A Shitty Promo (J-Rok vs HKW)
Aug 4, 2023 22:05:39 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Kira Izumi, and 4 more like this
Post by Venom 🕷 on Aug 4, 2023 22:05:39 GMT -5
UGH!
Rings out first before the screen lights up. That is followed up before we hear the sounds of water splashing. We open up tight on the face of the two-time former Super Duos Champion. Sweat rolls down his strained face. He lets out a grunt and speaks.
Quake: It’s finally happened. The Monopoly has met his match. No. Not these WUK guys were facing.
Randy yells from a distance away.
Randy: Hardkore World.
Quake: What?
Randy: We’re facing guys from Hardkore World not WUK.
Quake: Ugh. Even worse. No. I met my match late last night after a night on the town. One too many Super Sake Bombs had me feeling some sort of way.
Quake reaches up and wipes away sweat from his face and grunts before continuing.
Quake: On the drive home I told our driver we needed to make a stop. It’s a stop many have made on a boozed guided night. The infamous killer, Taco Bell.
The sound of a fart rings out.
Quake: Thanks to the killer Taco Bell the Monopoly isn’t the Mental Murderer right now. No. Instead, the Emperor of Emperor’s has been bowing down to the porcelain throne. The Monopoly has been glued to this thing for hours.
Quake let’s out a loud grunt and another splashing of water breaks out.
Quake: It is safe to say the Monopoly is off his game right now. Don’t fret, though, Off the Wagon fans. The Mental Murderer may have lost this battle, but he will indeed be ready for the next battle. The WUK guys…
Randy: Hardkore World.
Quake: …Hardkore World guys will not know what hit them. They’re not facing Sky Force. They’re not facing those swindlers the Archfiends. No. They’re facing the greatest team that Japan has ever produced.
Randy: They’re not facing Super Frenimies.
Quake: They’re facing us! The team that has won the Super Duos Championship twice. The team that was the XHF Tag Team Champions just recently. The team that dominated the GUNS Tag Team Division for nearly all of season 3! They’re facing Off the Wagon, and they have no chance because we have full hotels on Park Place and Boardwalk so they will not pass go. They will not collect $200. They will instead head straight to the losers circle while our hands are held high!
Quake’s face skews and his stomach gargles.
Quake: But first, I must recover from that Taco Bell.
Randy: So good going down, so bad coming out.
Water splashes and we cut as sweat continues to pour down Quake’s face.
Rings out first before the screen lights up. That is followed up before we hear the sounds of water splashing. We open up tight on the face of the two-time former Super Duos Champion. Sweat rolls down his strained face. He lets out a grunt and speaks.
Quake: It’s finally happened. The Monopoly has met his match. No. Not these WUK guys were facing.
Randy yells from a distance away.
Randy: Hardkore World.
Quake: What?
Randy: We’re facing guys from Hardkore World not WUK.
Quake: Ugh. Even worse. No. I met my match late last night after a night on the town. One too many Super Sake Bombs had me feeling some sort of way.
Quake reaches up and wipes away sweat from his face and grunts before continuing.
Quake: On the drive home I told our driver we needed to make a stop. It’s a stop many have made on a boozed guided night. The infamous killer, Taco Bell.
The sound of a fart rings out.
Quake: Thanks to the killer Taco Bell the Monopoly isn’t the Mental Murderer right now. No. Instead, the Emperor of Emperor’s has been bowing down to the porcelain throne. The Monopoly has been glued to this thing for hours.
Quake let’s out a loud grunt and another splashing of water breaks out.
Quake: It is safe to say the Monopoly is off his game right now. Don’t fret, though, Off the Wagon fans. The Mental Murderer may have lost this battle, but he will indeed be ready for the next battle. The WUK guys…
Randy: Hardkore World.
Quake: …Hardkore World guys will not know what hit them. They’re not facing Sky Force. They’re not facing those swindlers the Archfiends. No. They’re facing the greatest team that Japan has ever produced.
Randy: They’re not facing Super Frenimies.
Quake: They’re facing us! The team that has won the Super Duos Championship twice. The team that was the XHF Tag Team Champions just recently. The team that dominated the GUNS Tag Team Division for nearly all of season 3! They’re facing Off the Wagon, and they have no chance because we have full hotels on Park Place and Boardwalk so they will not pass go. They will not collect $200. They will instead head straight to the losers circle while our hands are held high!
Quake’s face skews and his stomach gargles.
Quake: But first, I must recover from that Taco Bell.
Randy: So good going down, so bad coming out.
Water splashes and we cut as sweat continues to pour down Quake’s face.
