A Badman Wonders Where ODS Are Hiding?

[Frank Windsor]

The camera panned up to a close up of Donzig’s face. It wasn’t moving and looked a bit weird. “Doom and gloom, goddamn toil and trouble!!!!” a voice that seemed to be Donzig’s but had a slight accent to it came from it. “I am the Scourge of Mankind and I will stab you in the butt hole with a screw driver if you look at me wrong. I was a really, really, really horrible human being!!! I don’t wear this mask because I’m an ugly git.” The camera moved to a close up of the Wrestle: UK World Champion Crane's face and once again it wasn’t moving and looked really weird. “I AM THE WORLD CHAMPION!!!!” a voice said. “MY MOMMA TOLD ME I WAS!!!!! YOU ARE HURTING MY FEELINGS WAAAAH, WAAAAH!! Where is Katie? I WANT A PRESS CONFERENCE!!! Bring me Katie!!!” The camera pulled back and revealed that it was two cardboard cut-outs of Donzig and Crane; stood beside them was none other than the Bastard World Heavyweight Champion, Frank Windsor. He was stood in jeans and a Galactic Sex Pirates t-shirt. Over his left shoulder was his heavyweight championship belt and over his right shoulder was the Wrestle: UK Tag Championship belt. “I can’t fucking believe that you two punks have fallen so far, well I can really as Crane didn’t have to far to fucking fall,” Frank said. “Thinking that threatening Sean that it would scare him? Do you know who Sean Bean is? If he wasn’t away filming something he’d be at fucking the next show showing you who he fucking is as he doesn’t scare easily. Anyway what’s happening? What’s going on? Is it only Donzig’s insomnia inducing rants going on? Has Lord Ding-Dong finished his little moronic filled chants?” He looked around and heard nothing before he turned towards the camera and focused. “Okay, okay, is that is?” Frank asked. “We’ve fucking had continuous drivel uploaded on the Network by Donzig about his Rumble issues and his little fracas with the Bastard; nicely done my little sausage roll it fucking scared the normal people but won’t do jack shit in the Rumble mate. This does make the world think that the old Scourge of the wrestling world is back but alas it may be a tad fucking late my little buddy. When you were running rampant around NPW you were this monster of sorts but now act like you’ve had your shrunken nut sack bitten off by a ravenous chipmunk. ” Frank looked at the belt on his left shoulder before he continued. “But as much as we’ve all been liking your desperate waste of air time it is a bit apparent that others have been fucking silent,” he continued. “Where have your associates Dumb and Dumber gone? They have been more silent than usual and if they want to take these gold straps off of the Bastards they better start flapping those fucking gums of theirs unless they want to make the usual fucking impression; and that’s of a couple of fucking brain dead morons following some asshole.” He shook his head and looked into the camera lens. “Come on ODS,” Frank smirked as he talked to the camera. “Come on guys, we’ve faced each other so many fucking times and you bitches always seemed to come up a little short. Why do you continue to work with Donnie? Is he paying you guys enough money to be his stooges? He wants you to be his muscle but he doesn’t fucking respect you at all. Maybe the Bastards could hire you to work for them instead, well it would be worth it to see the look on that moronic coward that hides behind you.” He looked at someone off camera and nodded. “And how is it that Donzig gets away with saying that he is going to fucking gouge a Hollywood fucking legend’s eyes?” he asked. “Anyway as much as he wants it to be this is not all about Donzig there are other things to talk about before my allocated camera time comes to an end. Word on the street is that Mister Blood is still trying to push for a Wrestle: UK Commonwealth Championship match at Dominion and still trying to book me in it? Good luck trying to get that belt back from that kid in the crowd; he was faster leaving that arena after the show than Havok is when catering is open.” Frank shrugged his shoulders. “And as I said before I won’t even be in the country for Dominion,” he winked at the camera. “What about our other World Heavyweight Champion? Can we get a round of applause for him? No? What? Why not? Oh that’s right he’s just a fucking pussy that is protected by management instead of being a fucking fighting champion like the others that came before him. Being fed Ronnie Long is nothing and it’ll be funny when the guy fucking beat’s Crane and makes the cock womble go back to the Indies where he thinks he’s this big star. Is HKW still a viable fucking promotion? I am the ONLY World Champion in Wrestle: UK which makes me the Lord of the Rings……….And would make Crane Gollum right? As that little trinket he holds is so fucking precious too him right?” He winked at the camera and walked off.