Mouse Party

[salfordsquid]

(The camera fades into the serene setting of the Seven Seas Lagoon, where the wrestling ring stands in stark contrast to the tranquil waters. The Salford Squid, Callum Cornwall, steps into view, wearing an England World Cup kit.)

Callum Cornwall: Well, well, well... What do we have here? Tinto N' Marty's Mouse Party, they call it. A gathering of the absurd, a carnival of cartoons, and quite possibly the most ludicrous event I've ever encountered in my career. I mean, seriously, a wrestling ring plonked in the middle of this picturesque lagoon? It's almost as if the wrestling gods themselves looked down and said, 'Let's throw these poor souls into a mess that even we can't fathom.'

(He chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief.)

Callum Cornwall: Now, you might be wondering why I would agree to such a preposterous booking. Oh, don't get me wrong; it's not because I have any interest in the whimsical escapades or making Tinto happy. No, no, no. This isn't about birthday wishes or merry-making. It isn’t even about the title opportunity, though I do intend to take back my California championship. Rather, this is about vengeance, about retribution for a debt that's owed!

(His tone turns colder, his eyes narrowing.)

Callum Cornwall: Marty Donovan, you think I've forgotten? You think time has healed the wounds you inflicted upon my idol, Syberus? You stole the Hardkore World title from him, and you tarnished his legacy. For that, there is no forgiveness, no mercy. And now, here we stand on the cusp of your little party, your little spectacle, and I see an opportunity to make you pay.

(He steps closer to the water's edge, his tattoos seeming to pulse with his growing intensity.)

Callum Cornwall: You want to risk ruining your own birthday, Marty? You want to see the chaos unfold? I’m sure you have some plan to screw me over already. Fine, let's make a deal. Name me the first entrant in that ridiculous rumble. Throw me in the deep end, surrounded by your band of misfits and fools. Because I'll tell you something, Marty – I won't just survive; I'll thrive!

(His voice rises, a fire burning in his eyes.)

Callum Cornwall: Nineteen other wrestlers? I don't care if it's nineteen or ninety-nine! Each one will feel the grasp of The Salford Squid, the relentless fury that seeks to drag them down, over that top rope, and into the abyss of defeat. I will dismantle every contender, throw them aside like discarded toys. That includes your future father-in-law. You’re not going to just sit there and watch me choke the life out of him, right? Be a man and swim on over to the ring. Fight me one on one. You keep dodging a match in Hardkore World, perhaps all it will take to find your courage is Olivia’s tears.

Callum Cornwall: Marty, I’m sure you have some witty comeback, but remember this – I'm not just fighting for a chance at gold. I’m righting a wrong. This is for Manchester. This is for Syberus. I'm fighting to show the world that The Salford Squid is a force to be reckoned with, a force that even the most absurd of events can't contain. So, Marty, you want a birthday to remember? You got it.

(With that, Callum Cornwall turns and walks away.)