and ruin a cultural and industrial center ..."
*Death Trap shakes his head and pats his belt*
"But having this title here for so long has shown me, I AM in fact capable of locking down my achievements long term. And that leads me to the biggest red mark on my career. I have held the X*Crown twice, and the World title once in XHF. None of those reigns are considered ... shall we say ... good? Long?"
"I CAN THINK OF OTHER THINGS YOU HAVE THAT ARE LONG! WOOOOO!"
*DT winces at his manager's snide remark.*
"And in ANY case..."
"YOU HAD NO PROBLEM LOCKING DOWN THE BEST CATCH OF ALL! MY MISTRESS!"
*DT flinches again and spins the ring on his finger*
"CHAOS I AM DOING A BIT TO CAMERA, PLEASE STOP!"
*DT collects and composes himself*
"As I was saying... I fully intend to finally check off one of the few things I have never done in this business. And in doing so, lock down that X*Crown for a good long run. I am entering the rumble match in 2023 for the first time since 2020. And I intend to finally win. Not second place. Not sixth place. Not eliminated by some loudmouth blowhard or a hardcore legend. Me standing tall, in the middle of the ring ... XHF Legend in the flesh, holding that title ... for the third time. The time is now. What a way to close out a legendary career. Everyone else? I'm sorry. But this has to be done. You all can try again next year."
*DT turns back to the window and we fade out*
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Post by Dave D-Flipz on Mar 12, 2023 10:32:49 GMT -5
*We get a choppy video clearly shot on an older model smartphone. We zoom in on Aiden Merric inside the casino entryway on his way to the parking lot.*
"Right, I'm preparing for the hunt of a lifetime thanks to little Davey from Way Mouth, Massachusetts. But I got time fer you lot. Just need to announce that everyone else is a contracted target. I am in the rumble, and I'm being paid to bring the Crown home to Tapout. Better get yer bets in now folks, ain't no bonus for picking me to win later when we all know it's a foregone conclusion."
*A siren sounds as we hear a police car drive by the entryway as Aiden exits.*
"Huh ... ain't that a bit of foreshadowing. Hopefully, not ... Surely, not."
*Fade out*
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The Dunne Deal
ACA Staff
The one you want to win, but won't admit it.
Posts: 1,159
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Post by The Dunne Deal on Mar 13, 2023 5:39:49 GMT -5
The rumble is around the corner and I've got one word for you.
PESPIMAN!!!!!
<iframe id="_pericles_content_iframe" style="position: absolute; top: -99px; left: 0px; width: 50px; height: 26px; background: transparent; overflow: visible; margin-top: -30px; transition: top 2s ease-in-out 0s; z-index: 2147483647; border: none; padding: 0px;"></iframe>
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The Dunne Deal
ACA Staff
The one you want to win, but won't admit it.
Posts: 1,159
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Post by The Dunne Deal on Mar 13, 2023 12:48:33 GMT -5
Cheez: Another years, and another round of memes for the Rumble
Dunne: Are you seriously gonna try that tactic again.
Cheez: What it's my signature thing at Rumble the fans expect it.
Dunne rolls his eyes.
Cheez: Hey you coming to.
Dunne: Might as well, just to protect your nerd ass.<iframe id="_pericles_content_iframe" style="position: absolute; top: -99px; left: 0px; width: 50px; height: 26px; background: transparent; overflow: visible; margin-top: -30px; transition: top 2s ease-in-out 0s; z-index: 2147483647; border: none; padding: 0px;"></iframe>
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Post by Donzig on Mar 15, 2023 20:44:35 GMT -5
Mocking applause came from the darkness, and then something rustled before Donzig stepped into view. He lifted his hooded head, and the grim visage of his mask stared from the shadows as Esmeralda Von Krauss stepped out behind him.
‘It is just adorable, how menacing everyone is trying to be at this time of year. Like it is their one season to be fucking relevant.’
Donzig snorted.
