A Conversation [ZS R 02]

[mosler]

Squared Circle Observatory

Spring 2023 Edition

Interview with Zoran Sainovic

By Miles Drucker

The following conversation occurred at Grady Memorial Hospital, where Zoran Sainovic was recovering from injuries sustained at the hands of Bloodied Fox on the GUNS April Fools special. Having developed strong community ties during his relatively short time at the Atlanta based organization, the man who brought the XHF to its darkest timeline was surrounded by balloons and cards wishing him a speedy recovery. Despite being in obvious discomfort, Sainovic came across as personable and kind – rarely showing signs of his notorious mean streak, and even these flashes were clearly a result of the pain.

MD: Thank you for taking the time to speak with me, especially considering the conditions.

ZS: Time waits for no man. Your publication has deadlines, and I want your readers to know that GUNS talent are going to make the XHF Rumble a pay per view worthy of their patronage.

MD: Still, that looks like it hurts.

ZS: When you’ve been beat by Fox, you know it. Still, at least Ahab finally got to harpoon his great white whale. To be perfectly frank, when I first made that comparison, I was trying to warn Fox that his obsession would be his downfall. Apparently Herman Melville doesn’t apply on land, because now look at me now – beached.

MD: Many would describe that specific match as more of an assault than a wrestling contest, yet you seem to be taking this merciless beating in stride-

ZS: Looking at the body of my work, one might think I got into sports entertainment due to some deranged bloodlust. Nothing could be further from the truth. My own limited skillset might cater towards gorier affairs, but the thing about wrestling that speaks to me? It is not the violence, but the artistry. Even at its worst, blown headlocks can be a thing of beauty – let alone more intricate maneuverers executed perfectly, it’s all that poetry of motion! This is an art. So witnessing the passion with which Fox pursued me, his unbridled hunger? Who could fault him a meal? Not I. So he feasted well. I only hope that having achieved his desire; Fox can now move on and put to rest his bitterness. So if me sitting in this hospital bed means that Fox can achieve the greatness that I know he is capable of? It was worth it. Who knows if I have another match left in me... but if my final appearance gives Fox the momentum he needs to finally win the Rumble? I’d say my sacrifice was worth it.

MD: Speaking of the rumble-

ZS: Yes, Rumble season. Many organizations run them, but few can hold a candle to sheer madcap chaos offered by the XHF. As my career winds down, I genuinely regret not being involved in more of them with the Network. To this date, I’ve only been involved in two. I’ve held the X*Crown more times than I have appeared in the XHF Rumble, can you believe it?

MD: The 2020 and 2022 Rumbles. Very different experiences...

ZS: Yes, I was the defending champion for 2020, won as a challenger last year.

MD: How did the experiences differ? Was it just easier the second time without the pressure of having everyone gunning for you?

ZS: Well the thing to keep in mind about my Rumble loss, is that I had only been with the Network for all of three months. The actual expectations of me weren’t clearly defined. Communication between the federation that I was representing, and the Network itself – always left something to be desired, but during that period it was especially strained. There were enough jealous staff in my company, that I’m sure the information was being given by the XHF, it just wasn’t being passed on to me. I might have been the champion, but I certainly didn’t feel it. To put it in perspective, I only discovered that as the crown holder, I would be given the final Rumble spot... the night of.

MD: Really?

ZS: The month started with me making a passionate plea in Mongo’s defence, unfamiliar with their April fools traditions.

MD: OH. That is unfortunate.

ZS: That was a lot of egg to wipe off my face, and as the allegedly calculating villain, an embarrassment that proved impossible to come back from. Syndicate also presold a number of shows that required me to have some rather gruelling defences right up to the wire. I was in charge of the federation, but their schedules had been set long before I arrived, and fulfilling existing commitments to their fans meant I was under the gun until the day of the Rumble, while my many challengers had comparatively relaxed schedules by virtue of being employed by promotions that were less garbage. Now, Caffrey, the person who ultimately dethroned me came from Syndicate as well, but he had enough history outside of it that he enjoyed the inside track, and used it to great advantage. There was a lot going against me, but the deciding factor in my mind was familiarity – not numbers.

