New Years Nightmare 2017

[SWAT Team]

The lights go out and the opening fanfare of "Entrance of the Gladiators" by Julis Fucik starts to play. After the introduction, before the famous melody can begin, there is the sound of a record scratching, then the maniacal laughter that only an evil clown can produce fills the air. The laughter ends abruptly and there is a second of awkward, uncomfortable silence before "Halloween (Celldweller remix) cuts through the quiet.

Red lights illuminate the entranceway and their are noticable fumbling motions behind the curtain before Beelzebozo finally emerges from the back.

His ill-fitting suit looking like he slept in it the last three days, porkpie hat perched precariously on top of his shock of red hair, and lit cigar in his mouth, the Clown From Hell stumbles down the aisle, cursing at women, spitting at men, and threatening to backhand little kids that try to touch him.

His everpresent Sack slung over one hunched shoulder, the bag of mischief bulging from the vile treasures within, Beelzebozo shambles down to the ring.

He puts his Sack down in the corner, and pulls out a balloon, stretching it repeatedly before blowing into it and quickly shaping it into a flawless giraffe. Beelzebozo hands the giraffe to a small girl at ringside and takes a deep bow as the crowd gives him a small smattering of applause.

The Clown Prince of Chaos then takes his lit cigar from his mouth and jabs the giraffe with it, the small balloon animal exploding. The girl bursts into tears and the angry crowd throws garbage at Beelzebozo as he stumbles into the ring, ready for his match to begin.

Frank Salazar : Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is scheduled for ONE fall!!! And is for the SWAT Atlantic Coast Heavyweight Championship!

Introducing first, hailing from Huntington, West Virginia and coming in at 6’2 and 265 pounds .... BEELZEBOZO!!!!!

Evil green mist bellows out of the ring entrance as a woman screams and Psychotic Goth laughing maniacally. "Welcome To Your Death" by Annihilator plays and Psychotic Goth comes down to ringside in chains, he ignores the ringsiders and stops at the ring for the attendant to unlock the chains and Psychotic Goth rubs his wrists hard as he climbs the ring steps and enters the ring and stands in his corner.

He slowly takes off his trench coat and jewellery before he lowers his head and raises his arms before throwing his head back revealing his pale handsome Goth like looks looking and snarling like a demonic maniac crazed and intimidating as he is handling his homemade weapon and he caresses it before placing it in his corner.

Frank Salazar : AND Introducing his opponent, the current SWAT ATLANTIC COAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION .... Hailing from The Depths of Hell and coming in at 6’5 and 235 pounds .... PSYCHOTIC GOTH!!!!!!!

Jeremy Tucker : Here we go folks, the first of two main event title matches, and what a show we have had for you all so far.

Andrew Fulton : Viper Vs Soutter was off the charts!

Jeremy Tucker : These two have been making digs to one another for a while now, leading to this confrontation, it was no surprise Beelze selected Goth and the ACW title after winning the Helloween Cup.

Andrew Fulton : The bell rings and this one is under way, both men circling each other warily, id be wary too, you got a loon goth mad man and a screwed up clown with enough problems for a whole team of quacks, gotta love them both.

Jeremy Tucker : They are both two of the best wrestlers going around, no doubt, they lock up and Goth powers Bozo to the corner, he then nails him with a hard open hand chop.

Andrew Fulton : Ouch. Bozo shakes it off and delivers a big chop off his own.

Jeremy Tucker : Another big chop from Goth .... Bozo with a thumb to the eye.

Andrew Fulton : Will stop anything that! Bozo then with a big head butt, and now an inverted atomic drop!

Jeremy Tucker : Goth down, but recovers and sweeps the legs of Bozo, then Bozo quick to his feet, Goth catches him by the waist, goes for a wheelbarrow slam, spinning into a hot shot on the ropes! Psychoplex!!

Andrew Fulton : Devastating! Bozo clutching his throat, and Goth going to town with some brutal stomps, he then whips Bozo into the corner, follows in with a clothesline, Bozo down, and Goth tying him up in the Tree of Woe!

Jeremy Tucker : Running dropkick by Goth! Breaks the tree of woe and Goth drops for a cover .................... One ................. Tw ... kick out by Beelzebozo.

Andrew Fulton : Early cover there. How about Goth’s appearance on Triple V’s Pythons Pit? Triple V was right on the money, Goth has had NO support from management with the disappearance of his wife. And them comments by Soutter earlier were very offensive.

Jeremy Tucker : He was making it clear Fulton, that he and the KGB have no involvement in the disappearance. What about that video footage we saw, was that a clown in there?

Andrew Fulton : I’m not sure Jerry. All i know is, when Goth finds her, and he WILL find her, god help who has had her and been screwing with him all this time.

Jeremy Tucker : Beelzebozo hooks Goth, SMALL PACKAGE! He has the tights!! One ............ Two ... Goth breaks the count.

Andrew Fulton : Goth didn’t like that and WHAM! He just ate a swinging neck breaker from Bozo!

Jeremy Tucker : Beelze on the offense now, stomping away on Goth. Fist drop, DiBiase style!

