Post by Mongo the Destroyer on Sept 20, 2024 18:47:54 GMT -5
*We watch as Lord Dominicus polishes the DominiCruiser outside, enjoying the oddly warm fall weather. As he looks at his DARK reflection in the shiny BLACK of the car’s paint job you can sense his pride in his vehicle. After a moment he puts the cloth down and turns to the camera.*
LD: Oh, hello there!
*He leans up against the car and stretches a bit.*
LD: When I look at the match I’m in at the Pier One Brawl and the fact that it means having to endure listening to whatever weird slush comes out of Wesley Crane and Preston Andre Reese’s mouths I wonder why I even joined Wrestle: United Kingdom in the first place.
*Dominicus nods to himself.*
LD: But then I think about what this company was before me and where I was before this company. By all means, by the way, I recommend everyone at home go into the XHF Network’s vast archives and go see that everything I’ve done is true.
*He pushes himself off the car as he gets ready.*
LD: Because at nearly every company I’ve been to I’ve changed the face of the company. I’ve become their world champions- or whatever is the equivalent. And I’ve left my indelible mark on those feds. Immediately before coming to Wrestle: United Kingdom I had been in CAR- in which my team- Bad to the Bone- and this car had won EVERY possible title. This car which Reese felt compelled to disparage despite his car having no accolades.
*The DARK LORD OF THE XHF NETWORK pats the DominiCruiser.*
LD: PAR, my car has a longer achievements list than you, think about that. It’s probably got a longer article on the XHF Network website too because one can only write “Hangs out with Wesley Crane” in so many ways. But I digress. Directly before CAR I was in Northern Pro Wrestling- where from my debut until they left the Network I was continuously a champion. I righted that ship, and when the time came, I ventured to Wrestle United Kingdom to right this one.
*He walks closer to the camera.*
LD: But let’s look at my record. I signed the contract to help drive out the Bastards- note that they quickly fled the Network as my pen touched paper. I’m sure Wesley you’ll try to claim that was your doing, and for sure you played a major role in their leaving. Kudos.
*He finger guns.*
LD: I was winking with that. But while you were useful as a blunt object to drive away some vermin, you lack the finesse to actually make things change.
*Stop. Dominicus starts to walk back to the car.*
LD: See, Crane, under your “era” what happened to this company? It was swamped with talent that Blood had to borrow from Hardkore World to actually look relevant. Our own top stars were working their midcard as we pushed their guys to world title matches. In short, under you this company became a developmental if at least in spirit of Hardkore World.
*He shakes his head.*
LD: Disgusting. And perhaps even more insulting, under your period on top did we even do shows in the United Kingdom? What I remember seeing is Wrestle United Kingdom in name only. We were filled with VERY American wrestlers and constantly toured in the states. We could have been renamed Hardkore World: South-East.
*Lord Dominicus moves his hands as a mock marquee as he says the name. Then he points.*
LD: That’s Wesley Crane’s legacy as Wrestle United Kingdom World Champion. Which uh, on that note; Wesley seems to wonder why I think the world revolves around me…
*He turns around and leans into the DominiCruiser’s driver-side window. Soon he returns with the WUK World Championship, which he holds up.*
LD: Why? Because it does. Once again, just like in every company I’ve ever touched I’m suddenly the main character. And what of my legacy? Do you see us propping up Hardkore world with the hard work of our roster? Do you see us touring the bayou as we scrape the mudflats for white trash? No. I did something that the High Rollers and Wesley Crane are incapable of- I brought Wrestle United Kingdom dignity; evil, EVIL, dignity.
*Dominicus throws the title over his shoulder.*
LD: And before you even think of a rebuttal Crane I gotta tell you, when Adam Pearce nicknamed the NWA Championship “Sweet Charlotte” it was a tribute to one of its most well-know champion’s hometowns. Meanwhile former champion Wesley Crane just names belts after women he wants to lay. If you really wanted to follow the pattern, Crane, then you should call this title- MY title, “Parts Unknown.”
*He pats the title.*
LD: So in Belfast at the Pier One Brawl, Big Bone- not Dinosaur Bones- and I will be using our rematch to perform a service for this company. Just another in a long line of EVIL TASKS to make this place better- and that’s to save the Wrestle United Kingdom Tag Team Championships from your weird ass. Because truth be told…
*Dominicus walks closer to the camera again as he takes the title from his shoulder to hold it up for the camera.*
LD: The world does revolve around me. And like it or not, I am the most important person on this show. You and Reece are in my world now. And when you insult things far above your stations you invite wrath.
*Pause.*
LD: And who knows. Since you seem to have him on your mind, maybe I’ll bring my dracolich with me so he can eat you; he’s been real hungry since Night of Champions. He might appreciate a snack. I’m winking right now- threateningly. See you soon!