‘Rejoice! I have come to save this Rumble from being a meaningless collection of whatever this is. I have decided to bring boredom and overexposure to your wretched little Rumble.’
A tsk came from Esmeralda, and she leaned towards him.
‘Dahling, you promised Sinclair you would be diplomatic.’
‘I left her at home for a reason, Esmeralda. I was lying.’
‘You could try, this has to be exhausting.’
Donzig grunted sourly, arms folding over his chest with a creak of leather. He tapped his fingers against his upper arm, then shrugged before a hand waved absently.
‘Fine. This is how we’ll do it:
Fuck REIGN! Fuck Dylan Black. Fuck Steve Awesome. Fuck Bang! Bros, as a kliq, wrestling crew, and a marketing gimmick! And if you want to be down with Bang! Bros? Fuck you too. The Anointed? Fuck you too! All you motherfuckers, fuck you too!
All you all motherfuckers, from GUNS to the Pillars fuck you too! Die slow, motherfuckers! Fuck you too! My Event Horizon make sure all your kids don’t grow! Fuck you too!’
Esmeralda stared, and Donzig snarled before he paced back and forth.
‘You motherfuckers can’t see us or be us! Out here in the UK? We warned you! We will drop bombs on you, motherfuckers!’
Donzig paused then, a hand lifting as he extended a finger before pressing it against the slotted mouth of his mask. He took a deep breath, and then his hand balled into a fist as he lowered his head for a moment. Esmeralda stared at him, and then Donzig’s hand dropped and he shrugged.
‘Oh, I have been waiting for quite some time to show you just how boring and overexposed I am. You see, unlike say, you people, I actually enjoy what I do. And so I am content to go and do it, and not rest on my fucking laurels, or my connections. You should try it sometime, but it is easier to hang in your little kliq isn’t it? That is why I am over in LWA doing real shit, that is why I am winning gold in CWF! And you’re doing the–’
A hiss.
‘Same. Old. Shit.’
A shrug, and Donzig lifted his hand to splay across his mask. He pulled it off, eyes narrowed as he scowled as it was lowered. He stared at it, then handed it off to Esmeralda.
‘But between all of that, between my war with Armand, and my little conflict with SKY force. I will find time to show all of you the error of your ways.’
A sneer.
‘Now if you will excuse Esmeralda and I? We need to go find some lost fucking temple or fight a god to restore my lost sense of humor! Whatever the cool kids are doing when they are not latching on Marty for relevance or being stabbed by that over rated hack, Zoran.’
Esmeralda gives up, laughing as she shakes her head as she looks away from the cold imperious face of the Scourge. Donzig shrugged, a hand waving as he turned to go.
‘You don’t get the catch phrase.’
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Random🎲McConalogue
.::XHF Competitor::.
I have this weird nostalgia for indie summers on the road
Posts: 56 
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Post by Random🎲McConalogue on Mar 15, 2023 21:47:35 GMT -5
The picture cuts back in. Same tearoom as beforeRandom: ...oh another one? Yeah, go on. I fancy my chances in this one as well
She shrugs and relaxes back in her chair
Random: I'm on a bit of a roll... so it's gonnae get dicey for everyone else...
There's barely time for her to drift off into an insincere smile before the abrupt cut.
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ForeverKuroi
Mafia Host
The guy above me smells like cheese.