Andrew Fulton : Side headlock from Beelze, he is taunting and mocking Goth, and the crowd.

Jeremy Tucker : The poor crowd, they don’t know who they want to lose this one more. Goth powers to his feet whiles still in the headlock, runs Beelze into the ropes, leap frog from Goth ... Bozo bounces off them again, dives at Goth with a cross body!!

Andrew Fulton : No! Goth caught him! FALL AWAY SLAM! Into the turnbuckle and thru the ropes to the outside!

Jeremy Tucker : Beelze struggles back to his feet .... base ball slide from Goth, sends Beelze flying into the security rail!

Andrew Fulton : Goth slides out of the ring, he is incensed. He needs anger management.

Jeremy Tucker : His wife has been kidnapped Fulton. Beelze clutches his back and tries to run at Goth, Hip Toss!!! Sends Beelze back first onto the ring apron!

Andrew Fulton : He is a mad man Goth. He grabs the steel steps, and holds them over his head and then rams them down into the back of Beelzebozo!

Jeremy Tucker : Goth shrieks in anger and hurls the steps, he then tosses Beelze back into the ring, rolls in after him and covers him ............... One .................. Two .... kick out by Beelze!

Andrew Fulton : Bozo rolls the shoulder, but he is hurting.

Jeremy Tucker : Goth picks him up and lifts him in a Crucifix, Bozo slides down the back and delivers a desperation low blow.

Andrew Fulton : Bozo with a short arm clothesline!

Jeremy Tucker : Beelzebozo nails a belly to back suplex! He is back in control, but still feeling the sore back.

Andrew Fulton : Not for long Jerry, magic cure right there.

He crawls over to the corner and grabs a flask from his sack, and gulps some down.

Jeremy Tucker : Beelze magically seems to instantly forget his sore back, Goth heads towards him, and Bozo wallops him with his sack!

Andrew Fulton : Merry Xmas Goth!

Jeremy Tucker : Bozo then reaches in his sack, pulls out a big wrapped box, and clobbers Goth with it over the head. Wow, it was a case of beer!

Andrew Fulton : What a waste! Bozo! I never thought you had it in you!

Jeremy Tucker : Anything to win the gold Fulton. Bozo grabs a can that pinched open when he smashed it over Goth and shot gun skulls it, then Sandman rams it into the head of Goth, and Goth is busted open!

Andrew Fulton : Bozo goes back into his sack, and he has a balloon. Look Jerry, he is making a balloon dog, awwwww, how cute.

Jeremy Tucker : Beelzebozo then goes over, has a puff on his cigar and drops some ash on Goth then brandishes the dog in the air, and the crowd cheer and all scream if they can have it, but he gives it to Goth. Goth holds it in his hands surprised, and WHAM! Beelzebozo clobbers him with a big right hand, and another and another and another and another and another!

Andrew Fulton : Happy New Year Goth!

Jeremy Tucker : Bozo Irish whips Goth into the corner and follows in with a big running avalanche splash!! He grabs the balloon dog and slides outside and hands it to a small child who is thrilled. Bozo then squeezes and pops it and the kids loses it and starts bawling, crying his eyes out. Bozo laughs at him and the crowd scream at him.

Andrew Fulton : (laughing with Bozo) Ohhh Man! That is too much!

Jeremy Tucker : You “would’ think so. Goth is back to his feet and he has followed Bozo to the outside ..... ELECTRIC CHAIR! Goth just Electric chaired Bozo on the outside!

Andrew Fulton : Goths eyes roll back in his head and he bellows again, then dives on Bozo and locks on a Tazmission.

Jeremy Tucker : Referee Bo Brady telling him he gotta get back in the ring.

Andrew Fulton : I don’t think he even understands at this point.

Jeremy Tucker : Brady screaming at him to release the hold or he will be dq’d. Goth completely disregarding him, don’t tell me we are gonna get a screw job dq finish? Not at our final show for the year!

Andrew Fulton : Bozo reaches under the ring, and pulls out his cigar which must have rolled down there and rams it onto the forehead of Goth, burning him and breaking the hold.

Jeremy Tucker : He rolls Goth into the ring and then slaps his knee several times, measuring Goth ... As Goth starts to get up, Bozo runs across the ring and hits a running knee lift to the head.

Andrew Fulton : Devastating!

Jeremy Tucker : Cover from Bozo ................ One ..................... Two ................... Th .. kickout by Goth.

Andrew Fulton : Goth out of no where dragonscrew leg sweep into an ankle lock!

Jeremy Tucker : Bozo makes it to the ropes. He then rolls himself thru them and Goth with him.

Andrew Fulton : Both tumble to the floor.

Jeremy Tucker : Goth grabs Bozo and he wraps him in a bear hug, then rams him back first into the ring post. Goth then rolls Bozo back into the ring.

Andrew Fulton : Goth snake eyes Beelze onto the top turnbuckle and then enziguries him!

Jeremy Tucker : BLACK DEATH! Goth hoists Beelze up in an airplane spin, twirls him around and demo’s him with a Death Valley Driver!

