Post by JasonCash on Jul 9, 2019 10:28:03 GMT -5
It was an over cast day. Dark clouds blanketed the sky. Rain was definitely in the forcast. Fuck. It rained every day on Sin Island.Our hero, wearing his jeans, white shirt, and cowboy hat, stood in the front lawn of a very large house. The house resembled a castle. It was massive and decorated with river rock. Trees lined the long driveway, but also separated the home from the other houses. It was, to put it mildly, beautiful. The house was simply gorgeous. It was one of those houses you saw in better homes and gardens. It was, to put it flatly, not Jason's style.
Jason wasn't alone. A rather nice looking blonde lady in a blue business suit stood beside him. Her hair hung down to her waist. She had legs for days sticking out of the bottom of her blue skirt. And those titties? They were huge. This was a realtor.
You see, Zaslaw had advised that Cash move to the area. He preferred the country where he could take a piss outside without anyone complaining. Where the nearest neighbor was half a mile aways
And so here he was, with a pretty blonde realtor who kept looking at his crotch, looking at a huge home. To tell the truth, the house didnt fit Jason. It was much too nice for our hillbilly hero. He was a simple man, but this house was fancy and massive. He did like the huge yard.
"I can put out my chickens out here", He thought to himself.
The realtor, who had grown tired of the awkward silence, finally broke it.
"So this is the outside. The house was built in two thousand. It is 4 thousand square feet and sits on a one acre lot.", she said, trying to get Jason's attention.
She got it. Jason looked at her.
"That a hell of a lot a land. I can put my sumbitchin chickens out thar", he said.
It took a few minutes for this to process in the young blonde's mind. She was staring at his crotch when he spoke, but his accent was very hard for her to understand.
"I'm sorry, Did you say chickens?"she asked.
Jason nodded.
"Yup. Gotta whole mess of em.", He answered. "they'd have plenty of room over yonder by that big oak tree.", he added.
She looked at him wide eyed.
"You cant have chickens out here, Mr. Cash. The neighbors would complain.", she said.
Jason grinned.
"Well then I reckon I'll damn it take it." He said.
Jason didn’t exactly like the house. It was too big for him. He loved the land, but pissing off neighbors was something he couldn’t resist.
She smiled at him widely. "I’m so glad.", she said out loud as her eyes drifted to his bulging crotch.
Now, usually it takes a week or two in order to ge the keys and the loans for the house. But this was Zaslaws deal. He did whatever he wanted to do and had his hands in everything. Was that needed here? fuck no! Jason simply handed her a check, signed a paper and the house was his.The blonde thanked him profusely. Jason ignored her mostly. He'd heard it all before when he bought his trailer.
"That'll do lil darlin" Jason said to the very pretty blonde.
She blushed a shade of red that is rarely seen. I'm talking beet red. This girl couldn’t get any redder. Jason noticed and smiled to himself.
"Yall like my accent, huh?", he asked.
She nodded.
"Exotic to yall, huh?"He asked.
Again, she nodded. Jason could only laugh.
You understand that most people have always wondered exactly why Jason could pull women so easy. They never really caught on. It was his accent. Women love his southern draw. All the guy really ever had to do was say "Hey Yall", and pantied dropped.
"You wanna go inside, donthca?"Jason asked with a wide grin before spitting on the lush, green grass.
She nodded.
"The house comes fully furnished."She said.
Jason smiled wider.
"You know I'm sumbitchin married, right? he asked.
She nodded.
"Your wife doesn’t have to know"
And Jason started laughing even harder.
"You know she'd damn it find out anyway, right? We on camera. You one of them wild girls what likes ta get down on camera?", he asked.
Her faced turned red. Was it from embarassment? Was she mad? Who knows. She did, however, keep glancing down at his crotch.
"It aint gone damn happen, honey.", he said as he rubbed his crotch with a smile.
Jason just liked to know he still had it...and it was clear that he did.
