Cowards 3 (LD 3/Trekker .8)
Apr 7, 2023 20:09:43 GMT -5
Dave D-Flipz, bloodiedfox, and 2 more like this
Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Apr 7, 2023 20:09:43 GMT -5
*Cameras flash as one person’s hand is held high. Their body is obscured by heavy backlighting as they stand in front of a screaming audience.*
“YOUR WINNNER……AND NEEEEEW X*CROWN CHAMPION……”
*The scene freezes*
“This could be you on April 30th.”
*The camera circles around to the front of the figure bathed in light. It’s Lord Dominicus, likely the crowd was a screen. He slowly lowers his arm.*
LD: …But it won’t be. Because I’m in the Rumble and I’ll already have thrown you out. So to all of those people who had the guts to come lose to me, I thank you for your sacrifice. Quite honestly, although there are a few of us- we can’t all be Lord Dominicus…es. Oh no, that’s an honor reserved for a select few- that is to say, me. Also some guy we don’t talk about but since we don’t talk about him we’ll assume I’m talking exclusively about me.
*Dang, that sort of threw stuff off track. The DARK LORD OF THE XHF NETWORK has to stop and think a few moments to get back to where he was.*
LD: To every Donzig, Cross Recoba, and Alexander Von Blankenship- making up a combined 1% of WUK and HKW’s rosters- I salute you. Not literally because it’s not worth raising my arm to do that. But I respect your decision to put your MASSIVE win/loss records on the line so that I, THE TRUE DARKNESS OF THE NETWORK, can toss you out and make myself look better. Oh yeah, that’s right AVB, I remembered you’re in HKW and in the Rumble. I might have overlooked you before and that’s…
*He DominiThinks.*
LD: …Completely understandable. You’re a loser just like the rest of the people in the Rumble.
*Quickly some defensive hands go up.*
LD: Now, now, don’t get upset. That’s just how it goes when the odds are worse than thirty-to-one. Especially when that ONE is this one-
*He points to himself.*
LD: Me. I’m talking about me. But let’s not beat off any bushes here, not everyone in the Rumble has always been a loser. Oh no, Death Trap has been the X*Crown Champion before, Dylan has been champ an unprecedented three times! So has Zoran Sainovic! I’m not going to take away from any of their accolades except to say…
*Dominicus gets close to the camera.*
LD: They’re not me. And this year is the YEAR OF DARKNESS AND DOOM if the market has anything to say about it and therefore it is also the YEAR OF DOMINICUS! So alas, EVK, AVB, MJP and BEEEEEEEEEEF- it’s not your year. It’s mine.
*He backs up.*
LD: But a loss to me isn’t that bad. Lots of people have lost to me and have been able to find their footing. People like Eric D…like Liam B…like Marcus S- look the point isn’t about the people I’ve beaten. OH OH, ALL OF CAR. I’ve beaten all of CAR and they seem fine. Well, except for that skinny pregnant guy, but his problems are unrelated to me.
*Dominicus has lost his place again and has to shake the cobwebs back.*
LD: THE POINT IS, the real losers of the Rumble this year? They’re the ones who didn’t even sign up to compete. You see, these people didn’t want to risk their win/loss records on a match with terrible odds. Oh heaven forbid you get thrown out of a ring. DEVISTATING! I’m sure nobody who’s been tossed over a top rope has ever recovered or been able to defend such a loss. They probably are afraid of going back to their mudshows and getting tomatoes thrown at them for failing to secure a victory against over thirty people. I mean you might as well be tapping to a woman at that point, right?
*He points at the camera.*
LD: Yeah that’s aimed at all of you who still complain about such things. But that’s the kind of person who doesn’t show up to a Rumble. The kind of person who hides behind excuses to avoid global events. “Oh I could be tossed out by ‘The Kawaii’- whatever that is- ‘Supernova’ Yuki Sakarbara and my career in my local garbage company would be ruined!”
*We get a mock DominiCry. As in Lord Dominicus pretends to wipe his eye spots on his mask as though he’s crying.*
LD: WELL I’VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU! You’re wrong on multiple accounts- but the biggest one is this: Yuki or Natasha or Esmeralda or The Industrial Woman or even The Dirty Stupid Interloper-
“HEY!”
