Mouse Party Hardy Marty [FML SSS]
Aug 20, 2023 22:58:53 GMT -5
Dave D-Flipz, Venom 🕷, and 5 more like this
Post by flo on Aug 20, 2023 22:58:53 GMT -5
You have once again gone down a YouTube rabbit hole that started with a Paul Damixie music video - before quickly V-lining to pseudo-snuff skateboarder fails. A Blockbuster promotional video for the Blair Witch Project? Stars that can confirm Lanny Poffo's length? There is genuine concern that your algorithms might have syphilis. You should probably set your computer on fire to try to make a clean break, but while you contemplate how to best go about it- you reach the internet's rock bottom.
The title card appears in the hands of an NFL legend, as Dan Marino spins the cardboard sign like it was a pigskin. The camera SMASH ZOOMS in and out - FLORIDA MAN LIVE! FLORIDA MAN LIVE! FLORIDA MAN LIVE! It's really annoying. The colours start to change too. Red. Green. Red. Green. FLORIDA MAN LIVE! FLORIDA MAN LIVE! FLORIDA MAN LIVE! FLORIDA MAN LIVE! ...just often enough for the epileptic kids to lose their shit. Y'all know who you are! ...That ought to make the Pokemon fans in the audience happy.
Those audience members that aren't now twitching on the floor in a pool of their own sick, are treated to another SMASH ZOOM! As we cut from Dan Marino's mad fidget spinner skills to the live feed of your friendly neighbourhood Floridian who sits next to Gazoo on a Expedition Everest cart. A GOPro has been duct taped to the lap bar that prevents the two men from being decapitated, or hopefully falling out. You're not entirely sure the dwarf of the duo makes the height requirement, but it pays to be friends with Marty Donovan. At least that's what the Epcot Mafia told the teenage supervisor that tried to height discriminate.
Florida Man:
WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-
Gazoo (sticking out tongue):
Wasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss-
Florida Man (wants to stick out tongue, but his face is a mask):
ssssssssssssssssssup!
Gazoo:
ssss-
Florida Man (cutting it off):
Florida Nation! It is once again time for FML! What's our mantra?
Gazoo:
F.M.L!!!!
Florida Man:
Now my boi Marty is in the middle of planning the best birthday party ever for him and his dwarf sidekick, Tinto. It might be a rite of passage into manhood where they finally paint Tinto a specific colour. I'm guessing blue?
Gazoo:
You never throw me any parties.
Florida Man:
It might be a child. Point is, Marty has his hands so tied right now - he doesn't have time to promote Disney 24/7 the way he normally does. So in order to help him out, I figured we'd dedicate this episode of Florida Man Live to helping promote tourism for the House of Mouse!
Somewhere in the theme park a chill runs down the promoter's spine.
Florida Man:
So we came up with a special segment.
SMASH CUT!
Dan Marino spinning another title card.
CARD: WHAT IS THE BEST FOOD TO EAT ON EXPEDITION EVEREST?
SMASH CUT!
...Back to the ride.
Florida Man:
If you're anything like me you hate spending hard earned money-
Gazoo:
*SNORT*
Florida Man:
You hate spending TIME procuring delicious treats, only to lose them because your stomach couldn't handle the vertigo, G-force, smells, grease... flu from being around so many dang tots? Like if its hard to five finger discount a chilli dog, I don't want it flying away or being spit up. So since I'm in town anyway to win the Seven Seas Skirmish, the Epcot Mafia decided to help y'all out by running a little test........ what is the best food to eat on Expedition Everest? Good food, and good company. What could go wrong?
Gazoo and Florida Man both produce their Mickey Pretzels.
Florida Man:
Ride one. This salted Mickey shape bread stick!
The duo begin eating their pretzels as the ride begins- their hands fly around a little, but not hard enough to keep them from getting the salty treats in their mouths.
Florida Man:
I think we have a winner-
Gazoo:
HAAAAAACK-caaaa-cuuuu-
Uh oh, Gazoo seems to be choking on his pretzel. Florida Man doesn't have that problem, since his mask doesn't actually have a mouth hole - so his eating is not unlike Cookie Monster. As Florida tries to perform the Heimlich maneuver while pinned down by a metal bar, we...
SMASH CUT.
Florida Man:
Solids might not be our best bet for on-ride consumption.
The cut takes us back to the starting position of Expedition Everest, where Gazoo is quite pale. Both men hold up dole whips.
