Cowards 2 (LD 2/ Trekker .5)
Mar 31, 2023 20:04:46 GMT -5
Dave D-Flipz, bloodiedfox, and 2 more like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Mar 31, 2023 20:04:46 GMT -5
*We fade in on a strange sight for most, though familiar to some probably- a pert rear wiggling at the camera as the owner of said set of hips struggles to free herself from a dryer. From within comes the familiar voice of the Star Trekker, the XHF Network’s MOST FAMOUS (don’t @ me) member of the streaming wars.*
Trekker: Oh step-Marty, can you come in here….and get me out?
*The Paramount+-sponsored wrestler shakes her booty at the camera. We then quick cut to actually inside the dryer. It is very claustrophobic but Trekker looks deadpan into the camera.*
Trekker: …Oh no…you can’t, because you’re too much of a coward to enter the Rumble. Not just you either, the rest of CAR as well- well, aside from Copycat but does he count? I don’t think so. Oh sure, everyone was satisfied with their little pillow battle, but I see that all of the folks there lack the tribbles to get in the big ring.
*Quick cut to the outside to see Trekker still moving her rear back and forth like a dog wagging a tail. In Star Trek skin-hugging uniform this can be quite hypnotic. Back inside the dryer!*
Trekker: Honestly I’d even be open to mixing it up with Ollie Oldham if her little foray into a bed-based battle is any indication of what you’re into…
*She winks and licks her lips.*
Trekker: …But nooooo, Disney’s little princess can’t get her dress dirty. She’d never cut it in Starfleet with that attitude. Maybe she’d be better off as an Orion traded woman if you know what I mean.
*Suddenly she stops, looks down.*
Trekker: Oh, that’s where it is!
*The Star Trekker holds up a pair of extremely small underwear, barely even justifiable as panties.*
Trekker: Oh my, these must have shrunk. But…lacking any extras I guess I’ll have to wear them…
*She sighs.*
Trekker: These are smaller than a type-two shuttlepod. Just imagine, Marty, how they’ll look wrapped around my slender Intrepid-class body…
*Another wink.*
Trekker: If only some big…strong…handsome…Disney prince would be around during the Rumble to valiantly carry me out should my uniform rip- in order to save my dignity. His arms wrapped around my body as he carries us out over the top rope to strange new worlds…
*She sighs, then deadpans at the camera.*
Trekker: Alas, the Disney prince is more of a Sleeping Beauty and won’t be there. Thus proving once again that Paramount is the superior production company. Why did you guys know-
*As she continues talking about the superiority of the company she’s paid to promote a pair of boots come up behind the waggling butt of Star Trekker. Her voice echoes from inside the dryer.*
Trekker: Hey, who’s there?
*Two hands slowly reach down towards her exposed lower half as the camera returns to inside the dryer. Trekker’s eyes bulge as a look of concern overcomes her...*
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Beat.
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*...Trekker is suddenly yanked out of the dryer and lands ungracefully on the laundry room floor. She looks up while rubbing sore spots at her unwelcomed DARK LORD OF LIBERATION.*
LD: I HAVE FREED YOU! But I will say, interloper, that I respect you for having the guts to venture inside of a dark cavernous hole.
*She gets up and dusts herself off, but is unable to speak because Lord Dominicus is sucking all the air out of the room.*
LD: You see, I have a lot of experience sticking my nose into dark holes.
*Trekker seems confused.*
LD: Yes indeed, I have no fear of the unknown and every juicy black hole of mystery could hold riches profound or horrors unseen! But there is one cavernous hole I wouldn’t’ want to venture into- the swamp that is HardKore World.
*The unwelcomed 4th member of the Bad to the Bone crew pops her head into the increasingly LD-focused frame.*
Trekker: That’s where Marty Donovan is from! What a coward he is! Boooo Marty!
*Dominicus pushes her back out so he can have more attention on himself.*
LD: HardKore world is the bastard son of CWA, run by the prodigal son of SWAT, starring the probably legitimate son of Jonnie Valentine. Disgusting. HardKore World is a swamp that smells worse than this laundry room does on underwear day!
