The Fresh Prince of Intergalactic Planet 97 (rumble 4)
Apr 17, 2023 1:57:12 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, bloodiedfox, and 1 more like this
Post by Steve Awesome on Apr 17, 2023 1:57:12 GMT -5
We open in a dark dingy dungeon as Steve Awesome slowly wakes up, in pain, confused, and hungry.
“What the hell!? Where am I!?”
Suddenly a light engulfed the room and a few guards entered the jail room alongside Todd Lerr.
Todd Lerr: Welcome to Intergalactic Planet 97. I’m surprised you stayed unconscious the whole space ship ride but I must say the silence was Divine.
Steve gripped the bars until his knuckles turned white and he glared at his capturers.
“I don’t know what you have planned but it’s not going to work and-“
Todd Lerr: Oh shut up.
Todd blasts Steve with a taser gun and Steve falls to the ground twitching.
Todd Lerr: You will do what I tell you. Open the cell.
The guards do his bidding and open the door to the cell while Steve is still down.
Todd Lerr: You are on the set of our newest television show. You have a big role to play. Bring him.
It takes several baby alien guards but they manage to drag Steve out with them.
You hear a familiar bass line.
Will Smith has reshot the intro frame for frame.
🎼Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town calledBel-Air Intergalactic Planet 97🎼
THE FRESH PRINCE OF INTERGALACTIC PLANET 97
The scene opens in the original set they had on the show. We find Will Smith talking to someone on the phone.
Will Smith: Okay, so instead of being a contributing member of society, we are gonna ditch school and get some honies! Oh wait Shh shhh…”
Just then Uncle Philbot comes rolling in. A robot that looks like a cross between the robot from the Jetsons and James Avery. It turns and looks at Will and speaks in a monotone robotic voice.
Uncle Philbot: ~*Will do not do anything stupid while I think you are doing good. The outcome will make me very angry with you.*~
Will Smith: Oh hey Uncle Philbot, I’m not trying to make you upset. I want to overachieve and be studious.”
Uncle Philbot: ~*That is——loading please wait…….My boy!*~
After Uncle Philbot leaves, Will goes back to the phone.
Will Smith: We skip school and get the honies!
*laugh track*
Later in the show Uncle Philbot catches Will and his friend in a bad part of town and one of the honies is having a drug overdose.
Uncle Philbot: ~*WIIILLLLLLLLLL!*~
Todd Lerr: CUT! Okay now take Will out and put Steve in. Steve, your motivation in this scene is you are about to get brutally assaulted by an angry robot. It hurts. Really bad. You don’t know why he just doesn’t stop beating you but you know it’s all for your own good.”
Steve stands on his marker next to the hulking Uncle Philbot and his face turns pale.
“Wut?”
Todd Lerr: ACTION!
Sure enough the robot just started beating the hell out of Steve until he woke up again back in his dirty cell. In pain, confused and hungry.
~
“I gotta find a way out of here.”
Steve said, alone in the dark.
“But how? I’m stuck in a cell on an entire other planet.”
His stomach growled. They haven’t fed him in days. Just then he looked in front of him and there was a biscuit on a plate that seemed to show up out of nowhere.
“Maybe I’ve finally gone crazy? But I’m definitely going to eat that mystery biscuit.”
Steve almost salivated as he reached forward to grab the food but he was shocked when it pleaded with him to stop.
“Wait! Don’t eat me! It’s me!”
Steve knew that voice. Sure enough this biscuit was being possessed by Spike.
Biscuit Spike: Okay, I don’t know why they made me a biscuit but I’m back because I have to tell you something important.
Steve’s stomach growled and he gave biscuit spike a sniff. Baked fresh.
Biscuit Spike: Things around here may not be what they seem and….did you just break a piece off of me?”
Steve puts the small chunk of biscuit Spike into his mouth. It was so good!!!
Biscuit Spike: I can’t believe this! I come back from Hell to give you some life saving information and you are literally eating me!
“I’m sorry. I’m just soooo hungry.
Biscuit Spike: Oh for the love a-Listen you have to get outside somehow. Once you do that, there will be someone looking at you and they will give you the information you need!
“Okay, got it.”
Steve couldn’t help himself anymore and just completely devoured the biscuit spike.
“Now what was he saying again?”
Just then the guards came walking in to get Steve for today's scenes. Steve goes with them and starts talking to one of the guards.
“Hey man, that’s a nifty looking taser gun. I like the blue color.”
The guard looks generally happy to get a compliment.
Guard: Thanks. I got my wife and my kids' names engraved on the handle.