LD: -Won’t have the chance to throw you out! Because I’ll have already tossed them! Not that there’s anything wrong with it. But I can’t understand any other reason somebody from some dumb company wouldn’t want to show up. Remember how I mentioned that three out of fifty people from WUK and HKW are showing up? Well guess what, THAT’S HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE COMING FROM CAR! And our roster is MUCH smaller! And do you know why that is?
*Dominicus gets close to the camera again.*
LD: Because apparently the people who have to hide behind the wheel of cars have bigger balls than the cowards who didn’t want to show up this year. But…
*He puts up defensive hands.*
LD: But, I want to give you a hand at the same time.
*We get a DominiGolfClap.*
LD: Congratulations to the folks who have opted out of one of the best chances in their life to become X*Crown Champion. Your record is secure. I’m sure it’ll serve you well as you toil away in obscurity. Meanwhile?
*The one-time CAR Sippy Cup winner and ONLY TIME NPW Triple Crown Champion leans back on the ropes for his set.*
LD: Meanwhile you can sit on the couch at home while REAL STARS show you why their names are in lights. People drawn to the light like the Thespian. People like Steve Awesome, who can’t help but be in the spotlight. People like Jack Diamond who you’d have to shoot to keep away from a Rumble. And people like me, Lord Dominicus, who’s known across the land.
*He gestures, gliding his hand across the frame.*
LD: You don’t know me because I’m afraid to damage my reputation and my record. You know me because I go out there and I don’t make excuse, I just BRING THE DARKNESS. And just like everyone in the Rumble, soon you will stand in my shadow.
*The camera pans around again to behind Lord Dominicus as he once again raises his hand and becomes a black outline due to the heavy backlighting (frontlighting?).*
“Ladies and gentlemen……your 2023 Rumble winner AND NEW X*CROWN CHAMPION! THE STAR TREKKER!”
LD: HEY!
*Another shadow suddenly slides into the ring and tosses Lord Dominicus out. The lithe frame jumps up and down in celebration as the scene fades out and the crowd cheers.*
“YOUR WINNNER……AND NEEEEEW X*CROWN CHAMPION……”
*The scene freezes*
“This could be you on April 30th.”
*The camera circles around to the front of the figure bathed in light. It’s Lord Dominicus, likely the crowd was a screen. He slowly lowers his arm.*
LD: …But it won’t be. Because I’m in the Rumble and I’ll already have thrown you out. So to all of those people who had the guts to come lose to me, I thank you for your sacrifice. Quite honestly, although there are a few of us- we can’t all be Lord Dominicus…es. Oh no, that’s an honor reserved for a select few- that is to say, me. Also some guy we don’t talk about but since we don’t talk about him we’ll assume I’m talking exclusively about me.
*Dang, that sort of threw stuff off track. The DARK LORD OF THE XHF NETWORK has to stop and think a few moments to get back to where he was.*
LD: To every Donzig, Cross Recoba, and Alexander Von Blankenship- making up a combined 1% of WUK and HKW’s rosters- I salute you. Not literally because it’s not worth raising my arm to do that. But I respect your decision to put your MASSIVE win/loss records on the line so that I, THE TRUE DARKNESS OF THE NETWORK, can toss you out and make myself look better. Oh yeah, that’s right AVB, I remembered you’re in HKW and in the Rumble. I might have overlooked you before and that’s…
*He DominiThinks.*
LD: …Completely understandable. You’re a loser just like the rest of the people in the Rumble.
*Quickly some defensive hands go up.*
LD: Now, now, don’t get upset. That’s just how it goes when the odds are worse than thirty-to-one. Especially when that ONE is this one-
*He points to himself.*
LD: Me. I’m talking about me. But let’s not beat off any bushes here, not everyone in the Rumble has always been a loser. Oh no, Death Trap has been the X*Crown Champion before, Dylan has been champ an unprecedented three times! So has Zoran Sainovic! I’m not going to take away from any of their accolades except to say…
*Dominicus gets close to the camera.*
LD: They’re not me. And this year is the YEAR OF DARKNESS AND DOOM if the market has anything to say about it and therefore it is also the YEAR OF DOMINICUS! So alas, EVK, AVB, MJP and BEEEEEEEEEEF- it’s not your year. It’s mine.
