Post by anthonycaffrey on Feb 20, 2019 3:12:03 GMT -5
We see the AXW Undisputed Champion checking into the arena at a security checkpoint. The champion doesn’t meet the guard’s demand for ID and seems extremely displeased at having to prove his identity. He tries displaying his gold to the guard, but the guard doesn’t look up from his clipboard, ignoring Caffrey loudly berating him. Caffrey is steamed, yelling at the guard for being incompetent and not recognizing Caffrey as the face of AXW or from the show’s advertisements. Caffrey’s anger reaches a fever pitch when the guard indicates that Caffrey is clearly not Bobby Barratt or Jack Diamond.
The champion finally settles for furiously pulling out his ID and waving it in the guard’s face. Once he is finally granted access, we can hear Caffrey still cursing out the guard as he slides a large pair of Beats headphones over his ears. He rolls his eyes before finding a track he likes on his phone, and then begins his walk down a long hallway. He takes his winter jacket and gloves off, tossing them at a technician who has offered to hold onto them without even bothering to make eye contact with the technician. As The Wrestling Emperor walks, he seems to be paying no attention to his immediate surroundings, at least until he comes across a poster advertising Diamonds are Forever.
Caffrey takes a look at the poster. His AWF Prestige Champion vs AXW Undisputed Champion Match is underneath the bigger X*Crown match of Bobby Barratt vs Jack Diamond. His own championship on the poster is considerably smaller, and the camera shows a frustrated Caffrey seething over his placement towards the middle of the card.
In one swift movement, Caffrey rips the Barratt vs Diamond X*Crown match straight off the poster. He crumbles the match into a ball and throws it straight into the trash, where he believes the main event belongs. Caffrey looks back at the card and smiles a half smile, his match now at the top of the card. He deliberately kisses his non-injured fingers and places them on his AXW Undisputed Championship on the photo of himself. We can see him pondering removing his opponent from the wall as well, but Caffrey settles for using one of his fingers to gracelessly flip Card off. He admires his handiwork.
ANTHONY CAFFREY
That’s better.
The cameraman works around Caffrey to catch a look at the champion’s bandaged hand. Caffrey is clearly avoiding gripping anything with his heavily wrapped right hand, using his left hand to hold his phone, the same hand in which he held his ID earlier. He moves on from the poster and continues down the hallway, doing his best to avoid the hallway full of the faces of Barratt and Diamond.
Caffrey makes his way to the backstage area and passes through the curtain to the stage. His casual nodding seems to reveal that he isn’t seem taken back by the size of the space, as he has won big time fights in even bigger arenas all over the world. Surprisingly, the pictures that Caffrey takes of the arena with his phone reveal his actual problem: the champion has a case of the jitters. He notices his shaking hand and quickly stops taking pictures, choosing instead to shove his uninjured hand into his pocket in an attempt to put the nerves out of sight and out of mind.
Caffrey signals another technician with a nod to hit his music. He closes his eyes as the pop rock begins to boom through the arena’s speakers. The champion seems to be in the process of taking himself to a different world, of getting into a zone, but he is struggling to do so. He lets out a few long deep breaths and shakes his head in frustration. A fourth breath seems to calm him, allowing him to center his focus.
The champion opens his eyes and makes his way down to the ring with a determined look in his eyes. He walks up the steps and points to his ankle, before pointing into the ring and miming a snapping motion. It is clear that he has done this tradition hundreds of times before, thought it is a little odd because there’s no match tonight, nor is there anyone in the ring.
The AXW Undisputed Champion steps into the ring and looks out at the empty seats, knowing they’ll be full of fans booing the hell out of him on Sunday. He walks over to the ropes and tests them before fully leaning on them. He seems to be lost in thought, but his expression changes as he smiles the same sinister smile we’ve seen since his debut. He’s ready for this next challenge.
Caffrey gets tapped on the shoulder and knocks the man who tapped on his shoulder straight onto his ass out of pure instinct. He turns around and realizes that the man was an XHF employee, a young interviewer who foolishly chose to meet Caffrey in the middle of the ring. The champion does not help the interviewer up, instead grabbing at his own hand and verbally ripping him for sneaking up on a man twice his size. When the interviewer makes his way back to his feet, he brushes himself off and dives right into his first question.
INTERVIEWER
We are only a few days away--
ANTHONY CAFFREY
That’s strike two.
