Zero for Four, but don't tell Steve (Hardcore Heaven)
Aug 21, 2023 21:15:29 GMT -5
Mongo the Destroyer, Venom 🕷, and 7 more like this
Post by RattyMcDaddy on Aug 21, 2023 21:15:29 GMT -5
The scene opens with the buzz of a drone. Floating, it's camera shows lush, green tree line, with a long road. Slowly the drone turns to reveal a lavish mansion. The drone darts for the front door, that is open. Floating inside, past the foyer, past a great seating area, and into the living room area, where sitting upon a couch are Alexander Von Blankenship, and Hasbulla.
Hasbulla is wearing a velvet bathrobe, a pair of pajama pants, and is holding a bowl of cereal. He is glaring at the large television in front of him. The Blessed One is decked out in a bedazzled El Ray tee shirt, the bedazzling in his smile is that of a gleaming winner, and a pair of Nautica sleeping pants. He too is entrenched in the Television,but has his cell phone up to his ear.
AVB zones out looking at the Television as Hasbulla mindlessly shovels Cinnamon Toast Crunch while watching as well.
AVB covers the phone and glares at Hasbulla.
Hasbullas eyes get large as he shakes his head yes.
Quite fills the room for a brief moment, the only sound is Hasbulla chomping as he glares at the television.
Quite and chomping again.
Quite and chomping again.
Quite and chomping.
Quite and chomping again.
Hasbulla taps AVBs leg getting his attention towards the TV, where Cris Angel is saying he is going to walk on water. AVB jumps up a bit, looks at Hasbulla and mouths What The Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
AVB hangs up the phone. He grabs the spoon from Hasbulla and starts eating the cereal as well, both glued to the TV.
The drone zips and zooms, back out the front door, and fades on the image of the lush green tree line.
The screen lights back up as AVB is sitting on a stool. The Cheshire Cat trademark grin upon his face. He is wearing a black Gi, and has an Anointed logoed headband around his forehead.
AVB chuckles to himself, smirking, while rubbing his chin hairs.
AVB adjusts his head band and straightens out his Gi. He gives a little bow and yells HI!
AVB acts as if he is thinking, but then returns to the camera.
AVB looks down at his wrist, it is absent if a watch, but that doesn't stop him.
AVB gets up and walks off as we fade to black.
Hasbulla is wearing a velvet bathrobe, a pair of pajama pants, and is holding a bowl of cereal. He is glaring at the large television in front of him. The Blessed One is decked out in a bedazzled El Ray tee shirt, the bedazzling in his smile is that of a gleaming winner, and a pair of Nautica sleeping pants. He too is entrenched in the Television,but has his cell phone up to his ear.
Yeah, I hear ya Wes. No worries, bro. Hawaii it is, and we will torch these two bums just like that fire torched all those island roaches.........what am I doing? Me and Hasbi are just hanging out, doing a little tape study on our opponents for Hardcore Heaven.
I just want to know why we were booked into a match with a guy that does magic?
AVB covers the phone and glares at Hasbulla.
Did that mother fucker just levitate?!
Hasbullas eyes get large as he shakes his head yes.
What? Yeah yeah, I'm still here.....What do you mean he isn't magic? I am watching his right now on TV, Cris Angel, dude is a mindfreak, and this is the kinda shit we get booked into?
Quite fills the room for a brief moment, the only sound is Hasbulla chomping as he glares at the television.
Who the fuck is Randy Angel? Is that Chris Angels brother, or some caca Mimi bull shit?
Quite and chomping again.
It isn't Cris Angels brother, but he does have a brother named Nelly? Like the Country Grammer Nelly? Like I'm goin' down, down baby, yo' street in a Range Rover
Street sweeper baby, cocked ready to let it go
Shimmy, shimmy cocoa, what? Listen to it pound
Light it up and take a puff, pass it to me now
I'm goin' down, down baby, yo' street in a Range Rover
Street sweeper baby, cocked ready to let it go , Nelly?
Quite and chomping again.