*He backs up.*
LD: But a loss to me isn’t that bad. Lots of people have lost to me and have been able to find their footing. People like Eric D…like Liam B…like Marcus S- look the point isn’t about the people I’ve beaten. OH OH, ALL OF CAR. I’ve beaten all of CAR and they seem fine. Well, except for that skinny pregnant guy, but his problems are unrelated to me.
*Dominicus has lost his place again and has to shake the cobwebs back.*
LD: THE POINT IS, the real losers of the Rumble this year? They’re the ones who didn’t even sign up to compete. You see, these people didn’t want to risk their win/loss records on a match with terrible odds. Oh heaven forbid you get thrown out of a ring. DEVISTATING! I’m sure nobody who’s been tossed over a top rope has ever recovered or been able to defend such a loss. They probably are afraid of going back to their mudshows and getting tomatoes thrown at them for failing to secure a victory against over thirty people. I mean you might as well be tapping to a woman at that point, right?
*He points at the camera.*
LD: Yeah that’s aimed at all of you who still complain about such things. But that’s the kind of person who doesn’t show up to a Rumble. The kind of person who hides behind excuses to avoid global events. “Oh I could be tossed out by ‘The Kawaii’- whatever that is- ‘Supernova’ Yuki Sakarbara and my career in my local garbage company would be ruined!”
*We get a mock DominiCry. As in Lord Dominicus pretends to wipe his eye spots on his mask as though he’s crying.*
LD: WELL I’VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU! You’re wrong on multiple accounts- but the biggest one is this: Yuki or Natasha or Esmeralda or The Industrial Woman or even The Dirty Stupid Interloper-
“HEY!”
LD: -Won’t have the chance to throw you out! Because I’ll have already tossed them! Not that there’s anything wrong with it. But I can’t understand any other reason somebody from some dumb company wouldn’t want to show up. Remember how I mentioned that three out of fifty people from WUK and HKW are showing up? Well guess what, THAT’S HOW MANY PEOPLE ARE COMING FROM CAR! And our roster is MUCH smaller! And do you know why that is?
*Dominicus gets close to the camera again.*
LD: Because apparently the people who have to hide behind the wheel of cars have bigger balls than the cowards who didn’t want to show up this year. But…
*He puts up defensive hands.*
LD: But, I want to give you a hand at the same time.
*We get a DominiGolfClap.*
LD: Congratulations to the folks who have opted out of one of the best chances in their life to become X*Crown Champion. Your record is secure. I’m sure it’ll serve you well as you toil away in obscurity. Meanwhile?
*The one-time CAR Sippy Cup winner and ONLY TIME NPW Triple Crown Champion leans back on the ropes for his set.*
LD: Meanwhile you can sit on the couch at home while REAL STARS show you why their names are in lights. People drawn to the light like the Thespian. People like Steve Awesome, who can’t help but be in the spotlight. People like Jack Diamond who you’d have to shoot to keep away from a Rumble. And people like me, Lord Dominicus, who’s known across the land.
*He gestures, gliding his hand across the frame.*
LD: You don’t know me because I’m afraid to damage my reputation and my record. You know me because I go out there and I don’t make excuse, I just BRING THE DARKNESS. And just like everyone in the Rumble, soon you will stand in my shadow.
*The camera pans around again to behind Lord Dominicus as he once again raises his hand and becomes a black outline due to the heavy backlighting (frontlighting?).*
“Ladies and gentlemen……your 2023 Rumble winner AND NEW X*CROWN CHAMPION! THE STAR TREKKER!”
LD: HEY!
*Another shadow suddenly slides into the ring and tosses Lord Dominicus out. The lithe frame jumps up and down in celebration as the scene fades out and the crowd cheers.*