MD: So you didn’t feel there was a target on you-

ZS: Far from it! My being a high profile elimination on paper only drew one interested party. Fox. He tried to make a name for himself, and it cost him. Ended up costing me far more, mind you, as he continues to get his lump of flesh back three years later. As for the rest... the 2020 Rumble had HEAVY involvement by the AWF. I had taken the Crown from them, and apparently that was against the rules. Rather than vow revenge, however, they decided to give me the silent treatment. So I resented the defence, but at no point did I feel targeted – trust me, the attention would have helped my chances.

MD: You may have had more opponents gunning for you last year.

ZS: Yes, my stock had actually risen at that point.

MD: So what do you attribute the win in your second rumble to?

ZS: Simply put, I wasn’t there for the crown. My only goal was to murder, Steve. I definitely sliced a few years off the late Mister Awesome, winning was just a side spoil. Funny how it all had a way of coming together...

MD: It’s easy to say “forget about the crown” when you have set the record for times holding it...

ZS: Too true. I have enjoyed an embarrassment of riches over the past year. My point is not to discourage participants from chasing after success... the crown is the main reason for signing-up. The quality of the wrestlers involved varies greatly; from the bomb building aptitude of The Star Trekker to the stunner fetishist that is Donzig... the one consistent is that lust for glory. Yes, there are less bodies in the ring than previous rumbles – some might even say that an asterisk should be required to denote that it is more of a battle royal – but there are still enough bodies involved that anything can happen. If Magnus was ever going to get the GUNS X*Crown champion that he actually approves of, namely him, than the rumble would be his best hope for it. Go in trying to win the X*Crown, sure, but don’t make that the focus. Find something else that you can achieve personal growth with, like I did making Steve my bitch. Not – “I’ll eliminate more people than anyone else,” or “I’ll last the longest” – while impressive achievements, an individual has as much say in those accolades as winning the whole thing. No, I am suggesting they find smaller goals. Florida Man forcing Pepsi Man to drink a diet coke. No one could take that away from him. Jesse Jamester drawing first blood on Dylan, not eliminating the champion – Black has this tied up – but cutting him deep enough to remind folks that the Pillars were a thing. You might think Tinto staying up past his bedtime is a joke – but if his bedtime is set at 11, and the Rumble ends at 10 – him staying awake might well lead to a title win. If I had been eliminated last year, I would have been fine with the consolation prize of murdering Steve. You have a match with thirty participants... it can end with twenty-nine losers, or thirty winners. I know which result I would prefer.

MD: That seems overly optimistic.

ZS: I wouldn’t be promoting the event if I didn’t believe it. Just look at my last championship reign... every defence was designed to build up my challengers. I would like to think it succeeded.

MD: Yes, Brendan Harding just-

ZS: J-RoK Visual Kei AND XHF tag champion, Harding is having a banner year.

MD: I thought your defence against him was an easy J-RoK Match of the Year contender until the unfortunate ending.

ZS: Thank you – and yes, the Fox finish was regrettable. We have enough history that I understand where Fox was coming from, but if he hadn’t involved himself, Brendan might have added the crown to his resume. I guess we’ll never know. Now I am not taking credit for his many title victories, I think its obvious to everyone but his husband that Harding is the future of the sport. I would not be so arrogant as to take credit for his success... but did our match help him? Get a few more championship committee eyes on his work; shave a few months off his inevitable gold rush? I’d like to think so. Harding isn’t alone. Every single person I defended against grew. Johnny Sniper looked like a man who might not be much longer for the Network, but after our contest – the fire in him led him straight to the XHF Hardcore title. Sniper trashed Kane. Sniper could win the rumble. Bone Cold headlined Supremacy. Javier started managing a former X*Crown champion. Off the Wagon not only picked up the Super Duos, but they somehow kept their sponsorship for a few more months. Why even Cross Recoba, who has never been considered a championship contender in his entire existence, is somehow the Hardkore world champion. That is a lot of upward mobility when you consider the common chain being failing to defeat me over a two-month stretch. Rey has more defences, and Dylan is singularly dominant – but when you look at who helped the Network more with the title? I’m quite proud of my rogue’s gallery. All better for having traded blows with me...