*OUR World Champion throws the title over his shoulder, turns around, and throws up a behind-the-back wave as he goes back to attending the DominiCruiser. Fade out.*
LD: Oh, hello there!
*He leans up against the car and stretches a bit.*
LD: When I look at the match I’m in at the Pier One Brawl and the fact that it means having to endure listening to whatever weird slush comes out of Wesley Crane and Preston Andre Reese’s mouths I wonder why I even joined Wrestle: United Kingdom in the first place.
*Dominicus nods to himself.*
LD: But then I think about what this company was before me and where I was before this company. By all means, by the way, I recommend everyone at home go into the XHF Network’s vast archives and go see that everything I’ve done is true.
*He pushes himself off the car as he gets ready.*
LD: Because at nearly every company I’ve been to I’ve changed the face of the company. I’ve become their world champions- or whatever is the equivalent. And I’ve left my indelible mark on those feds. Immediately before coming to Wrestle: United Kingdom I had been in CAR- in which my team- Bad to the Bone- and this car had won EVERY possible title. This car which Reese felt compelled to disparage despite his car having no accolades.
*The DARK LORD OF THE XHF NETWORK pats the DominiCruiser.*
LD: PAR, my car has a longer achievements list than you, think about that. It’s probably got a longer article on the XHF Network website too because one can only write “Hangs out with Wesley Crane” in so many ways. But I digress. Directly before CAR I was in Northern Pro Wrestling- where from my debut until they left the Network I was continuously a champion. I righted that ship, and when the time came, I ventured to Wrestle United Kingdom to right this one.
*He walks closer to the camera.*
LD: But let’s look at my record. I signed the contract to help drive out the Bastards- note that they quickly fled the Network as my pen touched paper. I’m sure Wesley you’ll try to claim that was your doing, and for sure you played a major role in their leaving. Kudos.
*He finger guns.*
LD: I was winking with that. But while you were useful as a blunt object to drive away some vermin, you lack the finesse to actually make things change.
*Stop. Dominicus starts to walk back to the car.*
LD: See, Crane, under your “era” what happened to this company? It was swamped with talent that Blood had to borrow from Hardkore World to actually look relevant. Our own top stars were working their midcard as we pushed their guys to world title matches. In short, under you this company became a developmental if at least in spirit of Hardkore World.
*He shakes his head.*
LD: Disgusting. And perhaps even more insulting, under your period on top did we even do shows in the United Kingdom? What I remember seeing is Wrestle United Kingdom in name only. We were filled with VERY American wrestlers and constantly toured in the states. We could have been renamed Hardkore World: South-East.
*Lord Dominicus moves his hands as a mock marquee as he says the name. Then he points.*
LD: That’s Wesley Crane’s legacy as Wrestle United Kingdom World Champion. Which uh, on that note; Wesley seems to wonder why I think the world revolves around me…
*He turns around and leans into the DominiCruiser’s driver-side window. Soon he returns with the WUK World Championship, which he holds up.*
LD: Why? Because it does. Once again, just like in every company I’ve ever touched I’m suddenly the main character. And what of my legacy? Do you see us propping up Hardkore world with the hard work of our roster? Do you see us touring the bayou as we scrape the mudflats for white trash? No. I did something that the High Rollers and Wesley Crane are incapable of- I brought Wrestle United Kingdom dignity; evil, EVIL, dignity.
*Dominicus throws the title over his shoulder.*
LD: And before you even think of a rebuttal Crane I gotta tell you, when Adam Pearce nicknamed the NWA Championship “Sweet Charlotte” it was a tribute to one of its most well-know champion’s hometowns. Meanwhile former champion Wesley Crane just names belts after women he wants to lay. If you really wanted to follow the pattern, Crane, then you should call this title- MY title, “Parts Unknown.”
*He pats the title.*
LD: So in Belfast at the Pier One Brawl, Big Bone- not Dinosaur Bones- and I will be using our rematch to perform a service for this company. Just another in a long line of EVIL TASKS to make this place better- and that’s to save the Wrestle United Kingdom Tag Team Championships from your weird ass. Because truth be told…
*Dominicus walks closer to the camera again as he takes the title from his shoulder to hold it up for the camera.*
LD: The world does revolve around me. And like it or not, I am the most important person on this show. You and Reece are in my world now. And when you insult things far above your stations you invite wrath.
*Pause.*
LD: And who knows. Since you seem to have him on your mind, maybe I’ll bring my dracolich with me so he can eat you; he’s been real hungry since Night of Champions. He might appreciate a snack. I’m winking right now- threateningly. See you soon!
*OUR World Champion throws the title over his shoulder, turns around, and throws up a behind-the-back wave as he goes back to attending the DominiCruiser. Fade out.*