*Trekker lifts up her tiny panties prop and smells it, making a face and glaring at Lord Dominicus, confirming his speculation.*
LD: And why? Because there’s no flow, it is stagnant water in the river of the XHF Network. Everyone who goes there just stays there- well, except Cross- he’s fine, I guess. But maybe HardKore World is less of a swamp- smell be darned- but more like a crappy dryer that eats socks.
*Lord Dominicus holds his hand out to Trekker, expecting something.*
Trekker: What?
LD: Give me a sock, it’s part of the presentation.
*She grumbles and hops on one foot while taking off one of her socks and handing it to the GREATEST EVIL IN ALL OF CAR RACING.*
LD: This is a HKW superstar! It certainly smells like one anyway.
Trekker: HEY!
*He then tosses the sock in the dryer.*
LD: Every superstar in HKW is probably going to end their career there if they haven’t already reached retirement age and are a few matches away from quietly disappearing into the ether. Such is HardKore world and it’s cowardly geriatric roster.
Trekker: Well hold on now. I’m confused. You respect me for climbing into the dryer- but it’s clear you don’t respect HKW- expect for Cross- and yet you compare them to this very same dryer.
LD: YOU ARE IN ERROR! I don’t respect Cross Recoba. But to answer your question in the form of a statement, you are willing to dive into the unknown- just like how you’ve valiantly stepped up without hesitation to enter the Rumble. Just like pretty much all of REIGN’s final stars.
Trekker: What’s REIGN?
LD: A former fed with a lot of old wrestler who actually weren’t scared to put their win/loss records on the line to win big. DID YOU KNOW, XHF Network Universe, that Donzig, Death Trap, EVK, and Steve Awesome are all in the Rumble? That means that a DEAD COMPANY has better representation than most of the other feds in the XHF Network!
Trekker: Combined!
LD: Indeed! And note the ease with which I can reference all of these names with confidence. It’s because EVERYONE knows who they are. Just like Dylan Black and Zoran Sainovic, who are also in the Rumble again. SUCH ARE THE NAMES OF STARS! Obviously not DARK STARS- not the WUK ones, but like, ME- but stars nonetheless. You know who all these WELL-KNOWN AND RESPECTED NAMES aren’t like?
Trekker: HardKore World?
LD: YES! HardKore World. The cowards there probably don’t even know there is a Rumble because they all need reading glasses at this point but are probably too proud to buy them.
Trekker: Even Marty Donovan?
LD: Especially Marty Donovan! He’ll show up here and there around the Network- mostly COWARD-FILLED FEDS, but when he finally gets a chance at the big one. When the X*Crown is on the line for ANYONE AND EVERYONE to compete for? He decides to go and hide at home. At least Cross Recoba has entered into the Rumble to defend HKW’s honor, like Donzig is defending WUK’s.
*He gets close to the camera.*
LD: BUT KNOW THIS, those of you who didn’t decide to shy away from competition. Who weren’t scared by the OVERWHELMING ODDS against them, who DARED TO PROBE THE DARKNESS, you are entering into the Rumble with the BLACKEST EVIL IN THE ENTIRETY OF WRESTLING-
Trekker: And me!
LD: …And some lady who thinks she’s from space or whatever. AND WE SHALL UTTERLY ELIMINATE ALL WHO STAND IN OUR PATH!
Trekker: Yeah!
LD: Shut up, interloper. Prepare for the VANTABLACK TIMELINE to begin on April 31st, for DARKNESS IS THE NEW BLACK!
*Dominicus looks at Paramount+’s representative.*
LD: Now it is time for us to venture back into the TIGHT WET HOLE OF THE UNKNOWN and see if we can GET A THRILL- OF VICTORY!
Trekker: Wha-
*Before she can respond Lord Dominicus shoves the Star Trekker back into the dryer and walks off.*
Trekker: HEY! I’M IN TOO FAR NOW AND I CAN’T GET OUT!