“Wow that’s cool! Can I see?”
Guard: Welll I’m not supposed to….
“Come on, I’m just a prisoner. You can trust me.”
Guard: Well okay.
The guard hands Steve his taser gun and naturally Steve turns it against the guards.
Guard: *sniff* Betrayal hurts….
The few guards go down after being charged with electricity and Steve goes running in search of an exit.
After a whole chase sequence complete with that multiple doors gag where they all kept running in and out of the doors while being joined by two bears on Unicycles, a zombie Ronald Reagan, the Pussycat Dolls, and Frankie Muniz for some reason.
Steve finally lost the guards and found the exit door. He bolted out of it and took his first breath of fresh air in what felt like weeks. And that’s when he noticed the “person” waiting for him.
It was the Statue of Liberty!
Steve drops to his knees and shouts toward the heavens.
“GAHHHHH IT WAS EARTH ALL ALONG! YOU TRICKED ME YOU DAMN DIRTY STINKIN BABIES!!!! GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
~
STEVE AWESOME
FACE OF THE FRANCHISE
“Now when I say I’m going to win the rumble.”
Steve slowly nods his head as the promo scene opens.
“I absolutely mean it.”
“It’s not my destiny to win. I don’t have some God like premonition. It’s just the idea of stepping in the ring against thirty plus wrestlers and me coming out the winner in the end just sounds like one of the many, many, many great things that I’m capable of.”
He beams confidence as he smirked.
“And sure, anything can happen. Someone could eliminate me or I slip and eliminate myself or all the other jabroni’s in the rumble could work together and eliminate me so they all can have a chance to win it themselves.”
Steve shook his head.
“But I don’t allow myself to think about all those other things. Nah, I’m laser focused on the goal at hand. Knock out everyone in my way, especially Dylan Black, become the XCrown Champion and never give him a rematch.”
Steve grins and rubs his palms together in anticipation.
“It’s gonna be sweet.”
“What will be even better is once I win the Rumble and become the third ever three time champion, I’ll have done it without having to sacrifice the nCw championship. Years ago I put another dead companies title the TXA title into the crown and I lost. It may not mean much to other people, but I let down people that I respected when that happened. I disappointed people that helped give me my start and that’s always been a black cloud over my head that I regret.”
He pointed to himself. No smirk or grin, just a serious statement.
“I refuse to let that happen to the nCw Title. Even if I win it, I can’t let all the hard work that everyone involved become an asterisk in the history of the crown.”
Steve took a step forward, eyes locked on the camera lens.
“So that’s why I have to find another way. That’s why I have to win the Rumble. So I’m not thinking about any other outcome. There is no other possible way for this Rumble to end that doesn’t involve that XCrown Title being draped over my shoulder.
So when my music hits, I’m coming in like a buzzsaw. I’m going to cut through everyone it takes, I’m going to do whatever is necessary. If I gotta cheat, well then you best believe I’m going to be out there bending the rules.”
Because at the end of the day if your not here to be the XCrown Champion, if you aren’t here to be the absolute best then get the hell out of my way because you have no chance against at the Rumble.
“I’m here to be the Face of the Franchise, the best in the triple dubs, that’s whole wide world of course. I’m here to be the top dawg, leading man of the entire XHF and I’m here at the Rumble to take back what should have been mine all along at Supremacy.”
“At the Rumble….I’m here to win!”
Crotch Chop
Fade
~
Steve stormed back into the studio, careful to kick every last baby that got in his way as he did so.
He walked right on set, interrupting the entire ordeal.
“I KNOW WHAT YOU DID! I KNOW WERE STILL ON EARTH!”
Steve pointed his Taser Gun right at Todd Lerr.
“I want this all to end! I’m willing to make a deal with you Todd. A little wager. I’ll face you in any kind of game or sport or whatever and if I beat you then you and your species need to leave my planet alone and never come back. But if you win, then I’ll stop fighting you and you can do what you will with Earth.”
Todd considered the offer.
“Okay deal. Except that I won’t be the one competing. Will Smith will. And it will be in the sport that Will has the most experience in. SLAP FIGHT!!!”
Steve looks on in shock but then growls in determination.
~
“WELCOME TO SLAP FIGHT! THIS IS YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING! STEVE AWESOME TAKES ON WILL SMITH IN A SLAP FIGHT WITH WORLDLY CONSEQUENCES!”
Steve and Will both walk up from opposite sides of the stage and meet at the podium. The referee explains the rules.
