Post by The Big Kahuna on May 6, 2019 1:05:28 GMT -5
We fade into a cozy and newly renovated video production studio, owned by the EIWL. The Big Kahuna and Trenton Digsby are seated across from each other with a sturdy wooden table placed in-between them. Digsby's "EIWL Minute" video series is set to go live in a few minutes on XHF Network & EIWL feeds. There is a very small crew working in the final moments to get the show ready. Silent until now, Digsby decides to break the ice.
Digsby: So...I know we've met before but, so glad to have you on.
Kahuna: Of course. First show. First week. Gotta get things started right around here. No one else will do it for you, that's what I've found out in these past six months. So just get used to me now, this won't be the last time I'm on! Haha!
Digsby can only smile uncomfortably and look away, raising his hand to ask an assistant for some water. It's too late and no one notices him, the slim crew now making last second adjustments and re-verifying the connections. Kahuna is unfazed by all the fuss and he reassures himself by tugging his jacket with both hands so that it fits firmly against his shoulders and chest. Kahuna leans forward and points over in the lap of Digsby who is holding some cards.
Kahuna: You got my notes there? Look, can we cut that bullshit for a second? There's thing's I want to cover here, some points to get across. I'm sure you've got some stuff too, that's fine, good, whatever, but this show is about me getting stuff out there every week, so the people know. Don't make it weird and like, do your own thing, okay?
Trenton can only nod along at this point. Not worried about being outdone by Mr. Digsby's famous white suit, The Big Kahuna is wearing a Nike neon green tank top along with cargo shorts and flip-flop sandals. His skin and hair, however, show much more effort and attention to detail.
As a cue is yelled out, Digsby quickly composes himself. The introduction music plays, a woman points to Digsby, and the show begins with music fading out.
The EIWL Minute! with Trenton Digsby
Digsby: Hello EIWL fans! This is the EIWL Minute and I am your host Trenton Digsby. And fans, getting right to it, with me tonight - just off of his most recent victory in a table match against Thumper, The Big Kahuna! Welcome, Kahuna.
Kahuna: Thank you Trent, I just could not help myself! I am on pins and needles waiting to get the last pieces of the EIWL off the ground and I knew I needed to be here tonight to share the absolute latest with everyone.
Digsby: Speaking of latest action, as I mentioned, you had yourself a wrasslin' match again! Tell us, what was that like, how was it to get back into the ring?
Kahuna: That was just...doing what had to be done. And after seeing what kind of shape Ol' Thump was in, it wasn't much of a fair fight at all. It was unfortunate that it broke up a really fun night for us. But my God! He really didn't know what kind of trouble he was getting himself in. Anyone who sees me, in our outside the ring...or just walking down the street, they know I mean business. Few people underestimate me, if you know what I'm sayin'. Thump, well...he's just one of those odd balls that doesn't "get the idea" right away.
...But to tell you the truth, that already feels like ancient history. And plus, there's such good news about the EIW...
Digsby: Did anyone find out how he got access to the belt? The championship belt, that is?
Kahuna: I haven't...There hasn't yet been...Look, it's back in my hands - the EIWL's hands - and that's what, I believe, really matters to the fans out...
Digsby: And security? The EIWL's or the venue's for that night?
Kahuna: Security? SECURITY? Listen...I'm the goddamn security guard. I book the arenas. Okay? I am the C-E-O. It is ALL on me, at the end of the day. And again...what is the end result? A stupid man gets his ass beat and the belt comes gracefully back into our possession.
Digsby: It..most certainly did...Well,
Kahuna: No - more than that. More than that Trent. I'm not going to lay down the responsibility of this league to anyone. That's what that was about. Okay?
Digsby: Okay, fair enough then. Moving to "network news", I know we have a new audience joining us, what can you tell us about that?
Kahuna: Well Trent, now you're talkin'! Yes, we're extremely happy to have the XHF network viewers able to join all of our broadcasts going forward...And it's all been thanks to a very generous partnership with the XHF. In fact, a lot of things have become possible for the EIWL because of our collaboration. In addition to our Jackson Rancheria venue, we have been able to secure a second venue deal in Stockton at the Stockton Arena! The locations will share duties as the homes of our two monthly shows. I cannot wait to bring our EIWL vibes down into Stockton, I know those crowds are going to love what we have to offer!
Digsby: That's amazing news! An..and on that front, is there any word when tickets will be available?
Kahuna: That's still being ironed out - they're in what I would call "pre-pre-sale". We just don't want to make any promises we can't keep. But as soon as they're available, that information will be spread far and wide across all of our social media, and of course, these broadcasts.
Digsby: Already so much news this past week from you Kahuna...But the talent pool so far, has there been any movement there? Do we yet know who the four championship tournament spots belong to?
Kahuna: Uh, well...That's really another aspect of the XHF partnership. Being able to have the additional exposure, access to more talent...This week actually, myself and our analyst extraordinaire, Andrew Knightswallows, are going to be making some trips out to some training centers as well as some un-signed talent competitions. I hope I'll have great news to tell you in the coming weeks but we can't rush anything. The EIWL and the fans deserve to see talented wrestlers night in and night out, and that's what they're going to get. So Andy and I have our work cut out for us, for sure.
Digsby: Best of luck to you and Andrew, that will be great to hopefully see the future of the EIWL. To that end, maybe as a final parting thought Kahuna, what do you think it takes for someone to wrestle in the EIWL? Maybe if someone out there is watching at home, what kind of wrestlers are you looking to have in your ring?
Kahuna: I'm partial to people who have the guts to get in the ring in the first place. The EIWL doesn't have a cookie cutter to shape wrestlers. We do not make wrestlers here. We test their merits. And we take 'em all shapes. All sizes. All genitalia. All styles. If someone is out there tonight, wondering if they have what it takes for a shot here...For gold...For wrestling glory...Then, Mr. Digsby, the only question I would have for them is, "Are you willing to give everything?" I'm not talking about trying really hard. Or "giving 100% effort". I'm talking about...Can you give EVERYTHING? That's what it takes. And we'll find it.
Digsby: Wow, well folks you know where to find us online and now applications are available at both our Stockton and Jackson venue locations, be one of the first four to have a chance at grabbing gold! We will see you all soon, take care everyone.
Kahuna: Good night.
The show fades out and a producer motions and calls out the "all clear". Kahuna briskly gets up, adjusting his suit as he stands up all the way. Digsby shuffles his notes for a moment, looking proud but slightly defeated. He hasn't looked up and silently hopes Kahuna will walk away without noticing him again.
Kahuna: Good job tonight Digsby. Almost fucked it up there with that "security" shit, but you recovered nicely. Don't fuck it up again or you're fired...
Kahuna sees someone.
Kahuna: Hello my little Razin...
Kahuna walks off towards a woman and they walk out of the studio together through a small double door into the outside world. Digsby tosses the note cards down onto the table in a bit of a huff as we...
Digsby: God damnit!
...fade to black.