Andrew Fulton : Wow! Goth signals that’s it! And he is gonna put Bozo away Jerry!

The SWAT Tron flickers and we see footage of Vampira on it, tied up and gagged, bruised and bleeding. Goth stares at the Tron, trembling in rage, and WHAM! Low blow from Bozo!

Jeremy Tucker : Bozo with a low blow! He jumps on the back of Goth, SLEEPER HOLD! WHISKEY LULLABY!!!

Andrew Fulton : Did Bozo have that footage played Jerry?

Jeremy Tucker : Goth is still filled with rage and trembling, but its working against him with the sleeper and he is down on the mat, all of Beelzebozo’s weight riding him.

Andrew Fulton : He is out Jerry! Goth has just gone to sleep!

Jeremy Tucker : Referee Brady checking on the arm of Goth, the wrestler of the year for 2017! And it drops Once. Twice ........................ THREE TIMES!!! That’s it! Goth is out! BEELZEBOZO IS THE NEW ATLANTIC COAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!!

"Halloween theme" (Celldweller remix.) blares thru the arena and Brady hands the belt to Bozo! He looks at it, shocked, then rolls out of the ring with it. The thrill of victory encapsulating him.

Frank Salazar : WINNER, AND NEW ATLANTIC COAST HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION ...... BEELZEBOZO!!!!!

Andrew Fulton : Well done Buster! Well done indeed!

Jeremy Tucker : What a match, congrats to both, Buster on a fantastic finish to the year and Goth, all year long he has been the stand out, winning the wrestler of the year.

Andrew Fulton : Not any more Jerry, we got some new dogs in town.

Jeremy Tucker : 2018 come at us! Up next, our main event. Daniel Collins Vs Timeless! Loser Leaves ACW.

[SWAT Team]

You came to me
In a dream last night

Turner with a dragon suplex on Daniel Collins at Rio.

You were standing
In a brilliant light

At Homecoming...

Andrew Fulton : Marcus White now pointing to Kilroy and the crowd going off tap!! On the outside, Collins shoves Alex Turner, and he shoves him back.

One minute here
But the next you were gone

At Anarchy, Turner pulls Collins up and pulls Collins up to his shoulder. He goes for a modified Turnabout!

I thought you could stay
But I was so wrong

Next Anarchy;

Chad : Collins blocking Turners exit path. And Turner tells him to get out of here, BAM! European uppercut from Collins to Turner, Collins then grabs Turner and runs him back down the ramp and throws him back into the ring.

Winfield : He has no right to be out here! This is a disgrace!

Chad : Trying to walk out of a match, that is a disgrace!

Winfield : Roxy is incensed! She is in the face of Daniel Collins and screaming at him, berating him. Collins reaches down in the front of her blouse, and pulls out Turner’s participation ribbon.

Turner eats a Nightmare Lariat and a loss to Andrew Karnage, and later that night, has Collins arrested for sexual assault during his match with Syberus.

The End is heeerrrreee
The game is OOOOverrr

At the first Turmoil, Turner handcuffs Collins to the ring ropes in order to win a steel cage match, and proceeds to beat him senseless with a chair after the match is over.

No more pretending

During the International Title Tourny, Turner helps Collins beat Brian Miles with brass knucks.

No more

During the Slain Asylum;

Ace: Dark Phoenix delivers a vicious right shot, but Goth ducks and Phoenix knocks out Alex Turner with the brass knuckles.

NO MOOOORRREEE

At the Anzac Cup;

Stefan: Turner just nailed Collins in the face with what looks like a pair of brass knuckles! Alex drops down and starts driving fist shots into Collins face with those knuckles.

**A heavy guitar kicks in. **
THE END IS HEEERRRREEE

THE END IS HEERRREE

At Turmoil during Collins' title defense against Turner;

Ace Scorpio: Daniel Collins using the ropes to pull himself up and Turner marches over towards Collins and cocks his fist back getting ready to fire a shot. Brady has spotted the brass knuckles and he’s going to call for a DQ. Turner pleading with him not to and Roxy has just come into the ring. Roxy on her knees in front of Brady’s crotch begging him not to call for a disqualification. Turner pleading his case and Roxy flirting hard with the referee. Collins crawling over and rolls Alex Turner up and pulling the tights plain as day.

THE END IS HEEERRRREEE

At Helloween;

Ace Scorpio: Dark Phoenix grabs a chair and waffles the back of Alex Turners neck with it repeatedly. Dark Phoenix has placed several chairs and light tubes over the back of Alex Turner. Phoenix standing on the top turnbuckle and hits a frog splash driving the light tubes and shattered glass into the back of Alex Turner. Dark Phoenix back to his feet and rearranges the chairs turner Alex Turner into a barbed wire chair sandwich. The champ points up to the sky and climbs the turnbuckles. He stretches out his arms and hits the Phoenix splash, rolling over for the cover.


ONE....................



TWO..................



THREE!!!!!




Jax Carver: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dark Phoenix stole a pinfall and I’m not happy about this!!! I’m not ready to see Roxy leave yet.