Commentator 1: Here we go. Looks like Will won the coin toss.
Commentator 2: Typically when a man wins a coin toss that usually means they are gonna go first.
Will warms up and hauls back and slaps the hell out of Steve. Steve staggers back but ultimately stays standing. Steve does a few practice swings and really nails Will but the man who played Muhammad Ali survives his first shot.
Steve and Will continue to trade shots. Their faces swell and bruise and the baby powder flies but neither man goes down.
Commentator 1: The sheer brutality that is happening. What an immense display of tenacity from the hits to the men surviving them.
Commentator 2: They sure are hitting each other a lot!
Both men are completely punch drunk as they trade blows. Steve is slapping his thigh after each slap and Will is reciting lines from Hitch.
Suddenly a man stepped onto the stage. It was Brenden Fraser!!!
Brendan Fraser: Hello everyone. It’s me, Oscar winner for best actor in my work on The Whale. I didn’t have to come here but I wanted to help a special friend of mine.
Brendan winks at Steve.
Brendan Fraser: I just wanted to come here and say that all this slapping and all this violence doesn’t have to be the answer. What if it were possible for Earthlings and Toddlerians to work together in peace and harmony.
Brendan steps forward, arms outstretched.
Brendan Fraser: “Why, I believe if we all came together for the greater good, we could create a world full of love and hope.”
Steve and Todd and everyone all stand in silence as Brendan Fraser’s words about peace and love resonate within them.
Todd Lerr: Meh, it’s more convincing and heart warming when he’s fat.
“See! That’s what I’ve been saying all along.”
Brendan sighs.
Brendan Fraser: Well I tried. Here Steve, hit him with this!”
Brendan hands Steve a small hammer and much to his joyous surprise, it was possessed by Spike.
Hammer Spike: Heh hehe check it out Steve, im a “ball” “peen” hammer!
“Heh heh heh that’s hilarious”
Steve then blasted Will Smith in the side of the head with the hammer and he fell down, possibly dead. But definitely unconscious. Wich means STEVE WON!!!!
Todd Lerr curses and stomps and throws a tantrum before he and all his guardsmen beam away from Earth for good.
And thus the Earth was saved.
🎼I pulled up to the house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the babies, "Yo holmes, smell ya later"
I looked at my Earth
It was finally saved
Now I sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air🎼
What a journey. I can’t believe our hero Steve Awesome pulled through. Now he can put all this Oscar nonsense behind him…well until next year…”
“What the hell!? Where am I!?”
Suddenly a light engulfed the room and a few guards entered the jail room alongside Todd Lerr.
Todd Lerr: Welcome to Intergalactic Planet 97. I’m surprised you stayed unconscious the whole space ship ride but I must say the silence was Divine.
Steve gripped the bars until his knuckles turned white and he glared at his capturers.
“I don’t know what you have planned but it’s not going to work and-“
Todd Lerr: Oh shut up.
Todd blasts Steve with a taser gun and Steve falls to the ground twitching.
Todd Lerr: You will do what I tell you. Open the cell.
The guards do his bidding and open the door to the cell while Steve is still down.
Todd Lerr: You are on the set of our newest television show. You have a big role to play. Bring him.
It takes several baby alien guards but they manage to drag Steve out with them.
You hear a familiar bass line.
Will Smith has reshot the intro frame for frame.
🎼Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I'd like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called
THE FRESH PRINCE OF INTERGALACTIC PLANET 97
The scene opens in the original set they had on the show. We find Will Smith talking to someone on the phone.
Will Smith: Okay, so instead of being a contributing member of society, we are gonna ditch school and get some honies! Oh wait Shh shhh…”
Just then Uncle Philbot comes rolling in. A robot that looks like a cross between the robot from the Jetsons and James Avery. It turns and looks at Will and speaks in a monotone robotic voice.
Uncle Philbot: ~*Will do not do anything stupid while I think you are doing good. The outcome will make me very angry with you.*~
Will Smith: Oh hey Uncle Philbot, I’m not trying to make you upset. I want to overachieve and be studious.”
Uncle Philbot: ~*That is——loading please wait…….My boy!*~
After Uncle Philbot leaves, Will goes back to the phone.
Will Smith: We skip school and get the honies!
*laugh track*
Later in the show Uncle Philbot catches Will and his friend in a bad part of town and one of the honies is having a drug overdose.
Uncle Philbot: ~*WIIILLLLLLLLLL!*~
Todd Lerr: CUT! Okay now take Will out and put Steve in. Steve, your motivation in this scene is you are about to get brutally assaulted by an angry robot. It hurts. Really bad. You don’t know why he just doesn’t stop beating you but you know it’s all for your own good.”
