Official Rumble Sign Ups (SIGN UP HERE!)

[ForeverKuroi]

The scene fades in to Ember Ferrari laying out by a pool deck. She is on her back on a beach chair, wearing nothing but a pair of sunglasses, and a white bikini. She turns to the camera and pulls down her sunglasses.

Ember: Oh my! I didn't realize you were there! Well, I'm not quite sure I can top that promo by Spike Kane. I'm not sure I've met him, but I bet I would like to. You see, he was angry. He was steaming. He was full of passion. Maybe he needs to...

Ember begins to run her fingers through her chest.

Ember: ...Release some of that aggression. You see, I know his anger. I know his pent up passion just waiting to be unleashed.

Ember realizes that her fondling hands have traveled south of the belt line. She looks up at the camera and sheepishly turns away a little as she regains composure.

Ember: The point I'm trying to make is that since I've lost my championship, I've needed to release some passion and get mine. I need to get back in the spotlight. What better way than to win the XHF Rumble?

With a smile, Ember looks up to the sun.

Ember: The future will be brighter when I become the winner of the XHF Rumble and prove to everyone that women can do just what men can. The sexiest woman in the XHF will be the first to the win the Rumble! I'l see you there!

Suddenly, Ember diverrs her eyes from the sun.

Ember: Ah! The sun is bright!

The scene fades to black.

[Technical Perfection]

{A title belt, freshly polished and shiny fills the screen. The camera zooms slowly out to reveal the smiling, confident face of the Combat Wrestling Dauntless Champion, "The Polynesian Prodigy" Taane.}

CHOOO-HOOO! What up, people? It's your boy Taane. And look what I got. I gotta belt. And it seems that the XHF are having their annual little somethin' somethin' that is the XHF Rumble. Open to anyone who has a network affiliate contract. Well I ain't just got a contract. I got this here title too. And I will be proud, damn proud to represent the 408, my bloodline, my people, this here belt and my little corner of your network in that battle royale environment.

People are gonna tell you that they're ready for the challenge. People might be right. But I got four letters on my side.

BTDT

[Kira Izumi]

a lovely japanese woman is seen sitting in a chair, she has on a robe and looks as if she just got done doing something. another lady walks over to her and gives her a bottle of water before she talks.

"(This will just take a minute, this is for the wrestling thing. Did you know they're letting anyone join this giant battle royal? Do you know how many people are going to be there?!)"

"(Do you know how many DVDs you can sell!?!?!)"

"(Yeah... but do you know how many more fans i could get? how much experience i can get in that one match!? This has me super excited Akira-san! You know what? XHF Network! I don't know the status of Wrestlegasm, but i do know that Ai Moe will be in the XHF Rumble! Please support me and please buy my DVDs! they're top quality just like me! thank you very much.)"

[Dylan]

Groot: I am Groot

Rocket Raccoon: What he said was HE'S IN!

[Hyperion]

The heavens part ways as clouds separate. The clear blue sky over everyone's heads begin to buzz, almost vibrate the air around them. Suddenly, a loud and booming voice speaks from the very sky above. 

WASSUP BITCHEZ

And just like that, the God of Heavenly Light was entered into the Rumble. The REAL Hyperion tournament.

[The King]

What's that? The Icons will be in it? Alongside Bobby fucking Barratt?!

SIGN ME UP.

[mistercheaps]

*The screen opens to an old, well-worn boxing gym. The video is being recorded with a handheld recorder on what looks to be VHS quality tape. Mick Murphy is sitting on a bench holding a 40 lb dumbbell.*

Murphy: Is this recording?

Voice behind the camera: Uh.. hang on... *the camera shuffled around as the guy tries to figure out how to work it*

Camera guy: And... action!

*Murphy immediately looks down and starts doing bicep curls*

Murphy: 98.. 99.. 100! *looks at the camera* Oh, I didn’t see you there! I’m just getting myself ready for my big debut. Ladies and gentlemen, Mick Murphy is going to be entering the XHF Rumble! Finally, I’m going to have the opportunity to prove to the world why I’M the greatest fighter on the planet! Not that most of you need any convincing, but I thought I’d jump in and win this thing just to eliminate any doubts you might still have. Now if you’ll excuse me, this body’s not gonna sculpt itself.

*Starts doing curls again*

Murphy: 101... 102... Are we off?

Camera guy: Uh... I think so...*shuffles the camera some more until
Murphy takes it*

Murphy: Gimme that you fuckin’ moron. *Camera points at Murphy’s confused face as the video settings shuffle around. Finally, after 30 seconds of mumbling curses and pressing buttons, the video stops*

[Steele]

We see an exterior shot of the outside of Jackson Steele's second home in Bethesda, Ohio. The shot is framed so that you see his outdoor pool at the bottom of the screen. Taking up the middle ground, eXXXstacy sits poolside at a small table, reading a book and a cocktail at her side.

It's cold out, but not so cold that she can't sit outside comfortably with a light coat.

Just at that moment, a rubber ring floats by in the pool, bearing Jackson Steele in nothing but a Speedo and a pair of floaties.