Frustrated, our blonde realtor turned to leave. Jason watched her hips sway as she walked away. He then turned back and looked at the massive house
"Well look whos movin on up in the world! ME! Yea..thats right. See that big ole house up there? That’s mine. Bought it just now. Don’t really like it all that much. Too damn big..But it's mine. But hell..that aint the only damn thang movin up. Looks like Sin Island gone be moving up. Y'all see how that Zaslaw fella came to me talk in bout how he wanted me ta take out that big ole ugly sumbitch what holds the islands strap? I reckon I'm a regular ole hillbilly hired gun. I ain't sayin I'm complaining. I ain't. I'm dangerous enough to bring this here Island to the sumbitchin top, I am. Shit. If anybody can do it, it'd be a country boy who ain't afraid ta get hit in the face.”
He spit tobacco on the grass.
“Like that Marcus feller. Now y'all know that sumbitch don't like getting hit in the face. He too busy tryin ta win them perty people awards an what not. I still don't damn it know how he plans on winning one of them thangs with two whole legs shoved up his ass. Oh it's gone happen. I'm gone bend that sumbitch over and shove both my legs up his ass. Course that's after I piss on his damn face. That old boy looks like a fuckin toilet ta me. Don't he look like one ta y'all? Sumbitch looks like he ain't never been in no fight before neither. How the hell he plan on winnin this here Fightin match when he that type sumbitch? Huh? That ole boy in way over his head. Shit. If this was the deep end of the pool, that sumbitch done drowned by now. Lungs full of water an shit. He'll. Lungs prolly full of some dudes baby batter too. Prolly ain't no room fer water up in there. I guess I'm just wondering if that sumbitch's ready fer a fight. Don't look like he is.”
Jason spit on the ground again.
“Me? My ass be ready fer a fight all the sumbitchin time. That mess is what I do. I drank. I fight. Then I get up in the mornin an do that mess all over again. Shit. I can take a beatin too. I like 'at mess. The better the fight, the more I like it. And when I like it, I sumbitchin win it. That ole boy in fer a rude ass awakening when he climbs his ass in that rang with me. Ima spit in that sumbitch's face then kick his teeth down his fuckin throat.”
Jason grinned a wide grin before sitting down on the front step of the lavish Sin Island home. Sure there were close neighbors, but Jason figured he'd be just fine kissing them off every day.
“Y'all know something. I just thought of a new song bout Marcus Clarke. Don't know what in the hell I'm gone call this sumbitch but I'm gone sang it right now. Y'all ready?
He was a punk bitch.
Crazy bout makeup
Loved horse dick
An his tight jeans too
He got his ass kicked
By a man named Jason
Now he's ugly
And he ain't got no clue
He's Marcus Clarke!”
Damn. That's a mighty fine song! I love it. I love good drank too. Wonder if there ain't any in this big ass house. Be back 'fore ya can tingle yet dick four times.”
Jason came back a few minutes later. He didn't look happy.
“Fuckin sumbitches. Ain't leave no good drank. Welp. Looks like we go in on a beer run.”
Chapter 2:
“Marcus! Yo ass in here?!”
Justin Beaver blared on a large sound system as Jason Cash pushed his way through a crowd of women in fancy dresses. He fumbled as he did so, clearly too drunk to be where he was.
“Excuse me, but the pageant doesn't start until later tonight.” Came an angry voice.
Cash turned to see a woman who was as wide as she was tall. She only stood about five foot three but that meant she was over five feet around.
“Swamp donkey. They real.” Jason said under his breathe.
“Excuse me? Did you just call me a swamp donkey?” She asked as she wobbled her way through the crowd of contestants.
Our hero had stumbled his way into reversals for the MS. Sin Island pageant. It was held every year at the Hitchcock Hotel and Casino. Women came from all over the island to compete. Most were hookers who had no business entering a pageant. But some were young women who loved pageants. All were fucking gorgeous, however.
The area was nicely decorated with white chairs and paint and golden accents. The contestants all wore evening gown of all colors. Some were classy. A few showed of breasts that appeared to be fruit roll ups that had been shoved into women's clothing.
“It Fuckin talks?! Ho. Lee. Shit. Swamp donkeys Fuck in talk!” Cash yelled, his voice trembled with fear.
“Who the fuck are you?!” She asked as she stood up to Jason, eyeing him from below due to her short stature.
“Oh lord God. Please let this tubby bitch just be an ugly ole wampus cat!” Jason prayed.
This angered the lady even more.
“I'm just fuckin with ya, tubby.” Jason laughed.
He very nearly fell over but caught his balance quickly on this large midgets head.