THE END IS HEEERRRREEE

Finally at the last Turmoil;

Ace Scorpio : Kilroy telling Brady to get her out of here .... over the railing jumps Timeless! He slides into the ring, up behind Daniel .... and blasts him with a hard right that drops Daniel like a sack of spuds!

Jax Carver : Timeless is thrilled with himself, and holds up his fist to the crowd showing his brass knuckles on it. What a shot!

Ace Scorpio : Not like this! Collins can’t lose the belt like this, surely!

Jax Carver : Timeless then runs at Kilroy Evans and blasts him also with the brass knuckles! Good night!

Ace Scorpio : Timeless has just completely wrecked what was a great an even match up. He stomps on Kilroy, then mounts Daniels chest and delivers a few more shots with the knuckles .... Referee Brady has separated himself from Roxy and see’s all of this take place ... and signals for the bell! That's it they've called this one a No Contest, as Turner lays into Kilroy, shouting something about how some part-time fart won't take his title?

*Timeless drapes Daniel over the bottom rope, grabbing his head and looking out into the crowd. He's yelling into the nearest camera, saying "I'm your New Years Nightmare Collins! That belt's mine!"

THE END IS HEEERRRREEE

Finally, after all that, a promo image of the Brutality Cage; Full steel bars that are wrapped in barbed wire. Enclosed with a top. A variety of weapons either taped or tied to the bars, including hanging off the top.

[SWAT Team]

Jeremy Tucker: It's time for the MAIN EVENT OF THE EVENING.

Andrew Fulton: Roxy's catwalk!!

Jeremy Tucker: C'mon Fulton. Aren't you even the least bit interested in what this match has in store for us?

Andrew Fulton: Roxy's catwalk!!!!

Jeremy Tucker: *sighs*

The scene shoots to the ramp way as the arena lights drop to a dark orange. A fast montage of HPWA Commisioner Phoenix plays.

*GONG!* Fog rolls out and a circle of fire lights on the stage. A flash shot of TKOW showrunner Phoenix is shown.

*GONG!* A deep voice booms out "Time to Rise!" as the tron lights up with fiery lettering spelling out "Rise Like the Phoenix", and a flash shot of Phoenix crushing Cobryn with a steel chair.

*GONG!* The stage and turnbuckles explode with flame pyro as The Tron lights up and the lights get real low. On the screen, a simple graphic as blares out, and fast motion clips play of Phoenix delivering the Phoenix Driver to a bevy of opponents, including D-Matic, Matt Griffen, Soutter, Adam Haven, Johnny Styles, RDS, Syberus, Clench, Dustin Hughes, Dan Stein, Tobias Burden, Dave Rave, Mars, Soulfly, Dusty Dynamite, and Jace Mingla.

Phoenix makes his way out from backstage, dark red and orange ref shirt on over his ring gear, black cloth mask and a PowerCo HeeadCam, and the crowd roars seeing his black metal bat in his hand. Phoenix begins making his way down towards the ring as the haze dissipates, arms outstretched, playing up the crowd with a smirk.

Jeremy Tucker: The President is out to ringside, as promised. Victorious earlier tonight against the Knife Edge, managing to sort of keep the Backyard crew at bay, he has decided that this match deserves ALL his remaining attention.

Andrew Fulton: He's just trying to push his kid.

*Phoenix fishes a remote out and clicks a button, putting a picture-in-picture on the 'Tron, showing the view from his HeadCam. The section of screen is outlined in fire. The shot looks up at the menacing Brutality Cage as another button press begins lowering it down. Just from the distant shot, we make out a few chairs, kendo sticks, golf clubs, tables, plates of glass, and even a ladder attached to the cage. In the ring are two poles attached to either corner with brass knucks hanging off of them, as well as a sealed crate that has "SURPRISE!" stamped on the side.*

Frank Salazar: The following match, is scheduled for ONE FALL, and is a HPWA BRUTALITY CAGE MATCH FOR THE SWAT INTERNATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP. By Brutality rules, a winner can only be decided when their opponent fails to answer a ten-count by either referee on the outside of the cage. Introducing first, he is the former, and final, HPWA Brutality Champion, he is the President of SWAT. HE. IS. PHHOOEEEEEEEENNNIIIXXXXXXXXX.

Jeremy Tucker: The crowd loves them some Phoenix.

Andrew Fulton: He's just the same suck-up he's always been, The crowds just a bunch of idiots.

Turner struts down the aisle, glaring at the crowd with contempt and disgust.]

Frank Salazar: And now, the challenger. From New Hope, Minnesotta. Standing six three and weighing in at two hundred sisty two pounds, accompanied by RRRRRRRROXXXYYYY. He is Timeless. ALLLLEEEEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXX TURRNNEERRRRRRRR!!

[Roxy stops to interact with one of the crowd, then wretches and turns away heading to the ring, she gets up on the apron and holds the ropes down for Turner who saunters smugly around the ring impressed with himself.]

Phoenix: Is it bad if I go in there now and just, clock them both with the bat?

Andrew Fulton: GOD?!

Jeremy Tucker: Uh, not quite.

Phoenix: Close enough.