STEELE: What? I'm Canadian. This isn't cold.

He spins slowly and paddles with one hand to keep himself facing the camera.

STEELE: So, 'bout this XHF Rumble. Y'know, I can't think of a more fitting accolade to crown my debut year as a professional wrestler. Former AWF Champion. End Of... no, wait! I'll be a two-time AWF Champion by time the Rumble rolls round! So a two-time AWF Champion! The End Of Days winner in 2017! Double XHF Award winner! And now- XHF Rumble winner for 2018!

Jackson puts a foot in the water to try and stop himself from floating out-of-shot.

STEELE: So consider this my official announcement - Jackson Steele is entering the XHF Rumble! And you know what I say; Jackson Steele... always comes first!

He begins to float out of shot when he suddenly remembers something.

STEELE: Oh! And one more thing- it's her birthday today and I got her an extra-special gift! I spoke to the XHF executives and they all agreed that she should be able to share the spotlight for once! So she's in it too!

Jackson slowly starts spinning off the screen as eXXXstacy's head shoots up.

eXXXstacy: Wait, what?

Jackson throws her a thumbs up.

STEELE: Happy birthday honey!

Fade out.

[Deleted]

A figure enters the view of the camera, strategically moving in the shadows.


“So the XHF Network is hosting the rumble”


The sounds of footsteps can be heard on what appears to be a concrete floor.

“I'm not here to talk about when I debuted wrestling”

A card is thrown on the ground with a faded year on it.

"I'm not here to talk about the federations that I have been part of in the past”

A handful of banners are thrown on to the floor with company names on them.

“I’m not here to talk about the other countries that I have wrestled in.”

A handful of flags are also thrown on the floor.

“I'm also not here to talk about the many of titles I have won before”

A selection of titles are also thrown down onto the floor on the pile

“You see I am officially joining the Rumble ”

Petrol is poured on the pile.

“I am here for one thing. It is time to set my career ablaze once again”

A zippo is lite and thrown also on the pile. The titles, flags and banners go in in flames. The glow of the raging fire engulfs the shadows. A tall guy can be seen standing watching the inferno on the floor

“Out of all the different matches that I have taken part in. This will be a first for me.”

The figure bends down behind the flames.

“I welcome the challenge that will come with being part of the rumble. This fire is symbolic to the burning desire, I have to prove to myself that I can still be a dominant force to be reckoned with, not just in Riot Star Wrestling”

The figure moves around the side of the fire to stand in front of the fire. He appears to be wearing blue jeans and a black sleeveless jacket.

“This is time for “the Future of RSW” Eddie Havok to become a recognised name everywhere”

The figure walks off to the side to be once again engulfed into the shadows.

[Curtis D. Kanyon]

*We interrupt this show with a message from the Oval Office.*



**Blanco Casa de Kanyon 3.0**

*We open on Curtis Kanyon sitting behind his desk.*

Curtis: My fellow Americans, when there is a a Rumble a-rumblin', you best believe I'm going to show up for the sheer thrill of kicking ass and taking names! Except, not the taking names part because I ain't got time for that in the rumble, and I don't give a fuck what these pleebs names are anyway! I thought this was important enough to interupt all your broadcast channels for this message, so please join Thor in bearing witness to my awesome tossing human abilities at the XHF Rumble, not just for me, but for America! Isn't that right Howard Dean?



Curtis: You may now go back to watching Days of Our Lives or whatever. Now go away, I have presidenty things to do.

*Curtis waves the camera off.*

**Fade out**

[Nocturnal]

The room is in complete darkness. If you didn't hear the breathing coming from within you would have thought it was empty.

"Some have entered themselves into this Rumble for selfish reasons," a voice said. "They are trying to suppress their masters in an attempt to get a better spot in their promotions. Shame on them, shame!"

The figure leaned forward out of the darkness revealing a tattooed face.

"But I, Mister Jinx do this for myself," he said. "I enter myself into this rabble of humanity in an attempt just to showcase myself. Screw everyone else, Mister Jinx is coming for you all."

He leaned backwards out of shot.
 

[ForeverKuroi]

Michael Storm stands outside of his bathroom, holding his medication.

Storm: So if I hold this, Duncan will go away? I can finally live my life?

MCD: That's what the doctor said, but shit. You don't want to do that.

Storm looks at himself in the hall mirror.

Storm: You're right. I don't.

Storm squeezes the pill bottle in his hand as he creates a fist.

Storm: I'm going to beat the shit out of you, myself. The real you. I'll be at the XHF Rumble and I know you'll be there.

MCD: How the fuck you know I'll be there?

Storm: Because I know you well enough to know that if anyone is enjoying their life, you'll be there to ruin that good time. There, I'll beat you down and once you're gone in real life, you'll be gone from my mind.

Storm looks back to the mirror.

Storm: And I can finally have my mind back.