Florida Man:
Aloha! We got these soft serves from Aloha Isle... it was a total bitch getting them back to Expedition Everest before they melted. I gave them the same chances I give Joe Nobody in the skirmish. Exhausted before he even gets to the ring... still... whatever they put in these things, they are still in one piece. No choking hazard there...
Gazoo snarls, rubbing his throat in pain. Before he can respond, however, the ride starts.
Florida Man:
Round 2!
It starts off slowly enough.
Gazoo:
This is good-
Florida Man:
Yeah, it's actually working-
Then it speeds up - and within seconds, the pineapple ice cream flies back - hitting a number of other passengers in the face. The Epcot Mafia look less upset from their dairy assault than the fact that there food has gone to waste.
SMASH CUT!
This time the two men are sporting Mickey Premium Ice Cream bars.
Gazoo:
The hard chocolate making the Mickey impression will keep the ice cream from putting out another eye-
Florida Man:
Genius! (the ride starts up) ROUND 3!
They both dig into their ice cream bars. The chocolate cracks.
Gazoo:
This doesn't maintain the kind of structural integrity I was expecting...
Florida Man:
Quick eat faster, before we get to the next corner-
They plough through those ice cream bars-
Gazoo (grabbing skull in agony):
ICE CREAM HEADACHE!
Florida Man (holding temple like it's the only thing keeping his face together):
Oooooooooooooh.... this is the worst pain ever...... way worse than anything in Spike Kane's offence...
As the two men writhe around like they were having death spasms, the sympathetic editor...
SMASH CUTS.
Florida Man (ride starts up again):
Round 4! Nothing like a giant cinnamon roll, which we picked up at Gaston's Tavern to hit the spot-
Gazoo (holding his throat):
Gaaaaaaaaaach-
Florida Man:
What, again?
Coming to his choking manager's aid, Florida Man busts out a cup of LeFou’s Brew - only to have the apple slushy fly out of the cup onto the people behind them.
SMASH CUT.
Florida Man:
At the foodcart by Adventureland, you can pick up these tasty cheeseburger spring rolls. I'm confident in ROUND 5!
The two men start digging into their cheeseburger spring rolls.
Gazoo (chewing):
Little gross-
Florida Man (using a mallet to force the food through his mask):
You aren't choking, we aren't burning anyone, no ice cream headaches- this might be perfect.
SMASH CUT.
Outside of Expedition Everest, our dynamic duo violently vomit.
SMASH CUT.
The Epcot Mafia are once again strapped into Expedition Everest, holding some mouth watering chicken and beef bowls.
Florida Man:
Round 6! These bowls from Animal Kingdom's Satu'li Canteen look far more appetizing than that last dang atrocity. So go to the Animal Kingdom with an empty stomach, because these chicken and beef dishes are at the bottom of the dang food chain!
Gazoo:
Fortunately, after the Big Mac spring roll, I now have an empty stomach.
Florida Man:
It's a Disney miracle! (ride starts) Dig in!
As the duo are shaken about by Expedition Everest, the food in their dishes starts to fall out. They are able to get a few forkfuls of protein, but the majority of their food tumbles out.
SMASH CUT!
The duo begin to eat Ohana Bread Pudding, but it doesn't take long before Florida Man stabs himself in the eye with a spoonful of mock-Polynesian desert.
SMASH CUT!
The ride joins in progress, as Florida Man throws a corn dog nugget forward - only for it to fly backwards into his mouth. Gazoo tries to copy him, only for the nugget to fly into Florida Man's mouth as well. The two then proceed to have a harmless food fight with the corn dog nuggets, until one of them gets inhaled up Florida Man's nose and he begins choking this time.
SMASH CUT!
Colourful ice shavings that look like the Epcot Mafia are slurped up by Epcot's favourite sons. Minus all the food stains they are covered in.
Florida Man:
Round 46. Kakigori Shaved Ice from the fabulous Kabuki Cafe. ...It was a little tough getting it here from the Japanese pavilion.
Gazoo (rubbing stomach):
So full.
Florida Man:
Yes, we have eaten so much this afternoon that I had to roll Gaz over there.
Gazoo (dirty look):
You were standing on me, Flo.
Florida Man:
Yes Gaz, I learned that trick from Seal.
Gazoo (looking at the ice shaving green dwarf in his hand):
I don't know about this Flo... we haven't been having much luck with cold foods.