“Oh shit. I touched it! Reckon I ain't no virgin no more. They say touchin a wampus cats heads makes you jizz. Welp. That shit ain't work. Reckon you broke. Must not work with the ugly ones.” Jason laughed before stumbling toward the stage.
“You need to leave! Now!” She yelled.
Jason shook his head.
“Can't. Marcus Clark's my ride home. You seen that sumbitch. Real Perth. Looks like a Bitch. Walks round like he's got a two by four shoved up his ass.” Jason asked. “Marcus! You here?”
The fat midget who was apparently running the show had turned red in the face. A thick vein had begun to stick out on her forehead. If looks could kill, they'd both be dead many times over.
“There is no Marcus Clarke here. You're in the wrong place.” She said about as calmly as she could.
Cash spit tobacco on the floor, much to the disgust of the tubby lady who was still yelling at him.
“Get. Out. Now!” She yelled, the vein in her head getting bigger and bigger.
“How I know that? He says he the perty Prince. At least some of y'all swamp rats look aight enough. You sure that sumbitch ain't here? That'n in back over yonder looks like she ain't shaved her face today. Marcus! Git yo ass over here! I'm gone let boots an asses meet today!” Cash laughed.
“Are you drunk?” The tubby bitch asked.
“Yup.” Cash replied as he spit tobacco on the floor again.
“Im calling security.” She said.
Cash doubled over laughing.
“Bout damn time. Y'all got a fuckin swamp demon runnin round here.” Cash said as he headed for the door.
Fade.
“Marcus Clarke! Tick tock, sumbitch. Yo time with that soft, woman lookin face is comin to a sumbitchin stop. Party soon ain't gone be nothin left but meat an piss. I hear y'all sumbitch's over yonder on celest island are soft sumbitch's. What with her sunny clouds an beaches. Ain't gotta work hard fer a damn thang in yet lives. Yo ass better be work in hard as hell cause Jason Cash is comin fer that ads. I'm comin ta stomp a sumbitchin mudhole in it. I ain't gone walk it dry though. Damn 'at mess.
I'm coming to island warfare to drank good drank an beat some ass. I got plenty of good drank an you beggin fer an asswhoopin. Gone be a loooooonng ass night for you, son.
An don't you thank I done forgot about you, Crazy sumbitch. I know you out ta git me fer hog tiein her giant baby. You done said I was gone pay fer that. Shit. You sign checks. Looks like you gone be paying my ass for whooping yer boys ass. Y'all be ready now. Sorry bout y'alls luck.”
Jason wasn't alone. A rather nice looking blonde lady in a blue business suit stood beside him. Her hair hung down to her waist. She had legs for days sticking out of the bottom of her blue skirt. And those titties? They were huge. This was a realtor.
You see, Zaslaw had advised that Cash move to the area. He preferred the country where he could take a piss outside without anyone complaining. Where the nearest neighbor was half a mile aways
And so here he was, with a pretty blonde realtor who kept looking at his crotch, looking at a huge home. To tell the truth, the house didnt fit Jason. It was much too nice for our hillbilly hero. He was a simple man, but this house was fancy and massive. He did like the huge yard.
"I can put out my chickens out here", He thought to himself.
The realtor, who had grown tired of the awkward silence, finally broke it.
"So this is the outside. The house was built in two thousand. It is 4 thousand square feet and sits on a one acre lot.", she said, trying to get Jason's attention.
She got it. Jason looked at her.
"That a hell of a lot a land. I can put my sumbitchin chickens out thar", he said.
It took a few minutes for this to process in the young blonde's mind. She was staring at his crotch when he spoke, but his accent was very hard for her to understand.
"I'm sorry, Did you say chickens?"she asked.
Jason nodded.
"Yup. Gotta whole mess of em.", He answered. "they'd have plenty of room over yonder by that big oak tree.", he added.
She looked at him wide eyed.
"You cant have chickens out here, Mr. Cash. The neighbors would complain.", she said.
Jason grinned.
"Well then I reckon I'll damn it take it." He said.
Jason didn’t exactly like the house. It was too big for him. He loved the land, but pissing off neighbors was something he couldn’t resist.
She smiled at him widely. "I’m so glad.", she said out loud as her eyes drifted to his bulging crotch.