INTERVIEWER
What? What was the first strike?
CAFFREY
First, you tried to sneak up on a man who could break every bone in your body. Second, you didn’t even introduce me. I am the AXW Undisputed Champion, show me the goddamned respect I’ve earned.
Caffrey bangs on his championship loudly to make his point heard.
INTERVIEWER
We agreed to this interview, and you never said---
CAFFREY
You know what? Get out. Get out of my ring. Right now. You’re killing my vibe. Go away.
Caffrey shoos away the interviewer. The interviewer tries to put up a fight, but Caffrey clearly isn’t budging on his request. He reaches back in his pocket for his phone and speaks into it.
CAFFREY
Siri, set a timer for 30 seconds.
SIRI
Setting the timer… your timer is set for 30 seconds.
Caffrey holds up his phone directly in the interviewer’s face.
CAFFREY
Get out of my sight before this goes off or I’m going to break your ankle for practice.
The interviewer realizes that his time is already running out. He hightails it out of the ring and up the entrance ramp. Caffrey snickers before looking directly into the camera.
CAFFREY
Did you know I have a good ankle lock?
Caffrey’s quiet chuckle breaks into full-on laughter. He covers his mouth, almost embarrassed at how much he’s laughing at Card.
CAFFREY
Between that and the most tone deaf response I think I’ve ever seen, I think we know where Card stands on the important issues!
Caffrey keeps laughing at Card. He catches himself and finally regains his composure.
CAFFREY
At first I thought you hadn’t cracked, Christopher. I was hoping for some indignant fire about me hitting on your wife, or some heated passion from you about me insisting that you need to retire. Nope. Instead I was treated to some incredibly pedantic explanations that ended with an Annie Get Your Gun parlor trick. Clearly anything I can do, you can do better.
Caffrey mockingly gives Card a golf clap. He rolls his eyes and yawns.
CAFFREY
I was so angry trying to think of how to respond. Do I make fun of your wife? We both know she probably sucked you off like a Dyson to protect her investment after I accused her of being a gold-digger. I called around Canadian retirement homes for you, but then decided I wouldn’t set foot in that God awful country of yours without a title match and a fat paycheck to get me up there.
Caffrey throws his hands up.
CAFFREY
The champion finally settles for furiously pulling out his ID and waving it in the guard’s face. Once he is finally granted access, we can hear Caffrey still cursing out the guard as he slides a large pair of Beats headphones over his ears. He rolls his eyes before finding a track he likes on his phone, and then begins his walk down a long hallway. He takes his winter jacket and gloves off, tossing them at a technician who has offered to hold onto them without even bothering to make eye contact with the technician. As The Wrestling Emperor walks, he seems to be paying no attention to his immediate surroundings, at least until he comes across a poster advertising Diamonds are Forever.
Caffrey takes a look at the poster. His AWF Prestige Champion vs AXW Undisputed Champion Match is underneath the bigger X*Crown match of Bobby Barratt vs Jack Diamond. His own championship on the poster is considerably smaller, and the camera shows a frustrated Caffrey seething over his placement towards the middle of the card.
In one swift movement, Caffrey rips the Barratt vs Diamond X*Crown match straight off the poster. He crumbles the match into a ball and throws it straight into the trash, where he believes the main event belongs. Caffrey looks back at the card and smiles a half smile, his match now at the top of the card. He deliberately kisses his non-injured fingers and places them on his AXW Undisputed Championship on the photo of himself. We can see him pondering removing his opponent from the wall as well, but Caffrey settles for using one of his fingers to gracelessly flip Card off. He admires his handiwork.
ANTHONY CAFFREY
That’s better.
The cameraman works around Caffrey to catch a look at the champion’s bandaged hand. Caffrey is clearly avoiding gripping anything with his heavily wrapped right hand, using his left hand to hold his phone, the same hand in which he held his ID earlier. He moves on from the poster and continues down the hallway, doing his best to avoid the hallway full of the faces of Barratt and Diamond.
Caffrey makes his way to the backstage area and passes through the curtain to the stage. His casual nodding seems to reveal that he isn’t seem taken back by the size of the space, as he has won big time fights in even bigger arenas all over the world. Surprisingly, the pictures that Caffrey takes of the arena with his phone reveal his actual problem: the champion has a case of the jitters. He notices his shaking hand and quickly stops taking pictures, choosing instead to shove his uninjured hand into his pocket in an attempt to put the nerves out of sight and out of mind.