Florida Man:
Don't sweat it, Gaz, this has alcohol in it! That will warm us up!
Gazoo (chugging his ice shavings):
Why didn't we start with this?
Florida Man (pulling his mask up slightly to chug his own):
We needed to fill time-
The ride starts.
Gazoo:
I think we have a winner.
Florida Man:
Agreed.
Wait for it.
Gazoo (holding head like the end of Scanners):
AAAAAAAAH!
Florida Man (holding temple like the end of Scanners III):
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Gazoo:
THE PAIN!
Florida Man:
I CAN'T SEE!
Gazoo:
My tears... they taste like... cheeseburger springroll.
Florida Man:
No, Gaz!
The Epcot Mafia throw up on one another.
Fortunately Expedition Everest is quite fast, so the vomit actually hits the patrons in seats behind them.
SMASH CUT!
Security escort our heroes away from Expedition Everest.
Florida Man:
Marty Donovan is going to hear about this!
Gazoo:
And to think we're (belch) here trying to help Disney. You ingrates!
Our duo land hard on the pavement.
Florida Man (rolling over to his GOPro):
Well there you have it. Adding up all the nausea, lost food, and near death experiences... I can safely tell our viewers that if they are feeling peckish and NEED to eat while on Expedition Everest, that they should head over to the Canadian pavilion and pick up some Canadian Cheddar Cheese Soup from Le Cellier Steakhouse. It was the least scalding soup we attempted to drink by a dang landslide.
Gazoo (holding stomach):
I'm not feeling so well.
Florida Man (patting his friend on the back):
Don't worry, Gaz. We'll swing by Animal Kingdom and pick up some cat food to get the taste of cheeseburger springroll out of your tears.
Gazoo (nodding):
Thanks Flo.
Rising, the duo start to walk down the street.
Florida Man:
Now all that is left is to scout these Seven Seas for the Skirmish.
Gazoo:
You actually trying to win that, Flo?
Florida Man:
Sure. I want to make a good showing for Marty's birthday. Don't want him to think that I spent the night before getting trashed at another friend's birthday, and didn't prioritize him. Besides, have you seen his Hardkore World antics? My boi can't beat the Annointed to save his life. Kilroy Evans. Dan Stein. Those are some heavy hitters - but for whatever reason that dick Steve Awesome has held on. The only gift I can give Marty that he would appreciate is the HKW tag straps. Now, since we're the WUK tag champs, there are politics that making winning both difficult. Getting a shot through regular channels would SUCK. Fortunately there is a chance at them if I pick up this skirmish...
Gazoo:
That is very thoughtful of you-
Florida Man:
Unless I opt for the Disney Wish prize - that would go for a lot on eBay!
Gazoo:
We could get enough money to throw a party celebrating your WUK win.
Florida Man:
With cocktail wienies and everything... but first things first. Winning that dang skirmish... I just have to get past my arch nemesis.
Gazoo:
The 711 health inspector?
Florida Man:
Nah Gaz, my wrestling arch nemesis.
Gazoo:
............wristlocks?
Florida Man:
Mystery Entrant #6. I don't know who he is.... but I do know he probably killed my parents or kicked my dang dog. Ours is a hatred for the ages. So whatever face he goes under THIS match, I will continue to wish for his blood. For all the wrestlers in this match, to me, there is just me and Mystery Man #6... that son of a bitch.
Gazoo:
How are you planning to beat this questionable threat, Flo?
Florida Man:
I have a foolproof plan for victory. I'm going to sink the ring. And when all the other wrestlers are running around going "OH MY GOD I CAN'T SWIM", I'm just going to stand on the top turnbuckle. As the last man in the water - that Disney Wish is as good as mine! The only thing standing in my way.... daaaaaaaang.
The two men suddenly stop.
Florida Man:
OH NO. I think the event is going down at Disney Land not World.
Gazoo:
Nah, it's world for sure, Flo.
Florida Man:
Pretty sure its at the one in Florida.
Gazoo:
Disney World is in Orlando.
Florida Man:
See? That isn't Florida... dang... we have a flight to catch!
Grabbing his dwarf by the wrist, Florida Man starts to race off - but stops to sign off for his audience.
Florida Man:
You have been watching FLORIDA MAN LIVE! If you enjoy what you see, don't forget to like, subscribe, ring the dang bell! And remember we got new content every Tuesday and Thursday.