Now, usually it takes a week or two in order to ge the keys and the loans for the house. But this was Zaslaws deal. He did whatever he wanted to do and had his hands in everything. Was that needed here? fuck no! Jason simply handed her a check, signed a paper and the house was his.The blonde thanked him profusely. Jason ignored her mostly. He'd heard it all before when he bought his trailer.
"That'll do lil darlin" Jason said to the very pretty blonde.
She blushed a shade of red that is rarely seen. I'm talking beet red. This girl couldn’t get any redder. Jason noticed and smiled to himself.
"Yall like my accent, huh?", he asked.
She nodded.
"Exotic to yall, huh?"He asked.
Again, she nodded. Jason could only laugh.
You understand that most people have always wondered exactly why Jason could pull women so easy. They never really caught on. It was his accent. Women love his southern draw. All the guy really ever had to do was say "Hey Yall", and pantied dropped.
"You wanna go inside, donthca?"Jason asked with a wide grin before spitting on the lush, green grass.
She nodded.
"The house comes fully furnished."She said.
Jason smiled wider.
"You know I'm sumbitchin married, right? he asked.
She nodded.
"Your wife doesn’t have to know"
And Jason started laughing even harder.
"You know she'd damn it find out anyway, right? We on camera. You one of them wild girls what likes ta get down on camera?", he asked.
Her faced turned red. Was it from embarassment? Was she mad? Who knows. She did, however, keep glancing down at his crotch.
"It aint gone damn happen, honey.", he said as he rubbed his crotch with a smile.
Jason just liked to know he still had it...and it was clear that he did.
Frustrated, our blonde realtor turned to leave. Jason watched her hips sway as she walked away. He then turned back and looked at the massive house
"Well look whos movin on up in the world! ME! Yea..thats right. See that big ole house up there? That’s mine. Bought it just now. Don’t really like it all that much. Too damn big..But it's mine. But hell..that aint the only damn thang movin up. Looks like Sin Island gone be moving up. Y'all see how that Zaslaw fella came to me talk in bout how he wanted me ta take out that big ole ugly sumbitch what holds the islands strap? I reckon I'm a regular ole hillbilly hired gun. I ain't sayin I'm complaining. I ain't. I'm dangerous enough to bring this here Island to the sumbitchin top, I am. Shit. If anybody can do it, it'd be a country boy who ain't afraid ta get hit in the face.”
He spit tobacco on the grass.
“Like that Marcus feller. Now y'all know that sumbitch don't like getting hit in the face. He too busy tryin ta win them perty people awards an what not. I still don't damn it know how he plans on winning one of them thangs with two whole legs shoved up his ass. Oh it's gone happen. I'm gone bend that sumbitch over and shove both my legs up his ass. Course that's after I piss on his damn face. That old boy looks like a fuckin toilet ta me. Don't he look like one ta y'all? Sumbitch looks like he ain't never been in no fight before neither. How the hell he plan on winnin this here Fightin match when he that type sumbitch? Huh? That ole boy in way over his head. Shit. If this was the deep end of the pool, that sumbitch done drowned by now. Lungs full of water an shit. He'll. Lungs prolly full of some dudes baby batter too. Prolly ain't no room fer water up in there. I guess I'm just wondering if that sumbitch's ready fer a fight. Don't look like he is.”
Jason spit on the ground again.
“Me? My ass be ready fer a fight all the sumbitchin time. That mess is what I do. I drank. I fight. Then I get up in the mornin an do that mess all over again. Shit. I can take a beatin too. I like 'at mess. The better the fight, the more I like it. And when I like it, I sumbitchin win it. That ole boy in fer a rude ass awakening when he climbs his ass in that rang with me. Ima spit in that sumbitch's face then kick his teeth down his fuckin throat.”
Jason grinned a wide grin before sitting down on the front step of the lavish Sin Island home. Sure there were close neighbors, but Jason figured he'd be just fine kissing them off every day.
“Y'all know something. I just thought of a new song bout Marcus Clarke. Don't know what in the hell I'm gone call this sumbitch but I'm gone sang it right now. Y'all ready?
He was a punk bitch.
Crazy bout makeup
Loved horse dick
An his tight jeans too
He got his ass kicked
By a man named Jason
Now he's ugly
And he ain't got no clue
He's Marcus Clarke!”
Damn. That's a mighty fine song! I love it. I love good drank too. Wonder if there ain't any in this big ass house. Be back 'fore ya can tingle yet dick four times.”