Steve stands on his marker next to the hulking Uncle Philbot and his face turns pale.
“Wut?”
Todd Lerr: ACTION!
Sure enough the robot just started beating the hell out of Steve until he woke up again back in his dirty cell. In pain, confused and hungry.
~
“I gotta find a way out of here.”
Steve said, alone in the dark.
“But how? I’m stuck in a cell on an entire other planet.”
His stomach growled. They haven’t fed him in days. Just then he looked in front of him and there was a biscuit on a plate that seemed to show up out of nowhere.
“Maybe I’ve finally gone crazy? But I’m definitely going to eat that mystery biscuit.”
Steve almost salivated as he reached forward to grab the food but he was shocked when it pleaded with him to stop.
“Wait! Don’t eat me! It’s me!”
Steve knew that voice. Sure enough this biscuit was being possessed by Spike.
Biscuit Spike: Okay, I don’t know why they made me a biscuit but I’m back because I have to tell you something important.
Steve’s stomach growled and he gave biscuit spike a sniff. Baked fresh.
Biscuit Spike: Things around here may not be what they seem and….did you just break a piece off of me?”
Steve puts the small chunk of biscuit Spike into his mouth. It was so good!!!
Biscuit Spike: I can’t believe this! I come back from Hell to give you some life saving information and you are literally eating me!
“I’m sorry. I’m just soooo hungry.
Biscuit Spike: Oh for the love a-Listen you have to get outside somehow. Once you do that, there will be someone looking at you and they will give you the information you need!
“Okay, got it.”
Steve couldn’t help himself anymore and just completely devoured the biscuit spike.
“Now what was he saying again?”
Just then the guards came walking in to get Steve for today's scenes. Steve goes with them and starts talking to one of the guards.
“Hey man, that’s a nifty looking taser gun. I like the blue color.”
The guard looks generally happy to get a compliment.
Guard: Thanks. I got my wife and my kids' names engraved on the handle.
“Wow that’s cool! Can I see?”
Guard: Welll I’m not supposed to….
“Come on, I’m just a prisoner. You can trust me.”
Guard: Well okay.
The guard hands Steve his taser gun and naturally Steve turns it against the guards.
Guard: *sniff* Betrayal hurts….
The few guards go down after being charged with electricity and Steve goes running in search of an exit.
After a whole chase sequence complete with that multiple doors gag where they all kept running in and out of the doors while being joined by two bears on Unicycles, a zombie Ronald Reagan, the Pussycat Dolls, and Frankie Muniz for some reason.
Steve finally lost the guards and found the exit door. He bolted out of it and took his first breath of fresh air in what felt like weeks. And that’s when he noticed the “person” waiting for him.
It was the Statue of Liberty!
Steve drops to his knees and shouts toward the heavens.
“GAHHHHH IT WAS EARTH ALL ALONG! YOU TRICKED ME YOU DAMN DIRTY STINKIN BABIES!!!! GAHHHHHHHHH!!!!”
~
STEVE AWESOME
FACE OF THE FRANCHISE
“Now when I say I’m going to win the rumble.”
Steve slowly nods his head as the promo scene opens.
“I absolutely mean it.”
“It’s not my destiny to win. I don’t have some God like premonition. It’s just the idea of stepping in the ring against thirty plus wrestlers and me coming out the winner in the end just sounds like one of the many, many, many great things that I’m capable of.”
He beams confidence as he smirked.
“And sure, anything can happen. Someone could eliminate me or I slip and eliminate myself or all the other jabroni’s in the rumble could work together and eliminate me so they all can have a chance to win it themselves.”
Steve shook his head.
“But I don’t allow myself to think about all those other things. Nah, I’m laser focused on the goal at hand. Knock out everyone in my way, especially Dylan Black, become the XCrown Champion and never give him a rematch.”
Steve grins and rubs his palms together in anticipation.
“It’s gonna be sweet.”
“What will be even better is once I win the Rumble and become the third ever three time champion, I’ll have done it without having to sacrifice the nCw championship. Years ago I put another dead companies title the TXA title into the crown and I lost. It may not mean much to other people, but I let down people that I respected when that happened. I disappointed people that helped give me my start and that’s always been a black cloud over my head that I regret.”
He pointed to himself. No smirk or grin, just a serious statement.
“I refuse to let that happen to the nCw Title. Even if I win it, I can’t let all the hard work that everyone involved become an asterisk in the history of the crown.”