Gazoo:
I can see the ring from here-
Florida Man:
No time, Gaz!
And like that Florida Man runs off to Disneyland - located in Anaheim, Florida.
He'll probably get back in time.
Rather than fade...
SMASH CUT!
...to Dan Marino spinning the title card.
FLORIDA MAN LIVE!
The title card appears in the hands of an NFL legend, as Dan Marino spins the cardboard sign like it was a pigskin. The camera SMASH ZOOMS in and out - FLORIDA MAN LIVE! FLORIDA MAN LIVE! FLORIDA MAN LIVE! It's really annoying. The colours start to change too. Red. Green. Red. Green. FLORIDA MAN LIVE! FLORIDA MAN LIVE! FLORIDA MAN LIVE! FLORIDA MAN LIVE! ...just often enough for the epileptic kids to lose their shit. Y'all know who you are! ...That ought to make the Pokemon fans in the audience happy.
Those audience members that aren't now twitching on the floor in a pool of their own sick, are treated to another SMASH ZOOM! As we cut from Dan Marino's mad fidget spinner skills to the live feed of your friendly neighbourhood Floridian who sits next to Gazoo on a Expedition Everest cart. A GOPro has been duct taped to the lap bar that prevents the two men from being decapitated, or hopefully falling out. You're not entirely sure the dwarf of the duo makes the height requirement, but it pays to be friends with Marty Donovan. At least that's what the Epcot Mafia told the teenage supervisor that tried to height discriminate.
Florida Man:
WASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS-
Gazoo (sticking out tongue):
Wasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss-
Florida Man (wants to stick out tongue, but his face is a mask):
ssssssssssssssssssup!
Gazoo:
ssss-
Florida Man (cutting it off):
Florida Nation! It is once again time for FML! What's our mantra?
Gazoo:
F.M.L!!!!
Florida Man:
Now my boi Marty is in the middle of planning the best birthday party ever for him and his dwarf sidekick, Tinto. It might be a rite of passage into manhood where they finally paint Tinto a specific colour. I'm guessing blue?
Gazoo:
You never throw me any parties.
Florida Man:
It might be a child. Point is, Marty has his hands so tied right now - he doesn't have time to promote Disney 24/7 the way he normally does. So in order to help him out, I figured we'd dedicate this episode of Florida Man Live to helping promote tourism for the House of Mouse!
Somewhere in the theme park a chill runs down the promoter's spine.
Florida Man:
So we came up with a special segment.
SMASH CUT!
Dan Marino spinning another title card.
CARD: WHAT IS THE BEST FOOD TO EAT ON EXPEDITION EVEREST?
SMASH CUT!
...Back to the ride.
Florida Man:
If you're anything like me you hate spending hard earned money-
Gazoo:
*SNORT*
Florida Man:
You hate spending TIME procuring delicious treats, only to lose them because your stomach couldn't handle the vertigo, G-force, smells, grease... flu from being around so many dang tots? Like if its hard to five finger discount a chilli dog, I don't want it flying away or being spit up. So since I'm in town anyway to win the Seven Seas Skirmish, the Epcot Mafia decided to help y'all out by running a little test........ what is the best food to eat on Expedition Everest? Good food, and good company. What could go wrong?
Gazoo and Florida Man both produce their Mickey Pretzels.
Florida Man:
Ride one. This salted Mickey shape bread stick!
The duo begin eating their pretzels as the ride begins- their hands fly around a little, but not hard enough to keep them from getting the salty treats in their mouths.
Florida Man:
I think we have a winner-
Gazoo:
HAAAAAACK-caaaa-cuuuu-
Uh oh, Gazoo seems to be choking on his pretzel. Florida Man doesn't have that problem, since his mask doesn't actually have a mouth hole - so his eating is not unlike Cookie Monster. As Florida tries to perform the Heimlich maneuver while pinned down by a metal bar, we...
SMASH CUT.
Florida Man:
Solids might not be our best bet for on-ride consumption.
The cut takes us back to the starting position of Expedition Everest, where Gazoo is quite pale. Both men hold up dole whips.
Florida Man:
Aloha! We got these soft serves from Aloha Isle... it was a total bitch getting them back to Expedition Everest before they melted. I gave them the same chances I give Joe Nobody in the skirmish. Exhausted before he even gets to the ring... still... whatever they put in these things, they are still in one piece. No choking hazard there...