MD: I believe Kanyon has been confined to a wheelchair-

ZS: ...Unless Hooters has a ramp, then Curtis is spending less time with the BANG Bros – that’s a win.

MD: That is fair. 

ZS: Though let's be honest, knowing Steve, he'll probably drag poor Kanyon back to the land of the living... just because it is hard for Steve to talk about global events without an entourage.

MS: One might wonder what challengers you’d motivate to new heights with a forth run.

ZS: That would be nice. Unfortunately, my X*Crown days are over.

MD: You put on a super human effort to win the championship back from Steve Awesome, I think many XHF fans were surprised you didn’t pursue Dylan Black following your Supremacy loss.

ZS: The toll that those defences took meant that I was in no shape to properly defend at Supremacy. I couldn’t give it my best, and by the end found myself boxed – not even being involved in the final result. If Dylan wants to show the world he can take me one on one, he has my number. Truth is, I was beat going into that match, but losing specifically to him – that was a victory. I was happy for him. So I didn’t see his win as my loss, and wasn’t about to start plotting my revenge. I’m a very different man than the one who entered the End of Days tournament. Since October of 2022, I have been humbled – both physically and mentally.

MD: You certainly have connected with the audience in a way that your previous years didn’t.

ZS: At first I found the cheers to be distracting, but it has been nice seeing how the other half lives. Honestly, without the crowd support, I doubt I could have lasted this long. The past seven months have been amongst the most trying times in my career, and I wouldn’t have gotten through them alone.

MD: Did you expect the switch in perception? What do you attribute the change in attitude too.

ZS: Wanting to stab Steve is infinitely relatable.

MD (laughing): I have that shirt!

ZS (chuckle): It’s one of our best sellers. No, no, the audience was firmly against me with Steve the first time. Being the MORE HATED villain was actually a perverse source of pride for me. No, the shift happened during EOD, just seeing the levels of abuse I was putting myself through for a shot at revenge, I think spoke to the XHF fans. Again I wasn't after the crown, that came as a result of a different journey.  So even if they liked Steve, my drive was genuine...

MD: The subsequent crown reign didn’t hurt-

ZS: It was oddly feel good. Not so much for me, as I got broken down – but the quality of the matches, of my opponents, the fact that it tried to be inclusive with the entire Network? There were a lot of factors. I try to operate under a certain set of ethics, and the optics aren’t always with me. If you look at my time with Syndicate, I was some sort of monster oppressing the working class heroes. I’m no different now. Only when those same heroes were revealed to be hate mongering MAGA parasites, suddenly my persona became easier to understand. Basic humanism. So I might use a knife on a man when anyone else would go for a headlock, which might be extreme, but in my mind, the man is asking for it. The audience seem to agree with me at the moment. Just look at their reactions to Fox, and his subsequent fall from grace. It’s easy to be the “good guy” when everyone loves you – it’s when the chips are down that we see a person’s true colours. Which Fox has revealed.  Me? I’ve always acted the same. Genuine.

MD: You haven’t been stabbing as many people.

ZS: The blade man is a nickname my opponents use to disparage my wrestling ability. Rather than acknowledge a dominating run based on a shrewd mind for the canvas, they would be quick to point out that without a weapon, my move set is lacking. I concede that I will never be able to hit the same high spots as a Yuki Sakaraba, nor match the amateur grappling of a Random McConalogue... but you don’t win the Rumble, or even End of Days on weapons alone. So during this last crown run, I tried to show the many facets of my skillset... I like to think the audience appreciated it. Even if the strong style on display effectively ended my career...