Caffrey signals another technician with a nod to hit his music. He closes his eyes as the pop rock begins to boom through the arena’s speakers. The champion seems to be in the process of taking himself to a different world, of getting into a zone, but he is struggling to do so. He lets out a few long deep breaths and shakes his head in frustration. A fourth breath seems to calm him, allowing him to center his focus.
The champion opens his eyes and makes his way down to the ring with a determined look in his eyes. He walks up the steps and points to his ankle, before pointing into the ring and miming a snapping motion. It is clear that he has done this tradition hundreds of times before, thought it is a little odd because there’s no match tonight, nor is there anyone in the ring.
The AXW Undisputed Champion steps into the ring and looks out at the empty seats, knowing they’ll be full of fans booing the hell out of him on Sunday. He walks over to the ropes and tests them before fully leaning on them. He seems to be lost in thought, but his expression changes as he smiles the same sinister smile we’ve seen since his debut. He’s ready for this next challenge.
Caffrey gets tapped on the shoulder and knocks the man who tapped on his shoulder straight onto his ass out of pure instinct. He turns around and realizes that the man was an XHF employee, a young interviewer who foolishly chose to meet Caffrey in the middle of the ring. The champion does not help the interviewer up, instead grabbing at his own hand and verbally ripping him for sneaking up on a man twice his size. When the interviewer makes his way back to his feet, he brushes himself off and dives right into his first question.
INTERVIEWER
We are only a few days away--
ANTHONY CAFFREY
That’s strike two.
INTERVIEWER
What? What was the first strike?
CAFFREY
First, you tried to sneak up on a man who could break every bone in your body. Second, you didn’t even introduce me. I am the AXW Undisputed Champion, show me the goddamned respect I’ve earned.
Caffrey bangs on his championship loudly to make his point heard.
INTERVIEWER
We agreed to this interview, and you never said---
CAFFREY
You know what? Get out. Get out of my ring. Right now. You’re killing my vibe. Go away.
Caffrey shoos away the interviewer. The interviewer tries to put up a fight, but Caffrey clearly isn’t budging on his request. He reaches back in his pocket for his phone and speaks into it.
CAFFREY
Siri, set a timer for 30 seconds.
SIRI
Setting the timer… your timer is set for 30 seconds.
Caffrey holds up his phone directly in the interviewer’s face.
CAFFREY
Get out of my sight before this goes off or I’m going to break your ankle for practice.
The interviewer realizes that his time is already running out. He hightails it out of the ring and up the entrance ramp. Caffrey snickers before looking directly into the camera.
CAFFREY
Did you know I have a good ankle lock?
Caffrey’s quiet chuckle breaks into full-on laughter. He covers his mouth, almost embarrassed at how much he’s laughing at Card.
CAFFREY
Between that and the most tone deaf response I think I’ve ever seen, I think we know where Card stands on the important issues!
Caffrey keeps laughing at Card. He catches himself and finally regains his composure.
CAFFREY
At first I thought you hadn’t cracked, Christopher. I was hoping for some indignant fire about me hitting on your wife, or some heated passion from you about me insisting that you need to retire. Nope. Instead I was treated to some incredibly pedantic explanations that ended with an Annie Get Your Gun parlor trick. Clearly anything I can do, you can do better.
Caffrey mockingly gives Card a golf clap. He rolls his eyes and yawns.
CAFFREY
I was so angry trying to think of how to respond. Do I make fun of your wife? We both know she probably sucked you off like a Dyson to protect her investment after I accused her of being a gold-digger. I called around Canadian retirement homes for you, but then decided I wouldn’t set foot in that God awful country of yours without a title match and a fat paycheck to get me up there.
Caffrey throws his hands up.
CAFFREY
But as it turns out… you really are just a boring fuck. You’re like an older version of one of those Reddit nerds that bases their whole personality on intelligence. You can’t resist the urge to correct me because you live to be right. Your vocabulary somehow manages to be both condescending and also sound for a desperate call for praise at the same time. If I didn’t already, congratulations on knowing big words buddy.
Caffrey’s impolite golf clap returns.
CAFFREY
You don’t see any fault with any of the flashy bullshit you surround yourself with, because to you that mindless consumerism is the correct answer. Those mindless trinkets and that overcompensating yacht are the fruits of your labor, how could they possibly be bad? It’s too high brow of a concept for you. You can have all the toys in the sandbox, but that doesn’t mean other kids are going to want to play with you.