Jeremy Tucker: I did not realize you would be providing commentary as well this evening sir.

Phoenix: I can't just meander around the ring all night. Enforcer or not, it's gonna get old fast. I just hacked the ol' HeadCam into the announce system while they were queuing up my music.

Andrew Fulton: Does that mean I need to watch what I say?

Phoenix: You haven't tried yet, why start now?

Andrew Fulton: Yay!

Jeremy Tucker: That wasn't exactly what h-

Andrew Fulton: Shaddup Tucker I'm taking it and running.

starts as the lights fade to to an eerie orange glow. 30 seconds in the heavy beat kicks off with a blackened flame burst as the Tron shows the old Phoenix symbol cracked and burnt, flashes of Collins in the backdrop. At a minute the song cranks up and Dark Phoenix makes his way out of the back. He simply moves to the top of the ramp, eyes aglow, head tilting back as his arms open wide to absorb the sounds of the crowd.

Frank Salazar: And now, from Red Bank, New Jersey, standing six four and weighing in at two hundred forty three pounds, he is Daniel Collins, the DARK, PHHHOOEEENNNNNIIXXXXXXXXX.

He walks down to the ring as the flame bursts continue, eyeing Phoenix. He climbs the steps, turns and regards the crowd before removing the International Title from his waist and tossing it at his father before getting in the ring.

*Phoenix shoulders the belt and yells for Roxy to vacate the ring so he can finish dropping the cage. Roxy blows a kiss his way and struts over to Collins, a wicked smile on her face. Before she can do anything however, the Dark One grabs her by the hair and tosses her through the ropes before pointing up at the cage a mere foot above their heads, then pointing at Turner before ripping off his hood to reveal a Rorschach mask over his usual Dark Phoenix mask!!

Phoenix: *chuckling* Ok yeah that's a good one kid.

*He presses the button and the cage finishes lowering as Turner flexes his new robot hand and the two men survey the cage. We now see more of the weapons; a computer keyboard, weight bar, music stand, trombone, oboe, even a couple Tapei sticks. Turner immediately grabs a Tapei stick and tests a few swings but stops short as Dark Phoenix pulls loose an Ultra Saber and lights it up. It glows dark red as he moves forward and motions for Turner to come at him. Bro.*

Phoenix: I said I accepted the duel. I didn't exactly say WHO would be dueling...

*The two men begin circling each other mid-ring, taking light swings, challenging the others defenses. Overhead here, stab there, until Dark Phoenix opens up with a flurry of strikes! Turner gets backed up towards the crate in the corner but finds an opening when Dark Phoenix gets too overzealous, spins and scrapes the stick across his back, leaving a couple light cuts. In response, Dark flares up and backhand strikes Turner in the side of the head with the Saber blade, stunning him, then slams the blade down on his head so forcefully the thing actually cracks!*

Phoenix: Oof! Those things are crazy strong. Guess Turner really is that thick-headed.

Jeremy Tucker: Dark Phoenix with another overhead strike but Timeless grabs the blade and crushes it with that new robot hand!

*Pieces of the blade falling around his arm, Turner laughs and raises the Tapei stick, swinging for Dark Phoenix's midsection. Dark steps into it and captures the stick at his side, only to have Turner punch him dead in the face with the robot hand!*

Andrew Fulton: KNOCKOUT PUNwhy isn't Dark Phoenix reeling that makes no sense...

Jeremy Tucker: Am I the only one that remembers he has a heavy duty Jason-X style mask under there?

Andrew and Phoenix: Yes.

Jeremy Tucker: Well, there. He's got protection.

Andrew Fulton: Ohhhh and he's double wrapped cause Roxy's here right??

Phoenix: Now you're getting it.

*The HeadCam P-I-P shows a close-up of Dark Phoenix bringing his head back down after the punch and you can make out a slow laugh coming from the champion. Turner, looking perplexed, hits him again! Dark Phoenix's head again snaps backwards but just as quickly back into place as he starts moving forwards, causing Turner to back up slowly. Another shot, another double snap, and the champs laugh only grows louder. A third hit, a third set of snaps, and Dark Phoenix rips the Tapei stick from Turners grasp and flings it away. Laughing loud, slow, deliberate "HA. HA. HA."'s in Timeless' face, Dark Phoenix swings his head forward for a nasty headbutt, reeling Turner back into the corner. Grimacing, Turner explodes out, ducking a lariat and slamming his new fist into his opponents solar plexus, cutting off the laughter as he struggles to take his next breath, dropping to a knee.*

Jeremy Tucker: Looks like he finally learned and went for an unprotected area.

Andrew Fulton: Would a robot hand be considered a foreign object?

Phoenix: The whole match is foreign objects Fulton.

Andrew Fulton: I know that!!