Steve took a step forward, eyes locked on the camera lens.
“So that’s why I have to find another way. That’s why I have to win the Rumble. So I’m not thinking about any other outcome. There is no other possible way for this Rumble to end that doesn’t involve that XCrown Title being draped over my shoulder.
So when my music hits, I’m coming in like a buzzsaw. I’m going to cut through everyone it takes, I’m going to do whatever is necessary. If I gotta cheat, well then you best believe I’m going to be out there bending the rules.”
Because at the end of the day if your not here to be the XCrown Champion, if you aren’t here to be the absolute best then get the hell out of my way because you have no chance against at the Rumble.
“I’m here to be the Face of the Franchise, the best in the triple dubs, that’s whole wide world of course. I’m here to be the top dawg, leading man of the entire XHF and I’m here at the Rumble to take back what should have been mine all along at Supremacy.”
“At the Rumble….I’m here to win!”
Crotch Chop
Fade
~
Steve stormed back into the studio, careful to kick every last baby that got in his way as he did so.
He walked right on set, interrupting the entire ordeal.
“I KNOW WHAT YOU DID! I KNOW WERE STILL ON EARTH!”
Steve pointed his Taser Gun right at Todd Lerr.
“I want this all to end! I’m willing to make a deal with you Todd. A little wager. I’ll face you in any kind of game or sport or whatever and if I beat you then you and your species need to leave my planet alone and never come back. But if you win, then I’ll stop fighting you and you can do what you will with Earth.”
Todd considered the offer.
“Okay deal. Except that I won’t be the one competing. Will Smith will. And it will be in the sport that Will has the most experience in. SLAP FIGHT!!!”
Steve looks on in shock but then growls in determination.
~
“WELCOME TO SLAP FIGHT! THIS IS YOUR MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING! STEVE AWESOME TAKES ON WILL SMITH IN A SLAP FIGHT WITH WORLDLY CONSEQUENCES!”
Steve and Will both walk up from opposite sides of the stage and meet at the podium. The referee explains the rules.
Commentator 1: Here we go. Looks like Will won the coin toss.
Commentator 2: Typically when a man wins a coin toss that usually means they are gonna go first.
Will warms up and hauls back and slaps the hell out of Steve. Steve staggers back but ultimately stays standing. Steve does a few practice swings and really nails Will but the man who played Muhammad Ali survives his first shot.
Steve and Will continue to trade shots. Their faces swell and bruise and the baby powder flies but neither man goes down.
Commentator 1: The sheer brutality that is happening. What an immense display of tenacity from the hits to the men surviving them.
Commentator 2: They sure are hitting each other a lot!
Both men are completely punch drunk as they trade blows. Steve is slapping his thigh after each slap and Will is reciting lines from Hitch.
Suddenly a man stepped onto the stage. It was Brenden Fraser!!!
Brendan Fraser: Hello everyone. It’s me, Oscar winner for best actor in my work on The Whale. I didn’t have to come here but I wanted to help a special friend of mine.
Brendan winks at Steve.
Brendan Fraser: I just wanted to come here and say that all this slapping and all this violence doesn’t have to be the answer. What if it were possible for Earthlings and Toddlerians to work together in peace and harmony.
Brendan steps forward, arms outstretched.
Brendan Fraser: “Why, I believe if we all came together for the greater good, we could create a world full of love and hope.”
Steve and Todd and everyone all stand in silence as Brendan Fraser’s words about peace and love resonate within them.
Todd Lerr: Meh, it’s more convincing and heart warming when he’s fat.
“See! That’s what I’ve been saying all along.”
Brendan sighs.
Brendan Fraser: Well I tried. Here Steve, hit him with this!”
Brendan hands Steve a small hammer and much to his joyous surprise, it was possessed by Spike.
Hammer Spike: Heh hehe check it out Steve, im a “ball” “peen” hammer!
“Heh heh heh that’s hilarious”
Steve then blasted Will Smith in the side of the head with the hammer and he fell down, possibly dead. But definitely unconscious. Wich means STEVE WON!!!!
Todd Lerr curses and stomps and throws a tantrum before he and all his guardsmen beam away from Earth for good.
And thus the Earth was saved.
🎼I pulled up to the house about seven or eight
And I yelled to the babies, "Yo holmes, smell ya later"
I looked at my Earth
It was finally saved
Now I sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-Air🎼
What a journey. I can’t believe our hero Steve Awesome pulled through. Now he can put all this Oscar nonsense behind him…well until next year…”