Caffrey snickers at Card.
CAFFREY
But don’t worry little Christopher, you can psychoanalyze them too. Tell you what, why don’t you go look up the words “isolation” and “loneliness” in between the moments you feed your alcoholism?
Caffrey looks down to thumb through an imaginary dictionary and looks back up to correct himself.
CAFFREY
And if you had a social life when you were a little kid? Congrats, I don’t care, but feel free to lecture all of us on it in another attempt to prove me wrong. You’re a man obsessed with answers and accuracy.
Caffrey points out into the crowd.
CAFFREY
Don’t pretend you do this for them. We both know you’re full of shit. We know you do this because you have an obsession with being right. Yes, you are Claude Monet. You’re a boring ass frame of technical perfection that only a snob could love. As you said, I’m Jackson Pollock. I'm emotional, fun, and yet, I'm still the goddamn best at what I do. There’s a reason no one in Guardians of the Galaxy made a Monet reference.
Caffrey flicks an imaginary paintbrush towards the camera. He lowers his hands and gestures for the camera to come in closer.
CAFFREY
Now I had to keep asking myself this: if nothing was setting you off, what would make you tick? I listened to you in the gym, over and over. And just when I thought there was no advantage I could gain mentally, just when I thought you had me here, you emotionless husk of a man…. I was on the treadmill when I heard it.
Caffrey pops out his phone and plays his recording.
CARD
But you’ve got a good ankle lock.
Caffrey plays it again.
CARD
But you’ve got a good ankle lock.
Caffrey puts his phone away and smiles his sinister smile, having found his smoking gun.
CAFFREY
You said it seven times. At first, I thought you were just mocking me. But no, my ankle lock is driving you crazy. The CAL is a beautiful little hold that every wrestling fan has told you about these past weeks. It’s following you around, isn’t it? You go to the grocery store, the woman ringing up your purchases asks you about it. You go to the bar, the bartender asks for your plans. You keep chirping about counters, but it’s only getting louder and louder.
Caffrey is loving this.
CAFFREY
But what about Caffrey’s ankle lock? You admitted it yourself. You get caught firmly in it, you’re done, I win. It’s game over, man. It’s like someone trying to set you up with their ugly friend. You can tell me all about how their cooking is excellent, that they have a great personality, that they’re great with kids… it doesn’t hide the fact that at the end of the day, the girl still looks like the female version of Jeffrey Viper.
Caffrey shudders before snapping back into seriousness.
CAFFREY
You can psychoanalyze me and drop all the SAT words you want. My ankle lock will be waiting for you. My ankle lock is the answer to who wins. I lock it in, I win. I’d explain to you the details, but unlike you, I don’t give a shit about them. I twist, you tap. The bullshit that comes out of your mouth only dictates how long I decide to let you suffer, and you’ve already talked yourself into an overnight stay at the hospital.
The camera backs up to capture more of the ring as Caffrey bangs on his championship before waving his finger in a circle to point out the entire ring.
CAFFREY
In fact, I’LL be waiting. You can keep psychoanalyzing me all you want, Christopher, but on Sunday, you still have to actually wrestle. You still have to get in the ring with The Best. You still have to beat a man who has made every single man he’s fought tap out to the same ankle lock. You still have to beat the AXW Undisputed Champion, the hottest man in this company today. I don’t particularly like the chances of a measly painter against a wrestling emperor.
The Wrestling Emperor goes back to his “only” facial expression -- his sinister smile.
CAFFREY
Christopher, I hope you study hard. I hope you come up with all the answers in the world. Go ahead and reteach yourself how to counter it, how to avoid it, and how to recognize when I’m even thinking about applying my ankle lock. I hope you come up with all the answers, because when test day comes, then I’ll just change the questions. I can not wait to see how fast your face changes when you slip out of the CAL, I kick you in the balls, and then drive your head into the mat with the Brotherly Love for the three count.
Instead of bringing his hands together for a submission, Caffrey uses his hands to tap out a three count. He laughs and takes a final look around the arena. His usual cockiness and confidence has fully returned. He gestures for the camera to come in one more time. He whispers, as if he was telling a secret.
CAFFREY
Don’t tell Christopher, but as it turns out, I also have a pretty damn good everything else.
The camera fades to black.