*Turner laughs now, blowing a kiss to Roxy who snatches it and puts it down the front of her barely-there dress. He runs his hand over a couple of the weapons, as if deciding what to use next, but in doing so misses the champ climbing the ropes and grabbing a set of brass knucks. As Dark Phoenix drops back to the mat, Turner smirks and holds up his new hand, showing off like a hand model. He turns back to his staggering adversary and comes in with another low aimed punch, but Dark Phoenix meets him with a brass knuck loaded punch of his own! Fist to fist, the knucks canceling out the metal of his new hand, Turner's shocked as the champ wastes no time dragging him into a snap suplex. Stowing the knucks away in his jorts, he takes a baking sheet down off the cage and lets Turner get to his knees before crashing it over his skull. As he drops, the champ keeps up the attack, dropping the sheet and curbstomping him facefirst into the metal on the mat.*


ONE


Jeremy Tucker: Dark Phoenix back to the ca- no he's looking above him! Looks like he wants that weight bar!


TWO


Andrew Fulton: I don't care what he wants, so long as he wants to hurt Turner with it!


THREE


Phoenix: That's the spirit!


FOUR


Andrew Fulton: Oh I don't care if Turner gets something of his own. CARNAGE! MAYHEM!!


FIVE


*Dark Phoenix has the weight bar in hand and begins twirling it ninja style, making quite a show of it as Turner groggily gets to his feet, ending the count. He's noticed by the champion, who swings out of a flourish and*

Jeremy Tucker: Turner catches the bar one handed! What luck for him to have that thing for this match.

Andrew Fulton: Unlucky for Collins how his father is responsible for that happening.

Phoenix: It's not my fault Yoda had a cyborg hand sitting around. Or the ability to attach it.

Or exists.

Jeremy Tucker: Turner manages to bend that bar a little bit and yanks Dark Phoenix forward into an exploder suplex. Roxy outside of the cage cheering Turner on as he throws the bar down and yanks a table free.

*Turner sets up the table and grabs a chair, bending it over the champs back with three heavy shots. Going back he sets up the table and contemplates a large sheet of plate glass.*


ONE


TWO


Jeremy Tucker: Turner forgoes the glass and drags Dark Phoenix up, lifting him over his shoulder for what must be a Turn Me Loose Dark Phoenix flips out of it and shoves Turner into the table Turner turns back and eats a swinging neckbreaker.

*Dark Phoenix immediately drags Turner up and into a gutwrench aimed at the table, but Turner slides over and reverses it into a tornado DDT that cracks Dark Phoenix's masked forehead through the table, breaking a small chunk. He pulls the champ up enough to arm drag him across the ring, sending him rolling into the mystery crate. Dark Phoenix groans and grabs the crate, swinging it and connecting with a charging Turner, cracking one side. He drops it and back bodydrops Turner directly on the crate, cracking it open more.*


ONE


TWO


Jeremy Tucker: I wonder what's in there?

Andrew Fulton: The world may NEVER know.


THREE


Phoenix: It's Soutter's Mom. Naked.

Andrew Fulton: The world should never know.


FOUR


*Dark Phoenix snatches up the second tapei stick and brings it down hard across Turner's back multiple times, leaving a number of gashes. He straddles Turner in a modifyed Camel Clutch and pulls the tapei stick across his throat, choking him out while the glass shards cut into his neck.*

Jeremy Tucker: Dark Phoenix drops the stick and gets off of Turner, letting the ref do his job.

ONE

Andrew Fulton: Roxy no come back here!!

Phoenix: What's this crazy chick doing NOW?


FIVE


*Roxy begins climbing the fully sealed cage, much to Phoenix's utter disbelief.*

Phoenix: It's not like she can get in.


SIX


*In the ring, Dark Phoenix had hold of a music stand but is starting at Roxy, head tilted to one side. She gets just over halfway up and stops to flash the occupants of the cage, that being Dark Phoenix! The champ recoils in shock As Turner takes a trombone upside the back of his skull. He crashes to the mat as Roxy giggles and waves to the crowd, many of whose men are taking picture after picture.*


ONE


TWO


*Wrenching the battered chair open, Turner sets the music stand upright and sits down with the trombone, and starts playing "New. Day Rocks", to which Roxy bobs along yelling "Time! Less rocks!".*


THREE


Jeremy Tucker: I don't know what he was trying, but he's the the crowd singing along!

Phoenix: Oh yeah he does. "Time. Less sucks. Time. Less sucks," Good job there.


FOUR


Jeremy Tucker: As he plays, hes sliding the bar into the back of Dark Phoenix's head with each note. Just insulting the guy!


FIVE


*At six, Dark Phoenix takes the music stand and catches Turner on the side of the head. Turner barely keeps to his feet but loses the trombone stumbling. He manages to arm drag the champ again, and once more bouncing him off the recent performance gear, before hitting a gutwrench suplex onto the trombone.*


ONE


TWO


*Curious, he takes the music stand and begins prying open the cracked sides of the crate.*


THREE


Andrew Fulton: Tell me it's not REALLY his mom naked, will ya boss? Do that for me?


FOUR


Jeremy Tucker: I seriously doubt that crate would have moved that easily if it was anyones Mom.


FIVE


Andrew Fulton: Good point, good point. But what if...