Gazoo snarls, rubbing his throat in pain. Before he can respond, however, the ride starts.
Florida Man:
Round 2!
It starts off slowly enough.
Gazoo:
This is good-
Florida Man:
Yeah, it's actually working-
Then it speeds up - and within seconds, the pineapple ice cream flies back - hitting a number of other passengers in the face. The Epcot Mafia look less upset from their dairy assault than the fact that there food has gone to waste.
SMASH CUT!
This time the two men are sporting Mickey Premium Ice Cream bars.
Gazoo:
The hard chocolate making the Mickey impression will keep the ice cream from putting out another eye-
Florida Man:
Genius! (the ride starts up) ROUND 3!
They both dig into their ice cream bars. The chocolate cracks.
Gazoo:
This doesn't maintain the kind of structural integrity I was expecting...
Florida Man:
Quick eat faster, before we get to the next corner-
They plough through those ice cream bars-
Gazoo (grabbing skull in agony):
ICE CREAM HEADACHE!
Florida Man (holding temple like it's the only thing keeping his face together):
Oooooooooooooh.... this is the worst pain ever...... way worse than anything in Spike Kane's offence...
As the two men writhe around like they were having death spasms, the sympathetic editor...
SMASH CUTS.
Florida Man (ride starts up again):
Round 4! Nothing like a giant cinnamon roll, which we picked up at Gaston's Tavern to hit the spot-
Gazoo (holding his throat):
Gaaaaaaaaaach-
Florida Man:
What, again?
Coming to his choking manager's aid, Florida Man busts out a cup of LeFou’s Brew - only to have the apple slushy fly out of the cup onto the people behind them.
SMASH CUT.
Florida Man:
At the foodcart by Adventureland, you can pick up these tasty cheeseburger spring rolls. I'm confident in ROUND 5!
The two men start digging into their cheeseburger spring rolls.
Gazoo (chewing):
Little gross-
Florida Man (using a mallet to force the food through his mask):
You aren't choking, we aren't burning anyone, no ice cream headaches- this might be perfect.
SMASH CUT.
Outside of Expedition Everest, our dynamic duo violently vomit.
SMASH CUT.
The Epcot Mafia are once again strapped into Expedition Everest, holding some mouth watering chicken and beef bowls.
Florida Man:
Round 6! These bowls from Animal Kingdom's Satu'li Canteen look far more appetizing than that last dang atrocity. So go to the Animal Kingdom with an empty stomach, because these chicken and beef dishes are at the bottom of the dang food chain!
Gazoo:
Fortunately, after the Big Mac spring roll, I now have an empty stomach.
Florida Man:
It's a Disney miracle! (ride starts) Dig in!
As the duo are shaken about by Expedition Everest, the food in their dishes starts to fall out. They are able to get a few forkfuls of protein, but the majority of their food tumbles out.
SMASH CUT!
The duo begin to eat Ohana Bread Pudding, but it doesn't take long before Florida Man stabs himself in the eye with a spoonful of mock-Polynesian desert.
SMASH CUT!
The ride joins in progress, as Florida Man throws a corn dog nugget forward - only for it to fly backwards into his mouth. Gazoo tries to copy him, only for the nugget to fly into Florida Man's mouth as well. The two then proceed to have a harmless food fight with the corn dog nuggets, until one of them gets inhaled up Florida Man's nose and he begins choking this time.
SMASH CUT!
Colourful ice shavings that look like the Epcot Mafia are slurped up by Epcot's favourite sons. Minus all the food stains they are covered in.
Florida Man:
Round 46. Kakigori Shaved Ice from the fabulous Kabuki Cafe. ...It was a little tough getting it here from the Japanese pavilion.
Gazoo (rubbing stomach):
So full.
Florida Man:
Yes, we have eaten so much this afternoon that I had to roll Gaz over there.
Gazoo (dirty look):
You were standing on me, Flo.
Florida Man:
Yes Gaz, I learned that trick from Seal.
Gazoo (looking at the ice shaving green dwarf in his hand):
I don't know about this Flo... we haven't been having much luck with cold foods.
Florida Man:
Don't sweat it, Gaz, this has alcohol in it! That will warm us up!
Gazoo (chugging his ice shavings):
Why didn't we start with this?
Florida Man (pulling his mask up slightly to chug his own):
We needed to fill time-
The ride starts.
Gazoo:
I think we have a winner.
