[New UTs] Yank the cat's tail

[Old Line Jeff]

Frank Wormwood was struggling to keep control of W:UK with Mr. Blood out of action. By the time he realized that somebody ought to ask the New Untouchables why they'd cheated in Jeffrey Daniels' match against Lady Lana, they'd left the building. By the next day, they were headed back to the States. And by the time he managed to set a video conference between them and Archie Rude, it was a couple weeks later.

Yeah, videoconference.  This is going on W:UK's youtube channel, probably.

Archie Rude: Fans and viewers around the world, I've been joined here by The New Untouchables. Jeffrey, Lee, meaning no offense but you guys got off to a rather slow start in the XHF.

Jeffrey and Lee are both grinning, half-jokingly pushing each other to try and take up more of the screen.

Jeffrey Daniels: It's in the past, Arch!  It's all in the past. I didn't win that battle royal, but I got two eliminations and put the W:UK on notice, the New Untouchables aren't in pin-me-pay-me mode anymore! That's all there is to it! I hope everybody got to see the ref raise my hand, because you're gonna be seeing a lot more of that in the future!

Rude:  Well frankly, Lady Lana seemed to have your number before Lee got involved in the match.

Jeffrey: Number, numbers, man.  Numbers are a kind of statistic, and the only thing worse than lies is damn lies and the only thing worse than damn lies is statistics. You want to know what matters?

Jeffrey shifts into a fake-deep, resonant, ring-announcer kind of voice.

Jeffrey: Here is your winner, as a result of a pinfall! Representing the NEEWWWW Untouchables!  JYYYYEFFERY! DAAAAAAAANIELS!

As Jeffrey raises his arms in celebration, Lee Scott Rothlesberger uses that as a chance to slip in front of him.

Lee Scott Rothlesberger: There's a couple things you gotta keep in mind here, Archie. First of all, we're the New Untouchables. And what do you know about the Untouchables? They're not nice guys. They're cool dudes. They're some of the most talented wrestlers to ever lace up the boots.  But they're not nice.

Jeffrey: Superkick to the back of the head, bro!

Lee R.: And you know what Arch, let me be just a little bit srs here.

(Yes, he pronounced it "sers")

Lee R.: Jeffrey was gonna be the bad guy against Lady Lana no matter what he did. Win or lose, good match or bad match, sportsmanlike or cheating. So why not cheat? What's the drawback? Where's the downfall?

Lee sends a dramatic look at Jeffrey, who responds with an exaggerated shrug.

Rude: So are we going to be seeing this new attitude of yours at the Revolution Tag Tournament?

Jeffrey: You mean are we gonna try as opposed to just show up and collect a paycheck?

Rude: Well, are you?

Lee R.: Like, duh, bro.

Silence.

Jeffrey: Was there anything else?

Rude: Um... no, actually.

Jeffrey: K.

End.