*Turner gets the crate pried open and pumps his fist. SIX... Inside the crate is a canvas sack and a note. Placing the sack on the floor, he opens the note. SEVEN... His eyes twist up in confusion and he looks at Phoenix, back to the note, now back to Phoenix, who has him firmly planted dead center of the HeadCam. Dropping the note he kneels down and opens the sack and*


EIGHT


Jeremy Tucker: Oh he just wretched inside the cage!

Andrew Fulton: IT WAS HIS MOM!!

*Dark Phoenix looks over at the doubled-over form of Turner from his spot on the ropes and stumbles his way. He grabs the note, also looks at Phoenix and crumples it up before opening the sack. A sudden, rather normal, laughter explodes from Dark Phoenix and he shakes his head before swinging the sack up and crashing it down across Turner's back, dropping him into his own vomit!!*

Jeremy Tucker: Dark Phoenix upending the sack... It's the sex toy bag! I can't believe that thing still exists!


ONE


Andrew Fulton: I am not shocked. Phoenix is fucking WEIRD.


TWO


Phoenix: I can hear you.

Andrew Fulton: I was talking about your son?


THREE


Phoenix: ...yeah ok he really is.

Andrew Fulton: *sighs*


FOUR


*Turner pushes himself up, noting he's in a pile of dildos and puke, and punches the canvas. He turns and grabs a keyboard and smashes it over Dark Phoenix's back, sending keys flying. Dropping to a knee, he reaches up and chokes Dark Phoenix with the robot hand, screaming obscenities at him. He ribs the Rorshach mask off, revealing the hockey/Jason type bloody mask underneath. He tears that off as well, throwing it to the side, and the champ, face reddening as he can't breath, defiantly stares him down. Turner yells and picks him up and delivers the Turn Me Loose facefirst into the pile of dildos and puke!!*

Jeremy Tucker: Timeless getting some revenge for his earlier humiliation. He cannot be happy having to have gone through that.

*Roxy is off the cage and has managed to talk a Hells Bouncer shirt off a fan. She throws it in the ring and Turner wipes himself off as best he can, not realizing the Dark Phoenix hasn't stayed down. The champ pulls down small sheet of glass and waits on Turner to finish, turn and CRASH shatters it over his head, dropping him to a knee. Wasting no time, he hits a shining wizard and flattens Turner on the mat. Looking over he decides to grab the large plate glass that Turner skipped earlier and adds it to the table as the ref reaches FIVE.*


SIX


He goes back and pulls Turner to his feet, but Timeless breaks free and starts throwing punches. Dark Phoenix absorbs the regular hits while deflecting the robot hand, and Turner pushes off, hits the ropes and goes for a dropkick that the champ avoids.*

Jeremy Tucker: Dark Phoenix falling dropkick to Turners head misses, both men up and Turner whips Dark Phoenix, arm drag, Dark Phoenix recovers and leg drags Turner who tried to kick him, Turner with another arm drag, Dark Phoenix with a leg drag...

*Arm drag, leg drag, arm drag, leg drag, hip toss he lands off the ropes dual dropkicks cancel each other out, again the dropkick and cancel, fisherman bomb from Turner onto the baking sheet, champ no sells and hits an impact ddt onto the same baking sheet and both men are down!*


ONE


Jeremy Tucker: What an exchange! After the beatings they've already endured, to still have that in the tank, just amazing.


TWO


Andrew Fulton: Almost makes you sad after this match one won't be here anymore. Almost.


THREE


*Roxy is yelling for Turner to get up and Phoenix is on the opposite side right up against the cage. Both men stagger up and Turner grabs Dark Phoenix and throws him into the barbed wire cage with his right arm. As he bounces off, Turner grabs him agains but Dark Phoenix reverses and throws HIM into the cage with his left! As Turner staggers back, scrapes on his face and chest, he grabs Dark Phoenix and cages him again! Dazed, Dark Phoenix again returns the favor. Now both leaning on the ropes for support, Turner grabs the champ and bounces his head off the steel bar, only to have Dark Phoenix do the same. Simply holding onto each others hair, they each crash into the steel a few more times before both getting smashed at once and finally falling off the ropes into a tangled mess on the mat.*


ONE


TWO


THREE


Jeremy Tucker: Pretty sure strategy when out the window awhile back.


FOUR


Andrew Fulton: I'm pretty sure the only strategy for either man was PAIN.


FIVE


Jeremy Tucker: You know what? You're probably right. You saw that video package.


SIX


Andrew Fulton: Like I needed that to know how bad these two hate each other.


SEVEN


*Turner stirs and manages to push himself free of Dark Phoenix.*


EIGHT


Jeremy Tucker: Turner using a kendo stick to pull himself up... Dark Phoenix to the ropes and both men looking to beat that ten...


NINE


*Turner is up and frees the kendo stick. He slowly staggers towards Dark Phoenix, who is lying over the top rope getting his bearings, and lays into the back of his arm. Shot after shot, arm to arm, finally dropping the stick and arm dragging him off the ropes and into an arm breaker.*

Jeremy Tucker: I don't know that Turnabout is the best way to win this match.

Andrew Fulton: If it hurts him enough he's not going to be able to hit him with the Phoenix Breaker.

Jeremy Tucker: *impressed* Good call Fulton.