LD (offscreen): Yes! That’s all part of the siren call of global events! EMBRACE IT YOUNG GATECRASHER!
*Trekker flails her bottom half around trying to get out as the camera fades.*
Trekker: Oh step-Marty, can you come in here….and get me out?
*The Paramount+-sponsored wrestler shakes her booty at the camera. We then quick cut to actually inside the dryer. It is very claustrophobic but Trekker looks deadpan into the camera.*
Trekker: …Oh no…you can’t, because you’re too much of a coward to enter the Rumble. Not just you either, the rest of CAR as well- well, aside from Copycat but does he count? I don’t think so. Oh sure, everyone was satisfied with their little pillow battle, but I see that all of the folks there lack the tribbles to get in the big ring.
*Quick cut to the outside to see Trekker still moving her rear back and forth like a dog wagging a tail. In Star Trek skin-hugging uniform this can be quite hypnotic. Back inside the dryer!*
Trekker: Honestly I’d even be open to mixing it up with Ollie Oldham if her little foray into a bed-based battle is any indication of what you’re into…
*She winks and licks her lips.*
Trekker: …But nooooo, Disney’s little princess can’t get her dress dirty. She’d never cut it in Starfleet with that attitude. Maybe she’d be better off as an Orion traded woman if you know what I mean.
*Suddenly she stops, looks down.*
Trekker: Oh, that’s where it is!
*The Star Trekker holds up a pair of extremely small underwear, barely even justifiable as panties.*
Trekker: Oh my, these must have shrunk. But…lacking any extras I guess I’ll have to wear them…
*She sighs.*
Trekker: These are smaller than a type-two shuttlepod. Just imagine, Marty, how they’ll look wrapped around my slender Intrepid-class body…
*Another wink.*
Trekker: If only some big…strong…handsome…Disney prince would be around during the Rumble to valiantly carry me out should my uniform rip- in order to save my dignity. His arms wrapped around my body as he carries us out over the top rope to strange new worlds…
*She sighs, then deadpans at the camera.*
Trekker: Alas, the Disney prince is more of a Sleeping Beauty and won’t be there. Thus proving once again that Paramount is the superior production company. Why did you guys know-
*As she continues talking about the superiority of the company she’s paid to promote a pair of boots come up behind the waggling butt of Star Trekker. Her voice echoes from inside the dryer.*
Trekker: Hey, who’s there?
*Two hands slowly reach down towards her exposed lower half as the camera returns to inside the dryer. Trekker’s eyes bulge as a look of concern overcomes her...*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Beat.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*...Trekker is suddenly yanked out of the dryer and lands ungracefully on the laundry room floor. She looks up while rubbing sore spots at her unwelcomed DARK LORD OF LIBERATION.*
LD: I HAVE FREED YOU! But I will say, interloper, that I respect you for having the guts to venture inside of a dark cavernous hole.
*She gets up and dusts herself off, but is unable to speak because Lord Dominicus is sucking all the air out of the room.*
LD: You see, I have a lot of experience sticking my nose into dark holes.
*Trekker seems confused.*
LD: Yes indeed, I have no fear of the unknown and every juicy black hole of mystery could hold riches profound or horrors unseen! But there is one cavernous hole I wouldn’t’ want to venture into- the swamp that is HardKore World.
*The unwelcomed 4th member of the Bad to the Bone crew pops her head into the increasingly LD-focused frame.*
Trekker: That’s where Marty Donovan is from! What a coward he is! Boooo Marty!
*Dominicus pushes her back out so he can have more attention on himself.*
LD: HardKore world is the bastard son of CWA, run by the prodigal son of SWAT, starring the probably legitimate son of Jonnie Valentine. Disgusting. HardKore World is a swamp that smells worse than this laundry room does on underwear day!