MD: You really don’t think you have another crown in you?

ZS: When I lost the crown, I had nothing left to give. Yet three months later, I still find myself constantly being blown up or having buildings dropped on me like I’m the wicked witch of the west.

MD: Venom claims that the knife that initially injured your arm in End of Days, for the cast that you’re still sporting, was doctored.

ZS: I have heard that.

MD: Venom doesn’t believe that you’re injured.

ZS: He seems to think it was some sort of elaborate ruse to trick El Rey into getting murdered by PRICE.

MD: And?

ZS: And? El Rey doesn’t need my help to get on anyone’s bad side, let alone that of PRICE. The boy is a prodigy.

MD: But are you faking the injuries?

ZS: Now that is a question. And while I am known for my elaborate ribs, that particular scenario seems a little difficult to pull off. When I took the X*Crown from Rey, he had already burnt bridges with his family to the point where he’d moved to the United Kingdom in fear for his safety. I found Rey in Infinite Pro Wrestling in a bad way, and did everything in my power to rebuild his confidence. When that promotion left the XHF, it made travelling to the UK unnecessarily difficult, which ended the relationship – otherwise I have zero doubt that Rey would have brought them the crown. Point is, under my watchful eye, Rey flourished – and Venom can’t stand it. So the father gives his son a junior title as a coming home prize, and everything is peachy, right? Wrong. What kind of gift is a junior title for an X*Crown great! All it did was limit Rey’s opportunities, since we all know he can win anything he wants. If Venom wants to play the overprotective parental prick, that’s fine – but that is all it is, a play. I didn’t see Venom running to poor Rey’s aid during the boy’s incredibly bloody defence against me. And Rey sure as hell wasn’t hiding from ME in Britain.

MD: So where is Venom’s anger coming from?

ZS: You tell me. Because the matches that GUNS has put me through since Supremacy? Venom is overcompensating for something.

MD: Magnus and Venom are certainly make your commissioner runs look dignified.

ZS: I know, right? Now, I love wrestling. You don’t go through this kind of abuse if you don’t have a deep love for the sport – but that last X*Crown run damn near killed me, and the subsequent GUNS contracts have pushed me right over the edge.

MD: Based on how you came back from Overheated with End of Days, I think many saw you returning the Supremacy recipe at this Rumble.

ZS: Venom. Kris Quake. Randy Angel. Marty Donovan. Bloodied Fox. I’ve lost more matches in the past three months, than I have in my entire XHF career. These are losses to people I find exceedingly distasteful. Do you think I would lay down for them, if I were physically capable of putting up a fight?

MD: You couldn’t have faked that Fox match-

ZS: No, I couldn’t. I mean look at me – do these injuries look fake to you?

MD: No, you seem to be in real pain.

ZS: Exactly. And I’m not Peona – getting beat up, isn’t my idea of a good time. So I don’t know what Venom’s game is, or what is lacing what he’s smoking, but the scenario where I’m playing a long con to teach Rey a lesson? Nonsensical. I like Rey, but there are easier ways to teach. That being said, I certainly hope your readers continue to follow GUNS. I have a feeling that before the season is all over; the founders will reap what they sow.

MD: Speaking of GUNS management you don’t get along with, we were all surprised to see Magnus enter the Rumble.

ZS: I give him credit for delusion. Magnus clearly doesn’t realize just how many XHF stars he has rubbed the wrong way over the years.

MD: Were you surprised?

ZS: Not really, the moment that Fury entered the Rumble, Magnus couldn’t help himself. Every convention we go to there are always a few dozen fans trying to get their Yaoi art autographed, not to mention the tombs of slash fiction that the XHF fans write about the duo’s romantic adventures. They have their own reddit. No kink shaming on my part, but personally, when one spouse leaves their partner to die inside a bear, that seems toxic enough that I find the “will they, won’t they” conversations to be offensive. To my thinking, Magnus is very lucky that Fury hasn’t taken out a restraining order yet – but for a chance to lock-up with his ex-husband? You couldn’t keep Magnus away from the rumble. Still, he’ll be thrown out of there so quickly that it might set a record.