Soooooo ....... I'm zero for two huh? You have to admit, it was a solid fucking guess though, amiright? How many Nelly's can there be in the world? And who in the right fuck names a kid Nelly anyway. Let me guess this one though. Kris Quake.......related to ol' rotten WWF super heel Earthquake, and he is booked against me for one of those legends of sons type thing..............? No again, right.......uhhhhh he is an Amish Quaker, kind of like Randy Quad in Kingpin, but not as endearing to the heart?
Quite and chomping.
Listen, at least I'm constant with getting these wrong, there has to be some sort of redeeming quality in that alone. It's not like we're going up against two washed up, half drunk, over the hill bums, who had their heyday a decade or so ago, and will more then likely hit the ring wearing depends and smelling like bengay and old spice.
Quite and chomping again.
Ok, so that's exactly what and who they are, it only took me like 5 tries to get it right, and the one I wasn't serious about was the right answer. Great, fantastic. I mean it is a fans who bring the weapons death match, so maybe one of the fans will hand over some Baclofen, topiramate, or gabapentin. Those are all off-label medications for alcohol use disorder that can make you less interested in alcohol. They can also control common drinking triggers, such as anxiety. Speaking of anxiety, I was anxious when I thought we were scrapping with Cris Angel and Earthquakes kid, but now that I know it's just two drunken fuck sticks? We got this in the bag.
Hasbulla taps AVBs leg getting his attention towards the TV, where Cris Angel is saying he is going to walk on water. AVB jumps up a bit, looks at Hasbulla and mouths What The Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Look Wes, I gotta jam, there is some black magic hippy Jesus shit about to go down on my Television , and I'm not sure Habi should be watching this alone. See ya in Hawaii bro.
AVB hangs up the phone. He grabs the spoon from Hasbulla and starts eating the cereal as well, both glued to the TV.
The drone zips and zooms, back out the front door, and fades on the image of the lush green tree line.
The screen lights back up as AVB is sitting on a stool. The Cheshire Cat trademark grin upon his face. He is wearing a black Gi, and has an Anointed logoed headband around his forehead.
Hello Jrok, no no no, it's not the karate kid, I am not Ralph Machio, even though I'm sure to your squinty little eyes, all of us look the same huh?
I am not ignorant to the fact that the Jrok universe may be oblivious to me, so allow me to introduce myself, I am the man blessed by the gods, both above and below. The Second Generation Jackpot. The Nusence of the Netherlands. Amsterdams Fallen Angel. The leader, just don't tell Steve Awesome, and longest tenured member of the hottest faction on the XHF Network, The Anointed. Hardkore Worlds reigning, defending, undisputed Tag Team Champion of the World. The man who over the last two months has put Marty Donovan shoulders to the mat for victories. The Blessed One, Always Very Blessed, Alexander Von Blankenship. I know I knows why haven't I toured Asia before? I mean, with this charisma, this style, I dressed in customary clothing just for this introduction ya know?
AVB adjusts his head band and straightens out his Gi. He gives a little bow and yells HI!
I would be a smash, right? Maybe when you people stop eating dogs, cats, bats, and creating global pandemics, I'll consider blessing you all with a tour. Until then you're just going to have to settle for a little taste, at Hardcore Heaven, when The Anointed, Wesley The High Roller Crane , and I, dismantle Super Sake Presents : Run a train on our old ladies, or whatever they are called. Then after Hardcore Heaven, it's off to a Mouse Party, where I'm going to talk to a man about a horse, or upper decker a toilet at Marty's Birthday party.
AVB acts as if he is thinking, but then returns to the camera.
You see, Jrok, when your a budding, blessed, fresh to death global icon, like I am, your work in never done. Show here, travel there, party here. Shit, I have to schedule times just to watch a movie.
AVB looks down at his wrist, it is absent if a watch, but that doesn't stop him.
Speaking of just that, I gotta let you guys go. I'm going to watch Oppenheimer, I heard it's good, you should watch it sometime. It was nice getting to know you all the pleasure was all yours, see you all at Hardcore Heaven.
AVB gets up and walks off as we fade to black.
End