*Trekker lifts up her tiny panties prop and smells it, making a face and glaring at Lord Dominicus, confirming his speculation.*
LD: And why? Because there’s no flow, it is stagnant water in the river of the XHF Network. Everyone who goes there just stays there- well, except Cross- he’s fine, I guess. But maybe HardKore World is less of a swamp- smell be darned- but more like a crappy dryer that eats socks.
*Lord Dominicus holds his hand out to Trekker, expecting something.*
Trekker: What?
LD: Give me a sock, it’s part of the presentation.
*She grumbles and hops on one foot while taking off one of her socks and handing it to the GREATEST EVIL IN ALL OF CAR RACING.*
LD: This is a HKW superstar! It certainly smells like one anyway.
Trekker: HEY!
*He then tosses the sock in the dryer.*
LD: Every superstar in HKW is probably going to end their career there if they haven’t already reached retirement age and are a few matches away from quietly disappearing into the ether. Such is HardKore world and it’s cowardly geriatric roster.
Trekker: Well hold on now. I’m confused. You respect me for climbing into the dryer- but it’s clear you don’t respect HKW- expect for Cross- and yet you compare them to this very same dryer.
LD: YOU ARE IN ERROR! I don’t respect Cross Recoba. But to answer your question in the form of a statement, you are willing to dive into the unknown- just like how you’ve valiantly stepped up without hesitation to enter the Rumble. Just like pretty much all of REIGN’s final stars.
Trekker: What’s REIGN?
LD: A former fed with a lot of old wrestler who actually weren’t scared to put their win/loss records on the line to win big. DID YOU KNOW, XHF Network Universe, that Donzig, Death Trap, EVK, and Steve Awesome are all in the Rumble? That means that a DEAD COMPANY has better representation than most of the other feds in the XHF Network!
Trekker: Combined!
LD: Indeed! And note the ease with which I can reference all of these names with confidence. It’s because EVERYONE knows who they are. Just like Dylan Black and Zoran Sainovic, who are also in the Rumble again. SUCH ARE THE NAMES OF STARS! Obviously not DARK STARS- not the WUK ones, but like, ME- but stars nonetheless. You know who all these WELL-KNOWN AND RESPECTED NAMES aren’t like?
Trekker: HardKore World?
LD: YES! HardKore World. The cowards there probably don’t even know there is a Rumble because they all need reading glasses at this point but are probably too proud to buy them.
Trekker: Even Marty Donovan?
LD: Especially Marty Donovan! He’ll show up here and there around the Network- mostly COWARD-FILLED FEDS, but when he finally gets a chance at the big one. When the X*Crown is on the line for ANYONE AND EVERYONE to compete for? He decides to go and hide at home. At least Cross Recoba has entered into the Rumble to defend HKW’s honor, like Donzig is defending WUK’s.
*He gets close to the camera.*
LD: BUT KNOW THIS, those of you who didn’t decide to shy away from competition. Who weren’t scared by the OVERWHELMING ODDS against them, who DARED TO PROBE THE DARKNESS, you are entering into the Rumble with the BLACKEST EVIL IN THE ENTIRETY OF WRESTLING-
Trekker: And me!
LD: …And some lady who thinks she’s from space or whatever. AND WE SHALL UTTERLY ELIMINATE ALL WHO STAND IN OUR PATH!
Trekker: Yeah!
LD: Shut up, interloper. Prepare for the VANTABLACK TIMELINE to begin on April 31st, for DARKNESS IS THE NEW BLACK!
*Dominicus looks at Paramount+’s representative.*
LD: Now it is time for us to venture back into the TIGHT WET HOLE OF THE UNKNOWN and see if we can GET A THRILL- OF VICTORY!
Trekker: Wha-
*Before she can respond Lord Dominicus shoves the Star Trekker back into the dryer and walks off.*
Trekker: HEY! I’M IN TOO FAR NOW AND I CAN’T GET OUT!
LD (offscreen): Yes! That’s all part of the siren call of global events! EMBRACE IT YOUNG GATECRASHER!
*Trekker flails her bottom half around trying to get out as the camera fades.*