*Turner wrenches back as Dark Phoenix stretches and finds a tapei stick. He uses his fingers to pull it forward enough to grab it and smack Turner in the face over and over until he releases the hold. The champ backs off and rubs at his arm, keeping the tapei stick close. Turner pulls the ladder free and charges Dark Phoenix, who barely rolls out of the way, causing him to slam the ladder into the ringpost and lose his grip. Dark Phoenix slips through the ropes and hits the Darkforce, sending Turner reeling and knocking him face first onto the ladder. He takes down another chair and lays it over Turners back before climbing the turnbuckle that the ladder sits under. Motioning, he leaps off...*

Jeremy Tucker: PHOENIX SPLASH NO!!!! Turner moves and the champion hits nothing but metal ladder!!

*The Tron replays the crash and burn from both the regular view and the HeadCam, watching Dark Phoenix bounce hard off the ladder and fall off to the canvas.*


ONE


TWO


THREE


FOUR


*Turner starts dragging Dark Phoenix towards the next corner, where the table and glass are still waiting. He props Dark Phoenix on the rope and cimbs up to the top, pulling Dark Phoenix along after.*

Jeremy Tucker: Turner's hooking a suplex... He's not going for that Falcon Arrow is he??

Andrew Fulton: PLEASE BE A FALCON ARROW YOU CAN DO IT!!!

Jeremy Tucker: Has the champ u- no blocked! Couple of kidney shots up NO blocked again! A few more and he's up but Dark Phoenix kicks off the cage ceiling and falls back down to the ropes and he's kidney shotting with those brass knucks he stowed earlier! Dark Phoenix underneath PHOENIX DRIVER!! PHOENIX DRIVER THROUGH THE GLASS AND THE TABLE HOLY SHIT!!

Andrew Fulton: FUCK EM UP CHAMP!!


ONE


TWO


THREE


Jeremy Tucker: Roxy SCREAMING at a prone Turner, Dark Phoenix also not moving...


FOUR


FIVE


*Turner rolls over and see Roxy as Dark Phoenix is pulling himself back into the corner. Roxy reaches in her dress and slides something in to Turner.*


SIX


SEVEN


Phoenix: Oh no not this time...

*Phoenix moves over to where Dark Phoenix is and points Turner's way, warning him, and unlocks his manriki-gusari from his waist. He sticks his arm through and Dark Phoenix looks at it, but refuses to take the ninja chain.*


EIGHT


Jeremy Tucker: Phoenix yelling now at his kid and yes it looks like Turner has those handcuffs again! That's how he won the cage match last time!


NINE


*Turner uses the weightbar to shakily stand up as Dark Phoenix snatches the manriki-gusari and pulls himself up with the ropes. Turner nods at Roxy and turns with the bar but takes a chain shot to the face! Dark Phoenix wields his father's weapon and circles it around the wrist holding the bar, yanking him forward and offbalance. A quick jab to the temple still holding the brass knucks and the cuffs fall to the mat, and Dark Phoenix lifts him up backwards and nails a Phoenix Breaker onto the ladder!!*


ONE


Jeremy Tucker: That could do it!


TWO


Andrew Fulton: So many things could have done it so far and look where we're at now.


THREE


FOUR


*Dark Phoenix wraps the manriki-gusari around Turner's legs and the ladder and locks it together.*


FIVE


*He retrieves the cuffs and holds them high to the roar of the crowd and collapses to his knees.*


SIX


*Slowly crawling, Turner begins to stir.*


SEVEN


*He gets to Turners arms and locks one cuff before Turner realizes what's happening. He reaches under and locks his other arm in the cuff, attaching him to the ladder. Turner tries to move but realizes he's stuck, and stares daggers through Dark Phoenix as the champion picks his mask up and holds it aloft.*


EIGHT


Jeremy Tucker: Dark Phoenix slowly climbing to the top rope as the count hits NINE. He puts the mask back on... TEN!! That's the bell it's OVER!!

Andrew Fulton: Tell HIM that!!

*Dark Phoenix looks at Turner, slowly over to Roxy, who's irate on the outside, and finally to Phoenix, holding the International belt high as he hits the button to raise the cage. Roxy is pacing, looking up at Dark Phoenix, and just as the cage raises enough for her to get in the ring, he leaps off the top rope and delivers a final Phoenix Splash!!*

Jeremy Tucker: Dark Phoenix rolls out of the ring as Roxy makes it to Turner. The crowd is singing the usual as Phoenix hands the title back to Dark Phoenix. What a story. What a fued. What a battle!!

Andrew Fulton: I guess the kids alright.

*Phoenix holds up Dark Phoenix's hand, but the champ rips it away and starts limping up the ramp away from the chaos as "The End" begins playing again. As he gets to the top, he looks back and takes off the Dark Phoenix mask, staring at his father, and gives him a small nod, before holding both the mask and the belt high in the air.*

Jeremy Tucker: That's how SWAT ends 2017!! I can't WAIT to see what 2018 has in store. From all of us here at SWAT to all of you, good year, good life, and good night.

*Fade*