Posts: 7,484
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Post by ForeverKuroi on Mar 16, 2023 23:16:50 GMT -5
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Post by vastrix on Mar 16, 2023 23:53:46 GMT -5
Esmeralda von Krauss walks up to a podium that has cameras and a crowd gathered around it. Donzig isn't far from her, but Esmeralda is radiant in a red and green flowery dress that's cut dangerously low in the front. You wanna see the dress? Sure you do.  Esmeralda von Krauss: It has come to my attention that the lovely Donzig might be all alone in this battle royal...thing...that you people call the Rumble. She opens up a red and green flowery handbag to pull out a golden container for her Egyptian cigarettes and lighter. She affixes one onto the end of a bright green and red foot-long holder and lights it up. Donzig: I don't think you can smoke during a press conference, Esmeralda. Esmeralda blows smoke into the air with a laugh. Esmeralda von Krauss: They can try to stop me, dahling. Several security workers make their way through the crowd with their eyes on Esmeralda. They'll make her respect the rules. Esmeralda von Krauss: But alas, if they try...I will kill all of them. Suddenly the security workers find other things to do, one of them even escorting out a reporter who complained about EVK smoking. Esmeralda looks at Donzig with a raised eyebrow and a smirk, flicking ashes onto the podium. She turns her attention to the crowd. Esmeralda von Krauss: I have decided to join the Rumble. I will go out there and eliminate everyone to become the X*Crown champion, unless of course, Donzig were to do it first. I bring my unique fighting style to the table. I think not everyone will be walking straight or talking in the correct manner when I am finished with this match. People began raising their hands as if someone called out to ask for questions. Esmeralda chuckles blowing smoke into the air as she does so. Esmeralda von Krauss: This isn't a Q and A, dahlings. This is a presentation. You are looking at your next X*Crown champion. That's all that really needs to be said. Donzig, come. Esmeralda von Krauss walks away from the podium with Donzig not far behind. Donzig: And what kind of promos can we expect? Esmeralda von Krauss: When it's your turn, you decide your thing. When its mine...I think we should kill a god once and for all. Donzig: A god? Esmeralda von Krauss: Elizabeth Gallant. |
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Post by RattyMcDaddy on Mar 17, 2023 18:05:51 GMT -5
A slight cough can be heard as the video begins to play.
Slowly the golden curls and Cheshire Cat smile of AVB, Always Very Blessed, or as his government name states, Alexander Von Blankenship, slides into the frame.
A large gold chain, with a huge pendant that reads "Blessed" hangs from his neck and dangles across his Prada logoed sweat shirt. Oh you know im Blessing the Rumble with my appearance. Why would I let a over used bum like Donzig, or a never gonna meet his potential ass hat like Bloddied Fox take all the glory when the Rumble can have a true talent like myself in it? The gods, both above and below, have given me the gifts of good looks, talent, and these mother fucking hands. AVB huntches down into a boxers stance, does a little shadow boxing, then quick steps his feet in a shuffle ala Muhamad Ali. showing he is quick as a cat and twice as nasty as a butt plug in a hookers butthole. Your looking at the future of the XHF Network, the future Rumbke Winner, and the future X*Crown Champion.
Black
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Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Mar 17, 2023 18:56:57 GMT -5
*BAM! Cell phone is on in selfie mode held up high like a jackass with a masked face filling most of the frame.*
LD: COWARDS! I bet that most of the XHF Network is full of them! Weak and flimsy COWARDS! But do you know who's not a coward?
*He DominiThinks.*
LD: THE DARK LORD OF THE XHF NETWORK, ME, LORD DOMINICUS! You can expect to see me tossing out losers left and right, and I'll still respect them more than the people who didn't show up!
*The EVILLEST OF ALL EVILS points at the camera.*
LD: And I think we all know which companies are filled with the most cowards here. I will use my Rumble-given soapbox to HUMILIATE THEM and the Rumble match to WORK OUT ANGER ISSUES on people who aren't TOO YELLOW TO COMPETE! Then it will be time for your DARK LORD'S ascension!
*A perky face pushes its way into the frame- it's the Star Trekker*
Trekker: And I'll be there too!
LD: GAH! YOU'RE AN ALBATROSS!
Trekker: No I'm not!
BB (off-camera): De alguna manera lo eres.
Trekker: Hold on let me get my universal translator!
*She pops out*
DB (off-camera): GUYS, WHAT IS FOR LUNCH?
Trekker: (off-camera): We had lunch five minutes ago!
*DominiFace-Palm*
LD: BAH! BLAST THEM ALL! I WILL HAVE MUCH ANGER TO WORK OUT VERBALLY AND PHYSICALLY THIS TIME!
*Cut*
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