Florida Man:
Agreed.
Wait for it.
Gazoo (holding head like the end of Scanners):
AAAAAAAAH!
Florida Man (holding temple like the end of Scanners III):
AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
Gazoo:
THE PAIN!
Florida Man:
I CAN'T SEE!
Gazoo:
My tears... they taste like... cheeseburger springroll.
Florida Man:
No, Gaz!
The Epcot Mafia throw up on one another.
Fortunately Expedition Everest is quite fast, so the vomit actually hits the patrons in seats behind them.
SMASH CUT!
Security escort our heroes away from Expedition Everest.
Florida Man:
Marty Donovan is going to hear about this!
Gazoo:
And to think we're (belch) here trying to help Disney. You ingrates!
Our duo land hard on the pavement.
Florida Man (rolling over to his GOPro):
Well there you have it. Adding up all the nausea, lost food, and near death experiences... I can safely tell our viewers that if they are feeling peckish and NEED to eat while on Expedition Everest, that they should head over to the Canadian pavilion and pick up some Canadian Cheddar Cheese Soup from Le Cellier Steakhouse. It was the least scalding soup we attempted to drink by a dang landslide.
Gazoo (holding stomach):
I'm not feeling so well.
Florida Man (patting his friend on the back):
Don't worry, Gaz. We'll swing by Animal Kingdom and pick up some cat food to get the taste of cheeseburger springroll out of your tears.
Gazoo (nodding):
Thanks Flo.
Rising, the duo start to walk down the street.
Florida Man:
Now all that is left is to scout these Seven Seas for the Skirmish.
Gazoo:
You actually trying to win that, Flo?
Florida Man:
Sure. I want to make a good showing for Marty's birthday. Don't want him to think that I spent the night before getting trashed at another friend's birthday, and didn't prioritize him. Besides, have you seen his Hardkore World antics? My boi can't beat the Annointed to save his life. Kilroy Evans. Dan Stein. Those are some heavy hitters - but for whatever reason that dick Steve Awesome has held on. The only gift I can give Marty that he would appreciate is the HKW tag straps. Now, since we're the WUK tag champs, there are politics that making winning both difficult. Getting a shot through regular channels would SUCK. Fortunately there is a chance at them if I pick up this skirmish...
Gazoo:
That is very thoughtful of you-
Florida Man:
Unless I opt for the Disney Wish prize - that would go for a lot on eBay!
Gazoo:
We could get enough money to throw a party celebrating your WUK win.
Florida Man:
With cocktail wienies and everything... but first things first. Winning that dang skirmish... I just have to get past my arch nemesis.
Gazoo:
The 711 health inspector?
Florida Man:
Nah Gaz, my wrestling arch nemesis.
Gazoo:
............wristlocks?
Florida Man:
Mystery Entrant #6. I don't know who he is.... but I do know he probably killed my parents or kicked my dang dog. Ours is a hatred for the ages. So whatever face he goes under THIS match, I will continue to wish for his blood. For all the wrestlers in this match, to me, there is just me and Mystery Man #6... that son of a bitch.
Gazoo:
How are you planning to beat this questionable threat, Flo?
Florida Man:
I have a foolproof plan for victory. I'm going to sink the ring. And when all the other wrestlers are running around going "OH MY GOD I CAN'T SWIM", I'm just going to stand on the top turnbuckle. As the last man in the water - that Disney Wish is as good as mine! The only thing standing in my way.... daaaaaaaang.
The two men suddenly stop.
Florida Man:
OH NO. I think the event is going down at Disney Land not World.
Gazoo:
Nah, it's world for sure, Flo.
Florida Man:
Pretty sure its at the one in Florida.
Gazoo:
Disney World is in Orlando.
Florida Man:
See? That isn't Florida... dang... we have a flight to catch!
Grabbing his dwarf by the wrist, Florida Man starts to race off - but stops to sign off for his audience.
Florida Man:
You have been watching FLORIDA MAN LIVE! If you enjoy what you see, don't forget to like, subscribe, ring the dang bell! And remember we got new content every Tuesday and Thursday.
Gazoo:
I can see the ring from here-
Florida Man:
No time, Gaz!
And like that Florida Man runs off to Disneyland - located in Anaheim, Florida.
He'll probably get back in time.
Rather than fade...
SMASH CUT!
...to Dan Marino spinning the title card.
FLORIDA MAN LIVE