Jason came back a few minutes later. He didn't look happy.
“Fuckin sumbitches. Ain't leave no good drank. Welp. Looks like we go in on a beer run.”
Chapter 2:
“Marcus! Yo ass in here?!”
Justin Beaver blared on a large sound system as Jason Cash pushed his way through a crowd of women in fancy dresses. He fumbled as he did so, clearly too drunk to be where he was.
“Excuse me, but the pageant doesn't start until later tonight.” Came an angry voice.
Cash turned to see a woman who was as wide as she was tall. She only stood about five foot three but that meant she was over five feet around.
“Swamp donkey. They real.” Jason said under his breathe.
“Excuse me? Did you just call me a swamp donkey?” She asked as she wobbled her way through the crowd of contestants.
Our hero had stumbled his way into reversals for the MS. Sin Island pageant. It was held every year at the Hitchcock Hotel and Casino. Women came from all over the island to compete. Most were hookers who had no business entering a pageant. But some were young women who loved pageants. All were fucking gorgeous, however.
The area was nicely decorated with white chairs and paint and golden accents. The contestants all wore evening gown of all colors. Some were classy. A few showed of breasts that appeared to be fruit roll ups that had been shoved into women's clothing.
“It Fuckin talks?! Ho. Lee. Shit. Swamp donkeys Fuck in talk!” Cash yelled, his voice trembled with fear.
“Who the fuck are you?!” She asked as she stood up to Jason, eyeing him from below due to her short stature.
“Oh lord God. Please let this tubby bitch just be an ugly ole wampus cat!” Jason prayed.
This angered the lady even more.
“I'm just fuckin with ya, tubby.” Jason laughed.
He very nearly fell over but caught his balance quickly on this large midgets head.
“Oh shit. I touched it! Reckon I ain't no virgin no more. They say touchin a wampus cats heads makes you jizz. Welp. That shit ain't work. Reckon you broke. Must not work with the ugly ones.” Jason laughed before stumbling toward the stage.
“You need to leave! Now!” She yelled.
Jason shook his head.
“Can't. Marcus Clark's my ride home. You seen that sumbitch. Real Perth. Looks like a Bitch. Walks round like he's got a two by four shoved up his ass.” Jason asked. “Marcus! You here?”
The fat midget who was apparently running the show had turned red in the face. A thick vein had begun to stick out on her forehead. If looks could kill, they'd both be dead many times over.
“There is no Marcus Clarke here. You're in the wrong place.” She said about as calmly as she could.
Cash spit tobacco on the floor, much to the disgust of the tubby lady who was still yelling at him.
“Get. Out. Now!” She yelled, the vein in her head getting bigger and bigger.
“How I know that? He says he the perty Prince. At least some of y'all swamp rats look aight enough. You sure that sumbitch ain't here? That'n in back over yonder looks like she ain't shaved her face today. Marcus! Git yo ass over here! I'm gone let boots an asses meet today!” Cash laughed.
“Are you drunk?” The tubby bitch asked.
“Yup.” Cash replied as he spit tobacco on the floor again.
“Im calling security.” She said.
Cash doubled over laughing.
“Bout damn time. Y'all got a fuckin swamp demon runnin round here.” Cash said as he headed for the door.
Fade.
“Marcus Clarke! Tick tock, sumbitch. Yo time with that soft, woman lookin face is comin to a sumbitchin stop. Party soon ain't gone be nothin left but meat an piss. I hear y'all sumbitch's over yonder on celest island are soft sumbitch's. What with her sunny clouds an beaches. Ain't gotta work hard fer a damn thang in yet lives. Yo ass better be work in hard as hell cause Jason Cash is comin fer that ads. I'm comin ta stomp a sumbitchin mudhole in it. I ain't gone walk it dry though. Damn 'at mess.
I'm coming to island warfare to drank good drank an beat some ass. I got plenty of good drank an you beggin fer an asswhoopin. Gone be a loooooonng ass night for you, son.
An don't you thank I done forgot about you, Crazy sumbitch. I know you out ta git me fer hog tiein her giant baby. You done said I was gone pay fer that. Shit. You sign checks. Looks like you gone be paying my ass for whooping yer boys ass. Y'all be ready now. Sorry bout y'alls luck.”