[ForeverKuroi]

[Dave D-Flipz]

*We open on a wide shot of the XHF Headquarters in Minnesota. The camera does one of those dramatic flyarounds from a distance showing is the majestic grounds ... covered in a TON of snow since it's bloody March and 4 snow storms have just wrecked across the continental U.S. in the last 3 weeks. And it's Minnesota so ... I mean it HAS to be covered in snow. I've never actually been there but hey it's my job to be the expository scene settery in this here picture so trust me it's snowy! Anyhow ...*

: Mini what are you doing on Mongo's computer?

*I'm clearly typ... oh wait ...*

: I'm clearly writing us an epic biopicture because the rest of you bums have done *bleep*-all since the End of Days tournament to get us any work or do anything of substance.

: Nonsense, we've had a tag team title shot!

*Mini just stares at him*

: Saber is constantly going missing and his room is covered in papers detailing various plans to get people forcibly in the ring to be mauled by a bear for whatever reason. No hyperbeer to be found... Techno has been playing video games for two months solid now.

: These are epic tomes in which I am using my abilities at this remote controller to help these natives on a distant planet save their own ... FUTURES! After all New Donk City won't explore itself and this pig lord of the calamity has surely done some horrible things. If spending 100 hours of my time collecting moons and salvaging shrines for them via remote control then it is time well spent. It's not like the Borgs are a threat anymore. Gold-Borg has gone good and makes a mean omelette, Heavy Metal has been a non-presence almost like he's a ghost {more on that at a later time} and Evil Borg is trapped here in the PAST and is focusing more on making mechanical bears to defeat Venom and James Mueller and a bear with an enormous ....appendage ... dangling everywhere ... than he is on trying to get home to THE AFTERWARD ... so ... my time is well spent!

: Nano keeps vanishing and ... wait where did those two belts come from?

{Nano tosses away two belts behind the couch and looks around like he has no idea what Mini is on about}

: Xtreme has been spending all day and night researching ways to care for pigs and you ....... what HAVE you been doing?

: Studying my dear Miniature comrade! I have found a way to nullify your desire to write us a primitive tree-corpse version of our story. We ... win the XHF Rumble! A show of grandeur that will once again refill our stocks of trons in training in no time! We need to gain access to more TiTs! .... STOP SNICKERING!

: Of course! What better way to honor Lazor than to win the rumble in his name and become a part of history! And I'm sure we can use the prize to help us protect THE FUTURE! I'm in! The two of us together will make two chances to walk away winners! And three chances at glory couldn't hurt...

: What was that my young friend?

: Nothing! Together the two of us can win!

: Well while I can't speak for Saber or Xtreme as they are currently in THE FUTURE ... as leader I can certainly speak for the FOUR of us ...

: But but ... I need to make star allies and save Dream Land! Their protector is some small pink ball of hot gas! He COULDN'T survive without me!

: Now now Techno you will be entered! As will Nano and myself. And we will prevail!

{Nano and Shogun pose in epic fashion, Techno hangs his head while Mini spins in his chair laughing}

: Yeah you rubes will be great I believe in ... wait ... you said 4. No No no no come on! .......... {They all stare at him} ... Ugh fine.

*We zoom in on the majestic building to see a window shatter as a minature man ... a handsome muscular devil ... leaps from a window to certain doom wondering why the hell he ever thought it was a good idea to join up with these goons.*

: Our lair is in the basement and you yourself set the scene with feet of snow, no writing yourself out of this one Mini.

{Fade out}

[Dave D-Flipz]

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Begin Transmission ...

*We open in the bowels of a gym in Atlanta. There is an ominous feel to it. The camera spins slowly and passes by a HUGE mechanical bear strapped to a device on the wall. Suddenly sparks illuminate the dark room. It is Evil-Borg doing work on Mecha-Goldbear! The camera zooms out and suddenly a face takes up the ENTIRE screen*

: Don't call it a comeback ... we been here for years ... Rockin' our peers and puttin' suckas in fear Makin' the tears rain down like a monsoon. Listen to the bass go boom!

*He leaps backwards and we see Heavy-metal Borg rocking out to the camera*

: Explosion, overpowerin' Over the competition, we're towerin' Wreckin' shop, when I drop some moves that'll make you call the cops. Don't you dare stare, you betta move. Don't ever compare Us to the rest that'll all get sliced and diced. Competition's payin' our price. I'm gonna throw you out. EB said throw you out.

: ... Are you ... rapping? At the competition?

: I never rap. I wanna rock!

: ... But ...

: Cover!

: ... Oh ... ok ... OH!

*He tosses covers over Mecha-Goldbear, don't want no secrets revealed.*

: ... If anyone claims they saw anything I'll use my five fingered death punch on them!

*HM taps the point of his nose. (You get what I did there right?)*

: ... Yes we will eliminate ALL the competition in this rumble. No longer will we need to be satisfied in this small gym. We will rise up and claim our path to ... THE AFTERWARD! Because we are the BORGS! RULERS OF ALL XHF REALMS!

: I'm the Heavy ... Metal ... Jesus! The heavy metal thunderstrikin' Jesus! *sparks fly from behind as Evil goes back to his creation* WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP!

*Fade out*