MD: Our publication is actually doing a piece on the rise of MAURY slash fiction.

ZS: I really wouldn’t encourage it.

MD: If you don’t like Magnus’ chances, which wrestlers are on your radar? Who does the Final Boss favour for the 2023 Rumble?

ZS: I have a soft spot for Death Trap, obviously, and am sorry that Mistress won’t be joining him for the fracas. From what I’ve seen this is a notably smaller field than past years, still with talent of Copycat and Rey’s calibre, Dylan Black will be kept honest.

MD: You think the champion will retain?

ZS: Just to mock Rob Arnold’s accomplishment. Who could blame Dylan? Not I.

MD: So you really don’t think highly of your chances...

ZS: You have seen the state of me. Given my current injuries, even a career pencil pusher like Recoba could get lucky at my expense. That would not be appealing. No, I didn’t sign up for a reason.

MD: But you did sign up.  You’re on the official entrant list.

ZS: A clerical oversight, I assure you. My fans can look forwards to another round of Harding and me on the undercard, but when it comes to the Rumble-

MD: -see right here.

ZS: Is this some April Fool’s joke?

MD: They released it a week ago.

ZS: That... can’t be. I specifically did not put my name into contention.

MD: I thought you knew-

ZS: I... excuse me. There has clearly been a miscommunication with event staff, which needs to be corrected posthaste. I hope your readers enjoy the Rumble, regardless of the line-up, and I thank you for your time.

Though visibly struggling to move from his hospital bed, at this point in the interview Zoran Sainovic excused himself. Perhaps Bloodied Fox’s threats of further assault suddenly became a reality? Whatever the case, the former champion was clearly upset by this entry revelation, and watching him try to hurry from the room with a crutch was difficult. It was plain to this interviewer that the Final Boss who could barely move was not the same man that captured the XHF’s imagination at End of Days – and given the state of his injuries, I would strongly question his appearance in this Rumble.

---

“Not to brag, but my Dad owns a wrestling company, and he’s getting on in years.”

On Atlanta’s Broad Street boardwalk, El Rey is attempting to pick up chicks in a way that suggests he always fails up. Having cornered two women just outside the flatiron building at the corner of Peachtree street, the youngest X*Crown champion in XHF history is pulling out all the stops.

El Rey:
So do either of you want to touch my junior heavyweight championship?

“REY!!!”

That voice sounds familiar.

El Rey looks down Luckie Street to find the horribly mangled corpse that is his mentor, Zoran Sainovic, hobbling in his general direction.

El Rey (distracted):
Don’t let the junior line fool you, there’s enough of me to go around...

Zoran does not look happy. Did the knife-wielding maniac figure out that Rey switched their names on the Rumble application? Oh no! Could that actually happen? Yeah, Zoran is paranoid enough to blame poor Rey for this harmless prank. Maybe he can throw his Dad under the bus? Yeah, that’s the ticket.

El Rey (lost in thought):
I’m flattered girls, but I’m going to have to take a rain check.

El Rey knew this day would come, he just always assumed that Zoran would die first. The dude is old. Perhaps they have bonded enough over their training that Zoran will let bygones be bygones, and chalk it up to a harmless prank? He is a good guy now, right? Yes, there is only one thing for it.

El Rey (waving):
Hi Zoran! Great to see-

Before the old man can get into stabbing range, El Rey runs away.

Did the chicks see? He’d hate for this to hurt his game.

The scene fades with El Rey running off into the sunset to the gentle tunes of Talk Talk, with The Final Boss slowly chasing after him.

Not unlike a Warner Bros cartoon.